#dr rabinovitch x reader

[hxrtnett]

we're hanging on by threads — dr. rabinovitch

𖤓°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ in which the aftermath of the pittfest tragedy brings you and robby back together for few hours

warning/contains. swearing, blood mention, death mention, anxiety, arguing. literally anything that occurs in the pitt. age gap between reader and robby (10 years), ex lovers, angst

pairing. dr rabinovitch x fem!reader

oh, gemini by role model works with the angst of this :)

part two (soon!)

today out of all the days was the one where robby missed you the most. he missed waking up beside you to your smile, groan, or gentle greeting. he remembered the way your eyes crinkled in a smile and the comfort your face brought him, without you on a day he lost someone close to him, it took a toll on him. the nearly fifty year old knew how to take care of himself, but you were his rock, without you he felt out of place. 

you, on the other hand, walked through the parking lot with a heavy heart. you knew what today was, you felt sad for robby, but he cut you out. you listened to your car beep as it was fully locked, and you made your way to the pediatrics wing. as you turned the corner of the lot, you were blinded by headlights, instinctively you lowered your head to avoid it. the car passed and you looked behind you, making you sigh, robby’s car. 

he watched you lower your head, in your purple scrubs and doctor's jacket slung over your arm. in a split second, he could see the new changes to your hair. he refocused on the road, parking and sitting in his car. it took everything in him to not chase you down. from what he heard from dana and jake, you had a new boyfriend anyway. in the span of a year of being split, you moved on. it was a reasonable amount of time, he was the one moping around. 

you walked into the facility with a smile, you smiled at the kids you passed, and entered the office area. “morning.” you greeted your crew, putting your stuff in your locker and putting on your jacket and ID. you went over today’s patients, ones who were checked in and out over the night shift. today wasn’t easy, it never was, but it was going to be a bit calmer than what you knew you’d face downstairs. you sometimes helped in the pitt, you knew robby hated it, or at least you believed he hated it. you only helped when you were needed, as you were qualified to work in a normal hospital setting, or the emergency room. you originally trained and worked in the pitt, but after six years, your stress started to mess with your heart and made you grow grey quicker- everyone told you to step back. so, you moved up to the pediatrics unit, dana encouraged it since you studied for it. you spent the next nine years working there. you didn’t start dating robby until 2019, you were there for everything.

it was steady, even through the chaos of the pandemic, you guys were good.

but when he lost adamson, that’s when everything started to change. that’s when the relationship started fraying. you both were hanging on by threads, it was like he let go on his end, and you were struggling to keep holding on. 

and as the world started to get back to normal, you thought you both would too, but you were wrong. there were nights when you two sat on the couch after your late shifts, silence between you two as he stared at the tv and you stared at him over your book. or he’d start picking up shifts on the weekends he was supposed to be off, leaving you to be alone in the house. he had you move in once the pandemic hit hard, now it felt like you were a burden in the home that was supposed to be your future home, or you believed it would be due to the ring on your finger. 

you couldn’t help but wonder if he was still in love. if you mattered to him, if the ring was just a false promise. you never brought it up, you never had time to. you were working, he was always working. the weekends you spent alone consisted of you going to the gym with coworkers, taking up yoga, taking jake out on the plans you three made, and touring apartments. 

robby didn’t realize you bought an apartment until he noticed less and less of your belongings in the house. how did he notice? you couldn’t even come up with an idea, you were shocked he did. you two argued frequently before you finalized the deal on your place, the last argument you guys had made you leave. it was another saturday, robby was getting ready for work, you asked for him to call off.

“seriously y/n i’m making money for our wedding, let me go work.” he lied, making you get out of the bed and stand in the doorway of the connected bathroom, just looking at him. “our wedding? really? you haven’t been here to help me plan it. all we’ve done together is choose a day and venue.” you said, watching him brush his teeth. “one day with you is all i ask, it’s been months now of you constantly working, and when you don’t work, i am.” you spoke, your heart heavy. “maybe it’s for a reason.” he said, spitting the last of his toothpaste and wiping his mouth. your heart nearly shattered, “what is going on with you? did something recent happen? did i do something?” you asked, watching him as he walked past you. “micheal.” you tried again, getting silence. 

“is it adamson?” you asked, breaking the final nerve in robby’s body. 

looking back at this, he regretted it deeply, he didn’t know what took over him. he wished this never happened.

“everything is adamson these days, maybe i just want to work and be alone.” robby stated, looking at you. “it’s not fucking adamson, why would it be?” he asked, snapping. you were taken aback, frustrated now, “you take his passing anniversary off every year. you’re more quiet and stressed now. you don’t talk to me, you bail on jake and i. you’re not here! we got engaged months ago and suddenly you’re not here!” you stated, looking at him. “what if i don’t want to be here? with you? with this situation?” he questioned, “situation? are you referring to us as a situation?” you asked. his silence and stare answered you, his frustration over losing adamson, the guilt of it washed over him. if he wasn’t working in the emergency room, he was afraid he’d lose everyone else. he couldn’t be home with you, seeing the way you looked at him like he was glass. he felt so vulnerable, he wasn’t used to the overbearing care, so he fled. “it’s too much. i can’t be here while you look at me like i’m going to break.” he stated, turning back to his bag.

“i’m just worried micheal i want to be here for you-” “i don’t want you here! has that not clicked in your mind yet?!” he snapped. he watched you internally break but build yourself back up, guarding yourself. “i see.” was all you could muster, you nodded and walked past him. he continued packing his work bag but watched you, the annoyance didn’t fade, seeing you walk out into the living room. robby finished packing and walked to the kitchen, grabbing his lunch box and leaving. he didn’t hear the usual “i love you” which chipped a bit of his annoyance away, “i’ll see you later.” he called out to silence, then left.

he returned home later that night, wondering why your car wasn’t in the driveway. he entered the house and called your name, walking into the room to see your nightstand bare. dread hit him then, he walked to the bathroom, kitchen, living room, back to the shared closet. this time, there was nothing in the house that was yours. he returned to the kitchen with a pounding heart, spotting the house key and ring on the counter. there was no note, no goodbye, nothing. he called you, you never picked up, he texted you but they never went through.

he tried talking to you when you helped in the pitt. 

“y/n please just let me talk-” “dr. rabinovitch i have a patient needing a chest tube, get out of my way.”

you planned on working at the pitt tonight, knowing robby wasn’t, but seeing his car turned your ideas around. you couldn’t, especially today, the fourth year without adamson. so instead, you worked as much as you could in your wing. you had three codes, several operations, and four discharges. you lost a kid, helped many, and had more come in from the pitt. your breaks were short, you were on the go all day.

but, this was your job, you loved helping families and kids, this is what you signed up for. 

the shift moved quickly, and it was cut short when the news flooded through and any doctor possible was needed in the pitt. out of the several doctors in pediatrics, you and two others were turned to as you all trained in it. 

so here you were, walking downstairs to meet dana who asked for you specifically. “angel, thank you for coming down.” she hugged you tight, using the nickname everyone in the pitt referred to you with in unprofessional moments. you were named “the angel” for coming down frequently and taking some night hours to help, dr abbott coined it first, dana ran with it. “this is the norm, today just happens to be a shitty reason. your face? are you okay?” you asked, checking her out. “some asshole, today’s my last day.” she whispered the last part, your eyes widened and she waved you off, “we’ll catch up over coffee, my time is over here.” she spoke, handing you a gown. “i think you need to talk to robby.” she started. “dana for the last time-” “jake was there, we haven’t heard from him. that’s your kid as much as it is micheal’s and neither of you are jake’s biological parents. talk to micheal, for the love of god, just tonight.” dana stated.

fear came over you, you walked to robby and felt your peers’ eyes. you grabbed his arm and pulled him to where nobody could overhear unless they tried. “dana said jake was there, do you want me to call? does his mom know?” you haven’t said this many words to him since you left. “she knows, please try and get to him.” robby said, and you followed his order. robby watched as you found jake’s contact, called, and waited for him to pick up.

as you waited for the call, robby looked you over. you looked good, real good. you looked at peace despite the circumstances, barely any wrinkles despite the grey streaks you had due to stress, you had little to no makeup on, you still wore the simple ring jake and him bought you three years ago, and now you had a band beside it on your ring finger. robby’s heart dropped to his chest. 

“hey jake, please call mom, me, or micheal when you can, okay? we just want to know that you’re safe. please be safe, we love you so much honey. call us, please.” you left a voicemail, looking back at robby with worried eyes. “don’t think of the what-ifs, we’ve had these moments before with him not answering.” robby tried to soothe you, “this is different.” you said, making him nod, “i’m just trying not to think the worst, i’m so goddamn close to it.” he spoke. “he’ll get to us, he’ll find his way to us, he always does.” you spoke, trying to reassure yourself. 

you could see the fear in robby’s eyes, you most likely mirrored it. “i know you don’t want me to be, but im here for you if you need it. he’s our kid, in a way.” you said, your words stabbing his heart unknowingly. jake was the closest thing to you guys having a kid together, and he needed you there with him, he regretted saying he didn’t. “micheal.” you said, hand on his arm, trying to catch his eye.

he looked at you in the eyes, nodding, “yeah-yeah thank you.” he said softly, hand going above yours. the gesture was loving, you both felt it, but pulled apart.

“what’s the plan?” you asked robby, looking at the soon to be chaos around you guys.

for the next several hours, you worked alongside robby accidentally. both of you ended up on the same operation, working triage and any additional things. it was comforting to you, though you could never admit it. you never fully moved on, you were engaged to the man. your ex boyfriend after was even worse, so it was short lived. he never liked jake anyway, or your career, so you left him after he cheated. your family and career came first, relationships didn’t matter, you grew to be okay with being alone; robby made you learn how.

you both walked side by side, leading the way and telling the others what to do or give. robby looked at you, drilling in a bag to give blood, speaking with dr abbott on what you needed. you directed people perfectly, you were what the the pitt needed- a nicer, yet strong leader. the rest of them were cutthroat while you did things with a smile.

he got separated from you, helping others while you went to aid mel in a different wing. a part of him wanted to keep tabs on you as much as possible, as much tabs he was trying to keep on jake.

stepping outside, robby tried to get fresh air while handling the patients coming in at lightning speed. his heart pounded, and he swallowed back his anxiety, he was ready to get home, he needed peace.

a bit of peace came when you joined robby to help a few patients. “i’m dr l/n and this is dr robby, can you tell us your name?” you asked a patient, helping her into a wheelchair with robby. once she did, you felt a strong pulse and slapped on a color bracelet. you looked at robby, “breathe.” you said softly, walking away to get others.

robby watched you handle triage, barely flinching, directing people left to right. as he helped others, he followed your orders and calmed himself a bit. robby looked back up once you called him over, needing help with a patient. you both moved the man to a stretcher, you took pulse, checked for responsiveness, and gave him a certain color.

as you did all this, robby noticed you were doing the same thing he was doing, looking for jake. it made him feel even worse. you were supposed to be married by now, mr and mrs rabinovitch, with a new house and a guest room for the kid who loved to see you both. you were supposed to have nights where he could call you his, how he missed doing that.

it wasn’t supposed to be like this, you weren’t supposed to buy an apartment in silence and slowly move out, he wasn’t supposed to say those things to you, he wasn’t supposed to lose you. but this was his reality, just another harsh loss he had to face.

“you good?” he asked you when you stood alone for a second, looking around and leading people around by your hands. you looked at robby, “yeah i’m good, why is SWAT here?” you asked, looking at the SWAT team with him. “supposedly the shooter is coming here.” robby informed, making your eyes widen and you tense up. “why?” you asked. robby looked over at the older woman in the police car, you looked over at her. “that’s his mother. we’ve been trying to find him all day.” he informed.

robby watched everything run through your mind, your wide eyes glossy. “hey hey, cmon now. we got this, we’re going to be safe okay?” he assured, hands going to your arms. you looked at him and nodded, “i just can’t lose more kids today.” you said softly, seeing the teenagers around you get rushed in. robby’s face fell softly, and you looked at him, “go inside, they need you. i’m good to help out here.” you said.

he listened to you, he had a horrible feeling in his gut and wasn’t sure what was going on, but something in him was telling him to bring you inside. the feeling only worsened when SWAT ended up inside, protecting the doors or wherever they could. some doctors even asked for you, needing your assistance, robby had to get you inside.

he wanted you safe, he didn’t know what he’d do if the shooter came to you, if he lost you. he didn’t say it to anyone, and tried not to think about it, but he lost you once and didn’t want to completely lose you.

so he turned on his heel, walking out to triage at a quicker speed to find you. as he did so, he caught you bolting over to someone in a stretcher.

“oh my god! jake!”