#dressed in what GA was wearing at the 1996 Telegatto Awards in Itally

[freckleslikestars]

Bay

Mulder and Scully at Charlie Scully and his partner’s commitment ceremony, circa late season three. All this really is is a discussion about homophobia in the scully family. Also I’m drunk so don’t yell at me if my punctualion is bad.

1267 words, read here on AO3

Light piano music filled the summer air, the soft scent of jasmine coiling around every corner as warm California sunlight pervaded the shadows. Gentle chit-chat could be heard as the friends and family of her brother and his partner milled about the venue. Well, friends of Charlie: she was his only family in attendance. As far as she was aware, nobody else had received so much as an invite.

It wasn’t a wedding. Of course, not. It was 1996, and even the most developed, progressive countries seemed awfully close-minded when it came to love.

But everyone was dressed in their finery and there had been poetry and declarations and vows at the ceremony, and now there was prosecco and an open bar, with speeches and dancing to look forward to.

She found herself perched in the seat of a bay window, toying with the earrings her brother had chosen – along with the beaded floral dress and the sheer wrap and the shoes and the hair and...well, pretty much every aspect of how she looked for his day – and trying to blend into the vines of flowers climbing the walls.

‘Ah, there you are, I thought I lost you,’ a glass was proffered, an elegant hand holding it by the stem, not the bowl. She forgot, sometimes, his upbringing, ‘I know you said wine, but they’re doing cosmos, and, well...’

‘Thanks,’ she smiled, ‘you know, many bartenders credit the gay community and pride with the popularity of the Cosmopolitan. Kamikazes were big in the eighties, so Cheryl Cook, who was working in a lot of gay bars at the time, exchanged the lime juice for cranberry to make it pink and slightly sweeter. That’s why Dan drinks them, he likes the history.’

‘Fascinating,’ Mulder smiled down at her, clinked their glasses together and took a sip. He looked around the room at all the happy, laughing faces, ‘so, tell me, why are you one of only two Scullys in attendance? If that’s not an inappropriate question?’

She glanced up at him and shrugged, ‘we’re catholic. Ahab and Mom weren’t...particularly welcoming of Dan. Neither was Bill. And I honestly don’t think any of the extended family even know about Charlie’s preferences.’ She swirled her drink in her glass, studying it as if it had all the answers to the universe in its depths, ‘I guess I wasn’t overly welcoming and accepting either, initially.’

‘What happened?’

‘He lived down the street from us, and he was in my year at school, though he’s closer in age to Charlie. We were in a couple of classes together, and we were all part of this big friend group. He was really good at algebra, and I...may or may not have had a thing for him.’

‘I think I see where this is going.’

‘Yeah. There was this tree, at the park we used to all hang out at, and one night I caught them kissing behind it. I think we all kind of...knew Charlie was gay, we just didn’t talk about it, as if he wouldn’t be if we just pretended hard enough that he wasn’t. It broke my heart; if at sixteen you can know what heartbreak is.’

‘I think you can.’

‘Well, I stopped eating, stopped talking to anyone. This boy that I was oh so very much in love with was kissing my little brother, and so I decided to starve myself to death.’

‘Dana Katherine Scully, I never pegged you as the melodramatic sought.’

‘I was a teenager, I listened to a lot of Fleetwood Mac at the time, what do you expect.’

‘You clearly didn’t starve to death, so what happened.’

‘My mom sat me down, told me to tell her what happened. So I did. She told Ahab, there was a big fight, and Ahab kicked Charlie out.’

‘Shit.’

‘Yeah. Charlie and Dan ran off together that night. I didn’t think we’d ever hear from them again, but...Missy kept in contact with them. Missy...she wasn’t exactly 100% straight either. I remember we argued about that, once, when I was about nineteen. I told her...it doesn’t matter what I told her, it wasn’t something I’d care to repeat. She had every right never to speak to me again, and yet...she just hugged me,’ she backhanded a tear, sniffed, ‘I...I spent a lot of time parroting my parents’ beliefs. And she told me she didn’t like to see such hatred in me, that I would end up losing her like we lost Charlie.’

‘You didn’t lose her, though.’

‘No. It took a long time, and a lot more of her explaining why hating someone for being in love was stupid than I care to admit, but, I came to understand it and accept it. Maybe even love her for it. Charlie called me when I was at the Academy, said he wanted to apologise for making out with the guy I liked. I think Missy told him I’d...’ she paused, looked up at him shyly, ‘I’d been going through some things.’

‘Things?’

‘I- I sort of had a...thing, with this girl who was also at the Academy. It didn’t last long, but it didn’t end well, and, well, I...I guess it ended badly because of a lot of internalised stuff I had going on, and I think Missy knew Charlie would understand the self-loathing a bit more than she did.’

‘I didn’t know-‘

‘Nobody but Charlie and Dan do, these days. Missy did, of course, but-‘

‘I won’t tell anyone, I-‘

‘I never thought you would,’ she shook her head, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. ‘Anyway, I realised you have to start building your own faith – you can’t always rely on God to have all the answers: I think I’m still learning that.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he cast his gaze down to the floor after watching her face so intently as she retold the story.

‘What for?’

‘I thought your family was kind of perfect. I mean, I guess your mom kinda manages to pull this whole image together of the perfect catholic family, y’know, with the doctor daughter and the navy son, the way she always seems to be there for you. And you’ve always seemed like you really love your parents.’

‘I do,’ she shrugged, ‘and Mom, she’s...she’s old fashioned. I think she doesn’t really mind what we get up to in our personal lives so long as we don’t, y’know, make a big deal out of it and flaunt it, I guess. And...I think she’s lost too much to care much more, anyway. Charlie loves mom, in the abstract, too. If Bill weren’t around, we could probably talk to her about it, but Bill-‘

‘Not so keen on “love is love”?’

‘Not really. I love him, in that grudging, sibling way, but I can’t imagine ever wanting to voluntarily spend time with him without feeling any sense of obligation, and I think the same is true for him.’

‘”All unhappy families,” and so on,’ Mulder sighed, downing the last dregs of his Cosmo.

‘Tolstoy had a point,’ she said, slipping from her seat and reaching for his now empty Nick and Nora, ‘get you another?’

‘Sure,’ he smiled, relinquishing the glass to her possession, ‘hey, Scully?’

‘Hmm?’

‘Have I told you how pretty you look today?’

She blushed, looked away with her bottom lip caught between her teeth, ‘perhaps I should just get you a water, Mulder.’

He chuckled, knowing full well he wasn’t drunk, and nodded, ‘perhaps.’

Tagging @today-in-fic