#during the massacre of the city alpha trion retrieved optimus's corpse

[transformersbrainrot]

Oh look, it's that Orion/Optimus religious trauma post I was talking about the other day

DISCLAIMER: ALL THIS IS ABOUT THE CONTINUITY THAT EXISTS PURELY IN MY HEAD, BUT THERE AREN'T TOO MANY SWINGS BIG ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU LOST. HOPEFULLY, JUST GO WITH IT, AND YOU SHOULD BE FINE. ALSO, EVERYTHING WRITTEN HERE IS WRITTEN FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF OPTIMUS. IT'S NOT NECESSARILY AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF REALITY.

So this is sort of a semi-sequel post to the MegOp No Children post I made a few days ago because, once again, an angst song that was popular in fandom spaces a few years ago is only reaching me and making me crazy now. I'm late to the Saint Bernard party, but whatever, here we go:

Orion Pax: the first worthy Matrix bearer since the Golden Age and newly christened Optimus Prime. Orion was never one to believe in the myths surrounding the Matrix. Sentinel Prime was basically a father to him, and in all their time together, the power that came from having that artifact was political. It was certainly a powerful symbol, but communing with past wielders? Empowering those who held it in their chest? Alpha Trion had always reminded Orion that there was always truth at the heart of legends, but surely the more fantastical parts of those stories weren't what he meant. Those were just hyperbole creeping in as Cybertron's past leaders faded into history and became mythologized. And yet here he was, practically twice his old height, recovering from wounds that should be fatal, and with all these new voices in his head.

Hung pictures of patron saints up on my wall To remind me that I am a fool Tell me where I came from, what I will always be: Just a spoiled little kid who went to Catholic school

When a worthy Cybertronian takes on the Matrix of Leadership, it creates a link to all the wisdom held within it: that of all previous Matrix Bearers and of The Thirteen. Usually, it's a blessing. It's supposed to be a blessing. Instant counsel with some of history's most outstanding leaders, warriors, and philosophers? Most people would kill for something like that, but for Optimus Prime, it was nothing but a constant reminder of what he isn't. He and his Autobots claim to fight for freedom and a better tomorrow but look who he was up against. An Iaconian elite, given all the opportunity and education anyone could ask for, against a miner-turned-gladiator who was never given anything? Wasn't this the same as it always was?

When I am dead, I won't join their ranks 'Cause they are both holy and free And I'm in Ohio, satanic and chained up And until the end, that's how it'll be

No matter how the Matrix judges him, Optimus can't bring himself to believe he is a pure and worthy spark. Those who now reside in the Matrix are written about in history books because their thoughts and actions made Cybertron better than it was without them. And what's Optimus brought upon Cybertron? An inescapable war that's tearing the people and the planet apart? There's no way history will remember Optimus Prime as anything but a warmonger.

I said "Make me love myself, so that I might love you" Don't make me a liar, 'cause I swear to God When I said it, I thought it was true

How is Optimus supposed to live up to the title that's been thrust upon him—that of a leader who loves and cares for his people when he doesn't even love and care for himself. Not after he was betrayed by his... By Megatron. And after he betrayed him back. It feels like an eternity ago, but somehow, when Sentinel had admitted that he hoped Orion would be the person to succeed him as Prime, and he accepted, Orion thought he would be ready when the time came. This is not what he thought it would feel like.

Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you But he's got his own things to deal with There's really just one thing that we have in common: Neither of us will be missed

When Orion and Megatronus first became close, Sentinel said that Orion was wasting his time. Sentinel never saw what Orion did in that gladiator, but look where that landed him. Now, he's dead at the hands of the very person he dismissed so long ago. The two new leaders of Cybertron are so very different. But, in the end, they're both spurring on this war, and they're both damned for it.

Saint Bernard sits at the top of the driveway You always said how you loved dogs I don't know if I count, but I'm trying my best When I'm howling and barking these songs

Even if Sentinel's spark doesn't reside within the Matrix, his memory sits at the front of Optimus's thoughts—almost as prominently as Megatronus. Sentinel's vision for Orion was of someone who upheld the same system he did. Optimus certainly isn't doing that. But, despite how dark the depths of Sentinel's worldview turned out to be, Optimus is not a new person. Deep down, he's still Orion Pax, and he can't bring himself to hate the Prime who did so much to create the man he is today. Maybe somewhere, the part of Sentinel Orion thought he knew was real. Maybe that part of him, however small, can understand the kind of world Optimus Prime is trying to create...