#dw i won’t go TOO overboard :p

[phantomdecibel]

Okay I have to go to sleep so goodnight boop, I am trusting you to not entirely destroy my notifs while I’m gone 😂😂😂

I make no promises hehehe >:33

goodnight! sleep well :D

[glitterghast]

tell me more abt the modern au .... pls

okay so i completely let myself get carried away with this au. like…i need to put it all under a cut so that people don’t wind up with a massive wall of text on their dashboards

so yeah, it’s modern day and a poly au and the best way i can think to describe it all is through dot-points. but essentially, it starts before they all even know each other.

Jenny:

- likes girls and guys, with a slight preference for girls

- wears skinny jeans and oversized hoodies, or pretty dresses and cardigans. no in between

- a nurse at the local hospital, works with patsy

- was dating jimmy before she even knew any of the others

- listen,,, poly jenny/jimmy/alec technically kickstarted the entire poly ship in this au 

- meets trixie through some first aid course she was conned into doing at the school

- they kinda danced around their mutual crush for a while before jimmy and alec did the whole “oh yeah why don’t the four of us go out tonight- whoops we suddenly can’t go, guess it’s just you two” kinda thing

- always has to be the first one awake in the morning

- almost always arguing with patsy over how things should be organised. they can never agree

- she swears the most out of everyone 

Trixie:

- likes girls and guys equally. bisexual and not afraid to call you out on your bullshit stereotypes

- no change of fashion from canon

- dyes her hair weird colours

- has a history of addiction that she’s almost entirely recovered from by the time she meets everyone else

- works as a kindergarten teacher

- has known cynthia for a year; lived in the apartment across from her and gives her lifts to work

- dated cynthia before they met any of the others, even if they’d never admit they were a couple

- drinks too much coffee

- needs to kiss everyone before she leaves for work

- is okay with clutter as long as the Aesthetic™ of the room isn’t ruined

- has a huge dog called max who she dresses up in baby bonnets and carries everywhere

- loves the dog filter, won’t rest until she can get it to recognise max’s face 

- tries to be BFFs with her girlfriends’ mothers 

Cynthia:

- aroace. gets defensive when people think it means she just can’t date people

- has that sort of ‘skirts and peter pan blouses’ look, never really wears anything too colourful, always wears stockings despite the weather

- long history of mental illness; has had trixie drive her to therapy on multiple occasions

- works at the local library and bookstore

- volunteers at the parish hall and animal shelter

- (it’s entirely her fault that trixie has max)

- has a therapy cat named mary

- met jenny through trixie. they were kinda awkward for a while but…well this is a poly au so the rest is history

- often winds up the middle of cuddle puddles 

- officially dubbed the baby of the group by patsy 

- actually gets the angriest out of everyone 

- can remember everyone’s routines and eating habits. knows just how each person likes their coffee/tea/hot chocolate and what mug they like it in 

- knows how to dupe everyone else in every game ever. mario kart? always knows the shortcuts and always chooses rainbow road. monopoly? always ends up with hotels on every space. uno? somehow manages to have an endless supply of +4 cards

Barbara:

- fluctuates between saying she’s bi and saying she’s pan. has a preference for guys

- wears cute pinafores and overalls, huge collection of socks 

- has a huge collection of cacti and succulents, calls them her children

- somehow always manages to have a smudge of dirt somewhere

- likes pineapple on pizza 

- works at a cafe in town, knows patsy and delia from how frequently they eat there

- lived with them for a while after her apartment building was scheduled to be knocked down

- effectively the constant third-wheel

- went to school with trixie, had a huge crush on her 

- it takes her ages to figure out that trixie’s dating jenny and cynthia (and by this point that relationship is sorta starting to merge with delia and patsy)

- so it actually kinda takes her ages to join the entire relationship herself 

- (it’s totally patsy and delia who set her up w/ trixie lbh)

- was kinda scared of max for a while

- tries to be the peacekeeper of the group but it rarely works 

- idk whether or not tom exists in this au or not

Patsy:

- trans lesbian

- wears flannel all the time

- “if people can’t tell i’m gay within a second of meeting me, then what’s the point?”

- the only one who doesn’t celebrate christmas, begrudgingly deals with delia going overboard every year 

- constantly exhausted but “coffee is for the weak”

- will kill a man if she doesn’t get nine hours of sleep 

- delia’s high school sweetheart

- gay matchmaker. are you straight? she’ll find you someone that’ll make you rethink that

- tries to keep everyone else on a schedule, but it never works 

- can’t cook for shit 

- like seriously she nearly burned the house down trying to boil an egg 

- wants to be a writer, can’t find a moment of peace 

- A+ comfort-cuddler (needless to say, she’s really bad at seeking comfort when she’s the one who needs it)

- always has a mini first-aid kit on hand (for delia. she’s the only one who ever needs it)

- kicks in her sleep 

Delia:

- really fucking gay but i don’t need to tell you that

- legitimately gets offended when people think she could ever like a guy

- deaf. she’s deaf. the most concrete headcanon in this au 

- had adhd and a lack of self preservation 

- always covered in plasters

- will climb/drink/eat/do anything for money

- an artist, goes from job to job most of the time

- paints on the walls, the ceiling, the banister

- paints on barbara while she sleeps 

- once painted the door handle to patsy’s room because she wouldn’t buy milk 

- gets drunk and gives herself and/or trixie stick-n-pokes 

- takes super long showers, uses the hot water 

- totally didn’t mean to send those nudes to you 

- steals people’s clothes 

Valerie:

- nonbinary

- likes girls exclusively, but has only had boyfriends before (in high school)

- wears horrid 80s fashion (but will always let trixie dress her up)

- plays old video games. she’s really bad at them

- manager at the cafe babs works at 

- went to school with cynthia 

- join the poly group way later

- starts dating trixie and dates only her for a long while (see: nearly a year) before joining the cuddle puddle and moving in

- she and delia argue about pointless shit a lot 

- someone takes their eye off her for a second and she winds up in some small-town jail in scotland 

- sleeps in the latest 

- takes people on the cutest dates 

- rivals trixie for being the neediest affection-wise

so that’s like. the main group. but then you have jimmy and alec who’re dating jenny (and each other) and they’re like…the OG cuddle puddle so i’m gonna include them too even though they don’t move into the same flat like the rest 

Jimmy:

- small bi trans guy 

- like seriously he used to hold the half-inch he had on jenny over her head, and then they met alec and now he has to come to terms with his shortness 

- been dating jenny for like…a while 

- they kind of told people they were dating just so they’d stop asking questions but then it just sort of…became a real thing

- they came out to their parents together because they’re kind of inseparable 

- met alec through working as a carpenter and was like “holy shit i wanna kiss him but i can’t reach his face”

- eventually they came to the decision that it’d be alright if he kissed alec

- so he did? it was very unexpected for everyone involved 

- weirdly enough jimmy’s the start of the poly au 

- shares trixie’s love for the dog filter 

- has This Look when he wants kisses (it always works)

Alec:

- tall™

- dresses all smart and shit but also has a bunch of hoodies (that jimmy and jenny steal)

- is competitive with jenny over everything: finishing books first, getting through the door quicker, giving jimmy more kisses in a day, putting the most juice in their glass without it spilling over 

- doesn’t Get™ snapchat or any other type of social media 

- actually really good at drawing 

- secret art BFFs with delia 

- building inspector; nearly fell through a hole in the ground because he got distracted by jimmy 

- likes to see how much she can annoy jenny before she says something

then there’s like. extra characters who aren’t part of this giant fucking cuddle puddle they’re just there (but they’re important i promise you)

phyllis:

- lives in the flat next to the one the girls move into 

- a retired nurse 

- tries not to be so stern now that she isn’t a nurse anymore

- doesn’t succeed but at least she has a massive soft side

- lives with five cats 

- looks after mary sometimes 

- doesn’t like max at all 

- tries to teach her cats spanish 

- the others worried that she’d be super homophobic but she adores the giant gay family that lives next door 

- delia’s her favourite, though 

- purely because she witnessed her follow patsy barefoot out into the rain, yell “shoe’s are for pussies”, then proceed to climb patsy’s side like a fucking animal and cling to her while the taller girl kept walking 

dr. turner:

- still married to shelagh with all their children dw 

- works with jenny and patsy at the hospital 

- (i still haven’t decided whether shelagh works at the same hospital) 

- he’s basically who patsy and jimmy see about hormones n stuff like that 

- so in the end he kinda finds out about this huge relationship because how else could two of his patients be dating another nurse at the hospital 

- he’s p cool but he’s not really a main part in the au, so i don’t have much of a story for the turner family Whoops 

so that's...essentially it?? tl;dr: jenny knows trixie through work, and meets cynthia through trixie. they meet patsy, jimmy and alec through jenny, and through patsy they meet delia and barbara. and then through barbara they meet valerie. dr. turner and shelagh work with jenny and patsy. and phyllis is their next-door neighbour who probably puts up with far too much shit. this entire response is 6-7 pages in a word document. thank you