#drax is also a lot older and grew up with with a very 'fuck around and find out' attitude towards kids

[thedawningofthehour]

What's funny about Draxum and Splinter co-parenting is that they're both overprotective in completely opposite directions.

Drax is the ultimate crunchy mom, kids eat only nutritious home-cooked meals free of added salt and sugars and artificial dyes. Dessert is reserved for very special occasions, and there's no junk food or soda allowed in his house. Meanwhile Splinter watches them eat stale cheerios off the floor and is like "meh, the dirt gives them extra minerals."

Draxum looks over the ingredients list of every product in his house obsessively. He uses candles everywhere but will freak out if you buy one from Bath & Body Works because those mass-produced ones have so many carcinogens. He forbids air fresheners and has some weird-ass laundry routine to keep toxic detergents away from his boys. Splinter complies with these rules by not washing their clothes.

On the flip side, Draxum watches these boys suplex each other into the ground every day and barely blinks. Leo is playing with fire and Mikey is finding the highest place he can jump off without breaking his knees. Donnie is building pipe bombs in the lab. It's fine, he says. He built them to be sturdy, they might get banged up and break a bone or two, but that's childhood. That's how they learn.

He 'teaches' them to swim by chucking them in the pool and letting them figure it out. When Splinter freaks out Draxum says he's watching them, that he'd intervene if they started drowning. Mikey started drowning and he got him out, see? He's all wet and grumpy, but the others are just vibing.

Splinter cites how they come running to him in tears whenever their rough-housing ends in scrapes and bruises, holding out the injured body part for Daddy to kiss and fuss over them. Draxum remarks that they only do this with him; they're magically fine with it when the same thing happens on Draxum's watch.

[He would never let them get actually hurt, he's like this because Yokai babies are tougher than human ones and he KNOWS they're resilient and heal fast. Raph puts a brother through the wall and Leo is running around giggling asking him to do it again. Mikey loves it when Bella throws him like a fucking shot put ball. He'd obviously adjust his expectations for Donnie, who is tough but still more fragile than his brothers, and even moreso after he takes Donnie out of training to put him to better use in the lab. And if one of them ever was seriously hurt or got sick, he'd 100% be at the side the entire time, doing everything he can to make it better and comfort them]

[quxntumvandyne]

MCU characters as high schoolers

this is a long one my friends but worth itttt

tony stark: the awkward smart kid who’s parents are rich but refuses to look rich (initially), SUPER cocky, president of the computer science club, loves nothing more than to make witty jokes and piss of teachers, neighbors (maybe more) with pepper potts, friends w/ clint, rhodey and bruce

steve rogers: classic American boy, best freshman to senior year change, understands no pop culture references ever, acts way older than he is and captain of the baseball team, best friends with bucky, sam, thor and t’challa

thor odinson: MOST SPIRITED, aggravating twin brother, LGBT icon, anyone in their right mind is attracted to him, has this strange obsession with rabbits, puts everyone before himself, single as a pringle, friends w/ rocket, groot, steve, strange, quill and drax (popular man)

bruce banner: the nerdiest nerd their ever was, hot in the dad way, shorty, has serious anger issues, talks to his inventions/computers more than people, quiet but super loud and full of fun ideas around close friends, friends w/ tony, clint and vision (sorta dating natasha; it’s complicated)

clint barton: nobody knows much about him, keeps to himself, always has his headphones in everywhere he goes, way too good at archery and golf, was in the same foster home growing up as natasha, doesn't own any other color than black, friends w/ tony, bruce, natasha, vision and t’challa

natasha romanoff: lesbian icon, everyone assumes she’s “one of the guys” but really holds her own in a special way, basically clint’s sister from another mister, has a complicated relationship with bruce banner, everyone is terrified of her but she’s really just a cinnamon roll at heart, besties with wanda, okoye, & steve, sam and shuri

james “rhodey” rhodes: track and field KING, a true cinnamon roll, wants to go into the military, loves nothing more than to do stupid shit with and make fun of tony “stank”, goody two shoes at school, friends w/ tony (obvi), sam, and pepper, and nebula

james “bucky” barnes: GAY ICON, been friends with steve rogers since birth but they’re together as fuck, an expert in history and math, lost his left arm in a car accident as a young boy, is closed off unless he’s with friends which are sam, rocket & t’challa and shuri

sam wilson: steve’s right-hand man, puts his whole heart into anything and everything, always has his friends backs, can be found with his friends or at home with his mama and younger siblings and friends with bucky, steve & natasha

loki odinson:  troublemaker (but not in a funny way), loves to make a scene with everyone watching, basically needs all attention at all times. total asexual, the oddball of the odinson family, and secretly an amazing piano player; frienemies with strange and scott lang

stephen strange: cocky smart boy who recently was in a bad accident, which put his life on the line; he came back still cocky, but more grateful for life, dreams of being a doctor, not much of a flirter but wouldn’t mind being in a relationship, “friends” with loki, tony and thor

peter quill: the boy who dresses like he lives in the ’80s, lives with his crazy uncle, acts tough but cares a lot about others, plays football and baseball and favorite subject is lunch, friends with drax, rocket, groot, thor and m’baku

gamora: the mysterious bad girl of the class, just transferred to shield high with her stepsister nebula, nobody messes with her, has good instincts and amazing at a plethora of sports, friends with nat, okoye, wanda and nebula

drax: the innocent big teddy bear how can’t always control what comes out of his mouth but usually means well, is kinda like a puppy and friends with quill, rocket, groot, and thor

nebula: the freakishly intense smartmouth who always sits at the back of the classroom and has a fake eye (nobody knows why) doesn't have many friends other than rhodey, rocket and kinda gamora? they’re working on it

rocket: really short guy (kinda hairy but won’t talk about it) who’s friends with an enormous basketball player, always tinkering in class and makes gadgets that he calls bombs but nobody knows if he is serious, friends with quill, drax, groot, nebula and thor

groot: a monumental dork of a human, everyone loves him, super sweet and always willing to help people but can be vicious when it comes to sports or anything competitive, will always stand up for the little guy and is friends with rocket, thor, quill, and drax

t’challa: school president of shield high and captain of the debate team, very serious guy but can get down at parties, grew up with okoye, has a younger sister who is a freshman genius, plays on the football team and his father is mayor of the city, friends with okoye, m’baku, steve and clint

okoye: best friends with t’challa, is very big into sports and wants to go to the olympics, loves coffee, can be very serious but loves to make fun of t’challa every chance she gets and is friends with t’challa, shuri, m’baku, wanda, natasha and gamora

shuri: genius kid!!! and the queen of meme referencing, she is quite the goofball and loves to mess with her big brother, has recently become close with bucky and loves children, is friends with bucky, okoye, m’baku, wanda and natasha

m’baku: grew up not getting along with t’challa but became best friends through okoye, is the life of the party and is a vegetarian, loves to honor his ancestors and feels very close with his family, friends with okoye, t’challa, shuri and quill

wanda maximoff: new girl from a small country in europe who’s twin brother died in an accident, quiet but fiesty and has quite the sense of humor, very passionate about women’s rights and equality and besties with wanda, natasha, shuri, okoye, gamora and vision

vision: british boy who is always the voice of reason in the group and can make a mean paprikash, just generally liked by everyone and is very innocent but very knowledgable, friends with wanda and clint barton

scott lang: a huge dork who always gets himself into trouble whether he’s trying or not, his best friend luis and him are always attached at the hip and finds himself connecting with wildlife and nature more than with people sometimes but is always the life of the party

pepper potts: sweet little angel who really keeps to herself but finds herself falling for the big hotshot of the school and he falls for her right back, she’s secretly a force to be reckoned with and is really allergic to strawberries

carol danvers: can come off as really serious but can also be a goofball, wants to go into the air force after high school and loves 90′s clothes and music, her best friend monica and her do everything together and has a huge crush on valkyrie 

(and i didn’t include peter parker because he’s already in high school? and the rest are adults? don’t come for me) btw somebody draw this for me i would cryyyy and i’ve been working on this for months in my drafts because i keeping forgetting its here but i finished!!!!!!!!!!

[sunflowersupremes]

Whistle (White You Work)

Summary: Everything would be fine except that everything and everyone is out to get him. (Everyone, of course, being Rocket and everything being anything that makes a whistling sound).

Yondu Week Day One: Red, Music, Ability, Dream, Heart

Series: PTSD Headcanons

Characters: Peter Quill, Yondu Udonta, Gamora (Marvel), Mantis (Marvel), Drax the Destroyer, Groot (Marvel), Rocket Raccoon

Read on AO3

The first time, it was an accident. Rocket was messing with the cookstove and the space equivalent of a teapot - not that he was making food with it, he had said something about nitroglycerin - when it let out an ear-piercing whistle.

Peter had been buried in a part of the Milano’s wiring, attempting to extract a tiny Groot who had shimmed inside and fallen out of reach. When he heard the sharp noise he shouted and banged his head on the pipes above him, extracting himself from the wall less than gracefully. “I didn’t do anything!” he yelped out of pure habit wheeling around and expecting to see the red gleam of a Yaka arrow and a sneering blue face. Instead, the face that met his was green and concerned.

Gamora was standing at the table, her eyes wide as she watched him curse and rub his head, angry at himself for having let Yondu get to him. “Peter are you-”

“Fine!” he snapped.

“I am Groot?” the miniature houseplant he had been attempting to rescue had freed himself - because of course, why couldn’t he get himself out? Peter wanted to smack himself. Don’t nobody need your help boyo, Yondu reminded him - and was looking up at him with huge eyes.

“I’m fine buddy,” he muttered, scooping up the plant and placing him on his shoulder. Groot grabbed onto his hair and settled into his collar happily.

Sen-ti-ment, eh Petey? Sniggered a voice in his head. “Shut up!” Peter hissed. On his shoulder, Groot tugged worriedly at his hair.

“Peter?” Gamora asked, folding her arms across her chest. Telling imaginary people to shut up was apparently NOT helping his attempts to convince his new team that he was Perfectly Sane And Very Capable of Leadership Thank You Very Much. She looked far too worried - did daughters of Thanos know how to pity? - although, if there were about to have a heart to heart about their Unspoken Thing Peter was not planning on stopping her.

Any hope of their Unspoken Thing becoming a Spoken Thing was shattered as Rocket burst into the room, screaming, “Don’t touch that! It might explode!” At that exact moment, the kettle chose to, well, explode.

The second time was less of an accident. Either Gamora had told Rocket about his freak out over the whistling kettle (unlikely) or Rocket had spied on them with the Milano’s security system (more likely) or Groot had innocently babbled about it (most likely). Peter tried not to be angry with the tree, it wasn’t his fault Rocket took things too far.

The whistle had shocked him out of his trance, staring at a bobble he had almost pocketed - although there was no reason to horde shinies so he could bribe Yondu next time he ticked him off (no amount of trinkets would fix the Infinity Stone mess) - but habits were habits and it really was a cute bug-like creature. He nearly knocked over the table in his haste to turn around, automatically fearing the worst and assuming that Yondu had somehow found them and was about to run him through.

Capt’n’s gotta teach his men a lesson.

He didn’t see the arrow, although that didn’t mean it wasn’t there, and Peter was just about to reach for his communicator to tell his crew to run like hell and don’t look back when he heard laughter.

“Did you see his face?” Across the market, under a tree, Rocket slapped his knee and guffawed. Not a fake laugh like what he had done onboard the Elector when presented with 12% of a plan, but an honest to goodness This Shit Was Too Good laugh.

Peter wished he had he own arrow to run him through with.

Drax was also laughing, no doubt this was a part of Rocket’s teach him what metaphors are before he accidentally offends someone plan. Gamora and Groot for their parts looked worried and confused, respectably. He stormed toward his crew, intent on shouting Rocket’s ugly grin off his stupid furry face.

“Quill that was priceless!” he yowled. “Do it again!” Rocket pursed his lips to whistle again, but Peter was already on him, kicking him over and pinning him with his foot.

“That wasn’t funny you stupid Raccoon!” he yelled.

“I’m not a Racoon!”

“I thought I was gonna die!” Peter increased the weight he was putting on Rocket’s chest, not caring how much it hurt.

Gamora, who had apparently been content to let Peter and Rocket shout it out for once, lunged forward. “Peter you’re hurting him!”

“I thought Yondu had found us and was gonna run me through with his arrow!” Passerbys were starting to stop and watch the spectacle: an angry human pinning a rodent with a well-known assassin wrapping her arms around his leg while Mr. Clean watched and a plant cried. Shit, this was not his plan.

“Peter stop!” Gamora shouted.

“And you know what I was gonna do? I was gonna tell your worthless mug to run, you Creepy Little Beast!”

“I am not a Beast!” With that Rocket managed to free himself, either from pure spite or Gamora’s incessant tugging, either way, he was one second short of eating Peter’s face off when a loud sob cut him off.

“I-I a-am Grooooot!”

The Guardians ceased their fight, turning to see Drax attempting to calm the smallest - and youngest - of their number and all arguments were forgotten as he blubbered on about not wanting his friends to kill each other.

“I wasn’t gonna kill him,” Rocket grumbled, “just gonna eat him a bit.”

“Dude!”

“Rocket!” Gamora looked ready to murder them both.

When a whistle jerked him out of his sleep, Peter was fairly certain it wasn't Yondu.

If the pirate had managed to board the Milano, sneak past or incapacitate the Guardians, and find Peter then maybe he deserved to kill him.

"It was Yondu, wasn't it?"

"What?" Peter was too groggy to understand what was happening, struggling to sit up and look his friend in the face. Of course, sitting up would have been much easier if Gamora wasn't practically sitting on him, her eyes sharp and certain.

"I have been watching you Quill, and it has become increasingly clear that you are uncomfortable around objects that emit a frequency greater than-"

He cut her off, not wanting to hear that she had analyzed the decibel rating of Yondu's Yaka arrow. "He's gonna come back Gamora. I tricked him out of the biggest hit he's ever seen."

Gamora finally crawled off Peter, allowing him to sit up and attempt to process his thoughts. "You saved millions of people."

He snorted. The day Yondu cared about someone other than himself Peter would eat his walkman. "He's a pirate, Gamora. He doesn't save people, he kidnaps them." He had once accused Yondu of enslaving him, but Yondu had made the difference quite clear by dragging the then 12-year-old to a slave auction and threatening to leave him. “He’s gonna be pissed and if I ever see him again-”

“I will end him.” She sounded so confident as if it truly were that simple.

“I-” he probably should thank her for offering to defend him. If she - or anyone - had made the offer to murder Yondu for him when he was younger he would have taken them up on it in a heartbeat. He had even dreamed of killing Yondu himself at times. But as he grew older he had become less certain that was what he wanted, hence why he had run away instead of murdering Yondu. “I guess.”

“You care for him.” It wasn’t a question, more of an accusation. When Peter didn't immediately respond she pressed, “Why? He hurt you.”

“He-” Peter waved his hand as if meaningless gestures could explain how he was feeling. “He kept me alive.”  

“He threatened to eat you and “kicked the crap” out of you.” She narrowed her eyes. “He was going to kill you in front of me.”

Peter groaned. He was not awake enough for this conversation. ���But he wasn’t looking at me.”

“I was not aware that if you do not look at your victims they don’t die.”

“He always looks at people when he’s killing them, especially crew. He couldn’t look at me because-” he waved his arms again. “He had to make a point.” He didn’t want to kill me. It was a thought he rarely let himself think because admitting that Yondu never seemed particularly inclined to follow through on his threats opened up a lot more questions.

Gamora seemed to understand what he wasn't saying. “You care for him.”

Peter launched to his feet, voice rising in frustration. “I don’t know!” His voice softened, dropping to a whisper. "Maybe - yes."

She didn’t question him after that, and no one dared to whistle around him.

The last time he heard the whistle his heart nearly did stop, not out of terror, but out of relief.

The ship was exploding around them and Peter hadn’t had time to make sure any of his team had gotten out alive. When the whistle sounded above him he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and looked up, seeing Yondu floating above him. “You look like Mary Poppins!” he teased.

Peter was sure he had mentioned Mary Poppins to Yondu before, each time the alien had just brushed it off as stupid Terran nonsense. But to his surprise - although, nothing could be more surprising than Yondu showing up to rescue him (except maybe the confession that the cannibalism was a joke) - Yondu looked thoughtful and then called, “Is he cool?”

He? Peter almost pointed out the hilarious part of the joke, that he was comparing Yondu (who was anything but ladylike) to one of the most famous women in history. Fuck it. Family bonding only happens once. “Hell yeah, he’s cool.”

“I’m Mary Poppins ya’ll!” Peter laughed and allowed himself to look forward to a future where he could poke fun at Yondu without thinking he was going to be maimed, tortured, eaten or any mix of the three.

There wasn’t a next time. Sound doesn’t travel in space and frozen lips cannot whistle.

Author’s Note:

If you enjoyed this and want to read more of my Guardians of the Galaxy PTSD headcanons (I would say Peter Quill PTSD Headcanons, but there is a Stakar and Yondu fic in the works) then subscribe to the PTSD Headcanons Series. Subscribing to this story won't do you any good because I prefer to keep my one-shots separated so I can organize them better.

I do take prompt requests! Just dump it in a comment!

** "kicked the crap out of me" is technically something Peter says in Volume 2, but I figure he's probably said similar before, which is why I let Gamora quote it.

** Yes Yondu did use his arrow after the Mary Poppins scene, but I'm going on the assumption that Peter might not have heard it clearly.