#dude (my gil) basically got uprooted after doing the same (oversimplified i knowww)

[goldammerchen]

*is still avoiding making day 5* (*this will be queued for later*)

one of my projects (1/2 main ones) is going to be the end of me (Dx)

[TLDR: history interspersed with modern era psychological horror]

where do i even start. one of the reasons i make my pru begin with the order (instead of as baItic), besides straight up kinda make him cartoonish evil [/half-joking...], is to make the contrast deeper between the order/prussia and the freaking gd.r for fic reasons (so less contrast in other fics/ideas), and for gil to doubt if some of his changes are from being deleted then renamed, and/or remembering things different—perhaps wrongly—since being "reformulated".

in my version, when the common people from the pru.ssian tribes outlive the crusades, it includes the heta-people representatives (semi-unfortunately for gisel). some of the avatars join the order, others keep finding ways to continue antagonizing gil (esp the one that was THE baItic pr.ussia). but, over the years, each death, each resurrection, each reincarnation, changes them, making them forget. after the black death, nothing is ever the same as before (germani.zation + the mass death from the plague), aside some sort of atavistic dislike towards gil--who was younger than then during the crusades, so it was complex for all. at some point, at the end of his childhood, the fanatic kid began to understand the reality of his existence. without exchanging spoken words, he turned blind eye to the paganist rituals, while the prus.sians who joined the knights stepped forward to protect him when needed... all of this doesn't mean gil didn't think like a mf imperiaIist nationaIist during the xix century until the 19.18 rev, while later, as much as he somewhat begins to think things different during the post-war, he always liked the taste of revenge... [i'm gonna write the fic: enough explaining].

so, *the* teuto.nic order, *the* pr.ussian kingdom and subsequent incarnations, to the (in the most idealized version) internationaIist dd.r?? was the change of heart genuine, or the result from literally dying? nobody was really the same after the wars, yet somehow that's truer for him. how someone like him (and ivan) dare(d) to call themselves revoIutionaries...?

to this mess above, add gil in the modern days beginning to lose touch with his time perception. nothing is working how it should be, and isn't going away no matter what. he deals with the psychological horror bullshit mainly alone at first, until he can't hide it anymore from lud, his younger brother, who has mixed feelings towards his older brother (after everything). this brings another layer of psychological mess to the story, that develops further in the next part (including canondivergence).

i'd love to tag these with the title of the fic, but it ties with the ending. edit: #potatocest angst works for now.

[the other fic is a crossover, set right after the war, but the tone is different...]

edit 2: kinda moving some of the tags here. after years of daydreaming, i'm fond of my baItic pru oc + kaIinin... oc. but, those appear in *another* project that scares me lol (high expectations Dx). the dude (my gil) basically got uprooted after doing the same (oversimplified i know)