#dude probably talked her ear tf off

[midnightwriter21]

demon slayer hcs: motherly hashira!reader x the hashira pt 2

characters: fem!reader x muichiro, sanemi, mitsuri, obanai

AN: this is a pt 2 for the request from @danielle-marie

READ THE FIRST PART HERE

MUICHIRO

I LOVE THIS BABY SM U DONT UNDERSTAND

he's the hashira that ur most comfortable around

he was a hashira before u

but u get promoted and its an instinct

child.

must protect.

at first he probably gets annoyed by you

he's not used to someone caring for him the way that u do

but then one day ur sent on a long mission

maybe a few weeks long

and he finds himself missing something

of course he has no idea what it is that he's missing something

he completely forgot about u

but when you get back to the butterfly estate and he sees u

it clicks

he remembers

he missed you

he missed your overprotective nature

he missed your soft caring voice

he missed the way that you brush and style his hair

he REALLY missed that ^

walks up to u, grabs ur hand and tugs u away

doesn't care if you were talking to someone

and doesn't say a word

brings you to his favorite cloud watching spot with a tight grip on your hand

makes you sit down

and lays his head in ur lap

stop im squealing and kicking my feet from the cuteness

SANEMI

my guyyyyyy

have i ever told yall that i love him?

only in every single thing i post

anyways

he HATES you at first

lmfao rip u

your shy and quiet nature reminds him of giyuu

and if theres one person sanemi can't stand

its giyuu

therefore he don't fw u

and doesn't pay u much attention

UNTILLLLL

he witnesses u pulling genya by the ear to the infirmary after a mission

and telling genya tf off for pulling som stupid shit during the mission

+100 respect right there

not only are u actually talking

but ur screaming??

at his brother??

and taking care of him at the same time?????

my guy is lucky if he doesn't pop a boner right there lmfaooo

starts paying more attention to u after that

and is noticeably a lot nicer and calmer around you

will blush beet red and deny tf out of it if the other hashira comment abt his change of heart

but def develops a soft spot for u

MITSURI

SWEETEST HUMAN BEING TO EVER EXIST EVER

she loves u

ofc she does she's the love hashira

but in mitsuri's mind how could she not absolutely ADORE u

not only are you breathtakingly beautiful in her eyes

but she sees the way u interact with the younger slayers

how u genuinely care for everyone's wellbeing

if she wasn't looking for a husband she would wife u tf UP

she still might lol

mitsuri is gonna go out of her way to become friends with you

she's inviting u to her estate for girl's night with shinobu

she's dragging u along to her favorite restaurant for lunch

she's inviting u to join her at the hot springs to relax

she really enjoys ur presence

even if ur shy she thinks ur very soothing to be around

she loves when you do her hair!!

and when u cook for her??

mitsuri alrdy eats a lot

but if u made the food for her??

girl is not letting a CRUMB go to waste

loves the way u take care of everyone

especially when u take care of her

10/10 would recommend a mitsuri

OBANAI

someone pls love this man

he needs it so bad

so dude had SHIT parents

like bad bad

so when he sees ur interactions with the younger slayers he's prob a lil put off at first

like ma'am?

this is the demon slayer corps??

we don't have time for all ur mothering and coddling

but then he's injured on a mission

and waiting in the infirmary for shinobu to show up and patch him up

and then u bust through the doors???

confused asf

shinobu is on a mission and you've been helping out in the infirmary

so looks like ur the one taking care of him today

and turns out his injury is bad enough to land him an extended stay in his lil hospital bed

and after a few days of u taking care of him

with ur red face and soft stuttered words

he learns that you're not so bad

and he actually enjoys being around you

and being taken care of

won't voice this tho

but when Aoi comes in to give him his meds one day he gives himself away by accident

with a

"where's y/n?"

he's a blushing grumbling mess after that lol

after he discharged best believe the next time he gets injured he's not even going to the infirmary

he's hunting u tf down

nobody else gets to take care of him except YOU

and thats period.

[heavenlyraindrops]

smut writing tips (TW: sexual stuff cause like. Cmon. It’s smut)

I did one for character so now I’m doing one for smut what’s wrong with smut huh so what if I’m writing tips on how to make smut so what SO WHAT HUH

Smut scenes aren’t that different from normal scenes. Probably because they’re normal scenes. Remember that.

Therefore, they should have dialogueeee because boy oh boy the amount of smut I have read where they are just dead silent is insane I could rebuild the wall of china with allat

so… dirty talk

BUT DONT MAKE IT TOO LONG! OR TOO WEIRD…

“Do you think they’d watch?” he asks. “Do you think they’d enjoy the sight of your naked flesh on display? Maybe they would get off on seeing your dripping pussy reflected back at them everywhere they look. Or the pretty flush on your chest when you come. I think they’d even enjoy watching your eyes roll to the back of your head when my cock fills you so fully, you can’t fit any more of me inside you.”

That’s from haunting Adeline… and… just.. no. NONONONO ITS DISGUSTING ITS GROSS…. WHO TF SAYS THAT BRO. Why is tHIS BOOK SO POPuLAR

more gross examples: “You want to know what I’d do?” he questions. “I would let them watch. I would let them watch me claim you as mine and own every inch of your body. They would watch my cock fill every one of your holes and then watch you cry because of how hard you came. And then I’d fucking kill them. My cock would still be wet from your cum as I’d slice their throats for even daring to look at what’s mine.”

dont write like that guys… like ew. Just ew

also.. epithets.. ok idk what they’re called because English = not my first language but

like

”his member” “sword” “love button” “seed” “her peaks/ nubs”

look my dude if you can read a smut scene like “he inserted his sword inside her cavern and spewed his seed inside her while fondling her mounds” then sure pop off I guess but tbh

no.

JUST USE COCK DICK AND PUSSY OR SOMETHING IDK WHY U GOTTA DO THIS TO ME I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE CERTAIN THINGS THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN

“his member” I’m sorry is his dick joining a club?

anywaysysystst

research human body stuff. Like, dicks need to recharge before they get hard again yk

“Recharge” idk bro yk what I mean

cumming more than once for women do be kinda painful unless there’s an amount of time in between the orgasms

like depends on the woman, can range from a couple of hours to at least a whole day

although this doesn’t apply to everyone and some people do just go for it a bunch of times in one session so it’s a very variable thing

so yeah! Make sure to educate urself on biology

spemd more time talking about how they feel physically and emotionally than what they are doing so that the scene actually does have some depth

consistency! I have read shit that goes along the lines of “he grabbed her waist then with his other hand stroked her cheek and then she wrapped her legs around his feet and he pressed his elbow againts her knee flipping her upside down while she nibbled on his ear” how am I supposed to imagine any of that

they keep sprouting a third arm

or do things that completely contradict the position that they are in.. he can’t slap ur ass if ur in the cowgirl position..well, not very comfortably

so. Consistency! :)

that’s all for now ermmmm so yah tell me if this was helpful guys

edit: this post is super old pls ignore its existence

[skendoss]

You said you'll be posting next week, IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS, oh so now we're breaking our promise, huh? cool,cool......., just a little information about me that we have witch relatives💅🏻, POST OR I'll ORDER OUR LOCAL ARAB WITCH AUNTIE TO DLIVER A SIHR TO YOU👹👹👹

I was joking please don't take my words seriously, but this shit seriously happend in our family, buckle up i have tea, one of our relatives were living very comfortably they had the bread but the mother started seeing nightmares, one day while cleaning the house she opened a unreachable part of the closed and find a cardboard with messy words, hair and drawings pictures of them pinned on it, and guess what after bringing it to sheikh it was a sihr AND GUESS WHO DID THE SIHR, her brother in law's wife, GURL HOW TF COULD YOU REACH THERE it looked like one day visiting their house she put that there and before that she acted so innocent, ayo why am i suddenly spilling family tea??

ANYWAYS i need to share my hyperfixation to someone or else I'll go FERAL��, my sister is so fed up with me everytime i get into something i talk her ear off, my bestie too nice to say gurl stop breath for a momment, i just finished watching two dudes playing episode and it was so funny i guess their name was logan and julian, i'm depressed fuck link click and i'm still kinda salty with you like i wasn't the one watched it, aside from TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR rn i'm so obsessed with liu xiao, my god he's so interesting and mysterious i think i just dreamed about him, back when first the second season came out he and li tianchen would come up on my fyp specially li tianchen i know he was a slay💅🏻 with all those people editing him with first come up, first i first saw his first edit i was like aw she's so gorgeous luv the pink hair luv the fit and then she took off his wig i was like AYO THAT ZESTY FEMBOY, and didn't know what was liu xiao's name i called him THE DIVA cuz gosh we cannot deny that he's so beautiful, i'm biting my palm everytime i think about him, at first i thought everyone were down bad wet and drooling for him but opening the comments i didn't know he was the clown of the show, but after watching lk i joined their side, i love how we are all collectively bully him bro sounds like those sigma nonchaland gen alpha wannabe johan lilbert quote, i cant take him seriously(he probably gonna give up the most detailed well planed plot twist we be collectibely picking our jaw on the floor and i'm all in for it) i love villains i love well written bad, nasty villains i'm here for it i want to see vein and xia fei and liu xiao do unforgivable things that if i say i like them i get jumped by the whole fandom i liked chen bin he's so realistically bad cuz i know people like that we have jealous case like that in the country i live in so i'm all here for it thank you pookie boo to encouraging me watch this masterpieces- ah by the way i still don't understand which year is those timelines?

Thanks for reading it, have a good day, make sure this time you wont delete your response byeee👋🏻💕💕💕

RIIIIIIIIGHT this was an absolute roller coaster I've just let out my last cackle 😭😭😭😭

Not the family lore hello????? What happened after the reveal of the culprit i have to know 💀

'I'm still kinda salty with you' HAHAHAHHAHAG this actually made me laugh loud enough that I scared my cat away so I guess im salty with you now. But PLEASE what is the deal with liu Xiao???? I leave you guys for a second and when I come back you're all with this dude COME BACK GUYS ITS A TRAP !!!

Im logged back in now hehehehhe, I also did quit my awful nightmare of a job and started a new one so I have way more spare time on my hands now heheheheheh. Thank you for making me laugh, you're kinda scarily insane but we love you here anyway heheheheh

[dragondemoness]

HELLO MOOTIE, inbox is open I see so I just wanna request something bc I’m bored and bc WHY TF NOT? so hmm anyways could I request Hajime Hinata, Hiyoko Saionji and Mondo Owada with a Male! or GN! Reader who’s a vr youtuber and they scream at little kids and make the most weirdest jokes known to man, and im talking abt the reader acting like this dude LMAOO anyways thanks!! ^^

I just watched that clip, and... wow 0-0

Hajime, Hiyoko and Mondo with an S/O who is a Crazy VR YouTuber

Hajime Hinata

You are... exhausting, to say the least

You're loud and full of energy, and most of that energy is spent screaming at little kids

Way different from the calm, quiet demeanor he was used to seeing from Chiaki

But sometimes, it can be amusing

He'll watch you while you play, but then he has to cover his ears when you start screaming, then wonder why you do this

Although, if the kid you're screaming at is genuinely acting like a brat, even he gets a little annoyed

He doesn't get your weird jokes, but he'll give you a little chuckle anyway

Hiyoko Saionji

She's probably the little kid you scream at, honestly

She's not much of a gamer, but she did give VR a shot one time, and you started screaming at her for no reason

Then she screamed back, and the two of you started arguing with each other, which caused everyone else to leave the game

That started a passionate rivalry between the two of you, then she figured out that you went to the same school

Oh boy

Screaming at each other on a game is one thing, but in real life?

Everybody hates you guys

Somehow, you became friends eventually, then something more

Then the two of you team up and start screaming at other gamers, especially kids

For the sole purpose of being brats

But when someone does it to her, she starts crying and latches onto you while complaining about people being mean to her

Also, she doesn't understand your weird jokes, and she hates them most of the time

Mondo Owada

He's pretty loud himself, so he can't really talk

He knows that, but please, calm the fuck down

He supports your hobbies and all that, but why the hell are you screaming at little kids

Like he hasn't done that before

But when you made him play a game with you, some kid started talking trash to him

Then he got pissed and started screaming at them

Now he gets it

Although, instead of just doing it for fun, he does it because he's legitimately pissed off

So every game you play together is 20% actual gameplay, and 80% screaming at little kids

But it's fun for the two of you to play together, and even more fun to watch your boyfriend scream at kids

He doesn't understand any of your jokes, but he just stops questioning them after a while

[arillusionist]

sc2w live reaction because i havent done one of these for anything in a while now (i seriously regret not doing it for access all areas) and i forgot that tumblr is the place where i can dump my long ass thoughts without anyone reading it or judging me <3 so here we go!!:

miss possessive: ooh im so excited for this one heheh. THE CHORUS HELLO OH SHE IS TAKING ITTT. 10/10 intro makes me so excited for whats to come

2 hands: oh we know this diva yup 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ this song is so good when there isnt some random mf in your ear telling you its bad

and now i already have to take a break because apparently shes performing somewhere and theres a live.

omg shes playing dear god. its okay i dont mind being spoiled she posted so many snippets of it anyway

OH GOD SHES PLAYING REVOLVING DOOR I CLAIMED THIS TRACK SO IT BETTER BE GOOD!!! based off the snippets it probably will be incredible i cant waitttt. EEEEE I LOVE THIS IT NEEDS TO BE LONGER!! OH TATE WTF THAT BRIDGE EXCUSE MEEEEEE

ooh shes doing bloodonmyhands is she performing the whole album tf 😭😭 ykw i'll stay around anyway. AND YET ANOTHER BOP SHE TAKES IT AGAIN IKTR

okay shes doing another new track (greenlight) but once again i will stay!! also shes so cute. okokayyyy wait greenlight unexpectedly might be one of my favorites??? its so good????? im going insane

shes doing you broke me first so i'll stay but the next time she does a new track ima go back to the album. UNLESS its i know love and she brings laroi it (hes there!!) because obviously i gotta see them perform together

2 HANDS TIME!!!! also my live is lagging a lot it keeps speeding up and slowing down??? and the volume keeps going up and down??? help me. dude this live version is so good can she release it (ik she wont but shhhh)

i feel like shes gonna do its ok im ok as the last song 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ah nvm shes doing greedy of course i shouldve known. omg tate eating with the live version again.

THE REVOLVING DOOR VIDEO IS OUT I JUST SAW SOMEBODY SAY IT IN THE CHAT?/? LEMME RUN OVER TO IT OMG. she just said she was gonna play it here but that live is too laggy ima go to yt. OH MOTHER HELLO.//??//// THOSE MPVES?????? i know i already said it but i love the bridge/outro so muchhhhhh god

okok back to the album

revolving door: so i really dont need a reaction for this considering i just listened to it twice. but wait have i mentioned how much i love the bridge!!!! also i feel like this song has a double meaning outside of the obvious one about her being overworked (she literally released an album, did a world tour, and shes released another new album almost right away) but maybe im reaching !

dear god: already love this one of course <3333 i just know its gonna be very up there on my ranking. also random but i dont get why verse 2 is so short it doesnt make sense to me but oh well

purple lace bra: IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE TEWWW IM GLAD SHE DIDNT PLAY IT IN THE EVENT >o< OH THE INTRO IM ALREADY SO SAT 😍😍i just know people are going to misinterpret this song so bad like theyre doing to 15 minutes by sabrina. which just further proves their point that people just reduce young women in the industry to just their sexualness

sports car: MY FAVV YEAHHH (out of the 3 singles) !!! yeah you know what this is i think you know what this is i think you wanna uh yeah you aint got no mrs oh but u got a spprts car we can uh uh in it while you drive it real farrrrr yeah you know what this is!!

signs: oh this one is a total banger ive heard eeeeeee 😍😍OH AND THEY WERE RIGHTTTT1!1! THE DROP AT THE ENDING WOWOWW IM OBSESSED

i know love: YESSS THIS ONE I KNOW LOVE WHAT IT IS WHAT IT IS I KNOW LOVE!! oh em gee laroi is eating in his verse i hope hes on the rest of the song too I KNOW LOVEEE I KNOW LOVE . help omg im crying not him calling her his best friend on his insta post .. too unserious

like i do: why have i seen NOBODY talking about this. this is insanely good what the hell i think might be one of my favorites???? idk what to call the voice shes using but i love it oh my god. SAY YOU WANNA KNOW ME YOU DONT WANNA KNOW ME YOU JUST DO WHAT I DOOOO

its ok im ok: we know this one too yesyesyessss 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽im still surprised she didnt play it on the live but she played 2 hands ( good tho the world needs to realize that 2 hands is good, everyone paid it dust and for What)

no im not in love: OOOOH okay first of all the production on this one is eating 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ dude i thought this one was gonna be a slow one but i am pleasantly surprised!!!! just bop after bop after bop how does she not get TIRED jesus

means i care: im exciteddd for this one cuz i heard a lot about it and also i saw some of the lyrics earlier today and i love them .o. okayokay i love the verses but theres something off on the chorus that i cant put my finger on. i like it but i fear this one will have to grow on me a bit (watch it end up being one of my favorites lmao0

greenlight: YESSS LOVED IT ON THE LIVE so lets see if its still one of my favorites!!!! omg its still hitting as hard as the first time . i think this might be my favorite of her slower/sadder songs aughhhh its tew good

nostalgia: okay i had to pause before this one because i am TERRIFIED for it. ive seen like a gazillion people say that it made them sob and judging by what she said on the interview?? and the small snippet she shared??? i fear its going to rip my heart out and shred it to pieces. okay jesus i think i was a bit dramatic BUT nonetheless i literally could relate to every second of that it literally sums up so much of what ive been feeling lately. and i guarantee you im gonna listen to it at the wrong time some day and its gonna give me another existential crisis. anyways what a perfect ending i love you tateeeee !!!!!!!!

AUGHHH OKAY SO!!!! first listen around my favorites are miss posessive, revolving door, dear god, purple lace bra, still sports car, like i do, and greenlight. however this will probably change after i listen a million more times 🥰🥰 but first i gotta listen to saya gray's new album.

thank you empty void for letting me scream into uuuuu

[chemicalextinction]

A Quickie

1 quick thought before going to bed , it's not that I didn't wanna talk to marine about whatever tf was going on in my head today. Are you kidding me? That's all I wanna do is tell him every intimate thought that pops up between my ears behind my eyes. But I hate scaring people off. Although something tells me he'd probably still adore me with my hands around his neck.... lol anyways for years, now 11, I've felt guilty for staying friends with ang after Sam died hating her. There, that's the stupid lore, Sam hated how ang acted towards me in a very depressive time of my life so she didn't like her whatsoever especially after she tried to stop being my friend. So for years i battled with the thought that I'm a fucky friend to a dead best friend. I wasn't solid enough to stay mad at ang for the sake of Sam. But it's not like she knew, right? Or else, why would ang show up at the wake? Right.... anyway, now, I've been having to cope with the fact that......maybe, just maybe, Sam was the asshole. Cus ang is a beautiful person inside and out and marine solidified that fact for me earlier. Makes me feel okay that I stayed in touch with the 1 person that had me laughing my ass off after Sam's death. So much guilt, for so many years.....especially during the time ang dated Sam's bf after she died.....then when they broke things off because religion I saw his....whatever. that was long ago. But it really didn't help that everyone that ang broke up with would hit me up to complain about stupid shit she would put them thru. Nothing bad, just annoying lol. So it fed into the idea that maybe ang wasn't as sweet and nice as people perceive her to be.... but the reality is, she's a ray of fuckin sunshine. You know, dudes would befriend me just to try to get at her. I didn't mind most of the time, but sometimes it hurt to think I had a new cool guy friend potential love interest but in the end they just wanted to see if ang was DTF, I'd let them know she's not like that, and then they'd make their dusty ass move on me. Whatever now I'm accidentally getting into the reason why ang said I apparently talked shit about her. I really didn't, I was just explaining to that guy how shit usually goes; that I understood if Andrew preferred her over me, because it's what I was used to. It was the truth... fuck i went on a rant anyways!this post was supposed to be about -- Sucks to have to accept that the dead person you idolize and miss dearly maybe was actually a fucked up person. Romanticized the suicidal ideation and tendencies I used to have......I mean, I liked the self-inflicted pain but it was no way to live my beautiful life.

[thespineoftherighteous]

aftg short stories i would kill for:

the monsters at Abby's during the summer (this is #1 and i literally die whenever i think about it cause it'd be so amusing)

the girls' first year when they had to pretend to like each other in order to affect a unified front to their male teammates and how that led to them actually becoming tight

the Christmas break that Kevin, Nicky and Aaron spent with Matt and his mother

how Katelyn and Aaron fell for each other

a compilation on all of the more outrageous bets the team has taken

the foxes during midterms/finals (it's actually so funny reading the books from Neil's pov cause he'll literally be like 'ugh yeah we have exams next week' and then next time it cuts it's like two weeks later and he spares all of two lines to mention that they survived them and then just jumps right into the current crisis of the day)

just random shit about Matt and Allison's friendship (inspired by that one scene where he was gleefully teasing her about getting messed up by the downpour cause she was miserable but also like all of their lines are gold)

[tetsuwhore]

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨, 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮, 𝐆𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐢)

Description: general NSFW headcanons with Kuroo, Osamu and Goshiki

Pairings: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader, Miya Osamu x Reader, Goshiki Tsutomu x Reader

Warning: explicit nsfw (duh), mentions corruption kink and degradation

he’d likely be into having friends with benefits arrangements - Kuroo enjoys the casual nature of the sex, and is very much capable of keeping his emotions in check so he doesn’t develop romantic feelings

though, he’d prefer it being with someone he’s actually good friends with rather than a mere acquaintance or a random hookup, simply because that’d make him feel more comfortable

this dude would probably text them to come over, do the Do™️, and then end up getting some takeout afterwards while they just chill and watch a movie or something lmao

Kuroo will frustrate you to no end - trailing his fingers just near the waistband of your panties, or planting kisses along your inner thighs while deliberately avoiding your core

he’s a tease - it’s just in his nature. he’ll keep up the dirty talk and deny you to the point where it’s maddening 

if you want to cum, you’ll have to either a) beg hard enough until he’s satisfied, or b) pull his head to your core and grind your hips into his face. he loves when you toss out all inhibitions and shamelessly decide to take matters into your own hands

when he wants to really mess with you, he’ll start grinding into you while you’re in his lap during a makeout session. he’ll make you ride his thigh and simply chuckle, doing a fat load of nothing when you whine about how it’s not enough stimulation to get you to cum

definitely uses sex as a form of stress relief. not only is he the Nekoma volleyball team captain, he’s also in college prep classes - a whole lotta stress equates to a whole lotta sex

for instance, say you’re studying together for an exam and he’s getting restless after having sat at a desk for hours. he’ll lead you to the bed, fuck you senseless to the point where you’re teary-eyed, kiss your forehead after you’re both satisfied, and then get right tf back to his textbook lmao

since you both have such tight schedules, there will be a lot of quickies. storage closet quickie, study session quickie, late night before a game quickie.

still, he’ll feel bad because he knows it’s not as satisfying or intimate, so when he has more time to spare, he’ll focus completely on spoiling you

Kuroo is a very giving partner in general - he gets off on making you squirm and cry out for him. he’ll seize every opportunity given to go down on you. he doesn’t care if he dislocates his jaw while making you feel good, he’ll ignore the ache and keep going until you’re satisfied

he’s an observant one, and will read your body language to learn what you like or dislike. he wants nothing more than to be the partner you need him to be, so he’ll change his approach according to what you respond well to

he notices you squirming more when he’s manhandling and degrading you? he’ll call you a dirty slut and tighten his grip on your hips

he feels your nails dig just a little deeper into his back when he’s being nicer and gentler? he’ll whisper sweet praises about how you’re such a good girl for him

ok im gonna stop now ffsfsfsfs can you tell how hard i simp for him

Osamu and Atsumu are always being compared to each other, with Atsumu being labelled the ‘wilder one’ and Osamu, the opposite

people who aren’t very familiar with him often make the assumption that he’s squeaky clean, and therefore, pretty vanilla in bed… right?

wrong. 

Osamu is into kink exploration, and is very much interested in discovering the various facets of sex

plus, he gets a little kick out of being so unsuspecting -everytime he’s in public and feels a mild sting from the scratches on his back, he smirks to himself, reveling in the feeling of having this dirty little secret

definitely one with a bit of a corruption kink. he finds it amusing how he’s perceived as a vanilla person, when in actuality, he’s the one who relishes the feeling of taking away someone else’s innocence

he gets such a hard-on for responsive partners, ones who can’t control themselves when they squirm around and whimper sharply at even the lightest touch. it’s a way for him to tell whether he’s doing a good job at pleasing his partner. plus, the little boost to his ego certainly doesn’t hurt

such a sucker for domesticity. there’s just something about watch you move around the house (the house you share with him), doing the laundry or cooking at the stove. it may seem odd, but it turns him on because it simply reiterates the fact that you’re all his

on several occasions, he’s found himself sneaking up behind you and gently wrapping his arms around your waist while you’re doing something. when you turn your head back slightly to smile at him, he’ll lightly press his lips against yours before trailing soft kisses along the back of your neck and shoulders

the moment never remains soft for long - soon, he’ll have his fingers in your panties, rubbing tight circles on your clit while you cling on to his arm for support. he’ll hold you in place all the way until you tense up and reach your orgasm

then this bitch innocently kisses your cheek and leaves like he didn’t just turn your legs into jelly lmao

during arguments, Osamu does have a tendency to get frustrated, and he sometimes gets up in your face, hissing at you over something he disagrees with. the tension in the room, paired with you two being pressed up so close to each other often leads to angry sex

he’ll push you up against a wall and pull you into a vicious kiss that escalates to him thrusting into you at a punishing pace. as the tension dissipates though, he’ll be less rough, going softer on you while whispering apologies and promising that he’d make it up to you

Goshiki probably gets a little blushy thinking about a lot of people, many of which tend to be strangers that he’s seen from afar and found attractive. he ends up having these little fantasies in his head sometimes - nothing too intense, and he probably wouldn’t even act on them

but while jerking off, his mind tends to… wander, and he begins fantasizing about these little crushes. he always feels bad afterwards, feeling like he was being disrespectful

lmao one time, he even felt compelled to go outright apologize to one of his senpais for having a ‘dream’ about her. she laughed when she deciphered what his stuttering words meant and brushed it off as something that happens to everyone

even if Goshiki’s dating someone by his third year, he may still be pretty nervous when it comes to sex. though, by the time you two actually start becoming sexually active, his drive to be ‘the best’ (yes, even at sex) is simply stronger than his nervousness

at first, you’ll likely suggest mutual masturbation so you can learn how the other likes being touched - he may not be 100% on-board at first, being impatient to jump right in and learn first-hand what you like, but he eventually realizes that it’s a good first step and agrees

he’ll need you to guide him yourself the first few times he touches you. gently grip his hair and guide his mouth where you want him, talk him through how you want him to finger you, give him verbal instructions if you want it “harder”, “slower” or “right there”, etc

as he learns, he’ll pick up on your non-verbal cues as well. he’ll start to observe your body language, or realize how your moans get louder when he does something that you like, and he’ll adapt his technique accordingly

he’s very eager to please in general, and will absolutely apply the saying “practice makes perfect” here, working hard at honing his technique to improve his skills. boy just wants to do his best to make you feel as good as possible

Goshiki always wants to be as close to your face as he can be because he loves hearing your pretty voice right up in his ear. as smug as it makes him, he still can’t help the blush on his face everytime he hears you cry out and whimper for him

for him.

you’ll actually make this boy short circuit if you moan his name while he’s touching you. he’ll tense up for a second, and then immediately go feral, working his tongue or fingers harder until you forget everything else but his name

he’s such a sucker for eating you out - he’s grown addicted to having your thighs wrapped around his head while he’s lapping his tongue at your clit and reveling in the gorgeous sounds of you sobbing his name

now everyone and their grandmother already headcanons this, but c’mon - praise kink. Goshiki fucking devours any praise you throw at him, be it about his physique or skill

it’s a way to boost his ego and bring out the more smug, dom side to him that makes him want to fuck you until you cry

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 15]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, softdom!seungcheol, blowjob, cum swallowing, restraints/blindfold, daddy!kink, dirty talk, v little hair pulling, orgasm control, squirting, sex toys 😗💕 hope y’all are having a good weekend! As you can see, with this chapter comes the decided amount of chapters 😭 which means! cherry bomb ends on jan. 1st! 😭😭😭 I’m sad about it but!! excited to start the new year with some new projects too!! and I promise it won't be the last of this au either (I'll upload and talk abt a new schedule when it gets closer to time)💕💕 Thank you, as always, for your support with Cherry Bomb and I’m glad some of us have had pavlovian responses when we hear the term now LOOOL😩💕 Enjoy ch15 and have a great weekend! see u tomorrow for the last intro post! 💕🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - x - x - x - x - x 

Seungcheol takes it as a blessing that he doesn’t work on the weekends.

You do your camshow on Friday and upload prerecorded content on Saturday which leaves two whole days of relaxation that the two of you enjoy.

But Monday comes quicker than you anticipate and Seungcheol drops you off to work before he heads back to the roller rink; ignoring the multitudes of texts it seems Jeongguk is sending.

I’ll be at work in 30 minutes, he thinks.

“I’ll be back to pick you up after work, baby!”

You nod back, blowing Seungcheol a kiss through the window before you turn to leave.

Seungcheol’s phone rings 3 more times, brows furrowed.

‘It can wait.’

“Hyung, we’re in trouble… Maybe?”

Jeongguk’s big puppy eyes stare back at the older male and he can already feel the blood draining from his face at the potential reasons that the younger male would even say that. “Um… is---is this pertaining to why you tried calling like 14 times?” Jeongguk nods, tugging on Seungcheol’s shirt and pulling him in closer.

“Before you say anything… Namjoon-hyung didn’t find out, did he?”

“Find out about what?”

“That I… cam… I don’t want to get fired because I--”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, “Listen, I’m gonna be real, I don’t think he cares. The problem is… remember that dude that came in? A couple weeks ago. Lookin’ for a job.”

Seungcheol nods slowly; trying to remember the male’s name. “Seok--something, right?” Jeongguk nods.

“Apparently, he came back, and at the right time too. Namjoon hired his ass on the spot and he starts tomorrow. I heard from Seokjin.” Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features as he stares and waits for Jeongguk to continue. “... And? How is that trouble for us?”

Jeongguk lets out an over dramatic sigh, hands on Seungcheol’s shoulders. “Nevermind, I forgot you’re making bank on those videos. I was gonna say, we might get a pay cut! Or maybe Joon-hyung’s trying to replace us but I guess that’s not a ‘you’ problem.”

Seungcheol laughs under his breath, shaking his head before patting Jeongguk’s hands.

“You’ll be okay. I don’t think anyone is coming for your concession stand job.”

The next day when Seungcheol makes it to work, he can’t help but have a weird feeling in his gut.

Much like the time when he first met Jun, there’s an indescribable feeling bubbling up in his body that he can’t seem to shake off once he arrives at the roller rink and the sight of Jeongguk with the new employee doesn’t help to settle the feeling at all.

Just before he can make his escape, the younger male waves him over; a cheery smile plastered on his face when Seungcheol starts walking over.

“Hyung! It’s the new employee!”

So much for panicking about being replaced, Jeongguk.

Seungcheol smiles at the other male, introducing himself swiftly before extending a hand to shake. “Ah! I remember you! I’m Seokmin! I’m the same age as Jeongguk!” Seungcheol’s lips part as he nods in understanding; that had been why Jeongguk seemed so okay with it all of a sudden.

Seokmin’s eyes form crescents when he smiles and Seungcheol takes a second to do a once over of the other male; noting the pins tacked to his denim jacket. His eyes hone in on a specific one, narrowing once he realized what it was.

It’d been a while ago now, but when you’d hit 5k subscribers to your camming channel, you had made only three of the same pin, which you had raffled and only gave to three winners.

By nature, Seungcheol was one of them, and the other two were ‘xcaliburDK’ and ‘gentleman_josh95’. Seungcheol could deduce from usernames alone that this wasn’t ‘Josh’ so it only left one option left; albeit Seokmin didn’t add up to the username either.

“Hyung? Hyung, are you okay? You’re spacing out.” Jeongguk waves a hand in the elder’s face as Seungcheol shakes himself from his thoughts.

He’d just have to figure it out later.

Although, he can already feel the groan spilling from his lips.

Why was everyone popping up now?

When he picks you up from work, later that afternoon, he can already tell something is off about you too.

You slink into the passenger’s seat of his car, quiet and a little jittery. “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He comments, watching as you fumble with the seatbelt.

“Yeah it’s just… Can we talk about it when we get home? I think I’m still recovering from the weird experience I had earlier.”

Nodding, Seungcheol reaches over, placing his palm in yours in a means of comforting you; even just a little.

“Guess we both have had weird days, huh?”

You can’t thank Seungcheol enough for how patient he is.

He doesn’t say a word in the car and lets you have your quiet, cool down time before you get home.

But when the lock slides into place and you finally plop down onto the bed, you know it’s finally time to have the talk that you knew was brewing.

“I met another one of my regulars at the diner today.” You mumble; beating Seungcheol to the punch of him asking.

“Weird, I think I ran into one of your regulars at the roller rink today too. He works there now, by the way.”

The two of you share an awkward laugh as Seungcheol lays down next to you; neither of you bothering to change out of your outside clothes as you bask in the oddly similar occurrences. “Wouldn’t happen to be ‘universe_WZ’ would it? He came by the diner earlier, ‘just passing through town’ he said. It was so weird though, y’know? Him and Jun kinda got along ‘cause apparently they’re born in the same year.” You smile at the memory, despite how odd it was at first. “He was quiet and Jun is very much not. I think he bailed earlier than he wanted ‘cause his ear was getting talked off. But he asked me for an autograph on the way out and some old lady stared at me. It was just… a little weird.”

Seungcheol laughs; somewhat glad that your experience hadn’t been as bad as he was expecting.

“How ‘bout you, ‘Cheol? What was that about him working with you?”

The male groans, sliding a hand down his features. “It was… somethin’ else.” You turn on your side to face him, raising a brow.

“Couldn’t be that bad, could it?”

Seungcheol laughs, but only in the way he knows that the next words out of his mouth will sound ridiculous, even to you.

“I’m not going to say who it is because I don’t want you to be extra weirded out. He’s an okay guy, very diligent about his work. But let’s just say I caught a glimpse of his wallpaper, which was you by the way. And when I asked him, ‘hey, is that your girlfriend?’, the fucker lied and said yes!”

It takes a second before you’re letting out a boisterous laugh; tears springing to your eyes at the hilarious encounter Seungcheol had experienced.

“You’re not mad!?” He comments, eyes wide as saucers as he watches you curl up in laughter. “I thought you’d be mad!” You wipe a tear from your eye, catching your breath before you turn back to Seungcheol who watches you in confusion.

“No way, that’s fuckin’ hilarious! And let’s be real, probably not the first time someone’s lied about me being their girlfriend, right? But I--he doesn’t know, does he? That you’re… y’know, ‘dom.cheol’?” Seungcheol blushes, cheeks blooming a pale pink when he thinks about it.

Would his voice be enough to give it away?

“I don’t… know? He didn’t say anything but neither did I, honestly. It was just… weird. And now I work with him so that’ll be fun. Can’t wait for him to tell me how cute his girlfriend is.” He grumbles.

“Awww, is widdol Swungcheol jealous?” You blink cutely back at him; a teasing smirk on your lips when you see him narrowing his eyes back at you.

“Watch it, brat. You know I can punish you at any time, right?”

“Try me, then~”

Seungcheol mentally logs into his brain and waits until your Wednesday show before he makes a move.

He brings his favorite silk ties from his closet and places them on the bed while you get changed; a sly smirk on his face.

“‘Okay, ‘Cheol I’m--whoa.” You bite your lip when you step out and see the array of ties and the vibrator already sitting on the bed. “Um… I take it that these are part of the show tonight?” You end with a shy giggle; body already warm at the way Seungcheol looks at you.

“Mmhmm. For the ‘lil jealous comment you made. What was it that you said? ‘Try me, then’?” He grins in a way that you know you’re screwed and you saunter up to him in hopes of maybe pacifying him a little.

“Too late to say that I take it back?”

“Waaaay too late, baby. Now, let’s get started.”

chwenon has donated $50

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

artist8hao has donated $75

artist8hao: she’s so pretty with her hands tied behind her back like that

angelhan: shibari next time???

universe_WZ: she’d be so pretty all tied up

universe_WZ: rly nice seeing u btw ;)

therealchan99: where tf are all of u seeing her!?!?? I need to go out more im lackin bro

alphagyu97: its the way u walk into every set up for me

Seungcheol chuckles under his breath, reading the comments with his hand tangled in your hair and your arms tied behind your back as you work your mouth up and down on his cock.

Before the show had even started, he had quickly rearranged the setup so that the camera was angled down towards the space in front of the bed instead of where it usually faced which was on top of the bed. You were a little confused at first when he had nodded and told you to start your camshow from the rug placed underneath you but it soon made sense when he had tied your arms behind your back and made you suck him off with your knees digging into the rug and a silk tie tied into a bow around your eyes to prevent you from seeing.

“Shibari, huh? Ooh, wouldn’t it be a treat for your viewers if you did a show where you were all tied up? I’d have to start it for you, or maybe they’d like to watch the process and see how quickly I can get you to fall apart.” Seungcheol pauses; hips canting up slightly into your mouth as you swallow and gag around him. “We can make it an extra long camshow… Maybe a pay-per-view situation. They can watch you squirm and cum all night long while I keep a vibrator pressed against your clit until your cute body is trembling.”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head even if Seungcheol can’t see it and you moan around his cock when you feel him throbbing in your mouth.

The sound of donations and comments is all you can go off of with your back towards the camera and your vision taken away; noting that the viewers must’ve liked the idea.

j__min has donated $150

j__min: popping in to say if u need help buying ropes, i know a guy ;)

alphagyu97: wait is this rly happening

alphagyu97: i’ll clear my schedule gentleman_josh95: yea same

xcaliburDK: i just started a new job i cant have any sick days plz… at least reupload it for me 😭😭

Seungcheol smirks when he reads that particular comment; fingertips massaging your skull when he hears you whining. “I know, baby. You wanna be fucked, huh? It isn’t nice being teased, right? So now you know how I feel~” In a blink of an eye, ‘xcaliburDK’s comment is buried and Seungcheol is thankful that you didn’t see it. He’d just have to keep it a secret for now while he played along and listened to what else Seokmin had to say about his so-called ‘girlfriend’.

You rub your thighs together; already feeling the slickness on them from how wet you already were and how long you’d been teasing and sucking his cock.

“Fuck, I could cum down your pretty ‘lil throat and then make you work for my cock. Drag your punishment out even longer than your viewers would see.” You moan around his cock in response and Seungcheol can only take it as a whiny ‘no’ before he’s pulling you off of him by the hair; soft sputters and coughs spilling from your wet lips as you catch your breath.

“But I think you’ve earned your orgasm, hmm? What do you say, princess?”

Your throat feels hoarse and your body feel obscenely hot at the way Seungcheol doesn’t seem to want to take off your restraints just yet. “Y-yes, daddy I--I want to c-cum… pl--please.”

tangerine_kwan: ahhh shes so cute

tangerine_kwan: petition for baby pink ties next time i think they suit her

sleepy_wonu: if that shibari show is happening, yes

“We’ll talk about it later, although I don’t think she’ll be opposed to it~” You furrow your brows; wondering what Seungcheok was referring to. 

You’d ask later.

“D-daddy…?”

Seungcheol tugs you slightly by your hair, urging you up as you slowly stand on shaky legs. You let him take the reins as he unties your arms and repositions you until you’re bent over the edge of the bed; left leg folded atop the bedsheets while your right leg keeps you upright. He keeps your blindfold on but lets you keep your arms loose; which you find out fairly quickly, is for good reason.

The buzzing of the vibrator makes you bite your bottom lip and soon enough, Seungcheol places the toy in your clammy hand.

“You’re gonna slide your hand under your body and keep that vibrator pressed against your clit while I fuck you. And you’re not allowed to cum unless I say so. Am I understood, baby?” You feel Seungcheol teasing you as he slides his cock through your soaking folds before circling the tip around your entrance.

“I expect a response when I ask you a question, sweetheart.”

“Y--yes, daddy, I--ah!”

Seungcheol grins as he slides his cock into your tight cunt; watching as you slowly sandwich your arm between your body and the bed sheets to place the vibrator against your clit. You cry out, a mess of sharp whines and jumbled words spilling off your lips with the combination of Seungcheol’s thrusts and the vibrations on your clit.

“Ngh, d--daddy! Fuck me m-more!”

Your other hand digs into the sheets, fingers tight around the fabric as Seungcheol fucks you from behind. He knows your body like the back of his hand and he quickly already has you on the verge of an orgasm despite only having started fucking you, moments prior.

“Don’t cum, princess~” Teasingly, he alternates from quick snaps of his hips that have his cock slamming into your g-spot to slow thrusts that have you remembering every groove and vein of his cock when he pulls out. And when he fucks you like this, it’s easy to forget the camera was even on and that people were watching; if not for the constant pinging of comments and donations that mix in with your moans, Seungcheol’s harsh breaths and the sound of the vibrator against your clit.

hoshi_tiger_xx: hmm but shes obv being punished and we all kno good girls dont get creampies

therealchan99: ur right,,, where should he cum then?

kitty_junjun: my votes on her tits

kitty_junjun has donated $75

sleepy_wonu: maybe all over her back and then post the pics in the private room

xcaliburDK: or raffle them!! I want them

chwenon: ooo cum in her mouth but dont let her swallow

chwenon: then u can raffle those pics or sth

Neither you nor Seungcheol are even paying attention to the comments that fly past on the screen and the only thing Seungcheol even turns slightly for, is to check to make sure he’s still properly out of frame.

He can already feel you tightening up around him and with the vibrator on your clit, he knows for a fact you won’t last much longer before you’re cumming.

“Hmm, princess, I can feel you getting so tight around me. Bet you wanna cum already, huh?”

“D-daddy, I dunno, ah, how--how much longer I can h-hold off…” You mumble; already feeling the tension in your body ready to snap at any second.

“Be a good girl. I said you earned your orgasm but you need to be patient.” You nod to the best of your ability; head feeling heavy and fuzzy as you try to stave off your orgasm for a little longer. “Y--yes, daddy…” He slows down his thrusts in order to help you a little and the soft praises that fall from his lips have the warmth blooming in your chest.

But it doesn’t last long because despite Seungcheol’s valiant efforts, you’re already too close to cumming to stop yourself when you feel the pressure building up too fast.

“Oh, d-daddy, I---I can’t, I---I can’t, I have, ah, to---to c-cum! Fuh--fuck, ‘m s--sorry!”

Seungcheol can’t even manage a word in before he feels his cock being forced out of your pussy and the wetness that squirts all over his cock and lower half. Loud cries and whines are all you can manage in the thrums of pleasure and the grip you have on the vibrator only tightens as you grind against the toy to ride out your high.

Seungcheol takes the time to wrap a hand around his cock as he strokes himself; body turned halfway towards the laptop to see what everyone was saying.

hoshi_tiger_xx: uh ohhh pretty baby came without permission

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

hoshi_tiger_xx: donation for squirting tho

alphagyu97: ugh look at her cute lil hole begging to be filled up

angelhan: bet she’s feeling empty rn huh

Your soft mewls have Seungcheol turning back to face you; eyes trained on your twitching body when the pleasure starts to ebb away and the overstimulation from the vibrator starts to bite. “Daddy… the---the, mmh, toy…”

“You can turn it off, sweetheart.” His tone is clipped and you already know you’re in for it once you manage to find the switch on the silicone toy. You turn it off and slide your hand from underneath you; palms flat against the sheets as you sniffle.

“I--I’m really s-sorry, I--I couldn’t--”

“I want you on your knees again, princess.”

Nodding shakily, you ease your bent leg down as you maneuver yourself onto your knees; hands already searching for Seungcheol before you hear his small ‘ah, ah, ah’s.  “Hands behind your back and tongue out, baby.” You follow his orders as you clasp your hands behind your back and diligently open your mouth and stick your tongue out as far as you can.

He brings his cock towards your face, tapping his cock head against your tongue before he starts to jerk himself off over your mouth and face. “I gotta hand it to you, princess. At least you apologized.” Seungcheol laughs under his breath, “But next time though? I won’t even let you have my cock.”

You whimper in return, brows furrowed under the silk tie.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum all over this pretty face.” His grip on his cock tightens and he thrusts into his palm quicker as he chases his high. “Don’t worry. I’ll take pretty pictures of your cum stained face.”

Seungcheol groans as he feels the coil in his body snapping and not a second later do you feel warm rivulets of cum hitting your cheeks and your tongue. Some of it manages to catch on the silk tie as you moan. The donations and comments pour in like water as Seungcheol continues to cover your face in cum and for the umpteeth time, you’re reassured that this was a path that worked out for you.

It was so silly that you’d thought of quitting camming earlier. 

Although, you never brought it up to Seungcheol.

In actuality, there were quite a few things that you’d never brought up to Seungcheol.

“Fuck…” He mutters from above you and it’s enough to bring you out of your thoughts as you hold still. Seungcheol takes the hint, using a sticky cum covered hand to reach for his phone to snap pictures of you; he’d just clean it up later.

“Say cheese~” He laughs, taking a couple photos before tossing his phone onto the bed as you draw your tongue back into your mouth and swallow down the warm salty substance that managed to hit your tongue.

Seungcheol helps you up from the floor, pouting when he sees how red your knees have gotten. “Hmm, think I need to take care of my princess after this.” He helps take your blindfold off and you’re quick to blink the fogginess away as  you try to focus on Seungcheol’s face before peering over to the laptop’s screen.

Your cheeks burn hot at the cum that still stains your cheeks when you see  yourself but the comments that flood in calling you pretty make you giggle.

“Ooookay. I think daddy is gonna get all cleaned up and I’ll wrap up here?” You check in with Seungcheol, who shoots you a nod and a small thumbs up before slinking completely out of the camera’s view.

“Okay guys, now what were you all talking about while I was on my knees?”

You get out of the shower feeling refreshed; tossing on a loose shirt before skipping out of the bathroom.

Seungcheol is cozied up on the sofa, waiting on the food that the two of you had ordered right after you ended your show. “‘Cheollie~” He turns to you as you plop down next to him and he’s quick to wrap an arm around your shoulders as he tugs you into his side.

“Feeling better?”

“Mmhmm~ A ‘lil sleepy but I can go for that food and then sleep.”

The two of you share a laugh, eyes focused on the movie that plays on the TV. “Say…” You start, “Someone asked a good question in the comments after you stepped out.” You gulp; palms a little clammy.

You just had to know.

“Yeah? Was it about the shibari camshow again?”

“No, actually…” You take a deep breath, telling yourself it’d be okay regardless of what he said.

“Seungcheol, am I your girlfriend?”

[witchy-mel]

Pt.3 of iBerleezy's funny/relatable quotes👌

Episode 4

"I tried to grab her, and she kicked me in the nutsaCK."

(when he gets his first detention)"This the worst I gotta deal with when I get in trouble, is just a litttle scolding from head-.*realization* Aw, wtf. I gotta do community[service]-."

'Ah dodgeball...how I love the sound of boys crying in the morning.' "Thats..an issue..."

"Jimmy you look like you never shower and you walk around school musty."

(he attacked Damon while he was peeing then proceeded to get jumped by Kirby, Casey and Damon) "WHAT DID I DO?!?! ...what you mean 'what did you do'. You f*kin' tried to beat his ass while he was tryin to wash his hands after a fresh urinAtion."

"What do you even do with a transitor? You hotwire it to your crackpipe,b*tch? ...that wasn't necessary, I didnt have to say that about him, he probably going through some things..."

'cAn yOu hELp mE sIr?' "No I can't little kid" 'sIr cAn yOu- "GET TF AWAY FROM Me, dude! Do you not see these grown ass men chasing me down?"

'don't you LIKE cutting things open?' "Please get outta my ear with that, teach. Idk what kinda sh*t you be on in this class late at night, by yourself, but I'm not on it..."

"Why is this something that we do as students?! Why do we need to understand what's going on inside his little PEanut head? His little PEanut body?"

"Look at this man's(the dead rat in biology) huge NUTS and his little bean-banger."

"Why did the teacher just point at me and call me a 'good-for-nothing bum'? That's the kind of encouragement I got at this school?"

*shoulder checks Edna* "That's why yo food sucks."

"WOAH, WOAH, IM SORRY! Damn, they came at me full force, just cause I swung at her a little bit. I just wanted to let her know that her food was nasty, and I didn't appreciate the DIARREHA she put me through last week."

"What you finna do, Jimmy? Bust a move. The whole school is pissed."

"Wow, ok. So that's the kinda game we're on right now. Forced vandalism and then I get chased down for it..."

*to Dr.Crabblesnithch*"'My patience is wearing thin.' Well, you know what else is? Your hairline so."

*after throwing an adult off of the moped*"WOAH IS THAT THE COPS!?!?! IS THAT THE COPS?!?!? WOOOOOOOAH!!! I'm dealing with local authority nOw??" WoAh, lets get up outta here!"

"That women was disgusting. I mean, I ain't never seen something that nasty before. She sneezed in today's gumbo, and said 'it adds flavor to it'. What flavor is that? STD?!?"

"Edna, you smooth look like Shrek himself."

(he's talking about the shop class soundtrack)"Um..who made this beat? Tyler, the Creator? Underwater? Tf is this beat?"

*Kirby and Trent during 'Movie Tickets'*"Y'all holdin hands?😮"

"Yeah, c'mon let's take you home already. Im sick of yo ass. ...Nah she kinda cool. She just rich, privileged."

And that concludes this post. I might publish these posts every other day because I don't wanna bombard you guys and I also have art to post. (Yeah, I make art, not good art but I try). But yeah, expect these posts every other day. Or if you think my humor is shot(you are absolutly correct) and you dread these kinda posts then just ignore me i guess🤷‍♀️

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

ok, if i don’t write this im gonna lose my mind -cue dmx ‘party up’-

here is a ridiculously detailed analysis of why i am bordering on near certainty of caryl endgame, and how everything that’s been set up from the start of s9 (yes, even c@rzekiel and d@nnie) has been leading up to this

spoilers and long-winded analysis under the cut

let’s take this step-by-step, okay? starting with:

The Titles:

i have said this about a million times now, but the very first indication of caryl came from the new opening credits, where mmb’s name was very strategically placed above the graphic of daryl’s crossbow, what’s meant to symbolize henry’s pike, and a bunch of cherokee roses. it was foreshadowing, not only of henry’s death, but also how her relationship with daryl was going to unfold, and, bear with me here, the downfall of c@rzekiel. speaking of which, let’s go there

C@rzekiel:

i have also rambled about this, too, but the way that kang designed this relationship between zeke and carol was so brilliant, because it was never supposed to be real, but you weren’t able to fully see how until the whole story was laid out before us. (which goes with my belief that kang tells stories over long, connected archs, and not just “you know what would be fun to toss in here rn for some drama?” 

carol

1. denied zeke’s proposal

2. never once told him she loved him

3. explicitly told those saviors she could have done without her ring (a line that had absolutely no need to be in there)

4. continuously rejected the title of queen

5. regularly visited daryl in the woods

6. said herself that all it was, was a fairytale. something i’ll delve into more when i talk about carol’s ptsd

but let me touch on how daryl plays into this. we know she regularly went out into the woods to be with daryl, and she did it because he was her tether back to reality. she was living a fantasy life, and knew deep down that it wasn’t real, but had to do it, for henry’s sake, and for the sake of her mental health, because at the time of the relationship, she had not remotely begun to deal with any of her grief

the first scene we get with her and zeke is directly after daryl saves zeke’s life, which is telling. and the first time we hear her talk about her feelings about zeke’s proposal she turned down it’s with daryl, and let us not forget that the script notes stated that daryl was experiencing jealousy about it. he never asked her not to, though, because he thought she was happy, and that was more important to him than her being with him. he was willing to give her up if it meant she was happy, like what kind of angst trope suffering is that?? -chefs kiss-

and we can’t forget that zeke canonically views daryl as a threat to his marriage (i mean, rightfully so). he literally tells daryl to back off his wife so that he can fix their marriage, because he knows carol is starting to go back to him

next!

flowers:

flowers have been being used as symbolism between these two across the past two seasons a bunch. flowers are in mmb’s title card. the first scene of carol/daryl in the time jump shows them seeing flowers. daryl brings carol a flower on the dinner tray. one of the upcoming episodes is “look at the flowers”. obviously the cherokee rose scene is iconic between them, and flowers to carol represent this weird dichotomy. on the one hand, they represent daryl comforting her and giving her hope, and on the other hand, they represent her downfall mentally from the grove. interesting that one of the threads throughout this current season is carol grappling between trying to stay grounded with daryl, and her losing herself to her grief

speaking of grief!

Carol’s PTSD:

people have bitched that kang is just telling carol’s same storyline all over again, to which i’m like, tf show are you watching?? here’s what kang has done. gimple dealt with carol by literally just locking her away in a house to mull over how terrible she is a person, while never once actually dealing with her grief, and then handed that over to kang as a boiling slop of diarrhea, and somehow kang managed to take that, perform alchemy, and turn it into delicious loving carol juice.

she had henry killed off to parallel sophia, yes, that’s true, but the /reason/ she did that is because she’s righting the wrongs that were done to carol by essentially rewriting her storyline the way it should have gone. carol has lost So Much. more than most, i think, and kang is like, “that would fuck someone up pretty fucking bad, i think, so let’s see her actually have to grapple with that.” kang stays true to the carol gimple created, in that her instinct is to run away (think boat), but she’s using daryl as a means of forcing her to confront her demons. the two of them, at any given time, are running away from their struggles, but daryl is finally at a place of stability, and so he’s taking carol by the hand and saying, “no. i’m not letting you do this again. you have to stay,” and carol does, because she loves him, but consequently she’s having to actually feel it (something she explicitly stated she “can’t let herself do”), and is now experiencing the consequences of it, and poor daryl is stuck trying to handle it. his entire plotline this season has revolved around trying to help carol heal her wounds so that they can finally be together the way they should have been ten years ago.

they should be together, and daryl shouldn’t be with anyone else? glad you asked, because that brings us to:

D@nnie:

i actually think that kang never meant to make daryl/connie a ship, bc nothing in season 9 really indicated anything more than a mutual respect, and part of me truly believes that she saw the reaction to the two of them, and was like, “you know what? i can work with this.”

carol is pushing daryl towards connie because she wants to take alpha down and knows she might go down with her and she needs to know daryl won’t be alone. that’s it. period. end of sentence.

but okay, let’s extrapolate. she asks him if he’s interested in connie, and daryl very, very bluntly says no. you can’t tell me that his answer was meant to be evasive. he delivered that line like straight up “no.” no room for debate about his feelings. if they wanted to leave room for doubt they would have had norman redo his delivery, because it is too obvious. he is shutting it down completely. and carol is like, “why not?” and /that’s/ when daryl gets evasive. very “don’t worry about it, why are you worrying about it, i’m not in love with you, shut up.” 

fucking kills me, guys.

now the current spoilers about carol telling daryl to get angry at her for (supposedly/probably) killing connie furthers this belief that she wants daryl to pull away from her. because he’s her tether, she loves him, and as long as he still wants her around she can’t leave. she wants him to hate her, and daryl refuses. he’s pissed as all get out about what she did, sure, but he doesn’t hate her. also, the idea that daryl going back to try and save connie and magna means he’s in love with connie is absolutely baffling. have you met daryl? his instinct is to save people at all costs. he wouldn’t leave his friends stuck in a fucking cave, are you serious? just because connie is a woman doesn’t mean daryl wants to fuck her. he’s allowed to care about his friends.

but anyway, the point here is that every “d@nnie” spoiler has been music to my ears, bc not once has it been actually shippy. that first episode with the asl book and them together? it was supposed to juxtapose zeke and carol, and how carol and daryl immediately forgot about connie and zeke in order to be with each other. every other thing with connie has either been very cute and platonic, or has been carol trying to push her on daryl. -chefs kiss- my dudes, you’re worrying about nothing

Misc bc I’m Late for Work:

here are just a handful of other indicators that caryl is on the horizon

-the dream where she dreams she’s MARRIED TO DARYL, and the scenes where she wakes up in bed and looks over and he’s not there. why set that up if the end result isn’t going to be them together in bed?

-the bracelet/the acorns and what they symbolize 

-the use of “we” (”we don’t sleep” “it was like that for us before all of this” “since when have we never been enough?” etc)

-their parallels to alpha/beta (see my other long-winded text post on that one)

-ten years worth of history between them!!! that kang understands and references (carol’s claustrophobic, look at the flowers, etc)

so anyway, i don’t have time to tie this up with a nice bow bc i really have to get to work, but this is all to say that i am very very confident about the caryl endgame. i think it’s being drawn out bc kang needs to right the wrongs done by gimple first, but that caryl is where she’s eventually headed. every spoiler has been 100% caryl positive to me. i am zen af, and i think you should be too.

i’ll add to this if i think of anything i missed, but here you go. caryl is endgame and they gon fuck

the end,

-diz   

[rickyxginaa]

Skate Park

a/n: I AM SO SORRY this definitely was supposed to be posted last week but then the end of the semester stressed me tf out and now we’re here!! but i made it extra long to make up for the delay <3

Part One

*****

“Well, if it isn’t the Ricky Bowen himself.”

Ricky and Gina’s conversation is interrupted by a teenage boy with dirty blonde surfer hair wearing a tight, long sleeve shirt that definitely emphasized his six-pack.

Ricky laughed and dapped the boy up, “What’s up, Mason?”

“Not much, but we missed you man! Where have you been?”

“You know, school and stuff.”

“Ah whatever, it’s all good. Gina’s been keeping us company.” Mason went over and hugged Gina for barely more than five seconds but to Ricky, it felt like an eternity. He didn’t know the two would be as close as they were but then again, he doesn’t really know anything about Gina’s life anymore.

“I’m way better anyway.” Gina joked as she let go of Mason and went to greet the rest of the guys she usually hangs out with each weekend leaving Ricky and Mason alone.

“Damn right.” Mason said under his breath while staring at Gina as she walked away. Ricky looked back and forth between the both of them and grew suspicious.

“Do you like her or something?” Ricky asked with evident attitude in his voice.

“Like her? No. She’s gorgeous and we flirt sometimes but she definitely has feelings for someone else.” 

Ricky decided to ignore the whole ‘flirting’ comment. What really intrigued him was what Mason said about her having feelings for someone else. “How do you know she likes someone?”

“Dude, she’s resisting me. That’s the only logical explanation.”

Who can it be? It can’t be anyone from their friend group because everyone is basically in a relationship. Maybe it was Rico, he had caught him eyeing her at rehearsals the other day. Or maybe it’s EJ, she does live with his cousin and they hang out all the time so it only makes sense that she’s fallen for him. Unless, Ricky was completely wrong about both of them and Mason was just trying to protect his fragile ego because Gina isn’t falling at his feet. He thought it’d be best to go with the latter.

“Why do you even care anyway? Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Mason said. Ricky furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Mason goes to West High and they haven’t talked since the beginning of the school year, so Ricky wondered how he even knew about Nini. 

The curly haired boy began to notice Gina down in the rink practicing her tricks and was anxious to join her so he cut the conversation with Mason short.

“Um, yeah I do. But we’ll catch up later, alright?” Ricky moved towards Gina with his skateboard. 

*****

Two hours had passed and during that time the two teenagers were the happiest they’d been in weeks. Ricky caught up with all his skater friends and Gina even ended up teaching Ricky some new tricks. Of course, Mason incessantly flipped his pretty hair and tried flirting with Gina but unfortunately for him, she was too consumed by Ricky. Gina’s not blind, she knows how attractive Mason is and she’s picked up on his frequent flirtations. She’d be an idiot to not give it a chance. 

Nonetheless, she couldn’t get past the fact that his piercing green eyes don’t mesmerize her the same way Rick’y chocolate eyes did. Nor was his wavy hair shaped into delicate curls. Gina could go on and on about how Mason and pretty much any other guy she’s ever met will never compare to Ricky. But that’s not a particularly healthy strategy since she’s supposed to be moving on from him.

Although they were having a great time, it was getting late and both of them had to be home soon. 

“I had so much fun tonight.” Gina smiled from ear to ear as she took off her gear.

“Same here. You’re pretty good, Porter. But don’t worry, I’m gonna get my title back.” Ricky teased.

“Does that mean I’ll be seeing you next weekend, Bowen?”

“As Troy Bolton would say, bet on it.” Ricky cringed as soon as the words came out of his mouth followed by Gina’s laughter.

“I think all these musicals are finally getting to you.”

“They really are. But um, do you need a ride home? We could stop for ice cream if you want?” Her heart started pounding. If Gina didn’t know any better, she’d think Ricky just asked her on some kind of informal date. But of course, Nini was the one that he loved, not her. 

Before she could respond, Mason appeared. “Hey G, need a ride home?” 

Ricky visibly sucked in a breath as he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. Mason had been getting on his nerves a lot more than usual tonight and Ricky couldn’t really figure out why.

Gina glanced over at Ricky. She could either go get ice cream with the boy who she was supposed to be getting over or ride home with the boy who was most likely just trying to get in her pants. 

“Uh, actually Ricky’s taking me home.”

She was never good at making decisions anyway.

*****

Ricky and Gina sat in Ashlyn’s driveway in his car while enjoying their frozen treats.

“Ugh, you have no idea how long it’s been since I’ve had ice cream. Ashlyn’s mom is starting this new diet and forbids anything that’s actually edible.” Gina excitedly licked her chocolate ice cream, unaware that she accidentally got some on her nose. Ricky smirked at the sight.

“What?” Gina wondered what could be so funny about her basically being starved by Ashlyn’s mom.

“Um, you just got a little something.” Ricky reached over and gently wiped the ice cream with his thumb. His touch sent shivers down Gina’s spine, it’s been so long since they had any kind of physical contact and it was taking an obvious effect on the teenage girl. To her dismay, it seemed as though Ricky was completely unfazed. 

“I forgot to thank you. For tonight, I mean. You really helped get my mind off things.” Ricky ran his free hand through his locks. 

Gina nodded. “Of course Ricky. Now, if you don’t mind me asking, what was your fight with Nini about?” 

Ricky’s shoulders tensed as he was reminded of the huge argument him and his girlfriend had beforehand. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to talk about that particular subject but it’s been proven time and time again that he couldn’t say no to the girl sitting beside him. 

“If I tell you, will you answer a question of mine?” If Ricky was going to indulge in his relationship with Nini, he might as well get something out of it.

Gina shrugged her shoulders, “Sure, whatever you want.”

Ricky took a deep breath and exhaled, “Um, you probably haven’t noticed but Nini and I are not exactly ... good right now.” She would think that upon hearing this news, she’d be ecstatic. But that wasn’t how Gina was now, she wanted Ricky’s happiness and seeing him in pain just made her world crumble. 

“Every day, it’s a new fight. Sometimes I wonder why we’re even dating anymore. Which is what my idiot self told her today and it was just some big blow up. Things were said, she threw me out of her house and now I’m here.” Ricky slowly looked at Gina to see her reaction, sadness was written all over her beautiful face.

“Ricky, I may not have been at East High long but ... I know you and Nini are good for each other. Sure, you guys have been hitting some bumps but c’mon, you’re the Ricky and Nini. Your love will bring you back together, just give it time.” Gina always puts Ricky’s feelings above her own, she’s like that way with everybody. If that meant putting on a facade, so be it.

Ricky scoffed, “You think so?” 

Gina plastered a small smile on her face, “I know so.”

“Well, I guess it’s time for my question. Mason mentioned that he’s been flirting with you but he thinks you like someone else. Is that true?”

Gina was taken aback by his question. Was he serious? Why does he want to know if I like someone? If they lived in a parallel universe maybe she would find the courage to admit that her feelings for him were growing uncontrollably and how she’s terrified of this newfound feeling. Maybe she’d confess how hurt she was when he dropped their friendship like it was nothing even after everything they’ve been through. Alas, she couldn’t possibly say any of that.

“If you’re asking me if I like Mason, the answer is no.” A heavy weight lifted off of Ricky’s shoulders. Good, he thought, she deserved much better than him. She didn’t fully answer his question but it’ll have to do. “My turn again, do you still have that terrible hat I made you?”

Ricky’s face brightened as he pulled the middle console up and grabbed the hat Gina made, it felt like years since she initially gave it to him.

“Got it right here, I would never throw it away. Do you still have that hoodie I gave you when we went to the mall that one day?”

Gina smiled to herself as she thought of that memory, “Yeah, it’s hanging in my closet.” She made sure to leave out the minor detail of how she had slept in that hoodie on multiple occasions, up until Ashlyn brought her back to reality. 

She still had it. Ricky didn’t know why but he felt this strong urge to do something, anything. He found himself leaning closer towards her, causing Gina’s entire body to freeze. All common sense Ricky had inside him flew out the window as he looked down at her soft lips and back up to her wide brown eyes.

Gina had no idea what was happening, with Ricky being so unbelievably close to her, it was impossible to think clearly. Ricky just wanted to feel that passion again, the kind of passion he knows he would feel with Gina. He wanted to feel like he actually mattered to someone. He stared longingly at her face as he pushed a stray curl behind her ear. 

Gina was sure he could hear her heart physically exploding inside her chest but remained silent as she was unsure of where this was going. He lightly placed his finger under her chin as she bit her lip. He couldn’t take it anymore, she was driving him crazy. He had missed her so much over the past few weeks and tonight proved that he never wanted to be away from her again. 

One kiss, that’s all he needed. 

“Kiss me.” Ricky whispered. 

[crystu-cii]

XDD

I f e e l that pain in my soul-- my older sister uses cologne sometimes and it is sO STRONG AND WILL NOT STAY CONFINED TO HER ROOM-- AMD SOMETIMES SHED DO IT IN THE DOORWAY LIKE HELLO-- XDD

YEAH WH GET SOME SLEEP LEAVE THE STAYING UP TO US-- XDD

YES BABY JAIL, INTO THE UPSIDE DOWN LAUNDRY BASKET YOU KNIFE-WIELDING HEATHEN-- XDD oms XDD well I don't know them but I love them- YESSS THEYRE SO FLUFFY-- I'm actually curious what images pop up first imma check-- FLUFFY PUPPIES-- we've actually never owned ones that fluffy(those actually look more similar to shetland sheepdogs than the shelties we've had so far?? Very similar/similar enough where if someone doesn't know a sheltie we mention shetland sheepdogs), our current one is a purebred that we got for free(she was being given away bc her family never came back for her and the lady taking care of her couldn't afford the time to take care of a second dog long-term think) and she's got pretty short fur in comparison- still fluffy enough, but not quite so long of fur-- she's a blue merle(absolutely gorgeous fur, she's like 8 now with a lot of health problems but she's super loving still 💕💞) anyways about the fur, so long as you brush regularly you should mitigate most of that, and it mostly collects in corners- but like.. be prepared to eat and wear dog fur for the rest of your life-- (actually there's a thing called a fur zapper we bought recent that you put in with your clothes when you wash/dry them(I think it's dry but idk??) that's supposed to get a lot of hair off your clothes in that process? Also lint rollers are your best friend--) AND roombas are really helpful(we bought a knockoff one and rarely have to sweep ever so 👀) XDD WHEEZE I can't even imagine what you did-- but like you could ask for a budgie/parakeet /hj I mean, they aren't very expensive (actually they're pretty cheap) but they're very loud, need a lot of attention(especially if you want them to bond to you!) and you need to research into them a lot to make sure you're doing things right-- loads of vids online!! Loads of websites too!!! I'd know I have one- JUST A WARNING, FEATHERS AND SEED HULLS GET ALL OVER YOUR FLOOR XD p l u s like you have a friend who knows stuff about birbs :3 anyways ENOUGH RAMBLING FROM ME WOW THAT GOT LONG--

💕💕 I feel that XD OMS-- I WISH-- WHAT A D R E A M - s n a k - Awww but what a mood XD

XDDD oms YES-- EXACTLY-- XDDDD another good thing you should try eventually is SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE WHICH IS APPARENTLY DELICIOUS??? I TRIED IT FOR THE FIRST TIME(AT LEAST IN A WHILE) TODAY AND IT WAS SO FUCKIN TASTY????

H E A THEN-- XDD how cool of them to try tho :3 whEEZE Y 'A LL-- XDD

WHEEZE I SUCK WITH INSTRUMENTS SOOOO-- DAMN THA'S SOME BAD LUCK MY DUDE-- MAYBE YOU'RE CURSED DAMN-- oms wOWW--

Yesss-- ooh I've never played 👀 seen some stuff but never played-- (see: my computer sucks XD) I h a v e played Portal 1 and it is SO GOOD and SO SHORT and I WISH I HAD GOTTEN PORTAL 2 INSTEAD BUT THATS OKAY CRIES-- YESSSS THE SONGS SLAP--- ALSO THERE ARE ACTUALLY TWO WHOLE MORE CANON(PROBABLY KINDA MAYBE NOT?? IDK) SONGS, ONE FROM A LEG DIMENSIONS GAME("You Wouldn't Know") AND ONE THAT WAS CUT FROM PORT TWO("Don't Say Goodbye"(Harry101UK made an edit to make it Glados' voice!!)) THERE ARE ALSO A BUNCH OF GOOD FAN SONGS SO YEAH-- ALSO NOT TO BE A SIMP BUT GLADOS' VOICE? PERFECTION. I LOVE HER. ALSO I COULD LITERALLY DETAIL THE PORTAL LORE I AM INCREDIBLY EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN THIS GAME-- ALSO THERES A CLIP THAT SOMEONE MADE USING A (VERY GOOD) GLADOS TTS TO HAVE GLADOS SAY TRANS RIGHTS AND ENBY RIGHTS AND IF I FIND IT AGAIN ILL SEND IT TO YOU-- YOU COULD PROBABLY FIND IT IF YOU LOOM UP GLADOS SAYS TRANS RIGHTS? IT HAS A VIDEO WITH TRANS FLAG COMPANION CUBES ACCOMPANYING IT-- ALSO YES THE PORT MODS(/ADD-ONS? MAYBE? THEY'RE COMMUNITY MADE I THINK BUT IDK ALL I KNOW IS THAT THEYRE COOL AF--) (also I apologize for all the screaming? XD it's like, four am and I was talking about portal so.. whoops?)

Right like wth???? I???? Okay but like December to February babies just fuckin DONT EXIST IN THIS GEN OR SOMETHIN-- CAUSE I FIND N O N E -- Maybe there are more December babies but there are definitely like NO January to February babies it is So Weird--

NEJFQOBGKW WOWW d an g like-p l e a se s t op over sp r aying-- xD and LEGITTTT LIKE- THAT WAS M Y ROLE TO STAY UP LATE- XDD

WHEHEHEZE- LAUNDRY BASKET TIME- G E T I N XDD anD YESS- any doggo is just such a cute doggo 😭💞💞 but for me- fLUFFY ONES ARE WHERE ITS A T- and ohhhh i see- FOR FREE?? W H A T A S T E A L XDD but awwww the poor doggg at least she's with you now ! ;0;; 💞💞😭 aaw such a lovable puppup 😭😭💞 and oHHH i see :00 but oh no- xD i also have a friend that has two dogs and whenever he would give me gifts- there would be dog hair on them no matter what- XDD and ooOhhh those sound really helpful! omg- i swear i dont have to have a pet for the need of a roomba- i already shed so much hair myself its so crazy-- xDD and oH MAN loud animals are really gon get my mom fired up- and OO birds just look so cuteee i always fantasize of having one- but then again- with the noise and all xD the more i think about it i dont think we are prepared to have a pet at all xD but i still dream of at least having one pet in my lifetime!

and OO that sounds awesome!! i have no clue if i even tried casserole before- man- sometimes i just eat food without even knowing wth it is XDDD but THAT SOUNDS so gooodddd :O

and LEGITT LIKE- TF IS HAPPENING WITH MY SCHOOL LIFE- XDD and oh my god- IT GETS WORSE- that year there was a FREAKINGG FIREEEEEEE- it wasnt that dangerous thank god- but it had to get a whole ass room renovated because of it- and guess what room it was- THE ORCHESTRA ROOM- AND GUESS WHAT M A D E I T W OR SE- that year- it was the first time the school replaced those 10+ year old instruments with new ones- NOW THEYRE B U R N T- and mind you that the school's budget isnt so- gr e a t- like oh my god i am still so bewildered over HOW MUCH chaos HAPPENED that year- and i thought that year was gon be the year- yknow? like UGH

and OHH MANN playing portal sounds awesome! but i just dont think the game would be worth my money cause i know the plot- and even with the mods and all my brain would be broken as i would possibly have no clue what to do- xDDD

and HOOOO MANNN game fan songs are just so AWESOMEEE- and those sound pretty cool! :OO and HOLY SHIT FUCK YEAH- GLADOS SAYS TRANS AND ENBY RIGHTS Y A LL- now im gonna look that up and let my ears be blessed by such words- XDDD and DONT WORRY BOUT SCREAMING ALOT- i scream a whole dam lot too XDD

and LEGITTT- finding someone's b-day in january and feb is so rare all of a sudden like wh a t - XDD

[toxicxxmyth]

Dating Christopher Vélez headcanon

Authors Note: Don’t know if I rlly have to mention this but I called Chris a fuckboy in this like 20+ times so don’t be offended m8 and just like Richards, this is all over the place

Richard‘s headcanon

Christopher has mentioned many many MANY times that he is not looking for a relationship

My man is getting that good good PussAy ;))))))

And he ain’t looking for no commitment :(:

We stan a fuck boy ;)

So it probably took him like three encounters to notice you

The first time was at a house party and y’all talked for like five seconds and then went your separate ways

You remember him

He didn’t even remember your hair color lol

The second time was also at a party

You were looking for your car keys but you spotted the cute guy you talked to for like a second

So you asked if he’d seen your keys like a fkn dumbass

And he was like “nah m8 😔”

And you were like “aight 🤘😔”

And he thought you were hot so that’s a start

Then the third time was also another party

And then y’all saw each other again and made a convo this time

He for sure remember you this time cause he wasn’t as tipsy as before

Lol

So that’s how y’all met

But just like Richard

It took this boy a long time to actually get his shit together and be like

“I actually like this girl”

Ya feel?

But you already liked him

But you understood his position

You were actually grateful that he didn’t just agree to go out with you if he wasn’t certain about you

It saved you the heart break

But after many MANY months

He gave in, and he was grateful for your patience

Anywhore

Now to the headcanon of dating the Ecuadorian fuck boy who we love

There is never a day where you’re bored

He’s always got something planned for the day

Lazy days are superior tho

His laugh could cure your acne, sadness’s and anxiety

Thank God he laughs every damn day

HE WILL FOR SURE TEACH YOU HOW TO SKATEBOARD

And if you already know how to skateboard then y’all will ride together like actual goals

He goes all out when it comes to dates

Will take you to the most expensive restaurants in the area

For sure will buy you a fancy ass dress

I highly believe that out of all the members he’s the one who’ll spoil you the most

Like fuck

It’s a lot

When he’s away on tour he’ll have a bIG ASS bouquet of flowers sent to you or chocolate

Will surprise you jewelry, food, clothes aNYTHING

you’ll have to remind him that he doesn’t have to do any of that but he insists on doing them bc he loves spoiling you sm

Yet when you return the favor by buying him something small he’s all like

“:0 thIS IS TOO MUCH, AMOR”

and you’re like “???? Khe ???”

For sure will teach you Spanish if you don’t already

Staring by cuss words ofc :’)

Whenever y’all go to the club he always comes up to you like you’re a stranger or smth

“I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?” ;)

“ChRisssss”

He’d try this the whole night making random guys come to your “rescue”

Chris is laughing his ass off while you calmly tell them that it’s just your bf

He doesn’t seem to be the jealous type

He’s v confident that u love him and only him

Which is true

It takes a lot in him to get jealous

But when he does

OOFFF

You better be scared

He never takes it out on you, just the guy who seemed to cross a boundary that Chris drew in his imagination

You’re the one who gets jealous easily for sure

SO MANY PRETTY FEMALES THROWING THEMSELVES ON HIM MAKES YOU SEE RED

But he always shows you that you’re the only one he wants if you know what I mean ;)

Honestly, y’all don’t even cook, just order a shit ton of food while watching movies or the both of you just work on your individual projects

If you ever get stressed over work or a project from uni hes always there

Softly rubbing your shoulder as he presses kisses soft kisses along the shell of your ear sending shiver down your spine as you relaax

It might lead to ;) or it could end in you cuddling until you get your mojo back

The sEX is bOmB bTw ;))))))))

Like, this dude is so into overstimulation and subspace that he’ll have you c*mmimg multiple times a night :):

Ooff

Edging is suCH a big turn on for this boy

Y’all fuck like rabbits no doubt

Public sEx is definitely HIS thing

Expect a quickie after each show in his dressing room when you visit him on tour ;)

Anything you do is such a turn on for him

You literally make him feel like a hormonal teenager again

I’m 92% sure this boy will cry one tour bc he misses you sm

Which leads you to surprising him on the other side of the world

Which he is super grateful for :’)

And then y’all have some bomb sex cause y’all a bunch of sex addicts m8

Whenever he feels down he just rests his head on your boobs and wrap his long arms around your body

You let him rant as much as he wants

And somehow you know whether or not he wants advice or just someone to listen

vice versa

Now imma be 100% honest

Don’t @ me

I feel like it’ll take such a long time for Chris’s mother to actually like you

He’s such a mommas boy that just seeing him with another woman might make her skeptical

Ooff I’m crossing dangerous grounds here

He’s siblings and grandmother automatically loved you, but his mother was distant

Christopher has to have a heartfelt conversation with her about it beCAUSE HE LOVES YOU SM AND HE NEEDS THE WOMAN OF HIS LIFE TO ACCEPT THAT

This lowkey makes you feel like an intruder

You feel as if you’re ruining their relationship

But you’ll also have a heartfelt convo with her and at the end of the day y’all would get along once she sees how much you love and care for her son

It probably took a year for y’all to move in together

But when you do, y’all have even more fun and adventures than before

Y’all goals asf

Most of his ig stories are about you

Videos, promoting your posts etc the whole package deal

Subtle matching tattoos

You say “I love you” first and he’s all blushy and giggle which makes you all bullishly and giggly as well :’)

And y’all just make love as he repeats the words and over and over :’)

He always has his hands around your shoulder

Pulling you closer at the most random times

HUGS EVERYWHERE MAN

Omfg this man smells like christmas heaven

Just like his mom, your family wasn’t certain about him first

And by your family i mean your dad(or male figure if you’re dadless :’)

Making him sad

But you’ll do your best to convince you dad that he is a good guy wHICH HE IS!!!!

After a while, he gave Chris a shot

And that’s all you ask for Tbfh

Will subtly mention you in interviews which would cause the guys to give each other knowing stares

Just Like Richard, you receive hate after hate

BUT YALL FICKING TOO HARD TO NOTICE!!

It sometimes gets to you but Chris is always there to comfort you

Making you go all uwu

He goes full mom mode whenever you get sick

Will google your symptoms

Lowkey has a mental breakdown when google tells him that you only have two weeks to live lol

He later calls his mom and she tells him what he should do

Will try to help you with your work but he just gives you a look and gives tf up

Soft hours late at night

You guys talk about your future and marriage and kids and it just lives you all soft and warm inside

Little did you know that he feels the exact same

You’d be in his arms slightly leaning against the headboard as your dress hands play with each other fingers talking about nothing and everything

Sings to you whenever you have trouble sleeping

THE GUYS LOVE YOU

Did I mention that? Lol

Just like any new friendship

Y’all were awkward at first but after a few minutes of getting to know each other they all loved you

Especially Erick, that boy is your child and you will protect him from any danger in the world lmao

That’s it my ppl :’)

Deuces once again :’)🤙🏼

[comicsnas]

showtime

WARNING: eye gore!!, violence Disclaimer: this is..... an au where guy fieri isnt a cool and chill dude that just likes food. i am very sorry for what i do to him in this. i dont mean it and if the cops knock at my door i will blame it on hussie word count: about 3.7k. i am so sorry

context john gets kidnapped by his mom dave doesnt panic

Los Angeles, CA, Wednesday

“No matter what happens, nobody cancels the premiere,” you say. “Okay? No matter what’s in the news. No matter how bad it gets. The movie drops on Thursday, and people are gonna watch it. Got it? This is a scare tactic and we’re not falling for it. Even if the world is ending, we are premiering this movie and going through with the promo. With or without me.”

Catalena, your manager, has been with you for too long to think that you’re joking. She was who flew you in from Houston to LA back when you were twenty, who let you sleep on your couch until you made enough money to get an apartment, who thought that the message you had for the world was one worthy of her help. She knows that all of this is real, and that she can’t stop you.

Her face says, Dave, you’re scaring me. Her mouth says, “You got it. Could you at least tell me… what you think is going to be in the news that would make us not premiere it?”

“Something bad,” you say. “Hopefully, anyway.”

She tilts her head. “Are you faking your death?”

“Lalonde and I are gonna disappear for a sec,” you say. “How people interpret that is gonna be up to them.”

“Not like you to leave things up to chance,” Catalena says. “Some will think it’s elaborate PR.”

“That’s why I’m only telling you. Lalonde and I are gonna frame this to look serious, and no one else is gonna know what’s going on. You keep your cool, but don’t let anyone know that you’re in on it.”

“I mean, I barely am.” She gives you a Look, a capital L Look, then sighs and nods. “Fine. So if I hear about your presumed death tomorrow, I won’t freak out. At what point am I allowed to assume you are actually dead, and freak out a little bit?”

“If you don’t hear from me in a week,” you say, “then Lalonde and I have been killed by Betty Crocker.”

Houston, TX, twelve years ago

You’re blind.

That’s not true. You’re not blind. You don’t think you are going to be blind. There is no way that you’re fully blind, because the assassin only got your right eye, so it doesn’t make sense for you to be blind, but you’re blind.

The pain might originate from your right eye, but it’s engulfing your entire head by now, and there is something sticky in your left eye and you can’t open it anymore and it burns, and you’re going to go blind, and then you’re going to die in a ditch, in a pool of your own blood, and this is it. It’s over. You and your half sister fucked around on the internet a bunch, got really deep into some conspiracy theories, and barely two weeks after you made the discovery that Betty Crocker definitely, undoubtedly, literally is an actual alien, someone was sent to kill you.

They didn’t manage, so far. They got your eye, and they broke your glasses, leaving a cut on your nose, and a bunch of cuts everywhere else, and you think you cracked your head open when you fell. But you cut their knife hand off, good and clean off, watched it fall to the ground right in front of you. By the time it hit the pavement, the assassin had already turned around and ran away, leaving you to crumple and suffer here by yourself.

This is it.

“Strider?” Rose says. Before the blood trickling into your good eye ruined your vision, you managed to dial her number and call her up, and now you’re lying on your side with your phone pressed to your ear, imagining her in her college dorm room in New York. You were going to visit her there, years ago, after you ran away from your parents. It never worked out. Neither of you has the money. You really wish you could have seen her at least once.

“Yeah,” you croak. “You at home?”

“At the dorm, yes. What’s going on?”

“You gotta go. She sent someone after me, she’s gonna come for you too. If she knows that I know, she’ll know that you know.”

One of the most comfortable parts of friendship with Rose, you’ve found, is that she never asks you to clarify what the fuck you’re talking about. Either she just lets you ramble, or she knows exactly what you mean. “Shit,” she hisses, and you can hear rustling on her side of the line, hopefully from her getting ready. She probably has a getaway bag somewhere, you think. You have one, but not on you right now. It’s too late for that.

“They’ve already hit me, so whoever she sent to you can’t be far,” you say. You try to blink your eye open, but then it hurts the other more, and it burns. You can’t even tell where exactly. It just burns. “Hurry up, Lalonde.”

“They’ve hit you?” she echoes, still rustling, breathing into the phone. On the move. Good. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you say. “Gonna call an ambulance after this. Just get the fuck out and text me later, yeah?”

Rose pauses. You can hear her pause, you can hear everything go very silent for a second. She says, “You called me before you called for help?”

“Yeah,” you say. She told you, once, that there is a quick and easy way out the window of her second-storey dorm room, that lets her balance over to her girlfriend’s room only a few windows ahead. She can’t hide there, it’s too close, but it’s a start. She’ll figure it out, she always will. She was the first person to ever have your back. “Of course I did.”

On a plane, Thursday morning

“What’s on your mind?” Rose asks.

You’re leaned back, staring out the window, listening to the clicking of her knitting needles next to you. The pilot here doesn’t know who he’s dealing with, just that he is flying two rich people and their car to Washington, DC. Your Mustang is in the cargo part of the plane, a vital part of the plan. You’ll torch it later. It was the first car you bought with your own money, after SBaHJ had become big and you had finally paid off your hospital debt.

Rose’s apartment isn’t that old, she got it after Roxy was born and she decided to move to Los Angeles, so you could help each other babysit. Trashing it still felt wrong. A home is a home, but you wanted it to look broken into, to make sure that people put two and two together. This isn’t a Dave Strider marketing scheme, you both got hit. After all the work that you’ve done, at least some of the public should understand what that means.

“Us,” you say.

“That’s very sentimental,” she says. “Are you sure you aren’t mourning your car again?”

“Shut up,” you say, and blindly swat at her, hitting her elbow. She hits you back, hand slapping your shoulder. “It’s a good car.”

Rose hums. When you look at her, she’s already back to knitting. You have no idea what she’s making, but it looks like a onesie for an octopus. “We will be fine,” she says. “We have to.”

You nod, and go back to staring out the window, thinking about what Alma said. “It’s just,” you say quietly. “We gotta start thinking about the endgame, here, don’t we.”

“Start?” Rose echoes. “Dave, we know the endgame to this. We’ve known for a while. The second you landed in the hospital with a cut inside your eyeball, you and I both knew that this would end in death.”

You don’t say anything. She’s right, of course she is. You knew then, and she knew, as soon as you texted her from your hospital bed, and she texted you back from a Greyhound bus. And you tried to forget, you both did, for a very long time. You almost managed, for a whole decade, until last year, someone made you scared and angry enough to ram a sword through his throat. Until Rose came and disassembled the body on your rooftop, and then helped you burn it. Reality has caught up with you, and someone is going to die.

The clicking of her needles has stopped again. You turn your head to look at her, and she’s looking back at you, and her face seems younger than it should be. She is just as scared as you are. Neither of you ever wanted it to go this far. Neither of you wanted to kill.

“I don’t like it either,” Rose says. “But someone is going to wind up dead, and it sure as shit isn’t gonna be us.”

Washington, DC, now

)(IC: u comin or what TG: yeah about that

You’re on the hood of your car. The children -- and Sally, John’s pet hedgehog -- are with the one sitter you still trust. Rose is in position, which means she is at a remote location outside the city holding Guy Fieri hostage. She has sent you a picture of him tied to a chair and gagged, which means that it’s go time.

All according to plan.

TG: how about you come kill me somewhere else instead of home sweet home )(IC: why would i do that TG: dying mans last request? )(IC: stfu lol this is so obviously a trap TG: wow ok so is yours )(IC: fair TG: just thought that you know TG: john means something to both of us and dont try to tell me no because i know he does TG: so like can we maybe duke it out somewhere where i wont accidentally blow him to smithereens TG: innuendo intended )(IC: UG)( )(IC: gross TG: lmao TG: anyway bethany you know me and you know im comin with c4 in my backpack if im comin TG: do you really want that around your son or can you just get off your ass and meet me here so john stays safe )(IC: u reely think ya have a fighting chance to even get that far )(IC: buoy you set one foot in my house and ya get spearfished TG: yeah not really making a great point for me to come there rn TG: just thought maybe youd wanna be with your guy guy )(IC: who TG: you know TG: guy the guy )(IC: tf

You text her the picture that Rose sent, just Guy Fieri looking miserable, no indication of whether or not you or Rose are with him.

)(IC: )(-EY )(IC: motherglubber what do u think yoar doin TG: yoar??? TG: thats literally not a word. wym you oar?? what TG: anyway im gonna dismember this asshole if you dont agree to keep john safe and come here and im gonna start with the frosted tips )(IC: FIN--E )(IC: cant effin wait to be done with you )(IC: ill come krill ya if its so shrimportant just gimme the location TG: ok shrimportant is actually pretty funny TG: [coordinates] TG: see you soon

She drives a fuchsia Jaguar that looks like Xzibit threw up all over it, because of course she does. You watch it leave from your perch on your Mustang, then slide off the hood. shes gone, you text Rose. get ready to bounce

Before you leave, you turn back toward you car, and gently pat the roof. “See you soon,” you repeat, “for one last ride.”

Look, it’s a good car, alright.

Later on in the plan, once you’ve convinced John to come with you, and Rose has joined you in the no doubt brutal course out of the house littered with security guards, the three of you will pack into this car, and you will drive. You will be tailed, you know you will. Rose and you estimate two to three SUVs with more security personnel that will follow you, and sooner or later, you won’t stand a chance against them.

So, you’ll call the cops. You don’t usually do this -- even during all these years, neither you nor Crocker ever called the police on each other, and technically, you still won’t, today. You will just anonymously call authorities, and tell them about a burning car by the side of the road. Then you will hang up, and you and Rose and John will hop out of a moving vehicle as you crash your beloved Mustang and have it go up in flames. Authorities will come and find Dave Strider’s infamous car, and hopefully that’ll get people talking.

Crocker’s guys will hopefully exit their cars and go looking for you, or at least for John. It’s an easy con from there -- while they look, you will steal their SUVs and drive off toward your safehouses. Simple. No sweat.

“This better work,” you mutter to yourself, then leave your car behind and start climbing the fence around Crocker manor.

You’ve been here once before, while she was out and John was showing you around. You weren’t actively trying to case the place back then, just spending time with your boyfriend and checking out where he grew up, but you couldn’t help how curious you were. You still remember the most important spots, and you did your best to paint a proper picture of them to Rose (you drew a map in MS Paint), so now you have a pretty good idea of where you need to go.

The guard posts, of course, are randomized. You’ll have to take these as they come, and you feel prepared enough, with just your sword and a handful of knives. You’re wearing the kevlar you wore to the Oscars. You’re gonna be fine.

It’s a race against time now, knowing that there is no guarantee when Crocker will be catching on and returning to her house, and knowing that you stand no chance actually fighting her face to face. You climbed in toward the side of the house, because it’s the shortest distance between fence and wall. The front and back yards are ridiculously huge and opulent, and while you would have plenty of gaudy statues to hide behind, you’re not looking to make your way through there.

The first guard spots you right as you hop down off the fence, and your knife is in his shoulder before he even finishes drawing his gun on you. He’s also wearing a vest, but those don’t stop blades, and you take offense in knowing that she made them dress up like that. As if either you or Rose were going to show up with guns. She really doesn’t know you at all. You knock out the guard with a hit of the knife grip against his temple. Maybe you can get through this without deaths.

One of them you comfortably take out from behind a useless fountain placed in this part of the garden for some reason, appreciating how quiet and low-key you can be about it so far. The bigger the ruckus, the sooner she’ll return, so having them all go down in silence is your best case scenario.

It’s the third guard that ruins your track record. You’re almost at the house wall, and you know you’re under the right window, which means all you have to do is scale it and climb right into John’s room, but for that to work you need to have a clean path behind you. Which you don’t, you realize the second a bullet hits your back.

Your vest catches it, but the momentum still knocks you down, and you scrape both of your palms open on the weird break between lawn and pavement. You hate this fucking garden. Who lives like this? You’re gasping for breath and trying not to inhale any grass, dealing with the reality that this is the first time someone has shot at you and actually hit you, and the bullet might not have penetrated skin at all, but Jesus Fucking Christ it still feels awful. Like someone kicked you in the spine, only with a bullet instead of a foot.

Onward. You hear footsteps behind you, and now it’s your turn to kick, hitting them in the face with your boot in the same motion that you’re pushing yourself up from the ground. As they curse and stumble, you draw your sword, but they catch their footing quickly, and you know you only have a split second to act. That gun is pointing at you, again, or still, and they’re going for your head this time, and if you don’t fight now, the journey ends for you here. Someone is going to die, and it sure as shit can’t be you. Your arm darts forward.

The sword goes through their vest, their ribs, and their heart -- you wouldn’t call it smoothly, you really wouldn’t. You can feel resistance with every inch, you feel it right up to your shoulder, and you hate it, and it makes you want to throw up, but you can’t, now. You shove them off your blade and watch them crumple to the ground, and turn right back toward the wall. They are not getting up again. That’s on you, and you can deal with that later. You have to get moving.

Your phone vibrates.

You manage to pull yourself up on a balcony and crouch there, hiding from whatever is going on in the yard now. Other guards must have heard the shot being fired, so you really need to get the fuck out of sight, but this has to do, for now. If Crocker is messaging you, you have to respond, so she doesn’t think you’re in her goddamn garden.

)(IC: yo )(IC: send me proof yoar still with him )(IC: almost there this betta be worth it TG: one sec

As expected. All according to plan, so far. You hope the blood on your sword won’t make the sheath sticky. You’ll have to clean it, later. You don’t want to.

TG: shes asking for proof TG: go ahead. sorry TT: No worries. TT: I know we don’t endorse violence, but honestly, Dawon, after being in a room with him for this long, I am quite happy to do this.

She sends you a picture, and you grimace at your phone. It takes a lot to make you grimace, as a Strider born and raised -- at the same time, you’re not easily shocked or grossed out, but this isn’t great to look at. Fieri’s eye has been pulled from its socket, dangling down his cheek suspended from the nerve, a hole in the eyeball. You hope Crocker won’t be able to tell that this was done with a knitting needle, and forward the photo to her.

TG: hows this )(IC: )(--EY FUCK OFF )(IC: stop i reely like guy 38( TG: yeah well i really like john TG: eye for an eye TG: hurry it up im waiting and theres a second eye to gauge out )(IC: ten minutes )(IC: ur gonna be so sorry buoy

TG: 10 mins TT: On my way.

Okay. Crocker is on her way to a location where there will only be Guy Fieri and a set of elaborate boobytraps which you know won’t kill her, but hopefully slow her down. Rose is on her way here, to help you and John get out of here. That’s plenty of time you still have. Things are going suspiciously well, you think, before you remember the ache in your back and the fact that you killed someone.

You have to get to John.

He’s another two floors up, but you are right in front of a balcony door. For a second, you wonder if you could get into the house from here and do the rest from inside, so you don’t present yourself to the mob of people with guns in the garden. Unfortunately, before you can do that, another person with a gun appears on the other side of that door, mouths an angry what the fuck at you, and draws an assault rifle. Alright, well.

The thing that has mostly kept you from becoming too violent in the past is the fact that you’re fast, and you’re a great climber, so when you hop backward onto the banister of the balcony and pull yourself up to the next one above you, it happens so fast that nobody in the garden reacts. It’s after you’re already crouching behind the balcony, thankfully made of robust concrete, that the shots start hitting it. You do nothing, count the bullets, wait for them to get rid of half of their magazines down there. Then you pull a knife, peek over the balcony, and throw it right into someone’s bicep.

More shots. More ducking and counting. You have two more knives to throw, and you do, rinse and repeat. The people down there are very angry with you now, and very much still able to shoot, but you figure at least their aim will be off, and they’ll be slower. You hope. You haven’t held a gun yourself in fucking forever.

You take a breath, and jump up to grab the balcony you know belongs to John.

As soon as you’re in the open, another bullet hits your back, further toward your side this time, and you almost let go. You let out an undignified noise instead, and hold on harder, focusing all you have into your arms to pull yourself up. Shots are ringing in your ears, and one hits the concrete right next to your head at almost the same time that another one grazes your leg. You hiss in pain, grunt in exertion, pull, pull, and roll yourself onto John’s balcony.

Someone in the garden yells, “Motherfucker!”

You sit, curled up, and pull apart the tear in your pants with your aching fingers to check the wound. It’s not deep, certainly not as bad as the chunk of missing flesh you have in your arm from being shot at last year. It’s fine. You’ll forget about it in a second, when your newest problem will be telling your amnesiac boyfriend that he needs to come with you.

You pull yourself up into a crouch, not more. You don’t want to risk getting shot in the head as you finally face him, so you just do it like this. Hunkered down, disheveled and bloody, you lean forward and knock on John’s window.

[ultraclops]

Semi-live Blogging: Return of the Mao Mao Episodes

Before we start, is it just me or is the animation like 10x smoother than it usually is? Also like I said with Nakey, there’s a lot more good expressions too!

Lucky Ducky Mug

Adorabat drinks from sippy cup like baby

"What, Mao Mao's ridiculous mug?" says Badgerclops, holding a cheap plastic big gulp cup he probably got from the grocery store.

How did Adorabat not notice the Lucky Ducky sticker on the Aerocycle

"Don't touch it" (Badgerclops proceeds to slam the table to move it) Ah Badgerclops, ever the contrarian

I'M SORRY DID MAO MAO BLOW THE ROOF OFF OF HQ BY SCREAMING

I love the way Mao says "PROFESSIONAAAL SILENCEEE"

Badgerclops trying to make his mouth disappear and failing made me scream with laughter

Are they seriously reducing Ratarang to 'the funny lil Italian guy'? C’mon guys you’re better than this

Wait why do they think Kevin is Adorabat?? They've seen Adorabat multiple times?? "But they're both blue!" You FOOL Kevin is TEAL there's a difference

Everybody gangsta til Mao Mao's ears start speaking morse code

They're doing surprisingly good silent but it's probably not gonna be that way very long.

Thank you, Lucky Ducky Mug, for catering to my niche interest in characters with neon outlines on black backgrounds.

Mao Mao thinking: Normal thoughts

Badgerclops thinking: Musical-esque singing

Adorabat thinking: Literally just heavy metal

The Sweetypies seriously think they're just playing a really intense game of charades huh,,,

(Mao jabs BC in the stomach with the fire net) HAHA GET REKT

The scene with Badgerclops trying to give Mao Mao Penny's mug is the funniest shit in the world I couldn't stop laughing...or maybe I'm just sleep-deprived

So the Sky Pirates are so similar compared to the Sheriff's Dept. that they can think perfectly in sync? That's cool

SKY PIRATES SONG SKY PIRATES SONG

Why is Snugglemagne throwing a random tea party & why did he only invite the Sheriff's Dept.

Yep there goes the plan. Both of their plans.

Am I going crazy or did the skin on Mao Mao's mouth tear apart like it was sewn shut?! Also yay they're talking again

"It's not gonna stop charging, so I'm just gonna let it explooode..." Mood

"What about the mega laser tube made by mega Losers?" Fsfhkfh

Hey, everyone learned something new from this experience! Are the Sky Pirates gonna try that Hive Mind tactic from now on?

Awww, they fixed his mug with gold - GOD DAMN IT I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH!!

Lonely Kid

(Sighs) ...I said (SIGHS)

"I literally can't relate to that problem at all." says Badgerclops, who joined a gang because he wanted people to like him.

Shin just dropped off Mao Mao at a summer camp and expected him to make friends? Why does this feel like the plot of Camp Camp

I'm sorry the Mao clan has a freaking PARTY AERO-BUS??

NOO GERALDINE

That BGM is DEFINITELY an extended version of "I Love You, Mao Mao" and I want the lyrics NOW

So Bao was literally just a stray that Mao took home?? Would make sense as to why he wasn't trained

I have a feeling the Flimborg is some sort of sacred being the townspeople worship for some reason

How in the hell did Mao tie that guy up and why didn't he bother to untie him

HOW'D HE SET THE ROCKS ON FIRE USING PAINT

"And then you become frien-" "BEES. IN THE EYES."

"Everyone knows bees are our friends!" "Uh, actually, they were wasps." "Friends to no-one!" Usually I'd agree with BC, but I read an article about someone befriending a wasp and her babies so.

So the Mao clan's just known as the "Golden Cat Family Up The Hill?" Huh. I thought they’d have more recognition, especially since Shin says he went to that same summer camp at the beginning.

Man those kids are jackasses

"Say hi to your mommy!" "I would if she was here..." Excuse me wHAT

Noo don't cry baby boi - tHEN BAO JUST TACKLES HIM ASFHDKDL

"Go away! I don't feel like laughing right now!"

Look. You can see the EXACT point Mao developed his adult personality

I know Mao Mao means well but that is gonna go terribly wrong.

"I AM A HERO! I WILL BE LOVED!!" Okay first of all OUCH, second of all THAT IS PAIN

This monster empty, YEET

Awww it was just a sweet little puppy-ish monster...and it was his BIRTHDAY

"Hi, Aunt Gloria!" (Pulls out pitchfork) BETRAYAL

He didn't feel bad about ruining the festival because he made a friend doing it I 💞💞💝💝💗💗

Thanks for that 'different times' comment cuz I don't want kids thinking being beat is normal.

"Just like you found me...and I'm your best friend!" Tbh I thought she was gonna say 'Me and Badgerclops' & that would make a lot more sense

Why are they fighting over who's his best friend they're obviously BOTH his best friends

I'm sorry did Badgerclops just call Adorabat a "little mutant"?? ARE THE SWEETYPIES MUTANTS??

Awww his friends love him sm...and he feels so loved too...💓💓💗💗💕💕

Try Hard

No one gives a shit about Pinky being kidnapped lol

"K for Copyright Infringement"

"You'll never be like me!" Oof a little harsh maybe?

"You've gotta learn to be your own kind of hero, in your own special way!" So THAT'S where it's from

"You just gotta...try hard." Hey, title drop!

Ngl the moment Mao Mao said "Badgerclops take the shot" I immediately thought of The Confession 3 by TomSka

"Up in a tree, little old me, about to do something...UGLY..." 7-year-old me sniping people on Halo 3 like

Why is he shooting them with gelatin tho? ...oh. Oh THAT'S why.

Tbh if I didn't have subtitles on I would've thought BC was saying "beep boop"

This badger and cat empty, YEET

Adorabat walking into the Skyship with only a walkie-talkie is giving me some sort of vibes...OH, Silent Hill! Or Tattletail

WHOOP HIS ASS SWEETIE

"Mao Mao would hide the body!" Very unsubtle there, wonder how it got past censors

"Ratarang, say something!" "Pasketti?" "THAT'S THE BRAT!"

Wait a sec, they can just use Badgerclops' arm to power the ship? Why didn't they try that in CapturedClops?

"Good thing my head is in here cuz I'm a-scared of heights!" Ramaraffe. Whose whole schtick is making herself taller. Is acrophobic?

"Because she's Sheriff's Department, that's how! >:3" "Also y'all tend to be pretty incompetent >X/"

Why does she keep trying to use the elevator when she can fly? Nvm she climbed up Badgerclops' arm

"Ooooh I'm also hereeee"

"JERK BUTT"

Why is the Omega Field just a bunch of broken glass? And why doesn't she just step around it?

"I can fly!" "She can fly!" "SHE FORGOT?!" Ooh that's why

"You're the best thing to ever happen to a bat like me." 💝💝💕💕💓💓

Wait she's talking through the walkie-talkie and her molts are there but she isn't there where is she?

Oh she was freeing the other two from the gelatin. No wonder Mao Mao almost threw up, it was bug flavored.

GET HIS ASS, HONEY!! ADORASLAP!!

I hope that 'Nah' means Adorabat's realized she needs to be herself instead of her just rejecting her individuality like I think it is.

Scared Of Puppets

Oh, so this takes place after Sleeper Sofa! Praying it's a fix-it episode...

"DISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T BRING YOU JOY!!" Fuckin Marie Kondo up in here

Oh no PTSD flashbacks. He's scared of them cuz one's head landed on his lap as a kid? Understandable have a nice day.

Who tf collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor then leaps back up and insists they're fine? Mao Mao, apparently.

Hairless ape? Is that what they call humans or are they something different in general?

"TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!" What did BC want an antique puppet for if he had no idea Mao was scared of them...

Mr. Din Dandalib!

"I...(eye twitch) love him too..."

IM SORRY DID HE FUCKING THROW UP OUT OF FEAR...holy SHIT

If I scared my friend and they threw up I would simply never do that again. RIP to Badgerclops but I'm different

(Badgerclops makes concrete blocks around the pothole) "Why didn't you just fill in the pothole??" "I AM TRYING MY BEST!!"

"I SIGNED YOUR DUMB CAST, NOW LEAVE!!"

...Illegal house plants? ...like marijua-

That was literally just that one video where a guy knocked out another guy in a mask jumping out of a trash can...

So it's a CPR class...AND a hair-styling class? How

I stg the moment Badgerclops walked in the door I knew he was carrying Mr. Din Danalin I SWEAR

"You're 10." "BUT I'M 6??" JFC Shin doesn't know his own son's age AND is partially responsible for his pupaphobia. And I called it on Mao Mao being six in the flashbacks

OH WIG

Can someone take the footage of the Annex exploding and add the ReviewTechUSA intro over it please

"How many Adult Learning Annexes have to be destroyed before you admit you're scared of puppets?!" is extremely funny without context

(Mao punches the wall cuz hes mad at himself for being scared) Kinkinkinkinki

How does one forget to drink milk

Oh shit the scene from the promo...

Yay he's starting to feel less scared - wait NVM it JUST STARTED TALKING??

OG SGUTVKC FGCJ OG SHKR OF DJCN JKKKKK

Oh it was just a dream - er, nightmare. FIRST NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE OF THE SERIES!

"I just gotta get my socks on...wait, I wear socks, right?" Dud e you wear NOTHING BUT A BELT...

"I KNEW SELLING THOSE HAIRLESS APE DOLLS WOULD ATTRACT DARK FORCES"

"There’s a lot of pu-" "PUBLIC DANGER"

Those puppets are alive I stg

"I'M A BIG BOI..."

Awwww she said what he told her at the beginning of the episode!

"I'M AFRAID OF PUPPETS" TITLE DROP YET AGAIN

Adorabat takes after Badgerclops sometimes I swear

Oooh shit sequel hook - oh NVM it was Badgerclops voice acting - NVM Mao Mao passed out. Dang

The Perfect Couple

Watermelon time babyyy

TRANSFORMATION TIME BABYYYY

Ah so he wanted to perfectly cut a watermelon in half, that's why he got so many?

"I need (counts on fingers) 600 more watermelons!" glad to see I'm not the only one who counts on my fingers

Why would Penny and Benny need 600 watermelons for their wedding? Also I called it on Penny & Benny being the couple

Mao Mao has to officiate the wedding? I thought priests did that

Please don’t throw up again Mao Mao

"I WILL BUY YOU A BAG TO HOLD YOUR STUFF..."

"A nondescript sack!!" Dude he just taking out the trash...

Nvm its just laundry

"I WILL TURN THIS BUSH AROUND"

Oh so THAT'S what Ramaraffe thought Kevin was Adorabat

"Why don't you buy me cake and do my laundry?" Are you implying you wanna marry Mao Mao, Badgerclops 👀

I lov Mao Mao's faces in this scene he legit looks like a bishouen anime protagonist

Nvm no transformation it's just his wedding outfit

Why did they invite Orangusnake and Boss Hosstritch to the wedding tho? What about when they hid in their moving truck and used their electricity - wait Badgerclops technically did that last one, nvm

Wait THEY DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING?? What a perfect couple huh

Is Mao Mao having hallucinations just gonna be a regular thing now....

IS PENNY SERIOUSLY GONNA MARRY ORANGUSNAKE OUT OF SPITE ASFSDGFUK

Why did Mao Mao say "melons" in a Spanish accent I'm scared

"They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?" They're definitely gonna change their minds now

"She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings! And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!" Isn't that just the plot of The Truth Stinks?

OH SHIT HE CUT ORANGUSNAKE IN HALF HOLY FUCK

He made Orangusnake officiate the wedding as punishment lol

Why are they,,,stepping on the watermelons?? Damn right Badgerclops I'd cry over that too

"What's, uh, your credit score like?" "850. Why, is that good?" "It's perfect..." HE WANTS TO MARRY MAO MAO NOW ASDFHKL