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lingshanhermit · 8 months

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Lingshan Hermit: How Your Life and Cultivation Was Ruined

Our actions are always driven by our values, which teach us how to choose and give up things, and say “no” or “yes” to others. If you happen to have the right values, you will end up in heaven, but if you unfortunately have the wrong values, they will send you to hell. I have seen many people brought to heaven by their values, and also seen many people dragged to hell by their values. Their position in your life is so important that I have to emphasize it over and over again. Over the years, I have seen many cultivators obsessed with nonduality, Longchen Rabjam, Dudjom Lingpa and Dzogchen. But they don't seem to have ever examined their own values. In my opinion, most of them are not good enough to truly cultivate these teachings. If your values are problematic, learning these teachings is like dancing on a collapsing wall. So I hope those who are studying the Sixty Stanzas of Reasoning and the Wisdom Guru take a look at their own values, which may save your life.

Over the years I have met many people, good and bad. When I was younger, I used to think most people were good, although I knew there were bad people in the world, I didn't think I would encounter them, I wouldn't think badly of others, I wouldn't suspect others of having bad motives from the get go. Later, the world taught me some lessons, making me realize that some people are not what I thought they were, their motives were not friendly from the beginning. I was depressed for a while because of this. When I slowly walked out of my depression, I began to become interested in their motives. I slowly sorted out the roots of their values, which allowed me to gradually see clearly why they would be like that. When I figured out the origins of their values, I was completely relaxed. I'm not at all surprised why they would think that way and act that way, essentially, put anyone in the environment they were raised in, and let them grow up in that environment, the possibilities of them breaking free aren't high either. So for them, they can only think and act that way. Their values give them an extremely narrow range of choices. Unless you are exceptionally capable, to the point of being able to completely change your ideas, otherwise you will only be a victim of your values, being carried by them throughout your life until destruction.

When I studied their values, I found that they all had one thing in common: they don't trust anyone, or to be more precise, they don't trust anyone. I believe this has to do with their upbringing. Unlike them, I was fortunate to be born into a relatively wealthy family. Before I was 15 years old, I hardly experienced contempt from others. During my youth I mostly encountered good people. Even later, when I met those who could be called bad people, they were not so bad as to be completely unprincipled. Needless to say, such experiences limited my imagination about bad people, so I don't tend to think badly of others, and even if I do, it's very limited. I still remember the shock in my heart when I first read The Deer and the Cauldron in elementary school: I didn't know there were people in the world with such cunning minds.

But they were different. They grew up in the jungle world. Everyone around them was cheating others, and everyone was guarding against being cheated by others. While guarding against being cheated by others, they were also thinking about how to cheat others. Everyone wanted easy gains, believing that trickery was superior to hard work. No one believed that failing to keep one's word was a serious issue. No one cared whether the source of others' wealth was moral. There were no virtuous people around them, and those unvirtuous ones never believed they were unvirtuous, because they had all kinds of absurd reasons to prove they were right. This allowed them to be unscrupulously bad. They grew up in this kind of world, which made them feel that all the kindness and compassion in the world was nothing but elaborate disguises. It also allowed them to easily understand the real motives of those who lived in the same culture without too much effort. They were taught from a young age that everyone is selfish. I'm not saying their parents or those around them taught them this directly, but everyone demonstrated it to them with their actions, everything around them taught them this, helping them shape their own values. Although they never truly believed anyone deep down in their hearts, they wouldn't let others know they didn't believe in them, they would pretend to believe. Not only would they pretend to believe in others, they would also pretend to believe in Buddhism, pretend to believe in gurus, pretend to believe in karma, for a practitioner, this could be the worst thing ever. They lived in self-deception for a long time, and one of the long-term consequences of prolonged self-deception is that you will believe you truly have faith in the guru, because you will numb yourself, brainwashing yourself into believing you have faith in the guru, but since this trust is pretended, it cannot withstand weight. As soon as the guru fails to meet your expectations, or does anything you think hurts you, this pretended trust will be blown away instantly.

If one believes everyone is selfish, it means one has been sentenced to death in terms of cultivation. Our practice is built on some kind of foundation. On this foundation, we believe that there are saints beyond selfishness, saints who are completely without a "self", we believe they exist in the world and are working for our benefit in a completely selfless way – we believe our teachers are such people. But to believe this requires tremendous merit, there aren't actually that many people with such merit. Those with the wrong values believe everyone is selfish. Along with this, they will naturally believe the deities are selfish too. If one believes the deities are selfish too, one will naturally believe the deities can also be bribed. So they make deals with the deities.

If you are this type of person, if you hold such values, I don't know how you will be able to truly love anyone. You are full of suspicion about everyone's motives – not just the stranger who voluntarily helps carry your luggage on the plane – you will be suspicious of everyone, suspicious of taxi drivers, deliverymen, newcomers to the company, gurus, you won't even trust those sleeping in the same bed, eventually not even trusting your own parents and children. These things will slowly erode all your relationships until they completely collapse. If you are used to suspecting others, you will definitely bring this habit into your cultivation as well, you will be suspicious of Buddhism, suspicious of fellow cultivators, and worse still, suspicious of the guru who teaches you the dharma and gives you empowerments. I can't think of anything more terrible than this. I have encountered some people before, although they were interested in Buddhism, they had great difficulty believing in others, and were suspicious of everything. They and I were like people from two different worlds. This manifests in that if my guru asked me to get up at 5 am every morning to clean his bathroom, I would consider it an honor, I would think he was being good to me, I would be very willing to accept the guru's arrangement, and regard it as an important cultivation practice to end my samsara. But these people are different. They speculate about the guru's motives, and regard him as an ordinary person when speculating. So they have no problem concluding that the guru is taking advantage of his status to take advantage of them. Although in the end they may still have to do it, holding such an idea, I don't know where it will lead them. People like this find it very difficult to even establish basic trust. And without this trust, you can't truly cultivate even the most basic things in Buddhism. (Your practice will always only be superficial, never able to touch your heart. You're only acting, only doing things that look right. You do these things because you have to, you don't even know why you're doing them, let alone believing that doing them benefits you.) Judging every word of the guru as ridiculous as examining every piece of toilet paper in the bathroom. Not to mention the guru yoga practices of complete trust and complete devotion to the guru. Lacking this kind of trust, even if you do what the guru tells you, you won't believe the guru has your best interest in mind, especially when he wakes you up at 4 am to have you drive him to the airport – you will never believe it is for your liberation. Especially since your flesh and blood guru also often catches colds, loses his temper, and has all kinds of mundane preferences. Occasionally, you can also see him sneakily looking at nude girls on his phone, which further deepens your distrust of him and further proves your belief that he is just an ordinary person. However, because of many reasons, you need to maintain your relationship with him. In order to maintain your relationship, you will pretend to believe in him, pretend to be very willing to do the various things he asks you to do, pretend to be a good disciple, while believing that others are pretending too. This makes you more hypocritical and self-deceiving.

It is said that arrogance is the trait of celestial beings, while suspicion is the trait of human beings among the six realms. As human beings, we are only willing to do as others say when we believe they truly have our best interests in mind. But having the aforementioned values causes you to lose this capability. People with such values do not believe anyone would truly care for them. But it gives you another capability – no matter what others say or do, you always want to uncover their underlying real motives. I believe even if the Buddha was before you, you would still be able to pick out His flaws. You would think this glowing One just talks nicely. You would not believe He truly thinks that way. You would believe it’s impossible for such a person to exist in this world. You would believe He must have some other agenda. Therefore, even the greatest saint would be projected by you to be selfish – a sophisticated egoist. You would think He is no different from others, just pretending to be caring for your sake while actually caring for Himself, just pretending better than others. This is the inevitable product of such values.

We will only do something when we truly believe doing it will benefit us. Therefore, when you cannot truly trust another person, you have essentially completely blocked your path to liberation. Because for anything that person says, you would think he is just caring for himself under the guise of Buddhism. When you think this way, you will flatter and deceive the guru while doubting and selectively following his words. It is not hard to imagine what impact this would have on your cultivation. Moreover, once your teacher starts to displease you, starts to fulfill his responsibilities, starts to crush your ego, injure your pride, your pretended piety may no longer be able to hold. The more pressure he puts on you, the closer you get to the verge of collapse. Because you do not believe he wants to end your samsara, you do not believe he is doing this for your benefit, because you don't even believe in samsara itself. You also cannot understand that this is how one cultivates by taking the guru as the path. Ancient warriors were able to endure the excruciating pain of having a leg sawed off largely because they knew the doctor was caring for them and they knew they would likely die of sepsis if that was not done. But modern Buddhist practitioners may not necessarily believe the guru is helping them. They would not believe the guru sawing off their leg is helping them. For those who are accustomed to believing everyone is selfish, when their ego is severely humiliated, they would think the guru is making fun of them. They would think the guru likes to watch them make a fool of themselves in front of everyone. They would think the guru likes to torment them. Their values determine that they would think this way. (If you are a Vajrayana student, you should know how terrifying this idea is). Therefore, when encountering extraordinary pressure, it is highly likely that such people would turn against the guru. Because they never believed from the beginning that the guru wished them well – this determines that their tolerance level is very limited.

I have encountered some people before who really liked sayings like “you are your own best guru”. They like to advocate taking oneself as guru. I didn’t understand before why they would think like this, why they don’t go learn from existing teachers but want to explore on their own instead. Now I know it is because they do not believe in anyone at all. They only believe in their own exploration (this is like you only eat your own cooking and drink your own water). They believe everyone is selfish, untrustworthy and has ulterior motives. So they like “you are your own best guru”, “only you can really rely on yourself”.

“Only yourself can really rely on”, “you are your own guru”, these sayings do come from the Buddha’s teachings. But clearly, these sayings have been decontextualized. If you happen to be smart and wise enough to understand them correctly, these words can indeed aid liberation. But if your understanding is incorrect – which is almost certain – such words would become the authority of demons. They would become weapons for you to oppose the guru. They would become the biggest obstacles on your path to liberation, completely ruining your cultivation – terminating your cultivation even before it commenced.

Then how can one understand such words correctly? The answer is actually a paradox – if you don’t have a teacher, it is impossible for you to understand such words correctly. But it is impossible for you to have a teacher, because you believe you can understand such words correctly without needing a teacher, since you believe you are your own best guru.

Therefore, if you believe everyone is selfish, you cannot believe anyone at all. If you cannot believe anyone at all, you cannot truly cultivate or truly live. Your sleep quality must be very poor, because you have to contemplate various possibilities. You don’t believe anyone, you won’t entrust yourself to anyone. Over time, you will become mentally deteriorated. Some of those who cannot believe others choose to teach themselves Buddhism, taking themselves as their own teachers. They choose to draw wisdom from the Buddhist scriptures. They believe this is safer (but this is actually the most dangerous path, with the devil having set up innumerable traps waiting for you). Some others may seem to have teachers, may seem to be cultivating and obedient, but if you observe carefully, although they pretend very well, they actually only listen to themselves. No matter which kind you belong to, the future looks bleak.

In summary, if you have such values, if you believe everyone is selfish, the result would be you cannot truly trust anyone. You also won’t commit. You treat everyone perfunctorily. Ultimately, your life would be ruined by it. Your cultivation would also be destroyed by it. This is what I call the disaster of values.

Fortunately, our values are not innate. Most of our values are acquired after birth. Although some values do come from conditioning over many lifetimes, that does not mean they cannot be changed. That said, changing one’s values is not something that can be done overnight. You may spend your whole life unable to shake them one bit. Because the premise for changing values is admitting almost all the notions you held your whole life have been completely upside down. Very few people can accomplish this. Therefore, most would not change one bit until death. Those who believe everyone is selfish have another trait – they never believe they have done anything wrong. So this becomes a dead loop, completely cutting off any possibility for them to change.

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灵山居士：你的生活和修行是怎么被毁掉的

我们做任何事背后都是价值观在驱使，价值观教我们如何选择、教我们如何取舍、教我们对他人说NO或是yes。如果你恰好幸运到有正确的价值观，你会上天堂，但是假如你不幸拥有错误的价值观，它就会送你下地狱。我见过很多人被自己的价值观带入天堂，也见过很多人被自己的价值观拖入地狱。它在你生命里的位置是如此重要，以致于我不得不一而再再而三的强调。这些年，我看到很多修行人迷恋于不二，迷恋于龙树和创巴仁波切，迷恋于大圆满。但他们似乎从未审视过自己价值观。依我之见，他们中的大多数人并未优秀到真正可以修持这些教法的程度。假如你的价值观有问题，你去学习这些教法就像是在即将倒塌的墙上跳舞。所以我希望那些正在学习《六十颂如理论》的人，那些正在学习《智慧上师》的人，看一下自己的价值观，这可能会救你一命。

这些年我遇见过很多人，他们中有好人也有坏人。在我比较年青的时候，我是习惯于认为大多数人都是好人的，虽然我知道这世上有坏人，但我不觉得自己会遇到，我不会把人往坏处想，不会上来就揣测别人有不好的动机。后来世界给了我一些教训，让我惊觉有些人并不是我以为的那样，他们从一开始动机就并非友善。我曾经为此而抑郁了一段时间，当我慢慢走出抑郁，我开始对他们的动机发生兴趣，我慢慢梳理出他们价值观的源头，这让我开始慢慢看清楚他们为什么会这样。当我理清他们的价值观的来源，我就完全释然了，我一点也不奇怪他们为何会这么想，会这么做，为什么会生生把自己毁掉。基本上，把任何一个人放在他们所生活的坏境下，让他在那样的环境下长大，他们跳脱出来的可能性也不大。所以，就他们而言，他们只能这么想，也只能那么做。他们的价值观赋予他们极窄的选择空间，除非你是非常厉害是那种厉害到极致的人，除非你真的能彻底改变自己的观念，否则你只会是你价值观的牺牲品，你一辈子都会被你的价值观裹挟着往前走，直至毁灭。

当我去研究他们的价值��的时候，我发现他们都有一个共同特点，就是他们都不相信别人，准确的说，是不相信任何人。我相信这和他们成长的经历有关。和他们不同的是，我很幸运地生在一个相对富裕的家庭，在15岁之前，我几乎没遭遇过别人的白眼。在我的青年岁月，我遇到的大都是好人，即便是后来，我遇到那些堪称坏人的人，他们也都不是坏到毫无底线。可想而知，这样的经历限制了我对坏人的想象力，所以我不太容易把人往坏的方向想。即便是想也只是很有限的想。我还记得上小学的时候第一次读到《连城诀》时心里的震撼：世上居然还有这样的心术。

但是这些人就不同了。他们从小就生活在丛林世界里，他们周围的每个人都在骗人，每个人也都在提防着不被别人骗，每个人在提防着不被别人骗的同时还想着怎么骗人，他们每个人都想不劳而获，都认为巧取胜于苦耕，没有人认为说了不做是严重的问题，也没有人关心别人的财富来源是否道德，他们周围没有善良的人，而那些不善良的人也从不认为自己不善良，因为他们有一整套歪理来证明自己的正确，这让他们坏的理直气壮。他们在这样的世界里长大，这让他们觉得世间所有的善良慈悲都是精巧的伪装，也让他们不需要太费力就能理解那些和他们生活在同一种文化下的人们的真实动机。他们从小就被教导每个人都是自私的，我并不是在说他们的父母或是周围的人会这么教育他们，但是他们每个人都在用行动来教导他们，他们周围的每件事也都在教导他们，在帮助他们塑造自己的价值观。虽然他们内心深处从未相信过任何人，但是他们不会让别人知道他们不相信别人，他们会假装相信。他们不但会假装相信别人，还会假装相信佛法，假装相信上师，假装相信轮回因果，对于一个修行人来说，这可能是最糟糕的事了。他们长期活在自我欺骗之中，而长期自欺的后果之一是你会认为自己是相信上师的，因为你会自我麻醉，会自己给自己洗脑说自己是相信上师的，但是由于这种信任是假装出来的，所以它无法承重。一旦上师无法满足你的期许，或是他做了任何你认为伤害到你的事，这些假装出来的信任会瞬间告吹。

假如一个人相信世上每个人都是自私的，那就意味着他在修行上被判了死刑。我们的修行建立在某种基础之上，在这种基础上，我们相信有超越自私的圣者，有完全没有“自我”的圣者，我们相信他们存在于世，并且完全不抱私利地在做着利益我们的事——我们相信我们的老师就是这样的人。但是相信这些需要巨大的福德，有这样福德的人其实并不多，大部分人并无这样的福德。那些怀抱错误价值观的人，他们认为每个人都是自私的，附带着他们会认为神灵也是自私的，如果一个人认为神灵也是自私的，那么他会理所当然认为神灵也是可以被收买的，所以他们会和神灵做生意。

如果你是这样的人，如果你拥有这样的价值观，我不知道你会怎么去爱，你几乎无法真心去爱任何人。你对每个人的动机都充满怀疑——不只是在飞机上主动帮你搬箱子的陌生男子——你会怀疑每一个人，会怀疑出租车司机，怀疑外卖员，怀疑新入职的同事，怀疑上师，你甚至对睡在同一张床的人都不会信赖，最后连你的父母子女你也会怀疑。这些东西会慢慢侵蚀你所有的的关系，直到它们彻底崩塌。如果你认为每个人都是自私的，最后你会如愿以偿发现每个人确实都是如你所想的那般自私，最后你只能自己一个人孤独地活着。

在成年以后，我是不看电视的，在很长的一段时间里，我的住宅里连电视机也没有。后来因为我父母想要看一些新闻，才购置了一台电视。我偶尔也能看到电视里在播什么东西，有时候我会看到电视里在播一些打官司的新闻，那些打官司的人，他们都是很近的亲戚，他们之间居然用法律说话。我看到那些父母和子女，兄弟和姐妹，他们之间完全是在用法律说话，好像他们彼此是完全不认识的陌生人，这对我来说是个冲击。因为和我生长的文化完全不一样。在我生长的地方，即便是再大的矛盾也不至于闹到对簿公堂的程度。我从来没见过亲戚之间闹到公堂上，我们那里关系最差的亲戚之间也只是互不来往而已。现在我知道，那是因为他们和我生长在完全不同的文化环境里，在他们那种文化里，他们相信每个人都是自私的，他们相信只有绝对自私才能维护自己的权益，只有绝对自私才能抗拒别人的自私。所以他们全副盔甲去对付那些最亲近的人。

从这些事，你就能知道这些观念会毁掉多少东西。它会毁掉你的生活，让你失去爱的能力，失去相信的能力，失去同理心，把你的每一段关系都搞得一团糟。我见过很多这样的人，他们不懂得怎么表达感情，不懂得关心别人，也不懂得如何协作。不懂得如何协作我认为这是现代人极度疏离自闭的的后果之一。我见过很多不喜欢沟通的人，起初我会认为他们是懒，后来慢慢发现他们不懂得沟通协作的根源是因为他们不相信别人。他们不相信别人，所以不愿意和别人沟通，不愿意把自己的想法暴露在别人面前，也不愿意和别人多说，他们唯恐让别人深入了解自己。他们宁可选择自己去做，但是很多事情是无法一个人完成的。

假如你习惯于怀疑别人，你一定也会把这种习惯带到修行上来，你会怀疑佛法，怀疑同修，更可怕的是，你会怀疑教你佛法给你灌顶的上师，我想不出还有比这更可怕的事了。我曾经遇到过一些人，他们虽然对于佛法感兴趣，但是很不容易相信别人，他们对一切都充满怀疑。他们和我完全就像是两个世界的人。这体现在如果我的上师要求我每天早上五点起床去把他的浴室打扫一下，我会认为这是我的荣耀，我会认为他是在对我好，我会很乐意接受上师的安排，并且会把它视为终结我的轮回的一项重要修行。但是这些人不同，他们会揣测上师的动机，而且是把他当成一个凡夫去揣测。所以，他们不难得出上师是在利用上师身份占他便宜这种结论。虽然最后他们可能也不得不去做，但是怀揣这样的想法，我不知道他会被带往何处。像这样的人，他们连基本的信任都很难建立。而缺乏这种信任，你连佛法最基础的东西都无法真正修持，（你的修行永远都只是在表面，永远无法触及你的心，你只是在演戏，只是做出一些看起来正确的事情，你做这些事是因为你不得不做，你根本不知道做这些事是为了什么，也不相信做这些事对你有好处。）——因为你会审视上师的每一句话，审视上师的每一句话就像是你要检查厨师做出来的每一道菜检查厕所的每一张纸巾一样荒谬——更不用说把自己完全交出去的完全信赖上师的上师瑜伽修法了。缺乏这种信任，即便你去做上师交代你的事，你也不会相信上师是为你好，特别是当他在早上4点把你叫起来让你开车送他去机场的时候——你绝不会认为这是为了你的解脱。尤其是你的这位肉身上师还会经常感冒，还会发脾气，还有各种庸俗的喜好，你偶尔还能从上师手机上看到他在偷看裸女，这更加深了你对他的不信任，也更验证了你认为他是一个凡夫的想法。但是因为很多理由，你需要维系你们之间的关系，为了维系你们的关系，你会假装相信他，假装很心甘情愿地去做他要求你做的各种事，假装自己是个好弟子，而且你会认为其他人也都在假装。这让你变成更加虚伪和自欺。

据说在六道众生之中，天道的特质是我慢，而人道的特质则是怀疑。作为人类，我们只有在相信别人是真的为我们好的时候，才会愿意照他说的做，但是拥有上述价值观会让你失去这种能力，拥有这样的价值观的人不会相信有人会真的为你好。但是它会让你锻炼出另外一种能力，那就是不管别人说什么做什么，你都会想要找出他们背后隐藏的真实动机。我相信即便是佛陀在你面前，你也能挑出他的毛病，你认为这个发光的人只是说得好听而已，你不会认为他是真的是那么想的，你认为世上不可能有这样的人，你认为他肯定是有别的目的。所以，再伟大的圣者，在你面前也会被投射出他是在利己——他是个精致的利己主义者。你会认为他和其他人一样，只是打着为你好的幌子在为自己好，只是装的比较像而已。这就是这种价值观的必然产物。

我们也只有在相信一件事做了真的会对自己好的时候，才会去做。所以，当你无法真正相信另外一个人的时候，其实你已经把你的解脱之路彻底堵��，因为他说的任何事情你都会认为他是在对自己好，只是打着佛法的名义而已。当你这么认为的时候，你会对上师虚以委蛇，你会对他的话半信半疑，你会选择性执行他的话。不难想象，这会对你的修行产生什么样的影响。而且，一旦你的老师开始让你不爽，一旦他开始履行他的职责，一旦开始碾压你的自我，开始挫伤你的骄傲，你假装的虔诚可能就无法继续维系。他给你的压力越大，你就越接近崩溃边缘。因为你不会认为他是要终结你的轮回，你不会认为他这么做是在对你好，因为你根本不认为有轮回。你也无法理解以上师为道就是这么修的。古代战士能忍受锯掉一条腿的痛苦很大程度上是因为他知道医生是在为他好，他知道如果不这么做他会有极大的概率死于败血症。但是现代佛法修持者可不一定认为上师是在帮他，他不会认为上师锯掉他的一条腿是在帮他。那些习惯于认为每个人都是自私的人，当他们的自我被狠狠羞辱的时候，他们会认为上师是拿他取乐，他们会认为上师喜欢看他们在众人面前出丑，会认为上师喜欢折磨他。他们的价值观决定了他们会这么认为。（如果你是个金刚乘的学生，你应该知道这是多么可怕的想法。）所以，假如这样的人遇到超乎寻常的压力，他们有极大的可能和上师翻脸。因为他们从一开始就不认为上师是为他好——这决定了他们的忍耐程度非常有限。

以前我遇到过一些人，他们很喜欢诸如“你是你自己最好的上师”之类的话。他们喜欢标榜以自己为师。以前我并不理解他们为什么会这么想，为什么放着现成的老师不去学要自己探索。现在我知道他们其实是因为不相信任何人，他们只相信自己的探索，（这就像是你只吃自己煮的饭只喝自己打的水一样。）他们认为每个人都是自私的，每个人都是不可信的，每个人都是有所图的。所以他们会喜欢“你是你自己最好的上师”，“只有自己才是自己的依靠”这样的话。

“只有自己才是自己的依靠”，“你自己是你的上师”，这些话确实来自佛陀的教言。但是很显然，这些话被掐头去尾肢解了。如果恰巧你聪明智慧到能理解对的程度，这些话确实有助于解脱。但是，假如你理解的不对——这几乎是肯定的——这样的话就会沦为魔王的权柄，它们就会成为你对抗上师的武器，就会变成你解脱路上最大的障碍，就会彻底葬送你的修行———你的修行还未开始就被它终结了。

那么如何才能正确理解这样的话呢？答案其实是个悖论：假如你没有老师，你就不可能正确理解这样的话。但是，你不可能有老师，因为你相信不需要老师也能正确理解这样的话，因为你相信你就是自己最好的上师。

所以，如果你相信所有的人都是自私的，你就无法相信任何人。如果你无法相信任何人，你就无法真正修行，你也无法真正生活，你的睡眠质量肯定很糟糕，因为你要思考各种可能性，因为你不相信任何人，不会把自己托付给任何人。时间长了，你会神经衰弱。那些无法相信别人的人，他们中的有些人选择自己教导自己佛法，自己当自己的老师，他们选择从佛经里汲取智慧，他们认为这样比较安全（但这其实是最危险的路，因为魔王挖了无数的坑在等着你。）；另外一些人虽然看似有老师、看似在修行、看似在听话，但是仔细观察你会发现虽然他们伪装的很好，但其实他们只听自己的话。无论你属于他们中的哪一种，前景都不美妙。

综上所述，假如你有这样的价值观，假如你相信每个人都是自私的，那么结果就是你对谁都无法真正信任，你也不会付出，你对每个人都是虚情假意，最终，你的生活会被它毁掉，你的修行也会被毁它掉。这就是我说的价值观灾难。

但是好在我们的价值观并非天生的，我们大部分价值观都是后天养成的，虽然有些价值观确实来自过去生很多世的熏染，但是即便是这样也不意味着他是不可改变的。话虽如此说，要改变自己的价值观可不是一朝一夕的事，你可能倾尽一生都未能撼动它一分。因为改变价值观的前提是承认自己大半辈子几乎所有的理念全都是颠倒的，很少有人能做到这一点。所以，大部分人至死也不会改变一点。那些认为每个人都是自私的人，他们还有一个特点是从不认为自己有任何错，所以，这就像是一个死循环，彻底封闭了他们改变的可能性。

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