#dumbass kurt is dumbass

[decaf-mother]

God, one of my biggest kinks has got to be: Guy who has no idea what the FUCK is going on but is trying his best.

[thosefuzzywordfeelings]

more thoughts that are stemming from upcoming mini fic.

kurt kunkle filming everything you guys do together. he’s stuttering because you’re doing some kind of clothes haul for your own channel and you’re twirling around in these skirts, floral dresses and all round just looking like a ray of sunshine. he’s got his camera pointed at you but his eyes aren’t on the viewfinder, they’re on you.

‘and they just - they look like that. all the time. all sunny and pretty and you see the way the flowers are all over the dress, well, that’s what it’s like being around them. all flowery and pretty.”

or you’re doing some kind of viral trend like the boyfriend does my makeup and he’s useless. he pokes you in the eye multiple times with the mascara wand, and he’s kissing your eye immediately.

“oh now, baby i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to get your - okay well maybe it looks nice smudged down your face, you’re so pretty anyway, and now i can taste mascara, 10 out of 10 for the flavour of this thing at least.” just rambling on.

soft kurt kunkle is adorable.

[melanieexox]

*Ashton & Mila defend Danny*

*Debra Jo and Kurt defend Danny*

[ptsdickgrayson]

Can truscum shut the fuck up for ONE SECOND and stop projecting their misery and self hatred onto everyone? Like I’m not even sorry that they’re unhappy cuz they’re just so downright hateful and pathetic. They see other transgender ppl happy w themselves and lose their shit. Imagine being that insecure.. couldn’t be me 🤦‍♂️

[dariasonlinedairy]

it is 4 am in the morning and i literally cannot stop thinking about him WHY DOES HE HAS TO BE SO CUTE URHEHDHSHHHGHFHH canr wait to message him on the NYE I'm literally shaking from how much butterflies i get from thinking of him and i should probably go to sleep 💔💔

[kurthorton-moving]

missing the society hours

[ourladyoftheflytrap]

Cognitive dissonance where I don't support the 2nd 🇺🇲 ammendment but I Do want to own a gun. do I want an illegal gun?

[geffenrecords]

i cant ever get mad abt ppl who are annoying about liking courtney love if i liked her id have a complex about it too probabaly

[octuscle]

My professor gave me a zero on my essay for no reason! I did the work! When I asked him why he said that it was because I was a jock and jocks always fail his class. It’s time for payback!

Seriously, what do you expect from a professor of German studies named Dr. Kurt-Heinrich Schulte Obermeier? He's a Westphalian lateral thinker with Prussian discipline oozing from his every pore. Immaculate hairstyle, perfectly fitting suits, first-class pressed shirts. Handkerchief and tie always coordinated with great taste. A luminary in matters of German post-war literature. And an asshole as a professor.

I am a natural scientist. Sort of. According to my self-image as a support staff member. I'm of the opinion that the world isn't a worse place with one less Germanist in it. If he spends his time on meaningful things instead of Günther Grass.

When he wakes up the next morning, he feels fresh and rested. Dr. Kurt Obermeier is one of the youngest research assistants to have ever worked at your university. He is cool. He knows he's clever. But he's a good tutor and even if he's always dressed a bit stuffy, you can have fun with him. Rather atypical for a German studies student, you can even meet him in the sports bar in the evening. When the German soccer league is on.

Curt Meier is a WASP like no other. Although half of him is not Anglo-Saxon but German. That's why he decided to study business administration and German studies. Out of pure interest. He doesn't need to earn any money anyway, he lives off his parents' money. And he lives off the occasional modeling job. Curt is New England incarnate. Cultured, educated. And in his beauty, he is unfortunately also a little boring. But what do you expect from someone who plays cricket?

Yo, dude! Check it out, this Curtis Meyers guy, man, he's like, totally not fitting in at the uni, you know? Button-down shirts? Rugby shirts? That ain't his vibe at all. He's all about football jerseys, bro. But honestly, he only throws those on when he has to. In German studies? Forget about it. The professor thinks he's gotta dress fancy? Ridiculous, man! If they kicked him out for that, he'd be damn happy. He only picked this damn major 'cause he thought it was gonna be all about Thor and Wotan and all those badass demigods, you feel me? They're awesome. But Rilke and Heine? Hell no. And their language, man! Who the hell came up with that? Must've had a sunstroke that day, dude. Oh, and what's up with the sun? Time to link up with the boys and toss some balls on the field...

Mike Curtis hated university, man. Those snobby dudes there were just dumbasses and annoying as hell. Too dumb to take out the trash properly. Too lazy to clean up their own mess. Keeping the campus clean was a crappy job. He especially hated that German Studies building. Full of stuck-up know-it-alls. All a bunch of weaklings. Supposedly Mike had some German great-grandfather or something. What a load of crap! What kind of dumbass has two last names? Anyway, Mike supposedly got his German looks from him. Also bullshit! That was all sweat and hard work in the gym. Mike didn't inherit nothing. He earned everything he got. And he was damn proud of it!

Mike is not a jock in the strict sense of the word. But certainly more than Professor Dr. Schulte Obermeier. I don't think you have anything more to fear from him, Bro. As long as you separate the garbage properly.

[decaf-mother]

Congratulations! You've been girlfriended.

[receivedhope]

i forgor to say this earlier in my animal post but i also think some blaine songs are inappropriate because they seem to capture more how KURT feels at that moment ABOUT blaine, but because blaine is singing it, it feels like hes making fun of him. just evil.

some examples:

dont you want me in biota with rachel. lingering the shot on kurt while blaine is singing “dont you want me” just after he made out with his frenemy. you will go to hell blaine anderson. fuck this guy!

why would he do this?

misery in original song. youre doing this on purpose. the only one in misery is kurt and youre laughing. there aint nobody who can comfort him and youre LAUGHING.

animal in sexy. your ass is not feeling hopeless about a one sided crush you cant seem to figure out if you should act on it or not. you sing “i wont sleep tonight” because you will be jorking your peanits. kurt is singing it because he will be agonizing about your dumbass.

FUCK THIS GUY‼️

[ret-is-ready]

Chansaw AUs!

First one is a royalty AU where Veronica (Verrin) has to pose as a lord to save “his” family name, and Heather doesn’t like men so it works out perfectly for them in secret.

Second one is kind of a western AU? Veronica is a cowhand traveling the west, and stops in a town where Heather is trying to escape a marriage to a dumbass (probs Kurt or Ram).

[ptsdickgrayson]

So funny how ppl will call bisexual women straight for liking men like do u not know the definition of bisexuality? Lol

[where-they-raised-me]

Okay now that I’ve been angry mildly annoyed by it for a while now I may as well say it: I’m almost certain that defendingts/swiftneutral/socialistay/whoeverthefuck person is being an asshat on purpose as a distraction

I’ve had my fair share of persistent Swifties to deal with on this app so far, don’t get it twisted. So maybe that’s where my expertise comes from when I observe this person’s behaviour, and I notice something…. Off. I’ve had Swifties make alt accounts to continue bothering me after I block them, and I’ve been put on a good Burn Book post or two, but not too often do they make an alt account and then reblog posts I don’t mention their name in to go “LOOK GUYS!!! THIS PERSON CALLED SOMEONE A DUMMY BUT THE DUMMY WAS ACTUALLY MEEEEEEE!!!”

That’s just… an unheard of amount of logic hoops. “I’m gonna cry that people are harassing me but then reblog their posts and not block them so they know exactly who they can send anon asks to and continue to interact with!! Look at me!!”

DTS is a distraction in the same way the Swifties allegedly defacing a Kurt Cobain memorial was. Any attention grabbing story that turns the focus to Swifties being bigoted dumbasses instead of what we ACTUALLY criticize TS for is a win in their book. I mean, look at the state of the anti TS tag currently: half the posts are about DTS and the racist shit they’re saying about Kendrick/his fans (because you can’t criticize a white female celebrity and be a fan of a black male rapper that was literally ON ONE OF HER SONGS simultaneously, apparently 🤨). Because that’s what people like this WANT. Any amount of public humiliation in the name of Mother, yeah?

So just from my own perspective? There’s no point in continuing to engage with DTS. All that’s going to happen is them crying harassment every time we criticize them, which causes them to post more dumb shit, which we interact with, and the ouroboros continues to eat itself. It distracts us from the real issues at hand, like her romanticization of asylums and her weird history of dating minors in her 20s. It’s also just kinda triggering to be told that you sharing a story about your actual stalking experience is a personal attack and “probably didn’t even happen anyway.”

[giselberts]

HELLO Greedfall nation i bring you an absolute mess of headcanons that are kind of out of character but it's more about the possibilities. the potential.

vasco pretends that he doesn't care for kids, but he's always the first one in line to tell them about his adventures to impress them. he wants that clout so bad 😤

he also looks like the kind of guy who enjoys a nice hat? what kind of boat captain would he be if he didn't have a hat.

hat collector vasco who gets a new hat every time he's got a little personal victory… but also he has nowhere to store his hats. his tiny little cabin? all full of hats. send him help.

when siora finds out about his hat hobby, she sometimes gives him cool feathers to put in his hat!! and also to the hat wearers in the team, everyone gets cool feathers

when the gang is taking a little rest while there's still light in the sky, siora sometimes gives fun facts about the plant that surround them :)

kurt tries to do the same but instead of plant facts it's just stories about how his good army pal once tried to eat raw nettles. or how another good pal tried to wipe his ass with a leaf that looked exactly like that one over there. "kurt that's poison ivy" "oh. that explains why he wanted to die"

actually. kurt traumatises everyone with cursed army stories. they're not even about stuff he fought in, it's just stuff he witnessed among his fellow soldiers. "i knew a guy called 3-bean john. named that because on the 4th bean he ate he died of allergies" "kurt what"

ok this is diving more into DS territory (one that doesn't romance kurt) BUT HEAR ME OUT. constantin and DS clinging onto kurt when they're kids bc he's just sooo cool and sooo strong… he's their idol but also they don't like how he bosses them around even though that's literally his job? there's a fun little elder brother/younger siblings dynamic between them :)

which means that even when DS and constantin are older, they still do their best to be little shits around kurt. kurt looks at someone? "oooh kurt's got a little crush!" kurt tries to do something nice with his hair? "why do you have a bird's nest on your head. dumbass" kurt buys a new hat? "that is the ugliest thing we've ever seen. please pretend that you don't know us this is so embarrassing"

it annoys kurt but also he does the same in return. DS is flirting with someone on the team? "haha did you know that DS can't tie their shoelaces? do you really want to be seen kissing someone who doesn't know how to tie their shoelaces." (i have nothing against people who cant tie their shoelaces im just bad at coming up with stuff)

siora loves that dynamic between kurt and DS 😭kurt probably teaches her a thing or two on how to harmlessly clown on DS

wait going back to siora and plants. in my heart she teaches DS how to make little flower rings. bonus points if they're in a romance and DS goes "bro if you give me a ring that means we're married in my culture 😳" "bro😳"

[thevindicativevordan]

Anything to say on Aquaman ? Especially nowadays after the clumsy Kaldh'ur push killed the franchise and left Arthur without a series ?

Highest grossing DC movie ever and DC managed to completely kill the franchise.

Hasn't had a book in years, and we don't know when if ever he'll get another one. No DCU Aquaman rumors, his animated miniseries got removed from MAX presumably for a tax write-off, and there's seemingly nothing in the works for him any time soon. Not since the GL movie bombed at the box office have I seen a franchise fall off as suddenly as Aquaman has. He should be an easy character to sell, a warrior-king married to a waterbending assassin-queen, with 71% of the Earth to cover all by himself. Arthur is an extremely flexible character who is suited to a wide range of stories. He can be a wild Conan esque hero, the barbarian hero imposing some measure of order on the seabed wilderness. He can be a regal figure, King Arthur ruling over underwater Camelot and protecting the realm from threats. He can be the star of murky Game of Thrones politicking regarding the throne of Atlantis. He can be about family drama, his mother ditching him, his dad frequently dead, his half-brother often serving as his enemy, his wife having tried to kill him and her side of the family continuing attempts to assassinate him.

Yet DC has seemingly given up on him for now. Not so Harley Quinn whose comic sales appear to be just as awful and whom starred in several high profile flops across multiple mediums recently. People bitch about the New 52 but that era was a Golden Age for Aquaman. For the record, every moron on social media who whines about Johns tackling all the stupid memes surrounding Aquaman head-first as being the wrong approach, only outs themselves as a midwit.

NOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T DO THIS IT'S INSECURE!!! - Dorks on social media who have no clue how to make characters popular.

Sales proved Johns had the right approach. Aquaman became cool after the Johns run. Various other writers from Peter David to Kurt Busiek had attempted to rehabilitate Aquaman and their efforts failed for a variety of reasons, but my personal opinion is they failed because they tried to pretend Aquaman's bad reputation didn't exist. They weren't willing to address the criticisms head on, instead opting to bury their heads in the sand, or have Arthur beat up more popular characters to increase his own standing. Aquaman in the New 52 worked because Johns had Arthur all but look directly at the readers and say "shut the hell up, forget all the dumbass memes for a second, and watch this." Shockingly, it worked!

Chalk it up to prime Johns' ability to make any C-Lister appealing to readers, or that a bunch of new readers jumped on with the New 52, but Aquaman ran for 52 consecutive issues. Not feeling optimistic about any Aquaman book repeating that feat anytime soon. Feel free to rate Jeff Parker’s follow up run as superior in terms of storytelling, I think it’s fantastic myself, and it does make Atlanna an interesting character rather than the cliche dead parent, but we never would have gotten Parker’s run without Johns. He built the fanbase to support the book. Wan's first movie owes a great deal to Johns, the same spirit of swashbuckling fun that made the movie connect is present within his run, and anyone who attempts to claim he deserves no credit isn't worth listening to.

Like it or not, there was a misguided attempt to de-emphasize Arthur as the lead character as part of the disastrous push for legacies during Infinite Frontier. Young Justice Kaldur was my second favorite character after Superboy, yet I don't feel the same affection for Earth 0 Kaldur. He was barely Arthur's sidekick before they tried to make him Aquaman, and the attempt to reform Black Manta was a terrible creative direction. Tempting as it might be to lay all the blame on Kaldur, I don't think it's only his fault. We got a BL Aquaman book by Ram V where Arthur plays side protagonist to a bunch of OCs, with the expected result of said book flopping. Aquaman is not a franchise strong enough where you can sideline the titular character or use him to prop up other characters, a fact that the Black Panther franchise has also struggled to accept post Chadwick's death.

DC needs to get their collective head out of their ass and give Arthur another push. No sharing the mantle, no fighting over the Throne of Atlantis for the 50th time, let's try something else. If they don't have faith in a mainline Aquaman title, at least put out an Absolute Aquaman book. This is no way to treat the guy who gave you the highest-grossing DC film ever.