#drew this while crying for authenticity

[notforsoul]

not even love can fix it

[strawberry-spectre]

okay i need to hear your FULL thoughts on the spelltine comic!!!!!!

ALRIGHT LETS GOOOOOO (ill be commenting on every page of the comic so its gonna be long)

P1. I absolutely LOVE Whisp here, she's so supportive and so fun and I love how they drew her platonically kissing Valentine when he fell (also the pose she makes is the same as the one Val makes in P6 lol). Idk if the ' after some of the words Valentine says is suppose to be showing his southern accent but I love it. I also love the reference to the Eternal Body Odor pit it's so silly :,) BUT NOTHING BEATS VALENTINE DEAD ON THE FLOOR LMAO- and our queen Drac here looks GOREGOUS and I love how they gave her the pink bat necklace Clawd got her in one of the earlier webisodes its soo cute!!

P2. One of my favourite things on this page is how Valentine went from 'WOULDYOULIKETOBEFRIENDS' to 'I mean-' like its so funny how hes tryna act cool even though Draculaura alr saw how nervous he was lmao, the sparkles and sigh puff thing rly made it so much better. My other favourite on this page is Valentine stressing over that interaction with wide eyes staring into nothing with his hands covering his mouth and stray hairs everywhere, its peak fr. I love how espressive Valentine is LIKE OADFVHNAEGIRJ3GVBAGEIRBVAEIUF

P3. SPELLDON DEBUT LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! he genuinely looks so cool and cute at the same time I LOVE his purple undereye eyeshadow it looks like hes got some heavy eye bags lmao- the way Spelldons just calm and collected meanwhile Valentine is reacting to everything like its the biggest shock in his life ever is so funny and I absolutely love that dynamic. I also love how many necklaces Spelldons got on its so him. My favourite line from this page is 'it's gonna be dead in a few days, like my soul' like ok emo- ITS SO FUNNYDIJVBIEAVGAERU I LOVE HIM SM- I love complaining Valentine hes so silly :,) the way he exaggerates everything is so ugh <3333

P4. ngl when I read 'magician' I immediately thought of the ones in circuses with the pulling bunnies out of a top hat kind and I was so confused- and that look on Spelldons face?? bro knew that he's gonna get dragged into some craaaazy shenanigans. I love how Spelldon expresses his emotions through his eyes but Valentine expresses it through body language. Spelldon trying to talk Valentine out of the potion with him defending the idea is so cute like lover's quarrel before the lover's <33

P5. Bro Valentine talks so much his speech bubbles take up half the page lmao- butttttt I am slightly concerned about the bat wings in the back of the store... but thats nothing compared to the skulls and bones?? ig it makes sense since its MH but I'm still cry-laughing about it :,)) idk what the word is (sarcastic or sassy or smth) BUT SPELLDON'S REPLIES R MY FAVOURITE THINGS EVERRRR 'are you doubting my potion-crafting ability?' 'not in biteology' 'you're really good at that' LIKE UGHHHIFUVHBSIETRBI HES SO FIVBEIRUBNVARIE. Not them planning a date while shopping- also wtf is that Elissabat cutout?? what did they do to her :,0000 (the Murktail sign next to it is giving foreshadowing)

P6. AHHHHHH I LOVE THEM ICE SKATING SMMM AND AS ALWAYS SPELLDON IS ROCKING IT WHILE VALS JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE FJVAEIFVBIEUR HAHAHAHA but you know what's better??? VALENTINE FALLS AND THEY FALL TOGETHERRRRR AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY MAKE ME SO SICK I LOVE THEM SM- FIVJBARI first time we see Spelldon lose his cool like damn- WITH THE FIREWORKS TOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Spelldon I see your hand hovering over Valentine, its okay ;))!!!!! I love the layout for this page and P7 sm its so fun to look at and theres so much colours!! and the implication that Val and Spell went 'borrowing' the guy's 'authentic himalayan ice malt' is so SCDFVGBNHJMK AND THAT LOOK THEY GAVE EACH OTHER ORIHVNSIERBNG

P7. NOT THEM FLIRTING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY MAKE ME WANNA KMS THEYRE SO SWEET- AND VALENTINES PULLING OUT THE FULL NAME- 'you take me to the nicest places, Spelldon Cauldronello' with that U-U face and that clasped hands okay I see you Val, I see you. Favourite thing from this page? def the expectation vs reality chibi, ITS SO CUTEEEEE SPELLDON WANTING TO PROTECT VALENTINE MAKES ME ASCEND TO HEAVEN AND VALENTINE WORRYING OVER SPELLDON IRL TAKES ME THERE- Spelldon confirming that Valentine's accent is bad is so real bro when I watched the movie for the first time I was like '...he's southern??' BUT, THAT LINE 'you don;t do it with me' IS SO SXCDVFGBNHJM like Mr Cauldronello are you jealous?? its okay you can tell me <33 Valentine thinking a fake southern accent made him cooler and added to his ~mystique~ is so SDCFVGB hes so silly :,)) (I thought they forgot to draw Valentine's irises in the scene after bc I didn't realise he was looking up lmao)

P8. Valentine trying to diverge the convosation is so real bro like dw Spelldon knows you don't actually want to make all your emotions go poof, BUT ITS STILL SUCH A CUTE SCENE LIKE HES FINALLY COME TO THE REALISATION THAT LOVE ISNT ALL THAT BAD- crying :,) and when he started to explain how he likes hanging out w Spelldon, how he's glad that what happened happened, and the 'maybe I don't want to give that up yet' UGHHHHHHH MY HEART LEGIT FLUTTERED DCFVGBHNJM AND IT WAS SUCH A HEARTFELT SCENE AND I SCREAMED SO LOUD INTERNALLY and then Spelldon drinks it lmao- like yes! have your future bf worry for a few seconds before going haha jk! love it Spelldon's so CDVFGBNH i love him sm :,))

P9. 'you really think I was going to let you excise your emotions like that?' SPELLDON I LOVE YOU- THATS SUCH A COOL LINE BRO IXJNIJFVNSIUFVBNJDFC and then he hits Val with the 'someone you cared about' line LIKE THEY MAKE ME FEEL SO SINGLE IM HURT- SPELLDON BASICALLY ADMITTED THAT HE CARES ABT VALENTINE AND YES IT WAS OBVIOUS BUT THERES JUST SOMETHING ABT SAYING IT THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT YKNOW?? ugh I need Spelltine to be my new heart I dont want my human heart anymore :,0. AND THE WAY VALENTINE GRABBED SPELLDON'S SHIRT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH the way they looked at each other and the confession of feelings and everything and OH MY GODS THE 'maybe we can make sure it's not working...?' GODS, GODS, GODS- WE?? THE SLIGHT HESITATION?? THE FACES ONLY 10 CM AWAY FROM EACH OTHER??? your honor, they kissed. FUCK- CAN YOU TELL THAT I LOVE THIS PAGE?? THEYRE SO SWEET- KMS-

P10. THE. HAND. GRAB. gosh I can't deal with them- VALENTINE TAKING SPELLDON'S HAND WITH BOTH HIS HANDS IM SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THEYRE SO SWEET- AND SPELLDON STILL HAS THE ROSE FROM VALENTINESERXDTFCYGUH oh lords they're everything- AND SPELLDON LOOKS AT VALENTINE WITH SUCH SOFT EYES WHEN WILL I HAVE WHAT THEY HAVE?? 'hmm somethings different about you, kieran valentine', Draculaura, he's come to terms with his emotions, he's made peace with the past and present, hes got an amazing bf, hes finally got that happiness, yep, very different :,DDDD

I love this so much it's the perfect ending, PERFECT. I literally can't even describe how much I love it with the 'and stop holding your hand?', the entire 'well i uh think it'll be cool if you met her- if you wanna thay is' text and EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING IS PERFECTION. ABSOLUTE P E R F E C T I O N. AND THE WAY VALENTINE LEANS AGAINST SPELLDON AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHO NEEDS THERAPY WHEN YOU'VE GOT THIS???? AND SPELLDON BLUSHING IS SO CUTEEEEEE THEYRE SO CUTEE gods I need help-

summary: they are so damn sweet, the comic layout is so good, the emotions was perfect, everything is perfect, I'm gonna die from happiness overload, I feel like a proud mother seeing them finally be together its WSERDTFGYUH if i die and im not holding this under my crossed arms then im not dying fr

thank u for the ask!!

[mayasdeluca]

I love Stefania but I have no interest in watching/listening that podcast. Any chance you’ll do a recap of the highlights?

Sure...I just finished watching so this is what I took from it:

Says that it’s starting to sink in that it’s the series finale but also feels like they’re on hiatus and that when they’re supposed to go back in July that’s when it will probably really sink in.

They were supposed to film this podcast episode while they were still filming the finale but it was too hectic with them filming overnights and such. 

After long days of interacting with people all day long she needs time to just be alone and recharge/watches Friends to wind down. 

Stefania eats a lot of sweets on set (chocolate donuts) and then they started talking about broccoli for like 5 minutes because Stefania said she loves to eat broccoli and kale and healthier things when she travels because she’s eating all the sweet stuff on set lol

She said she’s not a good cook and didn’t inherit a cooking gene and only does it out of necessity.

Talks about transitioning from dance to acting and says that one day she just felt she was done and she loved dance, it was a great relationship but she’s ready to move on. 

She started dancing when she was six because there was this drawing competition in school and the winner got free dancing lessons for a year and she drew a ballerina and won. Did ballet first but was bored and picked it up years later and did more modern jazz type dance. 

A good portion is then spent of Gaby and Stefania speaking in italian because Gaby lived there for a while. They start to talk about an Italian tv show. 

Jaina and Gaby pointed out that Stefania looks so comfortable speaking in Italian and so herself but Stefania said when she’s acting in Italian, she’s not comfortable and prefers to act speaking English because she has an accent with every language she speaks and she has a different inflection now when speaking Italian while acting. 

North Africa is somewhere she wants to check off on her bucket list.

She prefers the grainy look to film/tv/photo and doesn’t like HD. Film makes it more poetic, dreamy, special. 

Her digital camera she carries around is from the 90’s so the quality isn’t as sharp as pictures are today. 

She talked about her episode that she directed and a lot of her ideas went hand in hand with the script like the scene where everybody was angry and so they then slammed the doors and create the rhythm to create more drama. 

She talked about Zita Sempri and the meaning of ‘always a girlfriend, never a wife’ and how her mom taught her to always keep the freshness of when you’re first dating someone and to never give up your dreams/prioritize others before your own like women tend to do especially once getting into a marriage and that's something especially known for women to do in Sicily.

She says Jeff is super sweet with humans but loves to be the alpha with other dogs and gets aggressive and shows dominance when it comes to her stuff: food, treats, etc. 

Biggest fears: losing loved ones, losing her health/getting injured. Then talks about how she booked Grey’s two days after she was in acting class crying about her accent thinking it was too limited and she wouldn’t get a juicy role. And the minute they got told Station 19 was cancelled, all the fears she had about her accent came back that she will never book a role again.  (ABC count your days for this)

They talk about the difference in fashion/style in Italy compared to the US and Stefania says she has a different closet for clothes she wears in Italy and it’s much more structured/fancy as opposed to when she’s in LA wearing t-shirt/jeans.

They talked about how social media makes everything feel more aware and rigid and like there’s a filter and you have to be careful what you post not to upset anyone and constantly have to edit and you’re less free, authentic, less yourself. 

Stuck on an island and you could have three things: pizza, Jeff, something to drink (she mentioned bringing a water fountain lol)

Something people don’t know about her: she’s shy/reserved. It takes a while for her to open up to someone but once she does she’s more outgoing. She feels like a burden when opening up to someone so she has to make sure it will be well received/feels comfortable doing so.

What she’ll miss the most from Station 19: the people - cast, crew, human connection

What are you excited for in this next chapter? Not to talk about IVF and excited to talk about more stuff that’s more authentically in line with more of what her taste is and has become throughout the years. It has been incredible to play Carina and talk about the baby storyline and the struggles of it but she’s excited to tackle other things that are more true to her. She doesn’t want to have kids and for the past 3 years she has played a character who is desperate to have kids and she said it was beautiful because it was fun to connect with this different version of her and great to act out but she’s excited to act out some things that she does care about. 

She’s working on some kind of story as a director but didn’t want to say to much about it and jinx it. 

She took a pair of Carina’s pants from set but said she should have taken Carina’s lab coat. 

Most difficult scene to shoot - Andrew’s death. Emotionally tolling, a lot of crying, exhausting. 

If she could be in any tv show airing right now what would it be? My Brilliant Friend (Italian show) and she would have loved to be in the movie 7 pounds

She tends to lean more towards drama but would love to do comedy things as well. They talk about how she can pretty much cry on cue and can just think about all the shitty things that have happened to her and it comes instantly. She does a lot of emotional scenes/has to cry a lot. 

Espresso or English Tea? Espresso

Sicily Beaches or Hollywood Hills? Sicily beaches

Art museums or Theme parks on a day off? Art museums 

Dinner at home or Dinner out? Out

Gelato in Milano or Fish and Chips in London? Gelato 

Pizza or Pasta? Pizza on pasta

Tennis or PIckleball? Tennis

Travel to the past or future? The present

Saving lives in the ER or on the field with firefighters? ER

Station 19 or Grey’s Anatomy? no answer

She’s on Instagram and off Twitter for good, her therapist told her to. (And that’s literally all that was said about that and then it ended)

[ihateapbiology]

good news

(Help this feels like the 1D fanfics 😭😭😭😭 but just roll with it lol.)

also kinda tw- kinda like some thoughts on religion/homophobia

You joked with your friends that your ex girlfriend had broken up with you two weeks before you were seeing Julien Baker to give you the “authentic experience.” You wouldn’t call yourself a super fan, you had found her through boygenius and just really connected with her music. Unfortunately you had been connecting a little too much with her music since your ex girlfriend had “realized she wasn’t queer” and that “God was calling her away from you.” You didn’t even feel mad just so sad. So you were ready to cry. You and your closest friends scanned in your tickets and meandered your ways to your seats. You were super close. You had wanted to look nice in case one of your friends wanted to post abt the concert and if your ex saw it…you wanted to look like you didn’t want to rot in bed. The concert was everything and more than you could’ve hoped for. Each chord resonated deeply within you, the lyrics hitting close to home. Her voice was raw, filled with an emotion that seemed to echo your own pain. Tears welled up in your eyes as you let the music wash over you. As you were crying you felt more emotions than you had let yourself feel in a while, your ex breaking up with you had unearthed some of your own religious wounds. Then you felt eyes on you, not one of your friends, you were mortified when you realized Julien was looking down at you. You briefly made eye contact before you looked away fast. The concert drew to a close and you and your friends started filing out. You quickly let them know you were heading to the bathroom.

The tears you had held back during the performance now flowed freely, a silent release of all the hurt you had been carrying, not worrying about how your friends would think.

“Hey,” a gentle voice broke through your sobs. You looked up, surprised to see Julien standing there, concern etched on her face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I just stubbed my toe really hard” you lie still sobbing.

She smiled a bit and walked next to you and sat. “Yeah did you stub your toe in the middle of my concert as well?” She says, making it known that she remembered the rather awkward eye contact you two had made.

“Alright you caught me.” You softly say. “People have said I’m good to talk to. If you want to.” She says.

You hesitated for a moment before nodding. She sat down beside you, her presence comforting. You found yourself opening up to her, sharing the pain of your recent breakup and how lost you felt. She listened intently, not interrupting, just offering a supportive presence.

When you finished, Julien placed a hand on your shoulder. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. That..wow that situation literally sounds like what I’d write a song about. I want you to know that no matter what. No matter what a warped preaching of a religion built upon love says you are valid. What your ex did has nothing to do on you, nothing at all, no matter who she was with when she felt this she would’ve broken up with them. Just..allow yourself to feel you know.”

This unleashes more tears “thank you it was just so out of left field you know.”

You guys talk for a bit longer before she has to go finishing cleaning up stuff. “Hey do you live around here?” She asks.

“Yeah.”

“Well if you ever need someone to talk to about this I’m here..” she grabs a sharpie from her pants pocket and writes her number on your hand. “thank you that’s really sweet…you’re really sweet.” You shyly say.

She shrugs “I like helping gorgeous girls” by the look on her face she clearly didn’t mean to say all that much.

However you didn’t register that she had called you gorgeous until 3 hours later as you were watching TV and screamed to your friends.

Now the question remained…would you text that number…

[dailykoreanpop]

ATEEZ show goes on at Citi Field despite delay caused by thunderstorms

South Korean all-stars ATEEZ hit a home run at Citi Field Saturday night with a showstopping performance that neither rain, lightning, nor extreme heat could stop them from electrifying the arena.

The forecast for Aug. 3 seemed grim for ATEEZ fans—affectionately known as ATINY—as foreboding rainclouds and the rumble of thunder encroached upon the home of the Mets. Inspired by the group’s music videos, thousands of ATINY dressed in cowboy hats, pirate suits, and even pinned fake money to themselves while braving both the extreme heat and periodic downpours. At one point the faithful were even forced to take shelter beneath the 7-train station’s overpass amidst a particularly heavy deluge – still, their dedication never wavered. 

Tolkitea, 30, huddled outside of Citi Field fanning themself, unable to get up from the sidewalk under the pressure of the severe temperature and humidity. However, the thick almost unbearable air did not wipe the pure elation from the New England native’s flushed face when they talked about ATEEZ and what they mean to them.  

“They are so authentic about who they are…They are community and inspiration to me. I hadn’t drawn for years. I went to art school, and I got art burnout and then went into the corporate world, and it sucks away your soul. And you think wow maybe I don’t want to do what I love again, and then ATEEZ went on tour, and I started to draw again making freebies [for other fans,]” Tolkitea said, crediting ATEEZ for igniting their artistic spark once again. 

The day started off with an eventful afternoon block party that began with blue skies and sunshine as Mr. and Mrs. Met showed off their best “Crazy form” outside of the stadium, along with supporters distributing their artwork, fan-made freebees, trading photocards, and filming dance challenges. Nevertheless, as the time drew closer to the stadium opening its doors (6 p.m.), ominous rain clouds unleashed a downpour that delayed the concert for about two hours. 

ATINY’s sheer dedication to ATEEZ rivaled that of a United States Postal worker neither buckets of rainfall nor the extreme heat deterred them from seeing their favorite band. They grabbed garbage bags, huddled under umbrellas, and took shelter beneath clothing and small alcoves as they awaited the fate of their concert to be announced by Citi Field representatives. 

Drenched in a combination of sweat and rain, the fans spirits would not dampen as they sang and chanted ATEEZ’s name until at 9:30 p.m., when the thunder ceased, and music began to blare from the speakers preparing a jam-packed stadium for an unforgettable night. 

Rising from the water-slicked stage in a cloud of smoke, the eight members of ATEEZ (housed by 

KQ Entertainment) HONGJOONG, SEONGHWA, YUNHO, YEOSANG, SAN, MINGI, WOOYOUNG and JONGHO stepped onto the stage taking in the sight of thousands of adoring supporters waving their glowing light sticks for the second stadium performance in the United States.

“New York thank you so much for waiting so long. A little rain can’t stop us,” HONGJOONG, ATEEZ’s Captain, said. 

Perhaps it was the long wait in extreme weather conditions, but many of ATINY let out tears and shouts of joy as ATEEZ rode on the stage like true “Pirate Kings.” 

Emotions were running high for the members of ATEEZ as well, as SEONGHWA shared a heartfelt speech about how precious life after the passing of his grandparents. 

“I used to think our time was eternal. I have believed in moments that will be remembered far away than eternity. But through a few goodbyes, I’ve learned that life isn’t forever. Saying this because we still have time. So, this life is too precious. So don’t live a life of hating and jealousy on each other Take care and love one another. Don’t save the word I love you…To let go of the sorrows, to cry when I have to, I will walk and wake up no matter what pain I get, I’m going to save myself. I desperately hope that you all become a star in someone. I can do it. You are already my stars,” SEONGHWA said. 

Twenty-seven-year-old Wanya Beeks shared that this raw honesty and encouragement are what helped her through suicide and depression. Pushing her walker aside, Beeks spoke candidly on ATEEZ’s ability to connect with fans while also sharing the pain they have experienced. She even went as far as to say they saved her life. 

“ATEEZ for me is like a whole different galaxy. They are my earth, my kings, my family, the loves of my life,” Beeks said. “I’ve been dealing with depression and suicide thoughts since I was in first grade. ATEEZ made the song ‘Sunrise’ and it brought me out of my depression. I have really bad anxiety too, so any time I feel that I play ‘Sunrise’ and it helps me. It motivates me to love myself and to feel better about the things that I love.” 

“It’s very inspiring to see just a different group come together and make such beautiful music,” Beeks added. 

ATEEZ has set the bar high, not just for K-Pop artists, but the music industry as a whole.  Since their debut in 2018, they have released chart-topping albums, won numerous awards, became the first K-Pop male group to perform at Coachella, and now have performed in several United States stadiums. 

These history makers inspire Malaya Salcedo, an Asian woman struggling to make a name for herself in the art industry. Salcedo says their success is one for the Asian community and emphasizes that representation matters. 

“Their music grounded me and made it easier when I just got back from studying abroad and everything was just happening so fast. It was comfort and it was a sense of home,” Salcedo said. “I am a painter and seeing their representation and break the glass ceiling over and over again and making sure it’s representative no matter what industry they work in, it’s inspiring to see. I want to aim more because they didn’t stop when people said [ATEEZ] couldn’t do it.”

That passion and determination that so many love about ATEEZ was on full display Saturday night. Perhaps it was a combination of frustration with the storm, appreciation to perform in another stadium, but the level of intensity and fierceness was at an all-time high for the young men. 

Before the stroke of midnight, due to city rules, the fair princes of pop were forced to bid fans farewell, closing the evening with thunderous applause and a spectacular firework display. 

ATEEZ has only two shows on their world tour in the United States: Chicago on Aug. 10 and 11. 

Credit: amny

[ryuichirou]

I've been lurking for quite a while now and haven't sent asks to literally anyone in years... but I just wanted to tell you how much I looove the way you draw Azul! Confidence fits him so much better than being the self-conscious, embarrassed mess other people depict him as. So many people seem to forget that there's much more to him!

Anooon, thank you so much for appreciating our Azul!! We also really love when he is confident and smug, sometimes we joke that for Azul to look like his authentic Azul self, he needs to have a very punchable face…

Pretty much the first thing Katsu and I learned about Azul was that he is an unhinged control-freak who could spend a week trying to train himself to throw a dice a certain way because he refuses to accept that he can’t control luck. It’s super fun to play around with this side of his, because he is like Disney villain level (lol) of unhinged at times, he’ll go extra mile and then some more for the weirdest reasons.

And even though he hides some insecurities somewhere deep inside his rotten smug soul, I really don’t like it when people boil him down to the way you’ve described. He is confident, because he is hardworking enough to know that he’s done everything to be flawless; he is smart and cunning and powerful enough to play his cards right; there is no reason for him to be self-conscious when he has all the power in his greedy hands. And most importantly, Azul doesn’t need to be pitied, I feel like this is the treatment he would be quite uncomfortable with.

I think it would be fair to assume that this vision of Azul (“always self-conscious embarrassed mess”) comes from his chapter, in which he had a huge emotional breakdown. We absolutely loved this scene and his entire overblot sequence, it’s one of our favourites, but I think it’s important to remember that this wasn’t a typical situation for Azul. He got hit in the most sensitive spot, got pretty much his entire life ruined (at least this is what it felt like to him), so of course he mentally went back to that state he was in when he was a helpless child: the thing that used to protect him that he’d built over the years was destroyed. Leona and Ruggie were both shocked to see him becoming a hysterical crybaby in an instant, and everyone agreed that Leona went too far. What I’m trying to say is that while it was authentically Azul, it wasn’t typical for Azul, and nothing even remotely close to that situation has ever happened again.

Of course, Azul is cautious, protective of his genuine self and doesn’t trust anyone. And we love sensitive Azul a lot, I drew and posted him crying at least once, but it’s like… This side of him is especially good because usually he isn’t like that; usually he is manipulative, bossy, even cruel and cold-hearted at times. And most importantly, he knows his own worth, so he would never doubt anything he’s worked so hard on, be it his appearance, his magic skills, his business skills, anything. So yes, he is confident.

Sorry, Anon, I guess I have a lot to say about this topic… Thank you again for sending this ask, sharing your opinion and loving our Azul!

Have a great day!

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Hello there 🙏🫶 I just want to share this rn with you..... 💌 Recently i have developed a crush on a girl. She is so wonderful and we talk every day & i feel so giddy LOL. I don't even know her face😭 I am so unsure over alot of things & it is both mortifying & exhilarating to experience .. & thats the fun if it..omg.. recently i feel like so many friends are having crushes i wonde r your thoughts on this..

also i forgot how to flirt entirely so i dnt even know if its noticeable to her at all that im interested that way since i havent been bold enough LOL any advice on signaling this to her is appreciated i feel like13 again likeso clumsy LOL its so exciting too omg wishing you a beautiful day when u reaD this i hope it;s fine to send this to u i know u like your inbox used as a confessional but i'm still shy HAHA

🙏🌞🫶🫧🌈

AWWW💞💞💞 happy for u Anon :]....Ues it seems lately many people have been finding new love, i noticed it too the past few weeks :o I've only had that feeling a handful of times over my life, its a special one cus it can be quite fleeting depending on how fast things move, treasure it🌟 altho W/ me and slimbo it lasted ages so by the end of it when we finally confessed love i was FRIED from haveing butterflies in my stomach for so long lol i was losing my marbles over it. anywyas--

Honeslty im BAD at flirting like. i have noooo idea how to make a move , slimbo n i both tried to keep it .pokerface. for years because we're like, i dont even know, we're stupid we were almost enemies for a while. there was a timespan where we were SOOOO competitive and whenever we tried to play games we'd fight so much and i'd end up crying LMAO im laugjing so hard typing this cus we're not even like that now. Like as soon as we got together we became the ultimate harmonious team of considerate affectionate lovers but the courting phase was such a trainwreck lmao. i love it like its beautiful it all worked out, but yeah i suck at flirting i am swagless in that position🧎‍♀️

Altho when it's irl i definitely at least try to Thot it Up, concoct minxy outfits , move in a charming way, one of my most successful tactics has been attempting to orchestrate accidental voyeuristic scenarios for them to catch in their peripherals lol. but you have to be reeeeally subtle to pull that one off ;] i guess mostly i just try to talk to them a lot !! and be thouggtful. send telepathic uncondtional love. SHOW THEM SONGS!!!!!!! if its an internet thing, maybe u can watch movies or youtube videos together. be inquisitive and ask her lots of questions ^_^ one thing that always drew me to slimbo is how curious they are and their #intellect.. But everyones different so just feel it out day by day thru communication💓💓💓

hhope that helpes in some way.. its ok to feel giddy and clumsy im sure ur crush just wants to get to know the most authentic -you- so dont stress too much about specifics ^u^ Enjoy your weekend love ~ ~ ~ P.M.d.9

[bustybritish]

Lucy's Unconventional Wonderland

Lucy, a vivacious British woman in her late thirties, was no stranger to the world of swinging. In her small corner of the Cotswolds, she was known for her magnetic charm and infectious enthusiasm. Lucy, however, possessed a secret that none of her friends or neighbors could have imagined - her love for being one of the Real UK Swingers.

The story of Lucy's affinity for this unconventional lifestyle started at a time when she was navigating the complex realm of relationships. After a few heartbreaks and a failed marriage, she found herself yearning for something different. It was during one of her solo travels to London that she stumbled upon a swinging club, "The Velvet Chamber."

Curiosity led her inside, and from the moment she stepped into the dimly lit establishment, she felt a certain electricity in the air, a palpable aura of excitement and liberation that seemed to beckon her. The club, with its plush furnishings and sensuous ambiance, was a far cry from the quaint and picturesque village life she was accustomed to.

As she explored the club, Lucy found herself in the company of open-minded, non-judgmental individuals. The club was a place where people could be themselves, explore their desires, and embrace the freedom to express their sexuality without fear of condemnation. It was, in Lucy's view, a haven for those who sought a different kind of connection.

The swinging lifestyle, as she soon discovered, was more than just about sexual encounters; it was about forging meaningful connections and relationships that went beyond the physical. Lucy met individuals who were articulate, intelligent, and eager to engage in thoughtful conversations about relationships, desires, and boundaries.

One evening, while sipping a cocktail at the club's bar, Lucy met Mark and Sarah, a charming couple who were the embodiment of warmth and charisma. Their story of how they'd navigated the swinging world together piqued her interest.

Mark and Sarah had been married for a decade and credited the swinging lifestyle with rejuvenating their relationship. What fascinated Lucy was the deep level of trust and communication they had developed through their experiences. They emphasized the importance of setting boundaries, constantly checking in with each other, and ensuring that their adventures always remained consensual.

Lucy found herself drawn to the idea of a relationship like Mark and Sarah's – one built on trust, transparency, and a shared sense of adventure. The swinging lifestyle seemed to provide the perfect framework for this kind of connection.

Over the months that followed, Lucy explored her own desires and boundaries. She learned to communicate openly, set clear limits, and engage in experiences that resonated with her on a deeper level. It was in the swinging community that she discovered the true meaning of consent, an essential cornerstone of this lifestyle.

But it wasn't just about the emotional and psychological aspects that drew Lucy in. The physicality of the swinging world, she realized, allowed for a level of sexual exploration and liberation that she had never encountered before. She reveled in the empowerment that came from being in control of her own desires and unapologetically expressing them.

Lucy's friends and neighbors in the Cotswolds were oblivious to her secret life. She knew that her choice to embrace the swinging lifestyle was unconventional, but it felt liberating and empowering. In a world filled with societal expectations, Lucy found her own path to happiness.

Through the swinging community, Lucy met like-minded individuals who celebrated diversity, free expression, and acceptance. She learned that love and connection could manifest in countless forms, and her swinging experiences had given her a profound appreciation for the myriad ways people could bond.

To Lucy, the swinging club was a place where she could be her authentic self, explore her desires, and establish meaningful connections. It wasn't about rebelling against societal norms but about embracing a lifestyle that resonated with her and allowed her to experience relationships on her own terms.

In the heart of the Cotswolds, Lucy led a life that might seem ordinary to her friends and neighbors, but in the dimly lit corners of "The Velvet Chamber" and other swinging clubs, she reveled in the unconventional wonderland that she had found, a place where she felt truly alive. Lucy's story was a testament to the idea that love and connection could be found in unexpected places, and that the path to happiness is often deeply personal and unique.

[midnightsmisery]

Have you ever heard of USE SOMEBODY by Charlie Simpson well, it describes ANDREW "DREW" CERULLI to a tee! the twenty six year old, and LINE COOK AT RICCI'S was spotted browsing through the stalls at portobello road market last sunday, do you know them? would you say HE is more stoic or more LOYAL instead? anyway, they remind me black coffee, leather bound journals with chicken scratch on every page, the smell of fresh pasta sauce being prepared and the roar of a lion when someone threatens their pride.

Introduction

FULL NAME: Andrew Francis Cerulli

NICKNAME(S): Drew

AGE: Twenty Six

GENDER & PRONOUNS: Cis Male / He

DATE OF BIRTH: December 26th 1996

ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn

OCCUPATION: Line Cook at Ricci's

SEXUALITY: Straight

Biography

Drew has been described as quiet or shy by just about every person he's ever met. Teachers would often seat him next to the talkative bad students, hoping to break him and force him into any form of socialization. Despite their best efforts, the boy didn't have much to say. He was a low maintenance kind of guy, he was easy to keep assumed and wasn't hard to please. At home there were so many voices going at once and he didn't want to be apart of the noise. With Atlas, Drew and Cole so close in age that usually if one of them needed something, by default all three would get it. Even as small kids if he was hungry or too cold, Cole would be the one to cry and ask for those things. All he had to do was nod when asked if he was too.

As he got older he began to talk more, learning to define himself and his needs apart from his siblings. While he was still more reserved than the other four Cerulli kids, he came out of his shell when he had one on one time with people. He could talk for hours about his fascination with foods from other cultures and the chefs that made them. While you wouldn't guess it from just looking at him, he was a funny guy too. He cracked jokes and teased the ones he was close with. Learning to build connections in a more authentic form for him, rather than in large groups.

His love of food and the cooking industry eventually lead him around parts of Europe from the time he was twenty until he was twenty four. Learning the craft in kitchens of chef's that inspired him and scared him to death. While it wasn't a very financially rewarding career in the beginning, he knew if he could hold out a couple years and perfect his style, he'd make it big. He'd one day own his own restaurant and people would come from around the world to taste his dishes! But until then he had to pay his dues and work his way up the ladder in the kitchen. Even if it meant living with roommates you find online and eating most of your meals at work to cut costs. Drew was all in on this dream and not looking back.

Relationships

coming soon...

[52booksproject]

Book 23: The Kiss Quotient

My random letters came up eventually as HO and so I chose The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang. It's a romance novel with the premise that Stella, a woman on the Autism spectrum hires a male prostitute, Michael, to get better at sex, and eventually hires him as a practice boyfriend. Needless to say they fall in love and along the way have crazy good sex.

I really liked the first part of this book. The sex scenes are hot and it's got a decent premise for the will they won't they. I can't say how authentic the portrayal of the main character is (she has the A syndrome that is no longer diagnosed), dunno what experience the author has, but it seemed ok to me.

Unfortunately the book completely just crumbles near the end. The main character is forcibly kissed by a coworker and while she's washing her mouth out later and crying, Michael threatens to beat the shit out of him. Stella begs him not to, seeing as how the guy is a co-worker and a family friend, not to mention that would land Michael in jail no matter how much the co-worker deserved it. So he immediately starts accusing her of liking the kiss and getting crazy jealous. Ok, EWWWWWW, she just got assaulted- she's fucking washing her mouth out- and he's got a rage boner and he pressures her to kiss and then have sex with him to get out his feelings of jealousy. No! Bad boyfriend! *sprays spraybottle at him* If anyone ever tries to pull this crap, and they're not a Meta Magic Bard Bad Boy Parasaurolophus, run!

The book limps to the end after that, but of course it's completely ruined. But if it hadn't had that really disgusting part it would have been pretty good.

BEST LINE: "Am I sitting on your cum cushions?"

SHOULD YOU READ THIS BOOK? I'd say no. The grossout behavior is really too much. I wouldn't dis-recommend the author though, assuming this bad boyfriend was a one off. She writes well and the book was otherwise interesting.

ART PROJECT:

The "hero" Michael is supposed to look like K-Drama star Daniel Henney, who you may know as Lan from Wheel of Time. So I drew him and what I presume his reaction to getting compared to this dickweed character would be.

[369-destructioniscreation]

Me and Louis Tomlinson

Ahh, it's good to be back. After such a long pause on Tumblr, busy writing other things for other people in other places. I've come back here for a place to put my random thoughts and the shit nobody wants to read anyway. But this is my first post in a long time and I'm starting over from scratch so how many people will read this one is a mystery.

Let’s start with this one. It’s bound to raise some fists in the crowd, and I'm here for it.

It’s March 22, 2023. I'm going to see a movie tonight and I'll be reviewing it in a day or so. Actually a documentary from a guy named Louis Tomlinson. I've been following him for a while, respectfully lurking because I just don't have the energy or the time to fully immerse in the chit chat debates about his love life, assumed to be surreptitiously covered up with his former bandmate Harry Styles. Yeah, I realize that's not what's in the media but I don't believe much of anything in the media. Do you?

I'll start with this because apparently some people think this guy is gay and always has been. He says he's straight in the public eye but honestly I don't care. I’m a straight male through and through but I do think this guy is extremely good looking but that doesn't mean I want to cuff him (although I often reconsider that position) but that's not what drew me to him.

There's always been something about him that's different from every other singer celebrity I follow, and I follow quite a few for writing purposes, but most of them I don't think much about. All part of a breed, cookie cutter and stereotyped that have a singular purpose of one-upping each other for attention. Yeah, I get it. It's a competitive field but come up with something new and interesting because you're boring me. Rubbing your dick on stage or dressing up is fine but give me something more substantial to chew on.

I've always liked Tomlinson. He's more authentic and I'm craving that these days. He was my favorite from that band One Direction. TBH I was never a big fan of boy bands. I'm a little older than those boys and was more into heavy metal and louder chaotic punk alternative. Think Blink, Green Day, Foo Fighters, Stone Roses, The Cure, and even REM,  Soundgarden, and Oasis, a far cry from the pop bands the young girls cried over.

I've noticed a lot of crying (screaming, kicking, fighting) in that fandom and here's one of the reasons and I'm going to give you my perspective. I'm a skeptic until proven as truth. I'm doomed to think logically, scientifically. I need a motive and part of my job is to question.

[windupnamazu]

apples to apples

ffxivwrite2022 #10: channel emulate or seem to be inspired by.

lunya/g'raha and their kids, with several mentions: @nuclearanomaly's ninira; @whitherliliesbloom's illya, eulalie, and ipheion; @fistsoflightning's oki; and @hqmillioncorn's cherrypit. post-canon/future fic. 1293wc. ⮞ they say the mirror apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but g'raha and luneth probably could have done this in a less embarrassing manner.

The double cry of "we're home!" drew some but not all eyes away from the board game the family was gathered around at the entrance hall's coffee table.

Lunya's smile grew at the sight of her twins in the doorway, pulling off backpacks and belt attachments and kicking off their shoes. Their father was distracted, frowning at his dice rolls and muttering beneath his breath as he shifted tokens on his faction card—one of the perils of playing a war game with a competitive Sharlayan and former leader of a city-state—but when Nynya bounced over to press her cheek to his own G'raha was all warmth as he reached up to ruffle her hair.

"Welcome back," Lunya cooed as Nynya gave her her beso next while Luneth followed behind her, greeting G'raha first. The week had been long without them around the house, but they both had the satisfied glow of completing a good adventure. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah!" her little spark chirped, plopping onto the floor by her feet and immediately pawing her sister's hand out of the way in the tortilla chip bowl. Chichiro rolled her eyes, swatting back good naturedly before retreating to spoon more salsa on her plate. "We stopped by Tita Nini's place first thing and she gave Luneth this sick new robe!" (What she didn't say was that the three of them then gorged themselves on Ninira's gigantic stash of cookies she'd been saving for them, forcing Estinien to babysit them overnight as they griped about stomach aches and nausea and Luneth's hypoglycemia kicking in.)

"Second-Mama's Boy," Liliru coughed, sticking her tongue out when Luneth scrunched his face at her. The kids were quite fond of their boldly hypocritical proclamations; none of them were shy about having favourites among Lunya and G'raha's extended family of friends, which Lunya had been far too slow to realize in order to stomp it out of any of them early enough.

Linnet dropped her tortilla chip in the guacamole as she looked up, which Colala snatched and stuffed right in her mouth before she could realize she had. "She's right, sick robe, Neth! Wait, where's my chip?"

The "sick robe" in question was a long cape coat made in a deep blue that shimmered like the night, lined with gold embroidery of four-point stars and constellations, silk tassels and crystals hanging from looping chains at his waist. Inside the hood was a lining made from authentic Thavnairian silk, gold and silver brocade shimmering throughout. Luneth flushed at all the sudden attention and sank into the plush ottoman to Nynya's left, though he was clearly overjoyed with their aunt's gift.

"Oh, oh, get a load of this," Nynya faux-whispered conspiratorially, her sisters and mom leaning in closer. "We stumbled on the Leveilleur twins in Mor Dhona, and y'know what Luneth did?"

"Nynya," hissed Luneth, which meant that this story was going to be particularly juicy. He kicked at her ankle and she yelped as she jerked it away, banging her knee on the underside of the table as she did. "Nynya, stop talking."

But Nynya refused. "He climbed the scaffolding above the Find and jumped into the middle of their conversation!!!" Lunya nearly screamed. On her right, G'raha went completely still. "I thought he was gonna break his legs!"

"Did he do a flip?" Chichiro wondered.

"Doubt it," Liliru decided. "In front of Ate Eu? He'd mess up his hair."

"And Mr. Rammbroes doesn't even blink, he just goes, well, if it isn't G'raha's runt! I take it you're interested in Allagan history as well! and Ipheion's staring at Lun like he's grown another head and I thought Eu was going to faint and we'd have to call Tito Al's linkpearl like, hey sorry, my supergenius brother thought he could impress your daughter by giving her a HEART ATTACK—"

"Alphinaud's done worse to show off in front of Liya," Lunya dismissed. "Like the sea urchin incident."

"So he sets us up with a job (yes, Mama, we got paid, I was listening when you told us we can't just do every task for free) to protect this relic that's being targeted by Ilsabardian smugglers, and it turned into this WHOLE THING. Also he said something about the scaffolding in the Find being far too old for the men in our family to keep doing 'that sort of thing' on?"

Luneth and G'raha both seemed to be trying to melt through the furniture as Nynya's story picked up speed.

"—so we gather in the hall BUT THEN," Nynya began to yell all while she was leaping up and down in a bold impression of a younger Lunya or perhaps a frog, "THE GIGAS START BREAKING DOWN THE DOOR, AND YOU KNOW HOW HELPFUL AND RESPONSIBLE OUR LUN IS, RIGHT?"

"Yeaaaah," their sisters chimed in long-suffering unison. Little old ladies loved Luneth as much as their friends complained that their parents were always going on about how they should act more like him.

"HE SLAMS HIS STAFF IN THE GROUND AND HE SAYS—" If the other inhabitants of the house weren't listening in before, they certainly were now, and Lunya thought she caught a flash of her and Luneth's carbuncles zipping after Gyosei through the growing crowd of legs upstairs as Nynya dropped her voice to a pitch more like Luneth's in a rather impressive display of vocal control. "—HEED ME, MY FRIENDS—"

"WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS," Luneth wailed as he jumped to his feet and began to rattle Nynya like a salt shaker. The absurdity of it all was only amplified with their height difference—when Luneth finally hit his growth spurt at fifteen summers he nearly doubled in height and was now a solid ilm taller than G'raha, to the horror of literally everyone else in the house. Admittingly, he was still considered short to the rest of Etheirys, but his mother was a Lalafell. "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!!!"

"Indoor voices," Lunya reminded them serenely.

For her ears alone G'raha murmured, "My lodestar," his face red with the trials of enduring second-hand embarrassment and refreshing a memory over two decades old that you were hoping to lose as you approached your 50s, "have pity on our son."

As she always had when he was being silly, Lunya simply reached up and patted his cheek indulgently. "Nah."

"—WE RISE TO UNLIMITED HEIGHTS WHEN WE STAND TOGETHER," Nynya bellowed with a hysterical cackle, voice warbling as Luneth continued to shake her. "TOGETHER, WE CAN ONLY PREVAIL! Eulalie thought this was all very cool, by the way, but Oki thought it would've been better if we threw flower petals while he was making the speech."

"Asdbhfbwngawba," Luneth babbled as he dropped his twin and hid his face in his fancy sleeves.

"Awww, our baby boy's all grown up," Linnet said dotingly. "Look at him, impressing girls."

Chichiro harrumphed. "To think it was just yesterday he was begging us to order his meals for him."

Doing a very terrible attempt at holding back a shit-eating grin, Lunya looked her husband in the eye as she squeezed his knee. "This sounds an awful lot like some of the stunts you pulled when we were younger, Lord Exarch."

G'raha pulled his glasses from his nose so he could bury his face in his hands, making it especially clear which of his parents Luneth got that habit from. "It's… not too late to stop telling them tales…"

"Don't worry, Papa," Liliru said with a patient-yet-remarkably-condescending pat to G'raha's elbow as she offered him a chip, the board game now forgotten completely in between the bowls and plates of that evening's meryenda. "Titito Cherry's already told us all the cringe shit you did when he was a baby."

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Drawing | Colson Baker

Requested? Yup! I hope you like it :) @bakerkells

Warnings? None 

Summary: Ever since knowing Colson Baker, you’ve always had an affinity for drawing him 

Word Count: 1,245

You sit relaxed, legs extended in front of you with your worn sketchpad propped on your legs. Music plays in the background, your Apple Music playlist displaying random songs. Your hand works mindlessly, sketching lightly over the already messy page and casting a glance up at the sunset you're trying to recreate.

"Baby!" you hear Colson call out as you continue to draw.

Your boyfriend comes bounding into the room, a wide smile spread across his lips. He heads over to you, collapsing into the seat next to you and tilting his head to see what you're drawing. You continue to sketch as Colson slides an arm around your waist and you lean into his touch.

"Whatcha drawing?" he asks, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

"Sunset,” you murmur and he hums in response.

You had been drawing practically your entire life. You had started young, doodling along the sides of notebooks during class, drawing on the back of tests and all over binders. It became a habit to make everything personalized with a touch of your drawing. 

Over time your skills improved and you continued to draw and eventually paint as you fell in love with the art. You drew and painted anything before you, loving putting your own spin on anything. 

When you moved to Los Angeles, your inspiration only grew. You and your best friend had planned for years to move out of your small town to the city of angels ever since your obsession with movies started. You both wanted to see where it's all created and add to the magic. Your best friend wanted to be an actress while you wanted to display your art.

One day you had been sitting at Starbucks with your best friend, zoning slightly as she talked excitedly about her new project for what seemed like the millionth time. As you look out at the people around you, a boy catches your eye.

He's waiting in line, phone in right hand while his left arm wraps around himself. Your eyes trail over his features a sharp jawline accompanies sharp blue eyes, and a tiny double x tattoo decorates just below his ear.

You instinctively pull a napkin towards you, grabbing the pen you keep in your hair you begin to sketch the boy. Memorizing each detail your hand works faster than your eyes trail and before you know it, a rough sketch of the blonde decorates the Starbucks napkin.

“Who is that?” your best friend asks, her eyes trained on the napkin.

“Oh, uh-“ you begin but your best friend is already looking around the small shop. 

She spots the boy still waiting in line, and a devious smile forms upon her lips. She grabs your pen from the table starting to write something on the napkin but hiding it from your eyes.

“I'll be back,” she says, shooting you a wink before grabbing the napkin and getting up.

You watch as she marches straight up to the boy and begins talking to him. You're horrified as she hands him the napkin, and gestures back to you. He glances back to you, a smile ghosting his lips as he looks at you before turning back to your best friend. They exchange a few words before she heads back over to you.

"What did you do?” you ask when she sits back down.

"Gave him your number," she says with a shrug of her shoulders.

“You're fucking crazy."

“And you’re talented. Can we go?” 

Shortly after you leave, a text pops up on your phone and you stop in your tracks. Your best friend gives you a curious look and you smile widely as you read the text.

“A little creepy, but flattering nonetheless thanks for the portrait,” it reads and you’re flushed from head to toe at this point. 

“Does someone have a crush already?” your best friend jokes. 

“Shut it.” 

That was how you met your boyfriend Colson Baker. You had always had an affinity for sketching strangers, you loved catching their natural gaze and stature. It was authentic and beautiful and something you liked to keep for your sketchbook. 

However, you had never given any of your sketches to the people you drew. You were beyond grateful for your best friend stepping in that day. Ever since, you and Colson were inseparable and later fell for each other.

Two years later, you hadn't stopped drawing Colson. Falling head over heels for the man of your dreams only made you more enchanted by him. You swore you found a new detail to love and engrave in your sketches every time you looked at the love of your life. 

From studio sketches, to dinners out, to random late nights together, you had what felt like hundreds of sketches of Col in your notebook. It became second nature to you, and you were surprised that Colson didn’t know that you always ended up sketching him. 

Colson leans his head on your shoulder as you continue to sketch. His hand rests on your thigh, tracing patterns against the exposed skin. You're distracted as he moves his hand farther up and you stop drawing altogether.

"Colson,” you whine and the older boy smiles mischievously.

He pulls your sketchbook from your hands and tosses it onto the coffee table forgotten for the moment. His hand slides up to your cheek and he pulls you in with ease as your lips meet his. You turn to meet him and his arm circles your waist pulling you into him.

You end up in his lap, legs swung over his as you sink into his touch. You're flush against each other as his hand travels from your cheek to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. As you let go for air, you're smiling at Col and he leans his forehead on yours.

“What’s that?” Colson asks and you sit up straighter giving him a confused look.

His eyes trail to your sketchbook that ended up on a page that you sketched Colson on. It was your favorite sketch of your boyfriend you had ever drawn. He was hunched over the soundboard scribbling notes and lyrics most likely for the new album.

Colson picks up the drawing with care, and you watch as his eyes trail over it. A smile breaks wide over his lips and you grow nervous as he continues to scan the sketch.

“You drew this?” he asks in a quiet voice.

“Uhm yeah, when you were writing bloody valentine I think.” 

“Baby you make me look good,” he says and you laugh lightly.

“Darling, that's what you always look like to me. No one else catches my eye like you do.”

Colson looks up at you with the most endearing look in his eye that almost makes you cry. You recognize the look in his eye, it's the same one you have when drawing him. It radiates love and the most adoring energy.

“Have you been drawing me ever since we met?” he asks, now flipping through the rest of your sketchbook, a gleam in his eye. 

“Pretty much yeah,” you admit and Colson smiles again. 

“Well I’ve been writing songs about you since we met so I guess we’re even,” he says and you giggle quietly.

He pulls you in again, dropping your sketchbook once more to wrap his arms completely around you and soak up the love from the two of you.

[emotions-ew]

A Collection of Queer Country Artists and Songs for anyone who doesn’t feel like there’s country music they can relate to...

There is this idea that country music is like just Republican men singing about beer, and trucks and also Jesus,  and that is kind of fair because loads of it is but there are some cool as hell queer/lgbtq+ country artists. Finding those and finding that representation in a genre of music I was literally raised on kind of changed my life in a tiny way and I wanted to share that.

(This is by no means a comprehensive list and also I’m basing the “Country” part of this sometimes on my subjective opinion/limited music knowledge so yuh please don’t hate me if I get some wrong)

Also link below for a Spotify playlist of my favourite gay/gayish country music, some mentioned in this post some not, (with a title that isn’t obviously gay for anyone who can’t openly listen to gay stuff on their public accounts for whatever reason) so feel free to skip the massive essay and just jump straight to that. And pretty please repost if I missed anyone/ any songs you love.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7KB6PmUxnpkU7lih8Bysvw

Artists To Follow:

Chely Wright

- Right off the bat, Chely Wright is a legend and I’m in love with her. So, in the 90′s Chely Wright was kind of a huge deal. She started her career as a singer/songwriter and released her first album in ‘94, which was critically acclaimed although never reached the commercial success of her later works. By ‘97 she was really hitting her stride, dropping her breakout hit “Shut up and Drive” (a personal favourite of mine) followed two years later by the biggest hit of her career “Single White Female”. Throughout all that Chely Wright was, to the world, a good old fashioned, heterosexual southern gal. Privately it was a bit of a different story. She had public relationships with male country artists, all while pursuing a secret decade long relationship with a woman. 

I hadn’t ever really heard a Chely Wright song until a few years ago so I never knew about her music or career pre-coming out but I do know that even though by the time she came out in 2010 she was by no means at the height of her fame Chely Wright is kind of one of the biggest names in country music to be out and proud (in my opinion) and I love her like an insane amount. I literally play her music in my car when I have passengers just so I can be like “fun fact this singer is actually gay-” and then subject them to a lengthy explanation of her entire career. She came out with an album and a memoir and the album is my favourite of her work because it’s so fucking raw and because I relate to most of it immensely. Anyways Chely Wright went fucking through it in her journey to being her authentic self and now she’s out and proud and married to a woman and they have a family together and I’m a fucking sucker for a happy ending and y’all should add her to every playlist you have. And on top of that her music is genuinely good. Coming out undoubtedly damaged her career but I think that

Brandi Carlile 

- As far as I can tell Brandi Carlile has been out her whole career. I feel like this list is just going to be me saying “I’m in love with her” about a bunch of women old enough to be my mother but in my defence, I am honestly in love with her. She’s been making music since she was like, seventeen, and has had a bunch of massive hits, as a singer, songwriter, and producer. If you want to cry kind of happy tears listen to her performance of “Bring my Flowers Now” with Tanya Tucker. She’s won Grammy’s and CMT awards and she’s done it all as an out Queer woman. She’s also a founding member of The Highwomen, an all-female country music group who released their first album in 2019, comprised of Carlile, Marren Morris, Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires. I really love this band because they’re four artists who are immensely successfully in their own right collabing, much like the Highwaymen, and their music is phenomenal while also being a fuck you to mainstream country music and their inability to properly represent women in country music spaces. 

She’s been married to a woman (smoking hot and also brilliant) since 2012 and they have two kids together and if you want to cry (again) then you have to listen to her song “Mother” about her eldest daughter. A queer country artist absolutely worth adding to all your playlists. 

Brooke Eden

- As I understand it Eden came out publicly in January of this year. She’s engaged to Hilary Hoover, who she’s been dating since 2015 apparently. I can’t even imagine the pressure that must be on a person and how stressful it would be to keep a relationship secret from the whole world for years and personally I think they’re a cute as hell couple and I wish them literally all the happiness in the world. 

Brooke Eden has a few older songs that I think are really good, my favourite being “Act Like You Don’t”, and while her new stuff isn’t my usual country vibe I am a sucker for literally anything gay and it is legally my gay duty to stream any song that she releases to support my fellow queer. It’s quite different to anything Wright or Carlile sing but I actually kind of love that because it shows that country music of all different shapes and sizes and styles can be sung by queer artists. 

Amythyst Kiah

- Okay so I am a very new listener to Amythyst Kiah, but her music is literally so beautiful it would be a straight up sin to not include her on this list. Her music is country-blues-roots esq (more roots than country, I think?) and her voice is so unique. She grew up in Chattanooga and has been playing music since childhood. She recently made her Opry debut which is fucking awesome. She also belongs to a band called Our Native Daughters, described as “A supergroup of Black women in traditional music”. Their debut album “Songs of Our Native Daughters” did numbers and I haven’t listened to the whole thing but my favourite so far are “Black Myself” and “I Knew I Could Fly” so y’all add that to your playlists along with “Wild Turkey” by Amythyst Kiah because holy hell her voice on that will blow your mind.

Steve Grand

-        The first man to make this list, he should frankly be honoured. Grand has been an out and proud gay man making country music since like 2013, and I have so much respect for an artist who chose to simply never be in, choosing instead to simply write gay ass songs about being in love with men and letting the chips fall where they man. His music is always going to have a special place in my heart and, he’s cute so if you’re into men and music by men give him a google. add him to your playlists, his All-American Boy album is literally just a dozen songs that are perfect to yell-sing along to.

Katie Pruitt

-        Not hugely knowledgeable on Katie Pruitt but her music makes me feel crazy intense emotions and is absolutely gay

 Honorable Mention Artists I haven’t Really Listened to But Who I Know to be gay thanks to google and might be your thing so totally check them out:

Brandy Clark

Ty Herndon

Shelly Fairchild

Lavendar Country

Trixie Mattel

Cameron Hawthorn

Drop any other names of artists or songs you know of 

 Specific Songs That Make Me Fucking Cry or (in good and bad ways (but always in a gay way)) or basically are just gay as hell:

If She Ever Leaves Me; The Highwomen

- So, this album came out about a week before my first (and only) girlfriend broke up with me. The general gist of the song is a woman singing about how her loved isn’t ever going to leave her but if she does it sure as hell won’t be for a creepy man in a bar. A little ironic that I felt I related to it so intensely, considering she did in fact leave me. There’s this one lyric that goes “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve lover here out loud/the sky hasn’t always been blue” and my girlfriend and I were crazy deep in the closet so I drew her a cute little picture of a grey cloud and on the back I wrote that lyric and I gave it to her and to me it was kind of a promise that one day I’d get a chance to love her out loud and even though I never actually did this song is forever going to make me cry because of the little bit of hope that lyric gave me and the way it’s inclusion on this overwhelmingly mainstream country album made me feel like acceptance was just that little bit closer. 

 All American Boy; Steve Grand

- Definitely one of the first gay country songs I ever heard, and Steve Grand didn’t once sacrifice a scrap of country for the gay. It’s beautiful, it’s a little sad, it’s hopeful. It’s forever going to hold a special place in my heart and the music videos is kind of one of my favourites ever. I found this song before I found myself and the way it made my heart warm should have been a stronger sign than I took it to be. 

Like Me; Chely Wright

- When you love someone you kind of make it your mission to know them in a way that no one else can. This song by Chely Wright is sort of an ode to that, and how even once you lost someone, you’re still going to know every little thing about them. On top of that it sort of speaks to the idea that all these things Wright learned about this woman, she learned in secret and she knew her and loved her in secret and now that they’re gone from each other she’s left with all of this knowledge and all of these questions and no one to answer them. I love the way it’s so slow and the melody and her voice, the way it’s low and a little raspy, make this one of my favourite Chely Wright songs.

The Mother; Brandi Carlile

-        Sorry but a song about being a mother by a queer woman is going to make me cry every time and actually I’m not that sorry. It’s quite a simple song, if any song written by Brandi Carlile can ever be described as ‘simple’, it’s an ode to her daughter. My favourite line is “you are not an accident/where no one thought it through” because it speaks to the fact that in order for queer women to have a kid together they have to want it so damn bad and also I just like the way her voice sounds on that line. This song is also the perfect thing to listen to if you ever for a second feel like being gay/queer is going to stand in the way of you having a family because it absolutely doesn’t have to and if that’s something you want, you can have it. Don’t let people try and convince you otherwise.

Loving Her; Katie Pruitt

-        Unapologetic gay love. Opening a song with “If loving hers a sin, I don’t wanna go to heaven” is a fucking baller move and she went there. The lyrics are beautiful, and her voice is phenomenal. It could be a sad song, about confronting religious repression and grappling with what that means for your love, but instead its triumphant. Katie Pruitt doesn’t give a fuck if you have a problem because she’s going to write songs for her lover.

Jesus From Texas; Semler

-        Not actually totally sure this is a country song, but it has the words ‘Jesus’ and ‘Texas’ in the title so I feel safe including it in this list. Honestly, I don’t really know why I relate so hard to this song. Like, I wasn’t really raised with religion, so I don’t know what it is about this funky little tune that makes me want to sob but there’s something about this tune that makes me want to do whatever the opposite of get up and dance is, but like, in a good way.

Lovin’ Again; Steve Grand

-        Breakup song that ends kind of positively? So good to sing along to at high, high volumes. The idea that losing someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself and just because you can’t love them doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to love again. But also kind of about how it’s hard to get over someone, I don’t know it’s just good.

Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears; Lavender Country

-        Jesus christ if this isn’t the coolest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sorry but a gay country group formed in 1972 who dropped possibly the first gay themed country album, and this was the title of one of the songs. God I am in love.

 Songs that (to me) are a little fruity or that I just relate to in a gay way:

Picket Fences; Chely Wright

-          Chely Wright is gay but this song came out long before she did and when she wrote it, it wasn’t supposed to be gay which is why it’s in this section and not the previous. The reason it’s included at all is because frankly ma’am, Mrs Wright, it’s a little fruity. And I feel a little bad for joking because honestly to me, the way I hear this song and knowing the context (that Wright was deeply closeted at the time she wrote and released it), it’s kind of just sad. The general gist of the song is Wright asking what’s so great about a traditional lifestyle anyways. It could be read as a woman genuinely questioning why we push that expectation that she’ll have two kids and a husband and a picket fence lifestyle, or even could be read as a woman who’s trying to deflect how much she does in fact want that, you have to listen and form your own opinion. But to me, it feels like a woman who’s desperately trying to justify why she doesn’t want that life not because she can’t have it, but she knows it will never be right for her. I don’t know it’s hard to explain I just feel like this song is a little bit gay even though I’m sure she didn’t intend that.

Sinning with You; Sam Hunt

-          Sorry but this song is gay. Sorry but you can’t write the lines “I never felt like I was sinning with you/Always felt like I could talk to God in the morning” and “if it’s so wrong why did it feel so right” and “But I never felt shame, never felt sorry/Never felt guilty touching your body” and not to mention the opening line of “raised in the first pew/praises for yeshua/case of a small town repression”, and expect to not sit in my car sobbing as I realised that while I never felt like what we did was a sin she absolutely did, and wishing I could have told her that I was sorry for making her carry the weight of both our souls but also that it wasn’t a sin and nothing in the world could feel that good and be that bad and it isn’t right that she had to be so ashamed of something that was just so good. Sam Hunt actually said after he wrote the song that while it was reflection on his own relationship with faith he genuinely hopes that people in the lgbtq community can like find comfort or whatever in his words and like go off king, we stan an ally.

  How do I Get There; Deana Carter

-          This ones easy, it’s about falling in love with your best friend and suddenly realising you want more than just friendship with them. Sorry Deana, that’s gay. In my Deana Carter of like Year 10 I played this song on repeat and screamed along to the lyrics as though singing it hard enough would make her like me back.

[shinonometrash]

💕🍄The 12 Days of Ayumu 🍄💕

July 15th, Day 10 of Ayumu’s Birthday Celebration Countdown!!

And today we’re finishing up the Peach Fanclub booklets!! After that, I’m excited for y’all to see Ayumu’s birthday eve and Ayumu’s birthday day posts, they’re some pretty big items!!!!!

Diary Entry: December 9

A case of peach nectar got bought. It seems the store was running a campaign where if you buy one case of peach nectar then you get a free key holder. She specifically bought it with no intentions of drinking them herself.

But, it’s not that she’s going to give me the entire case, either. Instead, she’s going to bring me one everyday...gross. She went on about things like how it makes her happy just to come hand deliver me things and whatnot, but that was just an extra hassle to come up with. What’s the point of making up excuses to come see me when she should normally see me anyway? Ah, well, I guess it’s hard to deny that I have that habit as well...But I get that it would be nice to be told honestly that you wanted to see me. Even with the relationship ban, we work in the same department, so it wouldn’t be that strange to say.

As for the key holder, I put it in my desk. In an office full of sharp sighted people, who knows what they’d say if they saw it. Just thinking about it makes me feel down. 

But, even though it’s for something so trivial, she still thought of me while she was going about her day...is it trivial? I feel like her way of thinking is starting to rub off on me as well. ...but regardless, let’s get in contact this weekend so that we can go buy some peach nectar.

Diary Entry: December 14

It’s cold. Lately all I’ve been doing is staring at my computer screen so I haven’t really gotten to experience much of the season, but it is definitely winter. I keep forgetting that when I’m working. But, since there’s two people close to me who are very noisy about the festivities, I too am able to enjoy the different seasons.

The other day her and I went out. While we were in the middle of the city, we ended up seeing the shimmering lights. They were pretty. I guess you could say it was interesting. Even though we were on an authentic Christmas date, her feet just naturally headed in that direction. Honestly, I think it’s cute. I’m not going to tell her that though, cause she’ll get carried away. When I’m with her, things that I would usually have no interest in don’t seem too bad anymore.

I hope next year we can go out and do a lot of things together like we did this year. If we’re able to take a break, I’d like to go traveling, too.

Shinonome Draws Public Safety

After telling Shinonome that the people themselves would never see the pictures he draws, we had him draw everyone from Public Safety!

Goto

Am I dead?? -Goto

Wow, Goto really is my angel after all! -Kurosawa

It seems that Ayumu views him that way too -Soma

The hell is this? -Kaga

Hyogo

You’ve got guts -Kaga

I was completely unprepared, I didn’t expect to see something like this~  -Namba

And I thought the portrait of me was bad -Goto

Spitting image, you captured him perfectly -Ishigami

Ishigami

Spitting image, isn’t it? - Kaga

Hey, what happened to my eyes? - Ishigami

What’s that thing next to him? - Soma

Isn’t that pudding? - Tsugaru

Soma

Oh...? -Soma

lmaooooooooo -Tsugaru

So that’s what you think of him~ -Namba

Such a cute devil⭒ -Kurosawa

Chief

Is my beard really that dark? -Namba

This portrait is much better than the others -Goto

So you have the nerve to draw the chief seriously but none of the rest of us I see -Kaga

How unexpectedly cowardly of him, isn’t that cute? -Tsugaru

Toru

Looks just like him -Kaga

You really captured him perfectly -Soma

It’s perfect -Goto

Looks identical to Kurosawa -Ishigami

You drew his personality very well -Namba

Well done -Tsugaru

Hey, wait!! I don’t make this kind of disturbing psychopathic face!! -Kurosawa

Tsugaru and Momose

Is that a mole? -Tsugaru

Huh, that’s neat. It’s got its own identity. - Kaga

Momose looks possessed by a demon -Ishigami

Hey, be nice, call him a guardian spirit~ -Namba

Message For You

Seems we’re already at the end. So, how was it? Did you enjoy it?

I hope it met your expectations. For me, it surprisingly wasn’t too bad... Even now I still don’t really think I’m suited to be first place, though. But this...since it was your votes that made me first place, feels special. 

Thank you for giving me the chance to make so many special memories.

...dummy, I’m not being bashful. Let’s keep taking care of each other from now on.

brb just crying, I miss my mushroom boy so much TT he’s so Good!! TT

Thank you to @world-a-to-z​ for screenshots of the booklets!

Stay tuned for more Ayumu content in the upcoming days! You’ll find links to all the posted content here!

[ageofevermore]

Unsaid Emily

SUMMARY — and maybe it was the midnight ink on her wrist that tied her to him

WORD COUNT — 1.7k

───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆ﾟ: *. ☽ .* : ☆ﾟ. ─────

They had said goodbye to a child eight years before welcoming the second with shocked and scared hearts. They had promised to do things differently -- to like whatever she liked, watch whatever she watched, and love whatever she loved. They drew no boundary at personal belief when it came to this second child that shadowed the life of Luke, but they made no attempts to forgive and mend the empty spaces in their hearts where they had already done this. They had already gone through first steps, words, and heartbreaks. They had captured Luke’s seventeen years of life in their memory so perfectly watching hers felt faulty. They tried with everything they had to love her as they never loved Luke, but somehow that caused even more of a divide as everything was reminiscent of the deceased first born brunette. 

She had been away at school when his birthday rolled around; for the first time in her seventeen years of pitiful existence she didn’t blow out the candles on a stale chocolate cake. She spent the day away from stories of her brother, and instead  spent it knowing somewhere in the universe he wasn’t being smothered by Mitch and Emily’s persistent opinions. She couldn’t outrun home forever though. An amazing music program in Santa Monica pulled her away from LA for most weeks out of the year, but her mother was persistent that she abandon the dorms and visit home every so often. It was that fear of Luke again. He had instilled so many traumas that even trust with her was unruly and weak. 

She heard the doorbell ring as she was unpacking her pile of homework, the weekend away from school meaning nothing for the multiple classes she was taking weekly. Though the private boarding school was diverse in the makeup of their structured courses, she was still on a tightly wound schedule with instrumental practice and vocals along with mandatory academics like calculus. She hates calculus. She had only started around the corner because she heard the sound of her brother's name roll off of a stranger's tongue. The defined L sound was unmistakable, and partnered with the topic of music, the correlation was undeniable. 

“Yeah. That’s Luke, when he was two.” Mitch explained the picture between the girls grasp, eyes growing damp at the topic of his greatest failure as a parent. Luke was his perfect gift. 

“Do you have any other children?” The girl asked, gently setting the picture frame down and bringing her chocolate eyes up to Mitch’s. The gentleness of her expressions were weighing heavy on the hearts of a family that lived with the memory of Luke on their mind daily. Even with the retelling of his story the only fragment of his existence that she knew, hearing these words hurt.

“A daughter. Lily.” Mitch looked just behind the guest, eyes trailing over his daughter that shared the same midnight toned hair and hard blue eyes as his Luke once had. She stepped past the threshold connecting the foyer to the living room, ignoring the butterflies that spread through her stomach at a certain point across the hardwood. 

“I’m Lily.” She smiled tightly at the girl, hand extended in a polite greeting that was in no way authentic. Her heart was beating her ears, palms collecting sweat at the idea of knowing Luke from somebody else's perspective. 

“Julie.”  The two smiled at each other, both looking equally displaced despite this being Lily’s house, and having been Julie’s personal decision to come. Luke just had that effect on people. His memory made you hurt so deeply that anything other than crying felt wrong. 

“Did I hear the doorbell?” Emily asked, hand softly brushing against Lily’s back. Emily hadn’t even flinched when her child pulled away from the embrace, just accepted what had become routine since implementing the memory and the love of Luke. In remembering one child Mitch and Emily had completely pushed away the other. 

“Mom, this is Julie.” Lily introduced the two, her eyes wandering around the space that suddenly felt so full. She had stood in this same living room for seventeen years prior to the current evening and never had she got the sense of being complete. 

“Hello, Julie.” Emily smiled, looking over the girl standing in their living room with nothing more than a name to her purpose. “Oh, that’s a beautiful sweater.” 

She had never heard her mother speak so freely kindly towards others' clothing. She had woken the same morning, expecting the looks of judgement and unwarranted warnings that band-tees and vans had been the very wardrobe to have taken Luke’s life. 

When she had gotten Sunset Curve tattooed to the flesh of her wrist, binding her life to her brother's memory, they had gone mental. It had been tears of disappointment and pain at the foundation of an argument. They had come around eventually, but only off of the premise that they didn’t want to drive Lily away and watch her face death like Luke did. 

“Thanks. It’s my moms.” Julie looked down at her sweater, fingers softly brushing along the knitted material. By the solemn expression in her eyes, Lily knew that death had been upon her. Nobody bore such a heavy gleam without the persuading of trauma and grief. 

“Julie lives in the house where Luke and the band rehearsed. She was just telling me she found a song that Luke wrote.” Mitch looked down at Julie, all while Lily couldn’t shake the feeling of eyes on her. Looking around the room again, her heart jumped painfully in her chest at the orb of afterlife reflecting from the sun just behind Julie. As she stared into the rainbow colors of the orb, she couldn’t help but feel as though a set of eyes was sharing the encounter with her. 

Blinking away the delusion, Lily’s thumb traced the tattoo on her wrist, her eyes welling with tears. She might have rivaled a ghost all of her childhood, but she missed the soft and tender memories of her brother she didn’t have the heart to relearn. She could love him with everything she had, but never would see ask her parents about his short lived life. 

“It’s a song about a girl named Emily?” 

A tear fell from Lily’s eyes, while warm pools of grief framed the waterline of her blue optics, threatening to spill over at any second. She traced the spot where the orb of afterlife had once floated above the air with streaks of rainbow, but the sun had moved away and stopped casting a spotlight on the space. 

“Emily…” Mitch whispered into the open air of the space, eyes glazing over as he looked down to his wife that had beared two children and loved the first more than anything worldly. “I’m Emily.” She pleaded, although neither she nor Julie knew what she was asking for with her desperation soaked tone. 

“Then I think your son may have written a song for you.” Julie handed over the old and tattered piece of notebook paper that bore the same handwriting as all of Luke’s journals still stashed away in the attic. The same handwriting that lived permanently on her wrist, taking the shape of what his dream had once been. 

“First things first, we start the scene in reverse.” Lily had to shake the thought of music out of her focus, her body so heavily convinced that somewhere in the depths of her home a song was playing softly. The dimension of the vocals she heard was unlike any streaming platform ability, making her wonder if her mother had broken into the vinyls again. 

“All of the lines rehearsed disappeared from my mind when things got loud. One of us running out, I should've turned around, but I had too much pride. No time for goodbyes, didn't get to apologize, pieces of a clock that lies broken. If I could take us back, if I could just do that and write in every empty space the words ‘I love you’ in replace. Then maybe time would not erase me, if you could only know I never let you go, and the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave. Unsaid Emily. Silent days, mysteries and mistakes. Who'd be the first to break? I guess we're alike that way. He said, she said, conversations in my head, and that's just where they're gonna stay forever.” 

It was a ringing between her ears that brought the delusion to a standstill. As her fingers curl around her wrist as if to physically grab the midnight ink, the whisper of a voice in her focus becomes too prominent to ignore. 

“If I could take us back, if I could just do that, and write in every empty space the words ‘I love you’ in replace. Then maybe time would not erase me, if you could only know I never let you go, and the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave. Unsaid Emily. If I could take us back, if I could just do that, and write in every empty space the words ‘I love you’ in replace, then maybe time would not erase me. If you could only know I never let you go.” She hears the words through herself so clearly, she’s certain the words she can practically feel are the same as what’s written on the page between her mother's fingertips. She doesn’t understand it, but somehow she knows. 

It’s him. Luke. Her big brother. 

Her wrist flashes hot for a second, startling her enough to abandon the tight locked gaze she has on the empty space behind Julie and look down at her reddening skin. “And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave. Unsaid Emily.” 

A cold shock ran through her body in contrast to the searing hot pain circulating her wrist. She sniffled when the last sung Emily sounded through her body, the vibrato sounding so close to her it was paralyzing. When she found her bearings and the jelly like feeling in her legs dispersed to her heart, she looked back up at Julie.  

With one last fleeting glance towards the empty space behind Julie, the sight of a blue-eyed boy looking tearfully beyond herself, calmed the burn in her wrist. She made eye contact with the boy, a name fitting comfortably on her tongue despite the impossibility of it all. 

“Luke…”