#dslfhgkjdfghljkfd

[vermiliondrug]

I detest the feeling of uselessness when the only thing you feel you’re good at is art and then you just cant “art”.

I’ve been trying for hours to draw, for days to make it work and for fucking weeks to make something that makes me feel proud. I know, you can get too used to looking at something and then look away for 2 secs and then you hate the drawing because you realize you’ve been trying to beat a dead horse.

Some artists give tips that say “just take a break and do some silly sketches! try something new!1 try this and that”!!1″ and honestly... It doesn’t help everyone. I know I need to work my way out of the artblock, I know that there are methods to get out of it and finally produce something, whether it is good or not, but I just cant sit and “try” to draw when I can’t be happy about what I am doing, I can’t just churn out 100′s of drawings through a week without noticing all the damned mistakes I do because I am selftaught and that I still have long to go to do it “better” and that I lack confidence in anything I do. I know that I can’t blame anyone else than myself for where I am when it comes to my art. It is my own damned fault that I can’t do what I want myself to be capable of, simply because I haven’t practiced enough or busted my ass hard enough to go there.

It all comes down to the fact that I have so very little energy to work on anything I enjoy, so little motivation because I barely have any friends to talk with, barely anyone to gush about OCs, video games and art in general. I have a friend whom I talk to about our OCs from time to time, but I can’t expect her to drop everything to give me the surge of energy and inspiration when I am in need the most. I only blame myself for having such social issues to not find friends to talk to.

anyway, i hate having an artblokc and feeling useless :’)