#drunk Penny

[verfound]

FIC: "Of Lost Luggage, Shirts, and Other Things" (MLB; Lukanette; LBSC Lukanette Month 2024)

@lovebugs-and-snakecharmers is doing a Lukanette Month for September 2024, and we all just kinda tossed some prompts in the disco to compile a list?  We ended up with 71 prompts, so I decided I’d roll some dice to pick a prompt, do a twenty minute (ish, bc we all know sometimes they run away from me) sprint, and try to get some short fics out this month?

(This one is also kinda @rierse's fault, based on a prompt she dropped in the disco about someone wearing their own merch. 😂)

Read on Ao3

Prompt 69: Airport

Luka stared at the woman behind the desk with…honestly, he wasn’t sure what expression was on his face.  He was going for disbelief, but with how exhausted he was – and how long the last few days had been – it was probably something more akin to disdain.

He was, admittedly, probably doing a fairly decent impression of the Captain’s scowl.

It wasn’t her fault, he reminded himself.  She was just the messenger.  You don’t shoot the messenger.

…he was in desperate need of a coffee.  And a shower.  And some clean fucking clothes.

(And a T-S specialty, because the airport Cinnabon Crusher had bought him as an apology was still sitting too heavy and too much on his stomach, even nine hours later.)

“What…do you mean…” he started, slowly, closing his eyes and forcing himself to take a deep, calming breath, “…you lost…my luggage?”

“I am so sorry, M. Stone,” the poor girl said.  She looked like she was about to piss herself – which was probably fair.  He was still new enough that she probably hadn’t heard of Luke Stone yet.  Most likely, the poor girl just saw ‘Stone’, saw the VIP party his ticket had been attached to, and remembered the horror stories he was sure she had heard about Jay over the years.  She was probably expecting a wild crocodile to come barreling out of boarding, ready to chomp her head off for daring to lose a Stone’s luggage.  “It…it appears it’s not here.  It…looks like it might be in Barcelona?”

…they hadn’t been in Barcelona since the beginning of the summer tour.  How the shit had his suitcase traveled to Barcelona from New York, when the rest of them had made it to Paris just fine?

“We can have it back to you in a few days,” she said.  “I am so sorry, M. Stone, but –”

“It’s fine,” he said, his jaw clenching uncomfortably as he held up a hand.  God, he just needed to sleep.  And a shower.  And a clean fucking shirt – he’d smelled like bad Indian takeaway since New York, thanks to Crusher.  “Just…call me when you have it.”

He slumped away from the counter, rubbing his hands over his face.  A throat cleared nearby, and he looked up to find Penny holding a shirt up for him.

“It’s not ideal, but at least it’s clean,” she said.  “Until you get home.”

“They lost my bag,” he said.  There was a niggling in his stomach, an unpleasant reminder of…his eyes widened as he stared at Penny.  “…Penny.  They lost my bag.”

“I know,” she said, putting her hands on his shoulders and squeezing.  “Breathe, Luka.  It’s all right.  We’ll get it sorted.  Luggage gets lost all the time – it’s not the end of the world.”

…it felt like it.  Penny knew just as well as he did what was actually in that bag and how very important it was that it was not lost.

“Penny –” he started, but she shook her head and pushed the shirt into his hands.

“Go change,” she said.  “Go home.  Get some sleep.  I’ll track down the bag, and it’ll be back in no time.  Everything will be fine.”

“It’s a sign,” he groaned, dropping his head back into his hands.  “Penny, Gina flew out specifically to give me that…oh my God.  Oh my God.  Gina’s gonna kill me.  Tom’s gonna kill me.  It’s –”

“Stop that,” Penny said, swatting his arm.  “Go home.  Sleep.  Catch up with your…Marinette.”

…he almost smiled at that.  Almost, because as much as he loved the sound of ‘his Marinette’ she was only going to be his Marinette if that damn bag wasn’t lost, which it currently was.  God, this day couldn’t get any worse…Penny rolled her eyes and pushed him towards the exit.

“Change.  Sleep.  Stop freaking out – this means nothing, Luka!” she called as he wandered off.  “It’s going to be fine!”

…he wished he could believe her.  Usually, he would.  But he had too much riding on that damn bag – like the rest of his whole damn life – and he couldn’t help but wonder if losing the bag meant everything really was about to fall apart.

. : .

It didn’t take him long to change his shirt.  The other one – the one Crusher had spilled his curry on before the plane took off – went straight into the bin.  It was probably stained beyond saving, anyway, and it was just an old white shirt.  He could easily replace it.

But when he tugged the new shirt over his head and stared back at his reflection in the mirror of the airport restroom, he couldn’t help but think maybe the curry-stained shirt was preferable.

There was no way Penny could convince him that the only clean shirt in his size they had extras of was the summer tour shirt.  He looked like such a tool, walking around with his own face slapped on his chest.

He was not awake enough for this, he thought as he scrubbed his hands over his face.  Coffee.  He needed coffee.  If he was going to make it home, he needed coffee.

Airport coffee wasn’t always the best, but it was still better than nothing, so he found himself shambling towards the food court before making his way into the city.  It was probably for the best, anyway – he’d have a time finding a cab now, and the others were probably already on their way to their respective homes.

…like he would be.  If the stupid airport hadn’t lost his stupid luggage with the stupid…

He was going to be sick.

Maybe coffee wasn’t the best idea after all…

“Oh my God,” a voice gasped in front of him.  His brow furrowed, his expression scrunching.  That voice…there was something familiar about it, but he couldn’t quite place what…  “I love that artist!”

…fuck.

He did not have the mental fortitude to deal with fans at the moment.

“Oh my God,” he said, his voice maybe a tinge more sarcastic than he had intended, “yeah!  Me, too!”

There was a beat – a longer-than-necessary pause – where the person had grown uncomfortably silent, and he sighed as he shook his head.

“…sorry,” he said, rubbing his eyes.  “Long flight.  Yeah, um…he’s ok.”

He finally looked up at the fan, and his brow furrowed as he stared at her.  Large, dark sunglasses covered her face, and her short hair was tucked into a bright pink scarf.  She was dressed simply enough, in short pink overalls with a white shirt underneath – but there was something…familiar about that shirt.  Something that was trying to click in his jetlagged brain but just wouldn’t.

Something he felt he should recognize about the bits of green – leaves? – peeking out over the top of the overalls.

“More than ‘ok’, I’d say,” she sniffed, her lips turning in a frown.  “Though he’s kind of being a butt right now.  Might make me reconsider how cool I usually find him.”

“…that’s…fair,” he said, nodding.  “Again.  Sorry.  Long flight.”

“It’s a shame,” she said, sighing as she turned away.  There was a bag at her hip, and he would swear he watched it snap shut without her even touching it.  What the hell…?  “Usually, I’m a pretty big fan.  I’d even venture to say his biggest, though I know some people who would fight me for that title.”

She looked over her shoulder, and her cheek moved in a way that made him think she had just winked at him.  He blinked, his brow furrowing again as he tried to focus on her.  It was…kind of hard, when she was kinda blurry and there seemed to be two of her.

“Anyway,” she said, stepping forward as the line moved ahead of her.  “I’d heard his flight was coming in today.  I was hoping to surprise him, big fan that I am.  But traffic was terrible, and I heard I just missed him…and how bad that flight actually was.”

She heaved a longsuffering sigh, and he shook his head as he scrubbed at his eyes again.  That voice…

“So I thought I’d get him some coffee, but you see how long this line is,” she said, turning back towards him.  “I’ll be lucky if I catch him at all at this rate.  Don’t you – mmf!”

The pieces finally clicked into place, and he grabbed at Marinette’s wrist to tug her against him.  He bent her back, slipping her shades onto her head as he kissed her stupid.  Her hands gripped at his shoulders, and he would swear her foot even popped behind her.

“…about time,” she giggled at him.  He chuckled and shook his head before stealing another kiss.

“Asshole,” he huffed, rubbing their noses together.  “You were enjoying that entirely too much.”

“You’re adorable when you’re jetlagged,” she teased, her hand coming up to caress his jaw.  She frowned at the touch before tapping a finger against his skin.  “You need a shave.”

“Flight from hell,” he sighed, sagging against her.  “…forty-eight hours from hell.”

“Penny said they lost your luggage,” she said.  A throat cleared behind them, and she rolled her eyes before pulling him out of line with her.  He whined as they lost their place, but she leaned up to kiss his jaw.  “You know their coffee will taste like feet, anyway.  Let me get you home.  We can stop at my parents’ and get you some proper food.”

The mention of her parents had his stomach seizing all over again.

“…your dad’s gonna kill me,” he groaned, dropping his forehead on her shoulder.  “The suitcase, Marinette.  They lost my suitcase.”

“It’s ok,” she said, laughing as she patted his back.  “Penny said it’s in Barcelona – it’ll be here by tomorrow.  Day after at the latest.”

“No, but I can’t see your parents until I have the suitcase,” he said, shaking his head.  “Tom already knows – he’s expecting…I can’t…”

“Luka, Luka, hold on,” she said, placing her hands on his face to try and steady him.  She smiled as her thumb brushed beneath his eye, and he took a deep breath to try and calm himself.  “What’s going on?  It’s just a suitcase.  You have clean clothes at home – ones that don’t scream I’m an Egocentric Rock Star.”

She was teasing, he knew, but it still made him frown as she poked the face on his chest.  His face still scrunched as he caught her fingers.

“Hey,” he said, “I happen to love the person who designed this shirt.  Lay off.”

Her smile warmed, and she pulled his face back to hers for another kiss.

“She loves you, too,” she whispered against his lips.  “But it’s still a little tacky wearing your own merch, don’t you think?”

“If it was one of the other shirts – with the album logo or lyrics or something – it wouldn’t be as bad,” he sighed.  “It’s just because it’s the stupid tour shirt, with my stupid face on it, that makes me look like a stupid idiot.”

“Hey,” she laughed, hugging him tight, “you’re anything but.  Stop being so hard on yourself.”

“I lost my luggage, Marinette,” he groaned, pulling her close.  “I lost the ring.  How could I lose the ring?  I was supposed to hold onto it until it was safely on your finger, where it belongs, but now it’s lost in stupid Barcelona and you’re gonna say no and –”

“…Luka,” she said, her voice suddenly too-quiet with an odd edge to it.  He hummed, and her hands fisted in his shirt and tugged.  “Luka.”

She pulled back, staring up at him with wide eyes that had no right to look as beautiful as they did, not in the shitty airport lighting.  She tugged on his shirt again, and he frowned as she swallowed.

“What?” he asked, shaking his head to try and clear it.  She swallowed again, and he was distracted by thoughts of wanting to bite her neck.

“What ring?” she asked, and his eyes widened as his brain finally started to catch up to him.

…shit.

[ask-penny-sdv]

Y'all don't get penny like I do I'm her she's me she's my wife y'all don't get it

[sdv-confessions]

I know it’s not an unpopular opinion, but I really hate Pam. She’s the ONE character that I just… don’t want to befriend. I can handle Pierre and his misogynistic views (and controlling behaviour), I can handle Lewis and whatever is going on with him, I could probably handle Morris if he was befriendable. I cannot handle Pam and her abuse towards Penny, nor her drinking addiction. And I really can’t handle how it feels like CA is lowkey promoting (wrong word… maybe allowing??) drunk driving in the game. It makes me unreasonably angry when content creators almost joke about Pam’s drunk driving too, it’s such a serious issue. I wish we could have someone else driving the bus or even have Pam stop drinking altogether (have a heart event that triggers and afterwards she hates all alcohol?? Idk if that’s even possible in coding tho). I’m tired of the drunk driving and I just want it gone

.

[uberhood]

Meet Penny Weiss.

"Penny figures she must be here for a reason. Probably anthropological. So she strives to know as much as possible about her neighbors, so she'll have something useful to report."

Oh dear, Penny. Penny, Penny, Penny. I feel bad for what this save did to her; normally, she's something near sane. But not this time. In this save, Penny's Knowledge/Popularity sim to her core, in the worst way possible.

Penny's… a mess, really. She tries not to be, but she's a mess, she's been a mess since she was a kid, and she'll continue to be a mess until she actually faces consequences for her actions. And she knows she's never, ever going to-- after all, her alien relatives are going to come take her away any day now, right? It doesn't matter what she does, because she won't be there to face the music.

Penny wants to go into showbiz. She sure has the personality for it-- BIG mood swings, BIG changes in personal aesthetic (right now she's a psychadelic sci-fi neohippie, tomorrow she might be a goth or a punk or a tool), BIG indiscretions and acts of rebellion, BIG mistakes. She's had exactly one movie role- playing a waitress in an Auda Sharif gig a couple years ago, after his career jumped the shark- but hasn't been able to parlay that into being a Movie Star. Still, she remains ever-hopeful that she'll get her big break before her folks bring her home.

Penny's also an incorrigable gossip, INCREDIBLY friendly without sharing much about herself, and pleasant to be around until she ropes you into something crazy. She's nice. She can be kind, even. But she's impulsive, thoughtless, and tends to make... mistakes.

Exhibit A:

[gorillaxyz]

i love my american history teacher 🥰 he is nice to me and i impress him rvery lesson with my knowledge and how i apply it... he thinks im cool. i am awesome

[sparrowofsong]

@bug-bytes

It's unfortunately less interesting than it sounds lol

I've never used it before, and it's a different style than the water bottles I currently use, and change is scary. Which I could eventually get over, if it wasn't for-

I swear there's something on the bottom of the inside that I can't scrub out. Idk if it's rust or mold or an old drink or what but it's stuck and I can't convince myself to even try drinking from it until that's gone (or at least identified and confirmed to be safe)

It's a shame, because it'd be an upgrade from my current water bottles. It's easier to clean, it's bigger, it's nicer looking, it's not so horribly dented that it can't stand upright, it's even got a straw. I just can't seem to get myself to use it.

[hyydraworks]

Ratuary Day 24: Jovial

Penny is perhaps one of the most amiable wasps you will ever encounter.  She let’s life take her where it will, and highly enjoys the antics of her rat companion, who for the most part keeps Penny out of trouble.

[tenrosedyke]

met someone at the bar and we were bro-ing out and then I mentioned stardew valley offhandedly. suddenly an hour long convo about marriage candidates and the best options

[qiioo]

penny makes late 2000s pop music vocaloid covers send tweet

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

watching bojack is just going please don't do what you're about to do and the damn horse goes and do that thing and you just watch its like watching a trainwreck you want to look away but you just keep staring anyway

[facewithoutheart]

Found a Peruvian beer that I’m obsessed with. It’s called a Cat IPA. I’m in love. So I made it SnowBaz.

Oh and the front just so you can see cat!Baz in all his glory (plus bonus Peruvian rainbow tablecloth).

[bradshawsbaby]

Tequila Drunk Saga!

After Jake takes a shot off of Pheonix, she rolls him on his back so now she’s straddling him and she basically humps him while taking another shot and I- 🥵🫠

If they’re at the Hard Deck, Penny is definitely ringing the bell while throwing a bucket of ice water on them 😂

YOU GUYS, I AM AT WORK!

(But it’s okay because I’m on my lunch break 😜)

Okay, but imagine that it’s actually Coyote who reaches over to ring the bell? He tells Penny, “Drinks are on Hangman and Phoenix for the rest of the night!”

Penny absolutely cannot keep a straight face and asks, “Which rule did they break?”

Without missing a beat, Coyote yells, “THEY’RE DISRESPECTING MY EYES!!!”

[hella1975]

me: im feeling particularly tired and self-destructive today im gonna stay in and watch anime

my flatmate on a SUNDAY NIGHT WTAF: spoons?

me:

[ahhscheisse]

my mom trying to calm down her enraged husband who wants to bust some skulls bc someone at jacks (the restaurant) forgot to put a sandwich in their bag: why would you let a .99 cent sandwich ruin your day? those people don’t care! they’re a bunch of dumb ignorant lazy stupid motherfuckers who can only get a job at jacks.

me, trembling with anxiety as i try to eat, realizing that my mom once told me working fast food would be too much for me:

[andromedasummer]

patrick gill raiding mira during her last voices of the void stream was such a pleasant surprise esp as his timing was PERFECT he chose the moment shit started to go DOWN in that game

[captainshadowgirllostfan]

I like Young Sheldon but part of it is also imagining this family to be more dark, edgy and badass than they actually truly are lmao