#dry socket ): help ): im going to have a fit

[autoneurotic]

i am so fucking scared of dry socket with this tooooooth omg. but i’m over 72 hours in and like. my gum is white-ish and the hole is soooo small, there’s defo a little tiny blood clot in there. i know i can stop worrying if it hasnt developed after 5 days but ahh! it sounds and looks HORRIFYING

[irradiatedsnakes]

Hey dude! Someone in a discord server found a bird skull and foot (they think it's an eider duck), and was wondering how to go about cleaning them. Do you have any tips?

ohhh, very cool!! absolutely i do, here's a copypaste of a writeup i did over discord messages a billion years ago for a friend:

firstly: the book vulture culture 101 is spectacular and a comprehensive resource on like, all of this stuff. the ebook's like $10usd. however heres how i go from whole animal or raw skull to bright n shiny clean skulls:

-if your specimen is whole/still has skin and fur, skinning them will save you a lot of time and hassle. takes less time to decompose, and you won't have huge globs of fur in the way (keratin takes much longer to decompose than flesh!)

-if your specimen is now skinned but has all of its meats, you can speed up the process somewhat by.. i cant remeber the word, but basically cutting the big chunks of flesh (like the cheek area) away from the bone. this i totally optional though i almost never do it myself, it just lower the volume of meat that needs to decompose

-now ok. youve got your bones with flesh on them, or maybe you found some nature-cleaned bones that still have some bits and bobs on em. if it's the latter, you might just be able to soak it for a day or two and then pull off any remaining dried bits with tweezers or your fingers (or needlenose pliers. much stronger) and then go onto whitening, but if there's still a substantial amount of flesh:

-find a container with a lid that is big enough to comfortably hold your specimen. i use a storage bin, but depending on how small your specimen is you can use, like, a tupperware container.

-find a space outside where a smell isn't gonna be a big deal. even with a closed lid, there'll usually be a few feet radius that radiate some death rot smell. also, might wanna see if you can keep it protected in some way, especially if you have turkey vultures or other smell-hunting vultures (or other scent-hunting carrion eaters) around. ive had vultures try to break into my bins multiple times! a good sturdy closing lid keeps em out though

-place your specimen into the container, and fill it up with water. you can fill it up enough to cover the specimen entirely, but also, if you have a particularly fleshy specimen you can make the water go up almost all the way to the top, and then leave the lid off your bin for a couple hours (if you know nothing will snatch your specimen! might wanna like, babysit it) to allow flies to lay eggs. maggots will speed up the process a bunch! but either way, place the lid on your container and put it in the safe place. oh! and preferably, you want it somewhere warm, like in the sun.

-now you just wait! this method, maceration, takes a long time! but it produces the best quality bones. now, this step will vary on time based on how much you have to decompose and how hot it is (and whether you have maggot help or not), but heat's the biggest deciding factor. this process works by decomposer bacteria eating up all the flesh, and they work best in the heat! if you're doing this in late fall or winter, prepare to wait til summer arrives for any process. if you're in the height of summer, it might only take two weeks! but either way, youre gonna leave this out for weeks.

-basically depending on the heat, check it when you think its done. you'll know its done by the lack of flesh. the bone might still look dirty- they often become stained weird colors in this part. it's no big deal, it'll go away in the next step. also, teeth will fall out now, because theres little no no soft tissue keeping them in place. thats fine, just keep track of them! pay very close attention to when you pour out the water. incisors are so easy to lose. (also the rotwater is great fertilizer!)

-ok! so it's a couple months later and you have a fleshless skull (or whatever other bones) but it's very stinky and not clean. firstly youre gonna wanna give it a rinse (outside. don't bring this into your home yet. it smells like rot) very carefully, as not to lose any teeth.

-you want another container big enough for your specimen, now. can be the same container if you clean it out very well, but i prefer to have dedicated rot buckets. you may need to degrease your specimen, or you can move straight to whitening.

-how do you know if you need to degrease? fatty substances in the flesh can be present in the bone, as grease. this will discolor certain parts of the bone (or rarely, all of it) and make those areas look yellowed and sort of oily. if it's just a spot or two and the discoloration doesn't bother you, you don't have to remove it. but if it's a substantial amount it's gonna make the bone look dirty, and in high amounts can also stink. not a rot stink, it's not nearly that bad, but a sort of musty smell.

-grease in the bone is most common in especially fatty animals. anything domestic is likely to have grease, as are very fatty animals like raccoons (raccoons have SO much fat. i skinned one once and its like, ridiculously big layer of fat under their skin.). ive personally had grease problems with coyotes and felines.

-to degrease, you need that container again, and some dish soap! preferably the clear stuff, you don't want to end up staining the specimen. put your specimen in the container and fill it up with water so its covered, and pour some dish soap in there. swish it round so its all mixed in, and put the container back in the warm spot. this process is also heat dependent!

-now you wait again. every two or so weeks, check, and maybe change out the water and soap. your judgement as to when its done. basically you just want those greasy spots gone when the specimens dry!

-next up is WHITENING! this is where you START if you have an already fleshless specimen! all you need for this one is hydrogen peroxide, the 3% stuff you can get cheap at any drug or grocery store. ive found that due to pandemic reasons the peroxide supply at a lot of places has been depleted, but it's mmmostly better by now. you still might have some trouble finding it.

-put your specimen in the container and fill with peroxide enough to cover it. it'll probably start fizzing! the peroxide reacts with organic bits like microscopic amounts of grease in the bone and like, cleans it out. leave it in for a few days to a week, then check.

-if it's still too yellow for your tastes, change out the peroxide and leave it in for another few days. (note, the bone will be more yellow when it's wet- it gets whiter as it dries) if it's white to your liking, take it out, and leave it on a paper towel to dry.

-once dry, you can glue your teeth back in. i use hot glue most of the time, because its very forgiving and easy to undo, but note that if you ever plan on putting the specimen into water again like to degrease it in the future, you might wanna use something like superglue instead. just be...very cautious of mistakes. once i put in my otter's canine tooth backwards. like, tip in the socket, root facing outwards. always do a test fit right before you put the glue on, so you know youve got the angle right so you can put it in right, before the glue dries. also, you only need a TINY bit of glue per tooth.

plus bird feet, depending on how fatty/fleshy they are, can also be dried by posing them and burying them in borax for a while! i do that to preserve chicken feet without skeletonizing them.

i would also ask them to make sure that their collection of this bird is legal- im pretty sure in places where the migratory bird treaty act applies (usa, canada, mexico, japan, and russia) eiders are protected, and as such owning their parts is illegal and can carry a very hefty fine. should be fine in europe, though, to my knowledge. eiders have a huuuge range :P

[vergilsangel]

Sacrificial Lamb

A/N: I cannot stress enough how grateful I am to everyone who follows me. You all are absolutely amazing and I love each and every one of you! 

Summary: Vergil is trying to claim the power of Sparda, but he needs a human sacrifice to do so. Arkham chose a woman to be the sacrifice, but her behavior towards death is quite curious to Vergil. How does he react when he learns this woman WANTS to die?

Rating: M Warnings: Mentions of suicide, character with suicidal tendencies. Rating it M because of this.

Tagging: @blindedstarlight @catsorfries @fantasy-emblem-xv @whatanodyssey

If you wish to be tagged just send me an ask with your username or send me an IM! ^.^

Requests are open! If you want a head canon for FFXV or Devil May Cry (not the reboot) send me an ask!!

Also please check out my Patreon account and my Ko-Fi account!

Trish put the last dish away and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, her long brown hair done in a bun to keep out of the way of her job. With the last customers out the door and the dishes all done, her shift was ended. Her blue eyes went to the clock and she noted how late it was. Maybe after she got home and showered, she would read a book until she fell asleep. Someone patted her shoulder making her look. Her friend and coworker, Stephanie, gave her a smirk. Stephanie had blonde hair done in a pixie cut. Her green eyes sparkled as she smiled at her friend.

“Hey! So, any plans tonight? Me and the guys are going to go get drinks over at Lucky’s Tavern, want to come?” Stephanie asked this of Trish every time they worked together and Trish had yet to agree. After the first couple times, she had gone with the blonde, but after that, she felt like a third wheel and quit going.

“Sorry, no, I have some chores at home to get done.” Trish replied, drying her hands. Stephanie pouted at her answer and Trish knew what was coming next. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Stephanie’s company, it was just every time she went out, she felt out of place.

“Come on. You’ll have a lot of fun. You always say ‘no’ but this time, I’m MAKING you come with me! Maybe you’ll meet a nice guy and hit it off? Come on, Trish, you’re in that apartment all by yourself and it’s just sad you aren’t enjoying life like the rest of us!” Stephanie argued. Trish sighed, knowing the other girl had a point. Maybe one drink wouldn’t hurt.

“Fine. One drink.” Stephanie cheered and hugged her.

“Yes! You’re the best! Hurry! Let’s go get ready!” Stephanie said and tugged Trish after her. Trish followed the blonde to the bathroom where she used a paper towel to wipe her face off. She had never been one for make-up and times like these, she was grateful for it. Maybe tonight she could forget everything else going on. Maybe tonight would be a turning point.

After everything was finished and locked up, Trish followed Stephanie to a cab. At the tavern, Trish followed her friend to the bar and watched her flirt with their male coworkers. Trish really didn’t care though. None of them were her type anyway. She finished her drink and watched as Stephanie and the boys talked, feeling like it wouldn’t have mattered if she came or not. The other patrons of the bar seemed fixated on their companions and Trish felt very out of place.

A small part of her wondered if Stephanie invited her out of guilt. Because Trish didn’t fit in very well, she distanced herself from everyone else. Stephanie had made it her goal to include Trish in other things, but Trish couldn’t help but feel as though it was forced. Trish knew that the blonde would deny it if she asked, but deep down, she knew Stephanie was only being kind to her.

Once her drink was paid for, Trish quietly slipped away and called a cab to go home, not noticing the man with two different colored eyes watching her. As the city passed by the window, she couldn’t help but feel like she didn’t belong. The world had been against her from day one and no matter how hard she tried to fight it, she was losing the battle. After her accident a year ago, she felt even more cut off. All the dreams she had for herself had gone up in smoke since she moved here. Her confidence shattered, she had taken a job as a waitress at the local restaurant. Sometimes, however, her job needed her to do the dishes since the manager refused to hire a dishwasher. All the waitresses took shifts washing them, but it cut into their tips.

Once she was home, Trish paid the cab and went upstairs to her apartment. Her empty apartment. She had been engaged at one time, but after Trish caught him cheating with a coworker, she had kicked him out and ended the engagement. After her accident, she hadn’t had much interest in finding someone new. For a time, she thought of getting a pet of some kind, but with all the hours she put in at work, she didn’t have time to care for it.

“It was definitely a mistake going out.” She muttered as she kicked off her shoes. As if she didn’t already feel awful enough, the thoughts of jealousy crept in. Stephanie had guys fawning over her hand and foot while Trish was just there. Even though she didn’t want to find anyone, she still missed being flirted with. Her life was insignificant compared to those around her and anymore she was starting to accept it. She felt as though she were a burden on those around her so she did everything she could to avoid contact. Letting out a heavy sigh, she went to her bathroom to clean up. She showered and redressed in a t-shirt and gray sweatpants before grabbing her depression meds and heading to the kitchen.

“Just great.” She muttered as she gazed at her expired milk. Now how was she going to take her meds? The tap water was too metallic to her. She could skip, but this would be the second day she hadn’t taken them. Giving a sigh of defeat, she grabbed her wallet, changed to a long-sleeved shirt, and slipped her shoes back on. Her hand reached for the knob, but she stopped, getting the sense that she was no longer alone. The hair on her neck raised and instantly she knew something was wrong. Before she had time to turn around however, she was grabbed from behind and knocked out, her wallet and keys dropping on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vergil stood on the top of Temen-ni-gru, Yamato clutched tightly in his hands. Arkham was late and he was losing patience. They had almost everything they needed, but Arkham had said he needed to retrieve one more key before they could unleash the power of Sparda, Vergil’s father.

Arkham had come to him several weeks ago when Vergil had been in the library looking through old legends. Vergil hadn’t trusted the man then, but his insight into gaining the power of his father intrigued him. Perhaps Arkham could be useful to him, at least that’s what Vergil hoped. So far, everything he had said had been true and if it all went well, Vergil would have more power than he could imagine. Footsteps met his ears and Vergil looked over his shoulder.

“Arkham, did you get what we needed?” Vergil asked.

“Indeed, I did.” Arkham replied, tossing Trish onto the ground. Trish came to and held her throbbing head as Vergil turned and raised an eyebrow.

“A woman?” Vergil asked and Arkham nodded. Trish heard the voice and sat up, trying to remember everything that happened. Slowly piecing it all together through the cobwebs in her brain

“We will require quite a bit of human blood to unlock the seal so I brought a sacrifice.” Arkham responded. A sacrifice? Everything clicked together and Trish’s eyes widened. That’s right! She had been taken, but how had he gotten in? Her blue eyes looked up into the silver eyes of Vergil and she felt her heart skip a beat.

“She won’t be missed. I’ve watched her all day, she has little to no connection to those around her.” Trish felt fury at his words, but also pain as she knew they were true.

“It won’t matter if she had connections or not. Anyone who came looking for her would only end up dead.” Trish felt a cold chill rush through her. What was going on? Where was she? A demon sprang up behind Vergil and howled. It’s face and hands were skeletal, one of the sockets was empty, but the other glowed with a blue light. Its black robes flowed about it and Trish was reminded of a grim reaper. The demon seemed to be groveling to Vergil, but he wasn’t paying attention to it. Instead, his eyes were focused on the woman kneeling before him.

“What is your name, woman?” He asked.

“Trish. Trish Uesugi.” Trish answered and the demon behind Vergil groaned. Quick as a flash, Vergil had drawn his sword, twirled it, then sliced it down. The demon behind him jerked and quit making any noise as Vergil slowly sheathed his sword once more. Once it clicked into place, the demon fell apart behind him. Trish’s eyes widened as she watched the pieces fall off the tower, Vergil’s eyes never leaving her. He used the end of Yamato to turn her head towards him again, his eyes locked with hers.

“Trish, you are going to be our sacrifice. I need the power of my father, Sparda, and I need your blood to do it. As you can see, I have no reservations of killing. Don’t try to run away, you won’t get very far. I need your blood, I don’t need you in pristine condition to make that happen.” Vergil warned. He expected fear or sadness at his words, maybe even resignation, but was surprised when he saw none. Instead, he saw relief and this piqued his curiosity.

“I understand. I won’t run.” Trish said and Vergil nodded.

“Now, we wait. There is one final piece I need to unlock the seal and my brother is bringing it. Relish in these last few hours, they will be your last.” Vergil said and turned to overlook the city once more. Trish slowly got to her feet and looked out, not recognizing the city at all. Just how far had she come? It must’ve been quite a ways since the sun was just starting to set and the lights of the city were coming on. But despite the view and the many questions she had, she couldn’t help but smile. Finally. Finally, the pain would end.

Finally, she could die.

[tanzrielle]

Rebirth

This one is a little darker than usual i think, so im putting it under a readmore. It’s how Xerxes became Xerxes.

Cold.

Dark.

The corner of this prison cell was the only comfort Xerxes had. His white and gold robes were torn and bloodstained. A cloth wrapped around eyes that hadn’t seen in weeks. Long auburn hair was tangled and turning gray as it spilled over his shoulders and hid his face. He was mumbling.

Incoherent whimpers.

Who was he again?

Was this real? He couldn’t see. Was this a nightmare? His head throbbed in agony as he tried to piece together what led to him being here. Frustration only made it worse as everything kept slipping from him.  His hands shakily moved to hold his head, to which they met the cloth.

And it all came back to him.

Again.

He screamed in horror and agony as the memories of what happened flooded back. He could feel it all over again, the mental torment, the physical torture. His eyes were covered because those  Twilight cultists, the ones who captured him, tore them out. He could feel those cold, plated fingers digging into his eye sockets to pull out his eyes.

It was happening all over again.

For the millionth time in the past three weeks of his being in this cell.

He didn’t even realize that his eyes were alright.

He screamed, begged, wept, all into the darkness of the cell. He writhed and thrashed as he felt the constant removal of fingers and toes. They wanted him to break, so they always healed his injuries, but left the pain. They wanted him to submit, become a mindless slave. They forced him to watch as they took him apart, then went for his eyes. Memories from past physical traumas emerged as well. They reminded him of everything he had been through up until this moment. His mind was in pieces.

All he could do in this cell was cry and beg for mercy. For it to stop.

Stop hurting Alia.

Stop hurting Leostrasza.

Stop hurting him.

He couldn’t stop it. He dug his nails into his head as he kicked at unseen tormentors. Eventually he would tire himself out. Often times a small team would come down to sedate him so he would rest. Sometimes one person came down to try and put him back together.

But the damage was done.

His mind would always reset after each day, after each temporal slumber. He couldn’t keep it together. He didn’t want to accept these memories. He often cried out for help, only becoming more hysterical when nobody came.

His current fit came to a slow stop as he lost his voice again. He lay still as he let his body rest. Something....Clicked, however. He became more aware. This cloth....Was itchy. Annoying. Whimpering, he reached for the cloth again. He pushed it off his face, exposing his tired green eyes, soaked in tears.

It was dark, but the torches on the wall lit the dungeon. He was the only one here. These were stone walls. The memories had him bound to a chair in a Twilight’s Hammer encampment. They didn’t have big stone walls and metal bars....

He was on the floor.

He was in one piece.

He was getting a small grip on the chaotic mess of his mind. He wasn’t in a Twilight Camp. So where was he? Fear and uncertainty took hold as he continued to cry quietly. He kept himself focused.

He was okay.

He was in one piece.

Nobody was hurting him.

He was safe.

He repeated these thoughts over and over until everything else was blotted out. He relaxed, pulling his robes close. He was cold. He felt his stomach growl. His throat was dry.

Had he been left down here to die- No.

He remembered.

He kept...Refusing food.

Everything was coming back.

He heard footsteps approaching. They didn’t... Alarm him. Perhaps he was too exhausted to feel it. He watched as a paladin entered his cell and carefully sat by him.

“I see you finally removed that dirty rag.” He said.

Xerxes looked at him. His voice was familiar. “Who are you?” He asked softly.

“I’m Noa Royston.” Noa replied. “I’ve been trying to help you recover.”

Xerxes remained quiet as he thought. He wanted to introduce himself- What was his name again? His eyes began to water again. “I c.....I can’t remember my name...” He whimpered.

“Your name is Xerxes Jasper.”

Xerxes gasped in realization. More memories came back, ones from various places in his life. He was finally getting a grip.

“I....I’m a priest...” He mumbled. “ I help people...” He went on. At the mention of people, he thought of those he knew, his thoughts pieced together the memory of Alphonse. He was hurt too.

“W-where is Alphonse...?” He whimpered.

“Alphonse is alright. He’s recovered and gone back out into the field.” Noa said. “He brought you back from the Twilight camp with him. Do you remember?”

“Y-yes...I...I remember.......Why am I a priest...?” He responded. His memories told him he was a priest. “W-wait...I... I remember....”

Noa watched calmly as Xerxes put himself back together for the next ten minutes. He began to grow concerned as Xerxes expression soured. He watched as he sat up, brushing his hair out of his face. He waited for Xerxes to speak first, but he noticed his demeanor changing.

“They...Always said I was gifted.” Xerxes spoke. “They lied.”

“What did they lie about?” Noa asked.

“They always praised me for my ability to use the Light...I did so well in school, I was at the top of my class.... But they lied.” Xerxes said. “No....They didn’t lie....”

Noa frowned. He wasn’t sure where Xerxes was going.

“The Light abandoned me.”

“No, Xerxes-” Noa tried to interject, but Xerxes wouldn’t have it.

“THE LIGHT ABANDONED ME!!!” He shrieked angrily and began to weep again. “ Am I not good enough!? All I wanted to do was make sure people didn’t die! I just wanted people to be okay! But no... It ABANDONED ME.”

“Xerxes-”

“I’m useless. I mean nothing to nobody. I have no family. No home....I have nothing. Even my dreams have broken. The world just....Wants me to break, doesn’t it?”

Noa only remained quiet.

“But I wont. I wont break. I don’t want to...S-so maybe I Should...A-approach things differently...”

“Such as?” Noa asked quietly.

Xerxes looked up at him wearily. “Alphonse didn’t rescue me. I rescued myself.” He said.

“How so?”

“I took what little I knew of the Void...And went a little deeper. I killed my captors. I broke them. I made them cry.”

“Xerxes...” Noa said with concern.

“Don’t pity me. I can’t heal anyone, so I’ll just kill whoever wants to hurt someone instead.”

“Don’t delve into magic you don’t understand.”

“Don’t PATRONIZE ME.”

“I’m not trying to. I’m trying to warn you.”

“The world has no problem hurting me. It’s not a place for the weak and helpless... So I’ll become something more. I have been stepped on and broken enough. All of what I gained...I have lost. I have nothing. Nothing to lose.”

“Don’t do it, Xerxes.”

“Why, because you don’t approve? Because it’s not the path you walk? The Light has done nothing but leave me broken and others dead. So if I can’t protect and heal, then I will make my enemies SCREAM, LIKE I HAVE.”

Noa remained silent, and Xerxes glared at him, resolute in his goal. Eventually, after a long silence, Noa sighed. “ You aren’t well, Xerxes.”

“I’m perfectly fine. I’ve accepted all of what has happened to me...It’s in the past. I need to...M-move on...”

“I don’t have the authority to let you leave, you know that, right?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll leave when they let me. And when I do, don’t look for me. I’m not the same person you may have known. That person is dead, and never coming back.”

“He doesn’t have to be, Xerxes.”

“Nobody has to die, but they do anyways.” Xerxes said. “Whether we want them to or not.”

Noa sighed and rose to his feet. “ I’ll leave you to it then, Xerxes.”

“Okay.”

Noa turned and left the cell, and Xerxes’ expression soured again. Noa thought he was still insane. He was fine. His mind had pieced itself back together, and his choice was concrete.

If he couldn’t walk in the light, then he would walk in the shadows.

[kpurereactions]

Im Here | Pt 1

A/N: So tomorrow i will be going under the knife for a much needed, much delayed neck surgery, So this will probably be one of my last posts for a week or two. Im prewriting a few things so if you see my name thats why, ill be resting though. Admin Fallen and Ru-Ri will be taking over, but i promise ill be monitoring things and possibly hopping on to talk to you guys every once in a while. 

I love you all so so so so so much, Kitty

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

Rating: Drama, Angst, Smut, Fluff WARNINGS: Language, Eventual Violence, Lots of Smut Later on

Part | Prologue | 1 |  2 | 3 |

“You want to prove your loyalty to me. Hit her.”

Your eyes clenched and you bit your bottom lip. Out of all the things BamBam has done you couldn’t ever see him hitting you. You were half convince he wouldn’t until the sound of footsteps approaching you made you snap your head up. BamBam looked at you emotionless, one fist pressed hard into another. Your eyes began to dart and your bottom lip tremble. Your head shook and you started to squirm, his name coming from your lips in a soft and desperate way.

Once again he pressed his lips together before looking over to Pavliukov, who nodded. Your eyes darted back to BamBam who nodded once, clenched is jaw and then swung.

You sat up straight in bed, Your chest heaving and tears running down your cheeks. This always happened when you spent the night away from Jaebum, but with the amount of time you were spending way from your family you had to give them as much as a weekend every once in a while. 

With your hands balled into fists you pressed them into your eye sockets, counting to yourself as you inhaled and exhaled, something Jaebum had you do when the terrors snuck up on you. A sticky groan left your voice when you finally caught your breath and you sniffled into the back of your hand. It always made you hate yourself with how weak you got. 

You let your bare feet hit the wood of your childhood bedroom and your hands instantly went to your house coat you kept on the nob of the door. Well, Jaebum’s. Since your parents still didnt know about your relationship with him he couldn't come with you. So his thin, dark blue robe was the easiest way to bring him along. You sighed deeply again and wiped your face one last time before opening the door and heading down to the kitchen. 

Coffee. You thought. That was all you needed right now, but as you made your way to the kitchen the sound of voices made you slow down. Even stop to think about whether you wanted to deal with your family for the next half hour you'd be there. 

“Good morning honey!” You mom called as you walked slowly into the kitchen. 

“Morning mom.” You sniffled, your voice still really sticky. 

“Oh, darling. Were you crying? You look awful!” She said setting a full cup down in front of you. 

“No, I think I'm getting sick and I wasn't able to sleep all night.” You lied. 

“Should you go into work today?” Your dad now chimed in. 

“Its fine, one of the guys is probably the reason I'm sick. Its their own fault. But I’ll take precautions.” You said smiling sadly at them before reaching into the draw that was in front of you to grab a handful of plastic gloves and masks. 

The next thirty minutes seemed to drag on before Yugyeom and Jackson were showing up to your door with bright smiles. 

“Another nightmare?” Yugyeom whispered into your ear as your mother hugged both boys and handed them the ‘extra’ sides she always seemed to have for them. 

“Do I look that bad?” You asked pulling the mask down slightly so your words weren't too muffled. 

You chuckled lightly as he smiled and held his fore finger and thumb up to indicate a little bit. 

The car ride back to the house was quiet, not that there was rally anything to be said since the only exciting thing that happened was your nightmare of BamBam once again beating you up. You couldn't help but smile though. The longer you were in the car the closer you got to jaebum and you couldn't wait to  wrap your arms around his waist and bury your nose into his chest. 

Your smile widened as you rolled up to the house. It was Christmas time and you threw a small fit just to make Jaebum laugh the other day about there not being any decorations anywhere. Or at least there wasn't. The large house was now decorated with soft white lights around every window and a large christmas tree that had yet to be decorated sat in the front window.

“You guys were busy.” You teased, imagining how much they must have complained about being made to do this. 

“You actually think Jaebum let us do this? No, he hired someone.” Jackson said making you chuckle. 

Just like every time you returned home everyone seemed to be waiting for you. The moment you walked through the door you pulled the mask off and held your arms out to walk into Jaebums chest. He held you tightly, the feeling of his lips pressing repeatedly over the top of your head making you take a deep breath in and relax.

“Boys said you had another rough night.” Jaebum said, the other boys who had smiled and waved at you once you looked up shifted slightly as you nodded. 

“The usual BamBam and his fists.” You tried to say nonchalantly so no one would think you woke up in tears, but the way they all shifted uncomfortably and looked at one another you could tell they knew better than to believe your attitude.

“Don't worry, it only happens when I’m away from you guys.” You said pinching Youngjaes cheek as you walked past him and into the kitchen, tossing your coat off to the side for one of them to catch. But no one laughed this time you did it. 

You waited a minute for them to follow you into the kitchen but no one seemed to be coming. So you called out asking what they wanted. Still no answer. Wiping your freshly washed hands on your apron you walked back out to the foyer to see them all huddled around talking in hushed tones, Jaebum trying to yell at them as quietly as possible. 

“Um, guys?” You said raising an eyebrow, laughing slightly as they all jumped and turned your way. “What did you guys want for brunch?

It didnt take you long to make the same Omelette you made every morning you came back from your families house. The conversation in the kitchen was light, thankfully nothing to big seemed to have happened over the weekend. Usually the boys bombarded you with conversations about who did what and who said this. It was strange, but not that strange. You were just happy to be home. 

With breakfast done for everyone you realized you had still yet to go to the bathroom that morning, so with a quick peck to Jaebums cheek you excused yourself and ran into the nearest toilet.

Your mind was blank, all the troubles of the morning had seemed to wash away as you patted your face dry, you did look a little rough from this morning, but it was all okay. There was no one there to-

Pressed up against the wall right outside the bathroom door was a crumpled piece of red cloth. You rubbed your hands together once and looked down the hallway before bending down, your heartbeat increasing quickly as you got closer to it. You reached out a slightly shaking hand to take ahold of it, why you were shaking you didnt know.

But then you flipped it over and smoothed it out. 

In airy script a black B.B was sewn into the soft blood red material. You breath quickened as you looked at it, who could this belong to? Definitely not...

Even the thought of the possibility made it feel like 1000 pounds had just been dropped on your chest. There was no way this belonged to him, but how could it not? Anger then started to rise in you. How could they keep something like this in the house? After everything he did to betray them, how could they keep something like just lying around for you to see. 

Tears started to run down your face as you tried to pull it apart, the smell of his cologne fresh on the material making your heat beat faster as panic began to set in. You were on your knees now, one hand propping yourself up as  everything began to go week, The sound of your breaking bones echoing in the back of your mind as the disgusted looking face of BamBam you got through glimps as his punched you to black out flooded the backs of your eye lids. 

Your breathing became staggered and loud as the oxygen left your body due to the panic that had set in. You were able to rock yourself back till your body pressed against the wall. Your arms wrapped around your now bent knees and your head tucked between them as you tried to talk yourself down, the pocket square still clenched in your fist. 

It wasn't working. The more you breathed the harder it got to suck air into your throat. Your mind screamed and your body shook until you were able to get one loud gasp out of your body, finally allowing air to run to your brain. 

You could hear your name being called from down the hall. It was feint due to the pressing feeling in your brain, but you could hear it and soon the feeling of someones arms wrapping tightly around you and a much louder ‘Jaebum!’ could be heard. 

“Bam..” You hiccuped though the tears. His fingers traced over your swollen jaw before Pavliukov voice brought you two back.

“Why you protect? Huh! Who side you on?” He yelled and even though you couldn’t see him you knew that there was spit flying out of his mouth.

“Im not protecting anything other than you. If you were to continue you’d be dead.” He said with a stern look.

“You’re on our side? Prove it then.” He growled and soon BamBam was standing up to come eye to eye with Pavliukov.

You whimpered as Pavliukov threw instructions at his men and you were soon being yanked up and thrown into a chair, a painful yell running through you as your hair was bing used as a leaver to pull you up. You bore your teeth in almost a triumphant way as you watched BamBam press his lips together, obviously uncomfortable with the way you were being treated.

“You think you can tell me what to do? You think because you brought me this you can tell me what to do?” He said, his voice getting louder and louder with every word.

“And I’m the reason your plan will work so the least you can do is respect me when I say Enough.” BamBam said standing taller.

“Fine. If I can’t relieve myself, Ill just have to relieve myself.” He said before swinging around and landing a punch in your stomach causing you to lurch forward. Before you could groan another blow was sent into the sore corner of your jaw.

You cried out and coughed blood again and in hope that it would make them leave you alone you let your eyes flutter shut and your head roll forward.

“You want to prove your loyalty to me. Hit her.”

"I thought I told you she wasn't fucking ready!” You heard Jaebum quietly yell. Your eyes softly fluttered open to see his back to you and his nose practically against Marks as he yelled at both him and Jackson. 

“We didnt say anything, Boss!” Jackson softly yelled back. 

“She found this, you IDIOT!.” He yelled a bit louder making you close your eyes again, your heart starting to beat again a little too fast. “Which means you brought him here!”

Your eyes snapped open. He was here? He was alive? You tried to sit up but the pressure on your chest of being swaddled in the blankets surrounding you made it hard to move and your heart to explode again. 

“Jaebum!” You softly whimpered trying to get loose. 

You watched as his face drained, knowing you had heard him. In stead of letting  it get to him he released you from the blankets and helped you sit up, taking your cheeks between his hands softly, instantly calming you down. 

“Out.” He said softly to the two boys, his head cocking along with the motion. 

“Come here.” He whispered once they left.

His shoes slipped off and he crawled into the bed with you, pulling you tightly to his chest. He didnt say anything as his hand firmly rubbed your arm, but you knew its because he didnt know what to say, not because he thought you needed the quiet. So you started. 

“So he's alive.” You sniffed, noticing that you had started to cry again. 

“Yes.” 

“I thought you said he was gone.” You whispered with a shiver as a child ran down your spine. He obviously felt it since his arm wrapped tighter round you. 

“So did I.”

“You said you killed him.” You said even smaller, not even trying to hide the fact that you were crying now. 

“I thought the damage I did to him would kill him. And I figured that if it didn't when Jiyong figured out he squealed he'd definitely do it.” He confessed through a deep sigh. He really hated talking about murdering anyone with you.

You punched his chest slightly and wiped away a tear. 

“What is the one thing you drill into everyone.” You said punching him slightly again.

“Always finish the job, leave nothing undone behind.” you quoted, punching him again, but this time he was quick to catch your wrist. 

You watched as his hand softened slightly while moving up your hand till your fingers were all intertwined with his. He sighed as he thought of the right words to say. He knew you were right. He loved it when you were right. 

“It was a moment of weakness. I should have had the mentality that he'd rather die then betray me and since he betrayed me, he should be okay to die. But i didn't. The moment I saw him I saw my best friend for 20 years. I saw the kid who was left on my home’s doorstep because his family wanted money more then him and I faltered.”

“Did you see him?” You asked quietly. You might as well hear this all now.

“No. He found Yugyeom one night while he was patrolling and talked to him. I didn't even know they brought him to the house till today. He was here to see if he could ask for forgiveness.”

“Are you going to forgive him?” You asked. He paused for a minute letting you think about what happens if he did. Could you forgive him?

“My love,” Jaebum said tilting your chin upwards. “You can't even see something that reminds you of him without having a panic attack. Why would I forgive him?”

“Like you said, he's been your closest friend for 20 years.” You said shifting yourself slightly so you could see him better. “ I just want you to know, if you want to forgive him, it'll take some time but I will forgive him too.” You whispered sniffling once. 

You watched as his lips pressed together into a straight line before he let out a soft breath. 

“Lets have this conversation later okay?” He said softly, watching as you nodded.

You snuggled into his chest once again before his finger lifted your chin up so he could place his lips gently against yours. He held you like that for a minute before letting you go so he could change out of the restricting suit he was wearing. But his arms quickly found you again as he snuggled you both deeper under the blankets. 

“Im never going to let you go ever again, I hope you know that.” He said puling you in even closer to him while you giggle softly. 

“I hope not”

[imaginative-neverland-blog]

(rebel) yeah im fine. just I have a small mouth and it can't fit all my teeth, ones coming in where it shouldn't be and it could cause permanent damage so i have to have surgery to get it fixed. they're also gonna do some other stuff like pull the teeth right beside my front ones and cut my wisdom teeth. i can't eat anything semi hard for about 2 weeks and if I suck (use a straw for example) ill get dry socket. apparently everything is going to hurt like a son of a bitch for a while. send help.

Oh god that sounds awful. Wow. I have never had teeth problems, so I am very sprry for you. Omg. Wow.. just holy shit. Goo luck. Eat all the ice cream in the world