#drabbe-a-thon

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Drabble-A-Thon 2 Prompt #7

Pairing: Shigadabi

Rating: Explicit

Prompt: From @zehei, Dabi drops

Contents: Subdrop (suicidal thoughts/tendencies) , hurt/comfort, safeword use, degradation, League won the war. 

"Pathetic. But you know that already." Red eyes looking down at him as Dabi kneels in front of his throne. He isn't in the position to speak anyway. He's nothing but a toy, a tool, worthless for anything but this now that there isn't a war for them to fight anymore. He tries to keep the other's cock deep in his throat, tries to suck and swallow around him the best he can while the other has all five fingers knotted so tightly into his hair that he won't be able to pull away and even breathe unless the other man decides he's allowed. He won't kill him by accident anymore, but he could do it so intentionally, so quickly, Dabi doesn't know if he would even have time to register the betrayal. 

"Worthless." Tomura adds. "Reduced to nothing but a set of holes. What ambition you used to have. Look at what you are now." 

Dabi doesn't want to give in. He wants to hold it together, wants to prove that this, is not less than what he was before. But it is. He was the jewel of Tomura's army. He burned down half of the world for him, took his revenge, nearly died, and still clawed his way back to the land of the living, and now. Now this is all he's good for. He can't offer anything else that the other man actually needs. He is nothing more than a prized pet, well past his prime now that the fighting is over because that was all he built his body to do. Dabi tries to prove that he can still be good for this, but Tomura looks... bored as he moves his mouth. Frustration and helplessness bubble up inside of him and Dabi can't help it. Two little bloody tears slip from the corners of his eyes and run down his cheeks.

But they're signs of the weakness that Tomura has already been prodding at and he scoffs, letting go of his hair and shifting his gaze to the rest of the empty throne room. "It's a wonder that I even bother to keep something as pathetic as you." 

Dabi sobs. Worthless. Useless. Why did he bother to stay alive if this is all he would turn into? He thought, maybe, he could make the love in his chest mean as much to him as his revenge, but he can't pretend now. It's been years, and every time his lover looks away from him, every time he huffs as he's made to take care of his broken body or divert his attention from his work to give it to Dabi, he shows him again and again that it wasn't worth him staying alive. 

Those thoughts ring some kind of distant alarm bell in the back of his mind and Dabi pulls off of his lover's cock. That gets angry red eyes back on him because he definitely wasn't given permission for that. But he doesn't care. He can't hold onto Tomura's love or favor forever anyway, not when he can have anyone he wants in the whole world now. He just has to wait for him to throw him aside. Then he can just make himself a pyre somewhere dark and cold, give this world that has taken everything from him one last spiteful fire that blazes with warmth and light. 

"I didn't give you permission--" 

"Red," The word comes out on a sob, and that sound breaks his voice and breath. His chest is hitching and heaving in the next second, Dabi curling his torso in towards his folded knees, his hands moving to press up against his eyes as the tears burn hot and bitter from his eyes. The sounds are too loud and wracking, echoing all around the empty room. 

"Okay, that's alright, baby." Tomura's voice is so different from the way that it sounded just a second before. So much softer and kinder, sweeter. "Can I hold you, sweetheart?" 

Why would he even want to? Why keep playing at this being a happy ending for the both of them when this is just a prelude to the eternity that he will spend alone? 

But when he can't move, can't find breath to speak, Tomura doesn't disregard him. He slips off of his throne onto the floor with Dabi and pulls him into his lap, holding him tight to his chest. 

Dabi forces himself to find one more word, because he's past 'red' in a place that he can only just make sense of and knows he has to tell his lover, "Black." 

Tomura tenses against him and holds him tighter, hand in his hair and one stroking along his back. "Firefly, you know I never mean the horrible things I say. I want you right here, with me. If you were gone, I would throw it all away and I would break the world to bring you back to my side. Don't leave me, love. Please stay right here with me." He holds him so tight. Holds him like he really is scared Dabi will burn up in his arms and he'll be left here, clawing at his ashes without a mark on his skin because he is perfect now. He won't ever age, won't ever die. He will outlive even his empire. He could have other people, other things to fill his time, he won't miss Dabi when he's gone. 

His temperature creeps higher, the spark sitting under his skin, so ready to just take it all away. 

The arms tighten around him a little more and he hears Tomura's voice tremble when he pleads, "Don't leave me, Dabi. Please, none of this will be worth keeping if you're not with me." 

Dabi sobs harder, louder, his heat venting out between their bodies in a gust of black smoke as he clings to Tomura's skin as the sounds of his anguish keep echoing off of the walls. 

///

When he comes back up, it's days later. It's always days later when his broken psyche tells him to end it all if his emotions slip too far sideways. He's sitting in their palace, in the dining room. He's at the end of the long table, looking out the wall of windows that are flooded with the early morning light, and he has his food in front of him. Tomura is pouring him his coffee. 

Dabi reaches for his hand and stops him. Tomura lets the mug rest against the table and Dabi shifts so that he is holding his hand properly. Neither of them say anything for a long minute. But he has to say something. Has to hold onto this and remember that the way he was feeling before wasn't real. It was heightened emotions, warped through the lens of words that he asked for. 

"Not in the throne room again." Not that kind of play. Not in a room that is a screaming reminder that no matter how close they are, how much they love each other right now, there is a very real possibility, if Dabi's treatments don't work, that Tomura will be sitting in that room alone for decades after it has rotted around him, still eternal and perfect. Miserable and mad from the isolation. 

"Okay, firefly. Do you want to go back to bed?" It's probably been days, but he feels exhausted. He doesn't think he can handle facing the day. 

"Okay." He turns and finally, fully, looks at Tomura. And his chest aches sharply. He loves him so much. He never thought he could have an emotion that burns brighter inside his chest than his desire for revenge. But he loves him. He would have never forgiven himself if he left him in a moment his mind was clouded. "I love you." 

"I love you, firefly." Tomura leans down and Dabi wraps his arms around his neck. Lets his lover pick him up like he's small and fragile, and he still feels so brittle right now. It might be pushing it, but he needs it. 

"Show me?" 

Tomura pulls him close and presses their foreheads together. "Until you know it so innately that even your bones remember." 

He wouldn't ever give this up. Wouldn't ever abandon Tomura. He'll get to a point where that isn't even a question anymore. The world is theirs. All he has to do is heal his mind enough that his body will be able to withstand the treatments, and then eternity will belong to them too.

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