#durite

[booticro]

Compact, tip stilou portabil, simplu de utilizat! Acest PH-metru digital este un instrument ideal pentru masurarea PH-ului din acvarii, piscine, pentru laboratoare scolare, etc.

[lakemojave]

My Dnd character doesn't get all these big words

Feat. @caputvulpinum (Micah) @radiofreederry (Dhudlei Durite) and my friend April (Leviathan)

Check it out on tiktok, catch up on The Direct Actors series here!

[sibmakesart]

For the Lyon au, when Sanji sees that Garp is in the restaurant :

MDR

c exactement ça

a 2 doigts de peter une durite

[chiefatticcreator]

As long as we're on a hypno focus. Jacques using Atlas tech to brainwash his daughters to be daddy's little girls.

Jacques had had enough. After yet another incident where his Weiss had talked back to him in public, and Winter had defended her, he knew action had to be taken. Swift, immediate, and decisive action.

Even with their defiance, they could not refuse to see him when he ordered them too, not to try the latest Atlas tech he asked them to, especially as he played it off as a "gift" to make them forgive him. Convinced they were putting one over him, Weiss and winter had put the atlas helmets on, and Jacques had turned the "re-éducation" program on.

And then he simply had to return to his normal durites and wait for the program to have doen its magic on his daughters.

+++A few weeks later+++

"Slrrrppp!" "Glrrrppptt!"

Spit, slobber and moans were music to his ears, as they had been for the past days. Jacques made a movement of his hand and the noises subsided to a more manageable level as his face remained the picture of calm while he talked to his camera.

Meanwhile, under his desk, Weiss was gagging on her father's cock, taking the shaft directly down her throat, swallowing nearly his entire length in her efforts. Meanwhile, Winter was kissing and sucking on his testicles, trying to make them produce even more cum as she sucked on them, feeling their warmth in her mouth.

Their pupils were replaced by hearts in their adoration. They lived for their father, they wanted his cock, his cum. they wanted to service him all they could, giving him blowjobs under his desk while he worked.

Weiss had to pull his cock out of her mouth to breathe, but nuzzled on it as she took deep huffs of her daddy's scent and dick smell. Moaning, she returned to her worship.

[icariebzh]

Jacques avait toujours pensé que la phrase « c’est la durit » était une expression coutumière de politesse chez les automobilistes. Comme « bon appétit » chez les dîneurs, ou « à la tienne Étienne » chez les buveurs. Son ignorance crasse et son mépris profond de la technique du moteur à explosion ne l’autorisaient même pas à se demander ce qui signifiait le mot « durit » dans l’expression « c’est la durit ». Pas plus qu’il ne s’était jamais inquiété de savoir qui était Étienne dans l’expression « à la tienne Étienne ».

Pierre Desproges

[sushis4kalyo]

J'ai conduit une voiture à boite automatique 🚘

En ce moment, ma voiture est au garage car elle perd de l'huile. (Oui, j'espère qu'il faut juste remplacer un joint ou une durit ...) et je me retrouve donc sans voiture.

Mon ancien a donc souhaité me faire conduire sa voiture pour que je puisse la prendre si besoin. Particularité de celle-ci : c'est une boite auto.

J'appréhendais un peu parce qu'on m'avait prévenu que "t'as l'impression qu'il manque une pédale !" et que "tu gères plus rien dans les côtes, la voiture calcule tout".

Du coup, il m'a emmenée dans la zone d'activité du village. Au moment de prendre place sur le siège conducteur, il m'hurle "CEINTUUUUURE !!!". Je m'installe, je mets ma ceinture ... je ne savais absolument pas pourquoi il se tenait à la poignée. "C'est bon ? Aller, démarre !" Je démarre donc doucement ... "Freine maintenant." Je freine ... et je fais mes tours de zones tranquillement. Il m'a même proposé de conduire jusqu'à la maison.

Tout s'est bien passé. Bon, comme je conduis une petite i10 en temps normal, j'avais un peu l'impression de conduire un tank avec un un cockpit d'A380. Ça fait un drôle d'effet. Ce qui m'a surpris, c'est que la voiture avance lentement quand tu es en mode Drive pour t'obliger à garder le pied (droit !) sur une pédale.

Sauf qu'après, il m'a expliqué : Pour beaucoup de monde, passer de la boîte manuelle à la boîte auto est plus sportif. Avec l'habitude, beaucoup tentent de débrayer ... sur le frein. Il s'attendait donc à ce que je donne mon plus beau coup de patin ... mais non !

Bon, plus qu'à négocier pour coller un A fantaisie sur sa voiture ...

[thetulipchildren]

Pour la restauration du Léviathan,notre huile...du temple .. métaphore de se qui garde notre huile

.

L'humour c la soupape

Et la durite brise pour la paix

.

C le seul remède que toute chose ne peut pas atteindre contre toi

.

A chaque fois qu'un homme

Trouve Moshe

.

Les possédé non pas du bocal

Mais de d'autre chose

.

Parle de combat dans le sacrifice et martyrisée

.

Pour une délivrance

.

Ba met David devant ça dans ton Spirit

.

Tu vas ce qu'il vas te dire

.

Donc là on a résolu

Des terre qui crée des conscience

Commandité par d'autres

.

Comment c possible

Parce l'albinos

Qui dérivé d'une chose à une autre fortement

Sans que se soit l'importance dissimulé qui y soit révélé

Et tu l'a vue

Albinos c sacré en Afrique

.

[bartholomaus]

Eu am inteles ca nu e nici un inginer care sa dea avizul pe o structura care nu implica calcul de rezistenta. Cand pui doua pietre una peste alta nu poti calcula asta pentru ca intervin multe necunoscute (liantul, duritatea pietrei, pietrarul cioplitura etc) probabil daca sunt pietre de munte ingropate in beton dar atunci nu are rol estetic.

Totul se reduce la "in caz de" si in general la cutremur se refera structura trebuie sa reziste la 8grade. Pe piatra nu poti contola toate acestea si se considera ca e riscul prea mare de asumat.

Intr-adevar, nici un inginer nu o sa isi spuna stampila de verificator de proiect pe un sistem de zid exclusiv din piatra de gresie asa cum sunt construite bisericile fortificate trasnsilvanene si majoritatea caselor inainte de 1900.

Le-am adus dintr-un sat invecinat vestit pentru mesterii ciplitori cumparate de la oamenii locului care stiau unde sunt (fostele lor case parintesti). Unele le-au scos chiar ei. Au fost folositi aproximativ 80 m3 de piatra - aprox 13 masini de mare tonaj pline. Desi in fotografie arata mic, grajdul are 10 m inaltime 28 lungime si 10 latime.

Referitor la piatra, dupa cum spuneam, nu se elibereaza autorizatie de construire pentru lucrari de structura de piatra de gresie. Pentru calcul trebuie sa se bazeze pe grosimi de fier beton si coeficienti de duritate a betonului, la grosimi inaltimi de centuri si fundatii.Expertii pietrari cred ca au disparut din peisaj din nefericire.

Tocmai in spiritul autenticului pentru a acoperi traditional sarpanta s-a construit la Apos o tiglarie traditionala care acum deserveste cu tigla traditionala manuala zona de sud-est a Transilvaniei. Dar initial ideea tiglariei a venit ca suport pentru constructia grajdului .

Daca, cauti asoc.monum. sau pe facebook asocmonum. o sa vezi ce facem referitor la tiglarie si autenticul zonal.

In ziua de astazi nici o constructie nu mai primeste autorizatie decat daca este cu centuri de beton. Doar asa se pot calcula toti coefientii de rezistenta.

In plus nu mai exista mesteri care sa faca zidarie traditionala de rezistenta.

Probabil ca sunt si alte solutii mult mai costisitoare ,dar cea aleasa de mine a fost aceasta si pentru ca am avut buget limitat ( care oricum a fost depasit) S-a dorit sa se foloseasca doar piatra de gresie de rau specifica zonei noastre si asta s-a folosit . Piatra a fost escavata din fundatii vechi acoperite de pamant deja cioplita de mesteri acum sute de ani.

Caramida si betonul a trebuit folosit datorita normelor in vigoare referitoare la structura. Dupa cum vezi, nu s-a facut un placaj cu piatra de 3-5 cm, ci este un zid aparent de 30 cm tocami pentru a evita kitch'ul. A fost solutia de compromis pentru a primi avizul rezistentistului respectiv autorizatia de constructie:)

[hrh-the-royals]

The Wedding Addition - Kurai

Today, we introduce the third Kingdom this series, The Kingdom of Kurai. Here at Royal Collection's, we are going through a new series that explores the wedding tiara's of various queens and kingdom's. We'll be going in order of wedding date's unless there is a repeat! Let's take a trip through history together. Today, we'll be looking at the Kingdom of Kurai! For their fun fact, for wedding royal weddings, there is an official dress that they wear. At the reception dinner, the brides will wear a tiara as they wear an traditional headdress during the wedding ceremony.

Mt. Valley tiara

Queen Bongcha married into the Lee family, the Royal Family of Kurai in 1706. The first official Queen of Kurai after the coup and changing of hands in the country. For her wedding reception, she chose the Mt. Valley tiara. It was created in 1699 and is one of the oldest tiara's in the collection. The tiara had been in the possession of the Miura family before the Lee's took power. Some say, it was a bold choice in cementing the new found power of the Lee family.

Yi Hwa tiara

Queen Chaeyoung married into the family in 1729. She wore the Yi Hwa tiara. The simple and delicate diamond tiara was made by talented jeweler Hwei Hayoung. Hwayoung was a close friend to future Queen Chaeyoung and officially worked for the palace before creating her own company, Hwei Jewels, which has become a long-time favorite of the royal family. Though the tiara was worn in 1729, it was created in 1699. The tiara was named after her daughter and is one of first few pieces.

Queen Chaeyoung's Diamond tiara

The next Queen to marry into the family was Queen Young-ja in 1775. At her reception, she wore Queen Chaeyoung's Diamond tiara. This was the tiara that really put Hwei Jewels on the map after their official launch. The tiara was gifted to Queen Chaeyoung, who promptly wore it at her next public tiara event. After it was scene on the head of Queen Chaeyoung, celebrity and normal person rushed to purchase from the brand.

Ahn tiara

The Ahn tiara was worn and brought into the family by Queen Ae-cha. She married into the family in 1831. The official back story of the tiara is that the Ahn tiara was commissioned by Lady Ahn Sooah in 1805, with the large sapphire in the middle coming from a sapphire necklace that she owned. When she passed away, it was gifted to her close friend, Yi Chaewon who was the mother of the future Queen Ae-cha. That being said, there is a murkier history. Some believe the tiara was a tiara originally owned by the Miura family and stolen in the coup. Some day, the sapphire was added in the middle in an attempt to change the look of the tiara.

Kurai Wave Diadem

Queen Gyeong would marry into the family in 1861, at her reception, she wore the Kurai Wave Diadem. The tiara was made in 1780 and was brought in by a concubine to King Durit. In practice and as a way to ensure no in-fighting after the coup of Kurai. If a King wanted to take a concubine, the concubine would have to agree to what we could call in modern times, a hysterectomy. This was to ensure there were no problems or issue with succession. Queen Ae-cha was known to be a Queen who truly controlled the inner chambers. While many would take the opportunity to be a concubine of the King, it was Ae-cha that they would have to impress. Lady Eunhwa presented the Queen with the diadem long belonged to her family as a personal gift. Eunhwa gained her favor and always made sure to play up to Ae-Cha and remembering her station. She was the most favored by Queen Ae-cha very much enjoyed that favor.

Kurai Wreath tiara

Queen Seo-yun married in 1899. She was also the first queen in her own right in the country. For her reception, she wore the Kurai Wreath tiara. The crown was made in 1712 by the Hwei Hayoung when she worked for the court jeweler. The original crown was made with blue sapphire's but has been wore with different settings such as imperial topaz, ruby’s, aquamarine, pearls, red opal and mystic quartz. Despite it's grand stature, it's a tiara that has been commonly used in the royal family.

Hwei Wreath tiara

In 1932, Queen Seo-ah married into the Kurai royal family. At her wedding reception she wore the Hwei Wreath tiara. The tiara was made only two years prior by Hwei Hayoung, who based it off the design of the Kurai Wreath tiara in 1930. The smaller and more delicate design matched perfectly with Queen Seo-ah. The rubies adorned in the tiara came from Queen Seo-yun's personal collection.

Spider Diamond tiara

Nari, 1st Duchess of Gwasu married into the family in 1970, on her wedding day she wore the Spider Diamond tiara. This tiara was another creation crafted by Hwei Jewels but had been collecting dust since it's creation in 1964. The tiara was purchased by Queen Seo-ah at an auction hosted by the company.

Floral Star tiara

Queen Ji-yoo would marry into the family in 1973. At her wedding reception, she wore the Floral Star tiara. The Floral star tiara made it’s debut in 1935 by the Duchess of Tamna, the sister-in-law of then King Do-yun. The tiara made it’s debut at a private gala and only appeared in public a year later at during a state dinner. The diamond based tiara shows a floral arrangement flanked by diamond stars. Some of the smaller diamond’s came from a necklace the Duchess had that broke and needed to be mended, instead she had it broken down. The year after that, two replicate’s of the tiara made their appearance as the Duchess said she wanted to preserve the original. It was three years after her death that the tiara made it’s way into the royal family on a permeant bases as it had been loaned before. Her son, who inherited the tiara fell into debt and it was bought by Prince Chin-hwa along with it’s replicates. Since then, the main tiara has stayed in the family and the replicate’s are often out on loan. The replicate’s were made with a gold and bronze base.

Pearls Peak tiara

Queen Eun-young, the second queen in her own right, married in 1996. For her reception, she wore the Pearls Peak tiara. This tiara made it's first appearance in 1980 but it's rumored that the royals had it even longer. The tiara has scroll elements but the eyes are drawn to the pearl peaks that sit atop the tiara.

Lorne Diamond tiara

The 1st, Duchess of Gyercho Ho-sook married into the family in 1997. This tiara was personally commissioned by the King of Westonbury in the first state visit to Kurai in 1939. Queen Seo-ah then wore it to the state dinner during the visit. They had it commissioned from the Westonbury company, Lorne.

Egg Drop tiara

Sook-bok, 3rd Duchess of Gwasu married into the family in 2004. At her wedding reception, she wore the Egg Drop tiara. The tiara was made in 2002, in Westonbury. The tiara purchased by a then Crown Princess Eun-young on a personal visit to the country that year. Thinking the desgin of the tiara and the unique, the princess quickly brought the tiara.

Crystal Diamond tiara

Hyoyeon, 4th Duchess of Gwasu marred in 2017. She wore the Crystal Diamond tiara. The scroll element tiara, decked out in tiny diamonds was made in 1699. It was the first time over twenty years that the tiara was brought out for show. It had been purchased by a close friend of Queen Bong-cha was left to her when her friend passed.

Pink Tulip tiara

Lastly, we end our current Queen Eun-joo. Eun-joo married in 2023 and wore the Pink Tulip tiara. This tiara is a newer piece in the royal collection. It was purchased from Hwei Jewels in 2013 and made it's debut a year later. The tulip detailed tiara is filled with pink diamonds and romantic imagery. Since it's introduction, it has been a go to favorite and is said to be Queen Eun-joo's most favorite tiara.

And that is all! We've covered the Kingdom of Kurai! Remember to check back as we take a look at the wedding tiara's of various countries!

[itslegribou]

Faire la une (10) : quand l'extrême-droite pète une durite

[vointadivina]

V3.20 Isus s-a născut, oferindu-se ca sacrificiu pentru gloria Tatălui, pentru convertirea păcătoșilor și pentru aceia care i-au fost cei mai credincioși însoțitori în dureri (25 decembrie 1899)

După ce au trecut mai multe zile într-o aproape totală privațiune de unicul și supremul meu Bine, însoțite de o duritate a inimii, fără nici măcar să pot plânge pierderea mea mare, îi ofeream lui Dumnezeu chiar și acea duritate, spunându-i: „Doamne, accept-o ca jertfă; numai Tu poți înmuia această inimă atât de dură”. În sfârșit, după o îndelungată suferință, draga mea Mamă Regină a venit purtând…

[lakemojave]

Tonight at 6pm Pacific: The Direct Actors, A Baldur's Gate 3 "Adventure" pt. 21!!!

After a nice relaxing day at the circus and a HELL of a chat with our divine overlords, the team is ready to hit the pavement and work their way towards Baldur's Gate! Come see @radiofreederry as Dhudlei Durite, Elf paladin, @mayflowers429 and Nana as Leviathan, Dark Urge monk, @caputvulpinum as Micah Harper, Tiefling wizard, and myself as Delilah "Mama D" Harper, Halfling bard!

Character art by @bijillion, recap under the cut!

LAST TIME: After a troubled rest the night before, the day began with Leviathan calling Micah to sit down and talk. What at first began as an admission of his status as Bhaalspawn would turn into a genuine heart-to-heart between the Dragonborn and the tiefling, with the former finally opening up about aspects of his past life as a performer, orphan, and member of the church of Elistriae to the boy. Additionally, Levi pointed out that Micah Harper had been using him as a "human shield" against The Green Knight for the past few days, keeping the lizard between the teenager and the Champion of Ilmater. He offered to continue playing this role, but suggested that the younger Harper be wary of the consequences.

Meanwhile, Mama D was gathering her suspicions about the Green Knight's behaviors, but seeing how much of the group were tired and overworked from a long journey to the Gate, suggested they relax and let loose, enjoying themselves at a circus. While Micah and Dhudlei were initially opposed to the idea, one glimpse of the circus' gates quickly had the former changing his mind, having never known that circuses might incorporate undeath and necromancy to such an extent. Between mummies, the dark arts of cheesemancy, cheating a djinni at his own game, statues of their favorite bard, assorted wonderful performances, and--of course--finally succeeding in preventing the deaths of innocent children at the hands of the Cult of the Absolute--the group reconvened back at camp, with Micah expressing that, for what might have been the first time, having a good day.

However, storm clouds had been brewing on the horizon as Mama D worked with Micah and Leviathan to determine the true cause of The Green Knight's strange behaviors, confirmed on a highly dramatic, cinematic showdown on the rooftops of the camp, with the goddess Shar gloating at her ability to take control of Ilmater's Chosen's body, taunting the rest of The Direct Actors the entire time. With Mama D striking the final blow, Dhudlei Durite remembered his name, purpose, and place in the world, and immediately attempted to apologize for what he had done. Before actually accepting this, Micah prompted Mama D to banish Dhudlei to the realm of Martyrdom so that the paladin could instead confront his god and let everyone begin to soothe the raw edges of everything that happened.

After Dhudlei's return, his subsequent apologies and renewed devotion to his oath, and Lae'zel confronting and swearing off her former god-queen Vlaakith, the party spoke as a group together, affirming to Leviathan that they believed in him and his ability to be a good person in spite of the coiling influence of Bhaal wrapped around him. And after a brief private discussion between Dhudlei and Micah--where they both confirmed that, whatever they each might have felt for each other when this journey began, such feelings had left them--Leviathan had a long, meaningful talk with Mama D about the nature of her impending death, expressing sympathy and concern for her even as she attempted to brush it off. In the end, they both reached a better understanding of each other as friends and companions in their own right, rather than by necessity and circumstance. However, Micah returned from his talk with Dhudlei with frustrations and skepticism, telling Leviathan that while Dhudlei expressed atonement, Micah's own wounds would need more time and effort to heal...

Will the party's camaraderie continue to hold? Will we learn more about Leviathan's past, when he's held it so close to his chest for so long? Will Mama D memento mori? Will Micah Harper ever have another good day? Will Dhudlei be able to mend the rifts his actions have caused? Will the mysterious "Mister Yellow-Eyes" finally be brought to the surface, now that we begin to close the noose around his wayward sister Orin? Find out in another exciting installment of Baldur's Gate 3, starring The Direct Actors!

[eyewearcatherine]

🍘💕Ezitați să alegeți un cadru de fiecare dată? Acest articol vă va ajuta

Vorbind despre Max Pittion, este, de asemenea, un brand legendar. Fondatorul său, Max, a profitat de potențialul celuloidului și s-a transformat dintr-o afacere de fabricare a pieptenilor (celuloidul este, de asemenea, folosit pentru a face piepteni) pentru a deveni unul dintre cei mai buni producători de ochelari, ceea ce a dus la președinția Asociației Producătorilor Francezi de Optică și la crearea Târgului Silmo Eyewear, care este încă cea mai importantă expoziție internațională din industria ochelarilor.

De fapt, Max Pittion se închisese deja în jurul anilor 1970, dar ochelarii săi vintage francezi au devenit un element fierbinte datorită tendinței vintage franceze. Dar, din fericire, la începutul acestui an, Max Pittion a colaborat cu The LIGHT Co. pentru a recrea clasicul imagine:IG@maxpittion

Revenind la rama retro franceză din material celuloid, este foarte greu să nu-i iubești luciul și textura elegantă și translucidă. În același timp, deoarece celuloidul are o duritate și o densitate extrem de bune, multe rame vintage franceze nu au un material de bază introdus în temple, ci folosesc un design mai gros al templului pentru a asigura rezistența, ceea ce evidențiază frumusețea materialului celuloid și creează un sentiment de greutate a cadrului general, care este, de asemenea, o caracteristică majoră a vintage-ului francez.👇👇

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[dimensionsvelo]

Moustache dévoile ses VAE Dimanche 28 Road et Dimanche 29 Gravel

Les VAE Moustache Dimanche 28 Road et Dimanche 29 Gravel connaissent une nouvelle évolution. Nouveaux cadres et implantations différentes de l'assistance pour des vélos toujours plus dynamiques Au centre des VAE Moustache Dimanche 28 Road et Dimanche 29 Gravel il y a le moteur Bosch Performance SX avec son couple de 55 NM, sa puissance maximale de 600 W et sa batterie de 400 Wh. Si les cadres restent en aluminium 6061 T4T6 hydroformé ils ont été entièrement revus pour procurer rigidité et confort grâce à des haubans dessinés pour offrir un léger flex. Il n'y a que le durite avant qui soit en externe. Crédit Moustache Les compteurs Bosch Kiox 300 sont présents sur les Dimanche 28 Road 6 et 4 et les Dimanche 29 Gravel 6 et 4. Crédit Moustache Tout est intégré désormais dans le cadre, sauf la durite avant qui chemine en externe pour rejoindre la fourche. L'implantation du moteur et celle de la batterie sont également modifiées. Read the full article

[steper1]

Kako izgleda kad se oženiš

Ovaj članak je namijenjen za 3 grupacije ljudi.

onima koji misle da im je loše u vezi/braku (ne, nije meni lošije, ne nadaj se)

onima koji se nećkaju o ulasku u brak (ne, neće vam dat odgovor, samo će te osjetit neizmjerno olakšanje)

meni ko podsjetnik jer počesto zaboravljam svašta

Odlučili smo se mi davno na taj korak, zapisano u poglavlju "Špilja", ali Lu nije odobravala dijeljenje mog bića s nekim, a pošto se stara baba neda, nema više čekanja. To je samo djelomično istina (90%), zapravo stalno nešto u životu, ko nas zna onda i zna o čemu se radi, a vas ostalih se ne tiče. Ovaj nježni senzibilitet je rezultat stalnog Dubravkinog naglašavanja da poboljšam svoje socijalne vještine. Rezultat je opipljiv. Al vi bar znate da sam normalan. Krajem prošle godine odredili smo datum svadbe (čim prije). Svi su govorili iza leđa "sigurno je trudna". Ja ipak mislim da je to samo malo od Božića i brzo prođe. Obzirom smo u to vrijeme još ful bili u adaptaciji stana, a to je psihofizički napor u rangu gledanja hrvatskog dramskog programa, tako smo odlučili da se ja bavim adaptacijom, a Dubravka organizacijom svadbe. A za potonje organizirati u tako kratkom vremenu potrebne su silne organizacijske vještine koje srećom Dubravka posjeduje. Vidiš kako te hvalim srećice, sad se možeš prestat durit što sam na tebe prebacio i stolara s kojim sam se umalo potuko. Zbog toga što je oboje bilo na tebi, sad imaš kuhinju kakvu si željela, znam divan sam. Svadbu smo stavili u Šibenik, pošto Dubravka ima rodbine za kolonizirat udaljene planete, dok s moje strane su obično stali nakon prvog bračnog sexa (eto pokušali smo). Prstenje smo izabrali u mislim 4 minute. Otišli u zlataru gdje sam kupio zaručnički prsten, jer popust je misao vodilja nakon zlog stolara. Pomoglo je i što se vlasnik zlatare zove kao i ja. Pošto sam govorio da neću nosit prsten jer nikad nisam, slomila me tako što je rekla da ih ja izaberem. Nakon 4 minute, odabrao sam. Jedine koji su ličili na onaj iz Gospodara prstenova. Ima rune i svašta po sebi. Dubravkin glasni uzdah bio je potvrda da znam odabrati i nakit. Bog me za svašta stvorio, a kad smo već kod dotičnog, moram reć da sam zaglavio kod svećenika. Pošto je bila crkvena svadba, trebalo je pripremit 50-tak dokumenata jer svećenik iz njene župe je vjerojatno prije te karijere radio u nekoj državnoj administraciji i najčešće što smo čuli od njega bile su 2 rečenice:

Fali vam … papir

Zašto … papir nije ovjeren kod …

Nakon petodnevnog bračnog predavanja (preporučam svakako doći treći dan kad je tema: njene bračne dužnosti) bio sam ohrabren koliko sam spreman za brak tj. koliko toga sam znao. Ok mi smo bili 30 godina stariji od drugog najstarijeg para, ali ova balavurdija ima Tiktok i Youtube, a mi smo imali Zagora, a taj je pak imao Čika. Nije da nam je olakšalo. Nakon što smo skupili svih 57 priznanica i dokumenata, morali smo na individualni razgovor kod svećenika u Zagrebu. Znao sam da će tu bit problema, jer čovjek je fakat izgledao kao da vuče traume iz Vijetnama. Došao i taj dan, ja smršavio 3 kila, Dubravka ko leptirić, ide redovno na misu. Ja redovno samo do Mlinara. Ona ušla prva i izašla nakon 3 minute. Kolko sam ja bio? 43 minute. Doslovno se promijenilo vrijeme dok sam izašao. Bio sam mu sumnjiv. Bio sam davno i kratko u braku, na misi bio triput. Kad je tetka Ivka umrla, na nekom krštenju i kad sam obilazio Šibensku katedralu. Nakon 40-minutnog ispitivanja svega i svačeg, pitao me svećenik zašto sam se rastao. To pitanje u biti postavlja i svaka cura da sazna di si zajebao kod bivše i da vidi oće li ti dat šansu. Ja ga gledam, pa njegov ured koji je btw bio prepun prašine i paučine. Pa vidim raspelo na stolu prepuno paučine. Reko, bio sam neuredan pa nije išlo. Nakon toga samo sam čuo zvuk pečata, APPROVED! Izlazim van, Dubravka na kiši koju nije ni primjetila….di si do sad, što je bilo, jesi prošao?? Bijah blijed u licu, ali samo sam rekao, našli smo zajedničku točku. Sve smo skupili, psa sprašili u pseći hotel i otišli u Šibenik. Dubravka je otišla svojima, a ja sam rentao apartman koji se nalazio 30 metara od svadbene sale, koja se nalazila 30 metara od svadbene katedrale. Svadbeni bermudski trokut. Srećom u njemu nitko nije nestao…osim našeg fotografa. Onima kojima nisam drag, preporućio bih vam ga. Lik je prije 20 godina otišao u penziju, ispričao nam je sve dogodovštine iz rata (nisam jedino siguran kojeg) i što je najbolje više puta je naglasio kako ne voli slikat ljude ni svadbe. Al eto bio je jedini ispod 1500 eura. Slike koje smo do sada ikome pokazali su bile slikane mobitelima. Njegove su bile takve da je čovjek volio slikat odozdo do najdalje vrata, a odozgo više manje isto dotle. Našao sam jednu koja je ok, nije ni ta centrirana al nešto moram stavit.

Ima jedna nama posebna slika. Trenutak kako izlazimo iz crkve ushićeni, svježe vjenčani, padaju latice po nama, viori se zastava, gitare oko nas i razdragano mnoštvo. A gdje se nalazi naš fotograf? Evo ga naguženog kako namješta aparat (a to je radio većinu vremena). Dotle je pričao svoj ratni put na Somi.

Preskočio sam sada par vrijednih detalja. Moji su kasnili na slikanje prije svadbe, a i na samu svadbu, pa je sve kasnilo dobrih 20 minuta. Al ajde imali su dobar razlog. Vidili se sa starim znancem koji živi u Šibeniku pa se zarakijali. U toj žurbi valjda ili kao kritiku mog izbora mlade, ne znam, ali mama mi je pregazila zaručnicu. Slučajno. Dvaput. U kolicima je, a mama je brz vozač, a Dubravkina vjenčanica preduga. Ja sliježem ramenima i govorim Dubravki, "a malo nas je al nas ima". Kume su obje bile dalmatinke i to je bio pun pogodak. Ako vam treba kuma, a ne stolar, mogu vam pomoć. Dalmatinke su bile kao osiguranje da neću pomislit uteć. S njima nemoš li-la. Svećenik don Krešo je bio odličan. Hvala mu što me pustio nakon naših razgovora i nakon što sam mu priznao da mi je posljednja ispovjed bila 1987. godine. Ali skužio je da smo vršnjaci i da mi nema pomoći ako se sad ne oženim. Nadao sam se da me neće pitat to za ispovjed, ali to mu je bilo prvo pitanje…nevjerojatno kako svećenici odma znaju što pitat.

don Krešo: kad ti je bila zadnja ispovjed? ja: davno don Krešo: kolko davno? ja: jako davno don krešo: pa koliko je to? ja: puno don Krešo: *maše raspelom ja: 1987. godine don Krešo: *baca raspelo

Ma nije, imali smo sreće. A i nije se ljutio na misi što smo prejako zavezali prstenje za jastučić pa ih nije mogao izvući. Pomogli smo. Prvo Dubravka…pa ja…pa kume…

Nakon svadbe smo imali problem kako složit svadbenu povorku, obzirom je bila veća od 30 metara kolko je bio udaljen restoran. Srećom, naš veteran iz 1. svjetskog rata, naš fotograf, došao je do odličnog rješenja i to još ovjekovječio videom. Stavio nas je da idemo u krug, i nakon par krugova da produžimo do restorana. Naš izraz lica bio je apsolutno legendaran. Mješavina nevjerice, zbunjenosti i rezignacije. Na kraju smo se smijali tome, ali u biti nam se zavrtilo od krugova pa smo se odma uhvatili prve čaše da dođemo sebi. Ali sjetio sam se da je to u biti neki krscanski ritual jer tako je Mojsije svoje vodao u krug 40 godina nekih 30 kilometara. Ovo je bio homage Mojsiju.

Svirka nam je bila baš za 10, zapravo za 100, baš kao i hrana. Dubravkina sestra Zrinka, duša od žene, bok Seko, uzela je tjedan godišnjeg i napravila kolača i torti za 200 uzvanika, a bilo nas je 4 puta manje. Disclaimer: nisam ulizica. Tako da je sve bilo mrak. Čak sam i na prvom plesu izgledao kao da znam plesat. Bar dok nisam vidio video. Tamo negdje nakon što su svi popili, a pred tortu, održao sam govor. Pričao sam dogodovštine koje sam imao sa svećenicima, kako sam upoznao Dubravku na trčanju i naravno iskoristio priliku da se pred mnoštvom pohvalim kako sam 2 tjedna ranije istrčao maraton. Ako ti tad neće pljeskat, kad će?

Za bračno putovanje otišli smo u Dubrovnik. Tamo nas je dočekao potop kao iz Noine arke, tako da smo sada napravili homage Noi. Bok Noa. Zapravo kad razmislim, ovo je Biblijsko putovanje. Obzirom smo fino pokisli, otišli smo u prvi restoran di su nas iznova oženili. Konobar mi donio ručak koji je izgledao ko pred doručak. Gledao sam neutješno u 6 raviola koje sam platio 24 eura. 4 eura po raviolu. Vratio sam se u hotel gladan i bolestan. Slijedeći dan dobio sam visoku temperaturu, tako da sam odma provjerio 2 dana nakon svadbe onaj dio "u dobru i zlu". Zašto čekat.

2. dan medenog mjeseca

Kada smo se vratili u Zagreb, pokupili Lu (17-godišnji maltezer). Dan nakon završila je na operaciji. Sad ju evo već tjedan dana dadiljamo. Naizmjence spavamo na kauču uz nju i sve drugo stavili po strani. I onda skužili. Mala beštija nas je uspjela razdvojit u bračnoj postelji.

Ali usprkos svemu, kad imaš svog wingmana, svi problemi su manji, a uspjesi veći. (više se ne ljutiš za stolara jelda?)