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she-is-tim · 6 years ago

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I love hating you | Elu enemies to lovers AU | Ch. 6

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Lucas is an angry, closeted and frustrated gay teenager, while Eliott is the handsome, smart and popular guy in school. They hate each other… but not forever.

Yeah, the title is different on the header, coincidence? I think not. There will be Angst in this one, so just careful with the reading.

We have to talk

Lucas cried for hours on Saturday, laying on the couch, hiding under the blanket. He knew that the others can still hear him, Lisa is probably already annoyed, but none of them said a word. He cried until he fell asleep, then woke up from a nightmare just to burst out in tears again. All in all he barely slept three hours. He was now staring at the ceiling, sadness turning into a numb feeling in his body. Everything around him seemed so distant, fading into the darkness, while he floats away on the water, not even trying to fight back. His mind was filled with memories, Eliott crawled his way back up inside him, turning his sweet, beloved memories into bitter ones, making him question everything the boy said to him.

Around 6 in the morning, Lucas got up from the couch, eyes red, lips chapped, hair flat and messy. He was walking like a zombie, wearing grey sweatpants and a loose navy blue shirt. He had a hoodie Eliott gave him, he wanted to set it on fire now, but he just shoved it under the couch. He made himself some strong coffee, then he walked back to the couch with mug in his hand, sitting down and just drinking silently. He turned off his phone right after he recieved that photo. He didn’t wanted to think about it, because he would be freaking out. He wanted to forget and just live in forever numbness.

On Monday he left before Manon could even get ready, he needed to clear his head, took the long route to the school. He haven’t checked his phone even if it was turned back on. Everytime he closed his eyes, the picture of him and Eliott appeared, like it was printed on the inside of his eyelids. He wanted to scratch out his eyes, stop these crazy thoughts, forget Eliott and live his life like nothing happened. Maybe if he avoids the tall boy, he can get away. I mean it was probably a blackmail to leave Eliott alone. What else could be the point of making that photo? No one cared about Lucas in school.

He reached the street of his school, suddenly feeling nervous when he saw a little group of students murmuring, peeking at him, then continue whispering. He took a deep breath, hoping it will calm down his nerves and tried to walk past them, ignoring the stares. He was almost at the gates, when someone pushed him from behind, very roughly. He lost his balance and his body crashed to the wall, a brick cutting his lips in the process. He gasped for air, suddenly feeling dizzy. He could only hear the world in the distance over the loud noise, but the laughs were pretty much audible for him. He tried to get back on his feet.

Lucas wiped off the blood from his lips now, walking through the school gates. He stopped when he saw all the students in the yard. He felt like he was exposed, standing in front of the world naked, weak, worthless. He swallowed and pulled up his hood, to feel a bit protected from all those eyes. No one was looking at him yet, but he still felt like all of them were watching, laughing. He saw pictures on the ground as he walked.

He leant down, picking up one. It was just a quickly printed, not very good quality picture, but the two people on it was clearly visible. Lucas wanted to throw up, run home and never come back here again. It was the same picture he got on saturday night. But it wasn’t all, there was something written on it too: “All hail Lucas Lallemant, the school fag!”

He closed his eyes, hands shaking of anger and pain. He couldn’t believe that this is happening with him. His facade got destroyed, now everyone knew. He couldn’t tell it to Yann or the boys himself. They all know. A single tear rolled down on his face as he opened his eyes. He noticed a familiar face in the crowd, staring at the wall that was filled with the photos.

His blood was boiling, he was upset and had to hit something... or someone. His steps were fast, ignoring some slurs people yelled at him. He walked to Eliott, who noticed him right away, turning his whole body towards Lucas. This time he was glad that Eliott was like this, because it was easier to punch him in the face. He wasn’t thinking, just swinged his first, that landed on his left cheek, causing the taller boy to lose balance and had to put his hand on the wall to not fall. A few drops of blood left his nose, but he wiped it off.

“I hate you! You fucking asshole!” Lucas yelled, eyes filled with tears. He didn’t actually hate Eliott, he liked him, but his heart was broken, his life was falling apart and the only one he could blame was Eliott. If it wasn’t for him, Lucas would be still living his normal life, hiding behind the safety of his lies.

“Lucas, just let me...”

“Shut up! You must be satisfied! Here I am outed to the whole school, everyone is laughing at me, thanks to you.” He yelled, tears rolling down his face, he didn’t even try to stop them. “I don’t wanna talk to you or see you ever again.” He added quietly and walked away without giving a chance for Eliott to speak.

Flashes were haunting him from saturday, when he saw Eliott with that girl. He was laughing and wrapping his arm around her, they seemed to be close. I’m not feeling good, my ass. Lucas was mad, at himself, at Eliott, at that girl, at the person who spread the photos. It was more than enough to cope with his heartbreak, but now he had to deal with being outed to everyone at school. He had to stop at the backyard, away from he others, leaning to the wall. He barely could breathe, his chest was hurting, stomach turning, making him feel like he’s going to puke.

His whole body was shaking, tears rolling down on his face uncontrollably, he wrapped his arms around himself, pulling up his legs so he could curl up a little as he was leaning to the wall. His lung didn’t wanted to take in oxygen, his sobs turned into wild gasps, his heart was beating crazy fast, cold sweat covering his body under his clothes. He wanted to scream, his chest was burning, so were his eyes. He was grabbing his own jacket so hard that his knuckles turned white. He wanted this to stop, he wanted nothing more and as the world around him started spinning, then fading, he heard someone yelling his name. Then cut.

He woke up, the smell of antiseptic crawled its way into his nose, burning it slowly. His whole body hurt like he got hit by a truck. Suddenly he felt something grumbling in his stomach, he groaned, trying to keep it down, but he suddenly sat up and just before he started to puke, a bowl landed in his lap. He grabbed it with both of his hands, shaking. He was coughing and gagging for minutes even, body shivering, covered in sweat.

“Just breathe, you’ll be fine.” he heard a soft voice and then felt a hand on his back, rubbing it gently. He looked up, trying to focus his vision to the bright light, he still felt dizzy and some parts of the picture were blurry, but he recognized Manon standing next to him, looking relieved, still a bit worried.

“What...” he tried to form words, but his mouth was dried, his throat burning to even trying to say anything.

Manon handed him a glass of water which he slowly drank, looking thankfully at her. She sat back on the chair that was placed next to the bed. Now he could realize that he was in the school nursery. In a few weeks for the second time, but without Eliott. Just the thought of the tall boy made him tear up again. He wanted to punch something, he felt like all this physical pain was nothing compared to what he felt inside. His heart shattered into small pieces, his happy memories turned into painful reminders of how he screwed up. He put down the glass and burried his face into the palm of his hands.

“Are you okay?” Manon asked softly, only getting a short groan as an answer. “The boys are waiting outside... well so are the girls. I asked them to not come in, because you need air and this room is way too small.” she said softly, which now made Lucas raise his head, looking at her in disbelief.

“The guys?” he asked. “Aren’t they disgusted?” he mumbled, trying to swallow slowly, still having a soar throat. Manon raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

“Why would they be disgusted?” she asked, keeping her eyes on Lucas, making sure he is not going to puke again.

“The photos...” that was all he could say, looking down. He pushed the bowl of puke away, because it was smelling awful. His hands were shaking again, he tried to take control over it, but it was impossible.

“They are probably shocked.” she said honestly. “But they aren’t disgusted, Lucas. They are your friends. When Yann found you, he was totally paniced, so he called me. We brought you here and the doctor made sure you are okay. She gave you some fuilds through a needle. I don’t know exactly, but she said you have to drink a lot of water when you wake up.” her voice was calming, it felt good to listen to it. Lucas sighed, finally looking at her again, seeing the soft smile on her face made him feel a bit relaxed.

“Can you tell Yann to come in?” he asked, voice still hoarse, but not as much as before.

“Only Yann?” she asked and got up after Lucas answered with a short nod.

She walked to the door and opened it, Lucas could see his friends outside talking loud and bombing Manon with questions immediately. They even wanted to come in, but she closed the door behind herself, probably explaining them that the short boy only wants to see his best friend right now. At least Lucas hoped that they are still best friends.

He startled when the door opened, Yann walking in, gently closing it behind himself, leaving his rambling friends outside. He looked at his friend, examining him as he reached the bed, sitting down on the chair where Manon was sitting just a minute ago. He took a deep breath before talking.

“How are you feeling, bro?” Yann asked, hands placed on his lap, but his fingers were drumming on his thigh. Lucas smiled just a little, noticing the familiar moves. This was still Yann, his best friend, his brother.

“Like I got hit by a truck.” he said honestly which made his friend smile. “Manon said you found me.”

“Yeah, when I came to school everything was filled with those shitty pictures, then I heard that you punched Demaury. I started looking for you, then I saw you on the backyard, curled up. You fainted just when I arrived. I was so fucking worried, I called Manon and took you here.” he explained, rubbing his temple his two fingers. “I swear that I was frustrated all day because of you...”

“All day?” Lucas cut him off now. “What time is it?” he asked, realizing that he had been knocked out for much longer than he thought.

“It’s 15:40, Lucas.” Yann said softly, Lucas gasped, massaging the bridge of his nose with two fingers now. “You were unconscious for almost 8 hours.”

“Fuck...” that is all the boy says and now lays back in bed. He is kinda cold considering that his clothes are soaked in sweat. He pulled the blanket over himself, his shaking was slowly stopping, his body stopped aching. The only thing that still hurt real bad was his heart. He couldn’t stop his mind wandering off, remembering Eliott’s face as he was yelling at him. He closed his eyes roughly, taking deep breaths before opening again. Yann was patiently waiting on his seat, fingers still drumming on his leg.

“I wanna ask questions, but I’m not sure if you would answer.” his friend broke the silence after long, agonizing minutes. Lucas looked at him, reaching his arm out which Yann grabbed without hesitation, squeezing his hand gently.

“We are not a thing.” he mumbled, looking at the ceiling, taking a deep breath before saying the damned name. “Eliott and I are not together... not anymore.” he finished slowly, fighting back the tears that stubbornly trying to come out.

“Not anymore?” Yann asked, still holding his friend’s hand. “What happened?”

“Long story short, I saw him with a girl when he was supposed to be sick.” Lucas answered and closed his eyes, trying not to remember that saturday night.

“Damn, dude. I’m sorry.” he said with pure honesty in his voice. Lucas couldn’t hold it back now, he started to cry, pulling his free arm over his face to cover it, but his loud sobs gave him away. Yann stroked his hand, not saying anything, just being there for him, because he knew that Lucas needs him.

After he was done crying, he told Yann that he can let in the others if they wanna come, and they wanted. He was overwhelmed by all the kind things. Arthur hugged him, squeezing his weak body gently and whispering that he’s proud, Basile just cheered and rambled without a point. The girls on the other hand, Daphné, Alexia, Emma wanted to ask about Eliott until Imane cut them off. Lucas was grateful for it, because he was not ready to talk about that. He wasn’t sure he’s ever gonna be ready.

After almost thirty minutes of suffering from his friends cooing around him, Lucas got out of bed. Arthur, this blonde angel got him a taxi, so he didn’t had to take the bus, plus he paid for it. Lucas could never dream of a better friend. He brings weed and pays your taxi. The short boy hugged his friends, even Basile before getting into the car. They looked genuinely concerned about him, but he was feeling better, for now at least.

When he was finally home, curled up on his couch, wrapped in a blanket, he decided to check his phone. He had a lot of messages from his friends, positive stuff, supporting words and all. He also had some really rude and hurtful messages on facebook from people he never met before. Apparently the picture of him and Eliott went not just over the school, but over the internet. Lucas hated himself more than ever before. He got his shit together enough to ignore the hateful stuff and reply to his friends. He had a few missing calls from Eliott and even a text, asking him if they could meet. Lucas blocked the number in the blink of an eye.

He scrolled through instagram now, blocking all the people that were DMing him just to call him fag or some other shit. Then he changed his settings, so only those can DM him that he follows. It was a bit of a relief, because he was sure non of the people he follows would say homophobic stuff to him. When he was almost done with deleting the shitty messages, he saw that Sofiane texted him too. He swallowed before opening the chat.

sofalaoui Imane texted me asking what’s up with you an Eliott I couldn’t lie to her... so I didn’t text back Call me if you have time

Lucas sighed, he really liked Sofiane and didn’t wanted him to suffer because of all the shit that’s going on with him and Eliott. He drank some water, just to moisturize his soar throat, then he clicked on the number the dancer sent him and called it. There was only a few seconds of wait before they picked it up.

“Lucas?” Sofiane’s voice sounded worried, concerned, which warmed the boy’s heart a little. At least he had nice people around him in these horrible days.

“Yeah, it’s me.” he answered, a little quiet, but hoped the other can still hear him.

“Damn, what happened with you guys?” he asked now curiously. “Eliott is not answering my messages and calls. Imane said you hit him in the face. Is that true?”

“Yes, it is.” he answered shortly, not really wanting to go into details. It already too painful to even think about Eliott, but talking about him too? That was a bit too much to the little hedgehog.

“Okay, can I get any explanation? Because like four days ago he almost swallowed me in whole just ‘cause I wanted to teach you dance moves.” he said, being really concerned now, Lucas could imagine his face right now, frowning at him.

“He was lying to me.” he mumbled, leaning back on the couch, holding back the damned tears. “He lied and someone spread pictures of us in school... It’s his fault that everyone hates me, while he is out there still being the perfect student. Everything is because of him.” he said with each word getting closer to the edge and then without realizing it, he was crying. Sobbing into the phone like a stupid child.

“Hold on, buddy.” Sofiane said, sounding even more worried than before, if that’s even possible. He slowly exhaled, trying to think about his words, at least Lucas felt like that. “Lied to you... what is that mean?”

“Don’t act like a fool, I saw him with that girl on saturday.” He said with anger in his voice now, trying to fight back the sobs. “He told me he’s not feeling well, I waited for more than a day, but he didn’t even texted me. I was worried and went to visit him...” he mumbled, warm tears running on his face like damned rivers, betraying his brain that wants to just stop them. “I got there when he came out of the building... hugging a girl.” he finished, closing his eyes roughly, trying to get rid of that horrible memory.

“Lucas...” he started and then just stopped, letting out a frustrated sigh. “You gotta talk to him. Trust me, this is a huge misunderstanding.’ he said softly, trying to be convincing.

“I don’t wanna see him...”

“You are hurting him and yourself too. This is not gonna lead to any good. Please.... he is my friend, but so are you. You two were so damn happy...”

“Maybe tomorrow... I am not feeling like walking today.” Lucas mumbled, rubbing off the tears from his face.

“Okay, I’m gonna try and reach out to this dumbass.” Sofiane said, sounding like he’s smiling. “Take care of yourself, Lucas.”

“I will, thank you, Sofiane.” he muttered and hung up, putting down his phone.

He was thinking about all the stuff. Sofiane was a straight up, honest person, Lucas spent hours with him last week and that was enough to get to know him. He couldn’t lie, didn’t even wanted to, which made Lucas to respect him so much. He wanted to believe that all of that was just a misunderstanding, but it wouldn’t solve his problem at school. The pictures spread like wildfire, his sexuality was known by everyone. He himself wasn’t ready to accept it, he only had a crush on Yann a year ago, now he got Eliott, but other than that it was just weird thinking he could like any other guy. Especially now that his thoughts were going around that one damned person.

He laid down on the couch, stretching out his legs when someone opened the front door. He cursed quietly when he recognized Mika’s voice. The older boy knew something was up with Lucas and he was holding his questions back on sunday, but he was more than sure he won’t be now. Especially if Manon told him about the fainting. He still haven eaten anything despite his promise to the school doctor. It was more than sure that whatever he would try to force down into his body would come back up within minutes. His stomach was like a heavy rock in his body, small, but solid.

“Kitten, it that you on the couch?” Mika asked, putting some bags down in the kitchen.

“Yeah.” he groaned, pulling a blanket over himself, wishing to disappear.

It took only a few minutes for him flatmate to put away the groceries and come to him, kneeling down next to the couch, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. Lucas felt like crying again. He owed so much to Mika for finding him, bringing him here, offering a place to stay. He didn’t deserve all this kindness. He was a horrible person, lying to everyone and now crying over his broken lies.

“Kitten, you wanna talk?” he asked softly. He hasn’t been this kind to Lucas since a long while now, not since Manon was back. It felt like a father choosing one of his kid over the other.

“I don’t know.” the boy mumbled and pulled down the blanket a little to look at Mika. His eyes hurt from all the crying and his vision was still kinda blurry. His flatmate sighed and stroked his hair away from his face.

“What’s wrong, Lucas?”

“Everyone knows.” he mumbled, closing his eyes, not ready to say the words to the coming question, but Mika surprised him.

“I suppose that it wasn’t you who told them.” Mika said softly, rubbing the boy’s shoulder. “Tell me everything.”

So Lucas started the story. Sometimes his voice cracked, Mika fetched him a glass of water, so he could drink when his throat gets exhausted from speaking. He told him how this thing with Eliott started, with the piano, then the texts, their almost kiss at Eliott’s place, then their actual kiss... and then the weekend together. He told him how they met in secret at school just to make out. How happy it made him when Eliott texted, called or just looked at him. Mika was listening carefully, especially at the end, where he was fighting back tears, telling how he saw Eliott with that girl, then got a message with a photo of the both of them, kissing.

“When I got to school it was everywhere...” he sobbed, hugging a pillow to his chest hoping to push his pain out, into the soft material. “Someone pushed me to the wall, people laughed at me... but no one said a bad word to Eliott.” he continued, voice shaking, burying his face into the pillow. “I hit him in the face and yelled at him... then I walked away.” he finished with that, didn’t wanted to scare Mika with the fainting story.

“Listen here, Kitten. Whoever did that, it’s a shitty person. But your friends are by your side, right?” he asked softly, holding Lucas’ hand now, squeezing it a little.

“They are... They support me...” he mumbled between ugly sobs, rubbing his running nose into the sleeve of his sweater. He knew he was being disgusting, but it was the last thing he could think of. “I don’t deserve them... I lied to them, I ditched them for a guy that doesn’t even care about me... that let me get hurt by the whole school.”

“I don’t wanna sound annoying, but you should talk to that guy first.” Mika said softly. “I don’t think with all these things you guys did together it would be a lie.” he said honestly.

“Sofiane said that too.” he mumbled. “Eliott’s friend.” adding to it when he saw the confusion on Mika’s face. “He said we should be talking, because there is a misunderstanding... but I’m scared. I hit him in the face, Mika. I physically hurt him.” he sobbed now, realizing that he was actually afraid of Eliott’s reaction. What if he doesn’t wanna talk to Lucas? What if after that punch it was all over between them. If Eliott really liked him and that girl wasn’t his girlfriend, then it was him who ruined everything.

Mika now leaned forward, pulling the crying boy into a loving, bone-crashing hug. He squeezed the little, powerless body, kissing Lucas’ hair and humming some stupid melody to calm him down. At some point the short boy’s breathig slowed down, his mind drifting away into the calmness of sleeping. He dreamed of Eliott, they were together in the apartment, back when everything was perfect. They lived in their own little happy bubble, being all affectionate and flirty.

The air was cold, Lucas wanted to just sink into the ground or disappear, but here he was at Eliott’s apartment, staring at the door, not daring to ring the bell. He swallowed hard, fixing the big scarf around his neck that was covering half of his face. It was because of the weather, but also because he felt more safe like this, hiding behind some kind of clothing. Suddenly someone opened the front door of the building, Lucas stepped out of the way, but quickly sneaked inside before the door closed itself. Going up the stairs was an eternity, and he felt like his limbs were frozen when he saw the door of Eliott’s apartment. All of the memories came back, the way they basically fell inside, soaked because of the rain, but giggling like idiots. He missed those tender touches, Eliott’s kisses. Now all he had was the hoodie, and he wasn’t going to give it back. He needed to have something from Eliott if things go down the drain.

He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts, trying to make sure he knows what he’s doing. Then he walked closer to the door, knocking a few times, then waiting anxiously. His stomach became even more small, just a little rock on the bottom of the ocean, but has the weight of an adult whale. His heart was thumping in his throat, eyes burning from the intense stare he was giving to the piece of wood that separated him from Eliott. Then he heard a few noises, the door slowly opened. A familiar, but also strange looking face peeked out. Lucas wanted to punch himself in the face when he saw the bright purple bruise under Eliott’s eye. He looked pale, exhausted, his expression were closer to confusion and quiestioning.

“Lucas?” his voice was rough, like he haven’t spoken since a while, and he probably weren’t. The boy’s heart was beating faster, he opened his mouth, then he closed it, not knowing what to say. “Come in.” Eliott broke the silence, opening the door wide enough for Lucas to get inside. He was wearing black sweatpants and a really creasy black shirt.

The boy walked in, trying to fight the flashbacks he got just as he looked at the couch. So many things they did in such little time. He looked around, taking the familiar smell in, knowing without looking where things were in the living room. He walked there, sitting in the armchair, looking at Eliott who followed him, hands buried into the pockets of his pants. He didn’t sit, just stood across Lucas, staring at the boy with his stormy eyes. It looked like his mind wasn’t completely here, like he was somewhere else in his head.

“You want anything?” Eliott asked, jerking his head towards where the kitchen was and Lucas shook his head.

“No, I’m just... We have to talk.”

“Last time you punched me and told me you don’t wanna see me again.” Eliott said, bitterness in every word, like sharp needles pinching at Lucas’ heart.

“I’m sorry... I lost my head, I shouldn’t have hit you...” I should have hurt myself, not you. You don’t deserve this.

“Okay, are we going to get to the point?” Eliott asked, he seemed to be frustrated, legs fidgeting as he stood there, not wearing socks like always. His naked toes curled up like he’s trying to grab the floor with them.

“Yeah, of course.” Lucas mumbled, looking at his hands fidgeting on his lap. “I made a mistake...”

“That’s your speciality, I guess.” Eliott said unexpectedly, making the short boy gasp, swallowing back his tears. This wasn’t the Eliott he was together with, this one was full of bitter pain, anger and sadness. He looked so small, hunched, like he has some big weight on his shoulders. Lucas wished he could just erease the last few days, going back to the happy ones when they were cuddling on the couch, kissing each other and whispering soft things into the other’s lips.

“I know that I was overreacting.” he broke the agonizing silence now, trying to get his shit together. “I was so insecure about us... I wasn’t coming to your place because I was suspicious, I just missed you, worried. Then I saw you healthy and happy, hugging a girl, while you wasn’t even replying to my texts.” he said, feeling like one of the many rocks rolled off his chest. “I felt broken, betrayed... Then I got a message with the photo.”

Eliott said nothing, hands still in his pockets, but he was now looking at the ceiling. Lucas could see a single tear running down his cheek and it broke his heart even more. The least thing he wanted was to make him cry.

It took him long minutes to say anything, he moved his hand to his face, wiping off the tear a bit angrily. He looked at Lucas with steel blue eyes, full of determination and seriousness, which scared the younger one. He haven’t saw him look like this since a long while now. Last time it was almost half a year ago when they bumped into each other on the school hall when Eliott was in hurry. He looked at Lucas just like this before leaving him without a word.

“I need to tell you something, Lucas. This is really important, and after I said it, I want you to leave.” His voice was serious, just like his eyes. Lucas felt the cold sweat on his body, eyes burning to produce more tears, but he can’t cry. It would just make the older boy feel guilty.

“Alright.” he whispered as an answer and a sign for Eliott that he can tell what he wants. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“The girl who was with me on saturday is Lucille.” he said, taking a deep breath, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “My sister. I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t feel good, Lucas. I wasn’t in a good place... I was drifting away and she came here to make sure I’ll be okay.” he said seriously, rolling his eyes now before looking at the boy again. “I should have known this wouldn’t work with us. You were hating me for so long... I thought it’s gonna be fine, when we were together I felt good. Better than ever. Then I saw how you looked at Sofiane...” he swallowed, running his fingers through his hair with frustration. “I know we came here and made out after that, but my mind couldn’t let it go, so I slipped into a bad phase.” he sighed, taking a little break, frowning his brows like he was thinking. Lucas felt like he can’t find the right words and deep inside he wished to never ever hear those, but that was impossible.

“I am bipolar, Lucas.” he says it finally and looks like he can finally breathe again, his back straightens, like he weight was lifted from his shoulders. Now it’s all on Lucas’ chest, pounding him into the armchair, the world turns into distant noises once again.

It’s not easy to digest all these things. He felt like a complete fool for thinking that Eliott has a girlfriend. He couldn’t look at his face, because that dark bruise was basically screaming at him that he’s the biggest idiot on this world. His chest hurts, like there’s a horse laying on it, trying to press out the last gasp of oxygen. His head feeling dizzy and before he could control it, tears running down his face.

“I said what I had to.” Eliott’s voice deep, but has no emotions in it, almost like a robot speaking to the boy. “Now leave.”

Lucas doesn’t remember how he got up from the armchair or walked out of the door. He can’t tell if they said goodbye to each other or not. To be honest, he hoped that they didn’t. His brain was still circling around the things Eliott said, that he was bipolar, that the girl with him was his sister. He felt the rock, that was supposed to be his stomach sink deeper into his body, pulling him down. He struggled with walking, his body not wanting to do the things, but his way home was smoother than he thought.

He was standing now in the living room, no sign of the others, but he heard noises coming from Manon’s bedroom. She was probably watching something. He let himself go now, falling on his knees, burying his face into his palms, crying loudly and uncontrollably. He screwed up the best thing in his life, now he can’t do anything to get Eliott back. He made himself clear: He wants Lucas out of his apartment, out of his life. Shattered pieces were sinking down in his body, part of the thing that was his heart once.

I am so sorry guys, things will be fine with them soon. I was hurting as I wrote this chapter.

#Skam France #Elu enemies to lovers AU #I love hating you #I hate loving you #Elu #Eliott Demaury #Lucas Lallemant #sofiane #Lucille #eliott x lucas

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