#dude....i love how well-written this fanfic is but got-damn can we write a version of this character that isn't a virgin???

[missus-meticulous]

UGHFHFHFHHASHDFHASDFHASDKF.....whyyyyyy are we so afraid to write fanfiction where the woman is not a virgin?!??? Can we write women who are not virgins and who own their sexuality???? PLEASE????

[tsukimefuku]

The Event (Part 1)

This is an older version of this. The current one can be found linked on the masterlist.

You find yourself entangled with Nanami in his apartment, and worry where this might be going.

Tags: +18 (!!!), WITH PLOT (there is always a plot), Jujutsu Kaisen, SMUT, f!reader, Nanami x reader, alcohol consumption,  they're clearly in love, fingering, bj, penetration, a little angst, some fluff, hurt + comfort.

WC: 5.2K

Theme song (?): Want me too - Mons Vi (on Youtube)

Hope you guys enjoy my filth, yet again. This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU", a sequence of short stories and random drabbles for a Nanami x f!reader x Higuruma fanfic I'll eventually write (eventually). This is preceded specially by "Would you let me die?", here, and "Where does your mind drift", here. It comes before “The man who played with fire”. To see the ever-growing list of one-shots, please visit my masterlist :)  

Disclaimer: these one-shots are NOT written and posted in chronological order of events. To see where this story fits in the timeline, please check the masterlist mentioned above.

“I've been fooled twice and again

Flowers dying that I send

But I want you

I want you

I want you to want me, too”

— Want me too, Mons Vi

You were pressed against the wall of his apartment, and Nanami's insistent hands on your waist were doing the pressing, while you fidgeted around his shoulders to remove his suit jacket. You both had locked lips and tongues to each other, and you couldn't remember another time in your life you had been this breathless while kissing someone. That boulder of a man and the heat of his body sent all your senses spiraling as you finished taking his suit jacket off and tugged his shirt to pull him even closer — something that was clearly impossible, given you were both already glued to one another.

Then, you tried to remember how the fuck the both of you wound up in this situation.

***

"Nanami..." you hiccuped, "you're d-drunk!" Lowering your beer mug on the bar counter, you pointed at him, accusingly. "C-completely hammered."

"Is..." Nanami took a moment to realize he had his eyes closed for a few seconds. Were it seconds? He opened them, as if that would help him with the drunken vertigo. It just made the situation worse. "... That so?"

"You're talking so damn slow, and you had your eyes closed for like a whole minute. Dude, you're so-" you hiccuped again, taking another gulp of beer, completely forgetting what you were about to say.

Somewhat amused at how you simply never finished the sentence, he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, trying to ground himself. Nanami didn't recall the last time he got this completely boozed up. Both of you were pretty strong when it came to alcohol, but tonight, you two maybe went a little too overboard. "You don't seem to be fending off so well..." He stretched his last word, feeling a little dizzy, "... Either."

"Is this a competition, Nanami? ... I'll win!" You declared, bottoming out your beer mug, making a pretty huge effort to put it back on the counter without breaking the glass. "... Do I want to win this-" 

The barman looked at you two. "We're closing. Can I get you guys some water?"

Oh, that was why you were both so banged up. You had been talking and drinking nonstop for hours without eating anything.

"Holy shit, Nanami, we've been drinking for five hours?" You asked him, stunned. He answered nothing, having his eyes shut again, head dangling back, while he leaned on the chair. How does he keep sleeping while seated? This is so bizarre. You grabbed his arm and shook it lightly, and Nanami was pulled awake.

"We need to pay for the drinks, sir." He said to the barman, much to the barman's worry. 

"I'll... Get your check, and some water for the both of you, okay?"

You both nodded, like puzzled kids.

After paying (with a lot of effort), you and Nanami walked outside, just to realize basically every joint was closing, and that it was raining. No, raining wasn't the most adequate word for it. It was absolutely pouring.

"Shit, I'm never getting home like this." You complained, as Nanami fidgeted with a small umbrella he somehow had on him. Considering he easily walked around with his blunt blade underneath his suit jacket, carrying this must've been quite easy. 

"How did you know?" You asked, pointing at the umbrella.

"I always check the forecast before leaving my apartment." He answered, still fumbling with the thing. Of course he does. You took the umbrella from Nanami's hands and opened it, giving it back to him.

"Hey, Nanami... Do you live nearby?"

He started to look around, pondering for a moment, until he could locate exactly where the both of you were. "I... do, actually." He paused, realizing he had his posture crooked, fixing it. "It's a 20-minute walk from here."

You thought for a moment. "Can I-" hiccup, "come over and wait for the rain-" hiccup, "to pass?"

"Yes..." He blinked slowly, still processing the words on his mind. "Of course."

As he held the umbrella on his right side, you intertwined your arm to his, pushing yourself closer, so the two would fit under the tiny thing. However, given the fact that the both of you were considerably tall, and that he was specially broad, that didn't work so well, leaving each with some shoulder exposed to the unforgiving weather.

Nanami sighed slowly. "We will get completely drenched."

You scoffed. "No, we won't, and if we do, it will help us sober the hell up. Come on."

***

Feeling less under the influence after a walk in the rain and cold, Nanami took his keys and opened the door, letting you in. He noted you were both somewhat damp while taking your shoes off, but not completely soaked in water as he'd expected. He flipped the lights on, and then, you could see the inside of his apartment — something you, not so proudly, used to wonder about from time to time.

It had mostly light colors with warm tones to the furniture. He had two bookcases completely filled with books that seemed to be organized in a pretty specific and convoluted way. They neatly met together on each shelf. He had an armchair, and above it was a greenish type of light fixture for reading. The windows were incredible, and provided a great view of Tokyo. The kitchen was on the opposite side of the sofa, and it was an open-type of kitchen, where someone from the living room could see all of it. It was an impeccably clean and well-maintained place, and if this wasn't Nanami, you'd probably think it belonged to a serial killer, given how it was extremely tidy, to a clearly obsessive length. You felt you were dirtying the apartment just by looking at it.

"Um... Where can I sit?" You asked, hesitantly. He pointed to one of the chairs at the dining table, and you promptly sat there, trying not to move too much and spread water around the place.

You started to slide your hand through your hair, just to realize it was quite wet. He noticed, and went inside his room for a minute, coming back with a blue towel, giving it to you. Taking the towel from his hands, you shuffled it around your head, drying whatever you could. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Nanami replied, sitting down on the edge of his sofa and removing his tie calmly. He folded it a couple of times before putting the tie over the sofa's arm.

"So, how are you feeling? You look more sober." You said. He did, actually. You noticed his usually neat, perfectly aligned hair had some locks over his forehead, probably due to the rain. His blue shirt was slightly damp, and his pants, just under his knees, had definitely seen better days.

"I feel more alert, yes. And the vertigo has stopped, thankfully. Although I'm still quite inebriated." Nanami replied, as he leaned back on the cushions crossing his legs, and you noticed the slightest hint of imbalance. "What is your status?"

"I'm sobering up a little. But I'm still pretty fucked, though." You answered, chuckling while you rested the towel over your lap. "I'll definitely regret this tomorrow."

He huffed, amused. "I will too, probably."

You were both silent for a moment, while the pouring rain filled the ambiance. It had eased out, but was still pretty heavy.

"Nanami..." You began.

"Yes?" He braced himself. He knew some complicated question or contemplation was just about to be thrown at him. Nanami had noticed for a while now that you liked to think out loud and chat about your ruminations.

"Remember when I asked you to let me die if it would save somebody else, and you refused?" You questioned, starting to probe him.

Strangely, it didn't annoy him at all, especially after the conversation you both shared when you were stranded with Ijichi by the mountains. He thought at the time you made that request, he'd like to go back to it, eventually. "Yes, I do recall that." Nanami answered.

"Why did you- I mean, we're supposed to-" Talking about this was hard, and being still somewhat drunk made the task nearly impossible. Gladly, he already knew what you wanted to go on about.

"I don't want you to die. You see, even with your antics," he began, "you have become an  important person in my life. As jujutsu sorcerers, that unfortunately is hard to come by and stay. You..." He paused for a second. "You stayed, and I'd like to keep it that way."

You were slightly surprised, given you expected from Nanami some sort of less straight-forward declaration about the importance and relevance of people in his life. It must've been the alcohol, you thought.

"Why did you request that from me, in particular?" He inquired.

"Because you know me better than anyone currently in my life," you blurted out, "and I knew you'd not take it like... I don't know. I just knew you'd understand where I was coming from, especially having been by my side when-" You choked up and couldn't finish the sentence. He knew, he remembered clearly what transpired ten years ago in your hometown, one of his most significant missions. You weren't aware of it, but even after the conversation you had years ago, he still blamed himself to some degree.

"You know me well, too. So how did you arrive at the conclusion that I would agree to such a request?" Nanami questioned, curious eyes glancing at you.

"You're such a dutiful and respectful person. A decent one, too. Especially regarding other people's wishes, when it's within your powers to honor them. So I thought you'd agree to it." You confessed, shrugging. 

He sighed. "I'm not a hero, I'm a jujutsu sorcerer. I came back because out of the two stupid things I could do, this was the one I was better suited for."

"You see, I think that's bullshit." You said, finally confronting him on this ready-to-go speech Nanami had most of the time. He was a bit surprised. You continued. "I know you care underneath that facade. Hell, I think I can actually say I know you, Mr. Bangs — yes, I remember them. We go way back, so don't try to preach to the choir. You're someone actually worried about saving people and doing good deeds in this dirty world of jujutsu."

The corner of his mouth stretched a little, and he seemed to be almost smiling. However, his expression was still blank enough to make his surge of warmth and fluttering unnoticeable. "If you knew that, then why did you believe I'd oblige to such a request?" He was still under the influence, and in normal circumstances, wouldn't be tap dancing dangerously around this boundary like he was right now.

You blushed and looked away as you began to answer him. "I just... Believed your 'preaching' for a second, I guess."

"I see." He answered, still looking at your face, thinking how lovely you looked when you blushe- No, stop it, he thought to himself. You noticed his eyes staring at you in a way that remembered the conversation you had while stranded some days prior.

“Is your mind drifting, Nanami?” You inquired, playfully. Looking at him to wait for an answer, your eyes locked onto his prominent jaw and chiseled face, and you wanted to rub your own face on his until you got cuts on your ski- Get a hold of yourself, woman, you mentally chastised yourself.

He didn’t fail to notice it, too. Rather than feeling embarrassed at being caught red-handed, daydreaming of you, he threw the ball right back at you. “Is yours?” 

You promptly looked away, yet again, heart skipping beats as you tried to keep yourself under control. Then, you noticed through the window that the rain had finally subsided.

Time to run before you went past the point of no return.

"Nanami, the rain is gone. I guess this is my cue." You said, hastily getting up. You were nervous, and having him probing you — not the other way around — was pushing all of your buttons in ways you were not prepared for. Furthermore, you were the type to make other people uncomfortable through joking and blunt sincerity, just so no one couldn't do it to you first. But with Nanami, after so much time, you had become vulnerable, something that scared the living shit out of you. You just knew Nanami was a decent and good man who'd never take advantage of this, and on top of that, you kind of owed the fact you were still alive to him.

He seemed a little disappointed, his expression less indecipherable than before. "I understand. Well..." He said as he got up. "Return safely."

You approached him to say goodbye, and your senses — as well as your common sense — dulled as you felt his perfume, now evaporating along with the water from his clothes. "Bye, then." You said, suddenly planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. 

Instead of retreating, as he normally would in a situation like this, Nanami closed his eyes and leaned his face to press your lips harder against his face, letting out a deep sigh of satisfaction that sent chills down his body. You inhaled him in, and before you knew, he was sliding down his own face, brushing his cheeks against your mouth intently, until his lips met yours. He let out a soft low groan as they made contact, and one of his hands made its way to your back, effectively pulling you into his warmth.

That was the moment you lost any willpower to get out of this unscathed, and you threw your arms around his head, which stole a light gasp from him. You used this opportunity to press your tongue inside his mouth, and his own tongue came to entangle with yours. Nanami grabbed you by your waist and pushed you against the wall, starting to pant lightly while the both of you were locked in a passionate kiss, ready to wash away the last ten years.

Oh, yeah. That's how this started.

He had his body pressed against yours, and you both did not dare to part the kiss or open your eyes, for you knew the moment you did, one or the other would pull the both of you back to the reality of how much of a bad idea this was. Not only were you and Nanami colleagues, but you effectively worked together on missions. On top of that, this wasn’t just a one-night stand or a random hook up, it was pretty well established you had feelings for each other, and some complicated unresolved issues. Things that having drunken sex usually tends to make even more chaotic. 

Suddenly, he rubbed his hips against yours just the right way, and you felt his throbbing erection pressed against you. You moaned loudly against his lips, open-mouthed and tongues grinding each other. Your moan made him press his mouth against yours to a closed kiss, and all the hairs on his arm and neck propped up with a shiver. Nanami went still, and the lack of mindless friction against his body brought you back to Earth for a split second.

“I’m leaving/Please leave” you both said at the same time, as he jumped back, sitting haphazardly over the sofa’s arm and tried — without much success — to cover his hardened length with his closed fist, looking away with a completely flushed and vermilion face. I should consider quitting alcohol, was the idea he entertained.

Panting frantically, you ran to the door, snatched your shoes from the entrance without even putting them on, and got out, letting it close behind you. You tried to catch your breath while hunched over, and evening out your breathing was being much harder than you thought, though you figured it could be from your heart racing and throbbing against your chest insistently. There was a ringing in your ears that you wanted to wait out until leaving the building, and so you stood there, right outside his apartment, for some minutes. However, while trying to pull yourself together, you noticed something.

You never heard the door locking.

I want him, I’ve wanted him for so long now, and he wants me too. What am I doing out here? I’m seeing this through to the end, you thought to yourself, with liquor-bought courage, resting your hand on the door knob. Pushing your body while you tried to silence every anxiety and impression that this was a bad idea, you entered the apartment again, to find Nanami sitting at the edge of his bed, beads of sweat on his forehead, as he incredulously and eagerly lifted his gaze to glance at you. You felt you must’ve looked desperate, and simmering under his slightly vacant stare, he seemed desperate too, clutching his fist on the mattress strongly enough to deform it a little.

“You… never locked your door” you remarked, removing your coat.

“I… did not.” He answered. “More specifically, I couldn’t find the strength to do so.” 

Nanami seemed to have reached the same conclusion you did when you were given time to think by yourself outside. 

Starting to walk towards him, you removed your socks, then started to unbutton your shirt, and he seemed hypnotized, following your stride with needy eyes. You let your shirt fall back, sliding over your arms until it hit the ground. Standing right in front of him, you put your hands together to unbutton your pants, and he held your hands in place, hesitantly.

You were resolute, but he seemed to still be swaying between what to (not) do.

“I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long. I… please…” you pleaded, barely brushing the side of your face against his, sending electricity all throughout his body. “I know you want me too.” You brushed the tip of your nose delicately over his chiseled cheekbone, to look him in the eyes.

Sighing deeply with his eyes closed, he finally opened them, and put his own nose right beside yours, making it possible for you to feel his breathing, lips nearly touching. “I do.”

You immediately kissed him, and it was different this time. The feeling wasn’t so urgent, but your lips locked deeply and intensely. He caressed the side of your hair with his fingertips, sliding his index finger around the edge of your ear, sending chills down your spine. Nanami then put his hands, one to each side of your hips, and guided you delicately to sit beside him on the bed. After that, he slid himself further back on the mattress, and you followed along.

As you both were in the middle of the bed, he rested his palm on your chest, pushing you softly to lie down, with his honeyed eyes still locked to yours. Every touch he made was so intent you felt your body shiver, like this was the first time you were ever touched by another person. To call Nanami an intense lover would be an understatement.

Lying down slowly, you gazed up at him, feeling your face searing hot as you did. This man was so goddamn handsome, and the way he looked at you nearly knocked the air out of your lungs.

His hands traveled between your breasts, down your abdomen, and reached the edge of your pants, unzipping you and pushing them as well as your underwear to your mid-thighs. Still looking at you, analyzing your each and every facial expression, Nanami started to slide one of his hands to where your already drenched underwear was previously. You felt somewhat embarrassed to be already that wet from some kissing and grinding, but oh, well. He apparently had that effect on you. 

As his fingers reached your dripping folds, his eyes widened a little, and his expression was kind of… amused? “Oh.”

Your face blushed even harder. “I… You… We were and-“

“You want me that intensely?” Nanami said, touching his forehead to yours, nose side by side.

“I… do. Please.” You answered, a little defeated.

He rubbed his lips against yours, and sighed, seemingly fluttering. “Then have me. Have all of me.” He pressed his tongue against your mouth, and you let him in, at the same time his fingers started to rub against your core. You mewled into his mouth, rolling your eyes back, and propping your hands to hold the nape of his head. He was softly grinding himself to the side of your body, searching for any relief to this throbbing clothed erection. 

He rubbed his middle finger to your clit, and the others rolled your outer folds in, pinching them delicately. As you mewled and moaned into his mouth, he let out satisfied groans, trying to hold himself together as you fell apart to his touch. The sounds you made being under his will were just exquisite.

You started to grind your pussy against his hand, and attentively, he applied more pressure with his fingers over your nub, eliciting a loud and powerful moan from you, as you pushed full force your lips on his. His body trembled, and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to stop doing this to you right now without going mad if you, by any chance, changed your mind about this whole endeavor.

Rocking your hips back and forth, you started to feel the heat pooling on your lower abdomen, tugging at his shirt urgently and desperately. He noticed it, and parted his lips from yours, keeping a small distance between your faces so he could watch you crumbling down in real time. You were completely debauched, flustered and messy. His heart throbbed in his chest, as he had never seen you look so beautiful as you did at this very moment. He could still smell the flowery scent from your hair, now mixed with your breath and sweat. It was heavenly.

Bubbling up and all throughout your body, you came onto his hands nearly yelling out of sheer pleasure, saying his name, and with your hands to the back of his neck, pressed your nails so deep into Nanami’s skin it almost drew blood. He huffed, delighted, as you quivered and convulsed underneath him. Nanami wanted to ask you to stay and not leave ever again.

Riding out your high, you pulled his face closer, planting a soft kiss on his lips.

Then, you moved your hand smoothly down his chest and abdomen until you reached the outline of his cock underneath his pants. You grabbed it firmly, and he let out a choked grunt from the back of his throat, launching his head back and pumping his girth involuntarily against your touch. You smiled.

“And you want me too, that badly?”

“I do.” He replied, pulling his hand up from your folds and tasting you from his fingers, while he looked straight at you. You saw his eyes half lidded as he tasted it. Sighing at the sight of that, you thought for a moment you came a little just from it. 

You pushed him back on the bed with your hands and slowly began to unbutton the rest of his signature blue shirt, removing it, and straddling yourself on top of his hips. Your pussy was pressed over his cock, and he put both of his hands firmly over your thighs, grinding up, grunting as he did. The motion, after you became so sensitive, had you seeing stars and sparkles in the back of your eyes. Letting out a mixture of a huff and a chuckle, you basked in the vision you had in front of you, and slid down your hands to open his pants. You did, and removed them until they fell on the floor. 

Suddenly, you gave a lick on his abs, and he shivered, letting out a faint moan. You made your way with your tongue slowly down his body, planting a few kisses until you got there. His cock was extremely hard, the tip was red and already leaking. Your mouth watered at that sight to behold.

Nanami suddenly put his hand on your cheek, and you looked at him. His face was flustered, his hair had already fallen completely out of its usual slick arrangement, and the needy look on this man’s face sent a wave of heat down your back. 

“I don’t want to alarm you, but I’m… Extremely wound up.” He confessed, a little embarrassed. “If by any chance this becomes too much, tell me to stop.” 

You smiled at him. “I won’t. Have all of me, too.”

His gaze deepened as your tongue made its way to his tip, glazing it with saliva. He immediately grabbed your hair and let out a strained moan, launching his head to the pillow underneath it. You swallowed his length, inch by inch, careful not to choke ahead of time. You noticed him squirming his hips underneath you, probably holding himself from bucking upwards full force.

Once you had taken him all in, you positioned yourself the most comfortable way and started to encouragingly press your hands on the sides of his hips, for him to pump his cock inside your mouth.

Still tightly — though not bruisingly — holding onto your hair, he asked, “are you sure?”

“Mm-Hmm”, was all you got out, with that massive cock inside your mouth. He started off slow, grinding the back of his cock to your tongue, gravely groans filling the room. As you seemed to be taking it well, his pace picked up, and his tip began hitting the back of your throat, deliciously choking you, as a few tears bubbled up in your eyes.

You were moaning to the taste and sound of Nanami, and your moaning seemed to snap something inside of him. Nanami began thrusting into your mouth intently, and after so much build up and grinding, suddenly, came while bucking his hips sloppily, painting the back of your throat with pure white. You began drinking him all in.

When you finished, you cleaned your face with the back of your hand, slowly making your way back to him. Before you did, though, Nanami held your waist and laid you down on the sheets, climbing on top of you and kissing you passionately, moving his hands to hold the sides of your head. He let his body weight rest over you, carefully, and you sank underneath that mountainous man, sliding your nails delicately down his back. He pressed himself in between your legs, and you gasped at the sensation. 

“Please…” you begged, now holding his face, looking straight into his eyes. “Please.”

He sighed, pressing a quick kiss on your lips, as he grabbed a condom from someplace you couldn’t quite make out. Nanami opened it with his teeth, and slipped it on quickly, hovering above you. He locked eyes with you again, resting his forehead against yours, and extended his hand behind your back, accidentally pressing the deep scar you had over your spine. You gasped in pain, and he retreated his hand immediately.

“I apologize, I… I…” his expression looked equally pained, with a distinct frown between his brows. “Please, forgive me.” This wasn’t an apology about current events, and it clenched your chest to see him like this. At this moment, you knew he still carried blame for what happened years ago.

“There is nothing to be forgiven, stop apologizing,” you said, holding his head against yours, eyes piercing through his. “You never failed me. Don’t apologize anymore. Please, don’t… don’t blame yourself.” 

His gaze softened, and he rested one of his hands on your cheek. The touch was wholeheartedly delicate, like he was holding a flower petal, and it sent your heart thumping against your chest. You could feel a surge of words stirring up your throat, and decided to let them out.

“I love you,” you said, gazing intently into his eyes, “I love you completely.”

Nanami looked at you pleadingly, and immediately pressed his lips to yours, brushing away to all the pain the both of you had endured together and apart. Only then, did he separate his lips from yours to breathe out, “I love you too.”

At that moment, you were sure you had sunk in too deep, and there was no escaping it anymore. Not even if you were an expert at fleeing. 

He positioned himself and sunk in slowly, wanting to feel as every inch made its way into you. You both shared an intense and strained moan in unison, as he bottomed out, tearing you apart slowly. There was no build up whatsoever to the coil that instantly formed in your lower abdomen, ready to snap. You stretched and clenched around him, walls fluttering, and Nanami groaned against your lips, halting any movement from his hips. 

“If I move too quickly, I’ll…” he said, closing his eyes and trying to concentrate, while pressing his hands to the sides of your shoulders. You were caged in, right underneath him.

You huffed and laughed softly. “I… I know, m-me too. Let’s take it slowly…”

Nanami smiled with the corner of his lips, planting an open-mouthed kiss on your jaw and contouring your face with the tip of his nose, until your noses were beside one another. He gazed at you, glancing straight into your eyes, and you looked right back, as he started to slowly glide in and out of you, pulling entirely and bottoming completely with each movement he made. Both of you moaned and groaned into each other, as he pressed you under him from every angle possible. Your heart whirled content, and at that moment, you felt heartwarmingly held and protected by him. 

His pace started to pick up, and you were babbling incoherently against his mouth. He kissed you and pressed your head against the bed with his urgent, insistent lips, while the heat pooled in your belly began sparkling, ready to burst. 

“I-I’m… I…” you huffed, nearly out of breath.

He thrust into you sharply and picked up a quicker pace. With that, you let go, orgasm hitting you like an avalanche, while you trembled, twisted and turned under Nanami. He came right after, muffling an almost shout with his mouth against your puffy lips, and his hips were slowing right until the movements stopped.

Your mind was blank and your sight grew dark, as you brushed the hair over his forehead with your fingertips away, a dumb smile on your face. He caved, falling beside you, pulling you in for a hug as you two drifted away.

***

You woke up, and realized you were sleeping with your stomach down. You had no idea what time it was, but the throbbing headache was relentless enough for you to not care about it. Looking to your side on the bed, you realized Nanami was nowhere to be found.

“What…?” You asked yourself, getting up and almost falling down in the process. His phone, which was on the nightstand before, was also gone. As you walked towards the room’s door, you saw that his blunt blade was gone too, and there were some toasts and an omelet ready on the table, accompanied by an assortment of toppings. The other side of the table, however, was empty, and over your chair there was a note.

For some reason, you had a bad feeling about it.

What was that about regret the morning after?

[itscookieoverlordtoyou]

40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers

Don’t you sometimes see those ask games and wish you could just fkg do them all? On this sunny Saturday, we make our dreams reality lolol

1.  Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Short fic, I usually get a small scene I want written so I write around it, plus I love short stories with interesting punchline.

2.  Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Probably, I don’t know them all ^^’

3.  Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Writing about stuff that disgust me I guess.

4.  How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Like 5-6? I want to write about a restaurant but set in a world where people have powers I think the combo could be very funny. The main character has the power of insight, the plonge is a giant pool where you swim around cleaning. Backstories of characters with shitty and amazing powers and how they ended up here. Rival to lover character that has the power to see into the future.

5. Share one of your strengths.

Dialogues, subversion, and humor; classmates often said I have a touch to spin a sad story into something positive/happier.

6.  Share one of your weaknesses?

I get tired when I describe something for longer than 4 sentences.

7.  Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“In what kind of trouble have we walked right into?”, I ask my companions as they’re idly fixing their attire. Together, we’ve face many perils and this mission ranks among one of the most dangerous. Yet, the others had been…how should I say it…professional! Rescuing kidnapped princesses, vanquishing terrifying monsters, quests to restore mythical artifacts, save nations from insidious plots. Oddly enough, “Does this dress make me look fat?”, is not the answer I’m looking for.

Ribbon in my hair is the first time I wrote about my knights, I first dreamt about them when I as 18, my boyfriend at the time called my idea stupid and my world building pointless so I only started writing about them when I was 21. Now I write about them a little bit every year :)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Do you really want your last words to be complaints?”

“I die as I lived.”

“Will we become a fruit tree?”

“I don’t think so, it’s never been the case for my ancestors.”

“I’d love it if we could turn into a banana tree.”

“I’m not from the southern regions, plus I like apples more.”

“Just imagine, our fruits could have been banana flambée”

This death scene was a big finale to a story I wrote for a class in Uni, a story of war between clan of forest and volcano people, of the supposedly brutal death of a Goddess, of a mysterious apple tree whose fruit give vision of the past. I should revisit it.

9.  Which fic as been the hardest to write?

My analysis on D’Artagnan and the figure of the hero. Granted it’s an essay for school but I deeply loved it. I was too afraid to write or ask for help from the professor in charge of me (which made our relationship tense ^^’) but when I did, it was beautiful and I was very proud got 89% :D

10.  Which fic has been the easiest to write?

A play called Adelaide where an old couple reads their old fairytale book about a Prince on a quest to save a Princess. They bicker about the other misreading the story but we finally get to the part where the Prince tosses the princess apart to get a better view of the dragon of which he falls instantly in love. The book is actually their wedding album.

11.  Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

It’s one of my passions, but it’s not something I think I could live on so I delegated it to my hobby.

12.  Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

The wedding scene in Shrek 2, my mind was blown when I saw it in theaters and when I need inspiration to write, I rewatch it.

13.  What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Presentation is important. If trying to read you gives people headaches, they’ll stop. Choose a nice big font, space with paragraphs, be mindful of your spelling and missing words. Read out loud because some things written are bad said.

14.  What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

I must’ve been lucky in this regard, I don’t think I’ve ever received advice that made me go NO, but I did have to listen/read stuff that made me gag.

15.  If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

I would love to the Adelaide acted out, some adjustments would be required because I’m no expert in play writing but I think I’d be great.

16.  If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Luyenor’a and Taram, names are placeholders as of now but they’re two of my knight, being the “only pairing I’m allow to write about forever” means I’d get more knight shenanigans done.

17.  Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I’m doing bullets point of what I want to happen and write stuff without much order. Some days I have no inspirations for what goes in the beginning but have loads for a later point. I surf the wave when it presents itself.

18.  Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Word on my computer, a notebook in my bag, the note app in my phone.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

I have little trinkets all around my computer to invite inspiration.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Freshly woken up, having eaten, drinking something sugary and sometimes apple cider because the alcohol help lower my inhibition.

21.  How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I read out loud at least once the whole thing, helps with missing words but dude I reread my stuff on ao3 and always find mistakes still ^^’

22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

I’m not going to put here because it’s in French and I don’t want to translate now but I wrote Vision of a world, mine when I was 16 and damn was I already depressed then?

23.  If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

The Princess and the Soldier, some gay fairytale I think my first one, I’m sure I can do better bow

I also have one about a janitor and it’s a murder mystery I could redo

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Once by accident, I was so angry I never rewrote it.

25.  What do you look for in a beta?

I don’t really use beta (beta reader right?) but I guess I’ve had like 3-4 when I was in Uni and had to read people’s wip and they read mine. They’d talk about what they liked, links they noticed, things that seemed weak or to change

26.  Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I usually just point out the stuff I like

27.  How do you feel about collaborations?

For a class in college, we had to act out a play we wrote collectively. Ten sketches written in pairs/alone. I made sure I was alone so I wouldn’t be saddled with someone else to write my sketch

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I don’t follow fic writers; I just am in a mood for a ship and read what’s available. I do like my friend @alumort ‘s fics tho ^^

29.  If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

There was a Phineas and Ferb fic focused on Perry I really loved. Their world building was something I’d never seen and they abandoned the story, so I did fanfic of a fic. Never dared to post it anywhere I mean it was their world to begin with.

30.  Do you accept prompts?

Of course, when inspiration is given I accept

31.  Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I don’t care about canon but I do love using it when there are little trivia to enrich the character.

32.  How do you feel about smut?

Love to read it sometimes, would love to write it. Some I’m like………….youveneverhadsexhaveyou…………………

33.  How do you feel about crack?

Love it!!!!!!!! I’m too self-conscious to write it tho. Oh maybe that could be a never before written trope I could try?

34.  What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

Rape I can’t, dub-con where underlying requited feelings exist but anxiety™ don’t let the characters express them but they’re drunk so it surfaces is okay

35.  Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Hell yeah! I do when/if the death makes sense (I am still pissed at Kishi for Neji)

36.  Which is your favorite site to post fic?

Ao3 is where I post,I used devianart when I had one

37.  Talk about your current wips.

Marry Me for the Love of Cake: God I’m so sorry to the few people who followed it, I said I’d pick it up before the end of 2019 and well……I have the ending in bullet points

Yours, with Love: I hope I’ll finish it…I have most of the ending in bullet points

I guess I’m into rom com at the moment lolol

38.  Talk about a review that made your day.

I made my best friend read All this for a Roll Cake, and she laughed so much at my work, I took a picture I look at from time to time to remain humble.

39.  Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Thankfully I’ve never received a rude review. My professor once told me it seemed kinda unnatural how unlucky my protagonist was vs. how lucky his love interest was (All this for a Roll Cake) but that was the whole point of the story so I just ignored her.

40.  Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Writing this I realised I lost my final version of All this for a Roll Cake T^T so I guess I’d rewrite the ending I have of the before the last version I still have.

Well this was fun ^^ got to revisit my works and remember many beloved pieces of fiction I wrote, I look forward to my next projects

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 218: Purse Pilferage and Mouse Murder

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan and Deku sparred in an attempt to draw out Deku’s mysterious new power once again, but to no avail. In a brief flashback, the OFA Scooby Squad (now including Bakugou!) discussed Deku’s recent visions and his multiple quirks. Kacchan pointed out that it was very similar to All for One’s power, which seems to be weighing on Deku’s mind some. That evening at the fanfic dorms, Shouto approached Deku asking if he had been hiding a second quirk. Deku assured him that the new quirk surprised him as much as everyone else, and fibbed that it was probably derived from his original quirk. Meanwhile the U.A. faculty accepted Shinsou into the hero course, and Aizawa acted all weird and cagey about someone from his past named “Shirakumo.” Later, Monoma met with Aizawa, Mirio, Deku, and Eri at the teachers’ dorms and unsuccessfully attempted to copy Eri’s quirk. Eri apologized for being so troublesome, and the others assured her that she wasn’t and Deku told her that even seemingly dangerous quirks can be used for good. It wasn’t lost on him that this applied to his own powers as well, and he resolved to keep working to master OFA.

Today on BnHA: Early one December morn, the kids of 1-A gather in their common room to watch some TV while they wait to hear if Bakugou and Todoroki passed their provisional license retest. The news is reporting on a company called Detnerat which has recently entered the hero equipment business. Their CEO is some Joker-looking dude who’s apparently a big fan of AFO’s old nemesis Destro of Meta Liberation Army fame. Destro’s book has recently been republished and is making the discussion rounds. DetCEO discusses it with his cute lil mouse subordinate Miyashita, but Miyashita isn’t really a fan. This proves unfortunate for Miyashita, as DetCEO is all “that’s too bad, guess I’m just gonna have to snap your neck then.” Like, for real though. Anyway so then DetCEO heads to a secret meeting of like-minded individuals who are apparently Destro’s descendants and are seeking to make his goals a reality. We then segue to a group of purse-snatchers led by someone who I really thought was Shirakumo for a hot minute, ngl. He’s not, though. Anyway so they’re wreaking some havoc and stealing people’s shit -- that is, until two good boys who just earned their provisional licenses after three months of hard work show up to spoil their fun.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 225, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

HOLY SHIT

BABY WE GOT OURSELVES SOME MOTHERFUCKING SNOW IN THE FANFIC DORMS!!!

holy shit. and it’s the weekend! ARE WE GONNA HAVE SOME ANTICSSSS YES PLEASE I REALLY NEED THIS SO BAD RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

KIRISHIMA WHY ARE YOU TAKING YOUR CLOTHES OFF

I hope they get a ton! I WANT SNOWBALL FIGHTS AND SNOW FORTS AND TODOROKI TO LET IT GOOOOOO LET IT GOOOOOOO

ahh but apparently he and Bakugou are away right now

wow they even got that class on Sundays now, huh

also, who did Sero borrow the tankoubon from? because more likely than not it was Bakugou since I can’t even picture Shouto reading manga (unless he borrowed some volumes from Deku, maybe). so that means Bakugou is (a) a big ol’ manga-reading nerd who brought his manga to school with him, and (b) sharing with friends. both of which make me so, so happy

(ETA: Viz translated this as “I want to borrow the next volume of this manga from Todoroki,” but as far as I can tell, in the RAW version he doesn’t specify who he borrowed it from. I think Caleb Cook just doesn’t think Bakugou is capable of sharing. give him some credit, Caleb Cook.)

Deku says they should be back around six, and Iida says it’s apparently the last day of their provisional class!

OHMYGOSH. hold up. so that means that their re-test is in like a week, no? holy shit. oh my god I’m so hypppppped ahhhhhh

SDLFKHASLDFKJLK HOLY SHIT

IT’S TODAY!?!??

YOU CAN DO IT KIDS I BELIEVE IN YOU. YOU GOT THIS

KACCHAN ARE YOU READY TO OFFICIALLY BECOME KACCHAN THE HERO

(ETA: maybe we’ll actually get Kacchan’s hero name before I grow old. maybe.)

SDFKASLDHK AND LOOK AT THIS SETUP!? AHHHHHH PLEASE DON’T CUT AWAY FROM THIS. OH MY GOD

but snow antics though. oh my god I’m so torn lsdkjlk

anyways of fucking course we cut away, and I don’t really mind because I love cozy 1-A snow day dorm antics also. plus everyone is gossiping about Todo and Baku, and Satou is baking a cake like the Princess Peach he is

Kami is playfully lamenting the fact that he’s about to lose the one leg-up he had on those two, and flipping on the news

oh shit are we gonna get some Plot

I guess so. what is this

Detnerat?? is that a portmanteau of something? an acronym? or another Star Wars reference I failed to pick up on??

(ETA: yeah so it’s the word “talented” spelled backwards. except with an r instead of an l.)

so the news is showing some people with mutant quirks, including a four-armed lady, a jello child, and a walrus with a bowler hat

and the narration is talking about how people like this used to be a minority but now “their era arrived”

interesting. I guess there’s pretty much no such thing as “one size fits all” anymore these days huh. so does that mean there’s been a shift back to custom-made tailored items?

this pointy nose guy is extremely theatrical

calm down buddy

so he says his company has come all this way while building products that meet the needs of each of their customers individually

this is cool and all but I’m trying to figure out why this new arc is opening with an infomercial

I’m expecting things all right, but I think it’s a little too early to say if they’ll be great

and now we’re cutting to this guy’s office, where his employee is concluding his presentation. apparently he was showing his boss the finished commercial

and now they’re discussing the thus-far lukewarm reception to their recent announcement

(ETA: holy shit. famous last words. fuckin’ jinxed it Miyashita.)

are you guys... good guys? bad guys? how is this related to the plot?? a new arc all about stock holdings and market shares. Iida did you write this arc

so pointy nose says that they’ve been doing this on a much larger scale for a long time already, so he’s confident they’ll be successful

oh shit

it only just occurred to me that he used the word “superpowers” instead of quirks

AND LOOK AT THIS SHIT

IT’S THAT BOOK. THE ONE THAT WAS PROBABLY WRITTEN BY DESTRO OMG

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IT WAS DESTRO. CALLED IT WOOP WOOP

Mishiwhatsa says he read the book too but “it’s a load of crap if you ask me”

he says that what the army was doing was nothing but terrorism at the expense of innocent people, and yet Destro “had the gall” to act like he was in the right

hot damn this guy really was Magneto. are we going full-on X-Men in this arc. I want the works. I want fucking sentinels and everything oh god please

oh shit I’m starting to worry about ol’ Mishi here

MIYASHITA, RUN

OH SHIT

IS HE GOING TO SNAP HIS FUCKING NECK!?? HOLY SHIT!??

holy fucking shitballs oh christ

this dude is straight up murdering his best employee, Nezu’s cousin, all because he didn’t agree with his favorite book!?

...

holy shit

fuck. I’m speechless

okay. okay shit. well. uh. Detnerat, huh

you have my attention, plot

hooooooooooly shit

holy shit holy shit holy shit

okay. calm down, self. let’s jot down some thoughts real quick

okay so one, that one shot of that guy with his hand on his hat has a decided Ian McKellen vibe to it. I’m telling you guys. X-Men references all over the damn place in this arc

two, the word “supremacy” was used. meaning this wasn’t just a “quirk rights” group, this was a quirk supremacist group. or is a quirk supremacist group, I should say. these people believe themselves to be the future of humankind. they don’t want liberation, they want control. and assuming we continue to follow the X-Men parallels here, they also believe themselves to be superior to those without superpowers and they’re looking to assert their authority over them

they clearly believe the current laws restricting the usage of quirks are a form of oppression and persecution and are looking to eradicate them

this seems like exactly the type of philosophy the League of Villains would be eager to spread, and I wouldn’t be surprised if another team-up is in the works here

lastly, if these guys are now in the business of making hero equipment, whoever buys from them had better be really careful, as I can easily see some sort of Iron Man 2 plotline going down in which there’s a secret command built into the coding of the new equipment which will sabotage its users once activated. or if you’d rather think of it in Star Wars terms rather than MCU, call it an “order 66” ploy

(ETA: well I partly called this one. still up in the air honestly, who knows.)

also: friendly reminder that Bakugou’s gauntlets were recently destroyed and he’s gonna be needing new ones! (:

so having said all that, let’s see how this pans out!

and right away, the prediction about them teaming up with the League is panning out. waste no time, huh

so Hooknose is telling him to do so at once

oh shit hold up

WELL I SURE GOT THAT BACKWARDS NOW DIDN’T I

lol oh shit. I totally forgot that AFO was the one who bombed the Army’s HQ all those decades and possibly centuries ago. I can’t believe these guys still remember that and know how AFO was connected to boot

also, is there a Rorschach thing going on here? I wonder if it’s a reference to the psychologist or to the comic book character from Watchmen. I’m betting the latter given the way they’re using the inkblots as masks, and also because this is a manga based on superhero comics after all

(ETA: yeah, Rorschach, Joker, and Magneto... drawing on a lot of classic villains and anti-heroes in this arc.)

ah so now we’re getting details on their new bid to enter the hero market

HOLD UP

WHAT THE FUCK THIS GUY LOOKS AWFULLY FUCKING FAMILIAR

IS THIS SHIRAKUMO??? AIZAWA WERE YOU NOT CONTENT WITH THE STRIKING SIMILARITY YOU ALREADY BORE TO KAKASHI? HAD TO GO AND ADD THE OLD FRIEND TURNED EVIL BACKSTORY TOO?? OR WHAT

given that this guy seems to have some sort of cloud-based power (look at what he’s riding! and now the people he just harassed and stole from are describing it as “carbonated water”), and kumo means “cloud”...

(ETA: nope, this is just good ol’ Soda Sam. Carbonation Carl.)

okay and now we’re cutting to a conversation between two as-yet-unknown parties that seem to be witnessing this robbery from a distance, and deciding whether or not to intervene

for a moment I entertained the idea that this might be Kacchan and Shouto with their hot-off-the-presses licenses, possibly talking to All Might? but none of this dialogue seems to have that Kacchan flair, and it also doesn’t make much sense for them to have attended the lesson accompanied by All Might and no one else. Aizawa’s been pretty good about making sure there’s always at least one other fighting pro accompanying them

so now this group of merry bandits is celebrating their new haul

OH SHITTTTTTT

ODDS OF THIS BEING BAKUGOU AND SHOUTO JUST SHOT WAAAAAAAAAY WAY UP OH MY GOD?!

OH MY GOD IT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT?!

I SHOULD STOP DOUBTING MYSELF AND HORIKOSHI’S PROPENSITY FOR GIVING ME EXACTLY WHAT I WANT ALL OF THE TIME

motherfucker. you just know Kacchan spent that entire cab ride with his nose pressed to the window trying to sense danger and keeping his fingers crossed something like this would happen

(ETA: him and Shouto both, since the dialogue suggests it was Shouto that spotted it first! so basically one of them stationed at each window with All Might sandwiched in between wondering if he’s even going to survive this trip. the answer is yes, All Might, but not without it becoming Eventful.)

also, 30 minutes or 30 seconds, it hardly matters All Might. you know these two spent the last three months anticipating this moment every single minute of every day. they’re gonna go do reckless hero shit, All Might. THEY’RE JUST GONNA

oh my godddddddd

TodoBaku fighting against Aizawa’s possible friend-turned-villain in the snowwwwww having JUST EARNED THE SHIT OUT OF THEIR NEW LICENSES HELL YEAHHHHHHHHH

and it appears Kacchan does have a gauntlet. goddammit. make that propensity for giving me almost exactly what I want, most of the time

anyways, I don’t really care! life is good. life is fucking amazing, fam

[runningwolf62]

@wardencommanderrodimiss @pachelbelsheadcanon

The new chapter is here featuring emotional whiplash and allegiances finally.

On AO3

What happens next is a series of incidents so coincidental and yet so perfectly aligned Larry would be tempted to call it fate. He had headed to a book store to chill and he would swear he’d just gone in to look for a book for Nick or Edgey as a Christmas present. Nothing dramatic, he’d just been caught up on his word count for the day and he’d wanted to shop and treat himself and get things out of the way so he didn’t come out of December confused and lacking presents for anyone.

And while he was there he’d remembered his promise to himself to get Tallstar’s Revenge, after WolfDragon had recommended it. So there he was in the children’s section, looking through the Warrior cats section - which he had half a mind to sort because someone respected neither series nor numbers and honestly it was a disaster trying to find anything, was this supposed to be alphabetical, because he was not going to find Tallstar’s Revenge at all like this - when the book caught his eye.

The Magic Bottle.

A simple title really, but the art on the cover was beautiful. Larry abandoned the Warrior Cats books for a moment to pick up this one, whoever the cover artist was they were fantastic at their job because Larry was for sure curious now. He flipped it over to scan the back, and cracked it open.

Well it turned out Elise Deauxnim could both write and draw, and Larry was enthralled. God where had she been when he was a kid, this shit was fantastic. He ended up buying it and after asking a worker, maybe making an excuse of shopping for a niece (listen that was the simplified version of what Pearl was and if he liked the book this much he might tell Nick to get it for her for Christmas so you know, valid) he also got Tallstar’s Revenge.

Now Tallstar’s Revenge was great, especially by Warrior standards, but he kept coming back to The Magic Bottle, the art, the characters, the pacing, it was fantastic. It made him want to write kid’s books.

Why not? You’re a really good writer and it’s not like you’re unfamiliar with kid’s lit

Thanks!

But she’s super good and I wouldn’t even know where to begin!

Stripes stop selling yourself short you’re a fantastic writer

Stripes?

I’ve mentally called you that for years deal with it

I guess it beats Orange.

“Graypaw what have I told you about talking to basketballs”

What?

Okay I’m sending you that parody as soon as I find a link to it but you should go for it! You’re talented currently inspired also unemployed

Thanks

Hey, I meant now more than ever is your chance

So what should I do?

Google this author see what else she’s written and maybe write her some fan mail

“Hi I’m a twenty-something dude, huge fan”

Look Mr. smartass if you don’t want my help

I’m just worried I’ll come off as weird!

Then lie, say it was for a nephew or something and you were really impressed too and it made you want to try writing children’s lit, how did she get started

Think she’ll answer?

She might

Worth a try

Well I did read it so only fair I review it.

Atta boy, go get ‘em

Larry grins to himself and does exactly as Wolf suggested, googling Elise Deauxnim to find that she had a PO Box. With some help and a little more encouragement from Wolf, he sends off the letter. Then he tries to calm down by focusing on his NaNo, which is mostly just him writing oneshots and a chapter or two of the fic. He hasn’t brought in Godot yet because he’s not sure what the absolute hell is going on there and he doesn’t like thinking about that day in court. He keeps sending out his resume but after how he lost his last job he’s thinking it’s a good thing he has as much in savings as he does, and he’s thinking about emergency commissions.

Until the letter arrives. He’s not sure he believes what he’s seeing but a photo sent to Wolf on discord proves that not only did Elise Deauxnim not think he was a creepy loser, she was encouraging him. She wanted to see some of his art and writing so she could tell him where he might find some agents interested in him.

DUDE

RIGHT I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW!

AGGHHHH!

That’s amazing!

AGGGHHH!

I told you you were an amazing author

OH GOD WHAT DO I SEND HER

Not the Warriors Fanfic

OBVIOUSLY

Look, take a deep breath, and like, think of a story

Doesn’t have to be great, just some kids story thing

Do some art with it

Oh god, dude that’s terrifying, every idea I had just vanished.

Alright, listen you don’t have to write the damn thing just the first three pages of something

Uh, what are kids into these days?

Great question

I’m super good at drawing cats, what do I do with that?

Write Warriors but gay

Don’t we call that Wings of Fire?

Shots fired

More seriously, what do I do with that?

Well you’re good with a very open world series with a set of rules that is easily adapted to a setting

And cat anatomy

So I’d take those elements and make it into something

That’s a horrifying Chimera.

…

You know, that could be a plot hook

What?

Well like kids love monsters right?

Write a series with a Chimera as the main character, it’s part lion

Dude, you’re a genius, I owe you my life, and the response of “no thanks I’ve seen it, I don’t want it” is probably valid

Well get to it writer-boy, you’ll do great

What he ends up with is a book series about various mythological monsters on an adventure, and an offer from Elise Deauxnim to be an apprentice under her. He says yes, of course. He moves out of his apartment and to a smaller and cheaper one closer to where she works.

It’s awkward at first, on both ends. He can tell he’s not what she expected but he tries. She helps him with his writing, telling him what his strengths are first and then slowly moving to where he needs some polishing. It’s still strained though.

The breakthrough comes one afternoon, when Larry’s phone alarm goes off. He reaches over, swipes it off, and then flips the sketchbook page he’s on to start drawing something else.

Elise, - she insist he call her Elise which is weird to him but she’s a firm but matronly woman and so he obeys – looks up at the sound.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you,” he offers a quick sheepish grin but she only looks more confused.

“Did you force yourself to get a drawing complete in a certain amount of time? You know that won’t make it turn out well.”

“Oh, no,” Larry flips back to the previous drawing to show her that it’s far from complete, “I got art block so rather than sit here and think about how I had the perfect image if I could only draw it for the next hour I worked on something else for ten minutes.”

“You’re quite talented at drawing cats,” she remarks, and Larry grins.

“I’d hope after how long I’ve been drawing them.”

“So this ten minutes of drawing, does it help?”

“Kind of yeah,” Larry pulls his sketch book back to him, looking at the sketch of Cherrywing and Spiritstar, he should draw Maya and Mia sometime. Maybe- no probably not for Christmas but at some point he should. “It forces me to relax and focus on something else, and get the creative juices flowing while I work on something that’s just for me so there’s no pressure or anything. That’s why I can only do it for ten minutes or I’d never get any actual work done!”

“That’s very clever,” she’s focusing on him now and Larry can only shrug, it’s just something that’s worked for him.

“Are those your cats?”

Oh no.

“Uh no, they’re-” he scrambles for a moment, “they’re just cats.”

Elise looks at him with a look of doubt but doesn’t press, instead she turns her focus on the picture, her eyes softening as she looks at Spiritstar and Cherrywing sitting together, “you have a real talent for capturing the emotion of a scene, there’s something very peaceful and loving about it, even for a sketch.”

Larry blinks in surprise, “thank you!” That was very much what he had been going for and he was pleased that he had succeeded at such.

Elise smiles at him, “you have such a talent for landscapes too, the nature looks natural while still framing them.”

Larry rubs the back of his neck with a grin, “now you’re going to give me an ego,” he jokes but he hopes she understands how grateful he is.

By the way she looks at him she does.

-

Merry Christmas Nick!!

merry xmas

 Hey Maya, Merry Christmas!

Message failed to send.

Figures.

Message failed to send.

-

You okay man?

I

I appreciate your concern Larry but yes, I am fine

If you need to call just let me know

Before you joke yes I’m single this Christmas

That’s a kind offer but I am with my sisters

THERE’S ANOTHER ONE?!?

Her daughter has a dog named Phoenix

Holy shit

Quite

-

Merry Christmas Stripes!

Merry Christmas Wolfman!

-

Larry has to say, having your mentor frame and hang your finished and signed piece because she likes it so much is like having your parents hang art on the fridge but somehow a thousand times better.

They spend the winter working, her on her story and on helping Larry grow as an artist and writer and working on her own story.

Larry helps where he can with that, mostly by trying not to bother her when she looks busy but she does ask him to do some illustrations for her, citing his abilities with landscapes. He accepts and pours his heart and soul into it.

SHE’S GOING TO HATE IT

NO SHE WON’T JUST GIVE IT TO HER

AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH

Dude

Fine! Fine!

You’ve got this, you’re a really good artist and you’ve said she’s proud of you

As she should be

So you’ve got this

Thanks man

Go get it writer-boy

You gonna buy my book Wolfman

Of course

Larry can’t help but smile at that.

But you’ve got to publish it first

Rude.

Larry tucks his phone into his pocket and hands the portfolio over to Elise. She accepts them with a smile and begins to flip through them, seeming oblivious to Larry’s nervous shuffling. She pauses at one and studies while Larry does his best to not explode or start nervously babbling.

“These are beautiful,” she remarks and Larry can feel his shoulders sag in relief, “you’ve done fantastic work.”

“Thank you, I went to the park a lot to try and get all the details right.”

“It shows,” she continues to leaf through them, Larry feels more confident so he begins to point to details he feels proud of or wants to make sure she notices.

“These are just the illustrations my book needed if you’ll allow me to use them.”

“I, uh, yes!” Larry stares at her eyes about to jump out of his skull, wait until he tells Nick! He’s successful now, look at him!

Elise laughs fondly and hands them back, “hold on to these and let me talk to my agent but that’s exactly the kind of work I couldn’t find anywhere else, your watercolor style is just what I needed.”

Larry is going to cry and just manages to thank her long enough for him to slip out and tell Wolf everything.

I’m proud of you Stripes

I’m proud of me! I feel like I’m really making myself a new person!

He’s tempted to also tell Nick but he decides to wait. To drop the book on Nick’s desk at his office. That’s how he’ll do it.

Okay so get this

Yeah?

Apparently my last name “can’t be taken seriously by publishers”.

And I thought elementary school kids were hurtful.

Oh my god

So she’s going to have me use her last name.

WHAT

Her publisher loves the idea too.

Makes me look like family.

Which sells or something?

Hey I’ll take it, I’m getting paid.

So what name should I keep an eye out for

Larry pauses, they’ve never told each other their real names, years of being Wolf and Stripes and now occasionally Writer boy and Wolfman on top of having internet safety drilled into them has always stopped them.

Look for Laurice Deauxnim.

As your number one fan I want a signed copy at some point

-

“Larry,” he looks up from his typing craze at the sound of his name, he’s made a lot of progress on this chapter and with Elise’s help he’s hoping to get it done and sent to publishers by May. That’s his new year’s resolution, getting published this year.

Elise pauses her typing and he hears her sigh. He looks up to her, her face is set and determined but when she looks to him he thinks he sees regret.

“Larry, I’m afraid a situation has come up and I know it’s very last minute but unless you want to come to a monastery with me I’m afraid you’re going to have to spend the next week or so without me.”

“What?” Larry feels a surge of panic not unlike the time he discovered he hadn’t saved in an hour, “a monastery? Why are you- where are you going?”

“Hazakura Temple,” she replies with a pause, Larry has never heard of it but he pulls it up on google quick enough. A teaser for an upcoming edition of the “Oh! Cult” Magazine pops up with some lovely images. Looks cold but interesting.

“Sure I’ll come. I’ve had art block for the past week maybe trying to do some temple scenes will help!”

Elise pauses and smiles kindly, “if you really want to…”

“I need some winter scene practice too,” Larry is not looking forward to wandering around the cold but Elise was going there for some reason, maybe he’ll find a muse there as well.

He flicks his finger over the picture hanging on the wall, the one that still made him smile to see there, “and I’ll give you a winter scene to compliment the summer one.”

Whatever hesitation Elise seems to be having vanishes as she laughs softly, “alright. Make sure to dress warm.”

And in honor of @pachelbelsheadcanon‘s fantastic art, here’s a list of the allegiances. 

SpiritClan

Leader

Spiritstar – a cream she-cat with darker paws and face

Deputy

Darkleaf – a dark brown tom

Medicine Cat

Cherrywing – a cream she-cat with darker striped paws and face

Apprentice: Splashpaw

Warriors

Firebirdstorm – a bright orange tabby with spikey fur

Orangestripe – an orange tabby tom with scruffy fur

Beetlelight – a brown tabby tom with a white chin

Apprentices

Splashpaw – a white she-cat with brown paws and face

 Demon’s Group

Demon – a dark gray tom with thick fur, especially on his chest, formerly Sharppaw of SpiritClan

Viper – a gray she-cat with cold blue eyes, formerly a rogue

Timber – a brown tabby tom with messy fur

Bird – a calico she-cat with mostly dark red patches

Wolf – large thick furred gray tom

[fantompainblog]

Halo: Finishing the Fight-"Abraca-F*k You, Dark Elves"

Image: https://www.deviantart.com/josephcaesarsd/art/HALO-FORWARD-UNTO-DAWN-clr-111502340 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4108390/1/Halo-Finishing-the-Fight

Author: Red Mage 04

Official Summary: The Ark wasn’t the end. Stranded on an alien world where the rules of reality no longer apply, the Master Chief and his allies will face new challenges. When darkness rises, they must show that sometimes, a few brave souls can make all the difference.

Fandoms: Halo and Forgotten Realms

Publication Date: March 2, 2008

Status: Complete

Length: 410,103 words, 47 chapters

Rating: T

Introduction: Halo: Finishing the Fight is one of the first fanfics I ever read, it was all the way back in like, 2008 or 09, I was in the eighth grade and just started tooling around on TV Tropes.org. There I discovered their fanfic recs section, which, spoiler alert, is how I encountered the majority of the stuff we’re gonna talk about on this blog. As for the fic itself, it combines so many things that I love, big long epics, sci-fi, fantasy, sci-fi interacting with fantasy, Halo, and crossovers. Ah, the crossover, one of the most fun parts of fan fiction. Sure there are plenty of crossovers in official media, but they tend to be insubstantial one-offs, while fan fiction, being free from copyright law and the logistics of creators having to work together, can just go nuts. And boy does Finishing the Fight go nuts. The Source Material:

In case you’re unfamiliar with Halo, it’s a first person shooter franchise set in the far future, where enhanced super-soldier Master Chief John-117 battles the Covenant, a theocratic alien alliance, and stumbles upon a mysterious artificial ring-world built by an extinct race. I love Halo; it's one of those things that I got into when I was young, got a lot of good memories of playing with my dad and my friends. So now I have a permanent soft spot for it, I've played most of the games and read almost all the spin-off novels. First-person shooters have a reputation for shallow plots, but Halo has a pretty fleshed out universe. There’s a lot of good sci-fi to be found in the Halo books, at least if you’re into military sci-fi. Finishing the Fight is set right after Halo 3, where the war against the Covenant has been ended, and the Master Chief and his allies escape an exploding artificial planet via a space portal. Some important notes for Halo fans going into this fic: The author alters the ending of Halo 3, two characters that canonically die survive, and their spaceship gets through the portal in one piece. This story was also written way before Halo 4 and the Forerunner trilogy, so it presents its own version of some things revealed in those stories. Oh, one more thing, Finishing the Fight was also written before the Arbiter's real name was revealed, and thus uses a different name for the character. Forgotten Realms is one of the official Dungeons & Dragons settings, and the location of numerous book series and video games, the ones pertinent to this fic are the Legend of Drizzt series and Neverwinter Nights 2. In general, it’s a high fantasy setting with plenty of fantastical races and creatures running around, powerful magic, and a pantheon of deities that actively interact with mortals. You don’t need to know a lot about Forgotten Realms to get into this story; I certainly didn't. I've played plenty of Dungeons & Dragons in my time, but my experience with Forgotten Realms is limited to this story, as well as it being, ostensibly, the setting of the fantastic D&D podcast the Adventure Zone. Thus I can't really comment much on the author's portrayal of the setting and its characters. The Fic:

The plot of Finishing the Fight goes like this: After escaping the Ark at the end of Halo 3, the Master Chief and his pals crash land in Faerun, the land where Forgotten Realms is set. They meet up with a group of locals, including a Dwarf king, a part-demon thief, and a renegade Dark Elf. But after making contact, the Chief and friends are drawn into a war as an empire of subterranean Dark Elves, or Drow, are planning on invading the surface. And since the Drow are really into slavery, torture, and other nasty things, Chief and company end up opposing them. And of course, there are the machinations of higher powers going on behind the scenes. As I mentioned earlier, this fic has a lot of things that I'm a sucker for, but that being said, I think there's some stuff that could turn people off. There's a lot of description of futuristic military technology and the gruesome things it can do to people, and if that's not your bag, that's fair. Finishing the Fight will also be our introduction to something I like to call the Outside-Context Curb Stomp. It's when two franchises are in a crossover, and the internal rules of one side leave them unprepared for what the other side can do, leading to one-sided confrontations. And a lot of this story involves monsters, wizards, and dudes with swords getting blown away by future weapons. But to be fair, this story doesn't revel in the violence; it's rightly portrayed as horrific. Nor do the Halo characters try and lord any moral superiority over the Forgotten Realms characters. Finishing the Fight also avoids getting too one-sided, the villains, while obviously unprepared for guns and energy weapons, are still competent, and their immense magical powers and sheer numbers mean they still pose a threat to our heroes. The Drow are also a bunch of arrogant, evil, dirt-bags, so it is quite satisfying to watch them get their shit pushed in over the course of the story. I’m not gonna sit here and say Finishing the Fight is like, super deep or anything, but it is a whole lot of fun. The characters are fleshed out enough to be engaging, the plot takes a lot of interesting twists and turns, and the author knows how to write a damn fine action scene. And I'll never get tired of reading about fantasy characters interacting with sci-fi stuff. Even without this being one of my first fics, I still think I would put Finishing the Fight on my list of All-Time Faves. Next Time: We go to the year 2012 to examine some fiction from one of the most notorious fandoms to ever emerge from the murky depths of the internet. That's right folks, it's time to talk about Ponies.

[shyanlibrary]

Hey there, I'm in the mood to be absolutely destroyed by some sad shit, so can you please give me some good, angsty tearing-my-fucking-heart out shyan fic recs? Give me as many as you have. I'd be very grateful (and hopefully devastated at the end of it heh)

Welcome to Sad Town, everyone ~ Please note that most of these either have Major Character Death warning or no Happy Ending.

The Body That Lies by Lafayette1777

Summary: Ryan is dead and haunting Shane. Because he misses him, of course.

But also to prove a point.

Rated: Not Rated (T)

Commentary: Ah, that beautiful Major Character Death that makes you wish you were the one dead. This fic destroyed me since the first time I read it and it’s also my favorite ghost story in the fandom. Like– we got some really good stuff with the AU, but this one is– like, kind of, the most realistic and human I’ve read so far.

It gives you a grief that resonates with you, your soul, it breaks your heart and makes you cry. It takes you from the extraordinary beginning to the human ending, and it makes you believe at the end. It’s wonderful.

contrapposto by spoopyy

Summary: Ryan works in a museum. Shane doesn’t understand art. They fall in love.

Rated: T

Commentary: Listen, if you wanna die, this is ya fic. Before I read it, I kept seeing in tumblr that it was the best story in the fandom, and when I finally found it while reading all the fics, I didn’t even look at the summary, the tags, the anything, I just went directly to read it.

Boy. Did that one scene that is gonna kill you destroyed me nicely.

I’m still not over this fic and I will never be. It worked me out in ways no story had before and it made me sob like a motherfucker. Never sobbed this much while reading a fanfic before, holy shit.

we dream of storms by adenophora

Summary: Ryan has the lighthouse, and he has the sea. He’s adapted to the solitude, even if he wasn’t built for it. And then there’s Shane.

Rated: T

Commentary: Because I love suffering and being dead, this is actually one of my favorite fanfics in the fandom. If you read my comment on it, you’ll notice I spend days thinking about it and overthinking about what it meant and the imagery of it. Hell, I even though– you know, that’s a spoiler. So. Read and come talk to me about it.

Dance Till You Drop by wheezebaby

Summary: In which Shane and Ryan are 16th-century painters, and Shane has a knack for dancing.

Rated: M (But it’s actually more like T)

Commentary: Based on that one time people dance until they died, this fic explores Shane and Ryan’s relationship in a very interesting way– it’s very well written, the historic background of it it’s well done and reserched, an interesting piece to read. I second this rec.

but i’m still here, i hope you know by BooyahFordhamYacht

Summary: he always wanted to get lost in it. that deep dark sea of believing in something more. he wanted to feel the surge of the waters accepting him, wanted to understand what was so addictive about it. shane never realized the price he’d have to pay to be pulled under the surface into the cold, unforgiving roaring swells of the ocean.

AN: so i promised some commenters on for you to be happy and loved that i would write some happy shyan after that heartbreak. This… this is not that. This may actually be worse. Don’t read if you don’t feel like crying.

Title from Keaton Henson’s amazing song Alright. Go listen to it and cry if you want.

Rated: T

Commentary: This author is fantastic, they write a world you can understand and imagine in such a poetic way, you are going to be sobbing from the start to the bottom. The way they describe grief is just… Man, this is good, this is very good. Kinda not very happy with Sara, though; I feel very sorry for her in this fic. Also, of course– Major Character Death. But with an S. This doesn’t have a happy ending.

Nana by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: I sat with you beside your bed and criedFor things that I wish I’d said

You still had your nose red

And if I live past seventy-two, I hope I’m half as cool as you

Ryan is ready.

Rated: Not Rated (I’ll say T)

Commentary: This should be rated DEATH FOR YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, because is a soul-destroyer fic. Dude, the ending. Dude, be prepared.

for another life time by Hugabug

Summary: "I’m scared.“

“Never. You were always brave for the both of us.”

Rated: G

Commentary: Also known as I Love Death And Being Dead, this fic killed me in the most amazing way. It’s as sweet as it is sad at the beginning, you will love it if your thing is to hurt but always end with a big smile.

Big God by fuckcitybitch

Summary: The time comes for Shane to stop running and reap what he carelessly sewed.

Rated: T

Commentary: More than angst, this is pure horror and fear, and that’s exactly why it will destroy your soul. It has NO happy ending, Major Character Death, horror, dead babies, all you need to not sleep and cry like a baby. 

But for real, what a wonderful story. It’s so well done, so well writen. I love this author, they are one of the bests and this fic is just incredible.

Metacommunication by americanchemicals

Summary: Communication is important in any relationship. Metacommunication, or communicating about communicating, was equally as important. Because when there are misunderstandings, things quickly go downhill.

Rated: T

Commentary: Dear Lord, the angst in this one is just damn frustrating. So many things could had been avoided with better communication... and it’s so good to read... these two grown ass men being idiots in love... it hurts so much. Love this fic.

You Are on the Fastest Available Route by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: “It’s in the light.“

[Based on the Local 58 YouTube Series]

Rated: T

Commentary: BOY. I fell in love with this fanfic. It may seem weird for some people, it may get scary at some point (hint: it fucking is), but there’s something so incredible about it. It’s everything, I guess. This fanfic is the kind of stuff I would put my students to comment on Creative Writing Workshop, it’s THAT good.

when the tide comes by AnastasiaYu

Summary: the disappearance of ryan bergara.

Rated: T

Commentary: To quote Luke Skyalker, “this is not going to end the way you think”. This is… so sad. The ending is, wow, one of my favorites. The original ending. Althought the second ending is also good. But the first! So sad! So good!

may i say i loved you more by luntian

Summary: He felt Ryan’s warm palm on his shoulder. By then he knew he couldn’t lie anymore.“I—well, uh…” Shane inhaled deeply, “Promise me you’ll believe.

”Ryan was puzzled, but he nodded almost immediately.

After a long pause, Shane finally continued, “I’m not human.”

“What?” Ryan whispered. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Well, I was human, then—and then I died.” Ryan stared. Shane realized he was making no sense. He sighed, “Okay, listen. I am an angel.” Shane glanced at Ryan, trying to see his reaction but he saw no expression on his face. “I was sent on Earth to, uh, complete some mission.”

“You’re an alien?!”

“I’m an angel!”

/or/

Shane is an angel with a time limit. And a boyfriend.

Rated: Not Rated (T)

Commentary: Angel Shane AU that for a second seems to be all happy– then it’s not. I cried a lot.

we match by hugabug

Summary: “I love you in grey.“

Rated: G

Commentary: Now, this is pure pain. Someone dies. The other one is left old and sad. I fucking cried.

and he takes and he takes by cooliohoolio

Summary: Shane wants to say I will be dead within the next year. He wants to say the flowers in my lungs are there because of you. He wants to say I’m in love with you and it’s killing me.

Rated: Not Rated (T)

Commentary: Hanahaki is always the real deal here, it’s 100% suffering and in this fandom, it always ends sad. And ironic. This fic in particular writes the ficitonal condition as something more than it usually is, it uses it in a poetic way that allows to explore the depth of Shane’s feelings and also allows us to die a little bit more with each word. Such a great fanfic, so well writen, so well characterized, so well peppered with the best kind of angst.

I Miss You by KnittingGuru1984

Summary: Shane had never believed in the supernatural. That was Ryan’s department. When Ryan is suddenly taken from him in an accident, Shane has his life turned upside down.

Rated: G

Commentary: Oh, this one is hard to take. It’s sad, it really is. And it doesn’t end well either, it’s… also kinda scary. The ending gave me the chills because… oh God. You gotta read it, I’m not spoiling it, lol.

with shortness of breath (you explained the infinite) by hugabug

Summary: "Shane?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Why won’t you look at me?”

Rated: T

Commentary: Part of this series that literally estroyed my life, in this one we… we find out how those five years of Shane alone started. Man. It is freakin’ sad.

But if it’s Not Right (What Can I Do?) by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Ryan Bergara, host of True Crime on Buzzfeed Radio, attracts the wrong person’s attention.

A twisted version of Pichiba’s radio!au.

Rated: T

Commentary: I LOVE FUCKED UP SHIT, and this one is one of the bests in the fandom. For real, I love this AU and I love how well Joey wrote the sick part of it all. The ending just jfbnfdinfir gave me the chills, it’s damn amazing.

Oblivion by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: Tragic consequences typically follow when a god falls in love with a human. Typically…

Based on the comment:“My theory is that Shane is the devil and was just super bored. Then one day he chanced upon a poor scared Ryan and thought “this is pretty fun” and now follows him to supernatural sights to have a giggle at his expense. But that’s also why they never capture anything on video, because the evil spirits and demons know Shane for who he really is and are too afraid to mess with him.”

Rated: M

Chapters: 3/3

Commentary: This fic means a lot to me. It has been one of my favorites for a long time and I feel like I’m going to love it forever. Because it has such a powerful feeling to it and the way they are characterized and put together in this fic is very unique and original, and no fic will ever top it. It deserves all the love, my man, it’s incredible.

[skullhaver]

finished the stone sky. scroll fast through this one if the read more isn’t working. it’s a long one and full of spoilers.

SPOILERS  SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

The Stone Sky feelings… hard to sift through.

The last battle between Essun and Nassun was very well-written. Super dramatic and action-packed and somehow I followed all of it, even though it was an abstract battle of magical wills and energy-harnessing, basically?? Very easy to write badly, and Nora wrote it very well. My mouth was literally open and I felt my heart pounding, listening to it.

At the end of all things… I feel so hollowed out and like I lost so much.

Essun lost HER WHOLE BODY by the end. Like, she lost herself piece by piece. Only way to get something good is to destroy the bad and rebuild something brick by brick. Was Essun too broken by the world to go on? Isn’t Nassun? Was there a particular moral of Essun's story, or was that just The Way Things Are? I love her resilience and overwhelming strength and stubbornness in the face of so much loss, and I admit I don't understand her final choice to be bested by Nassun, to give up and let her kiddo decide the fate of the world. Unless Essun had no choice and Nassun was too powerful? But the text clearly makes it volitional. I guess she makes the choice to save her daughter's life if she can do nothing else.

I feel like we didn’t *exactly* get a conclusion for Nassun. I wish I could have had a glimpse of her future, bonding with Danel maybe, some inklings of becoming a lorist? Even that might be too much. But some indication that someday she could heal. I’m grateful that Nora didn’t labor over a long denouement, but I guess I need to write some fanfic or something to soothe my aching heart. SO MUCH SHIT happened to this clever, compassionate ten year old.......

I wanted…. Another Alabaster mention at the end. Even though he was never the focus of the story. But I wanted him and Essun to meet again, maybe. I really do love how Nora wrote Alabaster as gay, but loving Essun. I honestly empathize with him very deeply, as a (NO GENDER LABEL FOUND, AFAB & ONLY WANTS TO BE IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN) who has several loving, deep friendships with men, including having sex with men. Alabaster’s character reflected my own experience. The way he thought about Innon and Essun in his journal entries in Core Point….. ahhh the feelings.

This book buried a lot of dudes and comparatively fewer women. Innon, Alabaster, Corondum, Uche, Jija, Lerna. Cutter, too, tho he was a more minor character. That one boy in Found Moon that Nassun stoned. And finally, poor Schaffa. That contributes to the hollowing-out feeling. It’s such a crude comparison, but I’ve never read a book series except for Game of Thrones that killed so many characters that I cared about. But unlike Game of Thrones, all these men were actually important to one character - the main character. I feel like *I* lost like a half-dozen men who I loved, or maybe disliked but still appreciated them.

I deeply appreciated a story about a character who moved on after loss after loss. It defied stereotypical story structure. Usually a character has one true love, one great loss, one phase of being a parent. But in this series, Essun’s world ends again and again. And you keep moving, even when it feels like you’ve lost everything. But it felt torrential, ceaseless. Never read such a fuckin bleak book series. Which is why I appreciated Castrima so much, and Ykka in particular!

Castrima is such an inspirational post-post apocalypse society. Ykka’s grounding presence is inspiring. The people have been through so much and care for each other. The casual, wholesome bisexuality, polyamory, monogamy, and romance for transgender characters – healing! Fantastic! Creating a vision of how orogenes and stills could live together and help each other. And I loved how much about Castrima was day-to-day management. “Shit, there’s a food shortage.” “Ugh, somebody’s gotta learn how the water treatment process works.” “Hmm, a lady got pregnant and wasn’t supposed to.” Like, I study public administration, and these day-to-day problems of leadership and resource management are vital and dear to my heart. Ykka is the kind of leader I aspire to be. A testament to the fact that this IS a kind of hopeful story, despite everything, is that Ykka and Castrima made it out alive.

The satisfaction of the second person being Hoa telling Essun her story back to her is sort of growing on me. I never questioned the second person, maybe because I’m a Homestuck? The trauma/PTSD thing just made sense for me, plus I talk to myself in the second person, too. But Hoa telling her story back to her was a neat addition.

The stone eaters being super unresolved…. That’s kind of painful for me. Did I want them all to die? Guess not. No easy resolution to be found there. But I guess they get to influence the events of the new world, just like humans do. Non-stone eater humans? Hoa regards himself as human, or perhaps as a person. At first the Syl Anagist chapters were hard to get into, but I really liked learning about the stone eaters’ world. Managed to tell a very exposition-heavy story while keeping it a story, not just codex entries. Codex makes me think of the fact that DAMN the story of the Fulcrum/orogenes really is the ascended version of the Circle of Magi / mages in Dragon Age. I know Nora has played these games and they were probably an influence, but everything that was sloppy and confusing about the mages felt taken to its logical conclusion by the treatment of orogenes. By stills and by guardians.

We spent a lot of time with Schaffa only to kind of drop him at the end a little bit. Again like with Alabaster, I know he wasn’t the focus of the story, but he was a POV character. Did he speak to Nassun again, before he died?? Did he get more minor moments of caring for Nassun, especially after she had to grow up so very fast to take care of him?

Sliiiightly repetitive writing. Take a drink every time someone shakes their head, not in negation, but in confusion. Take a drink every Tonkee blinks, or Nassun bites her lip.

That said, the overall pacing of the book was very good and I feel that’s pretty hard to pull off when you have so much exposition to convey, and three main characters to keep track of. Kept me wanting to listen, even when the content was super bleak. The whole Broken Earth series really excels at that.

END SPOILERS  END SPOILERS END SPOILERS END SPOILERS END SPOILERS END SPOILERS END SPOILERS END SPOILERS END SPOILERS

These are just my initial thoughts. Grateful for this very good book, and very good trilogy. Very inspired by its imaginative world, characters, allegories, and plot. Also, um, sad.