#dskgnklsdg i hope it makes sense & thank you so much for sending me this <3 i loved answering it

[cwarscars]

What kind of media provides inspiration for your muse (movies, music, comics, books, research)? How often do you try to search out new sources of inspiration, or does it happen more organically? How do you start drafting a reply- does it start with a concept, a phrase, or quote?

ASK ANYTHING YOU’D LIKE ABOUT MY CHARACTERIZATION OR HOW I PLAY MY CHARACTER.

( im SO SORRY i waffled but also, like - that first question in particular is really great and i've had such fun answering it! it has a lot of detail about my heid i think & i hope it makes some sense ! )

What kind of media provides inspiration for your muse (movies, music, comics, books, research)?

aw man, i am hugely inspired by films. primarily because i'm a total film fan ( me and my partner met studying film and he's, like, super into them ) - there are so many magnificent stories out there told on film & so many classics that i would implore people to watch as a means to get a grasp of certain subject matter or attitudes or even just story inspirations?

when it comes to heid; obviously i'm inspired a lot by war films ( one of my favourite genres actually ! ) - but, heid is a tough cookie because i sort of try to write him as being a mixture of 'war is hell' and 'i love war.' i see him a lot as being like colonel kilgore from apocalypse now ( if you've not seen it, i'm sure you know the 'i love the smell of napalm in the morning' ) but more-so, sergaent barnes from platoon.

platoon is actually one of my all-time-favourite films and barnes is VERY heid.

there's one scene in particular that resonates so hard with my portrayal ( or at least, how i hope to portray heid and it's here ). but it's where i get the quote from in my blog / carrd.

"Now, I got no fight with any man who does what he's told, but when he don't, the machine breaks down. And when the machine breaks down, we break down. And I ain't gonna allow that in any of you. Not one."

otherwise ( and in terms of war films ) - i take inspiration from rambo and the rant that he has during that film. this is more for young heidegger than it is older. like, i headcanon he essentially had a break down in his mid 20s and THIS is very much what it was like.

"Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off! It wasn't my war! You asked me, I didn't ask you! And I did what I had to do to win! But somebody wouldn't let us win! And I come back to the world and I see all those maggots at the airport, protesting me, spitting. Calling me baby killer and all kinds of vile crap! Who are they to protest me? Who are they? Unless they've been me and been there and know what the hell they're yelling about!"

also, as a side-note ; the part where he sits on the floor sobbing saying 'where are they all?', 'where are they?' - that fucking hits /hard/ and just, urgh. i'd seriously say watch the entire scene because it's so sad but exactly how i see heid as a young guy and is partially why he's so fucking mean now. ( it's also why i want to explore young heid so badly )

another thing i wanted to mention are the samurai films i've been watching. i haven't watched a lot and most focus on samurai being good / or at least morally grey. but sword of doom really resonated with my portrayal; primarily because the lead is essentially seen as a walking sword of death ( he's despised by like, everybody and isn't a particularly nice person ). there's a scene where he witnesses a master swordsman cut down his entire crew and he just stands there half in awe and half in fear.

i read somebody suggest that the lead character is sadistic and essentially, his sword is his penis - to see somebody 'outperform him' & thus have him scared, renders him impotent.

it really resonated with how i see heid & i know that might sound silly but i love the idea of that being how he was first introduced to godo. the scene can be found here ( warning; blood / i uploaded the clip just for this lol )

& on the same note as 'sword of doom' - the scene at the end ( spoiler ) features the lead essentially go on an insane rampage fuelled by being literally haunted by the people he's killed & urgh, i could just /see/ that happening to heid.

How often do you try to search out new sources of inspiration, or does it happen more organically?

it tends to happen more organically - though i do love watching new films for inspiration! i like to seek out war films, samurai films, films with older casts. i've also been delving into a lot of the more classical kinda of films now, too! like, i watched casablanca not long ago and loved that! i see those films as being kind of heid-y. not necessarily in mood but like, i couldn't compare him to a modern flick ( if that makes any degree of sense ).

How do you start drafting a reply- does it start with a concept, a phrase, or quote?

when it comes to a thread reply; i try my best to make the response as natural as possible. like, if the other character is doing a variety of things - i'll have heid respond in a way that feels natural, rather than a step by step process of answering each sentence written.

when it comes to writing a starter or an ask - i'll usually type up heid's initial dialogue and then let the words flow from there. generally, once i get an idea / concept; i can flow pretty well - im a total 'wing it' kinda person.