#during a mega boring lecture haha

[stingslikeabee]

to: Melissa from: mvheideggerGA@//shinramail.com subject: Nope.

Melissa, could you do me a favour and pretend I'm not here? Silly, I know, but Palmer has insisted I be his wingman at the Christmas Party later tonight and I think my best approach is to avoid and evade. I've told him several times I have no interest in - in his words - 'getting him a lady' but the man is persistent. Like a bug. Or a disease.

If he comes on to you, there's mace in your drawer. Or your can call me - I guess I don't mind laying him out (haha!)

Will you be attending tonight? I'll be in costume as Santa Claus, so if there's anything you'd like - you can be the first one across my lap. :-)

Magnar Valerio Heidegger, GA. Head of Public Safety

( immediately after, another email comes through - this one hastily written )

to: Melissa from: mvheideggerGA@//shinramail.com subject: Nope(2)

hahaha, please delete that last email! the last bit was a typo, I spilled coffee on my keyboard. Whoops. Happens to the best of us. Haha, sorry :-D

Magnar Valerio Heidegger, GA. Head of Public Safety

unscripted asks . always accepting

The sound of keys being rapidly pressed was halted as soon as a notification appeared on Melissa’s screen at the bottom right corner - a new e-mail, and one from her boss at that. The secretary always prioritized his communications over others, and stopped working on the requests she had been including in the system for some additional materia orbs to be supplied for 3rd Class SOLDIERS, as well as an authorization for deployment of certain bots under the plate.

The brunette frowned at the title of the message, though - clicking to open and read the entire thing, Melissa soon enough was smirking at the screen. Pretending her own boss wasn’t in was a work of art she had perfected early on - his wife paid a visit and Heidegger had asked her (in no uncertain terms) to keep her from his own office at any cost. 

Well - she had delivered. Threats to call security were involved but it was one of the secretary’s best memories from work; the look on the other woman’s face was rather priceless - she sounded like a horrible, condescending bitch who had gotten away with disrespectful behavior for too long while being just a guest at Shinra Building, in Melissa’s opinion.

But returning to the e-mail, the secretary hummed softly at the idea of Palmer needing his assistance. Melissa could understand the need to hide - punching a co-worker and also a director (albeit of a defunct department that existed mostly for decorative purposes) couldn’t be seen well internally; even the general had limitations to what his power within the company could accom-

...And then she got to the last bit of the e-mail.

The Shinra Christmas Party was something of a legend among employees; a chance for the normal, regular working men and women of the company to experience the glory of working for the most important corporation of all of Midgar. Melissa knew about his costume - but the idea of sitting on his lap and asking for a gift was...

...Actually pretty perfect, considering everything that happened between them inside a broken lift not long ago. The follow-up e-mail was clearly an excuse, but the woman found herself leaning forward, chin in hand and pondering her next step. Well - a good secretary would abide by her boss’ wishes and delete the e-mail which had been ‘accidentally’ sent, but nonetheless carry on with the original idea in relation to Palmer and his wingman necessities.

Inhaling deeply, the woman stretched her neck and looked at the overall direction of Heidegger’s office - not a sound or signal of movement came from that area; it was as if the man had been indeed out, as his e-mail had suggested. Well, Melissa knew what she needed to do - and what she wanted to do. Unfortunately, the two did not precisely overlap.

Her final choice was a compromise - half pretense and half truth; after all, this was a corporate e-mail account, and everything they wrote could be monitored and screened by the IT team. Smirking, the woman clicked on the ‘reply’ button to the second e-mail, and typed her response to Heidegger:

to: Heidegger, M.V. (GA); from: mjdrysdell@shinramail.com; subject: Re: Nope(2)

General,

Consider your original request re. Director Palmer done; rest assured that I would not hesitate to ask for assistance if anything terrible happened as a result. I’m hoping your (very considerate) precautions will not be necessary! On a separate note: do let me know if you need a replacement keyboard after the coffee incident - I’m happy to reach out to the IT team on your behalf.

In relation to tonight’s festivities, sir, I was hoping the previous invitation would remain open? I picked your costume from the dry cleaner’s early this week so the secret was spoiled - in order to ensure I’d be in the best place to continue to offer you the appropriate assistance, I took the liberty of procuring a suitable attire.

The store did have a lovely red dress for a Santa’s Helper, and they made sure the colors would be matching down to the last detail. I did promise to be the best assistant this department ever had and it felt like not showing up to the party in character would tarnish my record. If you are already taking requests for gifts this year, sir, would you perhaps consider re-issuing the invitation to join you upstairs later tonight?

I’m looking forward to the celebrations!

Kind regards,

Melissa J. Drysdell | P.A. to Magnar Valerio Heidegger, GA Public Safety Department Shinra Company, Midgar

[askroahmmythril]

Also i remember you usually played Mega Man using a keyboard and well do you actually prefer playing Mega Man games or any retro games or well games in general using a keyboard or controller? myself i have played mega man with using a keyboard before and while i can kinda do it i really suck at it compared to using a controller haha XD atleast your amazing playing Mega Man games with a keyboard ^^

I don’t know that I have a preference per se, I’m just decent at using either I suppose.  I got used to playing emulators with keyboard during boring lectures at Full Sail, I’d play on my laptop and just kind of learn at my own pace.  Usually classes where the instructors spent more time self-aggrandizing than actually teaching what they were supposed to be teaching ;P

[mnovenia]

A GLIMPSE OF HEAVEN 

When was the last time you feel like butterflies are flying inside your stomach? When was the last time you realize that you are valueble, you accomplish something great, you belong somewhere? How do you feel when you know that you are ACCEPTED?

March 22nd, 2017 - The Day I Will Never Forget, I received an email:

Dear Marshella,

thank you for you application for the MIBM programme at Hanze UAS! We have checked your application file and we are pleased to inform you that you can be fully accepted. You will receive the letter of acceptance shortly, 

We look forward to welcoming you to Hanze UAS coming September!

You can prepare your StuNed application, please let us know if you need any documents for it.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Kind regards, Ekaterina Gurchenkova Enrolment Officer Master Programmes Member of the Admissions Committee Hanze University of Applied Sciences, Groningen Mobile/WhatsApp: +31 6 519 549 62 International Business School www.hanze.nl/ibs

After a long time waiting for something like this to happen, God finally reveal His direction for me. The first attempt to pursue a higher level of education was already popped up a long time ago. When I was an undergrad student, I went to see my professor for finalizing my thesis. His name is Prof. John JOI Ihallaw. He’s kind hearted, professional, heart-warming and respectful to everyone, simply the one that students look up to. He told me about his experience of getting a degree from a reputable university in the US, through a scholarship programme by President Suharto. It’s still vivid in my mind, right in his room, building F, morning time, I promise myself, one day I will also tell my story to people that God also enable me to go and pursue a higher education abroad. Not only Prof JOI, my favorite lecture Pak Radit also shared his story of him being granted a scholarship to pursue his education in Canada.

I have no idea how to turn that promise into reality, where should I look, who can help me, and so on.. Graduating from undergrad study, I tend to look for a job so I don’t need to depend on my parent’s monthly allowance anymore. I applied to go to Singapore, it’s failed and cost a lot of money. So I continue to work, while sending my friends one by one to the airport, because they got to go to London, Birmingham, Shanghai, etc to pursue a higher education.

I wish I could join them, but I burried all the envious feeling and jealousy deep in my heart, I just didn’t want to add more burden to my parents, it was all just seemed impossible, and so I just want to be independent at the first place. 

2013, my mother changed her job to a company in which the boss said he wanted to support my mom to send her children to go abroad for study. I was so excited, I was looking for so many school options and trying to apply. I finally being brave to tell few people that I actually have a deep longing to go back to school. But then, few months later, my family experienced the hardest time of our life. My mom lost her job, we sell most of our belongings, I got to sell my saving in a form of gold in order to pay my mom’s debt because she didn’t even receive her last salary. Looking for a high paid job for my mom’s age was not easy at all. Even after she found a new job, it was hard for her, she was very sick then we figured out that she had cancer. And we can’t save her..

Me and the whole family was hit to the very core bottom during those year. Never in my mind to stop and thinking about my dreams, it was all shattered. All I was thinking w just how to continue this life, without the anchor of my family, how to adjust my life by being a mom to my brother, a care taker for my father, self comforter by preaching to myself that it’s all gonna be okay, and life goes on. On the other side, this situation also force me to work harder because now I’m not only responsible to my own self, but I also have to support my longtime jobless father and newbie employee brother at that time. 

Going through all these reminds me that God is the only provider of all things exist in this world, He takes and gives away. According to His plan. 

Juggling through family problems, financial resource, health issues, church, ministry, social life and responsibility somehow made me feel lonely in this road. Like literally. While a Godly man sent by God is still somewhere in the corner, these routines bore me somehow.

Changing job doesn’t seem inviting, until January 2016, on a church retreat, God opened my eyes. I met lots of great people, they’re open minded, confident, and so put together. I look up to them, a lot, most of them are graduated from various reputable universities. At that time I was wearing a hoodie, given by Michelle, stated: “Penn State University”. Everytime she’s going home, if she asked what I want her to bring, I always said something small from university that you happen to visit. Simply because those things are what I value the most. I always wanted to wear one of those things as if I’m an alumni, yet I’m not. But when I wore it, two persons slap me on the face. One said: ‘Hmm, Penn State? Did you go there?’ (i’m ok with him since he’s a foreigner and probably just want open up a conversation), second one said: ‘whose hoodie are you wearing?’ (I was so embarrassed, she looked down to me and I know, because nobody ever thought I’d ever be able to be an alumni of such reputable university, simply because I didn’t get a chance to study overseas like them). Never mind, ignore my over sensitive pride and anger.

Anyway long short story, I knew this one guy was graduated from HU, he’s so kind, well behaved, smart and just basically adorable. Deep in my heart I always want to be compatible to talk to someone like him. Till I read his blog and it renewed my faith, there is still a man like this in this strange world. He came from a usual family but he’s faithful to God and he’s given open door to study all over the world with tons of achievements. For me it’s like: I want to grow up like him. 

I started to remember again about my childhood dreams and convicted that it’s not too late to start living up that dreams again, one of those is to study overseas. How? Thankful for opportunities and scholarships available in my country, and when I look back? My educational background is not bad at all. So first step that I did is taking TOEFL test. I was rushing because I wanted to follow LPDP’s timeline. I studied in between work (mostly I spent few hours after work at office) ministry at church, arranging different events, and so on then I managed to take the test on March 2016.

In between of family drama that cause me to sell my investment (gold) to cover my family’s fraud, and using my coworker’s credit card to pay for the test (thanks Tjung Mega). It was a great time to spent at home, with my father, without internet, away from my routine, and being treated like little girl again. And when I took the test at Vista Bandung, it feels so awesome. I met plenty of people from all over places, taking test for the sake of pursuing their dreams, and I feel so very accomplished because simple I DID IT, after a long hours of enduring the study, stress, worry and fear but well, thank God for the opportunity, I was like don’t mind at all to sell my belongings for taking TOEFL test :’)

I was waiting till I decided which school should I register, my hope LDPD was gone, I couldn’t make it on schedule. Then I interacted with a Alfan Rezani which I know from Indonesia Mengglobal. I was hesitate but his email reply after reply somehow give me hope. When the time was due, I hesitate still to send my application. I remember that christmas/new year time at Michelle’s house, I was so confused, stressed, under pressured and have no peace at all. One thing I know of, I didn’t pray for this matter because I was afraid that this was just a selfish desire. So basically that shows how I rely on my own strength.

And then I found out for the first time that I can’t bear any longer. All the pressure I put to myself, about my future school, relationship with Sam and different expectations, caused me being hospitalized for the first time in my life.

After I went out of the hospital, I dare myself to just submit my halfway school application to Aarhus University, simply because I received a deadline reminder. Then I watched Lalaland movie that made me so proud because I dared myself to submit an application, finally, one very small step but yet I found it was brave enough HAHA. Behind the story: of course I wouldn’t be able to pay the app fee which cost me around 70 euro and so I asked my coworker’s credit card again (thanks Juned), and promise him to pay in installment for 3 months. I was waiting, hoping for any answer from AU then finally an email came and they asked me for course description of my previous study. With another drama, it was so hard to get the document from my old uni, that cause another headache (thanks Nongky for all the help). After I submitted the additional document, I didn’t reallyy remember what’s going on. Suddenly it’s a day after my birthday. I was still celebrating myself here and there, and on March 2nd, 2017 I opened an email from Aarhus University: (my heart was pounding like crazy, I said God, this email can either change my life because I get to go to Denmark or the opposite) and it said:

Application to Economics and Business Administration - International Economic Consulting, summer intake rejected due to lack of qualifications

I couldn’t remember how I handle the feeling In my life, I didn’t receive many rejections. Applying for jobs, schools, even to be friend with someone, I was mostly got accepted. I processed this rejection in a poor way. I was just trying to be strong, tell myself that it’s ok, the world is still going round, I tried so hard to not see God as a bad provider, and of course, I didn’t tell anyone about it.

Trying to handle that myself caused me a bad bad anxiety problem, I got so insecured, I lost my confidence and kind of lack of appettite to do anything. Different celebrations that people made for my birthday didn’t even help, until poured this to Michelle and she prayed for me she listened to me and cooked for me. She’s truly a God-sent friend.

March 12, 2017

It’s a day after my mom’s birthday, she supposed to turn 57 if she’s still alive.

I was at my bedroom on Saturday night. I was tempted to watch something bad but turned out that I saw a scholarship page from Nuffic Neso, about Stuned, Orang Tulip Scholarship, NFP, etc. I was interested because it hasn’t due, I mean, I still have time to apply. I scroll back and forth, I asked God which one which one, I downloaded few brochures from different uni, until I don’t know why I register to Hanze University of Applied Sciences (the possible due date maybe is the reasone why). And: DANG, it’s due in a week after I accidentally registered myself. 

Dear Marshella, We thank you for applying for one of the study programmes offered by Hanze University of Applied Sciences, Groningen (Hanze UAS). Hanze UAS has assigned you the Student number 373079. Please mention this number when communicating with Hanze UAS, so we are able to assist you better. I knew that I have to submit my full application before March 19th, which I know I’ll be away to my hometown for my bestfriend’s bridalshower. I was like why God why that date, I knew I would be so busy preparing everything, but it means I have to submit before March 17th because I can’t do that from Bandung.

Of course with a touch of Michelle’s help I managed to submit online, I was ready to pay for another application fee charge, I was just don’t care because I see an open door, I have peace in my heart and I know God was alongside me and make the universe conspires to help me. The last thing I have to do is to click ‘submit your application’, and then THAT’s ALL. Hanze UoA didn’t ask for application fee, PRAISE PRAISE to the almighty God.

Around 5 days after I submit, I was at my office and doing regular email check then I found that Hanze UoA has accepting me as one of their student!! I shared the news with my LCG Amel, Michelle, Nongky, Juni and Ci Sisca.

Then I thought, what now? I just need to figure out how to pay and what kind of scholarship I can apply. In the midst of so many things, I managed to apply to Stuned (a bit tight, again because it’s due before my long-awaited trip to Coldplay concert in Singapore). Again Michelle help me and Juni gave me her cousin’s contact to help me for my application. I asked Cheri, Kara who went through the same situation. It enhances my knowledge but still I didn’t know what to expect, I am afraid if I put too much expectations, but I don’t want to be hopeless and not trusting God for this matter. 

To be honest, I doubt myself too, there are so many greater people out there that deserve this scholarship. But it also hurts to think of ‘why not me’, is it because I am half chinese? My life is not miserable enough? My so-so job? And many other things that can hinder me to believe that I deserve a scholarship, to be able to find fund for my master degree, to trust that if God gave me this desire and He doesn’t just give to take it away again. But one thing I’m sure of, if He wants me to go, He will make a way, and He will open the door no matter how people and even myself won’t :)

Jeremiah 29:11-14  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord,

Amsal 23: 18  Karena masa depan sungguh ada,dan harapanmu tidak akan hilang.