#dropping my next amv in my 30s

[shi0n]

every day i wake up to bizarre comments on my kuroshitsuji AMV i made 8 years ago

[spring-has-come]

RusAme Secret Santa 2019

Yeehaw, another year let’s go. Yes I’m recycling this image. I’m sorry. I work fulltime. 

Below are the steps to joining this year’s RusAme Secret Santa/Gift Exchange event:

Step 1: Fill out this form before November 30th and submit it to me. Or message it to me, doesn’t matter. I just need to see it. (the form is tagged “form” if the link doesn’t work). There is also a google form for mobile users.

If you are seeing this post after November 30th, message me your name and I will add you into a “late submitters” pool. If there are enough late submissions, you will be entered into the second pool. If not, I apologize but you will have to wait until next year. But if there are enough for a second group, you will be notified before December 14 but that only give you ONE WEEK to work

Step 2: Wait up to 24 hours for me to confirm that I got your form and that everything is good and complete.

IMPORTANT: If your asks and messaging is turned off, you will not be able to get your confirmation OR your assigned person, so please turn it on. Asks will be sent via my main blog since side blogs can’t send asks. Also, if you have the private message setting that only allows blogs you follow, then follow this blog

Step 3: Once confirmed, wait patiently until December 1st-December 3rd for partner assignment

Step 4: Confirm to me that you got the form. This is very important. I need to know if you’re still participating and active. Those who do not respond may be replaced. You have until December 12th to respond. 

Step 5: Pick one of the wishes and work on your gift. If you want, you can combine the wishes together. Get creative!

If for any reason you are not well enough or in any way cannot complete your gift, notify me before December 18th

Step 6:  Post it from December 25th - December 30th and tag it as “rusame secret santa 2019″ or tag this blog if you want your work posted on this blog. Or if you are doing a private submission, screenshot that you sent your work to your recipient and send me the screenshots. 

Step 7: Receive your gift and thank the person for their work!

So that’s it! Have fun guys!

Reblog to spread the word!!!

Below the cut: Schedule, Rules, Requirements, and FAQ for mobile users:

Schedule

Nov 3rd - Signup open

Dec 1 - Signup closed

Dec 1st-3rd - Partner assignment

Dec 3rd-25th - Working period

Dec 19th - Mandatory progress checkup

Dec 25th-30th - Submission

Rules

You MUST follow this blog. I need to be able to message you. After following, turn notifications on for this blog to get updates. I will post only when an update is needed. 

Do not tell your partner that you are their partner (if their anon is off and you want to ask them a question, I can be your middle man) 

Make sure to tag your person when you are done so they can see it! 

Put the word count, prompt, possible trigger warnings, and ratings at the beginning of writings 

Posting WIPs in Discord servers is allowed. Just be mindful of whether or not your partner is present, unless you don’t mind being revealed

Requirements

This is not a judge of talent. The requirements are just here so everyone puts in equal effort. PLEASE let me know if you run into complications.

Below are the requirements:

One-shots and fics must be at least 2,000 words, max of 10,000 words. If you go over, that’s okay

Artwork must be colored and complete. No sketches

Video edits/AMVs/CMVs must be at least 30 seconds. Content MUST be your own. Do not use works(artworks, photographs, etc.) that you do not own. Music is an exception, of course

Comics should be a minimum of 3 pages. They don’t have to be colored but they should be at least lined, have a solid color, or color lined

Animations must be at least 8 seconds. Do not have to be colored

Film scripts must be at least 10 pages

Mixed media options:

a 1,500(1.5k) drabble with a roughly lined sketch

a 4 second animation with rough concept art sketches

a cosplay gifset (your own) with a 1k drabble

a storybook type drabble that includes several drawings throughout

or any other combination (ask me FIRST)

Reminder: Half ass plus half ass does not make a whole ass. Put your best effort into your gift!

Not allowed:

“Fanart gallery” type videos. The types where you throw 300 pictures into windows movie maker.

Commissions from others (Unless you are giving them the credit.)

Tracing someone else’s artwork (that’s art theft. Rotoscoping an anime/film and tracing real life people [as a ref] is allowed)

Plagiarism, aka copying and pasting someone else’s writing and changing the names and pronouns

Aesthetic posts/mood boards

Spotify playlists

FAQ

What is this?

This is the secret santa/gift exchange event for the hetalia ship RusAme

Why do you need my email?

Google forms needs to collect emails so that at the end, you are given the option to have your form submitted emailed to you so you remember what you submitted. It also gives you the option to edit your form if you change your mind.

Why do you need my age?

Minors will not be allowed to receive or submit NSFW content.

Why are the requirements so strict?

To ensure that no one is “cheated” by being given an unsatisfactory gift. Your work does not have to be the Mono Lisa or Harry Potter. This is not a judge of talent. Just do your best and have fun.

Can I do more than one wish?

Go crazy, dude. I’m sure your partner would be ecstatic if you did more than one!

How do I submit my post on Christmas?

Your options are:

post it on your own tumblr and @ spring-has-come or put rusame secret santa 2019 in the tags

post it on fanfiction/ao3/wattpad/whatever and send me a link

send a direct submission to this blog for me to post

send it directly to your partner then screenshot the messages to me so I can confirm you did it

What is a pitch-hitter/backup Santa?

Someone who fills in for someone if someone drops out.

How will pitch-hitters be chosen?

All pitch-hitters will be given a number that I will choose at random with a random number generator. If the pitch-hitter denies the request, I choose another one at random.

What is a wish?

A wish is a prompt for what you would like to receive. They can be specific and detailed (like a story description with a planned plot) or something more loose (like a short prompt). VAGUE wishes are different from the specific ones. Vague wishes are short prompts that encompass a large amount of ideas. Examples below:

Wish 1: Alfred goes Christmas shopping and runs into Ivan and they fight over the last cartoon of spiked eggnog. They end up splitting it and spending Christmas together. (Fluff, comedy, PG)

Wish 2: Amelia and Anya baking cookies together with flour all over their faces.

Wish 3: Something based off “One Last Dance” by Us the Duo (angst, any rating)

Vague wish 1: something with fluff!

Vague wish 2: cardverse au

Can I resubmit my form?

Re-submissions WILL be allowed before December 1st

[thelocalshooter]

The Local Shooter Vs. B-LIFE

(LS) Hello thank you being apart of a great come up and welcome, may we get a small introduction for the people reading who don’t know who you are, where are you from? Who are you? And what do you do?

(B) I'm B-L1FE or B to most. I am an Indiana native but for the last 4 years I've been in the Houston, TX area. I do everything except make beats. I'm a recording artist myself, I engineer, DJ, design, visuals, animations, curate. To add to all that I'm also the CEO of my own record label, FAITH×VICTORY Records. I also am the CEO of three other companies: SupportArt which is a promotion company that also houses a collective, and MeditatedMerch which is my clothing line. There is stuff I'm missing I'm sure but I'm basically the one stop shop for good underground business.

(LS) Being a Texas native how do you feel that the music scene has impacted you and your creativeness?

(B) The scene in the H has never really impacted me much but surround regions have amazingly unique sounds that are almost nice accents to a style like mine that blends hip hop with metal and alt rock. The Dallas FT. Worth area is full of this new wave sound that people like Jah or $not really helped catapult. Then south Florida is known for the wild hype sounds they give us like Pouya. I think these regions influenced me by just kind of telling me hey its ight to let go and just be me. I used to be signed under a different stage name and to be honest it was all bullshit. All the rules and what they wanted me to be. This area in general just let the monster loose I guess you could say.

(LS) You also run a blog on your own called supportart where its a platform for many creative artist in the underground, how did that come about and how long have you been running it?

(B) We are gonna be two years old in June which is unreal. We house 20 artists at the moment including myself. It honestly all started as a group chat of artists trying to put together a collective mixtape. Most people didnt come through but it actually opened a networking portal that led us to our first client who was King Kap who at the time was signed to Quality Control. We continue to work with him to this day and alongside the leaders I make the calls with (Yung N ICy, Fat Daddy J, Psych Ward, Penny the Shabba, Waveon, wa55up, & Kaster) we just had the flood gates opened on us. Alot of trial and error but never once have we been exposed or finessed. We work hard for the underground and have new ways coming soon to showcase hidden talent.

(LS) you seem to be a jack of all trades with graphics, producing, and much more! What do you feel is your strongest creative outlet for you and why?

(B) All the other crafts came from being a recording artist. I think I truly shine there. Away from the art and visuals, I've had some pretty big accomplishments as the rapper B-L1FE. Sometimes I forget to push my own stuff when I'm so busy pushing the underground or my artists. In 2019 I dropped my first and sophomore album which did well. Underviews did an article naming me a young mogul. I made the underground freshman list which was amazing to be with the likes of GNAR, Lord Xan, 916frosty, and more. But if anything compares it's my graphic design. I've been doing design since I was 14 and I'm almost 28 now. I still have every graphic I've done and my portfolio now have close to 6000 pieces. It's the main reason I could leave the day job life behind.

(LS) You also happen to be on all major platforms with a couple single releases, where did you first find your passion for music? Also how did you know that it was going to be a career for you?

(B) My parents didnt really do much parenting but they did raise me around terrific music. I have right now I believe 83 songs on all major platforms which is quite a bit since my contract from the previous record label didnt expire until April of 2018. My parents raised me around Dr. Dre, Bone Thugs, Snoop, Nas, Destinys Child, Master P, and all the greats. So I had this around me so much at 12 I started writing structured songs and didnt even realize it. Football was passion #1 but when I decided to rescend my commitment to Eastern Michigan University, I started toying around with being in a band. After awhile my vocal cords suffered from pure metal music. So I turned to rap which was also like a hobby. Then once I began to network in around 2012 I noticed I had something alot of others didnt. So it was then I knew. The rest was waiting for the contract I signed stupidly to expire. My biggest influences would be Chronic 2001 by Dr. Dre and Hybrid Theory by Linkin Park.

(LS) Your most recent single regurgitate and there’s a single called “Welcome To Hell” which did amazing numbers on Twitter! What was the whole process behind those songs and why did you pick that specific song to shows case the project?

(B) The process behind these two singles were both random to be honest. I put out my second EP back in December and wanted to take my time on my third album so I do what I call SINGLE SZN. I drop a new song on major platforms every week. It started with my first single of 2020 which was 'Never' and 'Welcome to Hell' was the second. With that one it was Angry Orphan's concept (featured artist) and he sent me his parts and a rough idea and I thought since we both are lyrical artists let's do what Em and Royce do when they collab and take these same schemes but change our words and small parts of our flows. It made a very cohesive song. The marketing is always the same for me. I let people know way before something drops that it's coming. The main key is promoting stuff more than once. So many people drop a track, run it through some group chats for that day, and then leave it to die. You gotta keep pushing content towards people. With 'Regurgitate' I hadn't even planned a part of it. I woke up to an email from SupportArt's head engineer, Penny the Shabba, that two beats. One was the beat for that song. Wrote it in 15 mins recorded it mixed it, he mastered it while I did the cover, and within 4 or so hours a full song was ready and off to distrubution.

(LS) What’s a regular day in the life of B-LIFE? Do you wake up in the morning go to the studio? Do you wake up in the morning and start interviewing people and check on your blog? What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

(B) The minute I wake up I need a shower. Cant start the day right without it. My studio and everything is at home so I just go off my daily planner. I keep everything written down including my own personal stuff and I usually pick whatever project I really dont wanna do to start. That way I'm getting through the 'blah' jobs with full energy and the shit I'll enjoy doing I save for later when I'm drained. Usually first thing I do business wise is touch base with my team. We use telegram so we can avoid social media. We a family so they come first. Next is clients. Always touch base with any clients waiting still or people I may have had halfway to the payment phase.

(LS) juggling music, blogs, graphics, and also a clothing brand how do you know when to find time for each creative outlet? Do you set a certain schedule for certain things? Do you have a certain day for certain things how does that work for you?

(B) I wish I knew. Everyday is dedicated to everything. I didnt want to say okay Tuesday we design only covers and logos but sell 5 videos the night before that Tuesday. I ask my clients for deadlines and bundle clients I tell them the timeframes. To be honest my turnaround is so quick and I've done this for so long I do it super fast. Some AMV clients get their video back in an hour with their mind blown. I try not to look at it as such a big work load. Whenever I do feel overwhelmed then its time for like 30 mins on the xbox or a jog. Somehow I never run out of creativity which certainly helps.

(LS) What’s your main goal as far as music? Do you plan on getting signed, are you looking to stay independent? Is music even your full on passion or are you looking to stay more on the blog and manager/artist development side or what is your main goal?

(B) Main goal is to get my label signed how Travis Scott did with Cactus Jack. It keeps the artist safe and in it's own way allows you to stay independent but with proper funding. Music is the main passion. I never say I manage my artists. We push them to build their own brands and we help them with that. I'm simply just keeping a platform all about love. The rest does it's own thing all by itself. Truly amazing.

(LS) Thank you again for being a part of this great come up, is there anything else you would like for the readers to know about you? Or should we keep our eyes peeled for anything to come in 2020? What are some links that you can share were new readers can go ahead and find your work?

(B) You can find everything related to be via my linktree which is linktr.ee/lifewitha1

Album 3's first single drops May 1st and you can already pre order it on Apple Music. Its titled 'Bob Ross' and ensomber produced it. Tune in. Tap in. We out here not just for us but for everybody with the it's always love approach. Just dont get shit twisted haha. You can find me everywhere but soundcloud. Bless up everybody and much love to The Local Shooter. Houston we strong!!

The Local Shooter Vs. B-L1FE

[squeemcsquee]

Anime Iowa 2019: Saturday

Saturday started off with a filling breakfast, compliments of Comfort Inn. I sorta miss the days of being able to run around on almost no food during a con, but I have learned that I get super hangry anymore if I try. So I loaded up!

Side note, I think hotels have really stepped up their breakfast offerings over the years. I don’t remember having options like this as a kid unless it was a higher-class business hotel that we’d occasionally stay in for my dad’s employer’s “employee getaway” weekends.

After breakfast, it was time to get into cosplay. And this is when I realized I’m getting a bit hooked on cosplaying at cons. On Friday, I’d stuck purely to regular, comfy clothes. And I had told myself that I’d packed “regular” stuff for Sat/Sun, in case I didn’t feel up to cosplaying...then I looked at what I’d actually packed. Every single clothing item was black. Because my cosplay options were the Impala and Night Vale Scout. So, unless I was gonna just be a Goth kid all weekend, I sorta boxed myself into cosplay, lol.

I tried out some anti-possession temporary tattoos I’d gotten from Wish. They looked amazing, but the smell... I don’t think it ever completely vanished that day. I’d get a whiff every time I moved my arms. They smelled heavily like those thick permanent markers in the metal bodies. 

Still, I was happy with the results.

Once I was ready to go, it was off to the con!

We started with “A Day In The Life of A Voice Actor” with Morgan Berry and Sarah Wiedenhoff. 

It was definitely entertaining, but I was wishing I’d had more coffee with breakfast. The room temperature and the quietness of the panel crowd were just enough to make me feel sleepy. I think that’s a common issue though, with panels right at the start of the con day. 

After that, @lechevaliermalfet and I split up. I headed over to the Hyatt to attend “The Story Behind Violet’s Eyes” while he attended a panel in the con center. When I arrived for my panel, there were a few hiccups before it began - a communication goof with the hotel meant that the room had not been unlocked until right at panel time. The hotel was under the mistaken impression that no one would be using the room until 1800, though there were panels scheduled off and on all day. So it took our host a couple minutes to get his notes organized, etc. No problem - it happens. 

“The Story Behind Violet’s Eyes” was interesting, though I do think perhaps the panelist could have benefited from a visual aid. It was a discussion of Violet Evergarden and PTSD representation in anime. Our panelist was from the podcast Trash Pandas Watch Anime. I haven’t checked the podcast out yet, though I intend to.

From there, I wandered and people-watched a bit. But I think Anime Iowa really suffered from their location being simply too big for a small con like theirs (approx 3k people). This was an event center clearly intended for events easily triple the size, and so I felt like I kept missing cosplayers/people because the halls often felt so empty. So I didn’t get the number of cosplay photos I expected. It also meant I didn’t even touch video gaming or tabletop, once we discovered were they were - the size of the rooms made the offerings seem sparse and the atmosphere wasn’t as welcoming. I don’t blame the con - I think it was just because of the location.

So I gave up and ran back to the hotel for lunch/relaxation. Thanks to losing track of time, I ended up not attending the concert I’d wanted to check out and instead went to Right Stuf’s panel with @lechevaliermalfet.

We got 2 awesome pieces of news at that panel, imo.

@lechevaliermalfet​ is the one who introduced me to El Hazard and I really enjoyed it, so the idea of upgrading our copy is excellent. 

I never finished Zetsubou Sensei after I was introduced to it, but I would love to do so one day. This seems like I’ll have the perfect excuse to get my own copy and do just that :)

Right Stuf ended the panel with prize drawings and here came the highlight of the weekend for us: @lechevaliermalfet actually won the grand prize!

That lovely box is the Mobile Suit Gundam Wing Collector's Ultra Edition Blu-Ray set. And yeah, it’s impressive. I’ve never seen Gundam Wing, but @lechevaliermalfet has and I suspect we’ll be watching it together soon.

After that, we had some time before our next panel, which was Greg Ayres’ “It Gets Better” event. We actually arrived only a couple minutes late, but we didn’t get into until 20-30 minutes had passed. See, every panel room at Anime Iowa had two entries - but the panel signs and the staff members were only at the “primary” doors for each room. For Greg Ayres, unbeknownst to us and a few other attendees, they closed the main door, which was then locked from the outside. A staffer was at the secondary door to let people in, but there was no signage. And this didn’t appear to have been communicated to other staffers, either - @lechevaliermalfet went to get someone from the info desk, who was just as baffled as we all were. 

Once inside, however, the panel was just as uplifting and empowering as always.

Our next event of the day was “AMV After Dark” which was the AMV contest for 18+ entries. There were only 4 videos, so after the initial voting, we just sat and reviewed previous years’ entries. 

Is this something other cons do? I haven’t been to enough AMV contests to know, but I have to say I like the idea of an 18+ option. 

Obviously, we couldn’t take photos of the actual AMVs, so I just have this quick shot of the screen setup for the event. Given the small number of attendees, this setup worked out quite well. 

And then it was on to J. Michael Tatum’s 18+ panel. Y’all, whether you know who this man is or not, this is the best 18+ voice actor event I’ve been to so far, hands-down. Why?

Well, because the rules are simple: No BS basic questions. Go for the jugular. 

Oh, and be prepared to be embarrassed. See, if you want to ask a question, you have to first win a coin toss. Otherwise, JMT will ask you an embarrassing, adult-rated question. So if you aren’t prepared to embarrass yourself in front of fellow attendees, don’t raise a hand to ask a question. 

It was full of laughs and shock and just a general good time.

(As always, any photos from 18+ events that I post are from before the event starts)

After his panel, the convention center was closing and we all got kicked out. @lechevaliermalfet and I hurried back to the hotel to drop our bags and so I could ditch my license plates, though I forgot to change shoes. Which wasn’t quite as big a mistake as it could have been, but I must remember for next time.

Because we went to the rave. And loved it.

Greg Ayres is an awesome DJ. Whether it was video game music, Baby Shark (yes, really), anime tunes, or whatever...everything blended well and the energy level was high. We ended up staying for over an hour, when originally the plan was to just “check it out.” 

That was when I regretted wearing my boots, since they aren’t exactly made for dancing. But I survived.

And that was Saturday!

My Anime Iowa 2019 coverage

1) Cosplayers of Anime Iowa, Part 1

2) Cosplayers of Anime Iowa, Part 2

3) Anime Iowa 2019: Friday

4) Anime Iowa 2019: Saturday (current post)

5) Anime Iowa 2019: Sunday 

[mudkipthemusical-blog]

Music of the Month: April 2017

I had next to no expectations for music I’d find this month, but even with that, I managed to find some highly intriguing and even powerful stuff. Looking back on everything, my picks for this month are very much on the “chill” side, which is a happy accident considering how I’ve been in the tail end of my semester and working my butt off. Otherwise, there’s a nice mix of genres as always, but there is one big difference this time around: I ran into my first tie for album of the month, which I’ll cut right to:

Albums of the Month: Inside Out (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) by Michael Giacchino…

…and Strangers by Balto

First off, let me just say that both of these works of cover art are amazing. Next, while these two albums are stylistically quite different, they each equally appeal to my tastes and they’re each so strong all the way through. Inside Out feeds my love for film score (and especially my Michael Giacchino kick), and in that, it fit in just the right notch between the different and the familiar. I love Michael Giacchino’s work because of how much he plays with recurring themes, and this album is no stranger to that strategy (nor is it a stranger to his knack for puns, wink wink), but the orchestration took this score in particular to another level for me. There’s such a wonderful blend of conventional strings and piano along with less conventional ones like the bells that give the entire score such an ethereal sound; it’s exactly what I thought it would sound like to live inside a brain. This is best represented on tracks like “Bundle of Joy” and “Abstract Thought.” …But for one last touch, I nearly lost it when I was listening to it while doing homework in the library and I discovered the trollish surprise at the end of the last track. I won’t spoil the fun for you, but if you’ve seen Inside Out, you’ll know what I’m talking about when you get to it. (sinister giggles)

Strangers feeds my love of indie rock and complex lyrics. Admittedly, I was primarily interested in the band because of their namesake, Balto the sled dog, whose heroic story was adapted into my childhood favorite movie. Logically, if I liked that so much, I should like the band, and luckily I did, but that's beside the point. The way I see it, this is the perfect music to have playing in the background at a barbecue. The overall vibe is so laid-back and pleasing to help you relax and have fun, but there's still plenty of substance to keep you interested. It helps that the general mix is so solid, and the lead singer's voice has such a nice color to it; it has just enough bite to it to snag your attention, but it's still warm enough to keep it from being too distracting. My standout tracks here were "Restless Generation," "Star of Bethlehem," and "A Year Lasts a Lifetime." While "Star of Bethlehem," is a super-mellow, toned-down ballad, the other two are uptempo jams with some pretty relatable and/or thought-provoking lyrics ("Everybody shuts off one way or another babe, you know it's true") that fit the barbecue aesthetic perfectly. Overall, it's nice not having too much stimulus in this album. I love being able to kick back, relax, and just take in the atmosphere. …Although, all this barbecue talk is giving me hamburger cravings.

5 Great Songs from this Month:

“Can’t Help Falling in Love” as performed by Pentatonix

I could write a book detailing my love for Pentatonix, but this cover of theirs in particular brings up a good point I have to make about them. While they’re such innovators in the a capella world (see “Daft Punk”), they know just when to dial it back and focus on rich harmonies. I already liked the original Elvis song, but this arrangement augments it in the best way possible. The blend of their voices sounds very innocent and vulnerable in a romantic way and the harmonies (oh gosh, the harmonies) left me waiting for every single word. I said before that I thought the cover of “Bohemian Rhapsody” that appeared on the same EP was a shoo-in for this list, but I found this just the slightest bit more polished. As great as Pentatonix is at transforming songs and making the most out of their limitations as a vocal group, this simple stuff that they do matters so much to me.

“Battle Scars” by Paradise Fears

I ran into this song via this AMV, which is a sentence I don’t think I’ve ever said before, but I’m still grateful that that’s how it happened. On the one hand, I love that AMV; it’s so beautifully drawn and it manages to pack so much emotion and meaning into a 30 second clip. On the other hand, the song itself is one of the most powerful ones I’ve heard in a while, and it came at a perfect time due to some personal struggles I’ve been having. It honestly makes me cry when I listen to it, but it does that in a way that motivates me. It’s a gorgeous reminder that no matter how difficult things may seem or no matter how far away the finish line may be, there’s always hope and there are always people to support you; even in the midst of fear and anxiety, everyone has the power to keep on going and make their way to greater things. It gives me the strength to keep marching on, what more can I say? My only complaint is that I’m a little bitter Apple Music will only let me stream a live version rather than the studio recording, but whatever form it’s in and whatever medium I encounter it through, I know this is a song that will stick with me for years to come. 

“Warm on a Cold Night” by HONNE

This song is like a perfect blend of the retro and the modern; while the production is very synth-heavy, right from the opening with the deep-voiced narrator, there’s this sense of classic swagger to set the mood to grab your attention. This altogether with HONNE’s voice creates this incredibly, for the lack of a better word, sexy aesthetic. As a tune, it’s minimalist, but you just have to appreciate the production value that went into the recording. Like the songs from Strangers, I like how it feels like there’s a lot going on, but you can still kick back and take it all in; you don’t need everything turned up to 12 to have an enjoyable listen.

“Hey Mami” by Sylvan Esso

This tune has a pretty similar aesthetic to that of “Warm on a Cold Night,” but that didn’t really occur to me at first because I discovered it via my university’s all-female a capella group. I liked that the recording was this simple a capella groove supporting the poetry in the melody, and later was pleasantly surprised when the synth bass dropped after the first verse. The texture still feels very simple, but that clash between the synth and the voices works so well. Going back to the poetry, the story’s about being catcalled and reacting to it, which is a pretty uncommonly covered topic in itself, and the lyrical delivery feels so rapid-fire and constantly flowing, which kept me intrigued. For a pop tune, it’s just so unique, and I love finding new flavors like this one’s.

“LOVE. (FEAT. ZACARI)” by Kendrick Lamar

I’ve been very recently trying to get into hip hop because it was never really a genre that I was interested in before. In particular, I’ve been interested in Kendrick Lamar because one of my good friends is a huge fan of his, and while it was just before I joined Tumblr, I had listened to To Pimp a Butterfly and was blown away by the sheer amount of artistry and power that went into it. Naturally, I wanted to see how Kendrick could’ve topped that with DAMN., and while I have to be honest in that I didn’t like it as much as To Pimp a Butterfly it was still great! This track in particular surprised me because every other song on DAMN. felt so harsh and intense, whereas this felt a lot more vulnerable and sentimental. It may be more pop than hip hop, but it’s such a beautiful package with the beat and the back-and-forth of Kendrick and Zacari’s voices. Just hearing Kendrick sing “I wanna be with you” makes me smile, and I appreciate getting to hear a different side from him, even for only one track.

As I mentioned, I’ve been managing the end of my semester, and all of these picks were all great ways to relax, whether I was playing them in the background while studying or taking a break and listening to them more seriously. All of these, except for the Pentatonix track maybe the Inside Out album since I’ve been working my way through the archives of Disney/Pixar score, weren’t expected either, which made it fun! May is going to be another one of those months, which ought to be exciting, but I’m expecting at least 3 big album releases already for June, I’m not quite sure how to feel on that front. Either way, until next month (and hopefully not days into it)!

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. it’s 10:30 instead of 10 when i am starting this post.

i stayed up until midnight last night because i am REALLY COOL!!! then i got up at 7:40. 

i know why my dreams keep feeling so weird when i wake up. it’s because it’s an hour later than usual so the sun is directly in my face and it feels like i got up late. my dreams are me yelling at myself to get up because i am late for school. then it’s 7:30 in the morning when i do wake up.

there was something about the one last night though. dang it. i have too many things going on. can’t remember stuff that happened overnight. they might be loosely based on the bedtime stories i’ve been listening to now that i think about it though. 

the other night i was flying... i was a bird. i guess? only some of the time. i was in a house and there was a cat. i got out through the garage i think. i didn’t know what to do with myself after that though.

lately i’ve just been wanting a hug but i don’t think i’m going to get that. and if it happened in real life i wouldn’t be very happy about it.

i taught my class this morning. it went fine i think. i talked to one of my students about the grading system since he was the last one to leave. they all finished like ten minutes early so i got a nice break before my office hour. 

i felt like i couldn’t build up any momentum all day though. i went to the care area appointment i had to work on the medical drop and they told me my appointment had been scheduled for yesterday. i mean maybe i said monday? but i’m pretty sure it was tuesday because that’s what i had written down directly after the phone call, and also, the monday appointment would have been in the middle of my office hour, which doesn’t make sense.

so i was turned away. but the lady at the front counter gave me some directions regarding dropping a class so i filled out that request when i got back to the department and got that turned in. i’ve done... basically everything i can do right now. i’m still stressed. now my appointment has been pushed back for two weeks so there’s going to be less than a week before the deadline by the time i do actually see someone whose job it is to do these things.

at coffee cookie time i was so ready to have A Conversation with samantha about the “cute” thing but she never called me cute. so i had all this energy and riled-up feelings and nowhere to put them. i felt... put out. like maybe i should just never do anything about my situations and i guess they will magically resolve by themselves? because preparing what exactly i wanted to say ahead of time to break this new and very irritating pattern was just a waste of time. and i don’t have a lot of time.

maybe she got bored with me? maybe luis talked to her? he didn’t tell me he did.

oh yeah also i made muffins and brought those in for jennica’s birthday. most of us had at least one- suzanne refrained because since we just had halloween she wants to go easy on the sweets. 

i was working on grading when harrison came in to hang out. i ended up talking to him for like two hours, me and him and jennica and suzanne and then at the end luis after suzanne left. after he left i finished up my grading and then went home. i was almost hit by cars FOUR TIMES on the way home.

the first time was because i was trying to get over to the left turn lane from the bike lane. i looked back to make sure i had enough room, signalled, and started to turn when the car down the hill suddenly gunned it to try and pass me as i moved into the lane. i had to pull hard to the side, and then i was wobbling, and i still had to get over, so i moved to the left lane and got honked at long and hard by the car behind them. that was the second time.

it’s not like i wasn’t wearing headlights and tail lights. they were on and bright. i just had the batteries replaced. and i signalled, AND originally made sure i had room.

the third time was when i was biking uphill directly after the light. i pass by a parking garage. there were a bunch of cars trying to get in and out right at that second so i waited my turn. then when i tried to pass a car that had pulled out to the exit and sat there a few seconds decided to leave as soon as i got directly in front of it. again, i had bright headlights on.

the third and a half time was because both a bus and another car were parked sideways across the road.

the fourth time was when i was passing through a crosswalk. the car in front of me had stopped like it wanted to make a right turn so i stopped and let it start turning in front of me. after it passed, when i got out into the crosswalk area to keep going, it decided to get back on the road and almost hit me on its way back left.

and i had to stop so many times at the roundabouts on the way home that i never even got up into 6th gear.

it was so angering that when i got home i didn’t even want to do anything but complain about it. i sent a message asking who put the stupid juice in the water and then i put some soy thing in the oven and waited. dinner was just ok. not sure i’m gonna get those “chick’n” things again from that brand though.

i ended up watching youtube for a million years instead of doing my quantum homework, YET AGAIN. i want to say that i’ve been over exerting myself for too long but like... i dunno, i can’t tell if i’m tired or lazy. everyone tells me how hard i work and it’s like, i took a whole three hours off today! what are you talkin about?? i only worked nine hours! IF THAT!

should just be a work machine. cranking out an entire homework assignment a day. i feel horrible for ONLY getting done one section of grading. but all these departments keep giving me the runaround and i get so exhausted running from the drc to the cwc to the dso to the physics office to the graduate advisor back to the drc back to the dso but oops they didn’t pen in my appointment for the right time come back next week...

it’s like they design it so that only people who don’t have depression can get accommodations for depression. and i don’t have any time to rest between these paperwork expeditions and homeworks due and classes to teach and grades to calculate and finances to manage and somehow still be working on therapy strategies and trying to develop social connections so i don’t feel so fricking isolated.

the longer i go without seeing the care area the longer it’s gonna take for me to be able to find an individual therapist who takes my insurance and isn’t also a hack. i am trying to delegate but unreliable OFFICIAL OFFICES make that hella difficult. and i just don’t have time to do it myself right now.

i’m too nervous to start my homework. that’s the real problem. i feel like i lost too much momentum and i won’t be able to remember anything i’ve even done in the classes up to now. and then my brain is all,

instead of giving me useful things like what we did in class last week. i lost a day of notes too because no one shows up for classical mechanics. jennica doesn’t take very good notes... i’ll have to make do with what she’s got, maybe tomorrow? maybe not. depends on what i can get done.

usually this only happens once a semester. something will slow me down for a week or two and then i’ll have to claw my way back up to where the rest of the class is.

THIS SEMESTER IT’S HAPPENED TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE PLAYING CATCH-UP, I LOVE BEING STRESSED AND TIRED AND OVERWORKED ALL THE TIME, I LOVE BEING SICK, I LOVE WHEN MOM CALLS ME RANDOMLY AND SAYS IT’S *MY* JOB TO MAKE DAD FEEL BETTER ABOUT ME BEING MAD THAT HE DID BAD THINGS AND THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO YOUR ACTIONS, BABY-MAN!!!

it doesn’t help on the tests either because playing catch-up is not the same as reviewing. AND i don’t have as much energy as my classmates for doing practice exams, nor do i have as much time, because since i don’t have as much energy for ANYTHING, i’m still doing this week’s homework while everyone is getting ahead.

at 10 instead of starting to write i loaded up an episode of pokemon that i never saw. the meowth one where he talks to the viewer about how he learned to talk and stuff. hashtag relatable, man. guess by the time i get my phd i’ll be a freak too.

(i already am but that’s beside the point)

something good today is that i am now only 1 week behind on grading (this week’s lab doesn’t count as behind yet). i’m going to stop grading now until the weekend, when i need to have 6 more sections done by tuesday in order to really be “caught up.” but we have a long weekend so this is fine. it’s fine. it’s fine! i’m fine. this is fine.

i don’t got time to cry.

something good today... positive self talk is hard. 

it’s harder with mood swings.............

i’ve been doing pretty good about. like. eating breakfast every day. i think i’ve only missed it once since i started grad school in mid august. and i eat at least a snack at dinner time every day. lunch has been trickier because my days are a dumpster fire of stuff to do but i try to at least have a snack then too. i think it’s been doing really good for my metabolism. and i’m just not exhausted and miserable and sleepy in the mornings! i’ve only fallen asleep in class once and it was after a REALLY miserable night. i think it was the day after my all-nighter 40 hour awakness adventure. my body realized i’d skipped a day when i did finally get ~9 hours of sleep.

you know what i like? i never talk about it any more. i liked the saturday morning sonic cartoon from like 1991. it was gucci. 

the fist time i ever saw it was from an amv set to a song i’d never heard. and now i really like both of those things. i will post it in a minute because i like it and you might too. 

like the cartoon had its strange moments but it’s an early 90s cartoon and i’m gonna hazard a guess that there were some... executive decisions in the premises of some of those episodes. and, overall, the last season, and ESPECIALLY the last five episodes, are a solid 9.5/10. i still have the box set in my room with my old writing printouts. i might... want that here actually, if i didn’t bring it along on a whim and it’s sitting with my movies and i forgot it’s there because i haven’t watched any of my movies in three months lol. 

i just never hear anyone talking about it! i found an animorphs community and that’s good. and satam sonic wasn’t exactly my childhood, i didn’t find it until i was like 13 or 14. but it’s charming, animation errors and low budget and jaleel white and all.

actually i take it back. jaleel white is the best sonic voice actor. fight me.