#drinking as a coping mechanism is so me fb

[yanderederee]

Hi babies♡ I dont feel like writing (I have like, (5+ WIPs right now), but I DO feel like hearing people’s headcanons on characters/series so I can post them and share my thoughts (im a little drunk)

SO PLEASE SEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS AND HEADCANONS ON THINGS SO I CAN SHARE THEM AND GIGGLE WITH YOU ALL !!! ♡

I’ll delete this later but pls interact

[oceanid-writes]

hi-hi, may i have a mha matchup, please? otherwise just ignore me lol.

bisexual | girl | INTP

appearance: I'm 164cm(~5'4) tall, slim&athletic, and I usually give off the 'cute good girl' vibe, so ppl are shocked when they hear me cursing a lot lol. Long brown hair, my deer eyes have the same color, I have purple circles under them - I wear eyeglasses. My clothing style is very girly, mostly wearing skirts and dresses(soft girl/light academia - kind of a mixture of them). There's a tiny, barely visible scar above my right eyebrow, I've opened our car's door on my head lmao.

personality: I have a confusingly dual, hard-to-like personality. First impression is either a stoic resting bitch face bitch or the awkward, cute and polite girl.

I'm faking myself and good at keeping my emotions under control, I'm really adaptable(sometimes full-stoic, other times talkative) too. I HATE showing weaknesses, I'm hiding them from even people I love, I simply can't stand emotional vulnerability. Making me talk about my issues, problems? Nearly impossible.

My way of thinking is quite realistic and highly critical, I have opinions about everything, I get passionate while sharing them, deep conversations are keeping me alive. Though, I rarely share these lol. Sometimes I'm even told that I'm wise? Kind of.

I'm the CLUMSIEST person, and kinda awkward too, cringe situations always find me. Quite easily get jumped/scared/pranked. My humour is colorful: TEASING, dark, morbid, absurd, trollish. Sometimes I can come off phlegmatic, rude and very-very mean. Gonna roast the shit out of you. Also, I zone out a LOT always asking back 'what did you say?'

I'm generally a kind, polite, caring and patient person tho. I take loyalty quite seriously, but I don't get attached easily. I have a kind of unapproachable, 'emotions ew' vibes, but I have a softie side who adores cuddling and giving love, affection to people - it's kind of a selfish coping mechanism for me at the same time, bc the feeling being needed is incredibly comforting for me - so I it's a mania, an inner-pressure for me to be a reliable figure. Also, I can be just a dumb idiot and loosen up with my little gang if I'm in the mood. Once my close friend told me that I'm an unpredictable person. I need a lot of alone time&space.

I'm also vain, snobbish, pro procastrinator, lazy and selfish just to mention some negative traits. I have massive self-hatred spirals, thinking I am a burden, unworthy for love, useless on my bad days; slight imposter syndrome I guess.

My love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and when I have to express it, I'm best with acts of service. I'm not so romantic, valentines day and similar stuff just gonna make me roll my eyes, but I'll adapt to my partner's needs.

hobbies/likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, travelling,  mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes, like Sodder siblings, Tara Calico etc.) and (unsolved) crimes, trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music, cats, thunderstorms, rainy days, cider, tequila, going out and drinking with friends, smoking sometimes, family time, psychology, sexual psychology, reading trash/funny FB comments, massaging others, deep converstaions, surrealism, anything indie

Hi! Based on everything you said, I think the yandere best fit for you would be Miruko! Sorry if this matchup is a bit short, I am not feeling well but I’m trying to push through these and it’s hard to write a ton when I can’t think completely straight.

Warnings: Kidnapping, yandere behaviour.

Boku No Hero Academia Yandere Matchup

With most other yanderes, it does matter who their darling is, but Miruko won’t care if you’re a civilian, villain, or pro-hero. She still finds you adorable. Even if she meets you will your mean-looking resting face first, the second she sees how polite and cute you are, it’s all over. Miruko is a very confident person, so I do see her getting along best with some more awkward and less happy-go-lucky. It’s a good thing that she’s also pretty realistic (being a pro-hero who has to risk her life on a daily basis can do that to you) and she loves to talk about important matters with you and get feedback. You better show her your soft side though, because sometimes after a long day of work, Miruko just wants to cuddle with you. 

The other great thing about Miruko, is that she does not care what you’ve done, or how you act. If she wasn’t a yandere sure, she might not see you in the same light, but Yandere Miruko completely infantilizes all of your bad actions and behaviours. She thinks of it as “oh y/n’s negative traits are so adorable”. Of course, this does expand to worse things too, like if you need to be alone or just have time away from her, she will twist it into being a joke or you being in a bad mood. She’s completely delusional, and while she will listen to what you say, if it’s something she really doesn’t want to hear, she ignores it and continues on. 

She will totally kidnap you too, (it doesn’t matter if you’re ignoring her or accepting her feelings, she’ll just want you all to herself) and make sure you can’t see anyone else. Miruko gets very jealous easily, and she likes being the center of your attention.

When she’s home just look at her, ok? She wouldn’t want to take away your tv and book privileges, again.

[hereformcdonaldshonestly]

Hi, may I have a romantic mha matchup, please? dear lord i hope i haven't sent u this yet lol

Fleur | bisexual | girl | INTP

Appearance: I'm 164cm(~5'4) tall, slim&athletic, and I usually give off the 'cute good girl' vibe, so ppl are shocked when they hear me cursing a lot lol. Long brown hair with bangs, my deer eyes have the same color - I wear eyeglasses. My clothing style is very girly, mostly wearing skirts and dresses(sometimes elegant, sometimes rather cute outfits). There's a tiny, barely visible scar above my right eyebrow, I've opened our car's door on my head lmao.

Personality: I have a confusingly dual, hard-to-like personality. First impression is either a stoic resting bitch face bitch or the awkward, cute and polite girl.

I'm faking myself and good at keeping my emotions under control, I'm really adaptable(sometimes full-stoic, other times talkative). I HATE showing weaknesses, I'm hiding them from even people I love, I simply can't stand emotional vulnerability. Making me talk about my issues, problems? Nearly impossible.

My way of thinking is quite realistic and highly critical, I have opinions about everything, I get passionate while sharing them, deep conversations are keeping me alive. Sometimes I'm event told that I'm wise? Kind of.

I'm the CLUMSIEST person, and kinda awkward too, cringe situations always find me. Quite easily get jumped/pranked. My humour is colorful: TEASING, dark, morbid, absurd, trollish. Sometimes I can come off phlegmatic, rude.

I'm generally a kind, polite, caring and patient person tho. I take loyalty quite seriously, but I don't get attached easily. I have a kind of unapproachable, 'emotions ew' vibes, but I have a softie side who adores cuddling and giving love, affection to people - it's kind of a selfish coping mechanism for me at the same time, bc the feeling being needed is incredibly comforting for me. Also, I can be just a dumb idiot and loosen up with my little gang if I'm in the mood. Once my close friend told me that I'm an unpredictable person. I need a lot of alone time&space.

I'm also vain, snobbish, pro procastrinator, lazy and selfish just to mention some negative traits. I have massive self-hatred spirals, thinking I am a burden, unworthy for love on my bad days. Slight imposter syndrome I guess.

My love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and when I have to express it, I'm best with acts of service. I'm not so romantic, valentines day and similar stuff just gonna make me roll my eyes.

Hobbies/Likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, travelling,  mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes, like Sodder siblings, Tara Calico etc.), trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music, cats, thunderstorms, rainy days, cider, tequila, going out and drinking with friends, smoking sometimes, family time, psychology, sexual psychology, reading trash/funny FB comments, massaging others, deep converstaions, surrealism, anything indie

For you I chose:

Momo Yaoyorozu!

Reason

I feel like she would help balance you out, at first I thought about Katsuki Bakugou but then I decided that probably wouldn't work out the best. She would balance it out, trying to get you to talk about anything that's bothering you, but she isn't forcing you!

Why They Love You

Momo loves your soft side, she loves that you can feel comfortable around her. She also loves how wise you are! She feels like she can ask you anything and you'll be there to answer. Momo always respects your space and always is aware of what is going on, just so she doesn't make you stressed on accident.

Date Headcanons

As a date idea, Momo suggested a murder mystery tour! Where basically you walk downtown with a group and a tour guide, picking up clues and trying to solve the mystery! Turns out it was like one big walking version of Clue!

You guys went out for date night! You both agreed that you would go without a plan and see where it takes you, after an hour of walking, driving, and just talking, and that's you see the glowing sign for poem reading! You guys went in and sat down with some drinks, watching people read poems, sing, and talk about different topics. You guys had a great time together!

General Headcanons

Momo always asks about what you're reading that week. She always wants to learn more about the literature you like so she can read it as well! She knows how much you love classical literature so she starts suggesting different writers and even tried to buy you different books that she thought you would like!

Whenever it comes to a romantic holiday, she knows how you aren't a huge fan of them. She'll maybe surprise you with flowers or dinner, but she'll still treat it as a normal day. She surprisingly is the same way, not really understanding why it was a big deal. Unless you want to go and do something for it, she is completely okay with staying home and watching documentaries!

Songs That Remind Me of You Both

Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier

Yellow by Coldplay

I hope you have a great day!

[septembernightfall]

You

I

It has been 53 days 13 hours and 34 mins since he passed away. It’s either I think about him or something reminds me of him. My bad best coping mechanisms are drinking, being a hoe, and, my fave, hurting myself then cry until I fall asleep. Note: NOT HURTING MYSELF PHYSICALLY. PLEASE.. SELF-HARM WON’T HELP. :( IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN YOUR CHEST RIGHT NOW SEND ME A MESSAGE THANKS. IM HERE TO LISTEN AND PROBABLY GIVE YOU A SHITTY ADVICE BUT ILL HELP AS MUCH AS I CAN.

Anyway, tonight I though of ranting about how it started. 

He was never in my radar. He belonged to that group of men with perverted personality. I never liked him. I hated them lol. But my friend told me he’s different from them.. he was smart and he cooks really well. I’m like. okay. what’s this a Japanese manga. Sorry this is real world and I believe he’s like the rest of his fRiEnDs. Someone also told me that he likes me. I also caught him looking at my ass as I was walking outside the office.

And then I don’t know one time he sent me a friend request in FB. My instinct was.. hmm why not. HAHHAHAA dafuq right. And cool.. he likes memes too. Not just regular memes, but dank.. good quality. Hahah I love it. We were non-stop reacting and sharing each other’s memes. But nope.. still no messaging.

All the boys in the office have this gathering every year where they rent a place and hire women to dance for entertainment.... cool right? perverts. It’s confidential btw but I have sources. hahaha. Anyway that night, I posted a patinging and he was super drunk and commented on my pic “mahilig ka din pala sa art no” I knew he was drunk so I just said yeah haha. Then later on he messaged me:

End of part 1

[goingtosueyou]

Tag

I was tagged by @blossoming-joon ~ Thank you so much, you’re a sweetheart! 

Last

- Drink?: Pepsi

- Call?: my dad 

- Text?: “It took me three hours to stick some posters and I’ve just watched Ponyo with my dad.” 

- Song you listened to?: Wings by BTS

- Time you cried?: Today because I’m a crybaby and cry almost everyday

Have You Ever

- Dated someone twice?: Nope - never ever. If we’re done, we’re done for good and that means we can’t be anything anymore.

- Kissed someone and regretted it?: Kissing is fun so I prefer not to overthink such things.

- Been cheated on?: Yup yup yup.

- Lost someone special?: Yes.

- Been depressed?: I have a long history with depression but I’m trying my best not to let it take over my life and I’m trying to find better coping mechanisms. 

- Gotten drunk and thrown up?: In high school I used to do that a lot. I was a mess but throwing up at a party caused for me and a good friend of mine to really talk for the first time. 

Favorite Colors

A certain shade of green because it reminds me of someone’s eye colour. 

Yellow because it makes me think of Fitzgerald and van Gogh.

Blue because I’m blue all the time. 

In the Last Year Have You

- Made any new friends?: One for sure.

- Fallen out of love?: I’ve done that last year, haven’t been trying to fall in love ever since.

- Laughed so hard you cried?: Yes.

- Found out someone was talking about you?: I am surrounded by ssssnakes.

- Met someone who changed you?: I don’t think so.

- Found out who your friends were?: Some people really showed their true colours and even if it hurt me and made me feel very lonely, it’s better to know sooner rather than later.

- Kissed someone on your FB friends list?: Yep

General

- How many people from your FB friends do you know IRL?: I think less than half of them.

- Do you have any pets?: An imaginary jellyfish called Frida.

- Do you want to change your middle name?: I have two middle names and I don’t think I’ll change them because my parents chose them and I got used to them.

- What did you do for your birthday last year?: I spent it on a train with my best friend watching American Hustle Life starring fetus BTS. We were on the way to a festival so in the evening we met other friends, attended a picnic and had some drinks and talked and talked and talked.

- What time did you wake up today?: 9:30. I always wake up around 9 AM.

- What were you doing last night at midnight?: I was either watching Attack on Titan, either reading a short story by Haruki Murakami.

- What’s something you can’t wait for?: Marrying Min Yoongi.  BTS CONCERT 

- What’re you listening to right now?: American Horror Story theme

- Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: I had a cat named Tom, does that count?

- Something that gets on your nerves?: People chewing loudly, mean people.

- Most visited website?: Youtube, Ao3, Tumblr

- Hair color?: Dark brown.

- Short hair or long hair?: Long hair.

- Do you have a crush on anyone?: Min Yoongi.

- What do you like about yourself?: I love that I’m able to make people happy through the stories I write. And I love to make people laugh.

- Want any piercings?: I have 5, I’d like 8.

- Blood type?: 0-

- Nicknames?: Blue

- Relationship status?: Single

- Zodiac sign?: Leo

- Pronouns?: She/Her

- Favorite show?: American Horror Story

- Tattoos?: 2 - a bee on my left arm and a tiny 707 on my shoulder blade.

- Right or left handed?: Right-handed

- Ever had surgery?: 3 molars removed.

- Piercings?: Ears, 5.

- Sports?: I can’t play sports to save my life. 

- Vacation?: I try to travel as much as I can. In a few days I’m visiting Berlin with my parents.

- Trainers?: ???

More in General;

- Eating: Water

- Drinking: French fries

- About to watch: drama on Youtube

- Waiting for: a mirracle

- Get married: nope

- Career: doctor

Which is Better

- Hugs or kisses

- Lips or eyes?:

- Shorter or taller?:

- Younger or older?:

- Nice arms or stomach?:

- Hookup or relationship?:

- Troublemaker or hesitant?:

Have You Ever

- Kissed a stranger: Yep and he was an ass.

- Drank hard liquor: I shouldn’t anymore.

- Lost glasses: Never ever.

- Turned someone down: Quite a few times.

- Had sex on the first date: Didn’t have the chance to do that yet

- Broken someone’s heart: Yes because I finally started to care about myself more.

- Had your heart broken:  Too many times.

- Been arrested: No and I hope it will stay this way.

- Cried when someone died: David Bowie.

- Fallen for a friend: Two times

Do You Believe In

- Yourself: I guess so.

- Miracles: Yep

- Love at first sight: No. Crushes and love are different things. 

- Santa: Nope

- Kiss on the first date: Why not?

- Angels: Yes. Have you heard of Park Jimin?

Other

- Best friend’s name?: Lavinia

- Eye color?: Dark Brown

- Favorite movie?: I’ll say “Girl Interrupted” 

- Favorite actor?: I don’t really care about these things.

I am tagging @serendipityyellowgreen @19jikook9597 @yeontanismybiaswrecker @sleepy-suga22. It’s not a must - do it only if you feel like.

[gothicpoets]

Get to know me tag!! 

Thank you @markincolour & @peachjy for tagging me!! I enjoyed reading all of your answers and hoping you’re both having a lovely day! 💖

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people THE LAST: 1. drink: coffee 2. phone call: my mom 3. text message: one of my best friends 4. song you listened to: Cherry Bomb - Nct-127 5. time you cried: the other day? i cry every week as a coping mechanism for my weekly sufferings  6. dated someone twice: i never dated anyone... kinda thankful 7. kissed someone and regretted it: i never kissed anyone before  8. been cheated on: nah 9. lost someone special: kinda?  10. been depressed: I’ve been depressed since 1998 lmao 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah... but the hangover is so awful LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. Blue, Black, Purple IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yes!!! I love all of them 16. fallen out of love: yeah kinda  17. laughed until you cried: yeah especially whenever i tell stories to my friends over snapchat about something and i can’t control myself aksakjsdks 18. found out someone was talking about you: yeah i had to find out from my best friend and it was soo funny and petty but that’s a long ass story 19. met someone who changed you: all of my best friends :( 20. found out who your friends are: yes, especially after high school 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no, i deactivated fb years ago anyways GENERAL: 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: don’t have 1 anymore so none?  23. do you have any pets: yes!!!!!!!! i have two doggies :D their names are Shelly and Wrangler 💖💖 24. do you want to change your name: i want to change my legal name to Tina but that seems like a lot of work 25. what did you do for your last birthday: not to sound like that person but i was alone on my 18th bday and took selfies and napped  26. what time did you wake up: 7:44am? 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: i was getting ready to sleep omg i’m getting so old... this entire summer the latest I’ve stayed up was probably 5am? but i mostly sleep early bc i tend to get tired easily just by breathing 28. name something you can not wait for: getting my own place and decorating it with my future significant other!! i’m so emo 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: this morning before i dropped her off at work 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: wished i had more close friends irl? i have more internet friends than those irl and it’s pretty sad but ppl around here suck 31. what are you listening to right now: i just wanna run - the downtown fiction 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i don’t think so and besides that’s such an ugly name i wouldn’t even remember 33. something that is getting on your nerves: not being properly trained at work personally so i gotta annoy my coworkers whenever i have an issue that i can’t resolve myself :/ plus i’m the youngest in my department so it’s kinda hard but i’m pulling through 34. most visited website: this demon site itself sadly 35-37. tag yourself i’m the fact that 35-37 doesn’t exist 38. hair color: dark brown and my roots are growing back with my black hair but i’m planning on re-dyeing it before i start school soon 39. long or short hair: i look better in long hair but short hair is good on me sometimes... i kinda regret cutting my hair back in May :( 40. do you have a crush on someone: i used to like 2 ppl when i was in school but they both have bfs now so i kinda backed off but we’re all acquaintances tho so it’s nice! 41. what do you like about yourself: my humor and music taste 42. piercings: none, my ears closed when i was little so i never got the chance to re-pierce them and i feel like i’ll look weird with pierced ears since i haven’t had them in years omg 43. blood type: is it sad that i genuinely don’t know or i forgot?  44. nickname: my friends call me Teeny and it’s really cute but some friends call me other stuff too but it’s mostly a meme between us! i enjoy when ppl give me their own nicknames for me aaaahhh :( 45. relationship status: depressed 46. zodiac: capricorn 47.pronouns: she/her 48. favorite tv show: grey’s anatomy, the walking dead, bob’s burgers, the flash, teen wolf 49. tattoos: i have 3!! i got 2 peonies on my left shoulder that’re together, then cherry blossoms on my arm and a heart near my wrist 50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: none 52. piercing: none 53. sport: i don’t like sports so therefore i can’t read 54. vacation: hoping i’ll visit Vietnam one day!! 55. pair of trainers: converse MORE GENERAL: 56. eating: i love sushi 57. drinking: i literally bleed both water and coffee it’s so bad that’s the only two i drink all the time  58. I’m about to go: eat before i get ready for work which i don’t wanna go at all rip :( 59. waiting for: my life to be consistent knowing what to do with my life bc i honestly don’t know anything at all and nobody’s telling me what 2 do 60. want: to be in a relationship and have monies... oh and also a corgi i love them so much 61. get married: hoping so one day!!! 62. career: I wanna become a writer :) WHICH IS BETTER: 63. hugs or kisses: both 64. lips or eyes: both 65. shorter or taller: taller 66. older or younger: older 67. nice arms or nice stomach: doesn’t matter 68. hookup or relationship: relationship 69. troublemaker or hesitant: Jinyoung HAVE YOU EVER: 70. kissed a stranger: nope 71. drank hard liquor: yeah 72. lost glasses/contact lenses: i lost my glasses once and i ended up sitting on it later and breaking it asiosakaskl 73. turned someone down: yeah 74: sex on the first date: nope 75. broken someone’s heart: i guess so?? it all ties with the drama that is really funny  76. had your heart broken: nah 77. been arrested: nope 78: cried when someone died: yes 79. fallen for a friend: no DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 80. yourself: sometimes 81: miracles: depends? 82. love at first sight: to me, u can like their appearance and all but u can’t really fall in love with them without knowing anything about them! it’s unrealistic  83. santa claus: nope 84. kiss on the first date: idk 85. angels: Angel7... i miss them

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: i have a few best friends and i love them all so much.. they know who they are if they read this lol 91: eye color: brown 92: favorite movie: i don’t have one omg i’m too picky

[dirtyhands]

i put this on fb but also thought i’d share here. the first is from 8 months ago, around the time that i figured out just how destructive my drinking habits truly were. the second is recent. it was a bit bumpy and difficult and kind of ugly at first, but i stuck with it. and i still drink, but it is and has been SO SO significantly less and it is definitely no longer a main coping mechanism and i’m feeling so much better and positive about being able to get here. a lot of aspects of my new job scared me (facing the literal fragility of life every day???) in terms of possibly responding to them with negative behaviors and i am so happy to say that is not the case. it’s so crazy to me that i spent at least 6 nights of the week heavily heavily drinking and being able to regain my sense of self is honestly astonishing. i wasn’t sure if i could do it, but here i am. i did it, and i’m proud to still be doing it.

[petsupplyandmore]

Having to Say Goodbye to My Beloved Canine

On March 28, 2019, I needed to say goodbye to my finest pal, a German Shorthair Pointer combine named Riggins. He had been my emotional rock for thus lengthy. How was I going to outlive the ache of dropping him with out him there to assist me?

The Final Few Months of Riggins’ Life

Pictures courtesy Wendy Newell.

It had grow to be clear within the final 6 months of Riggins’ life that he was slowing down. I made adjustments to our environment to accommodate his declining mobility. I coated our residence in these interlocking mats you usually see in youngsters’s play rooms. When his hind legs have been too arthritic to grip these, I swapped them out for yoga mats.

His place within the automobile was moved from being buckled into the again seat, to only being within the again seat, to the way in which again. About three months in the past, Riggins determined a automobile journey was a good time to poop. I invested in washable canine diapers. When these have been annoying, I swapped them out for the disposable variety. I ended a 13-year behavior of closing the bathroom lid so Riggins wouldn’t drink out of it and as a substitute let him as the peak appeared to provide him simpler entry.

When Is It the Proper Time to Say Goodbye?

Pictures courtesy Wendy Newell.

I took a variety of “when do I do know it’s time to place my canine to sleep” quizzes. I’m positive they’re useful to some however they simply confused me and made me offended, an emotion I’d really feel rather a lot within the coming weeks. Riggins was nonetheless fortunately consuming, he would nonetheless get excited and summon up the power to play, and he may nonetheless stand up on his personal and stroll round — though slowly. He handed the exams. In accordance with them, it wasn’t time but. I didn’t assume the quizzes put sufficient weight on the ache he was in.

I upped his ache capsules. He appeared higher however it was only a façade. The poor man was simply drugged sufficient to make it appear to be he was okay. After just a few sleepless nights I known as an organization that does in-home euthanasia and made an appointment.

Riggins’ Final Few Days

Pictures courtesy Wendy Newell.

My regular coping mechanism is to dam out what’s dangerous and I didn’t wish to try this. I wished to recollect every part I may about Riggins previous few days with me. I spent as a lot time as I attainable with Riggins, laying subsequent to his mattress, giving him treats and getting angrier.

There are a variety of levels for grieving the lack of a pet. What number of relies on who you discuss to however they have a tendency to incorporate denial, shock, anger, guilt, melancholy and acceptance. I’ve spent most of my time in anger. I stunned myself at how deep and darkish my anger was. I used to be offended that Riggins wasn’t feeling effectively, I used to be offended that I must stay with out him and I used to be livid on the world for not hurting like I used to be. I needed to attempt very laborious to maintain my anger from making me imply. I didn’t all the time succeed.

Riggins has all the time been delicate to my emotions and I had spent the previous few weeks doing my finest to be stoic round him. His final day was completely different, he stopped having to be sturdy for me and I for him. It was a reduction for each of us.

Saying Goodbye and Dealing With the Grief of Shedding Riggins

Pictures courtesy Wendy Newell.

The in-home euthanasia vet was superb. I extremely recommend trying into one close to you if their companies are required. She was soothing and affected person even when Riggins barked and jumped, a small senior soar, at her when she dared to step into our residence. I didn’t watch her and my father carry his physique out. I closed my eyes and put my arms to my ears. I had heard her warn my father that he could be “floppy” and I knew I didn’t wish to hear any extra.

I used to be chilly for 2 days. It doesn’t matter what I did, I couldn’t get my arms heat. I assume I used to be experiencing some form of shock. Even earlier than his dying I used to be having chest pains. My coronary heart was breaking. Do you know that? Do you know that when you might have a damaged coronary heart your chest actually hurts?

Getting Assist When Grieving a Canine

Pictures courtesy Wendy Newell.

There may be such a factor as pet loss counselors and veterinary companies that concentrate on finish of life pet care. I didn’t notice that I may get assist throughout Riggins’ previous few months. Maybe if I had I wouldn’t be so offended.

Maybe Riggins wouldn’t have needed to be so sturdy for me if I had been discovering assist elsewhere. If you end up the place I used to be, discuss to your vet or ask your native humane society. Both one ought to be capable to direct you to folks whose job it’s to assist.

Riggins was a really particular soul and I’m pleased I acquired to be with him for so long as I did. He’ll all the time be my candy child boy.

Thumbnail: Pictures courtesy Wendy Newell. 

In regards to the creator

Wendy Newell is a former VP of Gross sales turned canine sitter, which retains her busy being a canine chauffeur, selecting up poop and sacrificing her mattress. Wendy and her canine, Riggins, take their always-changing pack of pups on adventures all through the Los Angeles space. Be taught extra about them on Fb @The Energetic Pack and on Instagram @wnewell.

Learn extra about grieving and dropping a canine on petsupplyandmore.com:

from Pet Supply and More http://petsupplyandmore.com/index.php/2019/04/17/having-to-say-goodbye-to-my-beloved-canine/

[bloomholistichealth]

This video came across my FB feed from a friend on the other side of the world. I wanted to share it and add some of the things I’ve learned from my research.

1- Belief is a powerful tool.

I think that there might be a strong correlation between the rise of rationalistic cultures (without magic or gods) and depression etc. The workings of the mind and emotions are very complex - it is much easier for the mind to operate in a 'everything is going to be fine' mode because of a short simple belief in, say, fairies than it is to bring to mind the detailed events and complex interactions behind each of our emotions or the true quantum physical philosophy of 'why do I need to be here'. For those who can just say 'this is God's will' it is easier to fall into a positive frame of mind. For those who fall in the gap between the two (between 'Mother Theresa’ and ‘Stephen Hawking’) the conscious mind is a bitch and can hold you in a negative state of anxiety, doubt and fear until it settles on a clear signal that helps it inform you how to proceed. That’s why we default to inactivity (”I’m just going to lie here while my head keeps whirring”) and chaotic activity (”I should do all these things all at once!”) when we get depressed. We literally don’t know what to do, there are no clear signals coming from the cortex that the muscles can follow.

2 - Emotions are a stoneage tool for survival trying to cope with a sci-fi world.

Our limbic systems are not well suited to the world that we live in and the constant stimulus it provides. Or the types of stimulus. It is suited to  “argh! lions” or “mmmm belly rubs” type lifestyle. At least in my own life these two things aren’t on my to do list most days It’s typically things like “reply to emails / do the washing / file tax return / charge phone / buy dog food”. And more and more of our activities are cognitive - that is we need to use our calcuating brains to do them (reading, understanding, processing, communicating). I’m not a lumberjack, and nor are you - and even if we were we would still need to file a tax return and operate the buttons on the washing machine. Our other senses are still massively inputing our brains circuitry, but the eyes and the fingers are getting all the attention.

In the stoneage scenario stressors (positive or negative) are short lived and resolvable. The lion either goes away or kills you. The belly gets rubbed. There’s a default level of low-arousal with a few spikes of arousal here and there. A lot of the pressures that stimulate our nervous systems these days are unresolvable. So our bodies never understand that they can relax back into the default resting state. There is no clear signal that we have ‘dealt with the situation’. On my phone right now there are at least 10 indicators of activity on the apps. If I click on them, nothing shows up. My phone is alerting me to stuff I can’t resolve. I can’t tune it out, because it’s been designed to get my attention in exactly the same channel that a message from my best friend or my daughter would signal in. It’s like a ghost lion that never goes away :)

3 - The default has become activity.

This is an individual  and a social/cultural thing, but I'll stick to the individual aspect. We are literally always on. The ghost lions are always stalking us, the belly-rubbing product adverts are always seducing us. As long as that phone is in your hand, or that body in an upright position, we are active cognitively and physically. Our bodies need to be signalled when it is safe to 'rest and digest' but that doesn't happen. Even when we go to bed many of us find we are still processing things that we didn't have time to during our days. We are so accustomed to stimulus that even if we do find some time to be peaceful and quiet our system detects this an “unusual event” and trigger an alert response. Gah! When we are triggered into alert states we:

cannot heal damaged tissues (so we get pain and fatigue)

cannot perceive the world fully (so we get highly focused, clumsy, irrational etc.)

cannot use our full mental function or store memories (we make mental mistakes, become forgetful, struggle to complete tasks)

are tense (this makes movement harder, creates tension headaches and joint problems).

It’s a bad way to be and this situation of chronic stress is the major health problem globally right now, not even counting the consequences of the activities people use to try and cope, like smoking, drinking, over eating etc.

4 - With effort we can adapt.

While we can’t necessarily become religious or delusional to help us overcome our logical traps, we can use our logic to full effect. We *know* that the brain is plastic. We understand how the body and mind interact and behave. We can use this knowledge to train ourselves to override the incoming stimulus, to avoid them, and to re-adapt our systems to relax in ‘normality’ and identify true problems among the noise. Of course I default to the teachings of yoga to do this. And the practices I use are evidence based, free and accessible, because I am a geek and a hippy. But there are many mechanisms, ancient and new, that help to modify the nervous system response and overcome the emotional bleakness that can be a consequence of our modern culture and society. The main point is that you believe in it. Because it is your mind that does the believing, and your mind that controls the way your feel. We aren’t ‘hard wired’ or ‘born that way’. We do have tendencies and traits, we are exposed to cultures and education. But we also have control. When we accept how and why our circumstances came about, we can see ways to influence those circumstances - and to understand and accept that we may not always be successful. If you or anyone you know is tackling difficult emotions or mental health issues please do all you can to support them and make sure they know they are loved, valued and understood just the way they are, and seek help from a professional to build tools and strategies to cope and thrive.

[archangeleso]

Everyone dies alone

Someone that ive not spoken with for over a decade asked me what id been up to on fb, but thats not really the place for a sincere answer, so here goes:

The last 15 years have been a descending spiral into hell. Ive been medicated and in and out of therapy. My diagnosis from age 16 has been BPD. It shows.

Ive continually been able to make choices that seemed to me to be the only choice (why do you always take the hard road? Why do you think i see more than one?) Its been a lifetime of shattered realtionships and dreams. My longest romantic interlude remains virtually unchallenged at 9 months (just long enough for them to see and push away the crazy i warned them of); my longest job at 2 years. Ive been in the work force for two decades; who has a record like that and can find work?

Continual lonliness (real, imagined, or self-subjected) has plagued me and held hands with other dysfunctioning mental mechanisms to develop a professional drinking problem (the only people who can stick with me are other alcoholics and people twice my weight)

I think so little of myself that reaching out feels like a bother to others in my mind. The worst of that is those few that have stuck with me take offence; when its not that i dont love them; i just cant understand how someone else would care for me when i usually hate myself.

Its not that im a bad person, its that im not a good person.

Three years ago started what feels to be the final spiral. The death of my little sister. Follwed by the death of one of my best friends the following year. Followed by the death of my grandmother the following.

I have become more unstable, less able to practice self care, and nearly incapable of an6 real semblance of self control.

Despair knows no boundaries.

So, of course, a heart attack brought on by my self destructive coping skills.

Sure. Why not?

So i stop taking the pills that keep me alive. The doctors had insinuated i might have 24 hours before death. I go four days without them, before i slip up and mention in my drunken stupor that i quit taking them. I receive two days of solace for my failed attempt. Then back to grinding my soul back into the dust from whence it came.

So, yeah, not up to much. Just kinda between things right now, barely treading water while i drown.

[northernmum-blog]

Please just stay the fuck asleep...

 So, I have absolutely no idea how Tumblr works... I have sadly been living as if Facebook was the only social media platform for many years, and the thought of expanding just sounded too fucking exhausting. However, several of my mums in arms have suggest I blog! Mostly I think maybe this is their way of getting me off facebook so I’m not clogging up everyones feeds with my babyspam (joke). So here I am... blogging... I really want to make a Anchorman ‘jogging’ reference here but I don’t think it’ll work. I hate back stories, so in a nutshell, I am a Northern mum... not a northerner as in north of the wall but we do talk a bit like them lot, so for all intensive purposes, I am a ‘wildling’. We also say ‘fuck’ a lot, and many of us are ginger. 

I have a belief that all mums blog... even if its just inside their own heads. Its this constant monologue the runs through day and night, commentating on the day to day buggery that we have to endure as mothers and partners. So here is mine. I will try and keep it amusing, but lets face it, kids just aren’t that funny. They think they are, and thats why they keep doing the shit they do, and we are just massive enablers, watching and smiling, giving them huge positive reinforcement as they shove carrot sticks into the cat food and pour juice onto your laundry. We smile because we say ‘they are learning and this is how kids learn!’... and because we are too fucking tired to fight them. 

My youngling is 13 months old, and I am also a stepmum to a 7 year old. Its actually not that hard, least not as hard as I thought it would be. You don’t need magical powers, or a list of approved coping mechanisms, when you have two adults who are co-parenting responsibly and respectfully, its actually not a bad job, and there is very little Disneyesque moments involving evil and singing mice. it also meant that our kiddo came into the world with a ready made sibling, and for wee one that has been just awesome, as she thoroughly enjoys her role as little sister. 

I don’t for a second believe this will become anything more than just a page that I water intermittently with the hopes that it won’t completely shrivel and die like my houseplants, I have no grand plans as a blogger. Mostly I just like to make people laugh... from my home, when I’m alone with a glass of wine and I’m avoiding being amongst actual real life people. I am one of those types. The omnivert. We didn’t exist before social media... back then we were just introverts with diaries. Now we can actually appear sociable and outgoing, hence ‘omnivert’. 

So cut to the chase. Today has been yet another day when I have thought ‘I can’t possibly feel more tired than this!’ I also said this every day first trimester, third trimester, for the first 3 months of Kiddos life, and again every day since she started crawling and then walking. I am very fucking tired, but thats nothing to the dawning realisation of the future tiredness yet to come... they are there, on the horizon, the days when both girls having d&v and have to be off school, or maybe when I stupidly decide to go out and drink cocktails and THEN they get d&v and are off school... oh the horrors. Thats it. I’m going to die of tiredness. No one can possibly live like this. This is why old people are so quiet and still... its not infirmity its the fact that they never got a break after the contraception bust and now they are so tired they can’t actually even muster the energy to close their eyes and actually sleep. 

On the plus side, some random comment I made on the Independent FB page got over 3000 likes *fist pump*. My interaction with the outside world is done for the day. I made a passing remark on parenting, and boom I am a celebrity. I tell the partner, I’m almost giddy and want him to ask me what I wrote, but he doesn’t so he loses another point (I am keeping score). He is equally disinterested in my appraisal of the daily dramas of facebook. We take turns closing our eyes by 7pm... Kiddo is still tearing the living room a new one, and he has work at 8. We had to buy two new sippy cups today because we are down to one and I don’t fucking understand how that happened. She usually hides them in the toybox but all I found was an old rice cake. She has no real routine anymore... we tried and she just kept throwing us gamechangers... teething, fevers, late nights with relatives... dead and gone are the days when I thought I could do this the way people say they do, or how its written in books. My advice? Just do it however it works for you... otherwise you will feel like failures before you even get to the hard stuff. Shes only woken up once since I put her down, which is fairly standard. The only reason I’m actually here is because she passed out before midnight and I had coffee at half seven. The last two nights she has been in bed with me while my partner worked away, and I know cosleeping is a thing people do on purpose, but if I am honest, sometimes I am too tired to physically walk up and down that corridor all night from our room to hers, so she snores next to me while I read Game of Thrones.