#dude 50 PERCENT HUH

[dunmer]

go on, guess what game i got really into this year

[mono-dot-jpeg]

boy failures for u - i. yoichi, s. nagi, s. ryusei, b. meguru

summary; in which some boys just love you so much, they simply can't function

genre/extra tags; scenarios, fluff, comedy, projecting my love for dog energy boys, they're so pathetic /pos, bachira is clumsy, ryusei is an embarrassingly horny dude (can confirm, he gets no bitches, absolutely ZERO play!!), nagi... is perfect as he is, yoichi,,,, is just socially awkward around people he has a crush on

[gender neutral reader]

a/n; look at me being fancy this one panel banner, slay. tbh i couldn't think of a good three photos to use for it so i tried this which is kind of nice. anyways i had a sudden thought hit me and it must be done. and what better anime to write for than the one where everyone has unexplainable gay tension between each other. i swear im as caught up as possible i think and i swear the gay tension is like,, crazy.

isagi yoichi is endearing. he's so bad at being normal around you. his face flushed a cute red, and his words barely managing to leave his mouth as you talk to him so sweetly. he doesn't know how to handle a crush. and it's so cute to tease him because he just doesn't know how to respond properly.

the times where he does manage to gain enough confidence to talk a conversation with you, he's never taking the lead in any of them. he's talking [somewhat] normally to you, answering your questions and [attempting] to reply to your thoughts and responses. of course, just don't flirt with him too hard. there's like a 50 percent chance he will understand it or not.

he can't even admire you correctly. when he attempts to give you a compliment, he's saying all the wrong words and apologizing profusely like he offended your entire bloodline. he's so utterly enchanted by you, he wonders if you're an angel sent just for him.

"you're so nice, y/n." "huh?" "i-i mean you're really cute! wait- i didn't mean that! fuck- not that i don't think you look cute! you're really a great person, you know?! sorry! i'm just gonna go back to practice...!"

nagi seishiro is so lazy that you can't help but watch over him. you understand why reo adores him (a little too much). he's a boy with pretty privilege and talent. he talks to you with such honesty that he unintentionally flirts with you. he doesn't know a lot of things well, but even he's had his fair share with understanding liking people (but that's only with the random dating sims he's tried).

when he manages to get on his feet, whether it's for a soccer match or you, he's stuck by you like a cute koala. he whines about everything being "too much of a hassle." but he finds himself walking around looking for you, no matter how far you are. he whines to you about how he had to get up to find you, and he's cuddling close to you. his mouth turned into his signature X shape as he pouts at you, annoyed that you just had to be away from him for more than a minute.

he tries so hard to be around you but at the cost of his laziness, he mutters to you about how much easier it would be if you just stay with him all the time like his purple-haired companion or his cactus pet. he fell for you first, but he makes it so easy for you to fall harder.

"why do you always have to do stuff?" "it's my job, sei." "you should just stay with me all the time. you take care of me so well."

shidou ryuusei is annoyingly desperate for you. if isagi was endearing, shidou was insolent. he speaks before he thinks. he has no shame in chasing after you. it's quite a feat that you haven't even shooed him away as much as sae has. you sort of find a friend in sae because of that. he always rolls his eyes when you mention him. he wonders why you keep being around the blonde jock, and you tell him, "who doesn't love a pathetic man?"

when he talks to you, he just can't read a room with you in it. he's the type of guy to say "this shot is for you." and it hits the goal post and then to his face. of course he'd never actually miss in a real match but i can guarantee that it would happen during a practice match. he unintentionally humiliates himself every time he tries to be cool. if sae is there, it's even worse. he's trying to bump up the flirting up to a 200 and failing miserably to woo either of you.

he's like those tweets where it's like, "how did i pull them? easy. i just went, PLEASEPLEAPLSEPWPLEAPLELA-". without fail, he basically tries to re-enact that but he doesn't even pull you because you'd much rather wait for him to actually be a decent man and grow the rest of his brain. though it doesn't seem he'll learn his lesson anytime soon.

"did i ever tell you how hot you look right now?" "yes. you have. multiple times. today." "please go out with me." "no."

bachira meguru is confusing. he's clingy, blunt, teasing, a little stupid but has the spirit, and an absolute cutie. he's passionate about what he likes. and surprise, surprise, he likes you. he's an infodumper but you don't mind at all. but sometimes those talks take a hard left into just telling you how much he likes you. you better hope you're strong because he will be jumping on you for a hug.

when he's just buzzing with excitement, he can't help but scramble by your side to cling onto you in any way that you will allow him to. he's not as boy failure as the others on this list because even when he fails to capture your heart, he's still succeeding in his book. he loves when you give him any sliver of attention. that's probably his thing as a boy failure. he is a hyper and needy dog who's too big to cuddle with but doesn't care. and you can't say no because then they just stare at you with those big eyes until you cave.

he's the type of guy to be confused when people ask if you're dating him and you say no. "what do you mean we're not dating? i thought this was the dating." he's never actually confessed, but he considers his "s-tier affection" to be confession enough. but he's kind of coward whether he realizes it or not. he's scared to actually say that he wants to be yours, but that's like an angsty story for another time, SO SHUT.

"what if we kissed? like right now?" "but we're not dating, meguru." "we're not? we should." "i'll think about it." "no think! just do!"

[preston-t-umber]

That's an awful lot of words to spend on the fact that the Democrats are a more ideologically broad coalition than the Republicans. That isn't really something that can change. It is also easier to find yourself breaking promises if you have highly ambitious affirmative policy goals, versus "cut taxes and appoint conservative judges; occasionally take a bit out of the social safety net". The that the Democrats are mistreating you by not being as close to the center as you, but also betraying the Left...that's the problem any ideologically broad political party is going to have. As an side, the Democratic party is also not responsible for the phenomenon of political messianism, does not have any kind of monopoly on the same, and is not somehow unique in disappointing people with revolutionary political goals.

Regarding the issue of bigots: saying "the Democrats talk too much about bigotry" doesn't actually mean bigotry doesn't exist, or won't be important to a political party whose most loyal voter base is black women, and whose other most consistent voter bases are largely members of various minorities. I don't know why you'd see that as some special pointed criticism of you, or really of anyone else. As far as winning goes: you need 50 percent plus 1. You put forth the proposition that Trump's obvious unworthiness means that if Democrats would just stop the speech that shows they hate (somebody), they'd destroy him in a landslide. Do you actually have an affirmative evidence for that theory?

Which specific policies are national Democrats embracing that you think shows they hate white people, or men? I gotta say, sometimes I feel excluded in lots of left-wing spaces as a white dude, but I can't think of any novel innovations from Uncle Sam that make me feel that way - and as you have pointed out in the past, a dude like me was always seen as acceptable to send into the meat grinder of war, as a more acceptable target for carceral and capital punishment; I guess next to those things like, idk, child support laws seem pretty tame.

You mention a bunch of other policies, but in a bunch of them, well, Democrats *have* either done things, or said they would. Can you blame a liberal for looking at the border security rhetoric, then seeing the GOP House choosing not to take any of the compromises on offer and thinking, "huh, they are lying, because if it was really so important they'd be willing to give Joe Biden the win". You again try to immunize yourself by saying that people like me just lie and accuse all our opponents of bigotry, but again, if party A is willing to basically concede to party B's position to get more funding to border security and party B throws a fit, then why should supporters of party A who were skeptical of party B's attitude not start wondering about the sincerity of their opponents?

I'm still just...wondering what the positive vision is here. You feel like Democrats hate white men, even though that's really some online leftists and certain academics who do; you feel like Democrats are overly apocalyptic in their language (the post chain we are commenting on has people implying they think Democrats are totalitarian for depicting a cat eating the snake on a Gadsden flag); you dislike the fact that Democrats point out that the GOP stops them (incidentally...until this reply I don't think I've really brought that subject up? It's just something you started ranting about without any connection I can see other than you being very frustrated by Democrats) - even though the entire reason to do that is so that the voters will know whose fault a thing is, since it is in fact in the voters hands; you hate Hillary Clinton for...being unsuccessful? Doing the super normal politician thing of, yes, playing inside baseball? You compare how Democrats to talk about Project 2025, an update of a plan from a fairly influential think-tank who themselves brag about getting their policies enacted in the Reagan administration...to a bunch of campaign promises from the far-left of the party?

They know they're authoritarian, and they're proud.

[awhitehead17]

100 ways to say I love you - TimKon edition:

Number 50: “I think you’re beautiful” 

Enjoy! :D

Tim runs a finger over his pale skin, feeling the ridges of his newly acquired scar. It’s on his right hip and stretches around towards his back and because of the angle of it Tim has to turn to the side in the mirror to see it properly. Where the wound once was is now a raised white line surrounded by flushed pink skin which Tim knows will fade with time.

He sighs and drops his hand. It’s just another scar added to the countless number already scattered over his body. He’s been in the vigilante game for a long time, it makes sense that he would be covered in scars and have a variety of imperfections because of all the wounds and trauma his body has endured over the years. That fact doesn’t make it any easier to deal with though.

Looking at his reflection in the full-length mirror he has in his bedroom, Tim’s eyes travel to different scars on his person. He eyes the ones on his chest, those on his shoulders, his arms, his abs and even the faint one on his neck.

A good ninety percent of them have been because of vigilantism, whether that’s because he’s been shot, stabbed, sliced, beaten, or even caught in an explosion. The other ten percent he could boil it down to everyday things. Scrapes on his elbows and knees from falling over as a child, the times when glass has broken in his hand, accidents with scissors or even grazes that never healed properly.

Each one has a story Tim muses to himself as he studies them. Good or bad, they’re all a result of something that he’s had to endure. Maybe that’s why Tim should be proud of them, he’s faced something that was meant to cause him harm and he came out the other side still fighting.

He’s not proud though, he hates his body.

Well hate may be a bit too strong of a word, perhaps dislikes is better suited. He dislikes his body. Tim works hard to keep his body in shape, he has to because of the job, so he has well defined muscles even though he’s on the leaner side of things, he has an incredible level of fitness, and his agility is above average. He just hates – dislikes – the look of it. The scars don’t sit well with him.

“Hey Tim-”

Tim startles at the sudden voice. Before he could think about it, he lunges towards his bed to grab the t-shirt he left on it and shoves it on. When he turns around Kon is standing in the doorway shooting him a questioning look.

Neither of them move or say anything for several moments. As he stares at Kon, Tim could feel his heart pounding inside his chest and the way his skin grows hotter, he can’t believe Kon just caught him staring at himself in the mirror for who knows how long.

Clearly seeing Tim’s embarrassment, a grin begins to stretch across his face as he makes his own conclusions to what he walked in on. Kon takes a step towards him, laughing. “Tim, dude, were you just checking yourself out?”

Tim doesn’t know what to do with himself, because yes he was checking himself out, however not for the reasons Kon was clearly thinking of.

Opposite him Kon continues to snicker. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about Tim! We all do it from time to time.”

“I wasn’t checking myself out Kon!” Tim pathetically lies. He bets his face is as red as a tomato by now.

Kon stops a foot away from him and raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Uh huh, then what were you doing? And by the way, your shirt’s on backwards.”

Tim’s eyes widen and he snaps his gaze down and to his horror his shirt is indeed on backwards. Tim curses and moves to correct it.

“Look it’s nothing, forget it.” Tim demands firmly avoiding eye contact. He wraps his arms around himself defensively.

Kon’s laughter finally dies down and he shakes his head. “Tim seriously-”

Tim cuts him off before he could finish that sentence. “Now what do you want Kon?” When the meta blinks at him Tim rolls his eyes feeling annoyed. “You obviously came here for something, now what is it?”

It takes Kon a moment to answer and Tim could tell that his boyfriend is now studying him, finally picking up on the cues that there’s more to the situation than what he originally assumed. “You were taking a while to get ready so I came to get you. Everyone’s waiting in the media room to start the movie.”

Tim sighs. Right he had forgotten about that, it’s movie night with the team. They had finished a mission earlier and each went to freshen up before migrating to the media room, Tim had gotten distracted after getting out the shower when he started to stare at his body.

Huffing, Tim starts making his way to the door. “Okay. Sorry for the hold up, let’s go.” He doesn’t make it to the door as Kon reaches out and grabs his wrist when he passes by him. Tim grits his teeth and tugs his wrist trying to get it out of the Kryptonian’s grasp. “Kon let go.”

“Tim what’s going on?” All playfulness has dropped from his voice leaving nothing but seriousness behind.

“You’re not letting me go. That’s what.” Tim snaps. When Kon’s grip doesn’t loosen Tim stops fighting, he sags in the hold and refuses to look at him. “Kon it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing Tim. You’re clearly worked up about something.”

While Tim doesn’t deny it, he still refuses to look at his boyfriend. Frustratingly Kon isn’t letting this go. He tugs Tim in close and wraps his arms around him in a firm hug. Taken by surprise by the sudden action, it takes Tim a few moments to respond. Loosely wrapping his arms around the meta’s waist Tim hugs him back and rests his head against Kon’s shoulder.

Eventually Kon pulls away, he reaches up and cups Tim’s cheeks with hands, his thumbs gently stroking the skin there. “Talk to me Tim.”

Tim closes his eyes and focuses on Kon’s touch. It’s so stupid. The whole reason why he’s worked up is stupid as Tim knows there’s no reason to be so wound up over the idea of scars on his body. Nevertheless he can’t help but feel insecure about them from time to time, especially compared to Kon who has absolutely flawless skin. His boyfriend doesn’t have on scar on him, no physical reminders of past traumas, just perfectly smooth sun kissed skin.

When Tim doesn’t speak, Kon sighs sadly and moves his hands down Tim’s body. He strokes Tim’s arms down from the shoulders to his hands before moving to his torso, he brushes down his sides to his waist, however before he could reach Tim’s new scar Tim has his hand captured in his own to stop any further exploration.

“Tim?” Kon questions wearily.

Tim grits his teeth knowing he’s just given himself away. Not saying anything, Kon gently pries his hand out of Tim’s grasp and moves his hand to Tim’s side. This time Tim doesn’t stop him, though he certainly tenses up as Kon slides his hand underneath his t-shirt and brushes the skin there. Tim shivers as Kon’s fingers ghost over his sensitive skin where the new scar is.

“It’s just that it’s another one, y’know.” Tim admits quietly. “I hate them all and every time I get a new one it’s another reminder of how imperfect I am or how I screwed up.”

Kon continues to not say anything and his silence is starting to put Tim on edge. What is his boyfriend thinking? Usually Kon isn’t one to hold back his opinion so him being quiet is rather unsettling, particularly when Tim is so worked up about it.

“Kon say something.”

Instead of speaking Kon uses actions. He undresses Tim from his shirt, forcing it up and over his head before he could even comprehend what’s going on, and turns him around so he’s facing the mirror. Kon then presses in close behind him and wraps his arms around him to lock him into place.

Tim huffs at the manhandling and glares at Kon through the mirror. He’s not pleased to be seeing himself half dressed once again when he’s in a negative head space and especially with Kon standing right behind him. As he tries to look away an invisible force holds his head still, making sure he can’t look anywhere else but at their reflection. Damn Kon and his TTK.

Kon rests his chin on Tim’s shoulder once he knows Tim isn’t going to run away. “I know you hate your scars. You see them as imperfections, as ways that your body is flawed and ugly. They’re physical and permanent reminders of traumas you endured in the past.”

Tim grits his teeth and without meaning too his eyes drift over his body to each scar he had been staring at earlier, his gaze lingers on the newest one to the collection.

“Would you like to know what I think about your body and scars?”

At Kon’s rhetorical question, Tim’s gaze meets Kon’s through the mirror. Kon seemed to be staring back at him with an expression mixed of determination and adoration.

“I think you’re beautiful.”

There’s a pause in time as Tim registers his words. It’s like that sentence has caused his brain to malfunction. Out of everything Tim had been expecting Kon to say, those words were not even close to what he had in mind.

He doesn’t know how to take it, he’s half tempted to laugh at the cheesiness of them however on the other hand they make his insides go all warm and fuzzy and he has to fight off a blush from happening.

“What?” Comes out of his mouth in the end. Kon must have been expecting this because he doesn’t even seem mildly surprised by Tim’s lack of response. His lips curve up into a smile and he presses a light kiss to his bare shoulder.

“You heard me. Everything about you is beautiful. The good and the bad, your strengths and your weaknesses, your mind and your body.”

Letting out a long breath, Tim leans back into Kon. “They’re ugly though.”

Kon shrugs and gives Tim a squeeze. “I don’t think they are. Your scars are a part of you and that makes them special even if you don’t see it yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

They stand together in front of the mirror for a little while longer, both lost in their thoughts and in the moment. It takes a shout from down the corridor to burst their bubble and remind them of where they are and what they were originally doing. Kon snorts and presses one last kiss to Tim’s temple before moving away while Tim shakes his head in both amusement and embarrassment as he grabs his t-shirt to put it back on.

The two of them join hands as they leave Tim’s room. While Tim doesn’t feel much better about his body, and he knows it’s going to take time to accept it and a lot of work but he hopes he’ll get there some day, at least he feels reassured that Kon isn’t disgusted by the sight of it.

As if he’s reading Tim’s mind, Kon leans in close and whispers into his ear, “After movie night, I’m going to show you just how much I like your body. By the time I’m done there won’t be a single negative thought about it in your mind…”

Tim draws back scandalized. He slaps his boyfriend’s arm feeling himself flush at the implications of his words. “Conner!”

Kon only laughs and enters the media room with a flushed Tim trailing behind him. Even though they hadn’t done anything, Tim’s face seems to suggest otherwise and everyone waiting certainly has something to say about it, nonetheless Tim doesn’t correct them and accepts their good-natured teasing for the night.

[darkstarsrise]

✧˖*°࿐ "Wait, really?" he asked, a little surprised because he had been joking about the poetry slam and really hadn't expected her to actually have ever been to one, and especially not for her to want to take him to one. Not that he was some brainless jock - that was more the kind of insult that might get thrown at Matt, even if that wasn't true, either, but he wasn't exactly a poetry kind of guy. At least, he didn't think he was, but he also couldn't have said he'd tried it; he'd also just go because Sam asked him to. He always had, until everything had gotten weird with Hannah even before the shitty prank, and if she wanted to, he would again. It was mutual, cause there were things he'd drag her into as soon as he was able, including hanging out more with Wolfie. The two obviously needed to be better acquainted. "Everyone needs some lovin', even a big scary guy like Wolfie."

ㅤThat had been his reasoning and attitude in the moment, and it was what he was still sticking with - more now, when the wolf dog had clearly claimed him as his person, and he wasn't going to betray that. They'd survived actual monsters together, so as far as he was concerned, Wolfie was part of the team now.

ㅤ"If we're talking real percents, you don't want me to put a number on it," he groaned a little, but it was definitely beyond 50%. If he'd been asked before he was horizontal, he'd have probably slapped a solid 75 down, but resting only seemed to make it all worse. Probably the adrenaline wearing off and muscles cooling down, which was why he hadn't wanted to settle until he was seriously done because he wasn't sure he'd have any gas left in the tank to keep going if he did. He'd gotten to the interviews with the rangers and first police and the exhaustion had hit him like a truck. The medicated sleep of surgery and painkillers had done him good, but he still had a ways to go, and they both knew it.

ㅤ"I'm laying next to one, so yeah, I think I've seen some people in Berkeley," he retorted, just to be a pain, but gave an attempt at a shrug that he instantly regretted anyway and her rhetorical about the cold. "Guess you're fucked, then. Gonna get stuck in some awkward conversation with an 8 foot tall dude who smells like swamp ass. Actually, yeah, that sounds like Berkeley."

ㅤHe'd almost had more to say on it, easily able to slide into this fake argument that she absolutely wasn't winning because he wasn't as serious as her and he wasn't totally sober, but the geography point caught him harder and he scoffed only for it to end in a wince. "Sam, Oregon is like, six hours or something from us and if you wanna talk cryptids and Pacific Northwest, that's totally gotta be Washington, which is even further. Bigfoot's not making that kinda time on the highway." He paused, nostrils flaring as he tried to smell anything beyond the basic hospital cleaner smell, then turned again just slightly to see if he could smell her, which was also limited. "Huh. I thought we'd be grosser. I was pretty fucking gross when I came in."

−−−¨༺ There was a good-natured roll of her eyes at Mike's completely valid take on her rapping skills. "So I'm not the next Slim Shady?" Sam asked with mock offense. "Not completely unlike a poetry slam, either. I'll take you to one." Her gaze drifted to the wolf (Dog?) at the end of the bed, and thought tempted to give him a pet with her feet, she decided against it. Sam Giddings may have been a friend to squirrels, but a wolf (Dog?) may have been pushing it just a little bit. "You know, you're probably the only person that I know who can come out of this mess with a friend. It's impressive, really." It was the charisma; There was no denying it. And that charisma apparently extended to canids.

−−− Sam let out a snort of concurrence at Mike finishing the 'poetry slam' and a few firm nods at his follow up. 50% may have been putting it lightly. She was a complete mishmash of feelings- Freezing from hypothermia meanwhile having burns from the explosions she was in. That combo of fire and ice was not something she would wish on anyone, she just felt jumbled. But that was also likely from the explosions and how they rattled her head. "I would say maybe 65%, for me personally. But we passed 50% a while ago." Honestly, 50% of her pain as it was could probably have been from her headache in itself. Other 50% from literally everywhere else.

−−− In response to the vague pinch at her wrist, Sam just looked at Mikey with her face scrunched up. It was an honest mistake of the filter between her brain and mouth just not connecting. For the most part, she knew what to say and when to say it. And for the most part, it made everyone else think that she's a stick-in-the-mud. Which, fine. But being even-keeled clearly came in handy in times like this. And, hopefully, she didn't have to deal with anymore situations with monsters. No more horror movie starring roles. She was done with that.

−−− "You say that now, but have you seen people in Berkeley?" she asked, lips pursed ever so slightly. Plus, it was very plausible that there were more than one Bigfeet. Bigfoots? "What if I have a cold?" This argument was absolutely stupid, but it was a taste of feeling just a little bit like things were normal again. Ignoring the hospital, and hospital gown, and... Everything. "Also, we really don't? Oregon is right on top of us and they're considered the Northwest." She would win this argument that had no winners. Noticing movement from the corner of her eye, Sam turned to look at Mike, noticing his seemingly serious expression. Part of her knew better, though. "Eww, Mike," she hissed, the phrase becoming a core part of her vernacular now. "No. You do have a certain Iodine-like je ne sais quois, though."

[enumakis]

YUJI ITADORI

M E T A M O D E R N I T Y

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: 𝘆/𝗻'𝘀 𝗯𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗲𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗯𝘆 𝗮 𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗼𝘆— 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗮 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘀 𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀.

𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗻!𝗮𝘂, 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿/𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿𝘀

++ 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘂 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗷𝘂𝗷𝘂𝘁𝘀𝘂 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘂𝗸𝘂𝗻𝗮 𝘄𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆.

it was a hot summer day and the h/c haired girl laid in bed with her legs dangling off the edge of the mattress, idly staring up at the ceiling as if she stared long enough, the boredom would somehow miraculously fade away into nothingness. she slightly shifted her head to the right in order to get a clear view of the piece of paper with the words “SUMMER BUCKET LIST” scribbled messily across the top of the page in big bold letters. the only thing keeping it up was a piece of washi tape she found lying around and the girl made a mental note a while back ago to buy a whiteboard in order to replace the system she currently had going on (although that mental note was now long overdue as it had been exactly 2 weeks since summer break started.)

a wave of deja vu washed over y/n as she watched the tape slowly peel itself off her beige walls. she let out a loud groan before sitting up and dragging her feet over to the flimsy piece of paper she called her bucket list. as she grabbed it, she flipped it over to the side she had written on and stared at it in contemplation.

“i should probably go get that whiteboard now, huh...” she thought to herself.

y/n wandered into a small store located around the less populated area of the mall. funnily enough, the girl had a distaste for overly crowded places and hated the stuffy feeling it brought upon her. but unfortunately, she had no other choice but to suck it up as this was the only store she was certain would have what she needed and for a good price as well because no way in hell was she going to drop over $5 on something she would most likely end up shoving into her closet by the end of summer. 

it was a nice and quiet store honestly: there were only 2 other people browsing around— 3 including the white haired cashier but he seemed to be off in his own little world as he was scrolling on his phone, all while munching on what y/n could only assume to be kikufuku.

“i could literally walk out with a pile of merchandise in my hands and he wouldn’t even notice.” y/n thought as she proceeded onto the next aisle.

jackpot. 

on her left sat the small abundance of whiteboards the store had in stock, but the only problem was that each design had caught her eye. y/n took a few steps forward as her hands reached out for the two whiteboards she took a liking to. the one in her left hand was the perfect size to fit her entire list, although the only downside was that the design of it was a bit plain— having only a black border around it. whereas the one in her right hand was a lot smaller but on the flip slide, it had a yellow border with various colors and sizes of flowers.

the girl bit her lip as her eyes darted between the two whiteboards in her hands. she was so deep in thought that she failed to notice the pink haired boy dashing towards her at an alarming speed. it was only then that she snapped out of her daze when she found herself forcefully dragged out of the store going over 25 miles per hour.

she stared at her wrist, then to the owner of the hand grabbing onto it.

“W-WOAH!” she tried to cement her feet onto the ground in order to prevent the male from dragging her any further than they had already gone, but his strength was almost overbearing. 

just as you were about to voice another complaint, you turned your head back a little and gasped when you saw 3 mall cops running right behind you. you two kept running until you guys reached the busiest and most crowded part of the mall.

“great, the cops think i’m this dude’s accomplice and he drags me into the part of the mall i hate the most. couldn’t have he just gone the other way?”

your inner thoughts were interrupted when you were suddenly yanked into the bathroom, giving you time to catch your breath.

“what the fuck dude?!” you whispered loudly. “you don’t just grab someone and then run off without an explanation!”

the boy turned around and once you got a good look of his face, your anger soon shifted into confusion. you were expecting an apologetic expression to be plastered onto his face, but instead of that, he had a cheeky grin dancing across his face.

“y-you!” your words were caught in your throat.

“hi!” his voice wasn’t deepest, nor was it too high. “sorry about that! my name is itadori yuji but you can just call me yuji, i don’t really roll with honorifics.”

you weren’t going to lie, he was actually quite cute. but that wasn’t the point. cute or not, this guy still dragged you into whatever stupid situation he got himself into and there was no way giving you the privilege of calling him by his first name was going to fix this problem. who did he think he was? a celebrity?

“first of all, i don’t care what your name is,” you stepped closer and poked his chest with your index finger. “and second of all, what the hell were you thinking dragging me into whatever mess you got yourself into?”

his smile faltered and it was soon replaced by a nervous expression, accompanied by a nervous scratching of the neck. 

“you see... my friend nobara dared me to shoplift but then she saw you and told me she’d add an extra $20 if i took you along for the ride.”

your jaw hung low. “am i really only worth $20?”

“what? no!” yuji shook his hands in denial.

“that’s besides the point!” you quickly came back to the reality of things. “you should be grateful i don’t have the cops on speed dial right now because i’ll let you off the hook.”

“really-”

you covered his mouth with your hand before he could finish his sentence. “only on one condition though.”

he raised an eyebrow, prompting you to continue.

“you have to treat me to lunch, oh! and you also have to go back to the store from earlier and buy me that whiteboard.” you stated.

“but what if the cops get me?” he asked worriedly.

“well... you can decline my offer and i can go ahead,” you slid your hand into your back pocket before pulling out your phone and flaunting the device in front of the pink haired boy. “and give those nice cops a call, or you can take the safer route of having a 50 percent chance of not getting caught.”

“fine! i’ll go back and buy that whiteboard for you.” he pouted.

“nuh-uh-uh, don’t pout at me, shoplifting is a serious offense dude,” you shifted all your weight onto one foot and crossed your hands. “so? what are you waiting for? times ticking y’know.”

with that final comment, he scurried out of the bathroom as you managed to stifle a laugh. you went back into your back pocket and pulled out a slip of paper, unfolding it as your eyes scanned down the page.

12. find someone to complete the rest of the list with.

“this is going to be a fun summer.” you thought to yourself before shoving the piece of paper back into your pocket.

A/N: this was just a little one shot idea i had stuck in my head after i made a playlist dedicated to this cute boy haha. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but it turned out to be a lot shorter then i expected so i came to the conclusion to make this a little drabble heh

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Three Days of The Hunter Job

leverage 2.05

hunt for the truth = fox news

you can’t change my mind, sorry

- - - - -

Nate: Here's what we can do. We can probably get you enough money to save the house and pay for medical bills--

Sarah: We aren't interested in money, Mr. Ford. This woman took my father's self-esteem. She took his reputation. She took his good name. That's what he needs back.

someone needs to make a compilation of their clients being noble as hell

- - - - -

Sophie: I wanna take the lead on this one. I wanna do what you do.

Nate: Yeah, listen, I know breakups can be very difficult, Sophie.

Sophie: Whoa. No, that's not what this is about.

Nate: I know that you have this need to be in control right now, you know.

Sophie: I don't have any such need.

Nate: But you can't project that onto the con.

Sophie: Excuse me? This, coming from the man who spent an entire year drunk, working out his obsessive vengeance on every dimwit in a suit who happened to cross our line of vision.

Nate: Hey, you put some thought into that one, didn't you?

Sophie: You know, I'm not tryin' to control the universe just because some guy dumped me. I-I appreciate the concern. I just, I need a new challenge.

Nate: Okay. (hands Sophie the files) This is your job.

Sophie: Thanks. Now, let's go get this bitch. (walks away)

Nate: Oh, boy

fucking get rekt nate you’re the literal last one to talk

- - - - -

huh nate is wearing flannel in this one

- - - - -

Sophie: Exactly. And then to protect themselves, they issue an apology to Mr. Pennington and then they throw Monica Hunter into the jaws of the very media machine that she bent to her own malicious will.

Parker: Wow. I gotta say, Sophie's briefings are much more dramatic.

Eliot: And poetic.

parker and eliot are cute

- - - - -

Sophie: But we can sell a story that commands respect. A story that she's gonna chase to get the respect she craves. Hm? Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news.

(everyone continues sitting, looking uncomfortable)

Nate: That's when you wanna...

Sophie: I wanna do that bit again. Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news. (leaves room)

Nate: She's walking into the closet

SOPHIE ITS OKAY YOU DONT NEED TO GO IN THE CLOSET

- - - - -

Parker: I got the pass. Easy.

Sophie: Parker, we went over this.

[Exterior Studio]

Sophie: You're not supposed to take it. Get caught with it.

Parker: I don't know how to get caught.

Sophie: Yeah, I know it's difficult to steal badly. Just, just try

- - - - -

Monica (grabs Parker): Hey. Hey. I will have you arrested for trespassing if you do not tell me what you are doing here.

Parker: Technically, you can't have me arrested for trespassing because you don't own the station.

Sophie: Parker, tell her the story

parker: TRY ME BITCH

- - - - -

hardison doing crazy tinfoil hat guy is iconic

+ parker and hardison’s high five and “that’s what I’m talkin about!” ADORABLE

- - - - -

Parker: Eliot, these conspiracies aren't real, right?

Eliot: What do you mean?

Parker: Like that one over there that says all the major wars of the past 50 years were ordered by members of The Council.

Eliot: Parker, I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you. (walks away)

Parker: You're not a member of The Council, are you? Eliot? Is he?

Nate: Oh, I don't know. (walks away)

Parker: Huh? Uh, Nate, is he?

parker looked so vulnerable asking it and eliot’s just like,,, imma fuck with her LMFAO

also this is another chaotic ot3 scene that I’d die for

- - - - -

eliot taking the general’s id with his pencil and handing it off to hardison? SMOOTH AS FUCK

- - - - -

Parker: But what if he won't talk to us?

Monica: Then we celebrate.

Parker: Celebrate?

Monica: Denial means guilt. Refusal means more guilt. Punch out my cameraman, and I'll kiss you on the mouth.

Camera Man: Mm-hm.

parker: 👀👀👀

- - - - -

parker gets hit with a car ,,, how many times in this series does she get hit with a car ??

- - - - -

monica’s face when she sees parker get hit by a car is LITERALLY the exact same as the surprised pikachu face

+

bruh imagine you see this happening ,,, like a girl get hit by a car, a suit running out, grabbing stuff of her body, then running away ???

her playing dead on the ground for a hot minute before “waking up”, dusting herself off and walking away ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Move. Don't stop. Come on.

Monica: They ran her over.

Hardison: I know, but we gotta go. Security cameras, the ATM cameras, the traffic cameras. We're always being watched. Just put your head down. Act natural.

Monica: Why are you dressed like a mailman?

Hardison: Invisible man, mailman, nobody notices the mailman. He blends right in. Just like a circus clown.

- - - - -

Parker: We totally went to the moon.

Eliot: Movie sets. I've seen 'em. They're outside of Albuquerque.

Parker: Why would there still be sets there?

Eliot: Because they're gonna reuse 'em for the Mars mission. Repaint it all red.

her bumping shoulders with eliot and leaning on him? the casual intimacy that nourishes my S O U L

- - - - -

Sophie: She has to have corroboration from her own sources. She has to craft the narrative. Monica Hunter has to be the author of her own personal nightmare.

Nate: Do I sound that creepy when I...?

Eliot: Hell yes.

Parker: Mm-hm.

Nate: Really?

Eliot: You do

- - - - -

Sophie: The only question is whether Hardison guessed her sources right.

Hardison: G-guess? Guess?

Sophie: Well, you know.

Hardison: Woman, my name Alec Hardison. I do not guess, OK? Look, journalists, they're lazy. They always go back to the same sources. I compared Monica Hunter's stories for the last ten years and created a heuristic model based on her sources. I-I filtered by story type, priority and evidentiary chain. Look, (pulls up info on laptop) sex scandal: 87 percent chance she goes to these sources. Serial killer scare: 90 percent she contacts these sources for confirmation. Government secrets and health scare intersects: Ninety-five percent chance she goes to these sources. Look, look. Right there. She's emailing them right now. Look.

- - - - -

Hardison: Get me out of here.

Sophie: Yeah, I'm working on it.

Parker (comes out of back room pulling on jacket): I'm on it.

Sophie: No, no, no, no, no, you cannot go. You're dead. Monica Hunter sees you and the whole con is blown.

Parker: Right

PARKER WAS R E A D Y TO GO IN AFTER HIM WE LOVE A PROTECTIVE OT3

- - - - -

Hardison: Damn the con. I'm a black man caught on an Army base with a video camera. I am going to jail forever.

the realest part of the show

- - - - -

Hardison: Eliot, get me everything you can on a Lieutenant Abbot.

[Apartment]

Hardison: Just-just do what I taught you.

Eliot (typing on laptop): Now, the "http" thing comes before—

[Interrogation Room 2]

Eliot: --the "www-dot," right?

Hardison: Eliot!

[Apartment]

Eliot: Which one's the forward slash?

Sophie: Oh, come on.

[Interrogation Room 2]

Hardison: It ain't the time, Eliot. It ain't the time.

[Apartment]

Eliot: It's not fun when you're hanging out there in the wind and there's a dude behind a laptop cracking jokes, is there?

Parker: (holding a gas mask over her face before looking over it) I like it when we switch jobs. It's exciting

someone PLEASE make an eliot-being-bad-at-technology compilation I’m begging

also it’s officially canon that hardison tries teaching eliot about technology

- - - - -

Eliot: No, that's everything on this guy.

Lieutenant: Sir, I need to know why you're on this base.

Hardison: Yes. Why am I on this base?

Lieutenant: I'm asking you.

Hardison: No, I'm asking you. Why am I on this base? Why am I in this room?

Lieutenant: So I can ask you questions.

Hardison: Or maybe it's so I can ask you questions, Lieutenant Kyle Abbot, Social Security 823-24-6270?

Lieutenant: I don't know what you're up to.

Hardison: Maybe you’re not cleared to know. Two disciplinary actions? That one in Germany? Maybe you're just too much of a security risk.

(lieutenant goes to leave and Hardison slams his fist on the table)

Hardison: Did I say you could leave?

(lieutenant swallows nervously)

T H I S

S C E N E

T H O

- - - - -

[Army Base Gate]

Nate: Not gonna work.

Eliot: It's all in the salute, man.

[Apartment]

Sophie: Just work the stars and bars. Nobody wants to--

[Army Base Gate]

(a soldier moves to the side of the car and leans in, saluting Nate)

Sophie: --look a general in the eye.

Nate: Uh, good form soldier. As you were.

Soldier: Clear.

(the gate goes up and Nate pulls into the base, parking near a building. He gets out of the car and walks toward the door)

- - - - -

Nate: We hunt for the truth through many dark places. (approaches Monica menacingly) I am a patriot, Ms. Hunter. I'm sorry. (to Eliot) Earl.

(Monica takes a can of pepper spray from her purse and sprays it in Nate’s face, driving him back. She runs out the door as he groans in pain. Eliot goes to pat his back)

Eliot: Good thing Parker switched that with water.

Nate: Didn't! Didn't switch. (they both start coughing)

LMFAO

- - - - -

Monica: My friends, this is the enemy. Our water has been poisoned.

(an aide spits out a mouthful of water)

JFNSKDKEJWJNFJ

- - - - -

(Eliot is cutting vegetables while Nate opens a bottle of wine and Hardison swirls orange soda in a wine glass)

hardison is literally swirling his neon orange soda in a wine glass as eliot cooks actual food for the fam I CANNOT

- - - - -

Parker (holds up photo): Loch Ness Monster.

Hardison: Loch Ness submarine.

Parker: No!

Eliot: Scottish waters are cold and deep. It's a perfect place to test.

Parker (holds up photo): Area 51.

Eliot: True.

Hardison: False.

Eliot: That's true.

Hardison: False. She said Area 51, 51.

Eliot: I'm sorry. False. Area 52.

Hardison: Been there.

Eliot: Yep

I’m crying the ot3 was top tier chaotic this entire episode and parker was having A Time™ with all these conspiracies

someone make a compilation of these scenes overlayed with the wii music. pls.

[palettes-and-prompts]

100 First Meetings (Dialogue Prompts)

1) "Were you the one in the bathroom a second ago trying different lines in the mirror to work up the courage to ask that barista out?" 2) "Wow, you're cute." 3) "You come here often?" "This is a morgue." 4) "You! What the hell are you doing in here? We're closed!" 5) "Ahhhh! I hate my fucking life!!!" "Mood." 6) "You have magic?!" 7) "You don't look like you'll last a day here." 8) "You should leave before your date gets back from the bathroom, I saw them in here the other day popping the question to two different people." 9) "They never told me they had a younger brother/sister." 10) "Who's the twink?" 11) "I gotta ask, are you mad about something or is your face just /like that?/" 12) "You're my new roommate?" 13) "You're not married are you?" 14) "Hey, you're not dead are you? Cause I'm on probation and I can't afford to be involved in a fucking murder or something." 15) "So you're the one causing all this trouble." 16) "I need you to pretend we're dating so this dude will leave me alone." 17) "Honey, there you are I've been looking all over for you! Pretend you're with me so this person will go away." 18) "So you're the loud moaner from upstairs, huh, never knew you'd be so cute." 19) "You're not the pizza guy." 20) "You know, when I said I wish the love of my life would just fall out of the sky this isn't exactly what I had in mind." 21) "Any particular reason you're putting peanut butter in my kid's hair?" 22) "You made me dinner?" 23) "You've got the wrong room, but feel free to stay naked." 24) "You must be the motherfucker who broke my windshield!" 25) "Hi, you are very naked." 26) "You their new toy?" 27) "How'd you like to make fifty bucks?" 28) "I know I'm going to regret asking but who are you?" 29) "You got any friends?" "No." "Well you do now, come sit with us!" 30) "Cute face, I'd love to sit on it sometime." 31) "Where'd you find this dork?" 32) "Uh, there any particular reason you're screaming at two thirty-six in the morning? 33) "Out of curiosity, do you think you could lift a dead body?" 34) "If you don't let go of this bag of chips I swear to god I'll bring you to your knees in the middle of this fucking WinnDixie." 35) "WHO THE FUCK ATE THE LAST OF THE FUCKIN DORITOS, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL-oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know we had a guest. If I'd known we had a guest I would've cleaned." 36) "Are you the vegan cannibal? Because I have so many questions." 37) "Ooh, hello Mommy/Daddy. Fuck, did I just say that out loud?" 38) "Am I dead? Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?" "Actually you're in a taco bell, you tried to do a kick flip on your skateboard in the parking lot and hit your head on the side of the dumpster." 39) "You brought a fucking guest to our SECRET BASE?! I'll deal with you later. Hi, hello, it's very nice to meet you please make yourself at home!" 40) "So, you gay or what?" 41) "No, sorry, we don't want any girl scout cookies." 42) "Holy shit, you just saved my fucking life!" 43) "Hey, honey, it's just me. You were in a really bad accident so don't try moving around too much, okay? How are you feeling?" "You called me honey. Do I know you?" 44) "Jesus, your face is about as red as your hair." 45) "Run along little ballerina, you wouldn't want to be caught hanging around the bad kids, would you?" 46) "No, I'm not the stripper, but I can be if you'd like." 47) "You ready to cut open some bodies?" 48) "Get in if you want to live." 49) "What are you looking at, short stack? Mind your own business." 50) "Your headphones aren't plugged in properly so I can hear everything you're listening to. I was going to tell you earlier but then you started watching the weirdest porn I've ever seen and I didn't want to embarrass you, but I'm about to leave so I figured I'd tell you before someone else sits around you." 51) "I don't know what they've told you but we don't need another member, go home." 52) "Hey, stop right there, you can't steal that! That's illegal!" 53) "Who's the nerd?" 54) "You look like the kind of person who wears days of the week underwear." 55) "So, how many pitchers of margaritas are you allowed to sell me?" 56) "My head fucking kills, I shouldn't have drank last night. Hey, wait, why do you and I have matching rings on our fingers?!" 57) "Congratulations, idiot! You just ruined a six month plan and now we have to start all over!" 58) "That is the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, where can I get one just like it?" 59) "I know you make straight A's, but I'm still not sure if you're really smart or dumb but really lucky. Because I've seen someone ask you what the square root of pi is and you answer with 'I don't know, I guess it depends on the flavor.'" 60) "Who the fuck let you in?" 61) "Hey, I'll give you twenty bucks if you take a photo with me to make my ex jealous." 62) "So, you eat ass or what?" 63) "You a cop?" "No." "Too bad, you would have looked good in a uniform." 64) "With a face like that I'll be whoever you want me to be." 65) "Hey, you have eyes, do you think this outfit makes me look fat? You can be honest, I can handle it." 66) "I'm just looking for a nice person to settle down with who'll fuck me hard and tell me they love me when they cum on my face, like, I feel like that's not too fucking much to ask for, you know? Anyway, I'll have a diet coke and the chicken salad, please." 67) "I swear to god, this is not what it looks like." 68) "First of all, don't you fucking come in here and try and start a fight with my best friend while you're looking straight goofy as hell in those fucking Walmart shorts and those thrift store crocs." 69) "HEY! YOU ACROSS THE STREET! YOUR DOG IS SO FUCKING CUTE AND I WOULD FUCKING DIE FOR THEM!" 70) "Anyone who says they don't like musicals is either lying to themselves, has never watched one, or is a heartless android sent by the government to blend into society and collect information about us." 71) "Asking someone out is easy, watch this. Hi, I think you're cute and if you're not seeing anyone do you want to go out sometime?" 72) "Hey, I saw you crying earlier when you stepped on a bug. Do you need me to, like, call someone for you?" 73) "I can't tell if you're really high and just hungry or if you're buying 28 family bags of shredded cheese at three am because you just love cheese. Either way you should probably also buy some laxatives or lactaid while you're already here." 74) "When I told you to make a power point about something you're passionate about for our first class meeting I didn't mean make a power point on 'How to Give Great Head' and I absolutely didn't tell you to include pictures." 75) "Are you wearing that tacky ass outfit because you genuinely like it or because you're a Leo and crave the attention?" 76) "Did you really just buy the last chocolate chocolate chip muffin? You are now dead to me." 77) "The fuck are you looking at loser?" 78) "Dude, books are just like subtitles without the movie." 79) "Hey, in your tinder bio is says your friends call you Badger Slammin' Sam and I literally only swiped right just to find out why." 80) "Are you hitting on me? Am I being punked? Are you a hooker? Did my dumbass friend put you up to this?" 81) "Hey, I need you to settle something for me and my friend. Which is the right way to pronounce carrot?" 82) "Do you believe in love at first sight, what about disgust at first glance?" 83) "Look, I'm not saying that MCR's last album changed my life, but I'm absolutely saying that." 84) "Can you move out of my way, I have to clean puke off the floor before I'm allowed to use my lunch break to cry in my car." 85) "Hi, I believe this very drunk person is your roommate, they told me this is the address. I caught them in my backyard playing with my dog again." 86) "I know you're probably not allowed to do this, but I kind of need to borrow an iguana." 87) "Hey, I saw you drop your sandwich in the parking lot earlier and start crying and I felt bad for not saying anything earlier, but I went to the sandwich shop and luckily the dude remembered your oddly specific order so I got you another one. I hope you get to feeling better." 88) "No, we don't sell 'that crazy kush' here, you can try Target." 89) "I was just calling because you sent me a picture text three weeks ago by accident with the caption 'When they let you deliver the digiorno after you clap them cheeks.' and I was just wondering if you could explain what that means because it's been keeping me up at night ever since you sent it." 90) "Hey, I just overheard you talking with your friends about how you put mustard, ketchup, and ranch on your macaroni and cheese and I just wanted to come over here and personally ask you which circle of hell you crawled up from." 91) "What the fuck is a diet water?" 92) "You guys here for the orgy?" 93) "Was that your scream? Why did it sound like a banshee?" 94) "I saw you pour two five hour energy shots into a cup of coffee earlier and then proceed to mix it with monster and red bull and like, dude I know this isn't really my place or whatever but I think you should probably go to the hospital. Like, I think you're gonna die." 95) "Your profile said you're a vegan but my profile says 'Only contact if you eat ass' and you contacted me, so what's the truth here?" 96) "Call me adorable one more time and I'll knock your teeth down your fucking throat." 97) "Move, I have to go fail my Stats test before I can go home and cry into a bag of hot cheetos while I rewatch The Office." 98) "I'm sorry, did you just order a fifty piece mcnugget for here, for yourself?" 99) "So, how do you feel about lizards?" 100) "Question, are you a top or a bottom, because you're giving off major power bottom energy but I'm not one hundred percent sure."

[ladyalice101]

28 and 38 of the 50 meet cute

this is 28, and I put 38 in a seperate post. 

thanks for the prompt :) 

28. They ask you to pretend to be their date at a bar to prevent an ex from talking to them.

Jon isn’t usually one to be found drinking alone at a bar.

He’s not one to drink at bar, period, because he much prefers the quiet, peacefulness of drinking at home. An evening will usually find him on his back porch, nursing a beer, or maybe a whisky if he’s had a terrible day, watching the sun set.

Bars, especially ones like this, are not exactly his scene.

It was Sam who’d begged him to come out, saying he and Gilly had had a fight that morning and that he needed one or two drinks to loosen up, shake out all his frustration so that he didn’t cry while talking it with Gilly and, well - …

Jon is a good friend. He’d said yeah, sure, we can have a couple drinks together.

They’d not even made it through their first pint before Gilly had called, and Sam had disappeared home, and so Jon has been left at the bar with half a pint of beer which he isn’t going to abandon because it’s paid for.

He just passing the time by tearing up his sodden coaster, occasionally mindlessly scrolling down tumblr – both of which are things that equally set his mind into a complete haze – when the most gorgeous redhead Jon has ever seen slides into the chair next to him.

“Uhh …”

The redhead’s piercing blue eyes are set intently on his, and Jon’s mind is completely blank.

This is what happens when you stare dejectedly at the table, Jon thinks, you miss the entrance of the most beautiful woman in the world.

“So, look, this is pretty awkward,” the newcomer starts, and Jon blinks, because he’s surprised she’s actually talking to him and that this wasn’t, like, an accident or something. “This guy that just walked in, he’s my ex, and I really just … I can’t deal with it tonight. Could I sit here for a few minutes so it doesn’t look like I just bailed when I caught sight of him? I don’t want him to think that. Even though it’s true.”

Jon blinks again.

“Uh. Yes?”

She perks up, smiling widely at him. “Great. Can I get you another beer?”

Jon looks over to the still half-full one he’s made very little headway with.

“It looks warm,” she explains.

Yeah. Yeah, it is warm. Probably why he hasn’t touched it much.

“Sure,” he agrees.

She waves over the bartender, and soon enough two beers are set in front of them.

Now, Jon likes to think that he doesn’t judge a book by a cover. He likes to ask for genders if there’s even a little doubt, he never presumes a woman’s sexuality, and he never orders for anybody, for any reason.

But she, with her perfectly curled hair, her bright red lips and matching heeled shoes, and that pretty little black dress – she doesn’t exactly look like a beer drinker.

Jon is intrigued.

Before he can ask, a man sidles up to them and clears his throat.

Jon swivels slowly around on his chair to stare at the newcomer. He’s got dark sandy hair, a gross smirk on his lips, and looks as if the shirt he’s wearing costs a few hundred bucks. Jon rolls his eyes. This is a dive bar.

“Sansa,” the guy greets. Ah. The ex.

“Harry,” she says, teeth gritted.

Sansa. A pretty name.

“You must be the new bloke in Sansa’s life, huh?” Harry says, turning his foul smirk on Jon.

“I sure am,” Jon says, before Sansa says anything. “Jon. And you must be the arsehole who didn’t know his way around a woman’s body, huh?”

Is that inappropriate? It feels inappropriate.

It also feels 100 percent correct, because one look at this kid and Jon can tell he’s never eaten pussy in his life. What a fucking joke.

Beside him, Sansa coughs, and when he turns to her he can see she’s smothering a smile.

“Yeah alright, I can take a hint,” Harry says, holding his hands up in surrender. “You two enjoy your night, and, uh –“ here Harry leans in close to Jon to whisper in his ear, “- she never wears panties with that dress. She makes it easy to find your way around.”

Jon has his hand around Harry’s throat and has shoved him away from them before the little prick can even finish smirking in satisfaction. Jon would’ve gotten a few good punches in, too, if the bartender hadn’t jumped over and grabbed his arms.

Jon releases the fist he has bunched in Harry’s shirt slowly, trying to dispel the anger that had so quickly filled him. With trembling hands, Jon reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out his pack of cigarettes.

“You’ve gotta leave, dude,” the bartender says, voice stern, but Jon isn’t going to make any more trouble.

Jon lights up a cigarette, and takes a deep breath to calm himself. On an expel filled with smoke, Jon says to Harry with a dangerous smile on his face, “You come near her again, and I’ll rip your fucking throat out.”

He has no idea if Sansa follows him out, or stays with Harry, or goes back to wherever she came from, but Jon’s hand is still trembling when he pushes the door to the bar open and lets the cool air blow over him.

Jon braces his shoulders against the wall and lets his head fall back as he takes another drag, wondering why he let a stranger have such an affect on him.

The door opens again, and Jon can’t help but glance over.

It’s Sansa, a red leather jacket now covering that tight dress of hers, and when she catches sight of him she slowly comes to his side.

“No one’s ever stood up for me like that before.”

Jon winces. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m not usually like that.”

Sansa tilts her head, a curious look in her eyes. She comes to stand beside him, and just as Jon puts his cigarette back between his lips, Sansa pinches it from him and throws it to the ground.

He watches in shock as she stamps it out with the heel of shoe.

“You did look the gentle type,” she says quietly, completely ignoring what she’d just done, and leaning on the wall beside him. “What did he say to you?”

Jon clenches his jaw and looks away from her.

“You don’t want to know,” he mutters.

“Well, stranger, I’m not sure you know me well enough to make a judgement like that.”

Jon glances at her, feeling more than a little off balance by this woman. “Fair point,” he says slowly, reluctantly, because yes she’s right, but he doesn’t want the words Harry said in his mouth.

“Well?”

Jon clucks his tongue against the roof of his mouth and wishes he had his cigarette.

“He said that …” Jon clears his throat, looking to the sky. Why did Sam have to leave? Jon laments. How does he end up in these situations?

“He said that you don’t wear panties with that dress. Makes it easy for him to find his way around. Or something.”

To his surprise, Sansa scoffs a laugh. “What a liar. Boy wouldn’t know where to find a clit if a girl strutted around in a black dress without panties.”

Jon gives his own laugh of surprise, both thoroughly taken aback and about as turned on as he can be without embarrassing himself. He isn’t sure what to say that, so he turns away from her, shoving his hands in his pockets so he doesn’t pull out his lighter again.

“So?” Sansa says finally, flicking her gorgeous hair over her shoulder. “What to find out whether I wear panties under it?”

Jon groans, head dropping back against the wall.

Thank fuck Sam left him here tonight.

“Gods yes.”

[minyoongisjiminie]

“because it doesn't matter what i'm thinking of.. in the end: I think only of you!”(jjk)

ship: jungkook x reader

genre: fluff

disclaimer: mentioning alcohol: jungkook being drunk

synopsis: you’re bestfriend jungkook is an idiot, that’s a well known fact. but something that was quite suprising to you is that he has a huge crush on you. while you were hoping that he would straight up go to bed after drunk dialing you, he actually had other things in mind…

inspiraton: jk’s drunk vlive (i mean why the fuck did he thought that was a good idea lol) 

song inspiration:  Am Ende by Kraftklub

a/n: soooo, this is just something I thought of a while back, this is completely inspired by jk’s drunk vlive a while back haha, he’s such a dork when he’s sober but just a crackhead while being drunk lol. also the title for the fic is by a german band called “Kraftklub” and the lyrics to the song, actually inspired me a lot too :) check it out if you like to ;) also sorry that it took me so long :( school is already kicking my ass

words: 2,5k

-

“I just need to-” Jungkook hicupped and let Jimin hit him on the chest before continuing his sentence. “confess.”

The boys were staring at him in disbelief. After more than 12 years of friendship, he just suddenly decided to confess his crush to his best friend? While being completely intoxicated? It did not sound like a brilliant idea to begin with. 

“Nah dude. Let’s head home, huh?” Hoseok replied softly, putting his own shot glass, that was filled with soju just a minute ago, on the counter. 

They all stared at the tipsy friend who literally couldn’t even stand on his own feet right now without any help. He slumbed into the chair since Jimin couldn’t get a grip of him anymore. The smile on his face widened. 

“No, you don’t understand.. ahhh” He said while closing his eyes that made them look like little reversed half moons. “If I don’t do that now, I’m going to look like a weakling.” 

Yoongi who started to lose his patience, gave himself a little face palm before sitting next to his younger friend. The black haired boy put his small hand onto Kook’s knee and snapped his fingers in front of his friends’ face. “Dude, you’re completely drunk and therefore full of yourself! You will regret it later on, if you just confess, without properly planning it! Listen to your hyung, hm? You always listen to me, right?” 

For a moment it was silent. No one dared to break the silence before Jungkook would do. 

He on the other hand slipped into the coach even more, and was too deep into his thoughts. His hyungs were just looking at him, waiting for any kind of good response. After a while he nodded his head with approval, and let Jimin and Hoseok put him onto his feet again. 

“Let’s head home. I’ll call a taxi.” Namjoon uttered under a grin. The other 4 boys already went outside, trusting Hoseok and Jimin that they were able to control the situation. 

“Hyung..” Jungkook suddenly whispered. “Everything alright, Jungkook-ah?” Jimin asked worriedly. He looked horrible, and the smile that was formed on his lips just a few moments ago, was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps, now finally the nausea from the alcohol kicked in. 

“I think I need to go to the toilet, hyung..” Hoseok lovingly went through his younger brother’s hair before making him walk towards the toilet. Suddenly Jungkook broke away from them, and tried to stand still without any help. “I can do that on my own! Promise!” He murmured, and nodded into the area where his brothers stood before entering the men’s room. 

*

While his hyungs were waiting for him to finish, whatever he needed to do in the toilet, Jungkook had a different idea on his mind. 

He quickly grabbed his phone from his pocket and searched for his best friend’s name. Y/N. 

After just a few seconds he found her. For some reason that made him sober up a bit. Maybe the amount of alcohol he drank was not enough to actually call her up and confess. Because now he could clearly hear his heart beating faster, and his mind did not want this. Not at all. But his stupid heart couldn’t listen. 

Of course…

Even though the battle between his alcohol driven mind and his heart that was aching for relief, continued, he still pressed the call button. 

Probably not his best idea.

After several ringing tones, finally Y/N picked up. Pissed as ever. “It’s fucking 3 am in the morning, Kook! What the fuck do you want?” Her aggravated tone made a shiver go down his spine. Luckily he quickly hold onto the sink so he wouldn’t trip over.

“It’s really serious. Y/N? Y/N.. It’s really serious dude..” He repeatedly said rubbing his eye with one hand and staring at his reflection.

“Are.. ARE YOU DRUNK?”

“Maybe.. Maybe not, it’s your chance to find out.. keke ~”

And there was the stupid crooked drunken smile, forming on his lips again.

“Kookie.. Let’s go to sleep huh?” Y/N’s voice sounded calmer and her lips escaped a yawn. “It’s really late.. And I have uni tomorrow..”

“It’s going to be quick though..”

Jungkook pouted into the mic, making Y/N sigh in annoyance. Of course.. Now he tried to get to her on this tour.

“Then spill them beans!”

“I like you.”

And there it was. The sudden silence. No sound came out of the speaker.

“Like a lot. And I’m not saying that because I’m wasted.. Like I really like you. I want you to be my girlfriend.”

There was still no sound coming from Y/N. Nothing. Just silence.

“Do you have nothing to tell me?” Jungkook once tried again. 

He heard a slight cough on the other side of the line, and he felt how his heart dropped. 

Fuck, this was not the response he expected. Not at all. 

Just a few hours ago he was so euphoric, drinking shots after shots, drinks after drinks, not realising that he would be in the state to just decide out of this short feeling of luck to, confess to the person he deeply liked. 

“Listen to your hyung, hm? You always listen to me, right?”  

Maybe he should’ve. Maybe he should’ve just listened to his hyung. Just because he chose to be a drunk idiot, he completely ruined any chance that he had in the future with his crush. 

“You know what.. Fuck this.. I’m drunk. I shouldn’t have called..” 

“Kook..” 

“I’m fine.. Really!” 

“Kookie-” 

Before she could even give a proper response, Jungkook quickly hung up. 

*

There were exactly two choices Jungkook had. The first one, would be very simple: Ignore it. Act like nothing really happened. Say you were drunk and that the alcohol talked out of you. Or.. he could choose to follow the second choice: Stand with it. Deal with it. He exposed his true feelings to her. If she was really his best friend, then Y/N would’ve known, that he was not a person that would talk fuss while being drunk. Kook would actually be someone that would do the literal opposite. 

Well, he was still drunk. Of course he chose to follow the second one.

“Jeon Jungkook! I will fucking rip of your balls dude!” He heard Seokjin’s voice screaming outside of the men’s room. 

Shit. She told them. 

He quickly grabbed his phone from the counter. But didn’t leave before looking at his reflection and giving it a wink. He would do everything to prove Y/N that he wasn’t speaking rubbish because of the alcohol, but alcohol giving him a lot more confidence to finally do it. 

*

“Okay, okay.. Before you punch me in the face…!” 

Jungkook babbled, while Seokjin was ready to fullfill his action. Thank god his hyungs were there to hold him back. 

“You need to trust me, alright? Just trust me!” 

Jungkook raised his index finger and let it float around his older brother’s faces. 

They were still surprised that he could stand on his own feet without tripping over, and didn’t understood what to do with him. In the end of the day he was an adult and should do what he thinks is the right choice. Even though he was drunk, but what should they do? He always would try his best to do what his heart wants him to do. There was no way they could stop him.

“Okay. We trust you. Jungkook-ah, we do. We really do.” 

Namjoon put his hands on the brunette’s shoulder and gave him the money for the taxi. “If you think that’s the right thing to do. Go right ahead.” 

The other boys were not really on the same page. They were quite confused why Joon let him do that. But to be frankly, they trusted him. So what should even go wrong, right? She might accept his confession or she won’t. If she does accept, they’ll be very happy for him. If not, well… they can comfort him. 

He gave them a bow and left the bar. 

The freezing air was hitting right into his face, and there were already a ton of taxis waiting to pick up wasted young adults and to bring them back home, safely, so they can rest and start off their day with full enery again. 

Well, Jungkook had other things in mind. 

He knocked on the taxi driver’s glass window. 

“What you want?” 

An old grumpy looking man put down the window and looked at him with a questioning expression on his face. “Can you drive me there?” Jungkook asked while fishing out his iphone. He saved the adress of Y/N at his contacts. Since he was sobered up enough after the little phone call, he could easily find it. 

The eyes of the old taxi driver formed into slits. Trying to read from the bright phone screen. “Yeah. Jump in.” 

*

After the short taxi drive, Jungkook quickly pressed the money into the drivers’ hand and waited outside of Y/N’s apartement for the right moment. 

He didn’t really know if she was still awake, but due to the bright window, he has a 50 percent of a chance, that she was. 

His index finger was coming dangerously near the bell, and midway of him trying to press it, he stopped. Because he didn’t even needed to. 

The front door opened, and there she was. Y/N. Beautiful as ever in her cute pj’s. The only thing that bothered him was her grumpy face. 

“Ahhh… Y/N-ah!” 

He fell right into her arms, and could swore to himself that he could hear a light snicker coming from her. “Kook.. What do you think you’re doing?” She said, while still trying to hold onto her friend. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the energy that Jungkook was possessing the entire night, was just gone. Disappeared into thin air. 

“How did you know that I would come, huh?” He said while trying to get back onto his own feet. “Look! Our love is that huge” He put up his two hands in front of her face and let a huge space in between both of them to visualize his words. “That we feel one another, when the other one is not around.. Isn’t that really cool?” 

Y/N just smiled. There was no proper reason why she should be mad. He was the cutest dork she ever met, and his cuteness just increased with his alcohol level in his blood. “Maybe. But now! Come with me, let’s go into my apartement.” She wouldn’t ruin the moment to tell him that actually his hyungs contacted her, warning her beforehand that he might come around. And if she was really honest, she did not mind at all. They were friends for decades now, and she never really denied the potential love interest she had for him. There were times where her girlfriends would be confused as to why they weren’t just dating. Since they did couple like things all the time, just without the kisses, hugs and.. you know what else ;)

Now, he was standing there in front of her door, drunk, and confessing his love to her. Of course she couldn’t resist to ask his hyungs if those feelings were actually real, or if that’s just the soju out of him talking. And the members, while heavily sighing, confessed his feelings for him: 

“Yahh, Y/N-ah! I know that you’re dumb but that dumb?” 

“What? Really?! He likes me?” 

“Of course he does, you idiot. I’m pretty sure he’ll kick himself in the nuts tomorrow if he finds out that he confessed to you like this lol.” 

Jin’s words were still echoing inside of her ear. “Ofc he does..” She whispered the words of her older friend to herself, while critically looking at her best friend, who was huddling around on her sofa. 

I mean if she wants answers, she might probably will get them now or never. So why not just ask the pretty honest and adorable drunk JK himself, and not missing out on the opportunity? 

“Kookie?” 

“Hmm?” 

He was pressing his face onto her pillow, avoiding any eye contact with her. 

“Do you like me?” 

With a sudden “oh” he rose up from the pillow and looked at her. Straight into her face. Like an obedient puppy that messed up. 

“Yesssss!” He said with the most jolly looking face, while making a scrunched nose. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling a bit too. 

“Liking me as a friend, or as…” 

“As my girl.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes. That didn’t really mean anything. They were calling each other like that their entire friendship. He’s her boy and she was his girl. That was just their kind of thing. But now she needed proper answers.

“I know. But like do you want to kiss me? And like want me to be your girlfriend?” 

Fuck it. She just needed to come to the point.

Jungkook shyly hide his face with his hands. 

‘Dude he is hella drunk.’ She thought for herself. Jungkook would never act like that in front of her, that shyly and cutely. There were times were it would slip out of him but not as obvious as that. 

“Yess. Aw, yes I do. I want to kiss you right now..”

He said while pouting, and Y/N’s heart stopped a beat. So it was true. He was indeed in love with her. 

She sat right next to him and took his hand. “Will you still say the same tomorrow? When you’re all sobered up?” Y/N asked, looking at Jungkook with a begging expression on her face. She couldn’t handle the shame, if Jungkook would deny all of his words. It would break her heart into thousand pieces. 

He nodded and for a moment she could see “her boy“clearly. There was no drunk Jungkook. There was a sincere Jungkook, that looked up to her with tired eyes. “I’ll promise you that I’m crazy in love with you.”

The brown haired boy put his hand on her’s, feeling the warmth that came out from her. He felt like, he was finally arriving home. 

“Can you promise me that, Jungkookie?” 

She asked again, worrying that he might forget everything or even deny it. 

He took his hand from hers, and started to caress her cheeks with his fingers. She had such beautiful soft skin. He barely could stop himself to kiss it. 

“I’ll never lie. Did I ever lie to you?” 

She slightly flinched at his touch, and looked at him. His eyes seemed sincere and he looked at her so lovingly, it made her feel so many emotions at once. She took his fingers that were just caressing her cheek and kissed them. 

“I’ll never hurt you.” 

He onced promised again, and touched his heart to hold onto his words. 

Jungkook knew that if he kissed her right away, he would most likely regret it. He wanted to be fully sober, to experience that first moment with her. So he fought the urge and just gave her a peck at her forehead, that caused a bright smile on her face. 

“I know that.” 

Unfortunately, he ruined this moment with a long yawn. But it made her smile instead. “Let’s go to sleep should we?” He nodded slowly. It was hard for him to still keep his eyes open. She took his hand and let his arm lay around her shoulder. “You deserve a good amount of sleep you little hero.” She said under a smile and helped him to go to her bedroom. 

“Today I was really a hero huh?”

“The most bravest little boy, I’ve ever witnessed” 

[marvelmando]

tempest [p.parker x o.c.] - thirteen

notes: hey y’all it’s been a hot second i think. but im still here! hope you all enjoy :) also don’t forget, if you’d like to be notified every time i update tempest, feel free to leave a comment to be added to my taglist!

contains: some swearing, angst of course

pairing: peter parker + fem! o.c.

word count: 3.3k

previous chapter next chapter tempest masterlist

MARIN RETRACTED THE ENERGY FROM AROUND HER FACE ONCE SHE REALIZED THE AIR ON TITAN WAS BREATHABLE. The first thing that popped into her brain was, did we land on Mars? But then she remembered the lurch into hyperspace (at least, she figured that was what it was, and she refused to think of it as anything else), and dismissed the idea.

But apart from the clearly dilapidated city this had once been, Titan was the exact same color as all the pictures of Mars had led her to believe—soil the color of bricks, dust floating through the air and covering every surface it landed on in a thick blanket of clay particles. Marin sneezed.

Peter looked around in awe, then she saw his gaze land on the alien girl with the antennae, still wrapped in his webbing. He left Marin’s side to approach her, and with nothing else to do while Tony ruminated, Quill searched the terrain, and Dr. Strange hovered over a rock with green energy floating around him, Marin chose to follow Peter.

“—it should dissolve soon, unless you want me to cut you out,” he was saying. With a murmured assent, Peter started cutting the girl out of his webs. “I’m Peter, by the way.” Once she was free, he stuck out a hand in greeting. The girl stared down at the proffered hand, then back to Peter’s face.

“I am Mantis.” She bowed slightly, completely ignoring Peter’s outstretched hand.

“Right,” Peter nodded back, lowering his hand awkwardly.

“I’m Marin.” She offered up a bit too harshly. Marin wasn’t used to resentment, but she didn’t like that the alien knew about her past. Did she know of it, or was she just forcing me to remember? Either way, Marin felt shifty standing next to her.

The alien—Mantis, an appropriate name for the fact she looked like a kind of insect—bowed again. Grateful the girl didn’t know Earthly customs; Marin wasn’t eager to make contact with her skin again.

Despite the unease she still felt around the alien, she was at least moved to make amends for her prematurely aggressive actions. “I’m sorry for attacking you.”

“I am also sorry for attacking you.” Even though it could’ve come across sounding slightly parroted, Marin saw the sincerity in her large, black eyes. Her antennae even drooped a bit, reminding Marin of a kicked puppy. She didn’t like the guilt that flooded her system.

“Oh yeah,” Peter said to Mantis, sounding interested. “What did you do anyway? All I saw was Marin put her hands on you and the next second she was on the ground, squirming.” Marin bristled, not liking how Peter described her… session? Was that what she could call it? Either way, Marin didn’t like that he saw how utterly incapacitated she’d become; whether it was a blow to her pride or dignity, she couldn’t tell. Or were they kind of the same thing?

“I can experience others’ emotions, sometimes the memories that are associated with the feelings.” Mantis explained, sounding rather robotic, as if English wasn’t her first language (which, in hindsight, it most definitely wasn’t. Distantly, Marin wondered how common English was in the universe, or if the translation was due to some sort of universal device.)

“No way! You’ve got empathy powers?!” Peter was growing visibly excited, vibrating slightly and bouncing on his heels. “So do I! Did you get bit by a radioactive mantis or something? Because—”

Marin lingered to the side, completely ignored. Peter seemed to either forget that this alien had attacked Marin so viciously, or disregard it. But even with this reasoning, Marin failed to convict herself. So why was she feeling so… jealous?

Nevertheless, Marin felt like an outsider, and after almost two years of getting over that fear, having it come back and hitting her like a blow to the stomach, Marin walked away. Not that either of them noticed, which was another blow, more like a slap to the cheek.

She instead approached Tony, who was in the middle of talking to Quill.

“—we’ve got one advantage: he’s coming to us. We’ll use it.” Nodding decisively, he turned and paced. “All right, I have a plan. Or at least the beginnings of one.” He announced to the team. Marin looked over her shoulder to Peter, who was raptly observing Mantis bounce up and down, slightly floating due to the lower gravitational field of the planet. Marin’s stomach twisted.

“It’s pretty simple. We draw him in, pin him down, get what we need.” Peter was starting to approach them, still glancing back at Mantis. “Definitely don’t wanna dance with this guy, we just want the gauntlet.”

“So we’ve gotta figure out a—”

Marin started to process a plan, when Tony interrupted her to chastise the buff dude.

“Are you yawning?” He looked offended. “In the middle of this, while I’m breaking it down? Huh? Did you hear what I said?”

“I stopped listening after you said ‘We need a plan’.”

“Okay, Mr. Clean is on his own page.” Tony said grumpily to no one in particular.

“See, ‘not winging it’ isn’t really what they… do.” Quill said, strangely, as if he wasn’t a part of their team.

Marin scoffed. “So what the hell do they do?”

“Kick names, take ass.” Mantis said, so assuredly that Marin had to think twice about the logistics of the statement.

Looking at Tony, she could tell that he was beginning to seriously regret coming to Titan. “All right, just get over here please.”

The six of them gathered in a loose circle, Marin standing closer to Tony than she did Quill, who was on each of her sides. Marin locked eyes with Peter for a moment, but glanced away, feeling an uncomfortable knot growing in her chest the longer she looked at him. She rubbed her chest inconspicuously as Tony tried to lay down the basic guidelines of a plan, trying to dispel the weird feeling.

“Tell him about the dance-off to save the universe.” The buff alien said, catching Marin’s attention.

“What dance-off?” Tony was bewildered, but Marin chanced a shared look with Peter, who seemed on the same wavelength as her.

“Like in Footloose, the movie?” He chuckled, and despite her sudden unease, Marin felt herself sharing a secret smile with him. Back when they saw each other almost every weekend, Peter took it upon himself to show Marin all of the cheesy 80s and 90s movies, after discovering that between training and school, she’d never gotten around to seeing them.

One night in particular, about two months after moving to the Tower, it’d snowed so bad that Peter was stuck there for the night, where they’d gotten through 16 Candles, Taxi Driver, St. Elmo’s Fire, and Footloose. By the time Footloose had come on, it was nearing four o’clock in the morning, and they’d run out of popcorn and couldn’t be hassled to microwave some more. So they’d just sat there, Peter humming along to the songs, and Marin just watching him from the other side of the expansive couch.

‘It’s catchy,’ he’d said to her once the credits started rolling, looking genuinely content but bashful at being caught singing along, ‘But it’s not the greatest movie in the world or anything.’

“Exactly like Footloose!” said Quill, pleased that someone had understood his reference. “Is it still the greatest movie in history?”

Marin grinned. “It never was.”

Peter’s eyes flickered over to her, his smile dropping into something softer, warmer. Marin felt the heat rise from her chest, crawling up her neck and flushing her cheeks. She gave him another smile before surrendering to the urge to look away before he noticed her blush.

“Don’t encourage this, all right?” Tony stepped closer to her, blocking her view of Peter. Marin rolled her eyes. “We’re getting no help from Flash Gordon here.”

Now that was a reference she didn’t understand.

“’Flash Gordon’?” Quill spoke, forcing Tony to turn so he could look at him. “By the way, that’s a compliment. Don’t forget, I’m half-human. So that 50% of me that’s stupid…” He looked to make sure Tony was following. “That’s 100% you.”

It was infallible logic to Marin, although she was pretty sure that this guy was more than fifty-percent stupid.

“Your math is… blowing my mind.”

“Excuse me?” Said Mantis, who was sounding worried. “But does your friend often do that?”

Everyone turned to see Dr. Strange, who, still glowing a sheer sheen of green light, was fidgeting at weird angles, almost looking as if he was possessed.

As Marin hurried over to get a closer look, Dr. Strange’s head was twitching at an accelerated speed.

Just as she’d approached, he’d emerged from whatever trance he’d been in with a pained shout. Marin and Tony helped to steady him on the rock he toppled on. Dr. Strange gasped for air, looking around frantically.

“Are you okay?” Marin grabbed his arm, holding him from thrashing about.

“You’re back, you’re all right.”

“Hey, what was that?” Peter asked.

“I went forward in time to view alternate futures,” Dr. Strange explained, sounding out-of-breath. “To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.” He blinked rapidly, looking more shaken that she’d seen him. Granted, she’d only known him for a few hours, but from what Marin gathered, Dr. Strange seemed quite level-headed and not like the type to be distressed under pressure. It wasn’t as alarming as finding Tony broken down on the ship, but it was still unnerving to Marin.

“How many did you see?”

“14 million, six hundred and five.”

“How many did we win?” Marin asked. She braced herself, sensing a strong feeling of disturbed energy emanating from Dr. Strange.

The wizard took a bracing inhale. He shifted his eyes away from her, before settling heavily on Tony. “One.”

The silence was deafening in Marin’s ears. Her focus went fuzzy as she tried to calculate the sheer odds of winning this.

At some point, everyone started yelling, but Marin was still stuck on the ground, hands now empty as Dr. Strange had positioned himself in the debate, brushing off Quill’s attempts to weasel the truth from him.

She ran over the statistics in her head. There were only three Stones Thanos needed—the Soul Stone, which was at an unknown location; the Mind Stone, which was currently somewhere on Earth, if the rest of the Avengers were ever able to locate Vision; and the Time Stone, in Dr. Strange’s possession. Three more Stones and he’d be able to wipe out trillions—and one of the only things stopping it from happening was this chaotic group of powered individuals.

Marin clenched her eyes shut, letting her body curl in on itself as she desperately flipped through attack plans in her head. There was little to no water on this planet, and she’d drank all of her water back on the ship, so her hydrokinetic powers were out. All she had in her arsenal were her energy manipulation powers, and they were still uncontrolled, at best. She’d managed to control her flight abilities well enough, but she still struggled heavily with her attack powers.

The touch to her forearm startled her enough for her to activate her energy, though they relaxed at the sight of a concerned Tony Stark with his arms braced in surrender.

Once relaxed, he took the seat next to her.

“It’s gonna be okay, kid.” He said, even though he hardly sounded convinced himself. “We all… well, most of us know what we’re doing.”

Marin laughed dryly. “Yeah, and who’s that? Because all I see are a bunch of fucked-up misfits trying to fit together like pieces belonging to seven different puzzles.” Marin tugged a rough hand through her hair, now reaching inches below her shoulders and bangs grown long. “Let’s see, we’ve got: one rich guy in a fancy suit, one wizard-slash-doctor with a seriously messed-up superiority complex, an alien with feely-powers, another alien that only has enhanced strength in his arsenal, one half-wit with a mad vendetta the size of Texas, one spider-kid, and one… one mutant that can’t control the only power that she’s got a chance at defeating this guy with.” Marin was flushed by the end of her rant, panting hard. She realized that her hands were beginning to glow, so she flexed them, forcing her energy to crawl back.

“Wow,” said Tony, stoically. “You done harping?”

Marin grumbled an assent but felt the anger dissipate nonetheless.

“Good. Because… well, I’d have to agree with you about a lot of those observations. For one, Drax and Quill aren’t the brightest.” Marin rolled her eyes. So that was the buff dude’s name. “Neither is Mantis, for that matter. But they’ve got something we don’t have—experience. And I know what you’re gonna say, I’ve been doing this for years, too. But I’ve also never been to space—this Quill guy? He’s half-god. Like, his father was a planet.” At her inquisitive look, he explained with a shrug, “He likes to blabber.”

He repositioned himself so he was facing her more. “Anyway, my point is, these guys may not be as mechanically or strategically intelligent as us, but they know Thanos—they have direct experience with fighting him. Us? Me? All I’ve done is fight regular alien drones. And one demi-god, but this… we need them, Mare.”

Marin glanced up at the nickname. He didn’t use it often, sticking to her full name or ‘kid’, only sometimes ‘Tempest’. Tony had become something of a father-figure to Marin, something she’d never really had, even when her dad was alive. Tony knew this, and she thought that was why he’d pulled her under his wing. Even Peter didn’t seem as close to him anymore, seeing as he lived hours away.

“And as for you?” Tony poked her shoulder, causing a smile to creep onto her lips. “I have all the faith that you’ll do whatever you can to stop him. You’ve never been faced with a greater threat, but… I think you’re ready. Truly.”

Marin’s smile grew, settling into something private and warm. “Thanks, Tony.”

“That being said…” Tony continued, looking hesitant. “Your attacks still drain a lot of your power, and we need you to save as much as you can for when the time comes.

“The plan is, we need to get the gauntlet off of his arm. That’s our best bet. We can do that if we work together—Quill and Drax getting him to the ground, Pete, Dr. Strange and I keeping his arms apart, so we can keep his hand open to prevent him from using the Stones. Mantis will keep him calm using her empath control, and you’re gonna drain his energy to keep him weak.”

Marin’s eyes widened. “I don’t—but I’ve never—!”

“I know, but that’s why we need you to stay down until it’s time. We need as much of your energy as possible if we’re gonna win this.”

Marin searched his eyes. “Did Dr. Strange tell you any of this?”

Tony sighed, confessing, “No. He’s refusing to give us even the tiniest hints. All he’s admitting to is that we need to try and get the gauntlet off of Thanos. From there, he says that if he tells us, it won’t happen.”

“So… how…” Marin grunted frustratedly, rubbing her face with her hands. “How the hell are we supposed to win this thing?”

Tony smiled, clapping her shoulder. “Teamwork.”

Marin sighed. “Of course.”

+++

After Tony left to go discuss the plan with the others, Marin didn’t move from her seat. She figured she should’ve been doing the meditations Natasha taught her, to hone into her powers and focus on controlling them, but Marin was so frazzled, she felt that if she even attempted bringing out her powers, they would go haywire and she’d be drained even before the battle started.

This was always the hardest part of missions. Even back in the X-Men, when the only missions they went on were busting drug deals and recruiting new mutants, it was the waiting that drove Marin crazy. The not-knowing but anticipating the action. It was somehow worse, now, because she knew that the threat was far greater than petty drug dealers and mutant adolescents.

She could feel the energy bubbling inside her, fritzing her nerves. She felt jittery, her exposed skin buzzing like an active wire. She jumped up, pacing, trying to calm herself down.

As she went to turn, she bumped into a body, startling her and almost making her energy flash. “Jesus, Parker!”

“Sorry!” He jumped back, avoiding her skin. That stung, even though she knew it was probably the most logical reaction. Still, irrationally hurt by his recoil, she wrapped her arms protectively around her chest, tucking her trembling hands beneath her underarms.

Realizing his error, he automatically reached out, grabbing onto her triceps with firm, steady hands. His grip grounded her, the warmth of his skin somehow permeating both the metallic fabric of his suit and the lycra-type microparticles of hers. Almost immediately, Marin felt herself steadying.

She reflexively uncrossed her arms as she stared into Peter’s eyes, which were darkened with worry. “Mare, you all right?”

Not bothering to hide it, she exhaled, shaking her head minimally. “No, I don’t think so.”

He pulled her into him, folding her into his embrace. Marin, now just short enough, tucked her head under Peter’s chin, resting her cheek on the cooled metal spanning his chest. She wrapped her arms solidly around his waist. Through the suit, she could feel the steady, strong beat of his heart, and the two of them stayed silent, allowing themselves to revel in the comfort of a familiar pair of arms.

After a moment, when her breathing steadied, and she could feel Peter’s heart to quicken just slightly, they pulled away slowly.

“Better?” Peter asked, searching her eyes, tone free of any vanity that would have sounded in anyone else’s mouth.

Marin nodded, eyes roaming idly over his face. It’d been so long since she’d been this close to Peter, and she could see some of the changes in his expression, where she couldn’t see in the darkness of the ship. He had a darker smattering of freckles, his eyes creased only slightly where his skin folded when he smiled. He didn’t look old, like with wrinkles, but his face showed a new sense of maturity she hadn’t noticed before; where there was a subtle roundness in his cheeks, skin stretched tighter over bone, exposing sharper cheekbones and a stronger jaw. She noticed the muscle in his jaw clench, his thin lips moving over teeth like he was chewing on words he couldn’t bring himself to say. His hair was longer, it flowed from his head in waves like a sea of melted chocolate, curling slightly where it wrapped behind his slightly stuck-out ears. She remembered when they seemed too big for his head, but they suited him now, only a little noticeable as they framed his chiseled face.

The only thing that remained completely unchanged were his eyes. Honey brown and so expressive; she could read every emotion that flashed across them. Flecks of gold lined the darkness of the pupil, brightening the longer she looked into them.

Something rolled in her stomach as she studied him, aching like a cramp. Her chest ached like someone had taken her heart and gripped it tight, and she yearned to discover what exactly was making her feel this way. She’d never felt anything like it before—only something similar to when she remembered Lucy and James with an aching fondness, but this… this was twenty times stronger than that. It was like her soul was simultaneously being lit on fire and brushed by the frigid grip of liquid nitrogen.

She wasn’t sure what she would’ve said, but the words were squeezed out of her, “Pete, I—”

“Everyone into position!” Tony hollered, breaking Marin and Peter out of their shared trance. They reluctantly backed away from each other, only seeming to come to attention at the realization that this was it. There was no more waiting, no more anticipation.

Thanos was coming.

taglist

@dark-night-sky-99 @pushmeinablackhole @demi-starzak @-thatgirloverthere- @yourwonderbelle​  @silver-winter-wolf​

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 175: 8:30 A.M.

Previously on BnHA: Deku agreed to help the staging team hoist Aoyama above the gym as a living disco ball. Time progressed and we got another nice scene of Deku training with All Might. All Might revealed that his mastery of OFA actually came to him quite easily and instinctively, which is he sometimes has trouble guiding Deku. Mei showed up and did some Mei things and told Deku that the new ~mystery support item~ he requested would be ready soon. Apparently Deku requested it to help with his new move, and All Might’s cool with it as long as he doesn’t start to rely on support items too much. Class A’s preparations continued and Momo served everyone some fancy tea. Gentle reviewed his plan of attack with La Brava. He intends for this to be a wake-up call that will help the little hero eggs of U.A. grow stronger, and he’s probably not wrong, but at some point all of this character building is gonna kill these poor kids. So now we’re cutting to the night before the festival, and that’s where this chapter will presumably pick up!

Today on BnHA: The kids of 1-A wrap up their dress rehearsal and gather in their common room to make final preparations and work off their nervous energy. Deku realizes that the rope he’s gonna use to suspend Aoyama is dangerously frayed, so he decides to run out to the store early in the morning to buy a new one before the show. The next day Hatsume delivers his new support item -- another new pair of gloves. After breaking them in with some training, Deku heads out to the store conveniently still wearing them. On his way back to U.A. he stumbles across a ~mysterious pair of characters~ wearing trench coats and sunglasses as they emerge from a tea shop. Deku says something about tea, and Gentle can’t keep his fucking mouth shut, and Deku subsequently recognizes his voice and realizes he’s the villain from the Youtube videos. Remembering that the festival will be cancelled if even a single alarm goes off, Deku decides he’ll just stop Gentle on his own, and gets ready to fight.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 199 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

these kids are all too fucking cute

who’s braiding Eri’s hair? a doctor/nurse?

more importantly, is Eri gonna have braided hair today omg. I’m gonna fucking die of cuteness here

(ETA: for some reason she does not. maybe they tried it out but she just wasn’t feeling it. who knows! but she’s still adorable no matter what)

holy moses

that’s another Iida dancing panel. swiped. placed in special folder

omgggg

I’m so exciteddddd

“but now I know for sure that I was one hundred percent right to be worried”

nah just kidding Sero. BREAK A LEG

he says that both the band and dance team have come a long way

SHOW MORE OF THE BANDDDD

aww he’s giving Mina props for being “such a super intense coach”

don’t forget to also give her props for coming up with your disco ball thing

(ETA: MVP)

THE BANDDDD!!!

DON’T YOU ‘EH’ HER YOU MONOSYLLABIC BASTARD. YOU HEARD HER, NONE OF THOSE “WEIRD AD LIBS”

also lmao at “ONE OF US might get thrown off”, which absolutely is referring to Kaminari and only Kaminari and you all know it

but it’s not his fault! he’s still learning!!

sobbb

I swear to god, if Gentle does ANYTHING to fuck this shit up I will cast him deep into the pits of Cancelled Hell right there with Mineta and Overhaul

now Hounddog is coming to chase them out because BARK BARK BARK, STUDENTS ARE ONLY ALLOWED IN HERE TILL 9

is he literally foaming at the mouth

anyways, so now all the good little boys and girls are in bed resting up for their big day!

AND THE NOT SO GOOD LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS ARE RUNNING AROUND SCREAMING

“some people” is obviously Bakugou lmao

also this is the cutest!!!!!!! this chapter is going for the record, huh? Cutest Chapter? going for the title? you’ve gotta beat out all of Deku and Kacchan’s flashbacks, all of Mirio’s flashbacks, that chapter two chapters ago with Eri touring the campus, and chapter 163 with Kaminari being all, [HOP] “HEY KACCHAN”

so it’s a tall order! but I think this might just have what it takes!!!

Jirou is telling Iida it won’t do any good to worry now about whether or not everyone else will enjoy it, and that they just have to enjoy themselves

and the boyfriend is all

THAT WAS DIFFERENT, KAMINARI!!

Deku’s agreeing with Jirou from over by the table where he’s double checking the equipment he’s gonna use for the Aoyama Hoisting

and it’s a good thing he did check it, too!

lmao

“IT’S THE PROOF OF OUR FRIENDSHIP” “no, actually, this would probably get you killed dude”

also Kaminari’s “desuwa” has legit just bumped him up a notch on my favorite characters list. fully not joking. whoever was at number nine just got bumped down. I think it was either Toga or Mirio. actually, you know what, I’m gonna go ahead and say he just leapfrogged both of them and ended up at the #8 spot right behind Momo. that’s the power of doing loving cheeky impressions of your fellow classmates

anyway, Momo is apparently already in bed though. because SHE is one of the good little girls

and Mina’s shouting “don’t treat her like a tool box!” and Kami’s protesting that they all treat him like a battery charger though

I mean, if I had a quirk that could recharge people’s phones or make them ropes and shit, I wouldn’t mind using it to help out my good friends! and I’m sure Momo wouldn’t mind either, so long as they waited until morning and, you know, didn’t go and wake her up just for that lol. but whatever

Deku says he’ll just buy one first thing in the morning since he’s gonna be training anyway

I’m thinking back to Gentle’s detailed plan of attack, but although the home center Deku’s talking about was indeed on that route, I don’t think the schedule matches up with Gentle’s. he and La Brava should still be drinking tea until 8:30. although the cafe is right by the home center though

but I’m thinking there’s a chance Deku might spot him in the cafe though maybe, and recognize him from the videos

anyway! that’s a problem for future!Deku! current!Deku is doing a cheer with his fellow students and heading off to bed

tempted to include this with the dancing Iida panels, but no. I’m choosy enough to wait for the real deal

so now it’s 6:30 the next morning, and Midoriya Izuku, who most definitely has not gotten as much sleep as a growing boy needs, is nonetheless out training with All Might again

and Mei is here with his new item!

ooh

always with the glove upgrades, huh

lol All Might is impressed with how far technology has come

that’s right, All Might. welcome to the... twenty... third?? century?? I don’t actually know for sure but I usually just add 200 years to where we’re at currently for simplicity’s sake

also, Mei can make things this compact. we don’t know anything about “they.” but this genius girl here, she can do it, and she deserves some credit

Mei is seriously so cool though

and she did this all on even less sleep than Deku. (although apparently she’s planning a 36-hour power nap once this is all over, which sounds amazing)

so now Deku is going to test out the “thing” he wanted to try

and of course we’re cutting away lol and cutting to 7:50 a.m.

Deku’s running to the store and fretting about almost being late

honestly you should have just asked Momo if it ended up being like this

he still has his gloves, incidentally. HOW CONVENIENT

-- oh snap, because this ridiculous little villain magnet was late and then had trouble finding a rope, it’s now 8:30. aka exactly when our two villains are scheduled to leave the tea shop

and sure enough...

OH MY GOD LA BRAVA

THAT DOES IT. DEFINITELY THE CUTEST CHAPTER EVER DALSFKHDL

Gentle is all “the aftertaste of the imperial golden tips was almost ruined!”

and now he’s scampering off with La Brava quick as can be

so it seems like the name of that tea was important? I guess?

oh my god

so Deku’s all “huh, so that house was a cafe, whoodda thunk?”

and Gentle is getting all “!!!”

and. just

oh my god he thinks he’s a fellow tea enthusiast

how does he not actually recognize Deku, though? too gentlemanly to watch TV like ever?

(ETA: probably just sticks to reading books in a big armchair by the fireplace)

Deku’s saying he just knows about it because he got some from a friend

BUT, he’s thinking that Gentle’s voice sounds familiar!

meanwhile, Gentle is all “ooh you must have a pretty high-class friend”

but then he’s like

and Deku is all

oh my god lmao

they’re both freaking out

and as always, Deku’s Big Hero Brain is way too freaking smart

so Gentle’s turning to make a quick getaway, but Deku’s asking him to wait a moment

ooooooooh snap

YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF GENTLE, THIS KID HAS A PROVISIONAL LICENSE AND SOME SHINY NEW GLOVES MOTHERFUCKAA

so now Deku’s setting down the bags with the rope, and remembering what the Rat Principal said (did he actually say this? I thought it was part of his flashback with the police commish but I guess not) about how they would immediately suspend activities if the alarm sounds

and I’m guessing... that maybe Deku wants to take care of this right here because he doesn’t want the cultural festival to be cancelled after all of their hard work

which is pretty stupid, but also understandable enough that I have no trouble buying it

like, he should be calling the authorities and putting them on alert, not trying to take this mofo out himself lmao

but instead this is happening

and you know what? I’m okay with that

BONUS: my boy Fat Gummmm

Fat Gum sobbing while eating a banana and apologizing to the ghost of Nighteye is somehow just the biggest mood

look how he has the takoyaki splayed between his knuckles because eating them one at a time just isn’t enough. think bigger. plus ultra!!!

it took him all of four days. what a champ. and now I’m fucking starving omg

[closetofanxiety]

50 Wrestling Questions: Why Not

Remember this? It’s been a while. Let’s do this again. Let’s twist again like we did last summer. Or the summer of 2017 in this case.

1. What got you into wrestling?

People ask me this all the time, and I don’t really have a good answer. I’ve liked it on and off since I was very young, and who knows why you like the stuff you like when you’re a little kid? 

2. What is your favorite wrestling promotion?

Of all time: ECW, even though I would probably think of it very differently if it were happening today. Currently: Beyond Wrestling. 

3. Favorite male wrestler of all time?

Gorgeous George, but if we’re talking about people who were alive when I was alive, Dusty Rhodes. I want to say Bruiser Brody, but in my heart I would know I was just saying that to look cool. 

4. Favorite female wrestler of all time?

Gail Kim. For the longest time, she was the only woman in a major global wrestling company who got over based on her wrestling ability. She was doing stuff in TNA that was years ahead of its time, and could adapt her style to get great matches with a variety of opponents with very different backgrounds. And she can still go, as she showed in the match against Tessa Blanchard the other night. I know it would be cooler to say Bull Nakano or Chigusa Nagayo or something, but I don’t know enough of their stuff to make that claim credible. I am who I am, a person who goes to the mall to buy shoes. 

5. Favorite current male wrestler?

Nick Gage

6. Favorite current female wrestler?

Momo Watanabe 

7. Favorite theme song?

Joey Janela’s music captures his vibe perfectly, and sounds great being blasted out of PA speakers inside a small bar or VFW hall. Of all time, probably, I don’t know, Honky Tonk Man? In an ironic way that slowly becomes sincere?

8. Least favorite theme song?

Ricochet’s WWE theme music is pretty dreadful. 

9. Favorite gimmick?

Currently: Orange Cassidy. All time: Road Warriors maybe? They were almost 100 percent gimmick, and they were the biggest tag team in the world at a great time for tag team wrestling. 

10. Least favorite gimmick?

All the racist and gay-hating gimmicks that have been used throughout the years are more or less equally horrible. If we’re talking about a terrible gimmick that was non-malignant, I’d say it was taking giant indestructible ass-kicker Mike Awesome and making him “That 70s Guy.” 

11. Best entrance (either their usual entrance or a special one, like a Wrestlemania entrance)?

Gorgeous George had the best entrance of all time, and it’s been copied ever since (Ric Flair’s entrance is basically Gorgeous George’s, scored with a different piece of classical music). The Sandman also had a great entrance. He was kind of all-entrance, now that I think of it. I also love those old shows in Japan where Brody would come out to “Immigrant Song” running through the crowd, swinging a fucking chain over his head like a lunatic. An entrance that makes you fear for your life: mission accomplished. 

12. Best Undertaker Wrestlemania match?

I am not the right person to ask for Undertaker superlatives, but the Lesnar match had a legitimately shocking conclusion that I still appreciate 

13. Most overrated?

I’m tempted to incur the wrath of the online by making a contrarian hot take selection like Ken Omega, but in reality it’s probably the Undertaker. 

14. Most underrated?

There are a million choices from before the 1980s, the Before Time of contemporary pro wrestling. Edouard Carpentier, say; he was having matches in 1970 that would not look out of place in 2019. Since the 1980s, I’d say Jerry Lynn is a very strong contender for most underrated. The popular choice would be Sid or Lex Luger, but I think they’re pretty much rated exactly as they should be. 

15. Have you ever been to an event? If so, which one?

I certainly have been to many pro wrestling events. I go to one or two a month. Like a lot of things, wrestling is pretty much always fun in person. It helps that the Northeast has a ton of good companies within easy driving distance. My favorite show of all time might be Americanrana 2016. 

16. Who has the best merch?

We’re in a weird period where people on Instagram are making better shirt designs (in insanely limited editions) than the vast majority of wrestlers or wrestling companies. I will say that Kris Wolf has yet to make an ugly or boring piece of merchandise, which is a huge complication in this day and age. 

17. Do you own any merch?

Nope! Wait, I mean, “yes, entirely too much.” Shirts, 8 x 10s, DVDs, magazines, random pieces like fancy enamel badges and a stack of Okada bucks. The one thing I’ve never gotten into is action figures, and that’s probably good for the ol’ bank balance. 

18. Best nickname?

"The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes is an all-time classic. 

19. Worst nickname?

"The Game” is a dumb nickname. “The Cerebral Assassin” is also a dumb nickname. Are assassins supposed to be stupid? I bet they’re typically very smart, although of low moral character. “Triple H” is his only good nickname, and even that sounds like the nickname of a guy who owns a car dealership out by the highway.

20. Best mic skills?

Nobody was ever better than Bobby Heenan, who had incredible range and versatility. He could do comedy and he could do menace. He could do calm and he could do spitting rage. He had an uncanny sense of timing and was quicker on his feet than almost anyone. No one really comes close at matching his astonishing depth, but Dusty Rhodes was an all-time great promo. He really made you care about wrestling matches, which is not an easy thing to do.

21. Most annoying?

I mean, it has to be Vince McMahon. 

22. Most attractive male?

Is Tanahashi too obvious a choice? Best hair in wrestling. It’s incredible and luxurious, like an untamed mountain stream. Andrade “Cien” Almas or whatever they’ve shortened his name to (”And”) is a handsome man. Killer Kross: very handsome. We live in a golden age of attractive wrestlers. Just look back at the gassed-up Zubaz mastodons of the 1980s, or the territories-era guys who all looked like they were 48 years old and had pot bellies. You almost have to try to find unattractive wrestlers. Nick Gage, for instance. But I’m sure even he has his swooning admirers. 

23. Most attractive female?

Again, what a time for attractive wrestlers. It may be shallow, but wrestling is a business that’s at least partially cosmetic. Attractive people sell tickets. I would, and have, bought a ticket to see Hana Kimura. 

24. Favorite faction?

Of all time? Probably the Barry Windham-era Four Horsemen. More recently, Team Pazuzu. 

25. Worst faction?

BULLET CLUB. No, it’s not the Bullet Club, as exhausted as they’ve become. It’s probably the nWo after early 1998 or so, when they had like 60 members and dragged down every storyline. 

26. Best ring gear?

Su Yung and Pentagon Jr. 

27. Who do you think would be the nicest in real life?

I bet Jerry Lynn is a good guy to know. People in wrestling universally praise Little Guido, which is very rare. The Young Bucks seem like they might be decent dudes. Willow Nightingale told a story on a podcast about Nick Gage excitedly playing with Solo Darling’s dog backstage, so you never know. 

28. Who would be the rudest in real life?

On the indie level, it’s probably someone who doesn’t work very much. Above the indie level, I bet some of those British guys are secretly horrible, like Jimmy Havoc. 

29. Favorite heel?

Currently it’s a tie between MJF and Alisha Edwards, two of the only people who can regularly get indie crowds to boo them. Of all time, heel Flair was hard to beat. 

30. Most hardcore?

It’s definitely either a guy in Japan or a guy in Mexico, and he’s definitely been burned by explosive charges multiple times. Onita? It’s probably Onita. Or Jun Kasai? I think Onita has probably been exploded more times than Jun Kasai. 

31. A wrestler you could beat?

At wrestling? Not a single one of them. Nicholas, the small boy who won the WWE tag team championship with Braun Strowman, would wipe the floor with me. Even the most callow bodybuilder-turned-wrestler would not break a sweat beating me senseless. But writing talking points for senior administration officials in preparation for legislative testimony? Now you’re on my turf. Not so tough now, huh, Nicholas? 

32. Best story line?

Freebirds vs. Von Erichs or Stone Cold vs. Vince. My heart says the former, my head says the latter. 

33. Biggest missed opportunity for a story line?

The WWE blowing the invasion angle after purchasing WCW is the obvious one. More recently, they blew it by not turning Reigns heel. 

34. Worst story line?

Ha, so many of them. Impossible to choose just one. At least most of the dumb embarrassing Russo ones in WCW and TNA were basically harmless, like the time Samoa Joe got kidnapped by ninjas. The Chuck and Billy wedding thing was far worse. A low point even by Vince’s impressively cretinous standards.

35. Which wrestler should turn heel?

I’d like to see a Jordynne Grace heel run in Impact. Heel Finn Balor would also be good. 

36. Which wrestler should turn face?

Samoa Joe has a good fiery babyface, “I’m tired of doing your dirty work, McMahon!” run in him. 

37. Who would be the worst to room with?

Can you imagine sharing a living space with Enzo Amore? Or the thicket of twee Disney merchandise you’d have to negotiate every day if you lived with Johnny Gargano?

38. Who would be the best to room with?

I bet Eddie Edwards would be a surprisingly thoughtful roommate, like he’d always do the dishes “because I love doing them!,” that kind of thing. I have nothing to base this suspicion on, he just seems like my old roommate, Shane, who was like that. 

39. Who would be your best friend if you were a wrestler?

I’d like to say Jushin Thunder Liger, and posit that we would go on exciting adventures, but the answer is probably something like “Comp Time” Terry Dandridge, who wrestles monthly for 2Xtreme All-Pro Wrestling Alliance out of Euphoria, Kansas and has a 9 to 5 as a hardware store manager. 

40. What would your job be in a wrestling promotion?

I’d normally make a self-effacing joke here, but I do social media training at my real job, and so many wrestlers are badly in need of help in this area. 

41. Favorite wrestling podcast/Youtube channel?

I like AIW’s “The Card is Going to Change” podcast a lot, and there’s one by the owners of RevPro that’s pretty good. It’s hard to find a well-produced wrestling podcast that talks about independent wrestling. My favorite wrestling YouTube channel is OSW Review. 

42. Favorite finisher?

BURNING HAMMER

43. Least favorite finisher?

The Bayley-to-belly suplex. HOW IS THIS A FINISHING MOVE

44. Favorite match?

Kerry Von Erich vs. Jerry Lawler at Superclash III. It was a bloody, weird, engrossing spectacle, and it was the symbolic end of the territories era. 

45. Favorite PPV?

Royal Rumble is the last PPV my casual fan friends reliably want to see, and with good reason: it’s engrossing.

46. Guilty pleasure wrestler?

Big Banter Baron Corbin, but I feel no guilt here. He rules. 

47. Favorite submission?

THE KATA HA JIME, otherwise known as the Tazmission.

48. Most entertaining to watch?

All time? Randy Savage. Currently? Io Shirai. 

49. Best spot?

Anyone spitting mist into the unsuspecting eyes of their foes

50. Who do you most respect?

I respect you, booker man.

[katzenflocken]

LA Times

I went to a Halloween party in October and I wrote down my experience in my phone.

A month or so ago I had made the decision that I wanted to attend a Halloween event and ultimately I decided on scream in Edmonton. I had bought the pre-sale ticket without actually knowing who was playing since there was no lineup details but this didn't concern me because I just wanted to go have fun and listen to some jams with cool people. I had calculated the cost of bus and hotel and came up to roughly 700 for a comfortable trip with all the best food/mixed drinks at the show. I had already had my own party favors so this was one of the reasons why I wanted to keep it local in Alberta. But then the lineup got released and I only seen one artist that was potentially going to be "okay" after listening to their SoundCloud. I was feeling very on the fence and on top of that, the party only went until 2am which was making it real hard to justify a long boring ass bus ride for a short night of mostly lame edm music. (No offense to the edm enthusiasts out there)

After some Olympic tier mental gymnastics of being so sure I wanted to go to Scream, I got curious and went to the handy dandy Resident Advisor and looked at shows in Alberta then Vancouver, even Toronto. I didn't see any events I was interested in and I left it at that. Then I got the brilliant and brave idea to possibly venture outside our borders, and a few clicks later I stumbled upon louisahhh's upcoming events and noticed she was playing a show along with boys noize and tbh, it was a no brainer. I had to make this happen. After a few calculations, it was literally going to cost the same as going to Edmonton (600 cdn) but with more spending money required in American. So naturally it was 💯 percent the logical choice. The event was called Minimal Effort which was an all techno show with 4 stages. Like holy shit! This event was most definitely calling my name.

I had told family and a few friends and some them ask me why? I've already vacationed once or twice this year so why a third time? I really don't know why, there is no reason. I just like doing these things. It is true that given the current situation, I better to avoid these such things. but the idea of letting someone's words prevent me from doing something so fun and exciting yet so doable drives me mad. In fact this very idea is what makes it so evident that I am in control of my life. I create the reality I live in and why should I let others shape it for me with manipulating opinions. I would argue I am not living to die, I am dying to live. Personally I don't think it's very odd or strange to do exactly what you put your mind to, so it is in such a context that I wanted to make this trip. I hope people see what I do and feel encouraged or empowered. If I can do it you can too. But everyone isnt me and is open to their own opinion.

So my passport is lightly damaged, a few months after I got it I washed it lol whoops. I've been using it since without incident and it expires pretty quick in early 2019 so I felt confident I will make it on the plane and I did! I flew air Canada btw and their service was very meh. There was also some meean turbulence, other than that it was boring. Planes suck ass and I can't sleep on them. I had bought a roaming plan so I can text and use Google maps like a real Traveller. This was the best decision of the whole trip actually, so get ur phones working guys!

Upon landing I was very nervous because I literally didn't want to pay a lot of money to get downtown where my hostel was. But I asked this Tony hawk looking guy he gave me the rundown and to take the skyaway bus which was like 9 dollars. Hella life saver! I got downtown and got Subway spicy chicken wrap at Union station. Now I taxi'd to my hostel... It was near or in the ghetto. When the man dropped me off it was dark and these yuuuge dogs were jumping at me from the other side of the fence, confirming my suspicion that this is in fact the ghetto. I find the property next door and these dudes are smoking outside, I got their attention and they said to go upstairs and talk to "Champaign". In my head I instantly thought a black drug dealer... But then I was greeted by a slim easy going japanese dude with a samurai ponytail who spoke poor English but still had a friendly vibe. Turns out he is the cook/caretaker. I came on the night they had a dinner party that they hold once a month. Pay 10 dollars and you can eat the food that he was cooking. Champaign cooked for a army and I felt like an asshole because I literally came with a belly full of Subway. I had a few snacks and met the other Traveller's/Tennant's that were residing here. In that exact moment I felt like this is exactly where I needed to be. I was not alone and I was amongst other human beings like myself and we were all brought together by an unknown force all so Champaign can go to bed we knowing no one went to bed hungry. I actually passed out after midnight. Kinda lame but tbh I was wiped out from that hectic almost frantic trip to this hostel. The toppest compliment I give to any hotel/hostel is that this place had the best mattress, apparently they were italian (I asked lol).

Saturday (party day). My goal in the afternoon was to adventure and have a decent meal but it was getting off to a slow start due to me not figuring out where I wanted to go. I was recommended business district and looked up reviews but it was all meh. I want that yummy and probably unhealthy local food locations. The guy also said to take an Uber. Which I was like uhhhhhh iduno man... Maybe. Then as I was just getting ready to leave, this korean guy named Sam asked where I was going and he said "you should check out Korea Town, it's dope!!" And I looked up places and he said "no go here!" And I was like okay. Then he said he'll come with me and show me around after he finishes the laundry. Like a good lad I waited and in between he looked at me and whispered "hey do you do... Stuff" and there are a lot of implications there lol so I had to ask like what? And he pulled a little baggie and my reply was "yeah I like stuff" then did it and the kid lit up like a Christmas tree. He was mad hype folding the towels and then him and Champaign blazed downstairs.

One of the most fascinating yet mundane happenings was that I installed Uber on my phone. While those guys were blasting off I went ahead and gave the Uber a good historic first whirl. Little did I know my life was about to change in that exact moment. In 2 minutes after selecting where I wanted to go the driver was there. Holy shit! The cool part was that I only paid 8 dollars to go to the opposite side of the downtown. I wish I can expand on what I did, but tbh all we did was just walk and talk. It was great because it made me feel more immersed in to the city. Kind of like you had to be there type of experience. Then it was food time, he pointed out a Korean joint and I got a meal and he didn't order anything and then like 10 sides came and then 6 more little plates for the main dish. I told Sam he can have some because this is absurd. As we were eating, I slowly gazed around the place and everyone was just a little bit chubby. Sam told me Koreans don't waste their shit and eat as much as possible... Plus it's America lol. After eating like an animal and totally ruining my white shirt we went to get smokes and the line at 711 was almost way too long. Sam pointed out that everyone was powerballin' it... Then upon paying for the smokes and soda I said "one Powerball please". I had caved in and joined the race. We took an Uber back and the driver was a Mexican mom. She was cute in a grandma kind of way and we talked about there should be a "good news" radio because it's so scary listening to the radio. We laughed and laughed some more while Sam had fell into a Korean BBQ coma.

We get back to the hostel, Sam goes back to work and I have about an hour to get ready/nap before the party. Sam asked if I needed party favors and I took him up on his offer, because I hate asking at parties because it's so sketchy. At this point of the trip I realized everything is going 110% right. Sometimes I feel like I am just lucky because I always find myself in surprising situations and that now it's almost normal to me. My body and mind was totes ready to party, then I almost forget... I have stickers!!! I always have some in my bag and I grabbed at least 50 of them. People always love that shit, plus it makes everything more fun by adding another layer to the party... Lol get it? Layer?!? Aaanyways the one girl showed me how to work the door lock, basically it's an app that registers my phone to the deadbolt... What a game changer! Technology huh?! What a cool place! Then the Uber came and took like 4 dollars to get there, I think I can get used to this LA lifestyle if I ever had the chance. The dude dropped me off and I was proper nervous, made sure to hide my shit good and have my ID, ticket and game face ready because there was like 8 security in front... Also I am a pretty nervous person in general, I may seem cool and collected on the outside but on the inside I am a scared little shaking Chihuahua barking internally.

So I finally made it! All my hard work payed off! The weird thing was the guy didn't even look at my ticket, just my ID. Any Yahoo off the street could have walked in. Butt fuck it, I am here and that's all that matters. Imediately I get a beer... 8 dollars. The shit I put up with tbh, the price I pay for fun is worth it but my goodness is it painful. I wander around the theatre and it is nicely large and open. Not hot!! Can you believe that? The other stages weren't bad, too much to take it all in tbh. I settled at the main stage which was the first one you sent me when you walk in. The first artist playing was a chick, she played some good jam actually so I quite enjoyed her set. The only thing that led me to believe she doesn't actually make music and only is a DJ, was that every track she played I knew. Which is expected from shows like this but she didn't play anything "original", it's not a bad thing but if I was to critique her I'd be disappointed because I am the type of person to be wowed and I like to seek new material. I went for a smoke and met this couple dressed and Vegeta and Bulma, hella rad. They were cool, totally forget their names tho. Met this Mexican dude too who was a little short had crazy contact lenses and had a friendly chat. he was rolling which was cool because I wish I was, I even asked him but he was fresh out. The party started picking up too and louisahhh's set was about to play and I am 3 beers deep so I gotta step up my game. And guess what!? It's Modelo time homie!! Met a dude in a headdress and took a pic with him to piss off other people who are against that bullshit, as long as they are respectful about it I think it's awesome... so @ those who are trying to be offended on purpose, fuck you. Went to the bathroom and dropped my Modelo and the worker watched me do it and didn't say anything and swept it up. I went back to get another normal beer because the Modelo was 9 dollars. They mind as well get the lube ready because they are already fucking me dry. I had run out of party favors at this point because I only had a little but that's not why I am here so I accept that fact and I am just glad to be here. The dancefloor was sticky but as more spills happened it was less annoying and more people came, it made it more bearable lol if that makes sense. The sound was definitely worse at the front of the stage so I found that sweet spot 15 feet back in the zone where the speakers were pointed. 7/10 audio, it's no pk system but hey I don't mind too much! Louisahhh was stepping in and she had a super neat outfit going kind of future/madmax like. Her hair was excellent if I might add. I've always wanted to catch her set but never had the chance until now. I could say it was what I expected, which was basically the same set I've heard her play on other sets I heard from her. It's not a negative but mental gymnastics aside she could have spiced it up some more by playing new shit, like I said. I am just glad to be there.

After louisahhh played her set Boys Noize had stepped in and he opened up with that one song he always does lately lol I forget the name but let me tell you, my body was ready! The "wares" I had bought off Sam at the hostel were already used up but I didn't need any, my body was tingling from the energy in the room. I met the maddest group of lads in the crowd and I gave them a handful of stickers to help me distribute. They loved it! I was also doing "rogue" work by slapping stickers on people without them knowing. The funniest ones were the Dealer and Wasted stickers. The lazers and lights in this place were magnificent. Production was nearly top notch 7.8/10. it's a theatre but they used it as well as they could. I want to describe this experience more but going to a party is the purest chaos you can experience. It almost can't be explained, only witnessed. I honestly love being social at these events. In real life I can be very shy or unwilling to exchange or talk with others. It pains me really, I just love people and I want to make genuine friends but I feel so reluctant to meet new faces because I don't really click that well with others. I know that I am unique and sometimes strange, I am sometimes don't give a fuck but I tend to be antisocial because of paranoia that other people won't like me when they get to know the real me. When I attend rave parties, I tend to feel more free and open because I know the people in attendance are also there for the same reason I am. Obviously this may or may not be a healthy life style but it is very fulfilling in a very emotional way. I may not have that many real life friends but when on the dancefloor everyone is my friends lol that sounds like the gayest shit ever but it's true. Anyways party is still bumping and it's 6 am and I am wiped out, boys Noize played some of the best tracks I heard at awakenings I noticed. Kind of the same shit really. But it was LA so more mainstream crowd. I leave the club and it was so fucking foggy outside, like a horror movie. 2spooky4me. I hit up Uber like 4 blocks away because it was just too crazy in the front of the theatre. I got this younger driver about my age and we talked about McDonald's lol she was fun then I get back to the hostel hungry as fuck. Eated bread and smonked some herb and hit the hay.

Next morning I hung out in the common area. Watched friends and watched Champagne die from smoking weed lol he was my favorite. Cool hostel tbh very home like. I had few hours to myself before my flight so I decided I wanted to go to little Tokyo. I had to say goodbye to the hostel, the guys downstairs gave me a donut lol and I got into the Uber. The guy talked about the dodgers game like I actually give a heck about sports. He dropped me off at the entrance of Little Tokyo. This was actually the most wholesome part of my trip. The first sight of the Japanese style outside mall was kind of exhilarating because LA is mostly just the same everywhere. The buildings and decorations were very refreshing and it was a feast for the eyes. Such beauty. As I continue to explore the small but busy space I feel this feeling of wonder and excitement, it made me feel less hungover if I am being honest. The world I was seeing in that moment was powerfully moving and rich with happiness. I wanted to stay forever. In the centre there was an open space where an older Asian man in a scooter and an array of instrument s in front of him. He had a little sampler Casio and hi hats and maracas. It was like a scene out of the movies where you see those cute moments because he was playing to this couple from China that were standing in front of him and you can hear them talking to the Man in between singing lol, they gave him money to play that song from toy story "skies of blue" or whatever it's called and then at the end he pulled out the maracas and hit them on the cymbals with style. I filmed a little bit of it actually. I ended up eating sushi and chicken katsu outside on the deck and just enjoyed the experience. Alone. Fucking sad actually that I couldn't share my emotion with someone else but I really enjoyed the place. I shop in the anime store and gift shop, got a few things for friends and family then had to rush to the airport. I got to Union station and shuttle to the airport right on time. Slightly early since the flight changed to a later time. I walked around and had some beer and wings then got on the plane. Nice cozy airport experience. My dad picked me up and he was working in siksika that week so I slept in his trailer. It was cold as shit and I was late for work the next day like nothing ever happened lol. Just a quick weekend trip, no big deal. Travelling is so so so much fun, I want others to read or see my adventures and feel somewhat inspired to take more risks and go on their own adventures. Its good to open your eyes and free yourself of your surroundings, especially on the reserve. There's a world out there and there's more to life than the bullshit drama that happens here. I look at the world in wonder and amazement, I know it's a sick and sometimes dangerous place but I make it my world by appreciating it for what it is. Everything is kind of all right. Sometimes I wish I didn't exist but I don't want to die either, doing these things remind me that life can be great so I hope I don't come off braggy or I am acting "too good". I make minimum wage yet I still do all this cool stuff. It's not hard to do, just literally set your mind go and do it . I chase my dreams while others think "what if" lol but yeah do more fun shit guys!!!!

[livefreeordie13]

Day 5 (When November)

Day 5 of @souyoweek2018 “Together or Separate”

I basically did both. It was hard to choose! Also yeah I’m a day late I’m a loser.

Warnings: implied sexual activity | insecure boy | self-hate | mutual pining | cavities | Teddie

(When November)

Yosuke snapped his phone shut, frustratedly flipping a stray bang out of his eyes. He sighed. He hated when Yu didn’t pick up.

“What’s wrong, Yosuke?” Teddie asked with genuine concern - although, Yosuke wasn’t in the mood to be moved by it. Even when Teddie was being sweet his voice could reach impressively high levels of obnoxiousness.

“Nothing,” he groaned, a little more sharply than he intended.

Yosuke was being an ass. He knew he was. And yet, thinking that and knowing it was true somehow didn’t magically help. Just like trying to understand that his Tokyo boyfriend was busy about ninety-percent of the time didn’t help. Just like when Yosuke breathed and tried to remember all the important things - all the times Yu had told him he loved him, that this was only temporary, that he was always thinking of him and missing him. He believed him. Right? He definitely believed the guy he trusted more than anyone alive, more than anyone he’d ever known.

Definitely.

… Didn’t think Yu was getting sick of him.

Nope.

“Oh, Yosuke, don’t be sad. It’s 50¥ mushroom day at Junes! I wonder who will sell more today,” Teddie taunted, putting his hand to his chin in consideration. “Hm, will it be the lowly prince of disappointment, or will it be moi - the talented, fuzzy, and bear-markable Teddie?” He concluded by dramatically touching all of the fingertips on his right hand to his chest.

Yosuke stared at him in astonishment for several seconds. Finally, he sighed yet again and pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, unable to choose which part of his speech to pick apart first.

He had eventually settled on, “Just shut up, Ted,” when his phone vibrated to life in his hand.

It was Yu. He flipped the phone open immediately. “He~y, partner!” he sang, silently willing himself to control his own stupid voice.

“Hey, Yosuke,” came Yu’s calm, crisp voice on the other line. “Sorry I missed your call.” Yosuke was a touch relieved his partner actually sounded aggravated for a change.

“Aw, that’s okay, man. Don’t worry about it; I know you’re busy.” Teddie poked him and Yosuke shoved the boy away.

Yu seemed to hesitate before he responded. “Y-yeah, but still, I …”

Yosuke waited, and subconsciously held his breath when Yu sighed deeply.

“I hate missing your calls. They’re important to me.”

He swallowed, trying to smother the butterflies and get his voice to work. He was an idiot. Yep. Still an idiot after a year and half. Six months into dating Yu and he still had the nerve to doubt this guy? Well … okay, in Yosuke’s defense, it wasn’t exactly Yu he doubted.

“O-oh, well …” he mumbled, completely unsure how to respond to that. Should he make fun of him, or pick on himself? Should he try to flirt? “T-that’s, um …” He swallowed, muttering softly, “That’s nice to hear.”

Crap, he was being sentimental! He grimaced and hoped Yu didn’t pick up on the emotional twinge in his voice. He was in front of Teddie; he couldn’t deal with this right now.

Fortunately for him, Yu chuckled discreetly and changed the subject right away. “I was just talking to my parents. They said it was fine for me to come down in November for a few days.”

Yosuke’s heart leapt. “Really?!” He took a few steps away from the railing he’d been leaning against as though he were chasing those words. “That’s awesome! So you’ll be down for your birthday?”

“And Nanako’s.”

“Oh - yeah, right! Nanako-chan’s, too.” Yosuke laughed, blushing and turning his body away from Ted a little more so the boy wouldn’t see it. He barely caught Teddie shrugging and prancing off out of his peripheral.

“Happy to hear you’re excited. What kind of, um …” Yu trailed off, voice dropping quite low. Yosuke stepped forward again, hoping that would somehow allow him to hear better.

“W-what,” Yosuke laughed. He glanced around to place where Ted was and spotted him by the grill stand all the way across the food court. He wasn’t getting into his bear suit yet (although, he ought to be), but he looked pretty distracted.

He bit his lip as he waited for Yu to continue, his stomach beginning to twist up.

“What kind of present are you going to get me?” Yu’s voice was so low and muted Yosuke wasn’t sure if he’d even heard him correctly.

“‘Present’?”

“If it helps, I already know what I want.”

… Oh.

Yosuke’s face fell. His cheeks flushed and his heart immediately began pounding, the blood rushing towards various … extremities. Thank god Teddie was nowhere near him right now.

Yosuke tried to chuckle but it came out more like a jittery whine. “D-dude-”

“-Want me to tell you?” Dammit, how did Yu sound so composed right now?

Yosuke stilled and licked his lips.

“A fish.”

There was a long pause where Yosuke’s mind and Yosuke’s body weren’t in sync. One was confused, the other was extra confused.

“A fish.”

“Yeah. For the tabby outside Dojima’s. He’s still there, right?” Yu sounded like he might get worked up into a panic at that last sentence, so Yosuke rushed to reassure him.

“Y-yeah! Yeah, he is. I’ve been feeding him, partner, don’t worry.” He laughed and adjusted his clothes, his jacket. Even though it hadn’t been that hot out today, he found that he was sweating. He pulled at the collar of his v-neck to try to cool himself down. “Dammit, Yu …” he swore, a little ineffectually, but he hoped Yu understood him nonetheless.

“What? What did you think I was going to say?” Oh, Yu was not about to laugh!

“Sh-shut up! Jerk. You know I’m lonely over here.”

This time, Yu did laugh. “Well, I’m lonely, too,” he argued.

“I guess at least we’re lonely together, huh?”

He heard Yu take a measured breath and keep it. “Yeah,” he said, in a voice Yosuke had long ago figured out to be the one Yu used when he was trying to keep something from him, a hidden pain he couldn’t bear to expose. “Until November, right?”

He swallowed and tucked his hand under the arm he was using to hold the phone. “You bet.”

There was a comfortable silence between them until Yosuke continued.

“So what do you actually want for your birthday? I’m not sure a fish will do it, partner.”

“Hmm,” Yu’s voice hummed on the other end. It reverberated into the speaker and its soothing rumble made Yosuke’s heart whirl. He suppressed a shiver. Damn, he missed him way too much. “What if we just …”

Yu never finished his sentence, and Yosuke didn’t ask him to.

“… Yeah.” He smiled into the receiver and hoped Yu could tell, somehow. “Sounds good.”

fin

Epilogue:

“Yosuke~! It’s time for work!”

“Alright, already, I’m coming!!”

(I’m not really happy with the way this one turned out but like hell if I’m going to be TWO days behind.)

[lubdubsworld]

Tumblr prompts :

1. “Holy shit–you’re insane.”

2. “Try me. See what happens.”

3. “Roll your window down!”

4. “Don’t sleep with any lights on.”

5. “What’s with the spandex? On your way to a superhero convention or something?”

6. “You missed our session again. Is something going on with you?”

7. “Now would be the time to disappear.”

8. “Keep talking. No–really. I wanna hear this.”

9. “You’ll thank us later!”

10. “If you two don’t work things out, you’re gonna end up regretting it.”

11. “Bet you you can’t do that again!”

12. “This is weird. Even for us. And that says a lot.”

13. “Are you really allowing them to control you like that?”

14. “Your family is crazy–and here I thought mine was bad!”

15. “Stop! You’re gonna break it!”

16. “What the hell is your problem?”

17. “Are you for real right now? No jokes? One-hundred percent serious?”

18. “You know I’m colorblind, right?”

19. “What the hell–you’re supposed to be on my side, remember?!”

20. “If you don’t find the sign, you’re going in the wrong direction.”

21. “What are we doing here and why are you smiling like that?”

22. “You can’t be serious, can you?”

23. “You don’t seem to understand–I’d do anything for you. I’d die for you!”

24. “How can you be so calm right now?”

25. “Grab a mop and help me out–please?”

26. “This isn’t just your problem, it’s our problem!”

27. “Don’t you dare lie to me. Not about this.”

28. “Why are you so afraid of the truth?”

29. “I thought this would be easier.”

30. “Forever’s not nearly long enough.”

31. “I need more time. I’ll always need more time.”

32. “I don’t know what you expected me to be, but I’m not it. I’m sorry.”

33. “Find someone else to save the world–I’m done!”

34. “It may as well have been for as long as I suffered.”

35. “I can’t afford to lose myself in you.”

36. “Getting senile in your old age?”

37. “Careful–another compliment and that large head of his might explode.”

38. “Even sick you look like an angel.”

39. “How do you manage to look so good all the time? It’s unfair.”

40. “Hey–you need to calm down! Now!”

41. “You just really couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

42. “That was a bit dramatic for my taste but still admirable, I suppose.”

43. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you.”

44. “What am I supposed to tell the others?”

45. “Life is relatively simple–it’s you who makes things complicated.”

46. “That sounds like there’s some juicy gossip involved! … Spill!”

47. “When has fear ever stopped you?”

48. “You have no right to reprimand me after they way you’ve been acting.”

49. “I’m sorry–did you just compliment me? … Are you high?”

50. “How come no one remembers you?”

51. “Sometimes I think you’re only friends with me because of my dog.”

52. “Ew–reading? Save that for the nerds, nerd.”

53. “Would it kill you to eat something besides junk food?”

54. “So, uh, don’t get mad … I think I may be lost.”

55. “Cool tattoo–does it mean anything?”

56. “Do you promise to stay with me?”

57. “Time is nothing but a societal concept, my dude. Shit’s wack.”

58. “Who’s to say any of this is even real? For all we know we could just be the figment of someone’s imagination.”

59. “I think I just saw an . . . alien.”

60. “Can we please just stop pretending we hate each other for a second?”

61. “No amount of time spent with you will ever be enough.”

62. “You’re not allowed to be jealous! It’s not like we’re together–we never even were.”

63. “Why do you smell like weed?”

64. “Man–that thing really got you good, didn’t it? Does it hurt?”

65. “Here, let me. You can barely move–don’t bother trying.”

66. “Do you need help? Your hands look a little … busy.”

67. “Oh–shit! . . . I may or may not have just ripped my pants. Please help.”

68. “What’s so great about him, anyway, huh? What can he do that I can’t?”

69. “I know you’re out there. Why are you doing this to us?”

70. “I don’t know how it’s possible to love someone this much. It actually hurts.”

71. “Easy there, tiger! You might hurt yourself.”

72. “The next time I see you, you’re as good as dead.”

73. “Walk away now or else you’ll never walk again.”

74. “I wasn’t that bad, was I?”

75. “So what if you’re carrying a little extra? There’s just more of you to love, princess.”

76. “You really think I care about him? Hah! That’s hilarious.”

77. “God–it was just a date, alright? I didn’t even like them that much, anyway.”

78. “Look at what you did to yourself! Are you happy, now?”

79. “We get it–you’re edgy. Take it down a notch, eh?”

80. “Take a chill pill, your majesty.”

81. “Dammit, now that song’s stuck in my head.”

82. “Do we really need to fight, right now? I don’t have the energy.”

83. “How do I know you’re telling the truth? You could be trying to trick me, for all I know.”

84. “Wouldn’t it be nice to just, like, have a day off from all this crazy?”

85. “See you in Hell, bitch.”

86. “Till next time, gentlemen! It’s been a pleasure, I’m sure.”

87. “You act all tough but you’re not. I know you’re not.”

88. “I’m never moving again.”

89. “Can I marry my bed? I love my bed.”

90. “You seriously need a shower, dude.”

91. “What’re you doing here? Not that I’m not glad to see you! Just, uh–I thought you were leaving town.”

92. “Shut up and get in, already.”

93. “I am not obsessed! I’m just … very, very interested.”

94. “Boy, I can smell the crazy coming off of you from a mile away.”

95. “Whoops–sorry, wrong room!”

96. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you? Jerk!”

97. “When you talk about me you make it sound like I’m some kind of saint. You should know better than anyone I’m anything but.”

98. “So … that’s it? I imagined there’d be much more … fire.”

99. “Whatever–what would you know? You’re just drunk and spouting nonsense.”

100. “Sometimes I wish I could meet you all over again. Knowing what I do now, I wouldn’t waste my time trying so hard to push you away.”

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