#doves are the real example of pretty privilege

[birbs-facts]

FACT: Doves are just pigions with good PR

[wehavethoughts]

Comfortable Country Review!

Comfortable Country: Peaceful Homes Inspired by the Country Author: Enrica Stabile Photographer: Christopher Drake Publisher: Ryland Peters & Small, Inc., 2001 ISBN: 978 1 84597 361 2

*All quotes are from the book.

“Country is not simply an area you can find on a map, it is a place of the spirit.”

Comfortable Country strongly establishes the mood of country-inspired interior decoration. Aspirational homes are showcased on nearly every page, depicting pretty examples of design elements in a country home. The book’s text and images together create a thorough list of what you need to furnish your dream home, more idealistic than practical. Though lyrical and dreamy, Comfortable Country receives a rating of three darling geese out of a possible six, ultimately unable to rise to the standard of being a book about actual design in an accessible way. 

“...home should be a haven of renewal...”

Stabile is verbosely lyrical, describing tangible elements in great detail and providing abstract words to key readers into the decor style’s gentle tone. Repeated again and again, almost ad nauseum, are: comfortable and comforting, simple, inviting, relaxed, peaceful, cozy, casual, informal, tranquil, natural, soothing, unassuming, unpretentious, generous, soft, and restful. The painted picture is very clear; a real #mood #vibe is conjured in Stabile’s detailed imagery. But it’s the same thing on every other page: faded linens, white paint, terracotta pots. All of those elements are fabulous, but we got it the first time!

“Elements like these remind us of the pleasure we derive from the integrity of natural materials and living with things shaped by human hands from nature’s bounty.”

The book got redundant very quickly. The first section focuses on influences to consider: changing seasons, peacefulness, nostalgia, utility, and natural materials. Each is integral to country decor and living, in which you can “indulge your senses and promote your wellbeing.” The second half distributes these characteristics in various rooms of the home, applications of the notes from the first section. This call and response format works to really show readers how the fantasy works... and again... and again… The photography is so beautiful and rich; so many words weren’t needed. Or, if Stabile wanted her specific voice to come through, detail away but limit the book to carefully selected images that flatter the writing-- more of a style diary.

Comfortable Country is a thorough lookbook, a selection of excellent examples curated to present a fresh take (in 2001) on country style. I wonder which elements contributed to that fresh take: wildflowers in chipped vintage enamelware? Embroidered cloth napkins? Homemade ceramic mugs? Delft tiles or Victorian plates? Undoubtedly very pretty, I have a meticulous guide book of items to buy or find and visual examples of ways to place them in my own personal home. However, Stabile’s narrative on lifestyle has a shallow relationship to the material decor of the style, shying away from being a true design book. This brings me to how Stabile grounded, or didn’t ground, the book in any context whatsoever.

“All you need is time to enjoy it.”

Stabile is repeatedly very encouraging of a slower, quieter lifestyle. Chosen items should center rest, enjoyment, and ease. This is all very clear and, I think, very good! I personally would absolutely love to just start over in a sweet cottage, having enough money and time to gather precious pieces and make all my food from scratch. So many of us follow #cottagecore, but there is something inherently imaginary about the vibe, it’s attractive because it’s unattainable. I am still curious as to where her vision resides in a more practical reality, one likely inhabited by her readers. She gets so close!: encouraging me to decorate to my own personal interpretation, to have an “individual reaction to individual things.” However, simply buying these items cannot suddenly allow me to lead a more peaceful, country-inspired life.

“...recapture the unassuming style of a contented era not so long ago.”

This vision is certainly not unimportant, especially in our capitalist society in which we are overworked and undernourished. But Stabile only skirts around this issue, I wish she dove in more! Instead, she longs for a lost era, a time when… The recurring nostalgia is vague, reductionist, and admittedly, kinda sexist. We are asked to “recall a time when all appeared safe and ordered” and I ask: safe for whom? Stabile encourages us to “copy country housewives of times gone by…” to which I would reply, “No thanks.”

“The practical essentials of life need not be unattractive simply because they are useful.”

Perhaps I am mixing country and cottage, but this book indirectly claims a white, patriarchal understanding of being ‘one with nature’ as the ideal. The rhetoric of having a country house is not only bourgeoisie, but actively ignores indigenous ways of life that existed long before ‘having a country house’ was a thing. So many native cultures to this day live in a way where items are indeed made with natural materials, food is picked fresh, and the home is interconnected with the surrounding environment. Stabile jabs at post-war economic boom mass-production of (mostly plastic) goods. This context is important and yet not so simple. Without acknowledging who created the problem, she criticizes and rejects it.

“...make artful use of simple effects to create an unpretentious, relaxing look.”

Basically, what Stabile is presenting is actually luxury more than peaceful living. It’s not about understanding why goods were created en masse, how local artisans were replaced with national department stores. The result is a surface-level relationship with the object around us, which fetishizes ‘simple’ ways of life. An ode to what wealth can do, Comfortable Country acknowledges the need to escape from ‘chaotic city life’, but fails to see how a sweet, gentle hermitage is not an adequate reply to the root causes of why we need that escape in the first place.

Look at this next passage. The voice tries to be relatable, starting by blaming technology and then commenting on minimalism out of nowhere (there’s so much to say on minimalism, coming up in my next post!), but ultimately doesn’t seriously tackle the beautiful goals of the last sentence.

“When technology became a fact of life we had to assimilate, many of us turned to minimalism and a pared-down style to reflect the proficiency of our new world. But real people are not suited to behaving as though daily life were a laboratory experiment-- cool, clean, and clinical. Efficiency has its place, but in the things that we choose to live with we need an intimacy and a softness to keep us gentle, and to keep us human.”

I can only assume the intended audience of Comfortable Country is one who wants a fantasy getaway. This is totally fine! I can only award three geese because, while it sounds lovely, the book is removed from truly accessible design. A reader might crave white linen curtains and a stone bench to sit and admire her garden. But I wish this book were so much more than just a privileged dictation of what country-chic means to her and how you can do it too! It comes across as condescending to a reader like me who thinks (too) critically and has the knowledge to design on her own. The book was what it said it was, and I would only recommend it to those starting out in figuring out their style.

With loving curiosity, DesignMod

[veridium]

oc interview - olivia

tagged by the terrific @heraldofwho​ to have my oc do an interview! thank you again for the tag!

tagging @dickeybbqpit​, @avaquet​, @bitchesofostwick​, @cullenvhenan​, and @star--nymph​ if they have not done one already, or would like to do one for another oc!

name ➔ “Olivia Sinclair is my full name, though people hardly know it on account of my title. I know you have likely been asked to adhere to that, but please, call me Olivia.” are you single ➔ “I...” She grins tensely, and looks off to the nearest window. “I have a troublesome history with that word. I never consider myself “taken” or “spoken for.” I am never spoken for. But I admit I have a fondness for someone. That is all I will admit.” are you happy ➔ She smirks and shakes her head. “Happiness is a distracting goal. I have not been happy as people would call it in many years. Do I have moments of happiness? Yes. Do I hunger for it? Yes. But someone like me, the world does not encourage happiness.”  are you angry ➔ “Yes, always. I just hide it well, and choose to laugh whenever I have that choice.” are your parents still married ➔ “They were until my Father passed away when I was seventeen. As far as I know, my Mother never remarried. I would not care, truly, if she did. I wouldn’t be surprised, either. Their marriage was far from perfect or lovely.”

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ “I was born at my family’s home just north of Val Royeaux. Normally I just say the Capitol, since it is close enough.” hair color ➔ “Blonde, fair, bright, whatever you would call it. The Bard in the tavern, Maryden, teases me by singing of it as spun gold. She knows I scowl at the idea of being talked about like I am some pristine art fixture.” eye color ➔ “That changes rather famously. When I am at rest they are hazel, but I am never at rest. They glow a little of gold and sometimes red. Mages can have very expressive eyes, and if they choose not to control it, it can be rather sinister looking.” She pauses, and a wry smile grows on her lips. “I like it like that.” birthday ➔ “The 7th of Drakonis, in the year 9:15.”  mood ➔  “My mood? Hah,” she crosses her arms, “depends on who you ask. I would say quite friendly. Varric would agree. The Seeker would not.” gender ➔ “I am a woman.” summer or winter ➔  “Summer. Though, I have become used to the eternal snow and chill of the Frostbacks. It isn’t always a treat. Summer and Spring are my favorite seasons because of the warmth and liveliness of the country. My Father used to hunt and host gatherings celebrating the open season. Everything felt much more bearable and beautiful.”

morning or afternoon ➔ “Mornings. I do not sleep very well, so mornings are my most productive. As soon as the sun rises, I do. I absolutely detest getting a late start to my day.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ “You would never have me admit in open air if I was. Sorry, but I learned far before I ever had the chance to decide for myself, that wearing my heart on my sleeve is nothing but a liability. It is a hard habit to unlearn.” do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “I believe in infatuation as well as obsession. I believe we can use people as escapes from our own concerns. All-too-often we use these hungers as excuses to call it love. As for the real thing, perhaps I am unfamiliar with it and that has made me a skeptic. I cannot be blamed, no? After all, what have been my examples of it? Nothing worth recreating or venerating, I can tell you that much.”

who ended your last relationship ➔ “I did not have relationships, I had encounters. They ended as anomalously as they began. I do not start things with people that would cause me too much grief to finish.” have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ “Yes...and their skulls...and their arms...well, I should clarify that it was not a lover’s quarrel or honest tryst. I would never do that to someone I was sincerely fond of. Where do you think I got my alias as the Black Dove, anyway? There is a reason no one has yet ventured to court me.” are you afraid of commitments ➔ “My friends would say yes. I would say yes if it means I know the perils of “belonging” to someone.” She says it with an ache in her voice, like she only half-agrees with what she is saying. She crosses one leg over the other and shakes herself of the melancholy. “I think it is even worse when the commitment is genuine. You cannot avoid it or dissuade yourself. It just becomes this affliction you have to wash yourself of.”

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Yes! Of course! My friends, my Ambassador. She used to have such an odd look on her face when I did it in the beginning, she is such a stickler for decorum. We only ever do it in private because of it. She has been won over, though, I am pleased to say.” have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “In all likelihood, yes. When people first meet me it is all about how pretty and petite I am. Naomi said once that I am honey on the eyes but spice on the tongue. I do not disagree,” she snickers a bit. have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ She opens her mouth quickly, but catches herself from responding. She chuckles a bit anxiously, and runs a hand up around the side of her neck. “I have, and I do. But that is our little secret -- I cannot have people thinking I am so sentimental.”

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ “Love is a fanciful ideal. Lust is a human craving that I am much more sympathetic of, and I know that sounds rather careless, but it is the truth. When we are honest about what is lust and what is love, I think we find lust is the most apt descriptor for the needs we act on. Love, however, takes many shapes. I love my people, I love my allies, and I love my cause. I am a human who lusts for intimacy and gratification. These do not have to exclude each other.” lemonade or iced tea ➔ “Oh sweet Maker, who would drink lemonade? Tea, tea, nothing but tea. Though I will admit I like it better hot.” cats or dogs ➔ “I do not have a preference for either. Cullen will talk for hours about dogs and I only pay attention to the first sentence and last -- shit, don’t tell him that, he will only want to rant more. Cats are fine as well. My favorite animals tend to be much larger, and with hooves and muzzles,” she says with a fiendish smile, knee jerking to show off her calf-high riding boots still on her feet. 

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “A few very close friends is always worth more than a legion of accolades. I will never not say so. I will admit however that my inclusion of people into that category has grown bigger since the Inquisition began.”  wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “Romantic, you say? So, me alone with books, candles, and a cup of something strong? I will take that over a night out. At the risk of being accused of lies, I will say I do not hate being out with good company. I am good at being sociable! Does not mean I wholeheartedly enjoy it.” day or night ➔ “Day for the struggle, night for the trouble, as my dear friend Roslyn would say. I will leave it at that,” she says tilting her head and chuckling again. 

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ “Yes. As a child I would always want to stay up late like my Father did. Sometimes I could make it from where my room was on my Mother’s side of the home to my Father’s and find him still sitting by his fire, smoking a pipe or drinking his brandy. When I was sent to the Circle such things were much more dangerous to do, but I still sometimes broke the Templar’s curfew for certain...reasons. Understandably, nowadays I do not run into such authorities.”

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “Uh...hm, well,” she scrunched her lips to one side of her face. “I am afraid both. I am...or, was, quite clumsy. Funny, considering I was a dancer in my childhood. We cannot outrun all of our imperfections, no?” wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ "Yes, so many things. So many opportunities I have chased and craved for years. It is at the very heart of who I am. As for people...that is a much more sordid answer.” wanted to disappear ➔ “If it meant defying a Templar’s vigilance, yes. Completely. Growing up I would have given anything to just be what I thought was a regular, more liberated person -- someone not born to privilege which I saw as a cage. I have since learned it was a child of wealth’s romanticization of poverty. I had many troubles, yes, but none of them were insecurity with food, shelter, or protection. What I truly wanted was to be treated with respect and love. That standard should not depend on class.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ “Eyes! Eyes are projections of the spirit. I fall for--I mean, ahah, I get to know someone a great deal through the way their eyes and faces change in different moods.” shorter or taller ➔ “With my height, it is rather easy to elect for taller.” intelligence or attraction ➔ “Both, yes? You need both to a degree. Minds in tandem with one another add the fire to any bond.” hook-up or relationship ➔ She gives a knowing look, brow raised and grin crooked, indicating to move on to the next question. 

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ She only chuckles and rolls her eyes.  would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “I grew up in a deeply distorted and toxic culture. I was sent to the Circle which oppressed Mages for being who they are. My friends and I broke free and I landed here, somehow, with an anchor in my hand and a title before my name. I have suffered but I have survived. A lot of people would say the same having faced dangers I never had to.” have you ever ran away from home ➔ ”No, but then again, eventually I did not have to.” have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “I believe that is what one might say into describe my being sent to the Circle, so, yes?”

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “Secretly? No! Veronica knows I revile her.” She tries to maintain a straight face, but she cannot help but crack another smile.  do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “Yes, of course. They are the noblest, kindest, and most worthy people I know. We grew up together. As for my friends in the Inquisition, I know better than to believe our relationships indivisible. We all have arrived from different places and positions in the world. If this fight ever ends, I imagine those positions will pull us into new and old directions. All this said, I wish to believe that our bonds have a sincerity to them.” who is your best friend ➔ “I could never say I have just one. I have a few. When we have different concerns and needs, we go to each other. It is as it should be.” who knows everything about you ➔ “Me as a person behind the leadership role? One of the girls could probably answer that. Me as both leader and person? Leliana and Josephine, of course. Cassandra would...she would, too.” She blinks, and shakes her head suddenly. “I mean, of course she would. That woman has dragged me everywhere. Insufferable.”

[batgirl-87]

Close Encounters {In The Prefect Bath}

Summary:  Breaking curses to find her brother and save Penny’s little sister, as well as the entire school, facing off against an evil cult (are there any non-evil cults?), Prefect and Quidditch Captaincy responsibilities, and all the other side quests to help her friends – all while studying for her O.W.L.s – has got Keira quite stressed to say the least. She attempts to escape to the Prefect Bath to de-stress, unbeknownst to her that it’s already occupied. Brotherly teasing ensues.

Word Count: 4,268

Genre: Humor?

Warnings: Nudity mention (it is a bath!), Sensory Overload, Playful tormenting of Charlie

Note: I don’t believe it’s ever exactly explained how the Prefect Bathroom works (since Harry was nervous about being caught in it 4th year) and while a bathroom should clearly be locked while occupied, especially in a school (especially in a school with hormonal teens =p) it is only used by a small handful of students who maybe have a schedule or some sort of code or something to signal they’re using the bath and just respect that?

Anyway, having it locked while occupied would defeat the whole idea for this fic! So possibly not canon? But for fun (because this is supposed to be a funny story) let’s say the Prefect Bath door unlocks for anyone who knows the password regardless if someone is inside or not. Or they forgot to lock the door – that is very plausible.

I just started Year 5 so some things that occur during the year may be left out.

*Things have been edited to reflect new information in regards to Charlie’s bathing habits and more rumors going around about Charlie, Bill, and MC spending so much time in the Prefect Bath together*

Soundtrack Suggestion: *Kill Bill Sirens* 

Curse-Breaker.

Prefect.

O.W.L.s.

Quidditch Captain.

Beatrice was trapped in a painting. Penny was a mess, understandably, because of it. Charlie got swindled by a shady dealer and had his hopes shattered with an Acromantula egg. Bill was graduating. New Professor Rakepick had her constantly on edge with all her tests. The sinister threats of the cloaked cult were looming. She had to get her Marauder’s Map. She had to get Penny’s sister out of that portrait. She had to keep her friends safe and stop this cult. She had to find her brother. She also had to win the next Quidditch match or she’d never hear the end of it from Andre.

Don’t even get her started on the upcoming Ball.

The weight of everything could be crushing at times. Sometimes it could be hard to sleep or eat or even concentrate and focus on homework, in class, what her friends were saying… anything.

Sometimes everything just felt like it was too much. Everything was looming over her and time was running out. There was impending doom. There was too much to do. Too much studying, too many people counting on her, too much noise.

She wanted everything to stop. Time needed to stop. All the noise needed to stop. The hurricane of thoughts in her mind, her friends talking and laughing about whatever Billingsley had done now, Penny crying over her sister, the chatting of other students, the lecturing from Professors, the clinking of silverware and plates and glasses in the Great Hall, the shushing from Madam Pince, the scratching of quills on parchment – everything could become so amplified as they competed with one another inharmoniously, spinning and closing in around her. Seats became hard and uncomfortable, the sun was harsher, blinding, burning. Her shirt and tie were too tight and cutting off oxygen.

Sometimes she found it hard to breathe.

Everything could become inconceivably overwhelming.

~*~*~*~

Keira hurried down the hallway as she struggled to breathe, her heart pounding in her chest. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, but with each year at Hogwarts this overwhelming sensation seemed to become more frequent. Before she had become Prefect and Quidditch Captain she had responded to these sudden overwhelming moments by leaping into the Black Lake or flipping herself into the courtyard fountain – both much to the disapproval of the Professors.

Perhaps it was because of her mother’s Undine genes, but water always calmed and soothed Keira. Just being near a lake or a river brought her a sense of peace. She would take hours in the shower or bath if she could. The Slytherin Common Room was a real place of sanctuary for her. And when she felt this overwhelmed with everything going on in her life and around her, the only thing that helped her quiet everything down was submerging herself in water.

Fortunately, now she was a Prefect and Quidditch Captain which meant she had access to the large and ornate Prefect’s Bathroom. No more dunking herself into the courtyard fountain! Well, maybe just for fun and old time’s sake… But at least she could not get in trouble by the Professors for using the Prefect Bath and she could spend as long as she needed in the water.

Keira shoved past a couple students walking opposite down the hallway as she made her way to the Prefect’s Bathroom. She quickly uttered the password before barging into the massive, luxurious bathroom. In one fluid motion she slipped her bag off her shoulder and tossed it aside, along with her wand and uniform cardigan, and kicked off her shoes before plunging into the large pool-like bathtub.

Instant relief struck her as soon as she felt the warm water against her skin. The deeper she sank the calmer she felt. The cacophony of noises dulled to a silence. Her frenzied thoughts dissipated and her mind was clear.

She finally felt at peace.

She floated in the still water, relaxing as it cradled her. However, after a moment of gaining some serenity, she was able to think more clearly.

Why was the bath already filled up? She just leapt into an already full bath without touching any faucets or casting any spell… Now that she thought about it she was pretty sure there were bubbles floating on top of the water before she dove in.

Oh no…

Keira slowly swam back to the surface and peeked over the water’s surface, her eyes meeting the surprised and quizzical blue ones of a familiar Gryffindor.

“…Hey…”

Keira poked the rest of her head out of the water to reply just as awkwardly.

“Uh…hey…”

Keira treaded water as she and the eldest Weasley continued to stare at each other, possibly both processing the current situation.

“…You okay,” Bill finally asked in his usual older brother tone.

“Yeah,” Keira replied with a nod of her head.

“Are you sure? Because you just stormed in here and tried to drown yourself,” Bill pointed out.

“I wasn’t trying to drown myself,” Keira informed him matter-of-factly.

“You were down there for like five minutes. I almost went and got you. Thought I’d have to give you CPR.”

“It was not five minutes,” Keira replied, rolling her eyes.

“Slight exaggeration,” Bill said with a shrug.

Thank Merlin the person she intruded upon taking a bath was the ever chill – except when it came to his N.E.W.T.s – Bill Weasley. Anyone else and this would be a very awkward and uncomfortable situation very fast. Bill, however, remained casually lounged against the side of the bath, his arms propped up on the edge of the pool-like tub.

“Well I’m fine now. Thank you for your concern,” Keira told him, keeping her informative tone.

“Is this like when you jumped into the fountain,” Bill asked curiously, a teasing smirk playing on his lips.

Keira’s expression, however, was not amused. “I- that was- I don’t-… Yeah, I guess it is,” she finally relented.

Bill’s smirk only grew at her stammering defense which ended up failing. “I’m going to miss watching you fling yourself into the fountain,” he admitted. “Maybe I should talk to Dumbledore about taking away your Prefect privilege of this bathroom so you have to go back to that.”

“Shut up!” Keira playfully glared at him as she splashed some water at the Head Boy. Amazingly, they somehow forgot they were currently in a bathroom, one of them naked in a bath, and proceeded to have a casual chat as they would anywhere else. All thanks to Bill’s natural chill personality. Also thanks to Bill’s natural big brother personality, Keira was in a much better mood than she was earlier.

Bill chuckled as he blocked water from going into his eyes with one arm as he turned his head. “What? It’s very amusing,” he informed her.

Keira rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly before looking away as if avoiding eye contact would hide the smile creeping onto her face from him.

“So, feeling overwhelming stressed again,” Bill asked causing Keira to look back over at him. Somehow seeing his bare torso didn’t alert her to the fact that he was naked in the bath right now.

“Guess you could say that,” Keira muttered, hating to admit it to anyone. She didn’t want anyone to know how much she struggled with everything she had to deal with. “But I’m feeling much better now,” she assured quickly.

“Well a nice hot bath will do wonders,” Bill agreed.

“Is that what you’re doing? Trying to relax from stressing out about your N.E.W.T.s?” Despite them both acknowledging that fact he was taking a bath right now, that bit of information didn’t deter their casual vibe.

This was a perfect example of their relationship. They were very close and comfortable with each other. Maybe too comfortable…

“Yeah… I just really need to do well on them. I don’t want to ruin my chances at becoming a Curse-Breaker.”

Keira couldn’t help but scoff. “Please, Will, you’re going to become a Curse-Breaker. You’re smart, and brave, and you have Rakepick helping you. You’ll be fine.”

Bill stared at the Slytherin girl a moment, his expression unreadable, before a small smile formed on his face. “Thanks… You know, I’m usually the one who gives the encouraging pep talk.”

“I know, you’re the surrogate big brother. You’re there for everyone. But someone has to be there for you, too.”

“And that someone is you,” Bill asked with a small teasing smirk but his eyes shone with appreciation.

“Yes, it is,” Keira answered confidently with a nod of her head. Bill smiled gratefully at her.

“The bloody hell is this?!”

Keira and Bill quickly looked over as the cry of shock and betrayal echoed throughout the bathroom.

Charlie stood next to the pool-like bath starring at the scene before him in horror.

“Hey, Char-“ Bill began to greet before his brother cut him off with quite the piercing glare, uncharacteristic of the normally sweet Weasley.

“Don’t ‘hey Charlie’ me all casual because you’re just “so cool.” The bloody hell is going on here,” he demanded at his brother, motioning to his older brother and the Slytherin girl currently sharing a bath together. The same girl that a few months ago he realized he had feelings for, with the help of his older brother so Bill knew how he felt! How could his brother do this to him?!

Despite his younger brother currently glaring daggers at him, Bill remained ever calm and unfazed. “Just enjoying a nice hot bath. It’s quite relaxing. You should join us,” he offered, fighting back a smirk. As an older brother it was his job to torment his younger siblings, right?

“Wha- Join you?! You-You-You’re naked,” Charlie pointed out, practically in a shriek.

For some reason, when Charlie said, or rather shouted, it, it finally clicked for Keira. “You’re naked?”

Bill turned back to look at her before shrugging. “I’m in the bath.”

Welp, that made sense…

The fact that neither of them seemed to care at all that they were having a bath together while Bill was naked drove Charlie absolutely mad.

“You just – You’re just sitting in the bath together, naked, grinning at each other –“

“We’re not both naked,” Bill pointed out, interrupting Charlie’s angry ranting, causing Charlie to pause only to glare more intensely at his brother. Do not try him, William!

Keira, meanwhile, glanced down at her now soaking wet clothes. Whoops… Well that was true. Clearly it was a good thing she didn’t completely strip down before leaping into the water or else this whole situation would be a lot different.

“And there are bubbles,” Bill continued, ignoring his brother’s glaring. Possibly enjoying provoking his brother and getting him all hot and bothered. It was rare to see the two eldest Weasley’s angry and riled up and as the oldest brother Bill may get some pleasure from torturing his younger siblings.

“Speaking of which, you may want to move those ones over a bit,” Keira spoke up, motioning to a mound of bubbles floating in front of Bill.

“Oh, thanks,” Bill said, reaching over to gently move the bubbles per her instructions as Charlie let out a frustrated groan. A small smirk spread across both Bill and Keira’s faces as they fought back laughter. “And I know what you’re going to say next,” he started before Charlie could start up again. “Keira’s wearing a white shirt that’s now sopping wet so she might as well be naked but I can assure you I have maintained eye contact this entire time! I’m a gentleman.” Don’t make him out as some creep! Their mum raised them right!

“Hey,” Keira cried out, offended as if somehow this was her fault! Okay, maybe it was… not the point!

Charlie let out another cry of agony.

He swore he saw them share a look – a knowing look with a sly smirk – as if they were both in on it, both messing with him. Which they were. But that just made it worse. They were close. All they had to do was share a look and they seemed to know what the other was thinking. They worked well together even when it was just messing with others like him. They had each other’s backs, supported each other.

They were partners.

“Well I better get out before I get all pruney,” Bill said as he began to lift himself out of the water.

“NO!” Charlie’s shout echoed throughout the bathroom causing Bill to freeze. “You just stay right where you are!”

Bill tried to fight a smirk as he sunk back into the water, watching his younger brother on the verge of pulling his hair out. “Seriously, Charlie, you should get in here. You’re clearly in need of a relaxing soak.” His older brother’s fake concern only caused Charlie to glare harsher at him.

“Okay, okay,” Keira started in a calm voice, trying to ease the stressed out Gryffindor Seeker. “I’m going to get out.” As she made her way over to the edge of the tub Charlie, being a chivalrous gentleman as well since, again, their mum raised them right, grabbed a towel and held it open for her, keeping his eyes firmly on his brother. When Keira assured him he didn’t have to avert his gaze since she wasn’t the naked one there, Charlie replied that he was just making sure his brother didn’t look at her since he claimed to be such the gentleman himself. Bill just smirked at his brother.

Keira hoisted herself out of the tub and stepped into the towel Charlie held out for her. He helped her wrap the towel around her, his gaze softening.

“Why don’t you yell at her? She’s the one who intruded on my bath,” Bill pointed out. “Probably just wanted to see me naked,” he added with a smirk, causing his brother to throw him a disgusted look.

“Please, if I wanted to see you naked I wouldn’t have to surprise you in the bath. I’m always surprised when you do wear clothes,” Keira retorted.

“When you have the body of an Adonis it’s a sin to have it covered up all the time,” Bill informed them before looking offended as Charlie scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You’re just jealous,” Bill claimed before moving once again to hoist himself out of the pool-like bath.

“I said stay right there,” Charlie commanded again, and once again causing his older brother to pause before sinking back into the water.

“Are you using your Prefect voice on me?”

“It’s more like his Quidditch Captain voice,” Keira corrected, throwing Charlie a small smirk. Bill watched his younger brother smile sheepishly and smirked himself as he watched a tinge of pink spread across the Seeker’s face.

And as a true older brother, Bill of course had to continue his teasing. “I had no idea you had such a problem with nudity. Must make changing in the Quidditch changing room very awkward for you.”

“I don’t have a problem with it, I have a problem with yours,” Charlie informed him.

“Oh, because I make you feel insecure about your body?”

“You do not make me feel insecure,” Charlie assured with a mocking chuckle.

“It’s okay, completely understandable. Must be hard for you and Percy and the Twins and Ron when your older brother is the best looking in the family,” Bill continued.

“You spend all your time worrying about your hair. I play Quidditch –“

“Oh, so you think you’re more fit than me?”

“I don’t think it, I’m saying it.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it,” Bill challenged with a smirk, his little brother falling into his trap easily.

“Wha-what,” Charlie stammered, clearing his throat, clearly caught off guard by his older brother’s dare.

“You heard me, prove it,” Bill repeated, his devilish smirk growing as he watched his brother with a mischief glint in his eyes. Charlie shifted uneasily as he glanced at the Slytherin girl next to him. Keira had kept herself busy while the two brothers bickered, removing her soaking wet socks before slipping her shoes back on as she enjoyed the brother’s taunting – it reminded her of her and her own brother so it brought her some sort of comfort. And while she remained oblivious to Charlie’s nervous glance, Bill noticed it and it just fueled his mischievous older brother nature. “Oh… I see… You don’t want Keira to see you naked.”

Charlie’s eyes widened as he felt heat rising to his face – he wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment of anger – before he narrowed his eyes at his brother. Why must he torture him so? Wasn’t it bad enough he had to walk in to find them together in the bath?!

Keira’s head popped up as well when she heard her name, glancing between the two brothers curiously.

“I – I don’t – she doesn’t – I…I…” Charlie had no idea how to respond, stammering unintelligibly. He was so angry at his brother right now putting him in this awkward situation he couldn’t even form coherent sentences! He was going to kill Bill! *insert Kill Bill sirens here*

“You don’t want her to compare your body to mine. Makes sense, seeing how –“

“Stop calling yourself an Adonis,” Charlie shouted in annoyance.

“You’re the one who said you’re more fit than I am. So, let’s see it,” Bill challenged again. “You don’t have to get completely naked, since you clearly have a problem with nudity.”

“I don’t –“

“Knew it. This is why you bathe with your clothes on –“

“It’s a co-ed bathroom with people barging in all the time,” Charlie argued.

“So…like at home,” Bill reasoned.

Charlie huffed and threw the Slytherin another nervous glance. Oh what she must think of him now…

“Do you sing in the bathroom here like you do at home,” Bill asked his brother curiously. Charlie could feel his face growing warmer.

“You sing? I didn’t know you sang!” Keira appeared very excited about this new information.

“Well I uh…” Charlie started sheepishly before Bill answered for him.

“I guess you could call it singing… I wouldn’t but…” Bill teased with a shrug.

“Sing better than you,” Charlie retorted at his brother.

“Fine, you sing better. I look better,” Bill replied with a small smirk.

“You do not look better,” Charlie sighed, rolling his eyes. It had been a lifetime of this, he swore.  

“Then why do you not want to be naked in front of other people,” Bill continued. “Again, that must make it awkward changing for Quidditch –“

“I don’t have a problem dressing in the Quidditch changing room,” Charlie sighed exasperatedly. How long would this conversation go on?

“So you just have a problem being naked in front of women then,” Bill suggested with a smirk, motioning to Keira, causing Charlie’s face to once again heat up – and once again he wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or anger.

Charlie nervously glanced at the Slytherin out of the corner of his eye as she peered up at him curiously, his towel still draped over her shoulders. “I uh… I… I don’t want to make Ady uncomfortable so…”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Keira assured promptly. Bill motioned to the girl as he watched his brother with a cheeky grin. See! She wasn’t uncomfortable! “If it makes you feel more comfortable I can take off my clothes,” Keira offered, reaching up to unbutton her top.

“NO!” Charlie’s hands quickly shot up to catch hers before she could even undo one button – those Seeker skills gave him some fast reflexes. Keira froze and glanced at their hands briefly before looking up at him. A rosiness spread across his cheeks once again as her eyes met his. “No. You don’t have to do that,” he told her, much more calmly this time. He could hear his brother snickering and if she wasn’t there he would leap into that bath and pummel his brother to a bloody pulp.

And he knew she was teasing him just like his brother was but he could never be mad at her for it. He knew she enjoyed teasing her friends and messing with them was her weird way of showing affection. And if his brother wasn’t there he would tease her right back. Of course, when they got into their playful banter around others, particularly Bill, they just got informed it was flirting and supposed sexual tension. Which, after his recent revelation of his feelings, maybe it was?

“Charlie, you’re never going to get a girlfriend if you panic over even the slightest bit of flesh showing,” Bill informed him. Normally Bill never teased Charlie over his relationship status and dating, well aware Charlie had much less interest in dating than the rest of his siblings which they all seemed to understand and accept; however, with Charlie’s newly found awareness of his feelings towards their female Slytherin friend, Bill had begun to, obviously, tease his little brother about it because that’s what older brothers were for.

“I’m being respectful,” Charlie hissed at his brother.

“She’s the one who offered! And she said she wasn’t uncomfortable,” Bill pointed out. Charlie made a frustrated noise that almost sounded like a growl before turning to argue back at his brother.

As the two brothers resumed their bickering, Keira watched them, quite amused, as she gathered up her things. She used Charlie’s towel to squeeze out some water from her hair before folding it back up and slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“Stop trying to turn this back on me when you’re the one who was taking a bath with Keira!”

“It wasn’t like we planned it. And honestly everything was fine until you barged I here ranting and raving like you’re off your trolley.”

“Oh really? How do you think mum would react if I told her what I walked in to see here today,” Charlie challenged Bill with a smug smirk.

“I think she’ll forget all about it and shift her focus onto you when I tell her you’re insecure with your body,” Bill replied.

“I’m not insecure –“

“I know mum, it’s really sad. He can’t even bathe naked. I think he’s going to need all the reassurance and unconditional love from his mum to help him gain some confidence. He keeps comparing himself to me and that’s just not fair –“

“Oh, bugger off!”

“She’ll be too busy stroking your freshly cut hair and telling you how you’re her handsome boy to care about who I’m taking a bath with,” Bill informed him with a smirk.

“Now it just sounds like you’re jealous that mum loves me more,” Charlie retaliated with a smirk.

“Yeah, let’s see how smug you are when mum’s the one joining you in the bath.”

Charlie looked horrified for a moment before quickly sputtering out an angry retort. “I play Quidditch, what the hell do you do all day besides brush your hair a thousand times?! You don’t do anything to stay in shape!”

“I know, it’s all natural. It’s a gift,” Bill replied in fake humility. Charlie groaned out in frustration. How did nothing faze this guy?! It was so frustrating to argue with someone who never got upset.

“Oh shut up you two,” Keira suddenly interrupted, walking over to hand Charlie his towel back. “We all know I’m more fit than both of you.” She thanked Charlie for lending her his towel and apologized for the dampness which he of course assured her was no problem. “And don’t let Will’s delusions of grandeur get to you. You have nothing to be insecure about,” she assured Charlie.

“What delusion? It’s just fact,” Bill replied with a shrug. However, Charlie didn’t hear his brother, fortunately, too heartened by Keira’s words – much better hearing them from her instead of his mum. Instead of hearing his brother’s unrelenting confidence, all he heard was that Keira thought he was fit. Not Bill. Him.

“Don’t drown each other,” Keira instructed as she turned to leave the Prefect’s Bathroom, much calmer than how she entered.

“So I’ll see you Friday for our next bath,” Bill called to her.

“Eight o’clock, sharp,” Keira called back over her shoulder.

“May I suggest wearing less clothing,” Bill started, Keira well aware he was only saying that to torture Charlie more because he normally would never say anything like that to her. And if there was more to that statement she would never know. As she opened the door to leave the Prefect’s Bathroom, Keira heard a loud yell and a large splash behind her as, she assumed, Charlie, finally unable to take it any longer, leapt at his older brother in the bath where, again she assumed, a brotherly brawl commenced. Instead of being a witness to either, or both, of them meeting their watery grave, Keira closed the bathroom door behind her and headed innocently and casually down the hallway.

As she made her way down the hall, away from the Prefect’s Bath, the trail of water she left behind her caused by her soaking wet clothes earned her some very strange looks but she paid them no mind. This story spreading throughout Hogwarts was hardly anything to be concerned about when the Hogwarts’ rumour mill finds out that she, Bill, and Charlie were once again in the Prefect’s Bath together, this time emerging sopping wet. If there were speculations about the three of them going into the Forbidden Forest and Prefect’s Bathroom before, this moment should really stir up some interesting, scandalous gossip.

~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Just a funny idea I had that I quickly typed up (then had to go back and edit some things with newly learned information in regards to Charlie’s bathing habits and that JamCity is aware we all determined that Hogwarts had to be swirling with rumours of the three of them always doing things togethers =p Hope it flows well with the additions). 

Did I have fun torturing Charlie? Yeah, a bit... I love the Weasley family and the relationship between siblings and I love writing these sibling dynamics. And while this was a dumb little idea I had purely for fun and humour, besides the brotherly dynamics, I love demonstrating the relationship between my MC and Bill more. So chill, so accepting, so close, great partners who work together - Keira has probably seen him naked more times than she can count in their like at school and in Egypt and she is completely unfazed by it. 

So hope you enjoyed, hope you laughed. Don’t feel bad if you snickered at poor Charlie being tormented =p Thank you for reading! Feel free to reblog and comment! I love hearing from you guys =)

My Hogwarts Mystery Masterlist

Tag List: @sly-vixen-up2nogood @arnyan @sungoddessra @cinnamoncam @bexeris @urban-eagle @tatlikar @thatbritishcanadiangirl 

(Think that is all? Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the tag list or if I accidentally forgot you - sorry. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a fic... because I have a lot of WIPs but I finally finished one woo!)

[masteryinspiration]

Advanced Digital Marketing Strategies

When I signed up for this class, I thought I had a pretty good handle on digital marketing. After all, I had been working in the industry for a few years and had picked up a lot of useful information along the way. However, this class quickly showed me that there was still a lot left to learn. We dove into topics like SEO, social media marketing, and content marketing, and I quickly realized that there was a lot more to digital marketing that I need to tackle. This class not only taught me new skills and concepts, but it also challenged everything I thought I knew about digital marketing. As a result, I came out of the class with a much better understanding of how to market effectively online. What’s important about what we learned in this class is how beneficial email marketing is. We dunged into the necessary reasons why AB testing is a valuable tool to any brand or business. Lastly we learned how to understand the different types and styles of campaign you can use and why each one is different yet important.

Any business that wants to grow needs to test different marketing campaigns to see which one’s work best. This process is called A/B testing, and it can be used to compare two versions of a campaign to see which one performs better. For example, you could test two different subject lines for an email campaign to see which one gets more people to open the email. A/B testing is a valuable tool because it allows you to make informed decisions about your marketing campaigns based on data, rather than guesswork. Lastly, we learned how to understand the different types and styles of campaigns you can use and why each one is different yet important.

It has been a great privilege to take this course which has given me rich insights into the world of digital marketing. The coursework was carefully designed to provide an overview of digital marketing while also giving me the opportunity to focus on specific areas that need improvement. I feel like I have a well-rounded understanding of digital marketing now and I am confident that I can put this knowledge to good use in my future career. The biggest takeaway from this course for me was the importance of strategic thinking when it comes to planning and executing a successful digital marketing campaign. I am grateful to have had the chance to learn from such knowledgeable and experienced instructors, and I am looking forward to putting what I have learned into practice in the real world. Thank you!

[wineanddinosaur]

VinePair Podcast: Lift Collective Presents a More Inclusive Hospitality Industry‬

On this episode of the “VinePair Podcast,” Adam Teeter and Zach Geballe are joined by Rania Zayyat, founder of “Lift Collective.” The nonprofit organization seeks to change the wine world through promoting thoughtful discussions, mentorship, and opportunities. The three discuss Lift Collective’s recent 2021 Virtual Conference.

Zayyat explains how inclusivity in the hospitality industry is important in establishing a forward-thinking culture. Examples, she says, include treating hospitality workers with more respect, accessible health care, and the acknowledgement of women in the industry. Tune in to hear the three recap the 2021 Lift Collective Virtual Conference.

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Or Check out the Conversation Here

Adam Teeter: From Brooklyn, New York, I’m Adam Teeter.

Zach Geballe: And in Seattle, Wash., I’m Zach Geballe.

A: And this is the “VinePair Podcast.” Zach, next week is April. This is nuts.

Z: We’ve been doing this for a while, and the dilation of time during the pandemic has been real. I’m sure it’s true for you in New York, where you go quickly from being dark all the time to getting lighter and lighter, to Daylight Savings Time. That is a big, weird shift. It’s definitely throwing me off a little bit. The Seattle weather is cooperating, so that’s always nice. We’re doing well here. How are you doing?

A: I’m OK. Just ready for some nice, outdoor, warm-weather hangs, and I’m excited for more people, including myself, to get a shot and move forward. It’s such an interesting time because we’re all thinking, what’s next? There’s still so much happening now. Yeah, I’m really excited to start making Margaritas again.

Z: I can’t believe you stopped.

A: Yeah, I don’t know. I just did. I think I over consumed them in the summer and fall of last year so I took a break. Now, I’m getting back into it. Let’s do this.

Z: Yeah, that’s fair. I haven’t quite hit my spring-summer cocktail groove yet. I’m still drinking Manhattans. That first semi-nice day, I will be all about it. I want to ask you what have you been drinking lately?

A: I actually have been drinking some Margaritas obviously as I said. Besides that, last night, I had a very good beer and now I’m forgetting the name of it, but it’s brewed by Bell’s. It was a session-like version of a juice, citrus-hop- forward IPA. It was absolutely delicious. I almost want to run to my fridge and look at the name of it because I’m embarrassed. It was really, really tasty and I love it. It was 4 percent alcohol. It was nice to have one beer and feel very chill. It also went well with the cheese plate that I put together for dinner because I’m a big fan of a cheese plate once a week for dinner. It’s super easy, so that’s been delicious. Besides that, not a lot, actually.

Z: OK, but we need to have the cheese plate conversation because you brought it up. In your opinion, what is the minimum number of cheeses to call it a cheese plate, and are there any absolutes to have on a cheese plate?

A: The minimum number, I’ve never thought about this before. I’m going to go with three because that’s what I usually have on the plate.

Z: I agree. Three is the bare minimum.

A: I’m not about a grazing board, because that’s all the rage on Instagram where it’s completely full. I like to have some space between the cheese and then usually something super creamy and funky. That’s usually something hard-ish. Anything that can run the gamut. Again, I go by my taste with Naomi’s taste. We like all the same kinds of cheeses, but either a Comté or maybe it’s cheddar or a gouda but something somewhat hard. Then, we move into the blues.

Z: OK, so my blue cheese thing…

A: I know you’re going to say.

Z: Is it butter on blue cheese?

A: You showed me it.

Z: I think that’s right. I have already shared this with you. For our listeners who aren’t familiar, I learned in France that what you get with your cheese plate is you get blue cheese and some butter. It made total sense to me when I tried it, because one of the things about blue cheese that can be really hard for people is that there’s not a lot of remaining fat in blue cheese. The mold consumes a lot of that. You add a little butter to add some richness back in, and it makes a big difference. I’ve converted several blue skeptics with that trick. I’m with you on the cheese board. To me, the only thing that I would say is that I’m a big fan of having one non-cow’s milk cheese at a minimum just for flavor difference.

A: I love a cheese plate, though. It’s a very easy dinner with some really fresh bread. It’s a very delicious thing. It’s no muss, no fuss. I am a big fan of that. But let’s get into today’s discussion.

Z: Let’s do it.

A: Welcome our guest again, Zach.

Z: I will, which is apparently my role on the podcast. But we are super thrilled to be joined again by Rania Zayyat, who is the co-founder of Lift Collective. We’re here mostly to talk about the just-completed Lift Collective Virtual Conference, which both you, Adam, and Rania were participants. Rania, thank you so much for your time.

Rania Zayyat: Hi, thank you so much for having me.

Z: Our pleasure. I want to ask first of all, how did it go?

R: It was better than any of our team could have expected or imagined it to go. Feeling all the feels today and last night, being inspired by the engagement, the attendance, the speakers, the conversations throughout the two days, and conversations that I know and hope will continue to happen within the community post-conference.

A: Very cool. Obviously, I was lucky enough to be able to attend some of the sessions. I thought that the conference as a whole was amazing. It was really cool to watch the conferences. This was obviously virtual, which it had never been before, but I thought it was really cool seeing all of the conversations happening in the chat, which made it even more powerful in a lot of ways. To see how the speakers or panels brought up to the fore issues. Then, watching people react to those issues and share their own experiences. That was really amazing because I know that often happens at conferences, right? There’s a speaker and then people go out of the lecture hall and have their side conversations. To see that happening in real-time, I think was pretty amazing. What have you heard? It hasn’t been 24 hours since the close of the conference but from people who have attended, were there some conversations that were really memorable to you that people were having? Or reactions?

R: To your point about the conversations in the chat, that to me was one of the greatest parts of this event because we never had the intention or idea to do a virtual conference, simply for the fact that we felt it wouldn’t be as engaging. On the contrary, people being able to have those chats while these conversations were happening just would not have been possible at an in-person event because everyone’s silent and we’re listening to the message. To have that going on and to feel the energy that was happening through the chat and the connections and watching people provide resources that dove a little bit deeper, that was so inspiring. I was so pleased with having so many people there who have not felt they’ve had a voice or a safe space in our industry due to all of the issues that we were discussing throughout the conference. People finally felt that here is an event, here is a community where they felt seen, valued, respected, and safe in these conversations. That’s all that we really wanted to do with this event. I’m so grateful that people spoke up about that.

Z: Absolutely. I know that sense of being heard and seen is hugely important. I know that there’s going to be a longer answer here than we could possibly fit on the podcast. As far as takeaways and actionable items coming out of this, are there a few things that came out of either the panel discussions or those side conversations that our listeners can take forward and say, here are things that we can be doing in a concrete sense moving forward. In addition to just making space and listening.

R: I think one of the biggest messages and takeaways is “action.” I think that we have been in a place, especially in the last year in 2020, where it was all about, “OK, we’re going to listen. We’re going to learn. We’re going to read. We’re going to try and figure out how to better understand and be better allies.” Now, the conversation is shifting over to “it’s not enough to just be an ally. We have to be an accomplice.” That was something that came out of the de-colonize wine panel with Jirka, Jahde, and Eti about what we are actually doing? When are we standing up? When we are witness to harm and abuse that’s happening in real time, in a space that we’re in, we can’t sit back and be silent anymore. We can’t provide the excuse that we didn’t have the verbiage or know what to say. If we actually want to show up and continue to do this work, we have to take action. We have to speak up. We have to say something. To me, that is the biggest takeaway of all of this is “yes, it’s a learning opportunity, but are we asking the right questions? Are we putting ourselves in, quote-unquote, uncomfortable situations? Are we getting comfortable with that discomfort? How are we using the unique privilege that we have, which is different for everybody. but how are we using that to stand up for people who don’t necessarily have that same privilege and who experience trauma and harm on a daily basis?”

A: In some of the sessions, I think there was a mixed take on how Covid has impacted people showing up and paying attention to some of the speakers on the panel I was on. It felt as if Covid has made us all pay attention more because we’ve had more time. Then, reactions on other panels I listened to, people paid less attention because they’ve been more focused on what’s happening in their day-to-day life and surviving. However, now that we seem to be coming out of Covid, what do you think is the biggest thing people should be thinking about as they are either going back to work in the industry or going to take part in dining at restaurants where people in the industry work; shopping in wine shops that are more in-person interactions. What are some lessons and rules that we should be taking with us as we go and do that?

R: That’s a big question. I think it’s important that we understand what we don’t understand. Being able to know that we don’t necessarily have all the answers about how we can show up for people but needing to ask those questions. “What do you need?” Dr. Hoby Wedler, one of our speakers this year, is a blind wine professional. He’s mentioned this several times, that we don’t always know how to cater to the needs of others but we can’t make the assumptions of maybe if I do this, then that will be helpful. We just have to say, “Hey, what do you need? How can I best support you.” And being able to just educate ourselves through really intelligent questions is a great way to do that.

Z: I know that the conference obviously focuses on lots of different dimensions of the beverage alcohol industry. We are in this period of time now as the Covid pandemic is not over, but places are starting to reopen fully. People are getting vaccinated. We’re in this period where I think for a lot of people in the hospitality industry, they’re either looking at potentially going back to work for the first time in a year, people who are employers are perhaps hiring. Employment is not the only place where these issues are important, but it’s a huge area where it is a big point of impact, where being conscious of these issues is so important. I’m wondering, was there something to be said about this idea that we’ve had this industry-wide pause, reset? Are there ways to come out of this Covid-related period and make substantive change in the hospitality industry?

R: Yeah, I definitely think this is such a great time because we’ve had such a pause, a long pause. I won’t get into all of the issues with the hospitality industry and protecting workers. There’s a whole set of issues that have needed to be addressed for a while with that. However, this is such a great time to actually start implementing those changes slowly as we’re starting to reopen and set new precedent for what those structures of positions will look like. How can we better protect our employees? Shifting the dynamics of restaurant culture. I think it’s really important to acknowledge that with this event, we put on a code of conduct at the suggestion of Jirka Jireh on our de-colonize wine panel, to say that we have a zero-tolerance policy for these types of violence and discrimination and really setting the tone for creating safe space. This is something that I’ve mentioned before, but zero-tolerance policies are something that we as an industry have not fully adopted yet, particularly at a restaurant because you are engaging with so many different people. Often, there can be this sense of entitlement for guests to come in and either bring their own problems into their dining experience projecting those onto their servers, or feeling like they should get everything that they ask for, even if that’s not what the restaurant typically provides. Then, being able to go out and make public complaints or give a restaurant a low rating, which can really affect the jobs, income, and livelihood of restaurant employees. I think it’s really important that as restaurant owners and managers, that we are setting up systems to protect our employees and to say “the customer is not always right.” We need to say “if there is an issue with the guests, how are we showing up for our employees?” Also, something that Ashtin touched on during her keynote, was that we can only dismantle what we can name, but we often only name things that can be proven through physical proof. If somebody has been violently or physically harmed, we can start to dismantle that, because there’s proof. Other types of harm that occur could be more nuanced or more subtle; we often don’t have the understanding or the verbiage to really start to dissect those behaviors and protect people to show up for them and dismantle those things. I think that’s such an important part of what we can start doing. If you have an employee that comes up to you and says, “This guest made me feel really uncomfortable,” how are we validating those concerns? How are we protecting the people that are showing up and making our restaurant operate on a day-to-day basis? Hopefully, that is something that I would really love to see the hospitality industry start to prioritize as we reopen.

A: I think what you’re saying is really important. I also wonder if it’s as much about all of us — VinePair being important because we’re a media platform — educating the guest as well where this culture of the “customer is always right” is no more. If that’s what you expect as being high-quality service, you’re wrong. High-quality services, meaning that you’re getting a great experience, but you’re also just as respectful to the people who are serving you as they are to you. I believe there’s so much media out there that reinforces that idea. As much as an industry talks about how we need to show up for the people working there, that’s great, but if we’re not also changing the behavior of the guests, then it’s just going to be this one-sided thing. We’re going to continue to show up for the people and say this isn’t OK, but the guest still thinks, “screw you, I’m not going to leave a tip. I’m not going to support a fair wage and I’m going to go leave a bad Yelp review.” Was there any conversation about that? How restaurants can better explain to their guests what’s expected of them? Is it potentially notes on a menu? I hate to say there should be a code of guidelines, but it was pretty amazing in the early aughts, if you will, when the craft cocktail bars were putting out rules. They would say to the guests that you will not approach another table. You will not speak at this level of volume. You will speak to the bartender in a respectful manner. At that point, they were combating against the culture that they were creating bars against, which is the loud, party-bar culture. We should just do that moving forward for everyone. Let guests know when you show up that this is what’s expected of you. Is that something that anyone chatted about, and what’s your reaction to that?

R: I don’t recall that specific conversation coming up in the chat. It might have when I wasn’t fully engaged. I will say that I think that is such an important way to move forward. I live in Austin, and there are a group of restaurants here that are part of an organization that is really working to create long-term change for restaurant culture and hospitality culture. They are providing things such as mental health services to their employees. Those early adopters of these policies are often the ones that can take the biggest financial hit because oftentimes they’re standing alone. If somebody doesn’t like something or the way that they’re being told this behavior is not OK, then it’s easy for a guest to just say, “OK, I’m not going to go back to that place, but I’m going to go somewhere else that can cater to the needs and the demands that I have.” I think it’s important that more of us are getting on this train and are supporting each other through that. I think that it is going to take collective action for these changes to start resonating with guests and diners across the country. We can certainly start small. There are obviously a lot of restaurant groups that are starting to remove tipping culture. We’ve seen that in New York and restaurants here in Austin and I’m sure many other cities. But it’s about providing fair wages. It’s about providing mental health services. It’s about actually naming the actions that we don’t want to accept and don’t want our workers to be subjected to. I think it’s really important that, even if we start small, even if it’s some small thing that we put on our menu saying that we don’t accept this type of treatment or behavior or words, we’re still starting somewhere. The best time to do that is to start today.

Z: Rania, you mentioned a piece of it, and Adam you did, too, that I think is really important. I know you mentioned there wasn’t a ton of conversation specifically about this idea of codes of conduct or ways to inform guests of what is and isn’t allowed. You mentioned, Rania, the central importance of tipping and tip culture to this toxic potential environment, where, because the front-of-house workers in most places, their wages are so tied to tips; tips are at the discretion of the customer and the customer expectations are that they will be indulged in a variety of ways, many of which are, as it turns out, harmful to the service staff. I know when we spoke beforehand that one of the things about having the virtual conference is it allowed for more international participation. Obviously, there are lots of other countries that have strong cultures without tipping or much tipping. Is that something that’s been discussed, or does getting rid of tipping or greatly minimizing its importance disarm some of that power imbalance that we find in restaurants and bars?

R: Yeah, I definitely think that is exactly what it comes down to. It is this power imbalance of who has the power and who feels they can dictate what someone gets to take home at the end of the day or at the end of the week, simply because something wasn’t in line with their expectations. I don’t necessarily think that it’s fully possible to remove tipping in general. Unfortunately, the structure of the restaurant and hospitality industry, I don’t think that we’re prepared to put that burden on restaurants being able to fully compensate all of their staff, because unfortunately, it really is a structural issue with restaurants and the pricing of food. Unfortunately, if we were to build that price into the food, for instance, so that there is maybe more distribution of wages being split between back and front of the house, people would find restaurants to be too expensive. That would ultimately lead to the demise of restaurants in general. I think there are ways around that where you can have automatic gratuity added to that check as a line item. I’ve seen in the Bay Area that there is a 3 percent charge on the tab that supports healthcare for restaurant workers. It’s those types of things that if we get used to seeing them and knowing that is going to be on the bill when we go out to eat, it’s going to really help people understand that this is something that is expected. If you feel you can afford to go out to eat at a restaurant, that means you can afford to pay 20 percent gratuity to the staff.

A: One of the things that Ashtin talked about towards the end of her talk was looking to other industries for examples and what they’ve done. For people who didn’t hear what she had to say, what industries should we be looking to? Obviously, no one’s doing it perfectly, but here are some things that they’ve done. Here are ways that we can borrow what they’ve done and make it better. I know that she was really talking about the bar industry compared to the wine industry, and also looking towards the coffee industry. Are there other places for us to point to that work and we need to adopt it in the world of wine and then in the world of sort of hospitality as a whole?

R: Certainly. She did mention specifically the cocktail industry and coffee. While those are definitely two industries that I’m unfamiliar with, I think that as consumers of those products and even the chocolate industry — I’ll throw that out there as well — I don’t know about anybody else, but when I’m going out and buying coffee or chocolate, I often look for things like Fair Trade Certified or these transparent organizations and initiatives that I know when I’m buying this bar of chocolate or whatever it is, that the people who are harvesting these products are hopefully being fairly compensated and are not in abusive or exploitative environments. They are being treated humanely. There’s been a lot of conversation in recent years and brewing under the surface of exploitation of migrant laborers, vineyard workers, and the unsustainability of harvest in general. Also, a shortage of laborers. I think that there are a lot of people trying to do good things that are starting small, but being able to look at the models those industries had in place for many years and building upon that. I would certainly love to see more collaboration on how we can make those changes a little bit faster and more impactful from the beginning, rather than starting off super small.

Z: Part of the issue with wine, in particular, is that when it comes to this idea of morally or ethically oriented purchasing, people are more fixated on organic agricultural practices and may not be as attuned to the idea that these are also products that do require a lot of labor? I think there’s sometimes a misconception in general with wine, that the wine makes itself. It doesn’t really get talked about as an agricultural product. Is that part of the issue here?

R: Yeah, definitely. This is a storytelling industry, right? There’s so much power in how we tell these stories. Often, we’re starting the story halfway through the process. We start it with harvest. We started with the winemaking process with the winemaker and what’s happening in the winery. We completely leave out all of the work that happens throughout the year to sustain this vine and to grow these grapes. Even after the wine is made, the distribution of that wine and how we’re shipping these things, who is doing that work. We’re leaving out so many fundamental parts of the story. As we begin to shift that narrative and take those conversations into the dining room, when we’re selling wine to guests or even putting them out there on our e-commerce platforms, there’s so much power in shifting the way that we talk about the whole product.

A: It makes a lot of sense. Obviously, there were so many conversations and presentations that happened during the conference. Were there any others for you that really stood out that people who were not able to attend should be aware of?

R: There are so many great things to take away. I think some of my key highlights, aside from what I mentioned earlier about taking action, is during our Shifting Women and Wine Culture panel moderated by Elaine Chukan Brown, we talked about this idea of “womanism” and giving credit to those who actually started these movements. When we look back at the suffragist movement, which was actually started in the 1800s by Black women who unfortunately did not get the right to vote until the 1960s. From there, when gay rights started in the ‘60s and ‘70s, that was actually a movement that was started by the Black trans community. The trans community is still so far behind in receiving the rights, dignity, and humanity that they deserve. Yet, they have carried so much of the burden in starting these movements, but unfortunately are not benefiting from their labor. I think that was a really important topic. Shifting over to the entrepreneurship panel and making space for self-made, moderated by Regine Rousseau. Understanding that there are a lot of barriers to entry for getting funding and understanding how to create a business plan, how to market, and how to use social media to your advantage as a business owner. Once you can figure those things out, utilizing some of the resources that were provided. The power that comes out of being a business owner, being able to advocate for yourself, but also advocate for others. Because you get to start something new, you get to build something from the ground up. You really have full control of saying this is what I’m going to adhere to as a business owner, and this is what I’m not going to adhere to. Being able to create those changes business by business is really important.

Z: Rania, I have one last question for you. This is for people who either were not able to attend or were able to attend some of the sessions: Are there ways to get to view the recordings, to engage with the content, even if they couldn’t be there live in real time?

R: Yeah, I’m so grateful that we were able to record all of the panels. Those will be available to everyone that registered for the conference in having access to those videos. Thankfully, somebody on our team brilliantly collected all the links that were shared throughout the chat that day about other resources and cool initiatives. We’ll be sharing and distributing that information, and will most likely have the conference panels available for viewing to people that weren’t able to register this time to view a little bit later down the road. I do want to throw out one more thing. We were talking about entrepreneurship, how money is power, and being more comfortable with conversations about money. I was so proud that, we were not able to do this in our first year, but we were able to actually pay all of our speakers and moderators this year for the conference. I think that’s a really important thing to mention because as a nonprofit, it is often very hard to gain the funds needed to be able to host an event like this that really greatly impacts the community. Everyone that participated in this conference put in so much time, labor, and preparation to really bring these conversations to life. I’m just really grateful and hopeful that we can continue to do that. Hopefully, other organizations will be able to recognize the importance of actually paying people for this work, because even though it is for a good cause, it’s something so many of us do every single day. It is work, time, emotional labor, and a lot of energy goes into it. There are so many moving parts behind the scenes of running a nonprofit, and a platform that’s been really helpful to us is Melio, because we’ve been able to automate scheduling and receiving all of our payments through our sponsors and speakers that we’re paying without actually having to write and mail physical checks. Yeah, I want to shout out to them. Thank you, Melio for simplifying that process.

A: You actually led me up to my final question. I’m sure you’re already thinking about the conference for next year, but what else is on the horizon for Lift Collective? What are your plans in the next year, and how can people support you?

R: Thank you. There’s a lot that we want to do. I think that one of the things, just based on the conference, is we would really like to formulate some sort of ongoing tool or resource on our website where people can continue to share resources. If that’s related to mental health for industry workers, if that’s for ways to get funding for starting your own business, just mental health support, all those things, we want to be able to build something on our website. We also want to have these conversations more than once a year. We are trying to work out some sort of way that we can continue to host webinars or host these conversations. I think a lot of the topics that we cover could really take up so much more time than we were able to give within that platform. So just being able to really dive deeper into these topics, understand them better, and continue to educate industry workers and consumers about the issues that we’re facing and the adaptability of how we can actually take action.

A: And you’ve got to answer me again. How do they support you?

R: Yes, 501(c)(3) nonprofit. So we do accept donations, which is very, very helpful for us to continue to do these types of programs. Through our website, they can go onto liftcollective.org and click “donate.” They can also support some of the other inspiring initiatives that we have listed on our website. Follow us, engage in the conversations that we’re having, purchase tickets to the conference in the future or any other programs that we’re hosting.

A: Amazing. Rania, thank you so much for your time, for everything that you do for this industry, for the creation of Lift Collective. And to all of your partners, associates, everyone that helped put this conference on and helps this organization exist, we really, really appreciate it. Please keep doing what you’re doing.

R: Thank you so much for hosting me and also for being a big supporter of our organization.

Thanks so much for listening to the “VinePair Podcast.” If you love this show as much as we love making it, then please leave us a rating or review on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever it is you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show.

Now for the credits, VinePair is produced and recorded in New York City and Seattle, Wash., by myself and Zach Geballe, who does all the editing and loves to get the credit. Also, I would love to give a special shoutout to my VinePair co-founder, Josh Malin, for helping make all this possible, and also to Keith Beavers, VinePair’s tasting director, who is additionally a producer on the show. I also want to, of course, thank every other member of the VinePair team who is instrumental in all of the ideas that go into making the show every week. Thanks so much for listening, and we’ll see you again.

The article VinePair Podcast: Lift Collective Presents a More Inclusive Hospitality Industry‬ appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/lift-collective-recap-podcast/

[johnboothus]

VinePair Podcast: Lift Collective Presents a More Inclusive Hospitality Industry

On this episode of the “VinePair Podcast,” Adam Teeter and Zach Geballe are joined by Rania Zayyat, founder of “Lift Collective.” The nonprofit organization seeks to change the wine world through promoting thoughtful discussions, mentorship, and opportunities. The three discuss Lift Collective’s recent 2021 Virtual Conference.

Zayyat explains how inclusivity in the hospitality industry is important in establishing a forward-thinking culture. Examples, she says, include treating hospitality workers with more respect, accessible health care, and the acknowledgement of women in the industry. Tune in to hear the three recap the 2021 Lift Collective Virtual Conference.

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Adam Teeter: From Brooklyn, New York, I’m Adam Teeter.

Zach Geballe: And in Seattle, Wash., I’m Zach Geballe.

A: And this is the “VinePair Podcast.” Zach, next week is April. This is nuts.

Z: We’ve been doing this for a while, and the dilation of time during the pandemic has been real. I’m sure it’s true for you in New York, where you go quickly from being dark all the time to getting lighter and lighter, to Daylight Savings Time. That is a big, weird shift. It’s definitely throwing me off a little bit. The Seattle weather is cooperating, so that’s always nice. We’re doing well here. How are you doing?

A: I’m OK. Just ready for some nice, outdoor, warm-weather hangs, and I’m excited for more people, including myself, to get a shot and move forward. It’s such an interesting time because we’re all thinking, what’s next? There’s still so much happening now. Yeah, I’m really excited to start making Margaritas again.

Z: I can’t believe you stopped.

A: Yeah, I don’t know. I just did. I think I over consumed them in the summer and fall of last year so I took a break. Now, I’m getting back into it. Let’s do this.

Z: Yeah, that’s fair. I haven’t quite hit my spring-summer cocktail groove yet. I’m still drinking Manhattans. That first semi-nice day, I will be all about it. I want to ask you what have you been drinking lately?

A: I actually have been drinking some Margaritas obviously as I said. Besides that, last night, I had a very good beer and now I’m forgetting the name of it, but it’s brewed by Bell’s. It was a session-like version of a juice, citrus-hop- forward IPA. It was absolutely delicious. I almost want to run to my fridge and look at the name of it because I’m embarrassed. It was really, really tasty and I love it. It was 4 percent alcohol. It was nice to have one beer and feel very chill. It also went well with the cheese plate that I put together for dinner because I’m a big fan of a cheese plate once a week for dinner. It’s super easy, so that’s been delicious. Besides that, not a lot, actually.

Z: OK, but we need to have the cheese plate conversation because you brought it up. In your opinion, what is the minimum number of cheeses to call it a cheese plate, and are there any absolutes to have on a cheese plate?

A: The minimum number, I’ve never thought about this before. I’m going to go with three because that’s what I usually have on the plate.

Z: I agree. Three is the bare minimum.

A: I’m not about a grazing board, because that’s all the rage on Instagram where it’s completely full. I like to have some space between the cheese and then usually something super creamy and funky. That’s usually something hard-ish. Anything that can run the gamut. Again, I go by my taste with Naomi’s taste. We like all the same kinds of cheeses, but either a Comté or maybe it’s cheddar or a gouda but something somewhat hard. Then, we move into the blues.

Z: OK, so my blue cheese thing…

A: I know you’re going to say.

Z: Is it butter on blue cheese?

A: You showed me it.

Z: I think that’s right. I have already shared this with you. For our listeners who aren’t familiar, I learned in France that what you get with your cheese plate is you get blue cheese and some butter. It made total sense to me when I tried it, because one of the things about blue cheese that can be really hard for people is that there’s not a lot of remaining fat in blue cheese. The mold consumes a lot of that. You add a little butter to add some richness back in, and it makes a big difference. I’ve converted several blue skeptics with that trick. I’m with you on the cheese board. To me, the only thing that I would say is that I’m a big fan of having one non-cow’s milk cheese at a minimum just for flavor difference.

A: I love a cheese plate, though. It’s a very easy dinner with some really fresh bread. It’s a very delicious thing. It’s no muss, no fuss. I am a big fan of that. But let’s get into today’s discussion.

Z: Let’s do it.

A: Welcome our guest again, Zach.

Z: I will, which is apparently my role on the podcast. But we are super thrilled to be joined again by Rania Zayyat, who is the co-founder of Lift Collective. We’re here mostly to talk about the just-completed Lift Collective Virtual Conference, which both you, Adam, and Rania were participants. Rania, thank you so much for your time.

Rania Zayyat: Hi, thank you so much for having me.

Z: Our pleasure. I want to ask first of all, how did it go?

R: It was better than any of our team could have expected or imagined it to go. Feeling all the feels today and last night, being inspired by the engagement, the attendance, the speakers, the conversations throughout the two days, and conversations that I know and hope will continue to happen within the community post-conference.

A: Very cool. Obviously, I was lucky enough to be able to attend some of the sessions. I thought that the conference as a whole was amazing. It was really cool to watch the conferences. This was obviously virtual, which it had never been before, but I thought it was really cool seeing all of the conversations happening in the chat, which made it even more powerful in a lot of ways. To see how the speakers or panels brought up to the fore issues. Then, watching people react to those issues and share their own experiences. That was really amazing because I know that often happens at conferences, right? There’s a speaker and then people go out of the lecture hall and have their side conversations. To see that happening in real-time, I think was pretty amazing. What have you heard? It hasn’t been 24 hours since the close of the conference but from people who have attended, were there some conversations that were really memorable to you that people were having? Or reactions?

R: To your point about the conversations in the chat, that to me was one of the greatest parts of this event because we never had the intention or idea to do a virtual conference, simply for the fact that we felt it wouldn’t be as engaging. On the contrary, people being able to have those chats while these conversations were happening just would not have been possible at an in-person event because everyone’s silent and we’re listening to the message. To have that going on and to feel the energy that was happening through the chat and the connections and watching people provide resources that dove a little bit deeper, that was so inspiring. I was so pleased with having so many people there who have not felt they’ve had a voice or a safe space in our industry due to all of the issues that we were discussing throughout the conference. People finally felt that here is an event, here is a community where they felt seen, valued, respected, and safe in these conversations. That’s all that we really wanted to do with this event. I’m so grateful that people spoke up about that.

Z: Absolutely. I know that sense of being heard and seen is hugely important. I know that there’s going to be a longer answer here than we could possibly fit on the podcast. As far as takeaways and actionable items coming out of this, are there a few things that came out of either the panel discussions or those side conversations that our listeners can take forward and say, here are things that we can be doing in a concrete sense moving forward. In addition to just making space and listening.

R: I think one of the biggest messages and takeaways is “action.” I think that we have been in a place, especially in the last year in 2020, where it was all about, “OK, we’re going to listen. We’re going to learn. We’re going to read. We’re going to try and figure out how to better understand and be better allies.” Now, the conversation is shifting over to “it’s not enough to just be an ally. We have to be an accomplice.” That was something that came out of the de-colonize wine panel with Jirka, Jahde, and Eti about what we are actually doing? When are we standing up? When we are witness to harm and abuse that’s happening in real time, in a space that we’re in, we can’t sit back and be silent anymore. We can’t provide the excuse that we didn’t have the verbiage or know what to say. If we actually want to show up and continue to do this work, we have to take action. We have to speak up. We have to say something. To me, that is the biggest takeaway of all of this is “yes, it’s a learning opportunity, but are we asking the right questions? Are we putting ourselves in, quote-unquote, uncomfortable situations? Are we getting comfortable with that discomfort? How are we using the unique privilege that we have, which is different for everybody. but how are we using that to stand up for people who don’t necessarily have that same privilege and who experience trauma and harm on a daily basis?”

A: In some of the sessions, I think there was a mixed take on how Covid has impacted people showing up and paying attention to some of the speakers on the panel I was on. It felt as if Covid has made us all pay attention more because we’ve had more time. Then, reactions on other panels I listened to, people paid less attention because they’ve been more focused on what’s happening in their day-to-day life and surviving. However, now that we seem to be coming out of Covid, what do you think is the biggest thing people should be thinking about as they are either going back to work in the industry or going to take part in dining at restaurants where people in the industry work; shopping in wine shops that are more in-person interactions. What are some lessons and rules that we should be taking with us as we go and do that?

R: That’s a big question. I think it’s important that we understand what we don’t understand. Being able to know that we don’t necessarily have all the answers about how we can show up for people but needing to ask those questions. “What do you need?” Dr. Hoby Wedler, one of our speakers this year, is a blind wine professional. He’s mentioned this several times, that we don’t always know how to cater to the needs of others but we can’t make the assumptions of maybe if I do this, then that will be helpful. We just have to say, “Hey, what do you need? How can I best support you.” And being able to just educate ourselves through really intelligent questions is a great way to do that.

Z: I know that the conference obviously focuses on lots of different dimensions of the beverage alcohol industry. We are in this period of time now as the Covid pandemic is not over, but places are starting to reopen fully. People are getting vaccinated. We’re in this period where I think for a lot of people in the hospitality industry, they’re either looking at potentially going back to work for the first time in a year, people who are employers are perhaps hiring. Employment is not the only place where these issues are important, but it’s a huge area where it is a big point of impact, where being conscious of these issues is so important. I’m wondering, was there something to be said about this idea that we’ve had this industry-wide pause, reset? Are there ways to come out of this Covid-related period and make substantive change in the hospitality industry?

R: Yeah, I definitely think this is such a great time because we’ve had such a pause, a long pause. I won’t get into all of the issues with the hospitality industry and protecting workers. There’s a whole set of issues that have needed to be addressed for a while with that. However, this is such a great time to actually start implementing those changes slowly as we’re starting to reopen and set new precedent for what those structures of positions will look like. How can we better protect our employees? Shifting the dynamics of restaurant culture. I think it’s really important to acknowledge that with this event, we put on a code of conduct at the suggestion of Jirka Jireh on our de-colonize wine panel, to say that we have a zero-tolerance policy for these types of violence and discrimination and really setting the tone for creating safe space. This is something that I’ve mentioned before, but zero-tolerance policies are something that we as an industry have not fully adopted yet, particularly at a restaurant because you are engaging with so many different people. Often, there can be this sense of entitlement for guests to come in and either bring their own problems into their dining experience projecting those onto their servers, or feeling like they should get everything that they ask for, even if that’s not what the restaurant typically provides. Then, being able to go out and make public complaints or give a restaurant a low rating, which can really affect the jobs, income, and livelihood of restaurant employees. I think it’s really important that as restaurant owners and managers, that we are setting up systems to protect our employees and to say “the customer is not always right.” We need to say “if there is an issue with the guests, how are we showing up for our employees?” Also, something that Ashtin touched on during her keynote, was that we can only dismantle what we can name, but we often only name things that can be proven through physical proof. If somebody has been violently or physically harmed, we can start to dismantle that, because there’s proof. Other types of harm that occur could be more nuanced or more subtle; we often don’t have the understanding or the verbiage to really start to dissect those behaviors and protect people to show up for them and dismantle those things. I think that’s such an important part of what we can start doing. If you have an employee that comes up to you and says, “This guest made me feel really uncomfortable,” how are we validating those concerns? How are we protecting the people that are showing up and making our restaurant operate on a day-to-day basis? Hopefully, that is something that I would really love to see the hospitality industry start to prioritize as we reopen.

A: I think what you’re saying is really important. I also wonder if it’s as much about all of us — VinePair being important because we’re a media platform — educating the guest as well where this culture of the “customer is always right” is no more. If that’s what you expect as being high-quality service, you’re wrong. High-quality services, meaning that you’re getting a great experience, but you’re also just as respectful to the people who are serving you as they are to you. I believe there’s so much media out there that reinforces that idea. As much as an industry talks about how we need to show up for the people working there, that’s great, but if we’re not also changing the behavior of the guests, then it’s just going to be this one-sided thing. We’re going to continue to show up for the people and say this isn’t OK, but the guest still thinks, “screw you, I’m not going to leave a tip. I’m not going to support a fair wage and I’m going to go leave a bad Yelp review.” Was there any conversation about that? How restaurants can better explain to their guests what’s expected of them? Is it potentially notes on a menu? I hate to say there should be a code of guidelines, but it was pretty amazing in the early aughts, if you will, when the craft cocktail bars were putting out rules. They would say to the guests that you will not approach another table. You will not speak at this level of volume. You will speak to the bartender in a respectful manner. At that point, they were combating against the culture that they were creating bars against, which is the loud, party-bar culture. We should just do that moving forward for everyone. Let guests know when you show up that this is what’s expected of you. Is that something that anyone chatted about, and what’s your reaction to that?

R: I don’t recall that specific conversation coming up in the chat. It might have when I wasn’t fully engaged. I will say that I think that is such an important way to move forward. I live in Austin, and there are a group of restaurants here that are part of an organization that is really working to create long-term change for restaurant culture and hospitality culture. They are providing things such as mental health services to their employees. Those early adopters of these policies are often the ones that can take the biggest financial hit because oftentimes they’re standing alone. If somebody doesn’t like something or the way that they’re being told this behavior is not OK, then it’s easy for a guest to just say, “OK, I’m not going to go back to that place, but I’m going to go somewhere else that can cater to the needs and the demands that I have.” I think it’s important that more of us are getting on this train and are supporting each other through that. I think that it is going to take collective action for these changes to start resonating with guests and diners across the country. We can certainly start small. There are obviously a lot of restaurant groups that are starting to remove tipping culture. We’ve seen that in New York and restaurants here in Austin and I’m sure many other cities. But it’s about providing fair wages. It’s about providing mental health services. It’s about actually naming the actions that we don’t want to accept and don’t want our workers to be subjected to. I think it’s really important that, even if we start small, even if it’s some small thing that we put on our menu saying that we don’t accept this type of treatment or behavior or words, we’re still starting somewhere. The best time to do that is to start today.

Z: Rania, you mentioned a piece of it, and Adam you did, too, that I think is really important. I know you mentioned there wasn’t a ton of conversation specifically about this idea of codes of conduct or ways to inform guests of what is and isn’t allowed. You mentioned, Rania, the central importance of tipping and tip culture to this toxic potential environment, where, because the front-of-house workers in most places, their wages are so tied to tips; tips are at the discretion of the customer and the customer expectations are that they will be indulged in a variety of ways, many of which are, as it turns out, harmful to the service staff. I know when we spoke beforehand that one of the things about having the virtual conference is it allowed for more international participation. Obviously, there are lots of other countries that have strong cultures without tipping or much tipping. Is that something that’s been discussed, or does getting rid of tipping or greatly minimizing its importance disarm some of that power imbalance that we find in restaurants and bars?

R: Yeah, I definitely think that is exactly what it comes down to. It is this power imbalance of who has the power and who feels they can dictate what someone gets to take home at the end of the day or at the end of the week, simply because something wasn’t in line with their expectations. I don’t necessarily think that it’s fully possible to remove tipping in general. Unfortunately, the structure of the restaurant and hospitality industry, I don’t think that we’re prepared to put that burden on restaurants being able to fully compensate all of their staff, because unfortunately, it really is a structural issue with restaurants and the pricing of food. Unfortunately, if we were to build that price into the food, for instance, so that there is maybe more distribution of wages being split between back and front of the house, people would find restaurants to be too expensive. That would ultimately lead to the demise of restaurants in general. I think there are ways around that where you can have automatic gratuity added to that check as a line item. I’ve seen in the Bay Area that there is a 3 percent charge on the tab that supports healthcare for restaurant workers. It’s those types of things that if we get used to seeing them and knowing that is going to be on the bill when we go out to eat, it’s going to really help people understand that this is something that is expected. If you feel you can afford to go out to eat at a restaurant, that means you can afford to pay 20 percent gratuity to the staff.

A: One of the things that Ashtin talked about towards the end of her talk was looking to other industries for examples and what they’ve done. For people who didn’t hear what she had to say, what industries should we be looking to? Obviously, no one’s doing it perfectly, but here are some things that they’ve done. Here are ways that we can borrow what they’ve done and make it better. I know that she was really talking about the bar industry compared to the wine industry, and also looking towards the coffee industry. Are there other places for us to point to that work and we need to adopt it in the world of wine and then in the world of sort of hospitality as a whole?

R: Certainly. She did mention specifically the cocktail industry and coffee. While those are definitely two industries that I’m unfamiliar with, I think that as consumers of those products and even the chocolate industry — I’ll throw that out there as well — I don’t know about anybody else, but when I’m going out and buying coffee or chocolate, I often look for things like Fair Trade Certified or these transparent organizations and initiatives that I know when I’m buying this bar of chocolate or whatever it is, that the people who are harvesting these products are hopefully being fairly compensated and are not in abusive or exploitative environments. They are being treated humanely. There’s been a lot of conversation in recent years and brewing under the surface of exploitation of migrant laborers, vineyard workers, and the unsustainability of harvest in general. Also, a shortage of laborers. I think that there are a lot of people trying to do good things that are starting small, but being able to look at the models those industries had in place for many years and building upon that. I would certainly love to see more collaboration on how we can make those changes a little bit faster and more impactful from the beginning, rather than starting off super small.

Z: Part of the issue with wine, in particular, is that when it comes to this idea of morally or ethically oriented purchasing, people are more fixated on organic agricultural practices and may not be as attuned to the idea that these are also products that do require a lot of labor? I think there’s sometimes a misconception in general with wine, that the wine makes itself. It doesn’t really get talked about as an agricultural product. Is that part of the issue here?

R: Yeah, definitely. This is a storytelling industry, right? There’s so much power in how we tell these stories. Often, we’re starting the story halfway through the process. We start it with harvest. We started with the winemaking process with the winemaker and what’s happening in the winery. We completely leave out all of the work that happens throughout the year to sustain this vine and to grow these grapes. Even after the wine is made, the distribution of that wine and how we’re shipping these things, who is doing that work. We’re leaving out so many fundamental parts of the story. As we begin to shift that narrative and take those conversations into the dining room, when we’re selling wine to guests or even putting them out there on our e-commerce platforms, there’s so much power in shifting the way that we talk about the whole product.

A: It makes a lot of sense. Obviously, there were so many conversations and presentations that happened during the conference. Were there any others for you that really stood out that people who were not able to attend should be aware of?

R: There are so many great things to take away. I think some of my key highlights, aside from what I mentioned earlier about taking action, is during our Shifting Women and Wine Culture panel moderated by Elaine Chukan Brown, we talked about this idea of “womanism” and giving credit to those who actually started these movements. When we look back at the suffragist movement, which was actually started in the 1800s by Black women who unfortunately did not get the right to vote until the 1960s. From there, when gay rights started in the ‘60s and ‘70s, that was actually a movement that was started by the Black trans community. The trans community is still so far behind in receiving the rights, dignity, and humanity that they deserve. Yet, they have carried so much of the burden in starting these movements, but unfortunately are not benefiting from their labor. I think that was a really important topic. Shifting over to the entrepreneurship panel and making space for self-made, moderated by Regine Rousseau. Understanding that there are a lot of barriers to entry for getting funding and understanding how to create a business plan, how to market, and how to use social media to your advantage as a business owner. Once you can figure those things out, utilizing some of the resources that were provided. The power that comes out of being a business owner, being able to advocate for yourself, but also advocate for others. Because you get to start something new, you get to build something from the ground up. You really have full control of saying this is what I’m going to adhere to as a business owner, and this is what I’m not going to adhere to. Being able to create those changes business by business is really important.

Z: Rania, I have one last question for you. This is for people who either were not able to attend or were able to attend some of the sessions: Are there ways to get to view the recordings, to engage with the content, even if they couldn’t be there live in real time?

R: Yeah, I’m so grateful that we were able to record all of the panels. Those will be available to everyone that registered for the conference in having access to those videos. Thankfully, somebody on our team brilliantly collected all the links that were shared throughout the chat that day about other resources and cool initiatives. We’ll be sharing and distributing that information, and will most likely have the conference panels available for viewing to people that weren’t able to register this time to view a little bit later down the road. I do want to throw out one more thing. We were talking about entrepreneurship, how money is power, and being more comfortable with conversations about money. I was so proud that, we were not able to do this in our first year, but we were able to actually pay all of our speakers and moderators this year for the conference. I think that’s a really important thing to mention because as a nonprofit, it is often very hard to gain the funds needed to be able to host an event like this that really greatly impacts the community. Everyone that participated in this conference put in so much time, labor, and preparation to really bring these conversations to life. I’m just really grateful and hopeful that we can continue to do that. Hopefully, other organizations will be able to recognize the importance of actually paying people for this work, because even though it is for a good cause, it’s something so many of us do every single day. It is work, time, emotional labor, and a lot of energy goes into it. There are so many moving parts behind the scenes of running a nonprofit, and a platform that’s been really helpful to us is Melio, because we’ve been able to automate scheduling and receiving all of our payments through our sponsors and speakers that we’re paying without actually having to write and mail physical checks. Yeah, I want to shout out to them. Thank you, Melio for simplifying that process.

A: You actually led me up to my final question. I’m sure you’re already thinking about the conference for next year, but what else is on the horizon for Lift Collective? What are your plans in the next year, and how can people support you?

R: Thank you. There’s a lot that we want to do. I think that one of the things, just based on the conference, is we would really like to formulate some sort of ongoing tool or resource on our website where people can continue to share resources. If that’s related to mental health for industry workers, if that’s for ways to get funding for starting your own business, just mental health support, all those things, we want to be able to build something on our website. We also want to have these conversations more than once a year. We are trying to work out some sort of way that we can continue to host webinars or host these conversations. I think a lot of the topics that we cover could really take up so much more time than we were able to give within that platform. So just being able to really dive deeper into these topics, understand them better, and continue to educate industry workers and consumers about the issues that we’re facing and the adaptability of how we can actually take action.

A: And you’ve got to answer me again. How do they support you?

R: Yes, 501(c)(3) nonprofit. So we do accept donations, which is very, very helpful for us to continue to do these types of programs. Through our website, they can go onto liftcollective.org and click “donate.” They can also support some of the other inspiring initiatives that we have listed on our website. Follow us, engage in the conversations that we’re having, purchase tickets to the conference in the future or any other programs that we’re hosting.

A: Amazing. Rania, thank you so much for your time, for everything that you do for this industry, for the creation of Lift Collective. And to all of your partners, associates, everyone that helped put this conference on and helps this organization exist, we really, really appreciate it. Please keep doing what you’re doing.

R: Thank you so much for hosting me and also for being a big supporter of our organization.

Thanks so much for listening to the “VinePair Podcast.” If you love this show as much as we love making it, then please leave us a rating or review on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever it is you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show.

Now for the credits, VinePair is produced and recorded in New York City and Seattle, Wash., by myself and Zach Geballe, who does all the editing and loves to get the credit. Also, I would love to give a special shoutout to my VinePair co-founder, Josh Malin, for helping make all this possible, and also to Keith Beavers, VinePair’s tasting director, who is additionally a producer on the show. I also want to, of course, thank every other member of the VinePair team who is instrumental in all of the ideas that go into making the show every week. Thanks so much for listening, and we’ll see you again.

The article VinePair Podcast: Lift Collective Presents a More Inclusive Hospitality Industry‬ appeared first on VinePair.

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source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/vinepair-podcast-lift-collective-presents-a-more-inclusive-hospitality-industry

[arplis]

Arplis - News: Arlyns Warm (& Sort of Last-Minute DIYed) Holiday Reveal

Spoiler alert: This starts sad, but I promise a happy endingjust like your favorite Hallmark movie. Yes, its a post about decorating for Christmas, but its a bit of a journey (and your prize for sticking around is seven tips for a pretty holiday look without a ton of planningnext to a cash reward, what more could you want, hm?).

Before moving to LA, I had a long-standing Christmas tradition that involved a sleepover at my place with my twin nephews. Wed go buy a fresh tree, head to Target to pick out their yearly ornaments (and okay, I usually caved and bought them several when they couldnt pickauntie privilege), and settle in for the night with a big ol cheese pizza and tons of candy to decorate and watch holiday movies. When I left Florida, my absolute favorite weekend of the year stayed behind along with my family, and frankly, I didnt feel festive enough last year to decorate. Sure, I bought a tree and then proceeded to cry my way through placing all the memories from years past on it (like I said, no this whole post wont be one giant Joni Mitchell River-esque depressing monologue). But, its been almost two years, and I realized that it was time to start making some new traditions, starting with proper decorations to set the scene for the season.

By proper, I mean nothing more than something that actually brought me joy. In my last home, I didnt care even the tiniest bit about my Christmas aesthetic. Id throw around scraggly bows, dangle strange garlands in places that would inevitably fall off (left unfixed until January). While I appreciate a classic, kitschy look, this didnt make me happy. Looking back, it was a lot like the holiday aisle at Big Lots come December 26sparse, random and nowhere I wanted to be. BUT THIS YEAR IS DIFFERENT. Guys, I really actually tried, and whoa, I love coming home. I get so jazzed to know Ill walk through that door after work to all the fairy lights on (thanks, timers) and all I need to do is light my pine-scented candles.

When I first discussed decorating and shooting my place for the blog, I told Emily I would take the more last-minute DIY angle for this story, except, ha, I should know myself better than to think Im a DIY person (have I talked about the unfinished dining chairs sitting in a corner of my master bedroom enough times for you to understand the stakes here?). Im more of an early minute buying personif we can all agree thats the opposite of last-minute DIY, but dont worry Emily, I pulled out a few stops even for me to salvage this story. Really, though, its an excuse to show you guys my living and dining rooms again, this time just festooned for Christmas using nearly everything Target, because those guys have affordable holiday decor on lock.

Aside from what I bought, there were a few things I planned on doing going into this: dried oranges for garland and ornaments, and the addition of real greenery to anything faux for a lusher more natural look, but more on that in just a bit when we get there. Lets start in the living room:

Creating a Christmas Couch With Simple Textile Swaps

Swapping out textiles seasonally always felt to me like the equivalent of womens magazines telling me when I was younger that Id be going from day to night far more often than I ever have (never). Who was really doing this? Sure, my mom would throw a random Christmas pillow on the sofa when I was younger, but a full swap was absolutely something Id NEVER consider doing. Except well, for the sake of this shoot, I did it, and guess what. IM OBSESSED WITH IT. Dont knock it til you try it.

I left one of my everyday pillows out because it played well with everything else, but Im half tempted to never actually switch them back. Im officially living the cozy life and DONT MAKE ME GO BACK. But seriously, seeing that Fa la la pillow and those little gold embroidered Christmas trees fill my heart with childlike wonder and joy and Im now a winter textiles swap person (once I figure out a more permanent solution than throwing my year-round pillows and blanket in the guest bedroom).

Neutral Tree + Homemade Goodies

The (Christmas-celebrating) world is divided into two subsects: those who take no issue with faux trees, and those that choose to torture themselves with a real evergreen. I am the latter. Every year, when it comes time to recycle this baby, I curse myself for the massacre of needles. But alas, I cant be stopped and I will always opt for a real tree. This is a noble fir that I picked up at Lowes and it has that gappy vibe everyone is into right now. I like how you can load up a branch front to back and things dangle so nicely, sparkling and dazzling in the twinkle lights.

As for the decor, this is actually the first year in a long time I went with white lights. Ive always been a colored-lights just throw crazy stuff up on the tree and call it a day girl (correction: let your small nephews throw crazy stuff up on the tree and call it a day). Someone once asked me if I changed my trees color motif every year and Im pretty sure I rudely laughed in their face before I realized they were serious. No. I am not that person. This is why this year, once I realized that oh wait, people will be seeing my home and I needed to try, I opted to go for something a little more neutral so I could build on it over time. I also had a box full of handmade and drawn ornaments from my nephews that I needed to be sure made it up on those branches (see the paper and crayon snowman, for example). Theres enough going on in my apartment that something a little more minimal didnt make me want to crawl out of my skin a week into the merriment.

Because I wanted some color, I thought to do what evidently everyone else on the internet also thought to do this year: dried oranges as ornaments. I definitely did not get the mailer that must have gone around to tell everyone this was the look of 2019, but regardless, I love it. Some string (in a white and red becauseChristmas), a bag of small oranges and a few hours to dry them out in the oven (Erin from Francois et Moi has a great tutorial here) and boom, I supplemented my tree for about$4. LAST-MINUTE DECORATING LIFE HACK. Put dried oranges on just about everything and you have an instant holiday lewk that feels warm, unpretentious, welcoming and a wee-bit British (i.e. all I ever want to feel).

Some of my favorite ornaments I scooped up this year with my nephews top of mind: the sloth, the fabric Santa, the clip-on glittery birds, and the ceramic turtle doves (I promptly forced my husband Charles to sit and listen to why I got those to represent our undying love). Oh goodness, and I cant move on before discussing that Cookies For Santa plate and milk jug. No, there are no children in my house, but when I saw it, I knew I needed to hoard it for the day that there are because every year my sister runs around trying to find something to put cookies and milk in and it always ends up being an awkward mini loaf pan or something and this feels like a pat yourself on the back for planning ahead moment that I wanted to put on display.

Mix Real + Faux

HOT TIP: Faux garland is so great for using year after year and traditionally, I used to think it looked very fake, but Target has some good stuff. I went with their faux white pine and berries strand here and over the archway and Im so happy with them. This one is 72, so, maybe dont be like me and instead measure before you figure out how much of something you need. I ended up with about 8 inches of bare mantel and had to guinea rig a solution. The left side there, by the candlesticks, is actually a piece of faux greenery also from Target in the same color/finish that I added to the end and BOOM, fixed.

Once I put the eucalyptus wreath on the door, however, I realized it was much cooler in tone than the garland and side by side, they looked a little jarring. My solution? Get some actual eucalyptus (I had some leftover from my Thanksgiving tablescape) and shove in pieces of it about every 6 inches or so. This accomplished two things for me: it married the color/style gap between the wreath and the garland, but it also brought some life to the faux-ness. (Again, this stuff is good, so it doesnt NEED it, it was just a visual preference for me).

Can we talk about the cutest stocking? Growing up in Florida, a land devoid of mantels and fireplaces for obvious reasons, we were not a stocking family. Every now and then, my mom might tie some to the stair banister, but they were never full of anything. Well folks, thats over. I live in LA now, a land with NON-FUNCTIONING fireplaces, but fireplaces nonetheless. LA is all about illusions after all, so as long as it looks like a fireplace, thats all that matters, right? Throw some fairy lights in, no problem (and maybe light some candlesI used these candlesticks from Targetif youre brave and attentive for that real fire feel). This knit guy with the poms is maybe my favorite thing I got this year but HEAVY (hence the nutcracker on top of the stocking holder for that oneI have a little cut-out in the molding that meant less stability, but itll probably be fine if you have a normal 90-degree angle on your mantel).

And, in one of my favorite last-minute moves to use up random leftovers of things, I took some ribbon I had bought for my gift wrap, tied a little piece into a bow and velcroed it to this art piece. Dressing up your artwork can be SO fun for holidays (remember Emilys googly eyes over that oil portrait?). Its so unexpected, costs basically nothing and will get everyones attention, I promise.

Sprinkle Christmas Cheer Throughout Other Vignettes

This whole post should be titled Never Underestimate the Holiday Styling Power of the Bottle Brush Tree because if you look closely enough, there is absolutely one in nearly every shot angle of my home. I threw some on my console table, on a side table, on my coffee table, on my TV standand just WAIT until you get to the dining room. Bottle brush tree galore! They are very affordable and if you dont mind glitter sprouting from nearly everywhere until the end of time, theyre almost all you need to fill in your home with some Christmas spirit outside of the big moments (tree, fireplace). Same goes for leftover ornaments, pieces of greenery (such as free scraps from the tree lot), and super budget-friendly figurines, like these reindeer that make me so happy.

That blonde wood bowl is VERY good guys, and I will absolutely be leaving it out year-round, but for now, it screamed FILL ME WITH JINGLE BELLS so I had to oblige. These are 2-inch bells and honestly just so dang fun. Put them in a vase or bowl but save a few to sprinkle throughout other vignettes (or on a gift!).

The last moment I threw together in this room was the bench by my window. I moved the rust-colored velvet cushion into the guest bedroom (which honestly, I treat like a storage unit, so I know this is not a universal solution) and draped my sheepskin pelt a little asymmetrically. I gotta say, Im quite proud that this placement was my first go at it. The less fussing you do sometimes, the more effortless things look. I over-ordered pillows for my sofa, but thank goodness, because they worked great on here. The green pillow with the poms is SO cute and you might not see it here, but it has these little wood beads at the base of the pom pom which makes it extra special.

Alright, lets move this party into the dining roomafter you.

Accentuate Your Architecture

Ever since I saw Ginnys garland-bedecked archway into her dining room, I dreamed of being able to do the same thing. So when I stepped foot into this apartment for the first time, I instantly knew it would fulfill my greenery-over-archway dreams. This is three pieces of faux garland, hung with some small nails I dug out of an IKEA art hanging kit. Because of my 100-year-old plastered and heavily textured walls, Command hooks simply laughed the THREE times I tried themin three different sizes and configurations (both the laughter and hook type). I finally gave up and went to get the hammer. Cant wait to patch those holes come January, trulythough worth it to me.

Implement a Big Holiday Moment (Thats Actually Really Easy)

Over on the console, I went for a sort of kind of holiday village. It was my initial vision to do a jam-packed Christmas village here, so I bought what felt like hundreds of trees and houses, and then I put them all down and the credenza ATE it. It was like starting with a pan full of fresh spinach and ending up with 2 tablespoons of cooked spinach. My dreams were dashed and I came up with plan B: mix in everyday things with some holiday feels and pretend it was your plan all along. Im actually very happy with it and dont think I havent sat at my dining table some mornings and nights just looking over here with a twinkle in my eye and sugar plums dancing in my head. When you boil it down, its really just three new vignettes: the two bottle brush trees + seasonal candle (above), a footed bowl with some leftover greenery and bottle brush trees (below) and ceramic houses with some fairy lights shoved up into them on top of books which were already there (photo after next). Oh, and some oranges from the grocery store because #theme.

My favorite thing about this whole scene is probably those beautiful wreaths hanging by velvet ribbon over the windows. I LOVE a wreath-over-window (or, as youll see, mirror) moment and two windows meant I had two chances to do it in this room. Quickly: Im very much obsessed with this wreath. It looks so high-end with the dangling brass bells and it matches the garland in the living room, so both spaces speak to each other.

Over on the bar, my vintage gilded mirror called for another ribbon-hung wreath, but I went for the faux cypress leaf version instead to keep things more minimal. The addition of some new brass barware (the Project 62 line looks really good, folks) and a few bottle brush trees and voila, my holiday bar.

When In Doubt, Keep It Simple (For Real)

When it came to what to do on my table, this was REALLY a last-minute DIY situation because I had no idea (which is typically the case with my table). The day before this shoot, Emily texted me that she had some leftover garland at her house from her shoot, and I could come grab some if I wanted. So grab it I did, not knowing what I planned on doing with it, but I ended up throwing it on the table just to think and when I finally came to, I realized it was exactly where it belonged. I pulled out my kitchen sheers because I do not have clippers (apartment living), trimmed it to size and pulled out some small, cheap glass votives I had in my cabinets already to make things moody. AND THEN, I had some extra oranges from my tree ornaments and I just scattered some throughout to connect both rooms visually.

But wait, theres more. At the last minute (okay, the night before), I wanted to give the room more of a casual party vibe and wanted a dessert set up, so I ran out to Ralphs with the intention of making something with the zero minutes I had left in my life to whip up a baked good and found a pre-made bundt cake instead. A simple glaze (though Im sure you could find one glazed already), some cranberries I rolled in sugar, and a smattering of fresh sage leaves is all I needed to fool Sara into thinking I had actually made this when she made it over to shoot. SEMI HOMEMADE TRICKERY.

I will most certainly be doing this again in the future, and if you do, as well, everyone will think youre a domestic goddess. Set out some cute appetizer or dessert plates (these from the Hearth & Home with Magnolia are super cute with festive sayings on them that are subtle but still fun), flatware and napkins, and with very little effort, you just became the hostess with the mostest time to actually blow dry your hair before people show up.

And thus ends my holiday dissertation. It started out bleak, but I promised it would end on a high note, and theres no higher note than being pulled together enough to maybe put some curls in your hair (at least for me).

I rounded up ALL the goods I got from Target below in a few groupings, and yes, at the end of the season, you might find this stuff is sold out either in-store or online, so for that Im SO sorry, but ALWAYS check your local stores because they restock or people make returns and you might just find what youre looking for. Oh, and for a few more exclusive tips, I wanted to share the story Ruemag.com featured of my home as well, so check that out if youre interested. Thanks for stopping by and the happiest of holidays and the merriest of Christmases to you all.

1. Wooden Ornaments Set of 3 | 2. 28 LED Battery Operated Wreath | 3. Lit Up House Ceramic Christmas Ornament | 4. 13 Lit Gold Metal and Capiz Star | 5. 3ct Glass Christmas Ornaments Set Birds | 6. 72 Faux White Pine Garland with Berry | 7. 8ct Glitter Pine Cone Ornament Set | 8. Green with White & Gold Wreath Gift Wrap Roll | 9. 40ct Shatter Resistant Veranda Ornament Set | 10. Fabric Santa White Ornament | 11. Embroidered Tree Skirt | 12. Ceramic Birds Ornament | 13. Sloth Ornament Ornament | 14. Artificial Cedar Stem w/ Pine Cones | 15. Cream w/ Black Swiss Dot Gift Wrap Roll | 16. Faux Leaf Ball Ornament | 17. Truck with Bottle Brush Tree Ornament | 18. Philips 300ct Incandescent Mini String Lights

1. Large Gold Glitter Christmas Tree | 2. Christmas Nutcracker Figurine Gold | 3. Knit Square Throw Pillow with Corner Poms | 4. Holiday Stocking Sour Cream Knot with Red Poms | 5. Milk & Cookies Stoneware Set | 6. Small Gold Glitter Christmas Tree | 7. Wooden Oval Bowl with Handles | 8. 2 16pc Jingle Bells Vase Filler | 9. Cream Faux Fur Oversized Throw Pillow | 10. Embroidered Trees Velvet Throw Pillow | 11. Holiday Stocking Green Stripe | 12. 3pc Taper Candle Holder Set | 13. Texture Faux Fur Throw Blanket | 14. 3pc Mini Deer Figurines | 15. 10 12pk Unscented Taper Candle Set | 16. 2pk Basic Stocking Holder | 17. Large Mercury Glass Christmas Tree | 18. Fa la la Velvet Oversize Lumbar | 19. Clear Glass Vase Large | 20. Channeled Faux Fur Throw Pillow | 21. 4pc Green Flocked Bottle Brush Trees | 22. Large Bottle Brush Tree | 23. Philips 50ct Battery Operated LED Dewdrop Lights | 24. Small Ceramic House

1. 24 Faux White Pine Wreath with Metal Bell | 2. Set of 4 Linen Napkins | 3. 3pc Bottlebrush Trees | 4. Stainless Steel Cocktail Strainer | 5. 4pc Bottle Brush Christmas Tree Set | 6. Stainless Steel Cocktail Stirrer Spoon | 7. Ceramic House Figurines | 8. 5pc Stainless Steel Kayden Silverware Set | 9. 4ct Seasonal Appetizer Plates | 10. Oblong Brass Footed Bowl Gold | 11. 4pk Napkin Set Green | 12. 18 Faux Cedar Wreath | 13. Dew Drop LED Lights w/ Copper Wire | 14. Bottle Brush Tree with Wood Stand | 15. 2.5oz Stainless Steel Double Jigger

***photography by Sara Ligorria-Tramp, design and styling by Arlyn Hernandez

The post Arlyns Warm (& Sort of Last-Minute DIYed) Holiday Reveal appeared first on Emily Henderson.

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Tees Quotes

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• A good friend of mine took me out and had me hit off a tee. He made me understand what was my strike zone and – with my speed – the importance of making contact. So I give him a lot of credit for changing my game and making me the player I became. He showed me how to work on me and my game, and not worry about patterning myself after someone else and focusing on what they were capable of doing rather than what I was capable of doing. – Rickey Henderson • A straight factor is important in any comedy, because you need something to tee it up and also to ground it. – Jason Bateman • Aggression is part of the masculine design, we are hardwired for it…. Little girls do not invent games where large numbers of people die, where bloodshed is a prerequisite for having fun. Hockey, for example, was not a feminine creation. Nor was boxing. A boy wants to attack something – and so does a man, even if it’s only a little white ball on a tee. – John Eldredge • Also, of course, I need my Dove soap. Of course I need my cocoa butter. I need my Listerine. I need the white Jockey tees. They are really soft and comfortable. – DJ Khaled • And what do the birds say? All there is to say about a massacre, things like “Poo-tee-weet? – Kurt Vonnegut • Are you all right?” “Oh my god! I phased!” “Are you all right?” “Are you?” “It was strange.” “I can’t believe I phased just then! That’s never…it was totally your fault.” “I like to think so, yes.” “Tee hee. – Joss Whedon • At home, a T-shirt and something loose like harem pants would do. If I’m stepping out, a pair of blue jeans and a white tee are just fine. – Genelia D’Souza

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Tee', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_tee').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_tee img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Bob Hope has a beautiful short game. Unfortunately, it’s off the tee. – Jimmy Demaret • But just like I’ve always said when people complain about tee times, ‘I just want a tee time. Just give me one so I can play. – David Duval • But the bottom line is, no matter what, even if I shoot 90 tomorrow, I’m going to enjoy it. Maybe people will say “Oh, he blew it” or whatever. Maybe I’m going to blow it, it’s the first time I’ve ever been there. What do you expect? You know I’m not number one in the world. My knees are going to touch each other on the first tee tomorrow. But let me tell you, I’m going to enjoy it. – Jean van de Velde • Control is the main thing, and the tee shot is the most important shot in golf. You’ve got to hit the fairway before you have a good chance of putting the ball close to the pin. You can be the greatest iron player in the world, but if you’re in the boondocks it won’t do you any good. – Ben Hogan • Courses that you’ve had success on, all of a sudden your game turns around because you feel comfortable on your tee shots, you feel comfortable going to the greens, you know, all the reads on the putts. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe, but it’s certainly one that you get filled up with confidence more than anything else. – Tiger Woods • Edward Abbey said you must brew your own beer; kick in you Tee Vee; kill your own beef; build your cabin and piss off the front porch whenever you bloody well feel like it. I already had a good start. As a teenager in rural Maine, after we came to America, I had learned hunting, fishing, and trapping in the wilderness. My Maine mentors had long ago taught me to make home brew. I owned a rifle, and I’d already built a log cabin. The rest should be easy. I thought I’d give it a shot. – Bernd Heinrich • Elmcrest CC, in Cedar Rapids, is where it all started when I was growing up. The tree-lined course has a very demanding layout that requires you to be accurate off the tee and avoid a number of well-placed water hazards on some of the holes. – Zach Johnson • Every golfer can expect to have four bad shots in a round and when you do, just put them out of your mind. This, of course is hard to do when you’ve had them and you’re not even off the first tee. – Walter Hagen • Every golfer should come to the first tee with fourteen clubs, a dozen balls, a handful of tees, and at least one great golf story – Lee Trevino • Everything was fine until I walked on to the first tee! – Seve Ballesteros • Fighting is like life. You can do everything to a tee. You can show up and fail. That’s no reason to quit. – Frank Mir • Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags. – Bob Hope • Get a good jean, a good tee, a good whatever because you can just switch that stuff up and you have like 8,000 different outfits with a few things. – Zendaya • Golf is a stupid game. You tee up this little ball, really this tiny ball. Then you hit it, try to find it, hit it. And the goal is to get it into a little hole placed in a hard spot. – Juli Inkster • Has anyone ever won an argument with you? (Syd) Just Tee, and I was drunk and wounded at the time. (Joe) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • He [Daniel Craig] is mysterious, and I think that that’s the thing Bond has to exude, that kind of mysterious edge. He draws you in, but he is also incredibly cool, you know, James Bond is cool and sharp and Daniel has that to a tee, and he’s also got the rawness and an edginess to him that is slightly unhinged, and you’re not sure what is going on there, and I think that is really intriguing and interesting. It is a lot weightier and gritty, and he has that. – Gemma Arterton • He’s wearing boots, a kilt, and a long-sleeve tee. No coat, even though it’s December. Beautiful people don’t need coats. They’ve got their auras to keep them warm. – Jennifer Donnelly • Hole in One: an occurence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole in a single shot by a golfer playing alone. – Henry Beard • How to Overthrow the System: brew your own beer; kick in your Tee Vee; kill your own beef; build your own cabin and piss off the front porch whenever you bloody well feel like it. – Edward Abbey • I also taught myself how to blow glass using a propane torch from the hardware store and managed to make some elementary chemistry plumbing such as tees and small glass bulbs. – Robert B. Laughlin • I am always looking for a cool tee shirt; maybe one with a rock band or an old advertisement. – Bridget Hall • I call my putter ‘Sweet Charity’ because it covers such a multitude of sins from tee to green. – Gardner Dickinson • I can wear a suit, sweatpants, a long tee shirt, and a denim jacket all at the same time. – Tinie Tempah • I could get you to smile like that, and without sales tax.” I whirled around to find the real Patch standing in the fitting room behind me. He was wearing jeans and a snug white tee. His arms were folded loosely over his chest, and his black eyes smiled down at me. Heat that wasn’t entirely uncomfortable flushed through my body. “I could make all kinds of pervert jokes right now,” I quipped. – Becca Fitzpatrick • I do know how to operate a computer. (Joe) Yeah, right. What was it you said just ten minutes ago? Get this damned thing off my desk before I shoot it? Now make the call, Mr. Hunt-and-Peck. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • I don’t feel like I’m out of my element or anything like that. I’m very comfortable where I’m at. I enjoy being in this position, and actually it feels like I haven’t really been away from it. I feel very comfortable out there from the first tee onwards. – Aaron Baddeley • I don’t think the philosophy really changes between men and women. I think golf courses need to become more distance-friendly overall. I think golf courses almost need to develop a more generic set of tees instead of calling them black, blue, red or whatever. – Amy Alcott • I go to the first tee scared to death every day. The peaks do not seem to last as long as the valleys in this game. – J. C. Snead • I got so strong I felt like a giant…..When I stood on the tee with Arnold and Jack, I was tiny compared to them. But I never believed they were bigger than me. So the mind is so fascinating. – Gary Player • I had held a notion that I could make a pretty fair appraisal of the worth of an opponent simply by speaking to him on the first tee and taking a good measuring look into his eyes. – Bobby Jones • I had to lull Mom and Hank into believing I was in the right frame of mind to be taken into public. If I exited my bedroom foaming at the mouth and dressed in black LOVE SUCKS tee, my plan would never get off the ground. – Becca Fitzpatrick • I have a really simple wardrobe. I wear a low-scoop tee every day with a tux or leather jacket and tux pants or black jeans. That’s pretty much it. – Johan Lindeberg • I have really enjoyed every minute I have spent in golf- above all, the many wonderful friends I have made. I have loved playing the game and practicing it. Whether my schedule for the following day called for a tournament round or merely a trip to the practice tee, the prospect that there was going to be golf in it made me feel privileged and extremely happy, and I couldn’t wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that I could get out on the course again – Ben Hogan • I hurt my shoulder on the fifth tee – just hitting it too hard when you’re too old. – Ian Woosnam • I like What Goes Around Comes Around for old concert tees. Oh man, I got this ‘Sgt. Pepper’ cartoon Beatles shirt there; it was, like, $300. I didn’t even know how much it cost – I thought it was gonna be, like, $80 at most – till I got to the register and was like, ‘Oh mah gawd!’ Good Lord. But it’s classic vintage rock, you know? – Kid Cudi • I mistrust the term graphic novel because it sounds like a good thing to put on a tee-shirt. That’s why the French like them. – Terry Pratchett • I need to use the Dam Bathroom, I need to use the Dam Snack bar, I want a Dam Tee-Shirt. – Rick Riordan • I remember winning the first time, you know, suddenly everybody expects, well, okay, now he should win every time he tees it up, win six tournaments. – Retief Goosen • I still get butterflies on the first tee. I still get sweaty hands, and my heart pumps a lot going down the 18th. But I know what winning is all about now, and that’s a feeling that I like. – Annika Sorenstam • I think I can be competitive. Heck, anybody who can walk to the first tee here has a chance. – Fuzzy Zoeller • I think jeans have gotten away from the original meaning, that symbol of freedom; they’ve gone gimmicky and turned into a status item. Our denim is offered at lower price points for that reason. As far as the men’s clothing in the collection, it’s basically my wardrobe. I think men’s clothes should be grounded, strong and classic. I like simple: a blazer, jeans, a low cut tee and maybe a silk scarf. – Johan Lindeberg • I thoroughly enjoy working with kids, whether it’s The First Tee or the lesson tee with my grandkids. – Jack Nicklaus • I thought Denver and Seattle was a big game but Houston and Dallas is the kind of game that as players, we want to play in. I haven’t missed playing in the National Football League, but every year there are one or two games that makes me wish I could tee it up in that game one more time. – Sterling Sharpe • I wanted to feel good about the way I looked. I didn’t understand why style had to be sacrificed for sports technology. I found when going to the gym women were wearing their own tees, without the technology. I started to think, does it make you run faster if you wear that terrible color or sweat less if you wear that horrible fabric? And I challenged it, and the answers were not there to why we were being given poor design work. It was something I wanted to bring to women’s wardrobes. – Stella McCartney • I went through phases of odd hairstyles and tank top-over-tee outfits and stuff like that. – Jamie Lynn Sigler • I wouldn’t wear a tie-dyed tee-shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia. – Kurt Cobain • If any guy threatened her she’d probably suffocate him with her oversized tee. – Simone Elkeles • If I’d been listening closely, I’d have caught the sound of the gods having a great big old tee-hee at my expense. – Sue Grafton • If I’m not going out, my go-to outfit is some comfortable pants, Vans, and a fitted tee. But if I’m going out, definitely some Diesel jeans, either some super cool boots or nice shoes, and then a button-up. – Sterling Beaumon • If it really made sense to “let the club do the work,” you’d just say, “Driver, wedge to the green, one-putt,” and walk to the next tee. – Tom Mulligan • If Jack Nicklaus had to play my tee shots, he couldn’t break 80. He’d be a pharmacist with a string of drugstores in Ohio. – Lee Trevino • If the rest of his foursome are bunched directly behind his ball, or assume the foetal position with their backs to the tee, the golfer is reminded that his drive tends to be erratic. More cruel yet is for his opponent to stand directly in the projected line of flight, as the safest place to be. – Eric Nicol • If there’s a golf course in heaven, I hope it’s like Augusta National. I just don’t want an early tee time. – Gary Player • I’m a big fan of pops of color, but I thought I would take that to the next level and do a color-blocked Rolex. This watch is the perfect accessory whether you’re wearing a tee and jeans or a well-tailored suit. – Brad Goreski • I’m focusing on quality versus quantity – a nicer tee-shirt with organic cotton and buying just one or two instead of five that are cheaper but made with GMO cotton, which is hard on Earth, sewn by slave labor, shipped all the way from China on boats that use lots of oil and can kill whales with ship strikes and sold by (some) companies that could treat their – Kristin Bauer van Straten • I’m much better off the tee. I’m not a great putter. I do not have a good short game. – Molly Sims • I’m not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up. – Lee Trevino • I’m really going to do my homework. I’m going to be down there on the practice tee finding out if a guy’s wife beat him up the night before, important stuff like that. Stuff that people want to know. – Lee Trevino • It is so short and jumbled and jangled, Sam, because there is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre. Everybody is supposed to be dead, to never say anything or want anything ever again. Everything is supposed to be very quiet after a massacre, and it always is, except for the birds. And what do the birds say? All there is to say about a massacre, things like “Poo-tee-weet? – Kurt Vonnegut • It’s really hard to perfect one aspect of your kicking game when you’re spending some of your time kicking with a holder, some of your time kicking off a tee, and some of your time drop-kicking the ball. To be able to concentrate just on my punting responsibilities will do wonders for me. – Pat McAfee • I’ve always tried to play golf with a golf club. I have a hard time driving with my rifle. I mean, 18 is really narrow … I have no problem with the course, except for the tee shot on 18. – Jack Nicklaus • Just hopped off the plane came back from Vancouv Little white tee sum boobs & bamboo – Nicki Minaj • My back swing off the first tee had put him in mond of an eldery woman of dubious morals trying to struggle out of a dress too tight around the shoulders. – Patrick Campbell, 3rd Baron Glenavy • My essentials are skinny jeans, loose-fitting tees, big jumpers, and the leather jacket. Everything is black or blue – I don’t own anything colorful. – Jamie Campbell Bower • My golf score is really bad. I don’t know. I’m definitely not a good golfer. Off the tee box, I can drive it about 275, and I’m in the fairway about 99% of the time. It’s my next shot that needs work. – Jason Aldean • My sister Suga Tee is doing conscious rap. She speaks to the youth. She has an album coming out soon. She got saved but she is still doing her thing. She still spits good game. She’s talented. She sings. I don’t know if a lot of people know this but Suga Tee has a beautiful voice. So ya’ll look out for her album you dig? And look forward to a future Clique album. – E-40 • Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes. – Dave Marr • No matter what happens – never give up a hole….In tossing in your cards after a bad beginning you also undermine your whole game, because to quit between tee and green is more habit-forming than drinking a highball before breakfast. – Sam Snead • Not a mark on it. (Joe) Yeah. Wanna check the backseat, where Steele is sitting? I’ll bet there’s a big stain there. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle. – Jackie Gleason • On the first tee I kept telling myself, “Trust yourself, you can do it.”- Annika Sorenstam • Once I graduated from NYU, I started making custom vintage tees for my friends and it just took off from there. – Charlotte Ronson • One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot – the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something. – Peter Jacobsen • Only because I’m not a morning person. (Joe) And you’re not a night person either. Face it, babe. You’ve only got two good minutes a day. The minute before noon and the minute right after. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Only three things them ladies talk about: they kids, they clothes, and they friends. I hear the word Kennedy, I know they ain’t discussing no politic. They talking about what Miss Jackie done wore on the tee-vee. – Kathryn Stockett • Ooo, he’s snotty. I like him already. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Part of wearing a tee is saying, ‘I’m comfortable and casual.’ – Ryan Seacrest • Patience is a virtue. (Tee) Excuse me, pot, could you not pick on the kettle? (Joe) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Reminiscing No one knows … until you live it, to be there, to tee it up each week, to get yourself ready, the players and whatever else…. I think its a very, very difficult, tough and demanding job. And to be able to, particularly, stay at the level of expertise that we have over the years. Along with the fact that we have made football a presence at BYU. I think those are the things that are about as satisfying as anything that has happened. Then, of course, the players…. I think the thing that will be the most difficult is leaving the relationships and the involvement. – LaVell Edwards • Sam Snead did to the tee-shot what Roger Bannister did to the four-minute mile. – Byron Nelson • Tee Vee football: one team wins, one team loses — they tie — who cares? And why? – Edward Abbey • Tee your ball high…air offers less resistance than dirt. – Jack Nicklaus • The devil doesn’t wear prada; I’m clearly in a — white tee. – Tyler, The Creator • The first time I met [Sylvester Stallone], he had golf tees up his nose. So I figured we were going to be OK. – Sandra Bullock • The fourth tee brings out a mixture of excitement and anticipation, for about 220 yards down the fairway you catch a glimpse of Stillwater Cove, and realize you’ll be walking along this spectacular meeting of land and sea for the next two hours. – Doug Ferguson • The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don’t do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have to make a reservation roughly 137 years in advance, which means that by the time you actually get to the first tee you are deceased. Of course, in golf this is not really a handicap. – Dave Barry • The man who runs from his office to the golf club, gulps a sandwich, belches and races to the first tee has no business howling in anguish when he puts his first two shots in the woods, then tops a 3-iron shot into the pond. – Tony Lema • The NBAs a Fortune 500 company. Thats how you look at it. And all the other Fortune 500 companies out there in the world, you dont see their CEOs and COOs going to work with white tees and baggy clothes and stuff like that. So I have to take that same approach. – Carmelo Anthony • The only times you touch the ball with your hand are when you tee it up and when you pick it out of the cup. The hell with television towers and cables and burrowing animals and the thousand and one things that are referred to as ‘not part of the golf course’. If you hit the ball off the fairway, you play it from there. – Ken Venturi • The subconscious mind is probably the most important factor in being a good golfer. It keeps distractions on the course from ruining a good round. You should practice, develop your swing, and do most of your thinking on the practice tee so that when you play in competition, you can hit the ball automatically. – Wiffy Cox • There are three things being a celebrity is good for: raising money for charity, dinner reservations and tee times. – Dennis Quaid • There was a time when all I cared about was the next game, the next party, the next tee time. – Brett Favre • There’s not much pressure on the golf Tour. Walking to the first tee is in no way comparable to walking through the jungle in combat – Larry Nelson • To quit between tee and green is more habit-forming than drinking a highball before breakfast. – Sam Snead • Trust me, Joe. You’re not a cowboy. The only cows you ever saw as a kid came under a plastic wrap in the grocery store or in a paper wrapped from McDonald’s. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • We don’t want civilians walking around who know about us. Got it? (Tee) Wow, you’re like a ferocious bunny, aren’t you? (Nathan) Worse. A bunny can be fluffy sometimes. Tee always goes for the throat. Trust me. I’m her partner and she’s shot me three times now. (Joe) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot. – Bob Hope • We never let our people just go. (Joe) What are you? Wolfram and Hart? (Steele) Oh, no, sweetie, they just take your soul for service. We intend to take even more than that. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Well, I think that Augusta is not the same golf course that I grew up on. Bobby Jones’ philosophy was giving you space off the tee; if you put it in the right side of the fairway, you ended up getting the right angle to the green. – Jack Nicklaus • What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee. – Walter Hagen • What’s the longest walk in golf? It’s from the practice tee to the first tee. I don’t care if it’s 10 yards. It’s the longest walk in golf. Winners take their swing with them. Losers don’t. – Moe Norman • When Ballesteros triumphed at the British Open in 1979, for his first major win, he hit so few fairways off the tee that he was often mistaken for a gallery marshall. – Dan Jenkins • When I decided to launch my first knitwear line, it was because I saw a void in the basics category. The editors were always looking for cool, fashion-forward tees and sweaters. So that’s where I started. – Alexander Wang • When I got to the first tee on the first day, to hear the cheers, it was like all the oxygen got sucked out. It was hard to pull the club back. – Patrick Reed • When I have a match to play, I begin to relax as soon as I wake up. Everything I do, I do slow and easy. That goes for stroking the razor, getting dressed, and eating my breakfast. I’m practically in slow motion. By the time I’m ready to tee off, I’m so used to taking my time that it’s impossible to hurry my swing. – Walter Hagen • When I learned that there was such a thing as an atheist, I looked it up – and found out that the definition fitted me to a tee. Finally, at the age of 24, I found out who and what I was. Better late than never. – Madalyn Murray O’Hair • When it come to da: ” What it do?! I don’t fall for da: “Woop- TeE- WoOoo! – Erykah Badu • Why is it when I’m the one shot, I’m a baby, but when it’s you, it’s a matter of life and death and national security? (Joe) Because I’m cuter in a short skirt. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Yeah. Kip gets to guard you and I get to house-sit. Life bites the big tee-tawa. (Syn) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • You are so vicious. (Tee) Hence the nickname. (Syd) You know it’s bad when you make me look like Glinda the Good Witch, right? (Tee) Just call me Elphaba. But don’t drop a house on me, ‘kay? (Syd) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • You don’t lose your swing between the ninth green and the tenth tee, and you don’t lose your swing from one day to the next. If you think you do, something is going on that you don’t understand. A diary might help explain it to you. – Harvey Penick • You draw on your own childhood every time you tee it up as an actor. – Ron Perlman • You ever go up to the tee and say, ‘Don’t hit it left, don’t hit it right’? That’s your conscious mind. My body knows how to play golf. I’ve trained it to do that. It’s just a matter of keeping my conscious mind out of it. – Tiger Woods • You hear stories about me beating my brains out practicing, but the truth is, I was enjoying myself. I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning so I could hit balls. I’d be at the practice tee at the crack of dawn, hit balls for a few hours, then take a break and get right back to it. And I still thoroughly enjoy it. When I’m hitting the ball where I want, hard and crisply – when anyone is – it’s a joy that very few people experience. – Ben Hogan • You just don’t have the time to worry about what others are doing. You just want to take care of your own business. You are focused on that tee shot on the 10th tee and making it to the finish line. It’s one of the most stressful moments in professional golf, but you have worked so hard to get to that point, that it really is fun. – Mike Weir • You know what I hate about rock? I hate tie-dyed tee shirts. I wouldn’t wear a tie-dyed tee shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia. – Kurt Cobain • You’re such a crybaby. (Tee) Let me almost shoot off one of your testicles and see how you cope. (Joe) You shouldn’t have moved, Joe. It was your fault. (Tee) Yeah, everything’s my fault. (Joe) Good, then we agree. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Your white tee, well to me, looks like a nightgown; Make your mama proud, take that thing two sizes down. – Andre Benjamin

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[equitiesstocks]

Tees Quotes

Official Website: Tees Quotes

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• A good friend of mine took me out and had me hit off a tee. He made me understand what was my strike zone and – with my speed – the importance of making contact. So I give him a lot of credit for changing my game and making me the player I became. He showed me how to work on me and my game, and not worry about patterning myself after someone else and focusing on what they were capable of doing rather than what I was capable of doing. – Rickey Henderson • A straight factor is important in any comedy, because you need something to tee it up and also to ground it. – Jason Bateman • Aggression is part of the masculine design, we are hardwired for it…. Little girls do not invent games where large numbers of people die, where bloodshed is a prerequisite for having fun. Hockey, for example, was not a feminine creation. Nor was boxing. A boy wants to attack something – and so does a man, even if it’s only a little white ball on a tee. – John Eldredge • Also, of course, I need my Dove soap. Of course I need my cocoa butter. I need my Listerine. I need the white Jockey tees. They are really soft and comfortable. – DJ Khaled • And what do the birds say? All there is to say about a massacre, things like “Poo-tee-weet? – Kurt Vonnegut • Are you all right?” “Oh my god! I phased!” “Are you all right?” “Are you?” “It was strange.” “I can’t believe I phased just then! That’s never…it was totally your fault.” “I like to think so, yes.” “Tee hee. – Joss Whedon • At home, a T-shirt and something loose like harem pants would do. If I’m stepping out, a pair of blue jeans and a white tee are just fine. – Genelia D’Souza

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Tee', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_tee').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_tee img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Bob Hope has a beautiful short game. Unfortunately, it’s off the tee. – Jimmy Demaret • But just like I’ve always said when people complain about tee times, ‘I just want a tee time. Just give me one so I can play. – David Duval • But the bottom line is, no matter what, even if I shoot 90 tomorrow, I’m going to enjoy it. Maybe people will say “Oh, he blew it” or whatever. Maybe I’m going to blow it, it’s the first time I’ve ever been there. What do you expect? You know I’m not number one in the world. My knees are going to touch each other on the first tee tomorrow. But let me tell you, I’m going to enjoy it. – Jean van de Velde • Control is the main thing, and the tee shot is the most important shot in golf. You’ve got to hit the fairway before you have a good chance of putting the ball close to the pin. You can be the greatest iron player in the world, but if you’re in the boondocks it won’t do you any good. – Ben Hogan • Courses that you’ve had success on, all of a sudden your game turns around because you feel comfortable on your tee shots, you feel comfortable going to the greens, you know, all the reads on the putts. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe, but it’s certainly one that you get filled up with confidence more than anything else. – Tiger Woods • Edward Abbey said you must brew your own beer; kick in you Tee Vee; kill your own beef; build your cabin and piss off the front porch whenever you bloody well feel like it. I already had a good start. As a teenager in rural Maine, after we came to America, I had learned hunting, fishing, and trapping in the wilderness. My Maine mentors had long ago taught me to make home brew. I owned a rifle, and I’d already built a log cabin. The rest should be easy. I thought I’d give it a shot. – Bernd Heinrich • Elmcrest CC, in Cedar Rapids, is where it all started when I was growing up. The tree-lined course has a very demanding layout that requires you to be accurate off the tee and avoid a number of well-placed water hazards on some of the holes. – Zach Johnson • Every golfer can expect to have four bad shots in a round and when you do, just put them out of your mind. This, of course is hard to do when you’ve had them and you’re not even off the first tee. – Walter Hagen • Every golfer should come to the first tee with fourteen clubs, a dozen balls, a handful of tees, and at least one great golf story – Lee Trevino • Everything was fine until I walked on to the first tee! – Seve Ballesteros • Fighting is like life. You can do everything to a tee. You can show up and fail. That’s no reason to quit. – Frank Mir • Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags. – Bob Hope • Get a good jean, a good tee, a good whatever because you can just switch that stuff up and you have like 8,000 different outfits with a few things. – Zendaya • Golf is a stupid game. You tee up this little ball, really this tiny ball. Then you hit it, try to find it, hit it. And the goal is to get it into a little hole placed in a hard spot. – Juli Inkster • Has anyone ever won an argument with you? (Syd) Just Tee, and I was drunk and wounded at the time. (Joe) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • He [Daniel Craig] is mysterious, and I think that that’s the thing Bond has to exude, that kind of mysterious edge. He draws you in, but he is also incredibly cool, you know, James Bond is cool and sharp and Daniel has that to a tee, and he’s also got the rawness and an edginess to him that is slightly unhinged, and you’re not sure what is going on there, and I think that is really intriguing and interesting. It is a lot weightier and gritty, and he has that. – Gemma Arterton • He’s wearing boots, a kilt, and a long-sleeve tee. No coat, even though it’s December. Beautiful people don’t need coats. They’ve got their auras to keep them warm. – Jennifer Donnelly • Hole in One: an occurence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole in a single shot by a golfer playing alone. – Henry Beard • How to Overthrow the System: brew your own beer; kick in your Tee Vee; kill your own beef; build your own cabin and piss off the front porch whenever you bloody well feel like it. – Edward Abbey • I also taught myself how to blow glass using a propane torch from the hardware store and managed to make some elementary chemistry plumbing such as tees and small glass bulbs. – Robert B. Laughlin • I am always looking for a cool tee shirt; maybe one with a rock band or an old advertisement. – Bridget Hall • I call my putter ‘Sweet Charity’ because it covers such a multitude of sins from tee to green. – Gardner Dickinson • I can wear a suit, sweatpants, a long tee shirt, and a denim jacket all at the same time. – Tinie Tempah • I could get you to smile like that, and without sales tax.” I whirled around to find the real Patch standing in the fitting room behind me. He was wearing jeans and a snug white tee. His arms were folded loosely over his chest, and his black eyes smiled down at me. Heat that wasn’t entirely uncomfortable flushed through my body. “I could make all kinds of pervert jokes right now,” I quipped. – Becca Fitzpatrick • I do know how to operate a computer. (Joe) Yeah, right. What was it you said just ten minutes ago? Get this damned thing off my desk before I shoot it? Now make the call, Mr. Hunt-and-Peck. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • I don’t feel like I’m out of my element or anything like that. I’m very comfortable where I’m at. I enjoy being in this position, and actually it feels like I haven’t really been away from it. I feel very comfortable out there from the first tee onwards. – Aaron Baddeley • I don’t think the philosophy really changes between men and women. I think golf courses need to become more distance-friendly overall. I think golf courses almost need to develop a more generic set of tees instead of calling them black, blue, red or whatever. – Amy Alcott • I go to the first tee scared to death every day. The peaks do not seem to last as long as the valleys in this game. – J. C. Snead • I got so strong I felt like a giant…..When I stood on the tee with Arnold and Jack, I was tiny compared to them. But I never believed they were bigger than me. So the mind is so fascinating. – Gary Player • I had held a notion that I could make a pretty fair appraisal of the worth of an opponent simply by speaking to him on the first tee and taking a good measuring look into his eyes. – Bobby Jones • I had to lull Mom and Hank into believing I was in the right frame of mind to be taken into public. If I exited my bedroom foaming at the mouth and dressed in black LOVE SUCKS tee, my plan would never get off the ground. – Becca Fitzpatrick • I have a really simple wardrobe. I wear a low-scoop tee every day with a tux or leather jacket and tux pants or black jeans. That’s pretty much it. – Johan Lindeberg • I have really enjoyed every minute I have spent in golf- above all, the many wonderful friends I have made. I have loved playing the game and practicing it. Whether my schedule for the following day called for a tournament round or merely a trip to the practice tee, the prospect that there was going to be golf in it made me feel privileged and extremely happy, and I couldn’t wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that I could get out on the course again – Ben Hogan • I hurt my shoulder on the fifth tee – just hitting it too hard when you’re too old. – Ian Woosnam • I like What Goes Around Comes Around for old concert tees. Oh man, I got this ‘Sgt. Pepper’ cartoon Beatles shirt there; it was, like, $300. I didn’t even know how much it cost – I thought it was gonna be, like, $80 at most – till I got to the register and was like, ‘Oh mah gawd!’ Good Lord. But it’s classic vintage rock, you know? – Kid Cudi • I mistrust the term graphic novel because it sounds like a good thing to put on a tee-shirt. That’s why the French like them. – Terry Pratchett • I need to use the Dam Bathroom, I need to use the Dam Snack bar, I want a Dam Tee-Shirt. – Rick Riordan • I remember winning the first time, you know, suddenly everybody expects, well, okay, now he should win every time he tees it up, win six tournaments. – Retief Goosen • I still get butterflies on the first tee. I still get sweaty hands, and my heart pumps a lot going down the 18th. But I know what winning is all about now, and that’s a feeling that I like. – Annika Sorenstam • I think I can be competitive. Heck, anybody who can walk to the first tee here has a chance. – Fuzzy Zoeller • I think jeans have gotten away from the original meaning, that symbol of freedom; they’ve gone gimmicky and turned into a status item. Our denim is offered at lower price points for that reason. As far as the men’s clothing in the collection, it’s basically my wardrobe. I think men’s clothes should be grounded, strong and classic. I like simple: a blazer, jeans, a low cut tee and maybe a silk scarf. – Johan Lindeberg • I thoroughly enjoy working with kids, whether it’s The First Tee or the lesson tee with my grandkids. – Jack Nicklaus • I thought Denver and Seattle was a big game but Houston and Dallas is the kind of game that as players, we want to play in. I haven’t missed playing in the National Football League, but every year there are one or two games that makes me wish I could tee it up in that game one more time. – Sterling Sharpe • I wanted to feel good about the way I looked. I didn’t understand why style had to be sacrificed for sports technology. I found when going to the gym women were wearing their own tees, without the technology. I started to think, does it make you run faster if you wear that terrible color or sweat less if you wear that horrible fabric? And I challenged it, and the answers were not there to why we were being given poor design work. It was something I wanted to bring to women’s wardrobes. – Stella McCartney • I went through phases of odd hairstyles and tank top-over-tee outfits and stuff like that. – Jamie Lynn Sigler • I wouldn’t wear a tie-dyed tee-shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia. – Kurt Cobain • If any guy threatened her she’d probably suffocate him with her oversized tee. – Simone Elkeles • If I’d been listening closely, I’d have caught the sound of the gods having a great big old tee-hee at my expense. – Sue Grafton • If I’m not going out, my go-to outfit is some comfortable pants, Vans, and a fitted tee. But if I’m going out, definitely some Diesel jeans, either some super cool boots or nice shoes, and then a button-up. – Sterling Beaumon • If it really made sense to “let the club do the work,” you’d just say, “Driver, wedge to the green, one-putt,” and walk to the next tee. – Tom Mulligan • If Jack Nicklaus had to play my tee shots, he couldn’t break 80. He’d be a pharmacist with a string of drugstores in Ohio. – Lee Trevino • If the rest of his foursome are bunched directly behind his ball, or assume the foetal position with their backs to the tee, the golfer is reminded that his drive tends to be erratic. More cruel yet is for his opponent to stand directly in the projected line of flight, as the safest place to be. – Eric Nicol • If there’s a golf course in heaven, I hope it’s like Augusta National. I just don’t want an early tee time. – Gary Player • I’m a big fan of pops of color, but I thought I would take that to the next level and do a color-blocked Rolex. This watch is the perfect accessory whether you’re wearing a tee and jeans or a well-tailored suit. – Brad Goreski • I’m focusing on quality versus quantity – a nicer tee-shirt with organic cotton and buying just one or two instead of five that are cheaper but made with GMO cotton, which is hard on Earth, sewn by slave labor, shipped all the way from China on boats that use lots of oil and can kill whales with ship strikes and sold by (some) companies that could treat their – Kristin Bauer van Straten • I’m much better off the tee. I’m not a great putter. I do not have a good short game. – Molly Sims • I’m not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up. – Lee Trevino • I’m really going to do my homework. I’m going to be down there on the practice tee finding out if a guy’s wife beat him up the night before, important stuff like that. Stuff that people want to know. – Lee Trevino • It is so short and jumbled and jangled, Sam, because there is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre. Everybody is supposed to be dead, to never say anything or want anything ever again. Everything is supposed to be very quiet after a massacre, and it always is, except for the birds. And what do the birds say? All there is to say about a massacre, things like “Poo-tee-weet? – Kurt Vonnegut • It’s really hard to perfect one aspect of your kicking game when you’re spending some of your time kicking with a holder, some of your time kicking off a tee, and some of your time drop-kicking the ball. To be able to concentrate just on my punting responsibilities will do wonders for me. – Pat McAfee • I’ve always tried to play golf with a golf club. I have a hard time driving with my rifle. I mean, 18 is really narrow … I have no problem with the course, except for the tee shot on 18. – Jack Nicklaus • Just hopped off the plane came back from Vancouv Little white tee sum boobs & bamboo – Nicki Minaj • My back swing off the first tee had put him in mond of an eldery woman of dubious morals trying to struggle out of a dress too tight around the shoulders. – Patrick Campbell, 3rd Baron Glenavy • My essentials are skinny jeans, loose-fitting tees, big jumpers, and the leather jacket. Everything is black or blue – I don’t own anything colorful. – Jamie Campbell Bower • My golf score is really bad. I don’t know. I’m definitely not a good golfer. Off the tee box, I can drive it about 275, and I’m in the fairway about 99% of the time. It’s my next shot that needs work. – Jason Aldean • My sister Suga Tee is doing conscious rap. She speaks to the youth. She has an album coming out soon. She got saved but she is still doing her thing. She still spits good game. She’s talented. She sings. I don’t know if a lot of people know this but Suga Tee has a beautiful voice. So ya’ll look out for her album you dig? And look forward to a future Clique album. – E-40 • Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes. – Dave Marr • No matter what happens – never give up a hole….In tossing in your cards after a bad beginning you also undermine your whole game, because to quit between tee and green is more habit-forming than drinking a highball before breakfast. – Sam Snead • Not a mark on it. (Joe) Yeah. Wanna check the backseat, where Steele is sitting? I’ll bet there’s a big stain there. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle. – Jackie Gleason • On the first tee I kept telling myself, “Trust yourself, you can do it.”- Annika Sorenstam • Once I graduated from NYU, I started making custom vintage tees for my friends and it just took off from there. – Charlotte Ronson • One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot – the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something. – Peter Jacobsen • Only because I’m not a morning person. (Joe) And you’re not a night person either. Face it, babe. You’ve only got two good minutes a day. The minute before noon and the minute right after. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Only three things them ladies talk about: they kids, they clothes, and they friends. I hear the word Kennedy, I know they ain’t discussing no politic. They talking about what Miss Jackie done wore on the tee-vee. – Kathryn Stockett • Ooo, he’s snotty. I like him already. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Part of wearing a tee is saying, ‘I’m comfortable and casual.’ – Ryan Seacrest • Patience is a virtue. (Tee) Excuse me, pot, could you not pick on the kettle? (Joe) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Reminiscing No one knows … until you live it, to be there, to tee it up each week, to get yourself ready, the players and whatever else…. I think its a very, very difficult, tough and demanding job. And to be able to, particularly, stay at the level of expertise that we have over the years. Along with the fact that we have made football a presence at BYU. I think those are the things that are about as satisfying as anything that has happened. Then, of course, the players…. I think the thing that will be the most difficult is leaving the relationships and the involvement. – LaVell Edwards • Sam Snead did to the tee-shot what Roger Bannister did to the four-minute mile. – Byron Nelson • Tee Vee football: one team wins, one team loses — they tie — who cares? And why? – Edward Abbey • Tee your ball high…air offers less resistance than dirt. – Jack Nicklaus • The devil doesn’t wear prada; I’m clearly in a — white tee. – Tyler, The Creator • The first time I met [Sylvester Stallone], he had golf tees up his nose. So I figured we were going to be OK. – Sandra Bullock • The fourth tee brings out a mixture of excitement and anticipation, for about 220 yards down the fairway you catch a glimpse of Stillwater Cove, and realize you’ll be walking along this spectacular meeting of land and sea for the next two hours. – Doug Ferguson • The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don’t do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have to make a reservation roughly 137 years in advance, which means that by the time you actually get to the first tee you are deceased. Of course, in golf this is not really a handicap. – Dave Barry • The man who runs from his office to the golf club, gulps a sandwich, belches and races to the first tee has no business howling in anguish when he puts his first two shots in the woods, then tops a 3-iron shot into the pond. – Tony Lema • The NBAs a Fortune 500 company. Thats how you look at it. And all the other Fortune 500 companies out there in the world, you dont see their CEOs and COOs going to work with white tees and baggy clothes and stuff like that. So I have to take that same approach. – Carmelo Anthony • The only times you touch the ball with your hand are when you tee it up and when you pick it out of the cup. The hell with television towers and cables and burrowing animals and the thousand and one things that are referred to as ‘not part of the golf course’. If you hit the ball off the fairway, you play it from there. – Ken Venturi • The subconscious mind is probably the most important factor in being a good golfer. It keeps distractions on the course from ruining a good round. You should practice, develop your swing, and do most of your thinking on the practice tee so that when you play in competition, you can hit the ball automatically. – Wiffy Cox • There are three things being a celebrity is good for: raising money for charity, dinner reservations and tee times. – Dennis Quaid • There was a time when all I cared about was the next game, the next party, the next tee time. – Brett Favre • There’s not much pressure on the golf Tour. Walking to the first tee is in no way comparable to walking through the jungle in combat – Larry Nelson • To quit between tee and green is more habit-forming than drinking a highball before breakfast. – Sam Snead • Trust me, Joe. You’re not a cowboy. The only cows you ever saw as a kid came under a plastic wrap in the grocery store or in a paper wrapped from McDonald’s. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • We don’t want civilians walking around who know about us. Got it? (Tee) Wow, you’re like a ferocious bunny, aren’t you? (Nathan) Worse. A bunny can be fluffy sometimes. Tee always goes for the throat. Trust me. I’m her partner and she’s shot me three times now. (Joe) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot. – Bob Hope • We never let our people just go. (Joe) What are you? Wolfram and Hart? (Steele) Oh, no, sweetie, they just take your soul for service. We intend to take even more than that. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Well, I think that Augusta is not the same golf course that I grew up on. Bobby Jones’ philosophy was giving you space off the tee; if you put it in the right side of the fairway, you ended up getting the right angle to the green. – Jack Nicklaus • What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee. – Walter Hagen • What’s the longest walk in golf? It’s from the practice tee to the first tee. I don’t care if it’s 10 yards. It’s the longest walk in golf. Winners take their swing with them. Losers don’t. – Moe Norman • When Ballesteros triumphed at the British Open in 1979, for his first major win, he hit so few fairways off the tee that he was often mistaken for a gallery marshall. – Dan Jenkins • When I decided to launch my first knitwear line, it was because I saw a void in the basics category. The editors were always looking for cool, fashion-forward tees and sweaters. So that’s where I started. – Alexander Wang • When I got to the first tee on the first day, to hear the cheers, it was like all the oxygen got sucked out. It was hard to pull the club back. – Patrick Reed • When I have a match to play, I begin to relax as soon as I wake up. Everything I do, I do slow and easy. That goes for stroking the razor, getting dressed, and eating my breakfast. I’m practically in slow motion. By the time I’m ready to tee off, I’m so used to taking my time that it’s impossible to hurry my swing. – Walter Hagen • When I learned that there was such a thing as an atheist, I looked it up – and found out that the definition fitted me to a tee. Finally, at the age of 24, I found out who and what I was. Better late than never. – Madalyn Murray O’Hair • When it come to da: ” What it do?! I don’t fall for da: “Woop- TeE- WoOoo! – Erykah Badu • Why is it when I’m the one shot, I’m a baby, but when it’s you, it’s a matter of life and death and national security? (Joe) Because I’m cuter in a short skirt. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Yeah. Kip gets to guard you and I get to house-sit. Life bites the big tee-tawa. (Syn) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • You are so vicious. (Tee) Hence the nickname. (Syd) You know it’s bad when you make me look like Glinda the Good Witch, right? (Tee) Just call me Elphaba. But don’t drop a house on me, ‘kay? (Syd) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • You don’t lose your swing between the ninth green and the tenth tee, and you don’t lose your swing from one day to the next. If you think you do, something is going on that you don’t understand. A diary might help explain it to you. – Harvey Penick • You draw on your own childhood every time you tee it up as an actor. – Ron Perlman • You ever go up to the tee and say, ‘Don’t hit it left, don’t hit it right’? That’s your conscious mind. My body knows how to play golf. I’ve trained it to do that. It’s just a matter of keeping my conscious mind out of it. – Tiger Woods • You hear stories about me beating my brains out practicing, but the truth is, I was enjoying myself. I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning so I could hit balls. I’d be at the practice tee at the crack of dawn, hit balls for a few hours, then take a break and get right back to it. And I still thoroughly enjoy it. When I’m hitting the ball where I want, hard and crisply – when anyone is – it’s a joy that very few people experience. – Ben Hogan • You just don’t have the time to worry about what others are doing. You just want to take care of your own business. You are focused on that tee shot on the 10th tee and making it to the finish line. It’s one of the most stressful moments in professional golf, but you have worked so hard to get to that point, that it really is fun. – Mike Weir • You know what I hate about rock? I hate tie-dyed tee shirts. I wouldn’t wear a tie-dyed tee shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia. – Kurt Cobain • You’re such a crybaby. (Tee) Let me almost shoot off one of your testicles and see how you cope. (Joe) You shouldn’t have moved, Joe. It was your fault. (Tee) Yeah, everything’s my fault. (Joe) Good, then we agree. (Tee) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Your white tee, well to me, looks like a nightgown; Make your mama proud, take that thing two sizes down. – Andre Benjamin

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[limejuicer1862]

Wombwell Rainbow Interview

I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me. I gave the writers two options: an emailed list of questions or a more fluid interview via messenger.

The usual ground is covered about motivation, daily routines and work ethic, but some surprises too. Some of these poets you may know, others may be new to you. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I do.

Amy Shimshon-Santo

a writer, educator, and urbanist, believes the arts are “a powerful tool for transformation,” both socially and personally. She connects the arts, education, and urban planning in her work. Holding a PhD and MA in urban planning from UC Los Angeles, an MFA in creative writing from Antioch University Los Angeles, and a BA in Latin American studies from UC Santa Cruz. Amy is an associate professor at Claremont Graduate University where she heads the Master of Arts Management program. She has been recognized on the National Honor Roll for Service Learning. Amy lead the ArtsBridge program for UCLA Arts and her efforts provided the foundation for the University of California’s first visual and performing arts education degree in the state. Amy represented the State of California at the National Endowment of the Art’s Education Leadership Institute, where she was a founding member of Create CA. She has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize in creative nonfiction and Best of the Net in poetry. Amy’s essays have appeared in Entropy, and have been published by SAGE. Her work has also been published by University of California Press and State University of New York Press, and can be found in Rose Quartz Magazine, Public, Teaching Artist Journal, Tiferet Journal, Critical Planning, Entropy, Yes, Poetry, Zócalo Public Square, and Lady/Liberty/Lit, and more. Her book of poems, Even the Milky Way is Undocumented, is forthcoming with Unsolicited Press in 2020. Amy is found on www.amyshimshon.com

shimshona4@gmail.com Twitter: @amyshimshon IG: @shimshona http://www.amyshimshon.com/

The Interview

1. What inspired you to write poetry?

Poetry was my first (written) language. I intuitively wrote with line breaks since I was a girl. I didn’t call it poetry, but it was how I wrote. A kind of birth mark.

What has changed in my relationship to poetry is how I read, and my entanglement with editing. Writing is natural. Editing is more like design, or how I imagine carpentry. My brother is a carpenter. My grandfather was too. I just build things with different materials and tools. Words instead of wood. Punctuation marks instead of nails. When I edit, I want the poems to look me in the eye, sound good on the tongue, and tell some kind of story.

Essays are another matter. I know precisely when that started. I had to write an essay to apply to college. It felt like ice skating in outer space. Complicated, maybe even impossible. Now, I’ve grown to appreciate the process of writing essays, and am almost always tinkering with one. They help me observe and think. Essays are architectural, 2D dwellings for bigger ideas and worlds. I see a light and run into them without a plan, get lost in the chaos of the experience, and finally figure out what wants to be said. I feel a sense of wonder and satisfaction when they are done.

I write poems every morning, and whether they are “good” or not, they’re my medicine for living. They are my thermometer for authentic living. They help me know myself, and seek freedom despite whatever may be limiting me in the material world.

2. Who introduced you to poetry?

The first poet I remember hearing was Maya Angelou. Listening to her wasn’t just witnessing a vocalist and spoken word master, it was witnessing a woman being phenomenal herself. That’s what I remember first and foremost — “Oh! Look, a woman! Maybe I can be one too!” Hearing her made me feel like it was a good thing to be a woman. She was tall, with a wide arm span, and a voice that commanded attention. She took up space, but trampled no one. She wrapped her hair in stamped cloth, and wore canvas cargo pants. Her poetry was music, a polyrhythmic bumpa-dee-bump-dance of living. She baked Quiche Lorraine. I went home and found a pair of canvas cargo pants my own size. She’s been a lifelong inspiration.

I studied in Nicaragua and Mexico in my twenties, and dove into works of César Vallejo, Nicolás Guillen, Pablo Neruda, Roque Dalton, Ernesto Cardenal, Claribel Alegria, and Giaconda Belli. I read their poetry aloud to myself. That was how I developed an intimate relationship with Spanish, and, later, Portuguese via capoeira music. I was raised in California, and heard Spanish on the yard in school. Eventually, I picked it up, and poetry helped. The poet Francisco X. Alarcon welcomed me into his Spanish for Spanish Speakers class, and poetry came flooding in. Reading aloud, I loved the sound on my lips. Learning a language is a kind of love relationship. This happened to me in three languages (English, Spanish, and Portuguese).

My mother’s first language was Hebrew, but my dad was monolingual English. He lost his mother’s native Russian, and I lost my mother’s Hebrew and Yiddish. I wish I’d learned the languages of my own origins (Hebrew, Yiddish, Russian), but I picked up the ones that loved me back, the ones I lived with.

3. How aware were you of the dominating presence of older poets?

I don’t want to feel dominated by anything, even great poets. If anything, poetry is about freeing myself from all kind of domination. I don’t seek to dominate or be dominated. I seek equilibrium and honesty. I seek wonder and gratitude for living.I am grateful for the presence of older poets. Since I am getting older every day, even my silver hair is a flag to the aging process. Thich Nhat Hanh said, “I am of the nature to die.” I watch older poets to see how they navigate living, and, also, aging. How can we live and write well at every stage of life? How can we be creative at every stage? I read and listen to ancestral poets, and I embrace my relationship to the archive. I feel them as extended family — people who were whispered into, just like me. Adrienne Rich. Mary Oliver. Toni Morrison. Zora Neale Hurston. I don’t compare myself, I just feel related. Living well is not a competition. I’m not trying to achieve or prove anything, just take advantage of being alive.

Unlike Bob Kaufman, I don’t want to disappear when I die. That is not because of ego, it’s because I want to remain in relationship with other writers always, whether I am living or not. The archive has unfathomable dimensions.

Intersectional women deserve to be in there along with everybody else. I want to be a part of that, even if I am just one tiny blue-green thread, or a strand of red-tangerine.

4. What is your daily writing routine?

My knee jerk reaction to that question is, “If I told you I’d have to kill you.” I guess I’m protective of the creative process. It’s a mysterious thing, not something you can just pick up in a supermarket by the dishwashing liquid. Although, maybe that could make a good grocery shopping poem.

I have daily and seasonal writing routines. As a working person, and head of household, I start my day early with writing and ashtanga before work. With limited time, I accumulate small pieces of writing throughout the academic year and rely on the slower summer months to piece mosaics together. I value my job, but my writing life needs time too. So, when other folks dream of summer vacations, I long for stretches of quiet time off the grid. Nine months a year belong to my students. The summers are mine, and I am loyal to them because writing is a necessity.

5. What motivates you to write?

I have a writing self that wants to be expressed. It is my duty to care for her by letting her write whatever she wants. I write to fumble around in the dark and pull out stories. I write to face these times, and shine some light on living in the 21st century. Writing satisfies my adventurous spirit, and helps me feel less powerless as a woman, as a single mom, as someone from an immigrant family where many of us have gone unnoticed, injured, or completely erased. I write to be surprised. It’s the shake-shake-shake of a brown paper sack with something hidden inside. Once I was in Panama working on a popular education project. There was a carnival tradition that involved a pillow case. You fumbled your hand around inside, landed on an object, and pulled it out. Jumbled inside the sack were everyday items and things that were taboo (For example, an enormous blue dildo). Face the mystery. Take a risk. Laugh. Gasp. Weep. Feel something. Write.

6. What is your work ethic?

Fierce. I’ve been called a work horse, and I think that’s pretty accurate. Maybe a work centaur. I write every day, even if it’s just 20 minutes of jottings, so that I know how I am, and what I am thinking about on a deeper level. If I did not need a job-job, I would wake up, do yoga, write all day, and take a walking meditation at night. My idea of a good time. Throw in some dancing and we’re set. Because of writing, even if one “job” ends, I’ll just return to my real-forever-job which is stringing words together. Writing gave me my life back. Wouldn’t you work hard for something that gave you such a gift?

7. How do the writers you read when you were young influence you today?

The books that I read to my children when they were young influenced me as much as those I read when I was a child. They gave me a second childhood, perhaps one I never had. I collect books and try to adopt their courage. The stacks are to get lost in. Find a stool and pull out a book. This also applies to music and dancing. This applies to visual art and film. This applies to ferris wheels and lagoons. It applies to public libraries and the internet.

8. Who of today’s writers do you admire the most and why?

I spent months this year in the clutch of Toni Morrison’s On Self Regard, before she passed. Her intellect is expansive. Just. Expansive. Among the living, I am enriched by the enthusiasm of local writers Adrian Ernesto Cepeda, Genevieve Kaplan, and Ikia Noel because they are great practitioners, advocates, and instigators of writing. Gayle Brandeis, Deena Metzger, and Dan Bellm are guides for me toward how to write and be an upstanding human. I delight in the work of Gloria Carrera, Natalia Toledo, Aracelis Girmay, Ross Gay, Tiana Clark, Natalie Diaz, Nikky Finney, Naomi Shihab Nye, and Yusef Komunyakaa. They crisscross different cultures and languages. Their sentences break things open. They inspire me.

9. Why do you write, as opposed to doing anything else?

I used to be a dancer and choreographer. Dancing required having a big open space, limber bodies, music, costumes, lighting, gels, sound equipment, a van, crates of costumes props and instruments. I needed 30 minutes to an hour just to warm up, and then hours for rehearsal.

Writing is a creative practice that is accessible to me at this stage of my life. All I need is a pen and notebook. With those two things, I can go anywhere.

10. What would you say to someone who asked you “How do you become a writer?”

Write. Read. Observe. Express. Welcome the sound of your voice. Listen attentively to the world. Truth is a good pair of shoes. Don’t be afraid to put your work out there. Leap.

11. Tell me about the writing projects you have on at the moment.

My debut poetry collection EVEN THE MILKYWAY IS UNDOCUMENTED will be coming out in 2020 with Unsolicited Press. My son and I just recorded an audio book version and I’m excited about that. Recording that was memorable. I sat down at the microphone with him at the console. Yikes. Then I realized what I was about to do and what he was about to hear. “I am sorry. Some of this is hard,” I said. “I am honored,” he said. Just wow. Spoken word is a very particular kind of conjuring that I enjoy. Not enjoy. Adore. I don’t sing, but I will seduce the fuck out of the world with a sentence. It’s good fun. Serious magic.

I completed a collection of essays that is under review, have a new essay in the brain-que-que, and a collaborative poetry book on the horizon. I don’t want to say more until they are fully formed, but I’m really glad that writing keeps coming. That’s the whole point of completing things — make space for what wants to come next.

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews: Amy Shimson-Santo Wombwell Rainbow Interview I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me.