#draconic jester au

[acidicbarkbeast]

and what if the lowly court jester found a disgraced dragon in the harrington castle's dungeons? what then? fall in love?

edit; this has a minific going on now :]

[journey-to-the-attic]

Oh please do elaborate what crimes Mesphisto got up to in the Royal court.

so glad you asked! now first, as always when establishing mephisto's crimes in other universes, i must first establish sonno's crimes

okay so a while back sam (@/whensam, pioneer of the dragon au) proposed that diavolo is half dragon on sonno's side, so i was thinking about that. here's my idea: sonno is an enlightened dragon - his words - i.e. one who has taken human form. now, this is going to start sounding a little catholic, BUT

sonno believes that dragonkind is inherently sinful and that humankind is inherently weak, and thus the ideal society must be place them in the protection of the enlightened - so the unenligthened, who are threats to life, must be hunted down. which is why there's a precedent for the hunting of dragons; in a way, it's out of a very twisted love for humanity

barbatos and mephisto are also enlightened dragons, BUT while barbatos did that on his own - being the dragon ouroboros, hence him being the only one aware of the world's time loop - mephisto was enlightened by sonno, and thus initially follows his beliefs devoutly

mephisto was sonno's preferred instrument of punishment; being imperfect, since he was unable to achieve this humanhood on his own, he still has access to certain aspects of draconic power. hence, his job is to identify and 'eat' those who rebel

sometimes this involves pursuit, sometimes espionage, and sometimes he just poisons em in the middle of a banquet. he's an executioner in all but name, though the unwary in the court mostly think of him as some kind of jester

when he does defect, at first he does it very badly and gets the absolute stuffing beat out of him - he manages to escape and drag himself a good few miles, and then promptly gets mugged, hence why the gang finds him half-dead in a ditch somewhere

i don't think he'd tell any of them what he really is until near the very end of his journey, and yknow it feels like the natural end to his story here would be to die for the greater good (i.e. diavolo's cause) but. let's not think too hard about that for now. i need to define diavolo's cause properly first

[demenior]

A little 'a life of little things' (aka the Fealty au) update for wip Wednesday:

Her hands cup his face— at this angle she’s standing behind him— and she shapes his bubble beard with soft touches.

“You’d be so much more handsome with a beard,” she says.

“Like Fjord?”

“Fjord likes his beard.”

“And so do you.”

“Well, duh. I love him.”

“Would you love him with a mustache?”

She shoves his head under the water.

Eadwulf surfaces with a laugh. He’s wiping water and bubbles out of his eyes when something drops on his head. He reaches up to touch, but Jester knocks his hand away, and her fingers start massaging through his hair.

Eadwulf jerks his head away. Water sloshes over the edge of the tub.

“What are you doing?”

Her eyes are wide, “washing your hair.”

“I’m not a child,” he snaps.

Is this another of Fjord and Jester’s stupid traps? Forcing him to make decisions when he’s meant to follow orders, praising him for every little thing he does like he’s an idiot who can’t see that it’s all hollow. And now they think he can’t even take care of himself?

“I’m just being nice!”

The scented oils, the bubbles, the pampering— there’s no way Jester would treat Fjord like this. Eadwulf has the sudden vision of Jester’s weasel being doused in perfumes and fawned over like a show dog. Like a doll to play with.

Heat rises up through his face, separate from the heat of the bathwater.

“I can do it myself.”

Jester rolls her eyes, “of course you can— but this is like— it’s a spa. You’re supposed to let someone else wash your hair.”

Eadwulf grabs the edge of the tub to stand up. Jester races around to push him back in.

“Stop being so grumpy! What’s the big deal?”

Eadwulf grinds his teeth together rather than say words he’ll regret.

“Can’t I do something nice for you?”

“You treat Fjord like this?” Eadwulf spits out.

Jester looks at him like he’d spoken in Draconic, “obviously. Why else do you think I set up the bath?”

“And he lets you bathe him?”

“Wash his hair? Yeah. Is that— do they do stuff different in the Empire?”

“You wash a childs hair. Because they can’t do it themselves.”

“Oh. This is— I mean, you could do it yourself. I just wanted to do something nice for you. I love it when Fjord or Mama would wash my hair. It feels so nice, you know?”

Eadwulf hasn’t been a child for a long, long time. He stays silent.

“I wasn’t trying to make you mad,” Jester assures him, and she crouches down so they’re eye-to-eye, “you can wash your own hair. But, I’d like to do that for you. If that’s okay?”

With his glyph chant Eadwulf could overpower her and be out the door before she could stop him. And what good would that do him?

She insists it’s not a humiliation. He’s endured worse.

Eadwulf sinks back into the bathwater, and rests his head on the edge for her. Jester dashes back into position, and uses her hands to tilt his head back to kiss him on the nose.

“You have such nice hair,” she says immediately, “and it’s getting so long too. I never knew you had curls! They’re so cute. I have some hair oils for curls. If you started using them I think your hair would be less frizzy.”

[foxqueen-katarian]

How do the nein react to finding out about damger noodle!caleb? Are there other hidden dragons in this au?

I don’t know yet how most of the Nein react, for sure Jester thinks he’s just the cutest thing ever and oh my gosh do they have to try and turn him back into human Caleb right away?

Beau is concerned when the go to’s (Greater Restoration, Remove Curse) don’t work to change him back, and since Caleb isn’t exactly capable of human speech currently they can’t exactly ask him what happened.

As for other hidden dragons I think Astrid and Eodwulf, just given their history with Caleb in canon I think they make the most sense. Given that both Astrid and Wulf are canonically older than Caleb they were likely earlier attempts at transmuting one species of dragon to another. Astrid is a Green/Cooper and Eodwulf is Black/Silver, neither of them is aware of their draconic ancestry and lean more towards their chromatic natures than their metallic ones. Also Yussa who is just a Gold dragon because until Matt says otherwise you can’t convince me this isn’t canon.

[bean-and-jester]

BUT HOW!?

(AU where Prince Peasley is a werewolf/weredragon)

"Come on, please?..." Dimentio rolls his eyes, "I honestly don't believe that you would turn into a giant reptile of all things... After all, you're perfect in every way like a porcelain doll made with precise care~" Dimentio doesn't know that Peasley asked his mother Cackletta to mask his draconic flaws with magic. He actually has horns and a tail, why would Dim love him that way?... "Come on~" Dimentio gets in bed and holds out his arms to cuddle with his short king. Peasley reluctantly gets in bed and prays to Grambi that something comes up and one of them have to leave. Dimentio immediately falls asleep as soon as he gets a hold of Peasley. "Let's just hope he sleeps through this...." With that Peasley turns into a large, dragon like creature and yawns. He drifts off, but it's not over.

Dimentio wakes up from another one if his nightmares, only to be greeted by a large dragon in place of his beloved. He tries to wake up from what he thinks it's another dream, it's real. "Pe-Peasley?..." He moves the dragon, thinking maybe Pea is under him. Peasley starts waking up, confused on the situation at first. "Wait.....", Dimentio looks at Peasley again and jumps to the worst possible conclusion for the situation, "YOU BASTARD!" He shoves Peasley out of their bed and gets out himself. "I don't know how you got in here or how I never woke up.... BUT NO ONE HURTS MY SWEET PEA! LET ALONE KILL HIM!" Peasley stumbles onto his paws.

"No." Dimentio glares, "No? NO!? YOU THINK YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO KILL MY BOYFRIEND?!" Peasley speaks up once more, "No, am Pea." "You can't be Peasley.... Peasley isn't a FREAKING DRAGON!" Peasley simply approaches Dim and nuzzles him, purring. "Am Pea...." Dimentio puts his hand on Peasley's head. "Sweet pea..... I'm sorry.... I should have listened" Peasley wags his tail and gets back in bed, laying on his back. Dimentio looks at his dragon boyfriend and takes this chance. He crawls on top of Peasley, Peasley's much bigger and warmer than usual, though not as soft.

He puts his head where Peasley's heart would be. Peasley is already falling back asleep, causing his heartbeat to slow. Its actually kind of calming. Is this what Peasley feels when he lets him lay on his chest? Peasley's front legs hug Dimentio closer. "Sweet pea?" Dimentio gently pokes Peasley's cheek, he's out cold, snoring a bit too. Dimentio chuckles to himself as he does his best to cover the two. Of course, the blanket isn't needed since his boyfriend was big and warm enough. The combination of the overwhelming warmth, the purring, and his boyfriend's heartbeat pacified the jester and eventually put him to sleep.

[mattkenzie]

Critical Role: Season 2 Shipping

So I did this some time ago with the idea ‘if I was a nerdy ass voice actor’ who would I ship from the Mighty Nein?

BAle/BeauAle: (Sounds like bail so I have found it funny).

Starting from Episode 1: A Curious Beginning, Ale would easily mistake Beauregard as male (because of how she acts) and would keep mistaking her as such until episode .

At the beginning of Episode 26: , after Molly got killed by Lorenzo at the end of Episode 25, Beau talked about their last moments with Molly by playing a game during their watch and the loser has to answer a question of the winners choosing “What was the biggest lie they’ve ever told?” Ale’s then remembered for a brief moment the time he was in a group and he kept up this lie for a whole year (for those who’ve read my AU, Ale took the name of his little brother Nathan Flixotide). This made Ale feel really rotten about himself thinking that he left Tal’dori shittier than how he left it.

Cale/Aleb/Flixogast: I think I like the fusion of the surnames Flixotide and Widowgast better, Both of them are the intelligent ones in the group (but Caleb has the ‘book’ smarts where Ale in the other hand is the imaginative/creative)

Clayle: Ale may find it difficult to pronounce Caduceus’ name (as he may call him Calluses ‘cal-LOOSE-us’)

FjAle: (Sounds like fail and that doesn’t sound good!) Ale does find Fjord attractive and different from other Half-Orcs... he seems to be quite the gentleman and charming ‘maybe because of his southern accent’

JestAle/Alester: Early on Ale would find Jester pretty annoying but it is until episode 30 (we rescued Fjord, Jester and Yasha) This is when Ale starts to care about Jester a bit more, He never saw the signs that Jester is probably been a shut-in as a child (with no outside world experience) he now understands Jester’s child-like demeanor.

NottAle/Braveotide: Ale would be surprised to see a goblin in broad daylight (by that I mean being a part of civilisation and not feral).

MAle/MollAle: It’s difficult to say about the relationship between Mollymauk and Ale but I think he would be envious of Molly because for Molly being an entertainer and Ale being a city guard (both on opposite ends)

YashAle:

Guests Stars

ShakastAle:

CaliAle/AleAna: For first impressions, Ale he finds Caliana cute (but less annoying than Jester) but tries his best to see past the black draconic arm and one half of her face. When she asked for help from the Mighty Nein, Ale wanted to help her find her bowl. All went well until Nott and Caleb got the bowl of Tiamat... refusing to stand with Caleb, Ale stood with Caliana (wanting right so many wrongs) It was like seeing his past... with Caliana’s naivety and Caleb’s ambition (both of them got him into a world of trouble). Beau took the bowl of Caleb.

Aleg: Ale would find Keg

NelAle: Ale only sees Ms Nela as a maternal figure (very motherly). Because Ale’s mother (Sarah) died when he was 8 years old. The closest thing would be at least getting a hug from her (Like how Cremila gave Link that hug in Majora’s Mask)

TwigAle: For Twiggy being a guest character, she is very childlike and ‘kid characters’ are a ticket for trouble. “No Jester we can’t keep Twiggy, we have a Kiri” Twiggy is very bubbly which is quite the opposite of his adoptive mother. Deeper relationship wise Ale would feel weird about dating gnomes (because of them looking very childlike, Ale would rather fuck a Tiefling... meta wise human and gnome relationships it would gross me out too... Come on! I get nightmares about if a male Goliath and a female Gnome have a baby... the poor Gnome would explode!) Twiggy is just too young... Nope!

[dancerwrites]

same song, different verse

Written for: Critical Role Relationship Week, Day 3

Characters: Calianna & Allura

Words: 2.2k

ao3

In which retired adventurers pass on what they know to burgeoning adventurers, and Kima has a chance to display her cooking skills.

Also, quick note: I will be coming back to this “AU” of sorts for Friday’s fic with Pike and Cali, which I’m really excited about! Keep an eye out for it!

“You must be Calianna,” said the blonde woman who opened the door to the tower, her lightly wrinkled face crinkling in a smile. “A pleasure.”

Cali peeked out from under her hood and nodded, conjuring up what she hoped amounted to a friendly smile after so many harsh nights on the road. Tal’dorei was safer than Wildemount, than the Empire, but she still wasn’t comfortable showing her face in the streets. The Scaled Tyrant’s followers were everywhere, she was sure, and while she hadn’t run in with any of the Caustic Heart since arriving in Stillben, on the opposite coast of the continent, she wanted to tread lightly, just in case.

“Missus Vysoren,” she said politely, dipping into a slight curtsey, “Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice.”

“From your letter it sounded urgent,” Lady Vysoren said, stepping back. “Why don’t you come inside? My wife is putting the finishing touches on dinner – you’re just in time for some seared steak and potatoes, if that’s to your liking?”

The dragon inside Cali almost purred with excitement, and her stomach rumbled to echo it. “That really does sound lovely, thank you,” she said, walking over the threshold and looking around. “Oh,” she gasped, taking in the interior. “Your home is gorgeous!”

The outside of the tower had looked rather simple, if elegant, but the inside spoke to Lady Vysoren’s tastes, as well as her place on the Arcana Pansophical. The sitting room was spacious and decorated in deep blues, bronze, and silver – one couch looked out onto the rest of the Cloudtop District, though Cali was sure there had been stone there, not glass, from the outside. Several tapestries lined the wall – two of them picturesque mountain landscapes, the third a visage of the Platinum Dragon, wings outstretched and glimmering with metallic thread. A shelf of baubles and artistic pieces, also holding a fine tea set and some books, sat on one side of the room.

“Thank you very much,” Lady Vysoren said with a smile, looking around the sitting room. “My wife and I have had about twenty years to accumulate odds and ends. It’s a bit eclectic, I’m afraid, but every piece here had some sentimental value.”

“Eclectic is wonderful,” Cali said earnestly. “And I think it looks lovely.”

“You’re very kind to say so,” Lady Vysoren said with a smile and an incline of her head.

“Are you two coming upstairs or not?!” called a voice from above, making Cali start, eyes wide and hands up, ready to cast something if needed.

“Give us two minutes, Kima!” Lady Vysoren called back, shaking her head in amusement as there was a stony silence from above them.

“I’m going to eat your steak if you take too long,” the woman above them said after a moment.

“After telling me all afternoon how much work you’d put into it? I don’t think so,” Lady Vysoren scoffed, in a very un-ladylike manner.

“Shut up, Allie!”

Lady Vysoren laughed, shaking her head, and turned to Cali again. “We should probably go up and join her.”

“That sounds wise,” Cali agreed, feeling a little in awe at the casual banter despite the formality of their surroundings. It was much nicer than Wildmount, though, that was for sure.

Allura smiled again and headed up the stairs, Cali following the arcanist up the spiral stairs to the second floor.

The smell of freshly-cooked meat was strong as they entered the dining room and kitchen area, and Cali inhaled deeply, as if she could be sustained by the aroma alone. It had been ages since she had a homecooked meal, and she suddenly felt a wave of homesickness rush over her as she thought of Grim and Magda, whom she had left in Othe. The two dwarves had taken care of her for so long, but she’d finally needed to cut ties when the Caustic Heart had gotten a little too close for comfort, threatening her and her family with coded messages in Draconic. As much as she hated to leave them, she knew that her presence there had threatened them more than anything else. And they could still write, even if it was through Jester being a proxy for the letters.

“Calianna,” Lady Vysoren said, drawing her attention back to the present, “this is my wife, Lady Kima of-“

“Kima Vysoren,” came a brash and confident voice from behind Lady Vysoren. The taller woman stepped back to reveal a halfling, thickly built, with muscles bulging from beneath the rolled-up sleeves of her tunic, an apron splattered with grease tied around her waist. The shorter woman stuck out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s mine,” Cali said with a nod, bending at the waist to shake Kima’s hand. “Oh, you’re very strong.”

“You’d better believe it!” Kima exclaimed with a laugh, pulling back and flexing her muscles. “These arms have taken down dragons!”

“Oh,” Cali murmured, suddenly feeling rather wary. “That’s… that’s nice.” She fiddled with her hair, making sure it was still covering half of her face.

“Kima,” Lady Vysoren warned, shooting a look at the shorter woman. “You’re not thinking.”

“I just- ohhh,” Kima said, cheeks darkening slightly. “Shit. My apologies, Calianna – I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“We really are friends here,” Allura chimed in, gesturing to Cali’s hood. “And feel free to get comfortable if you’d like.”

“Um, thank you,” Cali said, though she still felt a little wary of Kima. “I’m assuming the Cobalt Reserve told you my story when they sent on my request for information?”

“Only the broadest parts of your heritage,” Allura murmured. “And they mentioned it contributed to your desire to see any artifacts destroyed.”

“It’s a little more than that,” Cali admitted, hesitating for a moment before using her half-elven hand to slide back her hood, letting it fall around her shoulders. She looked anxiously from each woman’s face to the other’s, but neither of them look frightened, per say. Kima’s brow furrowed as she quirked her head, as if trying to solve a riddle, and Allura looked interested, and maybe a bit sad, but neither of them looked concerned to have someone with draconic features in their house.

“Are you half dragon?” Allura asked, taking a step forward, though she still kept a respectful distance.

“A tenth. Or something like that,” Cali said with a shrug. “I’m honestly not entirely sure, but I lived on the streets for most of my childhood, so I didn’t really have any parents to ask and see if they knew.”

“This sounds like the start to a conversation that needs some ale to be washed down,” Kima spoke up. “Should we continue this conversation over dinner?”

“I would like some food,” Cali agreed, looking over to the table where some steaks and a big bowl of mashed potatoes were set out next to a smaller bowl of greens. “Though I’ve heard that my story is difficult for some to stomach…”

“We can always stop and continue after we eat, if it gets to be too much,” Lady Vysoren suggested, and Cali nodded, feeling a bit better.

“I just don’t want to be the cause of a loss of appetite,” she said. “The food smells really good and I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Thank you, kindly!” Kima said, looking proud. “Made it all myself! Is there anything particular you’d like to drink?”

She walked over to a small cupboard and opened it, revealing an assortment of bottles. “We’ve got a whiskey, a couple nice bottles of wine we could crack open, or some ale, if that’s what you’d prefer…”

“I’ve heard that wine goes well with steak?” Cali offered. “Like, darker ones?”

“Reds?” Allura asked, chuckling. “Yes, I think we have a good one from Ank’harel in there somewhere.”

“The Sandkeg?” Kima asked, scandalized, and Allura scoffed.

“No, the one from J’mon, Kima. Gods, that’s not even wine!”

“Good! Though in my defense that was a long time ago we visited them.”

“I’m sorry?” Cali asked, confused.

“Never mind, dear,” Allura said, forehead in one hand. “It’s a… rather strong liquor, and not for the faint-hearted.”

“It almost sounds like a challenge when you say it like that,” Cali said with a laugh.

“Trust me,” Kima said, pulling out the bottle and working a corkscrew into the top. “It’s more than a challenge. And it fucking sucks.”

“Maybe we can try it another time,” Allura said, shaking her head with a grin. “In the meantime, shall we eat? And you can tell us a bit more about yourself.”

Cali nodded, though she was still curious as to what the two were talking about. Perhaps she could ask Jester when she next had the chance to write. Or maybe ask Jester to ask Nott. Nott knew a lot about liquor.

She went with Allura to the table and Kima came over a moment later, pouring them all drinks, though she looked almost comical trying to reach each of the glasses. Cali handed hers over to make it that much easier, and Kima gave her a wary look, but accepted the glass, filling it until Cali said to stop.

They began serving themselves and eating, and Cali couldn’t help gushing to Kima about her cooking. The halfing seemed very pleased at the praise, and Cali was glad to make her smile, and to make Missus Vysoren smile in turn.

But, in time, they started discussing Cali’s story, and the Caustic Heart, and while the tone wasn’t too depressing, it still wasn’t a happy topic of conversation.

“And that’s why I need your help – to find this dagger and destroy it,” Cali said, leaning onto the table, her clean plate pushed to the side. At some point she’d pulled her hair to the side, revealing the rest of her dragon side, but neither Missus Vysoren – well, Allura, as she’d asked to be called – nor Kima had so much as flinched, and it was wonderful to have found more people who were not so wary of her presence. “I was able to destroy the bowl with a group called the Mighty Nein, but I know that there’s a lot of artifacts of the Scaled Tyrant across Exandria, and I can’t let them fall into the wrong hands.”

“This is quite a task you’ve taken on for yourself,” Allura murmured.

“I told you, it’s my responsibility now,” Cali replied earnestly. “I did so many bad things for them and this is how I can make it right. I know I’m only one person, but I’ve found help so far, and if it helps me make amend for even some of the terrible things I’ve done…”

She trailed off as Kima and Allura shared a look. “You will help me, won’t you?”

“Yes,” Allura said, turning back to her. “And I’m glad the Cobalt Reserve sent you to me. The two of us, Kima and myself, have indeed come across many dark artifacts, destroying some and sending others to be stored in places of safety when there was no feasible way to get rid of them. I think we can get you more information about the dagger you’re looking for, though I still don’t feel comfortable sending you after it yourself.”

“I’ve already done so much though!” Cali protested. She had to follow through. She couldn’t just give up because somebody thought it was too hard. “And I’m already a lot stronger than the last time I confronted something like this, and even stronger still than when I worked with the Mighty Nein to destroy the bowl!”

“But there were ten of you on that adventure,” Allura said. “Surely-“

“Nine.”

“I’m sorry?”

“There were nine of us; eight in the Mighty Nein, as long as you count Kiri – she was the bird I told you about, very good at mimicking people – and me.”

“But… oh, never mind,” Allura said, shaking her head. “I suppose what I’m trying to say is that it’s dangerous to go alone. And you didn’t happen to bring any of these Mighty Nine with you, did you?”

“They’re still in the Empire, as far as I know,” Cali said with a shrug. “Or on Wildmount, at the very least.”

“How about this,” Allura said, steepling her fingers together in front of her. “Kima and I reach out to our contacts over the next couple of days, and we help you figure out where this dagger is most likely to be. After that, we can potentially ask some of our friends for help. They used to be adventurers, and might even have some others they know who could give you some assistance. Sound like a good plan?”

“It’s better than me trying to comb through all of Tal’dorei and beyond myself,” Cali admitted. “I’d be very thankful for your help, though I don’t want to be a bother…”

“It’s good to dip our toes back into the wide world,” Allura said, smiling, almost looking relieved. “Don’t you worry – we’re happy to give you what help we can. We can reach out tonight and have an answer within a day – one of the benefits of higher-level magics.”

“I’m very glad to hear you’ll help!” Cali said, letting out a sigh of relief. “Honestly, your assistance takes some of the weight off my shoulders already. Though, I do have one more thing I’d like to ask, since I’ll be spending a night in the city, at the very least.”

“And what’s that?”

“Does Emon have a good donut shop? I promised a friend I’d let her know what sort of bear claws they served on the west coast.”

[acidicbarkbeast]

part0, part1, part2 (coming soon)

medieval fantasy steddie au warnings: none

"It's cruel, isn't it?"

Three children crowded around a gilded display case, newly added to the lavish scenery of the grand hall. They only murmured amongst themselves, but their voices carried loudly in the quiet of the tall, stone walls.

"What's so cruel?" The squire asked sarcastically, "They're dangerous beasts that regularly terrorize people. This is like mounting a set of antlers, or splaying a bear skin rug."

Down the way, a young man turned his head to the group of boys, interest piqued by the subject of the arguing. Shaggy, black strands slipped from the tight material of his colorful hood, and the ears of his costume bounced with his steps.

The one in defense of these 'dangerous beasts' gave the other a pointed look, "That's very generalized of you, Lucas." He refuted, "You know, dragons are intelligent and, most importantly, sentient creatures. They're fully capable of being either good or bad."

"Still." Lucas rolled his eyes, "Who's to say this didn't come from one that scorched a village to the earth? Or slaughtered an entire flock of sheep? Or—"

Eddie was close enough now to recognize the one making wild gestures as Dustin Henderson, the son of the royal's head chef. They had yet to notice him approaching, and continued in not-so-hushed tones.

"Alright, alright! I understand your point." Dustin acquiesced, looking beseechingly at the last boy of the trio who had yet to make his opinion known, "Mike?"

He shook his head, raising his hands and taking a step back, "Don't look at me. I'm not convinced this is even real."

"Of course!" Dustin exclaimed mockingly, "The King and Queen simply fabricated this piece for mere decoration. Say, it is so excellently crafted, I could almost mistake it for having come from the living thing!"

Mike's face screwed, "Would it be so difficult to keep your voice down when making such statements about the royals? You're lucky I know enough not to record the things we say behind closed doors."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you." Dustin said, Lucas scoffing from the side of the pair, "You and your big mouth have said the worst of us three by far—!"

"Gentlemen! Gentlemen." Eddie finally intervened, the fabric tails of his sleeves almost flapping as he waved his arms, "What is all this ruckus about? You're going to wake the castle with all this noise."

"Sorry, Eddie." Dustin apologized offhandedly, though not completely ingenuine, "But this is a topic I just so happen to be very passionate about."

Nonplussed, Mike shrugged his shoulders, "What does it matter what stance we take? This is clearly some form of art. It was probably commissioned from outside of the kingdom."

The object in question was about the size of his hand, scaled in swampy shades of green. It was the spaded end of a serpent's tail, but much larger. Truly, this does belong to a dragon, or more fittingly, did belong. Regardless of the validity of Mike's assessment, this piece of limb had been long severed from its owner.

"But why then commission the tail?" Dustin asked, and it did make Eddie wonder, "Why not the whole head? The massive horns? A set of sharp teeth? Why not display the clawed hands or, or strip the scales from the body and adorn them on armor?"

"All off this to say, the tail is convenient!" Dustin went on, "If you had the choice to display anything of a buck, would it be its rear end?"

Mike eyed him critically, and some distant memory was pulled from the recesses of Eddie's mind. He'd forgotten this boy was an appointed scribe of the castle, "What do you mean by that; convenient?"

"Who cares!" Lucas suddenly shouted, "This is just another show of the King's wealth. It shouldn't be our problem where it came from." He backed away then, straightening his garbs and adjusting his belt, "I have work to attend to, see you guys later."

"I've also things to do. Dustin. Eddie." Mike gave a single, curt wave goodbye, and left down the opposite direction.

Dustin remained silent, obviously still a bit irked. That wouldn't do.

"You know some about dragons?" Eddie inquired, and while it was more a ploy to drag the child from his foul mood, he truthfully was interested in the topic.

As expected, Dustin's eyes practically grew twofold, "I do! I've read every book I could find from both the town and castle libraries. Many of the accounts had their biases, but I did manage to find some genuinely objective observations." He grinned, "Did you know that dragons like to play? I don't mean toying with their food like cats might a mouse. Several have been spotted performing tricks in the air, all completely at their leisure."

It wasn't so far that Eddie couldn't imagine such a thing, perhaps akin to a dog chasing its own tail in circles. Just mindless fun.

Still, Lucas' words rang in his head. These giant reptiles were rowdy creatures, often causing mayhem and being general nuisances. The kingdom of Lenora had never suffered from any notable dragon attacks, but news from neighboring dominions, and their neighbors further, got around.

Honestly, he could not see the Harringtons ever having the will nor might to slay a dragon, and surely, with Lucas a squire, he would have heard of knight from this quarter ending such a beast? Therefore, the only logical assumption to make was that it was either purchased from elsewhere, or a fraud.

"They're misunderstood." Dustin pressed, "They're more like us than you probably think. I mean—" He stopped, and shook his head, "They're like any animal or person. They feel pain... They can be sad, lonely, just like they can have friends and be happy."

"It is," Eddie stalled, "... Certainly, a relevant notion worth considering, what with all the dramatic talk across the realm." He could see that the boy was hardly satisfied with such a lackluster answer, "However! I am a man of practice. I see what I believe, and I believe what I see. There's never been any sightings in Lenora, and so, I am a neutral party."

Dustin placed his hands in his hips, "As much as that frustrates me," he sighed, sounding regretful to admit it, "I can hardly fault your methods."

"Say," Eddie joked, hating to leave the kid hanging on what was clearly a low note, "If the horny beasts really aren't so horned nor beastly, perhaps you can introduce me."

"Very funny, fool." Eyes were rolled good, despite Dustin's more resigned expression, "If only."

He bowed low, "My sincerest pleasure, sir Henderson."

Huffing at his antics, Dustin suddenly straightened up, "What time is it?" He asked, glancing at the fading orange streaming in from open shudders, "Sorry, Eddie. I have someplace to be. See you!"

He watched the younger hurry down the hall, then around a corner. Eddie wondered where he was off to with such urgency, after all, a Baker's apprentice only had so much work to do so late in the day.

Alone, he spared a final appraisal of the tail. Eddie hadn't noticed before, but the cut was smattered in a fine spray of blood, as if not even cleaned after slaughter.

He couldn't help his slight shiver, always having been a bit on the squeamish side. That was why he'd taken so readily to a life of comedy instead of war.

Mindlessly, his lute was unslung from his shoulder. As he continued his peaceful meandering of the castle's impressive grounds, stray fingers toyed with the strings of his machine, playing some distant, mournful song.

[acidicbarkbeast]

part0, part1, part2, part3 (coming soon)

medieval fantasy steddie au warnings: none

Nasty, foul people the King and Queen of Lenora were, but they paid decently and Eddie had the rare pleasure of finding significant joy in what's become his life's work.

So, somewhat reluctantly, he swallowed any words he had in the face of their demands, sat on his cushioned stool, and plucked his lute. Where it was effortless, it was only what he was asked: slow, long, melodious sounds, more ambiance than a show.

He guessed then, much like the ambiance of the spring wind ruffling the leaves of trees, the royals seemed to have forgotten that there was a musician behind the song. They spoke openly, and around him, gossiping lots, talking lowly of others.

"We mustn't flaunt." Cecilia reminded her husband, "What if the people grow suspicious?"

Richard looked up from his cup rich with wine, "Of what, dearest? Any proper nobility must look the part. We are only claiming what should be rightfully ours, by any means possible."

Eddie had noticed, recently, that the Harringtons had come into a large sum of wealth. As far as he was aware, there hadn't been any recent battles won, any land conquered, nor any contracts signed.

Nothing had changed, and yet, there the royals were, popping expensive cheeses into their mouths and sipping on smooth, aged, burgundy drink. They wore finely sewn clothes, the extravagant material puffing up around their necks like ruffled birds.

Eddie only thought it made their heads look shrunken.

"And what when the river runs dry?" The Queen asked, "A bounty can only last so long. It isn't bottomless."

Her husband clicked his tongue, smiling devilishly at her, "Oh, dearest... Those ugly reptiles are meant to bring riches! Luck! Boundless good fortune! We must only be patient, as we were in capturing the foul beast to begin with."

Cecilia hummed in consideration, "I suppose..."

Most definitely a bit tipsy, Richard giggled, and his face was red and cheery, the embodiment of contentment, "I knew you'd share my vision, my love." He relaxed more into his chair with a long sigh, "Life is fine with such luxury, is it not."

Swirling the wine in her chalice, she seemingly conceded, "Fine it is, Richard. I fail to imagine any other way to live."

Grimacing, Eddie held from scoffing. These rich buffoons couldn't fathom the true beauty of life if it looked them in the eye and spoke their names. Life was uncertainty, it was chaos, it was peace. Life was everything that could not be contained, and this? This lavish living, that eliminated all troubles, was like existence in a cave.

But Eddie knew better than to give his own opinion in the presence of the royals. He was to be heard by way of his music, and nothing else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again, he found himself wandering. This time, it was in the expansive gardens. The beds of blooming flowers were the brightest and most colorful piece of the castle. The gardens were a quiet respite. And while the greenery was maintained so as to not overgrow, and while the hedges were trimmed into unnatural shapes, it was enough.

Eddie was someone who could feel absurdly lonely at times, but the gardens offered a different kind of solitude, one that he believed encouraged his writing, either in comedy or in song. Much like the flowers; here, he flourished.

He sat on a white stone bench, the rock expertly and expensively carved to perfectly harmonize with the lush foliage. A pleasantly warm breeze carried with it the sweet fragrance of soft petals, calming his senses.

After a long day playing until his fingers became sore, all Eddie wished for was some peace.

"'Thought I'd find you here." A voice startled him, and Eddie shot his head up to find Michael Wheeler walking leisurely down the stone-pathed path.

The musician tilted his head, "Someone requested my presence?"

"No one." The boy muttered, taking a seat next to Eddie, where he leaned his chin on his hands, elbows resting on his knees, "'Needed someplace free of all their bickering."

"Ah," The older hummed, "The baker and the squire have yet to seize their arguing, have they?"

Mike groaned, "It's only gotten worse!"

"How so?" Eddie prompted.

With renewed exasperation, the young scribe tore into the supposed idiocy of his friends, and condemned their pointless fighting. Apparently, Dustin had lately been retreating from their group, and Lucas, occupying himself more and more with his duties. Mike, ever the observant one, was trapped between the two, watching as they fell away from each other.

Truthfully, where Eddie could listen, he did not know the children so personally as to give any advice that wasn't mostly general. Somehow, they would need to arrange a kind of intervention between the warring boys.

"If you can persuade Sinclair into a meeting, even under a trick," Eddie offered, "Then I can talk to Henderson. With some luck, and my clever speaking, perhaps we could mend this rift?"

With his mouth pulled into a thin line, Mike nodded, "Lord, let us hope."

They parted after that, with the boy excusing himself to continue his day-to-day recording, truly a career that never slept. He seemed doubtful that they alone would so easily find a solution to the problem at hand, so Eddie would have to keep the carriage rolling with his own will.

[acidicbarkbeast]

original post about the au found here! would you believe they just fell asleep on top of each other? if you like them unclothed, image (tumb drafts)

[acidicbarkbeast]

original post about the au found here! and they were historically best friends! for cuddling, and nothing more! :] if you like them unclothed, image 1 (tumb drafts) image 2 (tumb drafts)