#douglas!nikki imagines

[sweetheartedbylust]

Can you do a smut with Douglas Booth Nikki Sixx when he has angry sex w reader after Doc invited his mother?

“What was that about?” Nikki sixx *the dirt* x reader NSFW

Alright hoes, welcome back and thank you for the request. Hope y’all like it :3

💋

When Nikki bursted back into your shared hotel room, his eyes wide and teeth still gritted you knew something was up.

“Nikki..what happened” you said trying to calm him with your tone but instead all he said was.

“Get on the fucking bed..actually wait” and before he could finish you were bent over the table right in the middle of the room. You didn’t really want to ask questions so you just let Nikki take his stress out .

“I’m gonna ruin this fuckin’ pussy..you’d like that right baby?” He said. Quickly getting his jeans off, leaning back down to suck on the side of your neck. “And you’re gonna scream my name for everyone to hear..got it?” He said as he flipped you around and when you nodded he took that as full permission to slide down your shorts and your panties and push into you.

“Look at this, all fucking tight and wet for me..just lay right there” he said as he dick pressed up against your walls. Just letting him take you..you didn’t even care who might hear it.

“Just think about it..the boys hearing your pretty mouth screaming my name..for me” by then his hand had snuck up your neck, squeezing it.

“Take it slut..take my dick all in you” his voice was pushing you over the edge and the way his dick was hitting your spot so good . It was perfect.

You were gonna cum and he knew it. He knew it all.

“Go ahead baby..cum on my dick, scream my name” And with that and him playing with your clit. You felt the knot in your core release as you screamed Nikki’s name with your head buried in his neck

“That’s right. Cum on my dick for me mhm. You want my load in you..I know you fuckin’ do” nikki said as he felt his high coming .

“Good fuckin’ baby..it’s okay” he said as he held you as his high finally hit him and you felt his cum coating your insides

“Nikki babe..now tell me what was that about” you asked breathless ,

“Doc invited my mom..for some reason” he said with a sigh as you apologized and rubbed his back for a minute. You knew how bad Nikki’s mom was..and how bad their relationship was.

“ don’t worry..I’ll try to talk to doc” you said trying to comfort him. “Thank you..I’m sorry if I was kinda, you know” . “It’s okay Nikki” you said as y’all layed there for a while. It was pretty nice since the boys were on tour and y’all rarely spent time together.

-

[thisisntmyrightera]

Over Again (Nikki Sixx & Fem Character)

Description: You and Nikki met thanks to Tommy and he decides that it's time to settle down with you but your relationship soon becomes 3, you, him and drugs so an unfortunate event makes him open his eyes and take life seriously.

Warning: Mention of abort, substance abuse, violence and other sensitive topics.

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It was around 1986 when Tommy my old friend from school found me at a party by chance, we had years without knowing about each other, at that time he had recently married Heather and the idea of ​​settling down with Tommy was so present that he didn't think of anyone else but Nikki, he had to have a woman by his side, i were the responsible, kind and always in a good mood girl that he had met in class but now turned into a woman.

The day Nikki and i were introduced, he didn't seem to care about my presence, his mind was lost in cocaine and with the lights of the place he could barely notice my blushing cheeks when i said hi, for me it wasn't strange at all, i imagined the environment in which he and Tommy moved with the other guys in the band so i just focused on being the social butterfly i always were and soon i found myself talking to another guy near the pool.

For Nikki this wasn't right, how could someone let Nikki Sixx pass by and focus on a skinny blonde guy who was only in charge of moving the cables behind the stage? But his state made it impossible for him to get close, his mind was fused with heroin and no matter how much jealousy he felt in his heart, his mind only asked for more drugs and that's what he did.

By the end of the night i thanked Tommy for the invitation and although the drummer was disappointed that his friend didn't pay attention to a me, he knew something had happened inside Sixx, he knew that look, not for nothing was it his terror twin.

It was during a rehearsal that while Nikki was drinking her Jack Daniels he approached the drums asking Tommy who was that girl he had introduced him to at the party, he knew it, Nikki had fallen, Tommy was never wrong.

After that Tommy invited me again to one of the many parties that Motley Crue gave and this time Nikki was able to fight a little against his addiction and took some time to approach and start talking, it was a matter of seconds when both felt as if we had been friends forever, both laughed and told anecdotes that we had in common, finally Nikki was able to spend a night alone with beer and cigarettes, away from needles and mirrors with white powder.

Soon, sooner than Tommy had imagined, Nikki and i had formalized our relationship, it was common now to see me between the dressing rooms, talking to Heather or encouraging my boyfriend, the groupies did not receive me good at all, they knew that Nikki was finally tied and no matter how hard they tried he only had eyes for his girl.

Finally in 1987, by all rights, i became Mrs. Sixx. my friends couldn't believe that i had walked down the aisle with one of the sexiest rock stars in history. My parents, for their part, seemed happy but deep down they were afraid that something would happen. For them, Motley Crue's music was nothing more than a loud sound and the boys were extravagant and wild. They couldn't understand how their sweet girl had walked down the aisle in her beautiful white dress with a disheveled boy who wore makeup on stage.

The first few months of marriage were good, not perfect, but at home everything was fine, although from time to time Nikki always reminded me that i shouldn't go into his closet, it was his personal place and i understood it, maybe it was a space where he could relax just as he had dedicated a whole room for my hobbies where i could paint, knit and do other of my favorite things, but it didn't take me long to realize that something was wrong, Nikki often didn't come to sleep in bed even though he was home, when i tried to get close to him to be intimate, he seemed upset and irritating so i just turned around and went back to the room leaving him alone.

When i were lucky and managed to convince him of something, he was the best lover in the world, he left me exhausted and with my legs numb and soon i managed i get pregnant, it was an illusion that i had in mind since i ou began my adult life, to have a marriage with a kind man and create a family like the one my parents had created.

That night i ran downstairs with the pregnancy test in my hand finding Nikki in the kitchen drinking from a small glass what looked like whiskey.

''Nikki'' i yelled as soon as i managed to finish going down the stairs as i ran to the kitchen holding the test in front of me, he seemed lost in his thoughts and barely looked at me with his eyes half closed.

''What's wrong babe?'' He took a sip of his drink almost falling off the chair when i hugged him tightly by the neck, his hand resting on my back as a smile spread across his face, it didn't matter if he was high or not, we always found our safe place in our arms.

''Look'' i smiled excitedly, almost jumping holding the test with both hands in front of his face making him blink a few times trying to focus on the small device that i moved uncontrollably with my trembling hands ''can you see it baby? Do you see it?''

''Wait…honey stop jumping I can't…I can't see what it is'' he laughed leaving the glass on the kitchen island, taking my hand in his focusing his eyes on the two thin lines ''Th…what is this?''

''Honey I'm pregnant, we're going to be parents'' His eyes opened wide between the strands of his dark hair, he felt his heart beating too hard, harder than normal, even harder than when he injects the dose of heroin into his left arm, he couldn't understand how he had created life, was he ready for this? What if he was a failure like his father was, he couldn't allow something like that to happen ''Honey? are you okay?''

''Yeah, it's just that..'' he kept looking at the floor, he seemed to be thinking too many things at the same time and none of them were good ''It's just that… wow… we're going to be parents''

''Yeah… you don't like the idea?'' my hands slowly lowered while he looked at me quickly shaking his head realizing that his reaction had make me feel insecure

''No, it's not that honey it's just that… I didn't expect this to happen so fast, it's like it was a dream you know..'' his hand slowly arranged a lock of hair behind my ear with his other hand hugging me slowly while i wrapped my arms around his neck ''I love you baby, you know that right?''

''Yeah I know'' i murmured into his neck, closing my eyes breathing in the scent of his hair and his perfume ''what do you think it is? "A boy or a girl?" my excitement make me explode again, letting go of the hug while my hands rested on his biceps, but after a gesture of pain and seeing how he quickly moved away from me, i looked at him scared. "Honey, are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"It's not… it's just that my arm hurts a little." His voice sounded nervous as she adjusted the long sleeves of her shirt. "Maybe it's because of the bass, don't worry, babe."

After that, there were few days where happiness roamed around the house, since i had married Nikki i had convinced him that i didn't need help to clean the house, i could do it, after all i were there almost all day and when he was on tour i were practically alone with nothing to do.

It was one of those days when i were cleaning the nightstands, throwing away old tickets and dusting the night lamps when i thought about cleaning the closet that Nikki took such good care of, after all it wouldn't hurt to dust it, so without thinking twice i approached the wooden doors and opened them without hesitation looking around, i could notice his stage outfits, the striped one, his leather pants, his boots.

I walked slowly, contemplating everything until i heard something crunch under my shoe. My eyes quickly looked at the floor, noticing that i had stepped on a needle, clearly used and dirty with blood. My eyes then adjusted to reality. On the floor there were dozens of used needles, strips of plastic, and a revolver on the carpet. I weren't stupid. I knew what i was seeing and what Nikki was doing in his "space."

The smell of weed and the blood stains made my stomach turn and i quickly ran to the bathroom, vomiting the lunch while holding my 2-month pregnant belly. After that, i felt totally exhausted. I didn't stop crying all day and i could barely take off your shoes to lie down on the bed.

It was almost 10 pm when Nikki came back from the studio and it seemed strange to him to call my name and not hear my voice anywhere, he looked towards the stairs expecting to see me running down to jump into his arms but nothing, it seemed like the house was empty, he went up to the room taking off his jacket when he noticed me lying down feeling a breath in his throat but soon he felt his breath cut off again when he looked at the open doors of his closet, he knew that his secret was no longer a secret.

''What is my closet doing open?'' He stopped in front of the bed looking at me with my red cheeks and my wet and irritated eyes without caring about how i was ''I'm talking to you… why is it''

''Since when do you do this?'' i could barely mention with my irritated throat feeling a lump forming again in my chest

''What does that matter, I asked you not to come in, I have never broken any promise, I have done everything you want and ask, I only asked you not to go in there'' his voice was getting louder with each word he said, his hands tangled in his hair and then ran down his face in frustration

''I don't give a damn if you broke anything or not of what you promised me Nikki, why are you doing it? why?'' i could barely sit up in bed sitting on the edge while i watched him as he walked back and forth

''That's not your problem…''

''It's my fucking problem since I agreed to marry you Nikki, I don't care what fucking promises you've broken or not, I'd rather find you with a whore in bed than this, at least I'd have the security that she wouldn't try to kill you, but this? Nikki you're ending your life'' my eyes could barely stay open, the tears came out one after another without me realizing it and my voice broke making my throat hurt even more

''You think I haven't tried? I can't stop I'm a fucking addict that's what you want to know? You married a drug addict'' His screams make me jump a little, i had never heard Nikki in that tone of voice

''I wouldn't have cared if you were a drug addict when I met you or after, if you had told me we would have sought help, why didn't you trust me Nikki?…why?''

''It's okay, love calm down'' He took a deep breath approaching me, kneeling between my legs taking myface carefully feeling his hands wet from the tears ''Honey, look at me, calm down think about our baby okay?…I'll seek help, I promise I just don't know how''

''Please stop, what am I going to do if you hurt yourself, what do I do if you die?..I can't do it alone Nikki'' This time i knew that the hormones weren't to blame for my reaction, i were really afraid of losing him, afraid of being alone, of not being part of all the plans we had made together

''I promise love, please excuse me'' his arms surrounded my waist while his face hid between my crotch and my small bulging belly '' I will do this for us, for our baby please trust me''

No, he didn't, just two months later i came home from shopping, it took me just 5 minutes to leave the bags in the kitchen and go up to the bedroom to change the shoes that made my feet swell when i found the room in a mess, the bed was unmade, the bedside lamps broken and there were clothes everywhere, i could walk slowly between the objects when i noticed the closet doors open.

I could barely run without tripping when suddenly i opened them completely and found him on the floor pulling a rubber band with his mouth that tied his left arm while with his other hand he injected a substance directly into his vein

"Nikki…no…no" i ran as fast as i could and barely managed to hold him in my arms when his dilated eyes seemed to have lost the light and he vanished into my legs.

Finally my worst fear came true, Nikki was dead.

My heart was skipping a beat, i felt my stomach turning and my head spinning, my hands held his face, no longer reacting and without hurting him i got up taking the cordless phone to go back to his side while i called 911 and held it calling his name

''Nikki please…please baby wake up'' my voice began to sound desperate while my eyes filled with tears ''Nikki please…Nik..hello?''

''911 what is your emergency?'' the lady on the other end of the line sounded tired, used to receiving calls all the time while my world was falling apart

''My husband is not responding, please send an ambulance please…Nikki wake up'' my hand slowly slap his cheek and then wiped the tears from my face and returned it to press his chest a couple of times

''Your husband is not responding? Is he hurt? What happened?'' There were too many questions for my limited ability to think at that moment

''I don't know, I went shopping and when I came back he was injecting himself with something in his arm and he passed out, please send help please I don't want him to die'' i could barely draw breath, i felt everything inside me collapsing and crumbling little by little

''I understand, please stay by his side, an ambulance is heading to the address on this phone, please stay with him''

Of course I would stay with him, I stayed while they put him in the ambulance and took him to the hospital, I stayed when they gave him CPR and two syringes went through his heart making him wake up, my heart stopped at that moment, there he was, looking at me disoriented without knowing what had happened, as if for him it had been just a bad dream, but for me it was hell on earth, I saw him die and I saw him come back to life.

I stayed with him in the hospital for two days, holding his hand as he slept, signing papers, barely eating, listening to the nurses speak pitifully about me. “Poor thing, she’s pregnant, she must be feeling awful,” they said over and over again every time a new nurse came into the room. Most of them did nothing, they just wanted to see if it was true that Nikki Sixx himself was there.

As soon as we got home, we slept for a whole day. He was exhausted and I was feeling much worse. I felt like my world had been taken away from me like a cruel joke and it had been returned to me after seeing me destroyed. I was afraid of waking up and not having him near me.

I couldn’t just stay in bed. As soon as he lay down next to me, my body joined his like magnets. My arm surrounded his body tightly, afraid that someone was going to take him away from me once again. My head rested on his right arm while his hand combed my hair until we both fell asleep.

But no, life was not easy. A couple of days later, while I was taking a bath, I felt a pain in my stomach, like cramps even worse than I had ever felt in my entire life. Then a hot liquid ran down my legs. I could see the white floor of the shower turning red. The blood did not stop, it ran and ran down the drain.

''Babe…Nikki'' I could barely hold on to the wall, turning off the water and grabbing a towel that I barely wrapped around my body, it turned red

''Love?..what happened?'' His face still looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes

''Help me…our baby'' I looked at him again feeling that sensation inside me, everything would be wrong again

It was in seconds when with his little strength he picked me up and took me to the car without caring about the towel or that he was without shoes, he just ran to the car and drove as fast as he could returning to the same hospital that we had just left.

Doctors, nurses all ran while placing an oxygen mask on my face, no one explained anything, I only heard Nikki's voice while holding my hand.

''Ok, honey you're bleeding and we need to stop it'' the older doctor looked at me placing a mask on his face while a nurse helped him fastening a white apron over his blue robe ''I'm sorry to tell you that we can't proceed with your baby and it's very likely that he no longer has vital signs, we need to save your life first ok?''

I didn't know how to feel at that moment, it was as if God had punished me, he gave me back Nikki but took my baby, why? Why was he doing this to me?…

''But…no'' my eyes searched through the bright lights of the room for Nikki's face, I could feel his hand and hear his voice but the big white spotlight wouldn't let me see him ''My baby…Nikki tell them no…no''

''Honey it's for your own good, our baby is in heaven now I only care about you ok? They must stop your bleeding and everything will be fine, you will be with me and I will be with you and more babies will come, calm down please baby''

I never imagined that I would give birth to my stillborn baby, it was like being in shock and forgetting everything that had happened and suddenly I found myself in a white room, similar to where Nikki had been, Tommy and Heather were with me and Nikki but they were not much help, when i could barely calm down Tommy would come crying making me feel bad again so Heather would take him to the hallway to calm him down.

When we returned home we both felt exhausted, no one had told us that we would live through all this in such a short time, why us?

I spent the days lying down, my mother visited us helping us make food and keeping us company, it was very helpful to listen to her while I lay on her legs as she combed my hair like when I was a child while she told me how she also lost a baby and after that painful loss my brother came into the world.

I also remember how she took advantage of the time I was sleeping to talk to Nikki who never left my side, she scolded him for being so irresponsible but at the same time she advised him. It was very comforting to see Nikki come down to the kitchen one day and hug my mother while kissing her cheek. “Thanks for breakfast, Mom.”

I knew what his childhood had cost him and seeing him smiling and spending time with my mother made me feel happy, as if his wounds were beginning to heal.

I had started painting again a month after our little angel left for heaven. I liked to sit in front of the window and draw flowers or the sky, It made me feel calm.

“Hello...” a light knock on the door made me turn to look at Nikki standing with her hands in her pockets. “Can I come in, baby?”

“Sure, you don’t have to ask,” I smiled, returning my gaze to the window, trying to imitate the color of the sunset.

“What are you doing, sugar?” I felt his arms go around my neck as he rested his chin on my shoulder '' is it the sky?''

''Yeah, but I can't find the color between the blue and orange of the sunset… it's so difficult and beautiful''

''I know… do you mind if I interrupt you a little?'' he looked at me like a little kid as he sat next to me on the floor

''Sure love, what happened?'' I looked at him a little returning my attention to the color palette in my hand

''Well… I want to be honest with you, from now on I won't keep any secrets from you okay?..''

''Ok?.. you're scaring me'' I looked at him lowering my color palette looking at him curiously

''Well… love I… I couldn't contain myself and… after well… you know our loss happened… I injected myself again… I felt really bad and I didn't think about it I just did it..'' his voice lowered little by little until it was silent as his hands played

''But Nikki…''

''Wait… I know I promised you and I'm sorry love I really am sorry it's just that… I know that losing our baby was my fault, I made you go through too much stress and I caused… all that to happen''

''No Nikki look at me, it's not your fault love'' my hands took his face slowly arranging his hair out of his face ''these are things that had to happen to grow and take this life more seriously don't blame yourself''

''It's just that… I don't want to make you go through so much anymore, I don't want to be a useless drug addict, you don't deserve it..'' his eyes showed so much regret, it was impossible for his words not to hurt ''I… I talked to the boys'' he looked at me taking a pamphlet out of his jacket giving it to me like a little boy ''we decided to seek help and join together to end all the addictions that made us complete idiots, it's a hospital and I want to go to so they can help me"

"I'm so proud of you…" I smiled at him feeling my eyes wet as I hugged him tightly and he returned the gesture by sitting me on his lap "You're going to make it, like everything you've achieved on your own, I'm going to support you in every step you take, I promise"

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It's been a year since Nikki and the boys sought help, they had their problems as a band after that but Nikki always reminded me ''It's band problems love, don't worry'' he had become such a calm and positive man that sometimes it was strange to miss the troubled Nikki Sixx.

It was 8am when I came out of a shower, a completely calm shower with no interruptions, I still managed to put some lotion on my body and some clean pajamas to go downstairs to make breakfast when I froze in front of the bed.

There was Nikki, holding our little Faith, it was so adorable and funny to watch them together, she almost disappeared in her daddy's wide arms as she held his finger and with her other little hand she held her head while sleeping, she took that pose from me.

I carefully placed a blanket over both of them, it was early November and the cold air was coming in through the only open window that Nikki refused to close, but it was impossible not to feel my heart melt and I carefully laid down behind him hugging him caressing the small chubby cheek of our little girl

''Don't wake her up..'' Nikki murmured making me smile ''I barely managed to get her to sleep''

''I'm sorry baby..I'm going to make breakfast'' I caressed his hair kissing his shoulder getting up slowly from the bed

I felt like our life was perfect after everything we had suffered, watching Nikki being the most loving and caring father with our Faith made me feel complete, when daddy was home there wasn't a second that he didn't have his little girl in his arms, it didn't matter if he was in his study or with the boys, he was the proudest father and he didn't lose sight of her even when Uncle Tommy carried her and played with her making her laugh.

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It's been 3 years since Faith came into our lives, now Vince has returned to the band and the boys are on a new tour around the country, Nikki barely had the schedule of dates and asked me to pack bags for me and Faith because he wanted us to be with him at all time.

''Look, honey, who's there?'' Faith was a little version of Nikki, her dark hair had been inherited from me but her beautiful eyes and features were totally from her daddy

''It's daddy'' she smiled clapping as she listened to the notes the boys played ''mommy, daddy is so cool''

''I know, daddy is the best'' she kept moving her little head with her pink headphones protecting her ears while I held her on my waist looking at the band.

Nikki kept looking at us, I could see how from time to time his attention focused on us on the side of the stage, blowing kisses towards us but I encouraged Faith to respond to those kisses telling her that they were all for her, she is totally a daddy's girl.

''Mommy, when are we going to tell daddy?'' Her green eyes looked at me as she innocently fluttered her eyelashes

''We'll tell him tonight but for now it's our secret okay?'' I smiled at her giving her a kisses attack on her little face making her laugh

No one said it would be easy being Mrs. Sixx and now it would be a little less easy with another Sixx growing inside me.

[prettyyoungandbored]

Crushes [’You and I’ Side Story]

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x Female Reader

Author’s Note: Takes place before the events of “You and I.” I was driving through Hollywood and saw a cute couple that reminded me of these two. So thank you, random strangers.

Nikki exhaled as he closed the door behind him. He was relieved to be home after a somewhat mediocre gig.

London was slowly but surely losing its edge. He could feel it and mentally, he was preparing himself for the eventual breakup.

He made his way into the bedroom, setting down his bass. His head turned to see Y/N curled up in bed, hugging his pillow. He smiled, throwing off his shirt.

He knew she felt bad that she couldn’t make it to the show. She worked a double at the diner for the second time that week, exhausting her. He told her there would be other shows. He wasn’t so sure now, but either way her rest was more important.

His pants hit the floor and he kicked it away. He lifted the blanket and crawled under the covers. He threw an arm around her waist, moving his body closer to hers.

Just as he was about to close his eyes, he heard whimpering.

Her whimpering.

He opened his eyes, hoping she was having a sexual dream. But then he noticed the scrunching in her face and realized he needed to step in. He leaned up and gently shook her.

“Babe, babe, babe,” he coaxed her.

Her eyes shot open as she let out a sharp gasp. Her hand was on her chest and he moved closer to her, putting his hand on hers.

“Hey, it’s ok,” he soothed her. “Babe, look at me,”

She turned her head to him as he pulled her into his arms.

“You’re ok,” he assured her, kissing her forehead. “You’re safe.”

She let out a final sigh. “Fuck.”

“Bad dream?”

“That’s putting it lightly. One of the scariest dreams I’ve had in a long time.”

She leaned back onto the pillow, the palm of her hand rubbing her eyes as if that would take away the memories of her dream.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured, his fingers carding through her hair. “It’s over and you’re safe. I promise.”

She looked over at him, flashing a small but grateful smile. She moved her body to him, snuggling her face into his chest and letting the smell of sweat, cigarettes, and Jack Daniel’s soothe her.

He smirked. “I can think of one way to get your mind off it.”

He leaned his head down to see her smirking back at him. “Nice try, Sixx.”

He chuckled as he kissed the top of her head again. “Worth trying.”

She hummed in agreement. If she had woken up on her own without a nightmare, maybe.

“How was your gig?” she asked.

“Eh, it was a gig,” he replied with a shrug. “We were good. The band before us fucking sucked though. They were a bunch of KISS wannabes which made it worse.”

“You don’t like KISS?”

“I thought they were cool when I was a kid, but they didn’t stick with me like other bands did.” He glanced down at her. “What about you?”

“I had a big KISS phase.”

He paused. “That…somehow does not surprise me. Did Gene Simmons’ tongue do it for you?”

“No, but Paul Stanley did.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Really?”

She looked up at him. “You judging me, Sixx?”

“A little, yeah,” he snorted. “I wouldn’t have taken you to as a lead singer kind of girl.”

“I’m not,” she insisted. “I actually find other musicians who play other instruments in other bands attractive.”

A pang of jealousy hit Nikki, but he wasn’t going to show it. Instead, he smirked. “Oh yeah? Name ‘em.”

She propped up on her elbow, her eyes meeting his. “Eddie Van Halen, guitarist. You should know that considering I told you that I lost my virginity to a Van Halen song.”

Nikki made a face. “Yeah, I sorta pushed that out of my mind because I don’t like hearing there were others before me.”

“There was only one, Mr. Possessive,” she reminded him, poking his nose.

“Yeah, yeah. Ok, Van Halen is fine. Who else is there? You’re forgetting a big one.”

“I am?” she questioned. Then she snapped her fingers. “Oh yeah!”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Drummer!”

Nikki’s face fell. “That’s not-.”

“Roger Taylor from Queen.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “So those are your choices? Paul Stanley, Eddie Van Halen, and Roger Taylor? You sure you’re not missing any other key band members you find attractive?”

She thought for a moment. “Ok so there is a bassist.”

“But it’s not Gene Simmons.”

“It’s not Gene Simmons.”

“Ok,” he nodded. “Tell me more.”

She rest her chin on his chest, sighing dramatically. “I don’t know if you know him.”

He knew damn well where this going, but he was down to play her game. “I might.”

“He plays for this band London.”

He chuckled. “London…yeah, I’ve heard of ‘em.”

“So he’s super sexy.”

“Super sexy? Sexier than the men on your list?”

“Definitely.”

“Ooh. Ok, go on.”

“He plays like a god. Like his talent is incredible.” She snuggled close. “He has impeccable stage presence.”

“Impeccable?! That’s some high praise, princess. What else?”

“He’s got black hair. Gorgeous eyes.”

He hummed. “Gorgeous you say?”

She nodded. “He’s also really good at comforting a girl after a nightmare.”

His jaw dropped, slapping his hand on his chest. “It’s me?”

“Surprise!” she giggled.

He leaned his head back. “Wow! I don’t know what to say. I didn’t see it coming.”

She laughed, burying her face in his chest.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Out of all those crushes, which one do you like the most?”

She snorted and lifted her head up. “Who do you think?”

He shrugged. “You tell me.”

“Do you need me to stroke your ego some more?”

“So it is me?!”

She rolled her eyes as he threw his head back laughing. “You’re lucky I think you’re cute.”

“Obviously you do since you have a crush on me,” he reminded her. “So embarrassing.”

She pulled her lips back. “We live together, dumbass.”

He kissed her nose. “For what it’s worth, I have a crush on you too.”

She hummed. “And how many other crushes do you have?”

“Just one. You. You’re it for me.”

“Until you become a big rockstar and then have groupies.”

“Nope. I’m always gonna have a crush on you.”

She snorted. “Yeah, ok then.”

His smile quickly fell flat as his dark eyes softened. “Hey, I’m serious. I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”

The sincerity in his tone lifted warmed Y/N’s heart. She always knew he was serious about her, but every now and again, she needed a reminder that he loved her even if he couldn’t outright say it.

It was an issue she knew she would have to work on.

“And Y/N? I’m never going to let anything happen to you. I promise you’re safe with me.”

She pecked his lips before snuggling back into his chest. “I know. And I know you know you’re safe with me.”

His hand rubbed her back soothingly. “I know.”

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑 ; 𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐤𝐢 𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐱 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

!! disclaimer before we start this girliez !!

it's gonna be a multi-part fic

it's based on the movie (i read about the band's and nikki's life, but it'd be complicated)

fem!reader will be half russian and half of another nation (you can insert yours here)

it's gonna have some TW parts as cussing, drugs, sex, miscarriage, depression so please read with caution!!

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏.

word count: 2.308k trigger warning: cursing, pole dance, smoking

1981, hollywood, sunset boulevard

♡ 𝐘/𝐍 ♡

the fake lashes tickled her eyes as one of her colleagues helped her to ruffle up her hair, well, if you can name the other girls who pole dances with you in a night club 'colleagues'.

"i fucking hate this shit" she muttered, putting lipstick on her lips. jessica, the girl who helped her shrugged her shoulders.

"when you're done with that, you can go off with a guy. old men pays way much more then the broke, skinny rock and roll wannabe-ones."

"it's a good idea jess, but i want to use my young years, and maybe get a normal relationship." y/n knew that this decade had its own fuckboys, just like the teddy-boys in the 60s with long coats and hair with much gale, and the hippies in the 70s with those fucking irritating and bad-looking flares and too much color, and now... they had log hair, black clothes and bulked up with studs, now just on their clothes, but on their face, too. sometimes it was fucking disgusting, even worse than punks, but other times, it was pleasant dig into a boy's long hair while he ate her out.

"your choice, baby. two minutes and simon will come in, so prepare yourself." simon was the guy who talked with them; when to go to the stage and when their shift ended, handing out the girls' 'salaries' to them, always in cash, of course. dancing here wasn't her first option; y/n wanted to go to somewhere, where an audience could tell that she had a good voice, or just tell her to fuck off, getting into dancing and singing, acting universities were difficult and expensive to get in. but since she had to pay the bills in the house she shared with two other girls, collecting money wasn't that easy.

in two hours, she was dancing in the big area on the counter, letting men tuck money into her panties and throw it in the front of her legs. shaking and crawling her body to the music, she almost completely shut the world out from her own world. at least she could dance, and she liked dancing, as soon as...

a bolting light shone through the bar. it was impossible to miss that is was a camera light. what the fuck, she turned and saw a couple of guys standing there, making pictures in front of where she was dancing.

"the guys will be so jealous when they're gonna see this! okay, brad, could you-"

"what the fuck do you think are you doing?" y/n stopped dancing, getting their attention.

"just making some pictures, don't worry, babe."

"don't fucking babe me! you can't take pictures here, do you understand?" she hollered, climbing down from the counter.

"could you take a picture about us with your friend in the back? or could you call down her?"

y/n snatched the camera from them.

"if you don't fuck off, i'm gonna trash this piece of shit."

"i'd listen to the girl." two other guy stepped in, they had long hair just like the rockers they probably listened to. one of them, the curlier and brown one carried a drumstick with himself, tucked into his belt.

"sorry, but what the fuck are you?" fuckface brad's one friend asked him.

"just a guy who walks in here from time to time and doesn't break the rules."

"i don't fucking care, could you please go away? we have to take some pictures, give me back that shit!"

"this?" y/n asked, looking at the camera, then, with her heart stomping in her chest, she trashed it down to the ground, breaking it into thousands of pieces. the fuckfaces got shocked.

"are you fucking mad?!"

"you deserved it anyway", the drumstick-boy's friend said, but the next moment, y/n got a punch into her face, crashing into the counter where people stood before it. looking up, she felt something warm running down to her lips, but instead of crying being hurt, she grabbed the nearest bottle she could find, breaking it, she successfully scratched the boy's arm.

"fuck you!" she screamed, aggressively waving the bottle in front of her. "fuck off, right now, motherfuckers!"

"y/n, what the fuck are you doing?" simon got in the picture. y/n looked around; some of the guests and jessica stared at them, the rocker boys stopped punching the other two guy as she fretted the third of them with a broken bottle. "if you do it again, you are gonna get fired!"

the girl looked at him, laughing, grabbing as much as money she could.

"yeah? then you won't gonna get the chance to fire me, because i quit! fuck you, simon, and fuck everybody in this craphole! i'm done!" screaming, she walked back to collect her things. not saying a word to anyone, carrying her clothes and her wallet, she walked beside simon, pushing his shoulder with hers as he tried to talk with her. but now, she was mad and unstoppable.

"you can never go back here if you quit now!" simon yelled to her as she stood at the door, now everybody staring at them.

"you know what simon?" she asked, licking her lips. iron from blood. with money in one hand, she dropped her things for a second and showed up both of her middle fingers.

turning around, she left the place that was her second place to go, but not her second home. out the door, she saw that people were staring into the bar, probably they heard the fight.

"hey dude! give me a fucking cigarette." getting one, they lit it to her.

"do you know what happened? we heard yelling and screaming." a woman asked, y/n nodded, blowing out the smoke.

"yeah, it was me. and don't come here, because the motherfuckers replace half of the whiskey with water." then walking away, she sat down on the side of the road, smoking the stick between her lips as she put on her skirts, top and her jacket. she couldn't think about what's gonna be with her. there was always a place for a crawling, dancing girl who could dress up as a slut.

"hey, are you okay?"

turning around, it was the same two guy who tried to defend her. she couldn't blame them, she blamed the brad-kinda assholes. holding the cig with her hand now, she bit her lip.

"except that the fact that now i'm jobless, that my face hurts and got rearranged, i'm pretty good, thanks." they sat down beside her.

"we're sorry for what happened. but we beat them up."

"you were cool, too! with that broken bottle. i'm tommy, by the way, and he's nikki."

"i can talk myself too, tom."

"i'm y/n. and that's my job... well, was."

"sorry that we couldn't stop it." nikki looked at her. he had pretty, green eyes, not the ones she could see everyday.

"don't worry, it was just a matter of time. otherwise, if i have to handle those three, maybe i'd be in jail now. and i hate this shit", she added, tearing down the fake lashes.

"would you actually stab them?" tommy asked.

"of course. if they break the rules, i break them head." at that, the two of them looked each other. "what? you don't meet girls everyday who smash others for being a motherfucker?"

"no, most of my girlfriends cry and scream, or throw something at me." tommy shrugged his shoulders. "i'm gonna borrow some cigs, do y'all want some?"

"yes, please." y/n said, and nikki nodded, also. now, it was just the two of them. she turned to the guy.

"and you? any troubled girl?" he shook his head.

"not one yet. but an upcoming band, and it's gonna be fire."

"upcoming band? you drive in bands?"

"yeah. but the last one was shit, it was called london."

"bands with names of towns never work, didn't anybody tell you that before?" nikki laughed at her question. "well, now you know. and any plans about the new one?"

"it's gonna be... the best band you've ever seen. but i still need some members in it, now i only have tommy. so tell me, can you sing?"

it this the hand of fate? y/n was far too much played to believe in some guy's promises and questions.

"well, nobody wanted to beat me when i was carousing in my rent." laughing at this, nikki turned to her.

"maybe if you can really sing, i'll count a frontwoman into my band."

"frontwoman? don't joke with me." y/n shook her head at his words.

"why would i joke? why do you think it's a joke?"

"because i got fucked up by some people before, and i don't believe to empty promises. see, i'll go there, and if the band is cool, then i'm in."

tommy came back, handing the cigarettes to them, showing up a bottle alcohol.

"guys, i found this on the ground, it's only half empty!" he said, making y/n grimace.

"watch out, maybe it's piss. happens a lot of time." the two guy laughed again.

"were did you learn these comments?" tommy asked. y/n shrugged her shoulders, letting nikki light her cigarette.

"anywhere. i spent my childhood with people i learned a lot from."

"were you in orphanage?" nikki asked, and she nodded. another piece of ash falling to the ground.

"kinda. i grew up in sacramento, and getting out from it, i came here."

"that's fine. i sent my mother into jail, but she was an asshole anyway." nikki added, making y/n pull up her eyebrows, nodding approvingly.

"hard."

"do you wanna go to party? tommy?" the guy asked, tommy shook his head.

"sorry, but i gotta be home. i think that girl broke up with me, but anyway, it was nice to meet you, y/n."

"see you again, toms."

"how so?"

"your friend just invited me to sing in his upcoming band, the one that never anybody has seen before." she teased nikki.

"wow, that's cool! i thought we're gonna have a guy, but that's okay."

"can't i be as good as a guy?" she asked back, making tommy look at nikki. "whatever, it's only a trial."

as tommy got away, y/n finished her second cigarette. "it was a pleasure to meet you, nikki, but i gotta search for a new place to work."

"really?"

"why? until 4am, they're open. it's not a big deal."

"come and party with me instead of it. or just sit down and talk, hm?" the girl smiled at this, rolling her eyes.

"are you trying to fuck me? other guys just pay me the drinks and help me to get to the bathroom."

"no, i just wanna get to know more about you. you're probably not pure american, judging by your accent." nikki answered, helping her stand up. y/n looked at him.

"it's true that i'm a half-blood. half russian, half (y/na). every cop asks for my id, everybody thinks that i'm a fucking illegal immigrant, but i'm just as an american citizen as this fucking ford!" she said, pointing at the car beside them.

"fuck the police anyway. and... you said that you were a foster kid, how so?"

"i don't want to talk about it. besides, not everybody's choice to get their parents int jail."

the truth was that her mother was truly an illegal immigrant, and in the short half and a year she was in the states, she got pregnant with her from a fellow guy she met with. when y/n was born, her mother had a beautiful, lovely six months with her baby, but then, one day the police knocked on her door. having no father and living in a mother's home, it was an instant way to get into orphanage.

"i'm sorry about that. do you want to forget these things with some booze?" nikki asked as they turned down on the road.

"do you have an actual place to live?" she asked him.

"do you have a place to stay?" nikki asked back.

"hell yeah, just because i'm stated as a slut by the society, i'm not a homeless one!" y/n spread her arms beside them, almost slapping a guy. they both laughed at that. "lead me to your place."

"right away, princess." he replied, setting his arm around her shoulder. "can i?" nikki looked at her, y/n looked up to her from her real eyelashes.

"what?"

"people can think that we're going up to me to fuck." y/n laughed, shrugging her free shoulder.

"and do i look like i give a fuck about what they think?"

♡ 𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐊𝐈 ♡

y/n could be only one girl from all those who he met through the years, but she wasn't. he was unsure about that he really should invite her to the band, because if they really would get famous, everybody would bully her do death. and maybe she wouldn't get it on herself, but he would blow up from all the shit she'd get. looking at her, he only knew her a couple hours ago, but the way she protected herself from the creeps in the bar in underwear, the way she talked, she could be a pure ghetto chick, but she was more than that. it was like... she born into the wrong place, wanting to be more than she was now.

"is something bad? or are you just thinking?" she asked him.

"what? no, i just hope that i locked the windows before i started the night."

"i fancy the simple fact that you are a guy who is capable of thinking."

he wasn't a fan of fast and strong emotions, but if she doesn't stop replying sarcastically, he's gonna marry her.

it was just a matter of time...

...and tons of drugs, music and trouble.

𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓.

a/n: i gotta get into writing since i just got back, but i hope you still like it. if you want to get on the taglist, dm, comment or write here

take care and stay safe girliez

[oskea93]

Keep it to Yourself (1)

✶ Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x OC ✶

Warning: This story will contain scenes of drug/alcohol use, sexual content, mentions of death, overdose, physical and emotional abuse. Please read at your own risk. I do not own rights to Motley Crue or any other famous person mentioned. Portions of this story will be pulled from Motley's book and film The Dirt as well as The Heroin Diaries. There will be parts that are complete fiction as well.

Taglist: @fancywasmyname1, @kaitieskidmore1, @xxisxxisxxis, @sparxx27,  @cruecifymesixx, @tempt-ress, @a-sia-san, @x-xinenas, @casualcomputerarbiter-blog​, @makaelahdelvalle

Author's note: Hello everybody! It's been a while since I thought about this story but now I want to bring it back to life. I think I rewatched The Dirt about 20 times in the past couple of days (Thanks snowstorm!) and i've been thinking about this story and all the other amazing Crue stories that are on Tumblr. So, with that being said - I have decided to rewrite Keep it to Yourself. I went back and read the original version and I want to revamp it in a way. I've changed a couple things and I hope to make it better than before. If you were tagged in the original version, I went ahead and just tagged you for this new update. If you would like to be removed, just let me know and I will take you off. If you aren't a part of the taglist and would like to be, just let me know and I will get you added. I hope you enjoy the new and improved Keep it to Yourself!

“Bryant –“ He paused. “I know I’m probably the last voice you wanna hear on your answering machine, but I desperately need your help right now.” A breathy sigh blew through the speaker. “I’m at my wits end and I have no idea what to do with him.”

I stared at the device – my hand curled against my mouth as his words flowed through my living room. “The drugs are constant – he’s high 24/7 – Half the time I don’t even know if he’s alive or dead when I get into his room. It’s not just him – they’re all fucked – but he’s the only one with one foot in the casket.”

How he got my number remained a mystery. They made him millions of dollars – more money than the man could even count – yet he was calling me about his issue. From the beginning, I told him that it would only get worse. The guy had issues way before he formed Motley – way before the money and fame came into the picture. Sure - he dabbled in drugs before hitting peak stardom, but the money was there, and he was a kid in a candy store.

“I know the two of you ended on such a sour note, but I feel like you’re the only one that can truly help him get out of this fucking mess. He needs you – I – we all need you, Bryant.” He went on to leave the number to the hotel they were staying at for the night. Begging one last time for my help. I must’ve played the damn message 10 times – each time making my anger rise. Doc was the one who let it get to this point – he fueled the fire when it should’ve been sprayed out years ago. He pushed the drugs in their direction – Nikki was always a step ahead though. He attracted the slime that had the harder, faster drugs. The drugs that would make him feel nothing when in reality his whole fucking world was crumbling down…

I continued to move the spoon around the cup, the sugar long dissolved by now. I was so lost in my own thought – Doc’s words swirling around in my brain.

“You’re thinking about going, aren’t you?” The brunette in front of me asked. “I know that look and that look tells me that you’re giving in.”

Hannah Hastings was the first person I met when I moved to South Carolina. She was an event planner – a free spirit in a Dynasty like world. She would spend hours on my couch, a bottle of wine being shared, as I spilled my entire life story into her lap. She knew all about my history with Nikki – how we met – our marriage – and the demise of our relationship.

I let out a sigh, “I don’t wanna go but something’s telling me that if I don’t –“ I paused. “If I don’t go, he’s gonna end up dead and then I’ll be blaming myself. At least if I go and say I tried and I don’t succeed, I won’t beat myself up if something does happen to him. Like – It’s not even a matter of if – it’s a matter of when.”  

“He was such an asshole though, Bryant. The man was toxic to you-“She reached across the table taking my hand in hers. “I don’t want to see you get hurt or worse. You know how drug addicts are – he could get violent and not even realize it until it’s too late.”

During the three years we were together, he never laid a hand on me. I was the one who had the heavy touch. Sure, we had awful arguments that pushed me to the point of slapping and pushing him away, but he always stormed off before touching me. The drugs at the time weren’t as hardcore as they are now though. I could walk in his house and come back out with a bullet hole this time. Hannah was right – drugs fucked with people’s brain – I’m sure Nikki was already there.

“Are you gonna tell Wyatt?”

I slumped back in my seat at the thought of telling my Uncle Wyatt. To say he hated Nikki would be an understatement. He warned me from the beginning that Nikki Sixx would be nothing but trouble, but I didn’t listen. He was used to guys like Nikki – being a kid from the wrong side of the tracks himself. He made a promise that he would do everything he could to protect me from men like Nikki. We only had each other and when Nikki came into the picture, the worst type of thoughts ran through his head. He knew what guys like Nikki did to girls like me – innocent until proven insane. It happened to my mother – her infatuation sending her straight to the grave.

“I figured I would just call him when I got to California-“Her eyes growing large. “You know so he can’t talk me out of it or worse come and get me.”

She shook her head in disbelief, “You know I love you and I’ll support you in any way –“I felt a “but” coming along. “But –“She smiled. “This is one decision I’m very wary about, Bryant.”

I felt the same way. I had multiple scenarios playing like film reels over and over in my head. Some pretty good while others resembled horror movies. Even I knew that Nikki’s reaction to seeing me would not be a good one. He broke my heart, and I broke his even worse. Besides the band, I was his only true constant. He barely had any family – his grandparents living states away – not even aware of their grandson’s antics. Sure, the art of touring and going to different states brought about groupies and so-called friends but he didn’t have anyone to call or return home to. I was that person for him.

“You and me both, sister…”

I waited for the line to connect – the operator being nice enough to connect me straight to his room. Doc and I didn’t really have a relationship. He was Motley’s manager and at the time I was just a wife. I was glad the guys had him at first – their success was growing like a wildfire but that was because of their drive for stardom – Doc was just there lending a helping hand. He was extremely pissed when I ended things with Nikki. His own mouth spewing curse words my way once Nikki was served with divorce papers.

It makes the band look bad when a member gets divorced.

Nikki refuses to get out of bed and it’s all your fucking fault.

Girls all over the world would stay with Nikki no matter what – cheating, drugs – Learn to turn a blind eye.

“Hello?” I sat straighter as Doc’s voice sounded – my thoughts suddenly escaping me. “Hello?”

“It’s me.” My voice cracking. “I – uh – I got your message.”

“Oh, thank God, Bryant.” He sounded relieved. “I was worried that I would miss your call –“He paused. “Or if you would even call at all.”

I stayed silent – not really up for conversation.

“Listen, I know this is a bit of a tall ask, but I really do need your help. Nikki – hell all the guys for that matter – are ticking fucking time bombs. Nikki’s clock is etching closer to midnight ever second the fucker breaths – and I pray every night that he’s still doing so. He’s high ever second of every day. He shoots up when he wakes and right before he passes out for the night. I have no idea what he’s even taking anymore. Shooting up, snorting, smoking – he’s the walking picture of Nancy Reagan’s campaign.”

My grip on the phone tightened as he spoke – realizing that he was more far gone than thought.

“I need you to come out here and help us deal with him. I think Doug and Fred can deal with the other three, but we can’t get through to Nikki. Fuck, it’s not even Nikki anymore that we’re dealing with. He’s so mean and terrible to be around. His moods go from zero to sixty – it’s even worse when he’s coming down. Poor Tommy’s getting married, and I can’t even imagine Nikki standing up there with him when he’s high off his ass. You’re the only one that I think can get through to him – he still loves you, Bryant.”

He still loves you, Bryant.

Maybe the old version of Nikki was still in love, but I can assure you the drugged-up version was only in love with his high. That was Doc’s way of trying to lure me in – telling me that Nikki still loved and cared about me. I still loved and cared for the guy too – the Nikki I met at a 7-Eleven almost 6 years ago. Pre-Motley Crue – before the fame, drugs, egos, and women.

“I’ll pay for your ticket out here and everything if you agree, Bryant.” He stressed. “I’m desperate – he’s gonna die if we don’t do something.”

I let out a sigh, closing my eyes, asking myself if I really wanted to do this. It was a constant battle with my head and my heart. My brain was yelling at me to tell Doc to fuck off, but my heart couldn’t deal with the thought of Nikki no longer being here. “You think seeing me will snap him out of this spiral?”

“I think seeing you will probably piss him off more but at least I know you’ll be there and have the chance to stop him.”

My brows furrowed at his comment, “You’re making it sound like I’m gonna be with him at all times?”

His silence confirming my question. “You can’t expect me to stay in the same house, hotel room, or wherever with Nikki –“

“That’s exactly what you’re going to do, Bryant.” He cut me off. “I need that man to have constant surveillance – can’t put a bodyguard in there with him. He needs to have someone that he’s familiar with – someone that’s gonna remain sober and not give into his advances.”

“Then why don’t you stay with him then?” My attitude starting to come out.

“I’d end up killing him and then all of this would be for nothing.”

I shook my head as I pulled the phone away from my ear. I could hear Doc’s voice as he continued to talk. “Listen-“ I spoke up, cutting his sentence off. “I will come out there but I’m only there for a week. Once that week is up, whether he’s getting help or not, I’m going back home.”

“That’s not gonna work, Bryant.” He huffed. “He gets more fucked up when he’s out on the road than he does at home. These fuckers waiting in back alleys and backstage – knowing that he’s looking to score – that’s where I need you the most.

I’d been on tour with Motley when they were first getting their feet wet. I watched as they performed their first gig at the Starwood and then when they were opening for bigger acts like Ozzy. Going on tour with four men – the four Motley men was not for the faint of heart. I saw more body parts than I cared to see. Drugs, alcohol, and women were being pushed in their direction – more so as their popularity grew than before. Nikki and I shared a bunk and even that got old after a while. Living with four men for months on end would cause any woman to eventually lose it. Nikki and I were constantly fighting. Hell, I was fighting with everyone, even Mick at times. This was their dream, and it was my absolute living hell.

“I don’t th-“

“What do I need to do so you will say yes? Walk on water – swallow arsenic? Please, Bryant. I have never been so desperate in all of my life.” His voice wavering. “You were in love with this man at one point – I believe you may still love him. Just remember the reason why you fell in love with Nikki and do it for that reason."

[michelle-is-writing]

Left behind ch.1, Nikki Sixx

Word Count: 1.1k~

TW!: mention of drug and alcohol use, angst

People know drugs are bad for you; that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is the fact that drugs hurt not only the person who’s taking them but the people close to them as well. Combine them with an addiction to alcohol, and you’re in for an absolute shit show.

When I met Nikki at one of his first-ever shows, I knew he was something special. Not just because he was an upcoming rockstar but because I could tell there was something about him that made me feel like I was flying. When his eyes met mine later on at the bar, I could tell I was in for trouble, but at the time, it was the good kind of trouble. The trouble that sends you in over your head with your heart beating like a racehorse in your chest as you soar through the sky.

However, I should’ve remembered that everything that goes up must come down because, after a while, I came crashing to the ground. A relationship that I truly thought would turn into a marriage became a train wreck, and I found myself holding onto the remains of what once was. The words “Two against the world” were often used by Nikki when he felt especially romantic, but now, they held no meaning.

Anytime they had a tour, I always went with them, and at first, it was fun. When parties were going on and Motley Crue attended, we never stopped laughing. Nikki and I would always stay close with his arm wrapped around my waist and my body pushed against his side. Oftentimes, we’d happen to look at each other, and a bright smile would fill our faces as if we were so happy just to see each other. Then, it was like one day, that changed. Nikki didn’t want me going to parties with him, and he stopped holding me any chance he got. It was as if he didn’t want anything to do with me.

Weeks passed, and I watched Nikki grow worse and worse every day. I knew he was doing drugs, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He knew how I felt about it too, so before I could say anything else, he either walked away or changed the subject entirely. I felt like I was losing him, and I tried to do something about it. It didn’t work, however. Instead, it showed me that I was wrong; I wasn’t losing him - I had already lost him.

“Why do you always do this? As soon as I get off stage, you wanna start shit!” Nikki yelled as I stood a few feet away from him backstage, my arms crossed against my chest. “What is it with you lately?! You’re always in a mood lately.”

“I’m in a mood?” I asked him, rolling my eyes as Nikki threw himself down onto the backstage room’s couch. “What about you? All you ever do is drink and get high!” Walking around the couch to face him, I looked at him with nothing but anger. “You weren’t always like this, Nikki! You used to be sweet and happy; you were never this cruel,” sitting down on the coffee table in front of him, I watched as he stared at me with an unchanging face. “What happened?”

As soon as my question left my lips, Nikki sat up straight. “You,” he answered me, his tone dark and unwavering. “You’re what happened.”

All I could do was stare at him in absolute confusion. That wasn’t my Nikki; he would never say that to me. He was always positive and loving; the only times he had ever gotten mean were the times he was teasing me, and we would playfully go back and forth. This, however, was something different.

“What the hell are you talking about, Nikki?” I asked him, my anger forming a pit in my stomach. "Why would you even say something like that? You-"

“Because it’s the truth!” Nikki swiftly cut me off, jumping up from his seat with a sudden vigor. “No matter what I do, you’re always putting me down! I’m tired of this shit!” With every word, Nikki accentuates himself by holding his arms out. “I don’t want to see you anymore! F-Fuck all these years, it’s over!”

Those words rang in my head over and over again as I slowly began to pick myself up and gather my stuff. Nikki only stared as I did so, not saying anything more. “It’s over!” I could hear Nikki say as I neared the door, but it was only in my mind as Nikki remained silent. The only noise in the room came from me opening the door, turning to give Nikki one more once-over before I left, not knowing where I’d go. “Nikki,” I started, his eyes lingering on mine as they welled with tears. “I hope… I hope you’re happy.”

With that, I walked out with all of my belongings from the past five years, almost too much for me to carry. Heading to the ticket station for a bus back to LA, I try my hardest to blink away my tears, but I fail as the people passing me on the sidewalk give me strange glares. I can’t help but be upset. I’m leaving behind all that I’ve known for the last several years, and I’m still not sure what I’m going to do. Besides, I didn’t even get to tell Nikki I had some news for him, but then again, if I drag him down as much as he says I do, then a child certainly isn’t going to help that.

Just the thought of raising the current life inside my womb makes me want to stop and sob, but the thought of doing it all on my own makes it even worse. However, I have to do what’s best for my child, and having a heroin-addicted father isn’t what’s best. When Nikki gets clean (if he does), that’s when he can come back into our lives. I wish I could be there for him to help him get clean, but at this point, I think he’s beyond my help. In a moment where I need him, he needs something stronger than me.

Read Chapter 2 here!

[rocketqueen1989x]

IMPORTANT/PLEASE READ

would you guys like me to do imagines on Jim Morrison and mötley crüe ?

let me know in the comments and send requests or ideas if you want :)

[teddypickerry]

nikki sixx (himself or douglas booth! nikki) x reader

Could you do one where the reader happens to also be a bassist and they’re both in Crüe, they’ve been close friends for a while and Mick notices that they’ve developed a close relationship and he has a talk with Nikki since Mick is like a older brother to the reader. Meanwhile Tommy attempts to flirt with the reader trying to push Nikki to confess.

Pretty much a cute fluff imagine :)

𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐌.

pairings — nikki sixx x fem! band member reader (also reader x tommy kinda)

word count — 919

warnings — just cursing & suggestive dialogue (it’s mötley mf)

a/n — lowkey disappeared off this app for a month just to come back with a shitty fic. anyways, writing as mick is so fucking fun.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" A common phrase heard by each and every member of Mötley Crüe. When Mick Mars so suddenly spoke it to the bassist, who was currently stuffing his face with pasta. "Eating?" Nikki had asked hesitantly, confused why Mick was stood in his dressing room with a bottle of something strong. It definitely wasn't lemonade. "No, that's not what I mean."

"Well, you asked," Nikki scoffed at the guitarist's words while Mick pulled up and a chair to the couch. Nikki was alone in his dressing room, for the first time in forever. No groupies, no girls. Which was different for the bassist... practically against his religion. "What the hell are you doing with Y/N?"

Oh. That was enough to make the bassist choke on his food as he threw the bowl to the couch, swallowing down the food with a swig of Jack Daniels. He finally coughed and calmed down. Mick was still staring at him like he'd just walked into Nikki banging his daughter. "She's my friend, she's your friend. Fucking whatever."

"Shitty excuse," Mick scoffed as he sat back in the chair and took another comfortable sip. He wasn't giving up anytime soon, which was obvious by his body language. "God, what do you want, Mars?"

"Stop being a little fucker and ask the girl out already. I shouldn't have to tell you how to do every fucking thing, Sixx." Mick scoffed making Nikki roll his eyes, trying to keep his tough-guy demeanor. "And, don't fuck it up. She's special, she's our bandmate. And she's beautiful, graceful, and she'll punch you in the face. So, don't be a jackass."

"Nice talk," Nikki commented as he stood up and began to hairspray his hair in the mirror in preparation for their show later that night. Mick's words stuck in Nikki like heroin. He started thinking about them and he knew he was right. He had to face his feelings and get it out of his system. It wasn't that easy, you were a member of the band. You weren't some chick. A disastrous relationship would lead to the end of the band. The band you'd all worked your asses off to create.

"I didn't mean do it eventually, I meant now. Before Tommy fucks her in the back alley," Mick added making Nikki turn to him in horror. The sleazy drummer had a way of stealing Nikki's girls, vice versa. It was an ongoing game between the two, a pretty girl equals one of them getting her. But this time... Nikki would bet his life on this round.

The bassist bolted out of his dressing room and past the millions of randos backstage. His feet carried him down the hall toward the stage, where he knew everyone was setting up for rehearsal. Specially where he heard the sound of your laugh and the sound of drumsticks falling to the ground. That was a pretty easy trail to his best friends. Which did in fact lead to the drummer twirling his sticks in his fingers, you stood prepping your own bass with a smile.

"You've got a great smile," Tommy grinned with his typical cocky look. You'd known Tommy for years on end and his innocent flirting never stopped. It also never bothered you, as it was all you knew from the bastard drummer. But over the past few months, Nikki seemed to bite back a glare anytime he heard it from either Vince or Tommy. "I mean it, really."

"Thanks, T-Bone," You flashed him your small grin before going back in with another pack of pics. You tested out a quick riff for the sound crew as Nikki simply stood there, finally erupting from the shadows. Tommy took this as an invitation — knowing he could get Sixx all hot and bothered with a few simple words. He twisted the drumsticks with his fingers as he glanced between you and Nikki. His eyes landed on you. "You think you could do this?"

"I mean it's not rocket science," You mocked while taking the bass off and sitting it against a chair. "Well I'm pretty good at it, I'm pretty good with my fingers. Wanna find out more?" Tommy so obviously flirted making you laugh as you playfully tapped Nikki's arm. Nikki just gave Tommy a harsh look at this, that didn't exactly match your grin. "Yeah, okay, T-Bone. I bet you are."

"So good, you can find out if you want," He winked with that goofy smile of his. The one that made you shake your head as Nikki subconsciously stepped closer to you and crossed his arms. "Yeah, she's not into that." Nikki was quick to say making both sets of eyes look over at him. Tommy held a proud smile at this, "Are you saying she's into you though?"

"What if I did?" Nikki cocked like he owned the place. Your eyes darted between the two for a moment before stepping up. "Will you two shut the hell up and start rehearsing?"

"Yes ma'am," Nikki nodded while Tommy shot you an army 'yes sir' nod. The drummer walked off to his setup leaving you and the bassist to your lonesome. Nikki seemed to glance around before his eyes fell back on you. "So..."

"Let's have dinner tomorrow," You spoke before he had a chance to process it, and walked away. He watched you walk away with a smile. Knowing he had actually won.

[lilisouless]

Before the barbie movie comes out, i would like to post a little life in the dream house fancast just for fun

This is personal opinion, something that seems right for me might be someone else´s personal nightmare so this is in no way claiming to be the perfect cast. Another note is that most of this actresses are 30-40 to match the first one i choose, apparently on the show they are on their 20s so take this as a grown up version. Also, even if this is absolutely nothing official, i would love to know if any of this people are problematic to the point of someone being unconfortable to see them on their dash.

On a final note, i have seen all of this women act.

Now lets go

Sara Paxton as Barbie

Age: 35

Jamie Chung as Raquelle

age: 40 (five years are not a lot when you reach adulthood)

And has Korean heritage like Raquelle, at least acording ot goggle

Xosha Roquemore as Nikki

age: 38

Joanna García as Summer

age: 43 (maybe a little older compared to the others i choose, but we can imagine Summer as the older cool friend like Samantha in SATC)

Joanna Douglas as Midge

age: 40

I had one for Teresa, but since i am not sure i don't want to rush into it (sugestions are accepted thought) , gonna post it later if i decide its okay. I did try to find other people´s fancast for inspirations but the options were either too young for the list or not hispanic (google doesn't specify the country, but the dolls seems to have brown skin)

Edit: okay i think i got Teresa, this is unfortunately the only of the bunch i haven't seen act (but geez finding someone that fits was hard)

Q'orianka Kilcher as Teresa

age: 33

before you say "she is not hispanic" she is peruvian on his father´s side, and Peru is an hispanic country (if this information turns out to be false, please tell me)

[ificanwriteiscannon]

Just give me a reason (Douglas!Nikki Sixx Imagine)

A\N: Gif above is not mine, found in google, and characters dont belong to me (I wish)

A\N 2: This is not my best work but the idea came to me and I had to write so I’m sorry for any grammar mistake or something.   

“You should fucking go there and give her a damn reason Sixx” Nikki recognized Tommy’s voice from behind him as he stared at the piece of paper in front of him.

“Fuck off Tommy” The bassist replied without taking the eyes of what he’d been staring all morning.

“No man, I mean it ok?! Dude she is the one for you! I know this, you know this, even she knows th-“

“THEN WHY THE HELL IS SHE MARRYING THIS ASSHOLE? HUN TOMMY? WHY THE HELL?” Nikki snapped and got up ready to kick the shit of anyone or anything in front of him

“She asked you for a reason man..” The drummer’s voice was low but filled with compassion, and the worst part for Nikki was that he knew that Tommy was right.

…..

“FUCK Y\N! I CANT STAND THIS ANYMORE OK?! IT’S MY FUCKING LIFE DAMNIT STOP CONTROLLING ME” At this point Nikki didn’t even know what they were fighting about. This argument started at what felt like hours ago.

“JESUS NIKKI, I’M NOT TRYING TO FUCKING CONTROL YOU! ALL I ASK IS FOR YOU DON’T GET YOURSELF KILLED, BECAUSE I CAN’T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU, FUCKER!” Y\N screamed back at him passing her hands in her hair. As the last words left her mouth, tears pooled at her eyes and she couldn’t hold them back anymore.

Nikki felt his insides melt as he watched her cry. His mind screaming to hug her and never let her go, to tell her to forget about the fucking fight and just hold him, to tell her that he’d do anything for her, because he would. However, he just stood there, with tears rolling in his face as well.

“I had enough of this shit” Y\N whispered and started collecting her things into a bag.

“Babe, wait” Nikki broke out of his daze and watched her stop on her tracks

“Give a reason Nikki. Just give me a reason to stay and I will.” She still had her back turned to him and her voice was broken from her tears. “Just tell me you love me more than the drugs. Just tell me we can work this out together and I’ll fix it Nikki. I love you more than my fucking life and  I- Just please say something“

“I’m sorry. I can’t.”  And with that he walked out the flat they shared. From the other side of the door he could hear her crying and it shattered him. Nikki left before he ran to her arms.

She deserved better than that, and now he knew he had to let her go. It was the best for her; he was being shellfish holding her back from the perfect life she deserved. The bassist repeated like a mantra as he walked around the neighborhood, hoping to come at ease, but that of course never happened.

When Sixx came back all her things were gone. He cried the whole night after bringing the entire place to the ground. All the memories were broken now, just like he was without his girl. Without Y\N.

…..

The band had just come back from tour. Nikki was still dizzy from the flight, so he just entered his house and left his things at the side of the front door.  

Heading to his couch with his remote on hands he noticed the machine and the long number of lost calls. Without a sigh he decided to take care of that. After almost 20 minutes of messages, one took his breath away.

“Hi Nikki, it’s me.. Y\N. I hope you still me remember me for that, but if you can’t, I’m the girl who used outdrink you any day. Ringing a bell?” Her voice was playful but he could tell that she was scared the he wouldn’t recognize or remember her. Like he could do that. Even after all this time she still held his heart and the others were just others.

“I got your number from Tommy by the way, just so you don’t think I’m a psychotic bitch who stalks you or something. Well I just called to ask,.. I mean, I don’t know if you got the invitation, but I was hoping to hear a response from you ok? I sent to the guys and I’m still waiting their answer too, but it’d be awesome to get the gang back together..”  Nikki could feel the tension in her voice, but still hadn’t quite understood what she was talking about. He was just so happy that her voice was filling his ears again that nothing else mattered. Her sigh made Nikki come back to his daydreaming state.

“Anyway, I guess- I guess I’m just hoping you changed your mind. I’m hoping you can- I’m hoping you want to give me a reason now. I’m hoping you can say something now. Or just put me on your shoulder and tell me you love me like you used to. Give me a reason so I don’t get married Nikki.. Please.” Y\N was crying by now. But the bassist mind was in another level. She was getting married? No, that couldn’t be.

Running to his old mail he found it. A silver envelope with her known handwriting. ‘To Nikki’, it said in the colored pen, ‘still waiting for a reason’ written in the bottom corner. The man sunk to his knees and cried. He cried like he did in the night he lost Y\N, the worst night of his life.

He listened to the message a lot of times, and cried most of them. He knew this would happen, she deserved this. But why she had to make it so hard for him, when Nikki only wanted what’s best for her?

Nikki Sixx was not the kind of guys who should be at the end of an altar. But neither was Y\N the kind of girl who should be marrying the wrong guy. The church was full and he acknowledged some of them as part of Y\N’s family.  

“Always thought I would burn” Tommy whispered as they took a seat hidden in a corner, receiving a glare from his friend. Sixx would never admit it, but he needed Tommy there. “C’mon man, no need to be nervous. Just go back there and tell her you love her. She’ll love it and we can take her away. Hell, I miss my friend..”

“I’m not nervous, and it’s not that simple” Nikki aggressively whispered

“Of course it fucking is man” Tommy said a bit loud gaining some bad looks from other people. “Sorry” The drummer said with his hands up “Man you gotta-“

But the drummer couldn’t finish his sentence as he was interrupted by the organ, playing something that sounded like a death march to Nikki. And all of sudden there she was. All in white, looking perfect, just like Nikki imagined on the many nights he dreamed that HE was the one she was marrying. The love of his life being shown of like a trophy, about to be delivered to an asshole.

He couldn’t take his eyes of her. Y\N’s smile was empty and didn’t reach her eyes. She searched through the crowd, and as soon as her eyes found his a genuine smile opened in her face. The song stopped as she reached the end of the altar. The man’s hand sought for hers but she held it tight against herself, a fact that made Nikki smile and filled him with confidence. This was wrong. She deserved someone who could give her a stable, boring life without all the drama he gave her. But was that really a good life if she was unhappy? Nikki was at peace giving his happiness away, but not hers, never hers.  

His thoughts kept him stuck in a daydream between their past, their fights, their lovemaking and all the nights filled with talks about their future. And when he turned to the altar there she was, turned in front of a man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with but with her eyes on him.

Y\N stared at him as she was silently asking for help, just like she used to do when Tommy wouldn’t shut up about a new girl, swearing that this one was the love of his life. She didn’t want this. Y\N loved him and he loved her. Nikki was done running away from that.

“STOP” Nikki yelled, creating a wave of silence in the church, accompanied with a few gasps “Y\N you can’t- You can’t marry this guy” He got up from his seat and moved to her direction

“That’s what I’m talking about dude” Tommy whispered, fisting the air and gaining horror looks.

“I’m sorry babe, but you just can’t marry him when you can’t stop loving me” Nikki stood in front of her with a small smile in his lips. He could sense the groom was about to punch him, and that was a price he was willing to pay after all the years he shut his mouth.

“A few years ago you asked for a reason to stay and I was a pussy. But now I’m here to say what I should’ve told back then, baby. I love you. Always did and always will. You are my girl, the one and only and I- Damn there’s nothing in this world I would not do it for you.” Y\N had a hand covering her lips but Nikki could see her smile and the tears rolling down her eyes.

“I’ll do whatever you want me to do; I’ll let everything in my life go if you come back baby. What do you say hun? Give this motherfucker a chance and I swear I’ll make you the happiest woman in the whole world.” Nikki took her hand and kissed it. It was like the word had stopped and there was them. The two idiots who loved each other more than they should.

“Look man, you had your chance and you ruined ok? And you may be a rock star and all but I think the show here is done. Go back to your groupies ok?”

“That’s not your saying John” Nikki replied with gritted teeth

“That’s not my name asshole, an-”

“Whatever man” The bassist cut him and turned to Y\N “Please sweetheart, just say something” He used her words, the words that hunted him for so long. She cleared her throat looking to the shocked crowd, and turned her smiling face at him

“Tommy” She yelled and the drummer got up instantly “Get the car ready. I finally have my reason” Y\N whispered the last part looking directly in her lover’s eyes. Not wanting to waste any second, Nikki took her by the waist and kissed her deeply.

Out of breath, hair a mess, make up all ruined, eyes still closed and a smile on her lips. “God how much I missed you babygirl” Nikki told her, caressing her bottom lip stuck between her teeth.  

“I missed you too Sixx. Now just take me away from here”

“Gladly” He took her hand but before he could pull her away a voice came from her side, and before they could react a punch was delivered in Nikki’s face. A punch that threw him on the ground

“OH HELL NO.. YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS..YO-YOU CAN’T BREAK THE WEDDING” The groom said in anger as Y\N went to Nikki’s rescue. He quickly got up and took her hand

“I’m so sorry Jesse. You’re a really nice guy and I hope you find someone who loves you just like I love Nikki.” Y\N turned to her family at the altar and gave them a sad smile, and after a whispered ‘I’m sorry’ Nikki noticed the preacher urging them to leave.

Now, Nikki Sixx was never a man of faith, but in that moment, he couldn’t agree more with the man in the cassock. The bassist took the woman of his dreams by the waist and threw her on his shoulder, a gasp leaving her mouth along with some sweet giggles.

Around them the world was falling apart but they could only hear each other’s laugh. One incensed and irritated groom was left behind at the altar, as he could only watch the two crazy lovers ran to their future.

They were still laughing when the raven-haired man dropped the runaway bride on the back of the car parked in front of the church. Their laughter died slowly and suddenly the couple were just staring at each other, as if just now realizing what they did for each other.

“So,” Tommy said turning the car on and getting his friends attention “McDonald's?” The drummer asked serious, making the couple burst into laughter.

[storiesforallfandoms]

need help ~ nikki sixx;the dirt

word count: 1789

request?: yes!

“The dirt Nikki sixx x female reader, the reader been best friends with Nikki sense they were kids and became friends through them having terrible home lives, when motley Crüe started up she was their cheering him on. The reader also been in love with Nikki for a long time but when Nikki starts taking heroin she ends up finding him and taking care of him and this happens more than once but after he overdoses the reader snaps and says that she can’t keep watching the man she loves doing heroin. Please and thank you”

description: after finding her friend overdosing, they have a heavy talk about his addiction and his desire to get help

pairing: nikki sixx x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs, mentions of overdosing, lil angst?

masterlist (one, two)

It wasn’t the first time I had found Nikki in the midst of one of his highs. In fact, it was becoming such a regular occurrence that I usually expected Nikki to be high as a kite whenever I went to see him.

What I didn’t expect this time around was to find him almost dead. Or...I guess completely dead.

I had gotten a call from one of his junkie friends - also nothing new. He sounded frantic and scared as he tried to tell me there was something wrong with Nikki. I thought at first that maybe he was just too high and was freaking out because Nikki was also high, so I wasn’t too alarmed at first. I drove to the address that the guy had given me, convinced that I was going to have to carry Nikki back home yet again and nurse him through his heroin hangover.

When I showed up to the house and found it completely abandoned, a feeling of dread started to grow in me. I walked into the house to find Nikki on his own, passed out, with ghostly pale skin and dried vomit on his mouth and chest. My heart stopped as I fell next to Nikki and checked his pulse. When I couldn’t find one, I immediately called 911.

The ride to the hospital was mostly a blur. The paramedics let me ride with Nikki, but I was basically curled up in an anxiety filled ball as I watched them trying to operate on Nikki. Just when I had lost all hope of him being helped, one of the paramedics injected him with something and he gasped back to life.

Nikki was put in a hospital room to make sure the drugs fully left his system before he was discharged. They allowed me to stay with him since he had no other immediate family to call. I slept in the chair by his bedside while he went through his detox, which was probably the most uncomfortable I had ever been. But I didn’t want to leave until I knew Nikki was okay. I wanted him to wake up so I could tell him that I couldn’t keep doing this.

I was eating a bland hospital food meal when Nikki woke up. I watched him slowly come to life before taking in his surroundings. He turned his head and focused his attention on me.

“(Y/N)? Where am I?” he asked.

“The hospital,” I responded. “Do you remember much about last night?”

He shook his head. “I don’t remember anything.”

“You...um...well, you overdosed, Nik. Your heart stopped and everything. One of the paramedics managed to re-start it in the ambulance.”

“Oh.” I couldn’t read his facial expression, but I assumed he was shocked by this news. Or at least I hoped he was.

I sat at the edge of my chair, looking down at my hands. I couldn’t look at him. The words bubbling in my throat were hard to get out.”

“Nik, I can’t do this anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

I started picking at my hands. My vision was becoming blurry, but I refused to let Nikki see. I had to remain strong so I didn’t back down from this decision.

“I can’t keep watching you nearly kill yourself with drugs. I can’t keep finding you high out of your mind and having to take care of you until you’re well enough to shoot up again.”

“What are you saying, (Y/N)?”

I took a deep breath and forced out, “I can’t be friends with you while you’re like this, Nikki. I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

Silence filled the room. I was picking at a hangnail on my thumb until I accidentally made it bleed. I stuck my thumb in my mouth to try and combat the bleeding, which resulted in me finally looking up at Nikki. He was looking at me with sad eyes. I was a little caught off guard by the reaction and felt guilt building inside of me.

“You...you don’t want to be friends anymore?” he asked. “(Y/N), we’ve been friends since we were in diapers. You really want to end all that?”

I nodded. “I have to, Nikki. I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t good for me, and I can’t come to your rescue and worry that I’m going to find you dead permanently.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“I didn’t think so either, until I walked into a crack house to find you unresponsive and alone.”

“That’s because those idiots left me. That won’t happen again.”

I shook my head. My guilt was quickly being replaced with anger. He wasn’t understanding what I was saying. He wasn’t understanding the severity of the situation I had found him in the night before. He wasn’t going to get clean, he was just thinking about when he could get his next high.

I had to get out of there. I was no longer worried that I would go back on my decision, but rather I was worried of what I might say while angry. I got up from my chair, my body aching from being there for so long, and collected my things to leave.

“So this is it?” Nikki questioned as I headed for the door. “A lifetime of friendship and you’re throwing it away while I’m recovering from a near death experience?”

“Don’t give me that shit, Nikki!” I snapped. “It wouldn’t have been a near experience if it weren’t for me! In fact, there has probably been a number of times I’ve saved your ass. And do I get so much as a ‘thank you, (Y/N)’, ‘I appreciate you, (Y/N)’, ‘I’ll stop taking drugs and nearly killing myself, (Y/N)’?”

“I never asked you to do any of that.”

“No, you didn’t, but I still did. Because I love you. And I can’t watch the man I love killing himself anymore!”

The silence that hung between us was thicker now. I felt a wetness on my cheek as I realized I had finally let the tears start falling. This was exactly what I hadn’t wanted to say, but now it was out there and I couldn’t take it back.

I quickly threw myself out of Nikki’s hospital room. I made a beeline for the elevator, trying to put as much distance between me and that room as I could.

At least admitting my feelings made it easier for him to let me go, I thought to myself.

The sudden sound of hospital machines beeping followed by voices yelling drew my attention back to Nikki’s room. The brunette rock star was trying to shove past the number of hospital staff that was trying to coax him back into his room.

“Sir, you’re still detoxing, you have to go back to your room until the doctor discharges you,” a nurse was saying as she tried to push Nikki back into his room.

“I’ll go back in if she comes with me,” Nikki said, pointing towards me.

I felt my face heat up with embarrassment as the staff looked at me. “Nikki, you have to finish your treatment. Go back in and I’ll come see you when you’re better.”

“I don’t believe you,” he said. “I think if you walk out now that I’ll never see you again, and you can’t leave me after what you just told me.”

It felt like my throat was closing over from trying to hold back the fresh tears welling in my eyes. I managed to choke out, “I can’t.”

Nikki finally managed to break away from the staff trying to restrain him and rushed over to me. Before I could realize what he was doing, his hands were grabbing my face and his lips were on mine. It was far from being the picture perfect kiss you see in romantic comedies. It was rough and almost felt desperate. But it was a kiss, and I couldn’t help but get lost in it because it was something I had been dreaming of for years.

It was broken up when two hospital guards appeared and grabbed Nikki, forcing him away from me and back to his room. He tried to fight against them, but when he saw that I was following them now he stopped and allowed them to put him back in his bed and hook him back up to the machines he had been attached to.

I sat back down in the uncomfortable chair and we were right back to where we had been moments before, as if the last ten minutes hadn’t happened at all.

“So,” I started, “was that...real?”

He gave me a funny look. “How could it not be real?”

“I don’t know, it could’ve just been a tactic to get me to come back into the room.”

Nikki chuckled a little. “You don’t think there’s even the smallest possibility that I did that because I also have feelings for you and I didn’t want you to walk away without me telling you that?”

I shrugged my shoulder, which caused him to laugh again. “You’re so cute.”

It was hard not to smile when he said that, but I quickly wiped the smile from my face. “I still mean what I said, though. This admitting that we have feelings for one another isn’t going to change my mind. If anything, I’m much more firm on my decision that I’m not going to sit around and watch you kill yourself.”

Nikki sighed and nodded his head. “I know. I have a problem, (Y/N). I didn’t want to admit it, but I always knew that I did. I crashed Tommy’s wedding because I was high, I’ve ruined friendships, I almost died. I almost lost you. It’s just not worth it anymore. I can’t keep living like this.”

I moved closer to his bed and took his hand in mine. When his eyes met with mine I felt like my breath was taken away. He was always so handsome, even now when he was being his most vulnerable with me. Especially now that he was being his most vulnerable with me.

“We’ll get you help, Nik,” I told him. “There’s plenty of good rehab facilities you can go to, or you can try and do it on your own without the help of professionals. Either way, I’m going to be by your side every step of your recovery.”

“And when I’m clean, I’m going to do what I should’ve done a very long time ago and I’m going to take you out on a proper date.”

I smiled again at him and said, “It sounds like a deal.”

[ali-r3n]

Nikki Sixx x Reader

While lounging by the pool, you and your husband Nikki Sixx get up to a little fun

A hint of smut 

This is my first time writing and posting this kind of story. 

Minors DNI

Dressed in a red bikini, Y/N laid on her stomach. A towel between her revealed skin and the lounge chair. Her eyes were closed behind her giant sunglasses as she rested her cheek against her folded arms. 

She jumped with a squeak when a calloused hand came down on one of her ass cheeks. The impact made them jiggle.  

She looked over at the lounge next to her where her husband Nikki sat, a shit eating grin on his face. 

I should’ve known, she thought as she pushed her glasses down so that he could see her blank stare. 

“Sorry Babe,” he started in a voice that implied that he was anything but. “I couldn’t resist. You know how hard it is for me to keep my hands off of you.” 

He leaned in with a mischievous gleam in his gaze.

Y/N playfully rolled hers at him and reached down to grab the bottle of sunscreen from her bag. She gently tossed it at him before she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. 

“Here, if you can’t keep them to yourself, at least make them useful.” 

Nikki. picked up the bottle with a grin. He moved to sit beside his wife on the lounge chair and uncapped it to squirt some of it into his palm. He placed the bottle down on his black jean clad lap and rubbed his hands together before he messaged it into her skin. 

Y/N let out a content sigh and a lazy smile spread on her face. 

“You like that, Baby?” 

“Mmmm, a little harder.”

She let out a groan when he applied more pressure. 

“Just like that, Nikki.”

She closed her eyes and laid her cheek back on her arms. 

One of his greased hands slid down her spine and underneath her bathing suit bottom. She blinked her eyelids open and looked over her shoulder at him.

“Nik, I don’t need sunscreen down there.”

He ran a finger over her lips which made her breath hitch and her body shudder. 

“Just act casual.” 

Y/N laid her temple on her arms and bit down on her bottom lip when he slipped a finger into her wet, willing body. A small noise slipped from her throat as she watched a smirk spread on his face.  

“Nikki,” she moaned, quietly. 

He gave her a wink. 

Across the pool, Tommy reached over and smacked Vince’s chest to get the Singer’s attention. 

“Ow. What?”

The Drummer motioned to Nikki and his wife with his head. “Are they doing what I think they are doing?” 

Vince, Mick, and Tommy squinted over at the couple. 

“Yep,” Mick replied. “They’re doing what you think they are, Drummer.”

[thisisntmyrightera]

She's Home -Nikki Sixx (Douglas Booth x fem reader) Part 1

Plot: Story of an alternate universe where Nikki meets a young waitress at the cafe he goes to every day without knowing that she would become his everything until death do them part.

Pairing: Nikki Sixx (Douglas Booth) and Female Reader

Warning: Hard Language, drug mention, adult content.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

1980, the year where all dreams went to hell, where I had realized that chasing ghosts would be useless, how could I go on if my own father had denied my existence?, I had worked too hard to get his number, I had spent sleepless nights thinking about what to say when I called him and he sent me to hell with his contempt, this was fucking hell bro.

Hi, have you been here for a while, would you like to order something? - What the hell is with that voice? Normally Dottie was the one who served me daily at the same table where I always sat and it was not at all what I was used to, my jaw tensed a little more while my eyes traveled quickly to the figure that was standing next to me - Hi, would you like a coffee? - her smile made me take a breath after all the time I was waiting for my lungs to collapse

Yeah, why not - I nodded a little while my eyes returned to the crumpled paper in my hands with the number of the bastard who had brought me into this world

Fine, I'll go get a cup - her smile could be heard on her voice as she walked away giving little jumps that made me look at her again curious, who was she? I had been coming here daily for weeks and I had never noticed her presence and that was impossible, she was so pretty, her dark hair so well combed and her skin clean as porcelain, I was used to seeing girls with tons of hairspray and makeup in industrial quantities that it was almost impossible to recognize them once they took it off, but she looked different, so unique and pretty that made me forget the moment that was happening, it was so stupidly obvious that when I noticed her return my eyes quickly returned to their original position trying not to look like an idiot - would you like something else? - She placed the cup so delicately on the table and while she was pouring the coffee I could feel her gaze on me that I just quickly shook my head hiding my face in the brown strands of my hair - okay, if you need anything you can call me, my name is y/n

I could notice her silhouette dancing around me, not specifically that, but she went from one table to another serving and taking orders, always with a kind tone in her voice and a smile, I could notice how the drunken bastards that recently leave Whisky A Go Go watch her passing by making obscene comments about her body and the disgusting things they could do to her in her bed, I don't know why I took it so personally, I didn't even know her and I had my own problems.

You still haven't finished your coffee - her voice made me raise my head again, finally looking into her eyes, those beautiful eyes that I had never seen before - we're almost done - her gaze went to the clock on the wall making me notice that it was almost 11 pm

Oh… I'm sorry, time flew by - I sighed sadly taking the cup drinking the last sip feeling the bitter cold taste run down my throat

Don't worry, are you okay? - her hands moved in the pockets of her pink apron looking at me curiously, what did she care if a drunk was okay? Nobody ever cared if I was okay or not

I… can I ask you something? - I looked at her curiously wetting my lips watching her nod - What would you do if someone rejected you?

Well… that depends - she looked at me curiously smiling - reject in what sense?

Something like… - my hands rested on the table thinking about how to say things without looking like a helpless child but I couldn't find anything else that could justify what had just happened to me - as if your own father had rejected you and asked you not to appear in his life again?

Oh..-her chubby cheeks disappeared when she erased her smile- well I..-a sigh came out of her chest as she sat in front of me- well I don't have a dad so I couldn't tell you…but if that happened to you, I think you shouldn't feel any guilt about his decisions, it's him who failed you not you

-I see..-I sighed looking at the table biting my lip curiously not knowing what to say while my hands crumpled the paper I held all night

Not all people are born to have a great responsibility like raising a child and they also don't have the courage to take responsibility for their mistakes made on them so they blame someone else to feel less guilty, I don't know what happened but I think you should show him that what he expects to happen won't happen, you should show him that you can be a better person than him and you don't need his presence to be a great human being- her smile returned to her face making me feel a rush of air again, she was right, she have all the damn reason, I didn't need a damn bastard to know what my dreams were and of course I could be better than he was without his support

Shortly after the head waitress kicked me out of the place without being able to thank her for her great advice so I went to my car staying in it looking at the steering wheel for a couple of minutes, was this the time to start my big dream? Of course I would be a great rock star and I would show everyone that they can go to hell.

I started the engine and accelerated quickly taking the main avenue and then turning into an almost lonely street towards my apartment.

And there she was again, walking quickly with her hands in the pockets of her coat with her gaze on the pavement, I could recognize that hair bouncing after seeing it come and go all night, so I honked the horn making her turn quickly while she jumped scared

You're not walking home at this time of night, right? - I smiled at her, leaning my arm out of the window as I threw the cigarette onto the pavement

It's not that far anyway - she smiled at me, adjusting the strap of his bag over her shoulder

Yeah, well, damn, I don't know how to ask someone up… do you want me to give you a ride? - I was such a fucking idiot, what was wrong with me?

Well…- her gaze returned to the road and then to me nodding nervously as she walked quickly to get in the passenger side- Thanks for the ride… um…

Fran… Nikki my name is Nikki - I smiled at her offering her my hand to shake and when she did I could feel a electricity run to the tips of my hair

Nice to meet you Nikki - she smiled at me putting on her seat belt as i drive with REO Speedwagon playing on the radio

I tend to go to that place a lot lately and I've never seen anyone like you - I looked at her barely returning my gaze to the road as I drove as slowly as possible without looking like an idiot

It's my first day working at that coffee shop - she seemed to be the happiest person in the world, every sentence that came out of her mouth was accompanied by a childish but adorable smile - What do you mean by someone like me?

Someone, I don't know…pretty and pretty…- I cleared my throat feeling like an idiot trying to avoid his gaze

Yeah well, thanks for the compliment it was the nicest thing I heard all night - she laughed looking at her legs while her hands played with the clasp of her bag

So you did hear them? Why were you so nice to all those idiots, if I were you I would have thrown the hot coffee on their damn faces

Because I need the job, I need to pay for nursing school so I can graduate next summer and my mother can't do it anymore

I see, do you live with your mother? - I looked at her interested in her conversation stopping at a red light

Yes, with my mother and my younger sister, well she is my half sister but she is my sister, mom has had difficult months after my stepfather abandoned her so now we only live with one salary and I need to earn something to help her - her gaze did not return to look at me after her confession and her fingers played slower than normal clearly saddened

I understand you, unlike you my mother is shit, she did not abandon me like my father did but she always preferred her boyfriends who abused me, so when I had the chance I sent her to prison and left home - the green light reflected on the car window making me return my gaze to the road and accelerate hard remembering that damn woman

Oh I… I'm sorry about that Nikki

You don't have to feel it, after all you said it, I don't need anyone to prove that I can be better than them - i look at her giving her a smile and she did the same to me

The conversation was too good to end that night and to my surprise the night ended very differently than what usually happens whenever I hitch a ride with a girl, tonight there was no sex or unbridled alcohol until we were unconscious, she just limited herself to thanking me and saying goodbye to enter her home, it felt so strange, as if I had met a real woman, so every day I came back at the same time and to the same table so that she would serve me like every night, little by little she became my best friend, she listened to all the ideas I had and how London came to life, it was my first baby and she was in our first show it was great how everything started to get better until that night went to shit.

Our vocalist, as usual, screwed up on stage and a pitched fight broke out where my nose was the main target of an idiot's beer bottle. An hour later I was entering the cafeteria with a napkin on my still bleeding nose.

Oh my God Nikki, what did they do to you? - she quickly left the coffee jar on the nearest table and ran to me, helping me get to the same table as always.

I'm fine, I'm… shit, I'm fine - I sighed, sitting down, looking at her, tired of so much shit.

You guys fought again, right? - She looked at me disappointed, taking a couple of napkins from the table, carefully removing my hands from my face and gently tapping them on my nose

It's all that damn idiot's fault, he's always do som...ouch - I looked at her annoyed but her look quickly made me lower my tone of voice

I know Nikki but why do you always have to end up fighting, your fans go to see you play, not to see how you hit each other like animals on stage - She continued cleaning carefully until she stopped the bleeding and gave me a new napkin - You should seriously think about what to do because if things continue like this then the only thing that will happen is that all your fans will stop going to see you play because you're problematic

I know… I know - I sighed looking at her holding the napkin on my nose

I'll go get you some ice, don't cause trouble - She looked at me seriously as she walked away and disappeared behind the kitchen door

Damn, she had me trapped in her hand, it was Something so strange to explain as if I belonged to her completely but at the same time we were nothing at all

It was as if she was my good luck charm, when she was near me everything went perfect and just as I had always dreamed but when she left everything went to hell, even the lack of her presence made situations go wrong

How that same night a skinny and hyperactive boy was going to approach me to tell me that he was my biggest fan and support me in creating a band? right after she told me, it was such a strange but necessary coincidence.

Sorry Nikki I got busy a little, here's your ice - I looked at her with a small smile taking the ice from her hand- Sweetness I want you to meet someone, this is Tommy he will play drums in my new band

Nice to meet you - the boy drummer smiled at her moving his drumsticks making her laugh

Nice to meet you Tommy - she smiled at him greeting him the same way - I'll be a little busy but I'll find you in the parking lot when I finish my shift

Sure sweetie I'll wait for you - I smiled at her watching her walk away to serve the other tables placing the ice on my nose

She's very pretty man - the boy followed her with his gaze until I hit his arm making him look at me again - I'm sorry it's just that… she is - he laughed rubbing his arm- is she your girlfriend?

No… but she will be the owner of everything someday so keep your damn hands on your drumsticks got it?

Ok fuck i get it man - the drummer smiled raising his hands holding both drumsticks laughing

She had been there from the beginning and knew for a fact that she would be there until the end but not just as a spectator, she would be the owner of the whole damn empire that i was going to create.

Part 2

Tag to the ones who like the idea post

@thatoneawesomechicka @frieddreamtoadhound @oskea93 @lustxforxlife

[axlsrxses]

𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐗, nikki six

pairing: nikki sixx (the dirt) x juliet roth (fem!oc)

requested: yes/no

synopsis: in which juliet can’t stand to watch nikki destroy himself and his friendships with the band.

warnings: a lot of angst, break up, mentions of drugs & alcohol, tommy lee, drug addiction, toxic relationship.

word count: 1.19k

𝗦𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝟭𝟵𝟴𝟲

today was finally the day that tommy lee was getting married for the second time. despite having only known heather for a year, he was adamant that she was the one for him, even if the others didn’t think so.

and even though the band were known for their outrageous behaviour and unruly addictions to alcohol and other dangerous substances, this should’ve been the perfect day for all of them but it wasnt…not at all.

you see, nikki was going through a hard time and no one knew how to help him, not even his own fiancée. juliet had tried for years to get him sober and help him find stability in the crazy world of fame that surrounded the band but every time she seemed to be making some sort of success, things would explode in her face and the man she loved would fall back down.

“fuck you, nik!” tommy abruptly spat, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

“now you’ve done it.” mick sighed, shaking his head as he looked up at his intoxicated band mate. “sort yourself out dude.”

standing up from her seat, juliet carefully smoothed out her dress before making her way towards the now open door that both mick and tommy had left through. of course part of her wanted to stay here and help nikki deal with whatever he was going through but she had made a promise to be heather’s maid of honour and she wasn’t going to let anything stop that.

“take it you’re siding with tommy again?” nikki scoffed, slurring his words as he opened her another bottle of beer. “how typical of you.”

“actually i’m keeping a promise to my friend.” juliet retorted, crossing her arms as she turned back to the man she didn’t recognise anymore. “unlike how you promised tommy you would be sober for this.”

instead of saying another word, nikki scoffed once more before downing the bitter beverage in his hand. he hated what he had become, he hated how he let his childhood memories get the best of him, and he hated how the drugs affected his relationships with not only his best friends but also the love of his life.

“i say this in the nicest way, nik, but mick’s right.” juliet sighed, running her hands through her long blonde hair. “you need to get some help.”

“you’re all the fucking same.” nikki mumbled almost incoherently, flopping down onto the couch behind him. “just get some fucking help, nikki.”

rolling her eyes at her fiancé’s behaviour, juliet turned back to face him with a disappointed look on her face. their relationship had been a fairytale from the moment they locked eyes across a crowded restaurant but it seemed like this story wouldn’t have a happy ending, especially not with the route nikki was taking.

“why are you still here?” nikki questioned, titling his head to the side as he examined the look across juliet’s face. “you’re making it clear that you don’t need to hear my side.”

“when did i ever say that?” juliet sighed, taking a deep breath to compose herself as she noticed nikki’s hands start to shake, most likely from the lack of drugs now in his system. “something has caused this and no matter how hard any of us try to talk to you about what is happening, you either push up away or scream profanities at us until we leave!”

“i have no idea what you just said.” nikki chuckled, throwing his head back against the sofa.

“of course you don’t.” juliet mumbled, shaking her head sadly and turning back around to face the door.

days where nikki would refrain from using any drugs were normally the worst for juliet. his mood would completely shift from one extreme to another and no matter how hard you would try to speak some sense into him, his brain would completely shut off until he was ready to scream or argue once again.

rehab was something the band and juliet had looked into for months. none of them wanted to watch someone they cared for drug and drink themselves to death but nikki wouldn’t listen. he had his own money and when you were wealthy, people would do anything you said…even if that meant releasing him from rehab too early for his recovery to even begin.

“jules, wait.” nikki spoke loudly, jumping up from the couch and swaying slightly before he managed to compose himself. “you look beautiful.”

“just go home, nik.” juliet spoke softly, squeezing the bridge of her nose as she felt a headache slowly starting to form. “don’t ruin this day for tommy.”

“ruin it? you really think i’d do that to my best fucking friend?!” nikki retorted, his voice raising as he began to grow frustrated with juliet.

juliet didn’t have the effort to fight anymore. she wanted to see nikki get better but she knew he was more likely to die before that would ever happen and she couldn’t bring herself to stick around and wait for that day to happen. she knew what she had to do.

“i can’t do this shit anymore.” juliet mumbled, feeling her eyes brimming with tears that threatened to spill.

“what are you talking about?” nikki questioned, tilting his head as he looked at the shorter girl. “we’re getting married next month.”

“not anymore.” juliet sighed, sliding the ring from her finger and placing it on the bar behind her. “i’m not marrying you just to get a call a few days later from the morgue telling me to come and look at your body.”

not knowing how to react, nikki flipped the glass table beside him, shattering it completely and sending small shards through the air. maybe he should’ve reacted to juliet’s decision a little better but what else could he do? he had completely fucked up and now the one person who had ever truly loved and cared for him was now giving up.

juliet flinched at the sight before her as she let out a quiet gasp. she knew first hand that nikki had a bad temper, especially when he was itching to get some more drugs into his system as a way to relax, but she was expecting him to take her decision a little bit better or even understand where she was coming from.

“so you’re just giving up on us, on me?” nikki asked, his voice breaking slightly as he slurred.

“just get some help.” juliet begged, taking a deep breath as she tried her best to stay composed. “i love you more than you’ll know but i can’t stand see you doing this to yourself.”

letting out a loud scoff, nikki made his way towards the petite girl, his face scrunched angrily as he replayed the words juliet had spoken to him since tommy’s outburst. maybe he knew he was in the wrong, maybe he had no idea what was happening but he knew that whatever was happening between them was something he couldn’t control anymore.

“why don’t you just walk out that fucking door if you can’t stand to see me this way?!” nikki spat, pushing juliet’s head to face towards the door. “go find some other rockstar to fuck like you always do!”

a loud slap echoed through the air as nikki’s head flew to the side. juliet wasn’t entirely sure what had come over her but hearing nikki use something entirely not true against her just made something shift inside her.

“fuck you, sixx!” juliet snapped, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind her.

[thesmokingguns]

Off To the Races

Pairing: Nikki Sixx!Douglas Booth

Request: Off To The Races by Lana Del Rey

Summary: You are my one true love. She is there for him at all of his worst moments. Coaxing him through his high, making him smile and laugh. She’s at parties dancing with her red smile calling for him. She’s swimming in the pool when he’s drunk and stoned. She’s there through it all. No ones loved Nikki like her. All consuming. His only thought. She is his entire world. And his works is crumbling.

Warning: Heavy themes of drug use, drug induced hallucinations, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts.

Word Count: 2270

Taglist: @littlemisscare-all​​​​​ @ayablackwood​​​​​ @agroupiewhore@thenobodies-inc​​​​​ @dannasixxworld​​​​ @val-sixx​​​​@nikkisqueenofsleaze​​​​ @rocknrollsoul76​ @aggressive-slytherin​

My old man is a bad man, but

I can't deny the way he holds my hand

And he grabs me, he has me by my heart

He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past

He doesn't mind I have a L.A. crass way about me

He loves me, with every beat of his cocaine heart

My eyes are heavy, fingers twisting the belt around my arm to loosen the pressure. The needle drops to the floor, the carpet holding any sound in. Blinking, looking around the cramped closet I see my journal, my revolver, and more smack for after this dosage.

What a life.

My head rolls back smacking the wood paneling with a dull thud that vibrates through me. My hands shaking, waves of fingers in front of me. There’s a bit of blood coming from the injection pin prick in my arm and I’m find myself stumbling to my feet, sweeping the gun off the floor and tucking it in the waistband of my jeans as I head to the bathroom.

It’s washing over me, the feeling I’m always chasing. The fleeting moment of happiness is like a warm blanket wrapping itself around me.

The giggle stops me in my tracks, eyes searching the hallway searching for her. I thought she had left after our last fight. She called me a quitter and was mad I was giving up my partying ways. She loved to have a good time and she thought I was giving up on her.

Guess she was wrong.

The flash of brown hair catches my attention and I’m stumbling, laughing as I chase her through the house. Her laughter was infectious and made me forget about the blood dripping down my forearm.

In the kitchen she turns, giving me that megawatt smile that felt like my heart was feeling something other than the melancholy that usually filled it. She stops and lets me catch her, letting me wrap my arms around her holding her close to me. Smelling the exotic sweetness of her hair as she engulfs me with her golden skin, bangles tinkling down her arms like a musical number.

Safe and warm, happiness and euphoria of her presence with me here. The place that was my Mecca of solitude. Pulling back, confused for a second I try to think about how she got here.

“How did you get in?” As if she senses the confusion in my voice she kisses me, giving me no doubt she is here with me. Warm and solitude against my skin, fire in my veins.

“You let me in.” She purred, letting her mouth kiss along my jawline. Soft hot breath tickling me as she pressed against me, bumping the gun as she rolled her body against mine. “It looks like you’re locked and loaded, ready to go.” Her hands in my hair as she’s touching parts of me I forgot existed.

God I missed this.

Swimmin' pool glimmerin', darling

White bikini off with my red nail polish

Watch me in the swimmin' pool, bright blue ripples

You sittin', sippin' on your Black Cristal, oh yeah

Light of my life, fire of my loins

Be a good baby, do what I want

Light of my life, fire of my loin

I wake up with a gasp.

What time is it? What day is it? Where am I?

Looking around, frantic panic as I realize I’m asleep in the lawn chair by the pool. An empty bottle of Jack Daniels is smashed beside me, glass decorating the concrete in sharp glares of warning.

The sound of a splash throws me off and there she is. Her brown hair wet as she rests her elbows outside the pool, placing her head in her hands with that gleaming smile.

“Well hello sleepyhead. Did you have good dreams?” I don’t know if she’s asking out of kindness or mocking me. I’m drenched in sweat, possibly from falling asleep in the LA afternoon but most likely from the night terrors that always haunt me.

I dreamt I was running. From who or from what was the issue. Everything in my brain was foggy. My eyes snapped up at the setting sun. Has it been a full day already? Was it longer?

The phone rang from inside the house and I knew it must be someone from the band calling or my drug dealer. One of those felt more important than the other and I wasn’t ready to admit which one that was.

I got up, swearing as a piece of glass cut open my door, glaring as she giggle and dipped under the water. A trail of blood followed me into the house as I picked up the phone.

“Hello.” My voice felt gruff and it hurt to talk, like I hadn’t used it in a while. My head was killing me and I felt ready to throw up.

What the fuck had I been doing?

“Jesus Nikki, we’ve been trying to reach you for a week.” A week? I had lost hours, maybe a day here and there but a whole week. Jesus Christ. “Are you okay man? Why don’t you come out tonight with us?” Tommy was begging me and I sighed.

I was embarrassed. I didn’t want everyone to see me when I had been on a bender. I hadn’t seen what I looked like yet but I was sure that it was like hell.

“I don’t know, T-Bone. I think I have the flu or something. I just don’t feel great.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.

Something fluttered beside me and there she was. A white dress on her thin frame. How had she dried off and changed so quickly? Was I loosing more time? Eyes shining as she held out a silver platter of white powder. She loved to party and must have known that my band would want to see me out. At least if I was doing coke with them they didn’t have to worry about finding me dead.

“Where are you going to be?” I relented, watching her twirl. The energy coming off her was exhilarating and I wanted to join her in the ever present state of delight.

My nose was down against the lines, snorting messily, my brain burning, eyes widening as I sniffed a few times to get the whole lot out of my nose. Wiping and then turning to her.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and ready to go out on the town.” She was leading me to the bathroom. My blood rushing everywhere as I was alive and awake and fucking ready to party.

I need you to come here and save me

I'm your little scarlet, starlet, singin' in the garden

Kiss me on my open mouth

Ready for you

Why had I agreed to go to a club?

In the booth we had a mess of drugs, pills and coke scattered on the table like appetizers. Bottles of booze and half empty beer bottles added to the maze of debauchery.

How long have I been here?

I couldn’t remember driving or even getting to the club. All I could remember was hands all over me in the shower, washing the filth off myself. The gentle voice reminded me to wear long sleeves to hide my track marks.

My eyes searched for her. In the sea of women I was sure she would stand out. But all the flashing lights and the noise was confusing me.

The room was spinning, the conversation around me overwhelming me and I could feel Tommy’s hand on my back. My head rolled back, the club's lightning needed to be updated.

A hand was smacking my face and I saw Tommy, wide eyed, looking at me before I turned to the table, throwing up the only thing I had in my body. Brown liquid shot out, mixed with the acid in the stomach. It didn’t stop for what felt like a full minute.

When I finished, puke leaking down in steady droplets to the floor I grabbed a beer tang I had missed and chugged the foamy substance down. I tried not to make eye contact with the people giving us disgusting sneers.

“Oh baby, why don’t you let me take you home? Let me take care of you.” Her hands wrapped around me and I turned, nodding. Confused looks from everyone as I climbed out, reaching for her to take me back into the safety of her arms.

Light of his life, fire of his loins

Keep me forever, tell me you own me

Light of your life, fire of your loins

Her fingers were in my hair as I laid on her lap. The fire from my lighter hitting my pipe as I inhaled and exhaled the sweet delight.

Freebasing in my closet. But at least I wasn’t alone. I had her with me and that changed my usual mood of wanting to slit my wrists or press the gun against my head and pulling the trigger. Painting the inside of my closet with bits of skull fragments and blood-

“Come back to me.” Her voice was lulling me out of the dark place, pressing against my temples and using the magic of her voice to help me. She was the only one that was always there for me. Always making me feel better and dragging me from the pain of my life. Holding me in her arms, compassion and understanding.

She never judged me.

“Have we been here long?” She knew I liked to keep my responsibilities. I wanted to keep my appearance as the rockstar. I couldn’t let anyone know how bad that it had gotten. How I couldn’t stop. How doing drugs was the best part of my life. My one true love.

Except her. She was the one thing I loved more than drugs.

“You have band practice in a few hours.” She reminded me. Her voice was steady and calm, fingers running through my hair and keeping me calm as I took another hit.

I just needed a little more time before I could see anyone. Just a little more time in the closet with her holding me before going out into the world.

“Nikki, don’t let them tell you to give me up. I love you Nikki. Aren’t I the only one who has always been there for you? No one else cares for you like I do. They see you as a rockstar or as a junkie. But I see you. I see you.” Her words promised and I nodded my head, agreeing with her words. She was still so calm, even with the edge to her voice. The words stuck with me.

She saw me and I saw her too.

I'm sorry that I'm misbehaving

I'm your little harlot, starlet, Queen of Coney Island

Raisin' hell all over town

Sorry 'bout it

I didn’t want to go to band practice. I didn’t want them to see my shaking hands or ask my stupid fucking questions that didn’t matter.

At least she had agreed to go with me. Her brown hair wrapped in one of those silky driving scarfs like the 1960s, big sunglasses to hide the hangover in her eyes that she was surely feeling after we had partied. Her hand was on his lap, keeping him steady as he drove to the practice space.

Walking inside, I hide my eyes behind big sunglasses, I could feel the sweat glistening like a second skin on my body. Anxiety crippling me as I licked my lips wanting to get back to my house.

My eyes followed her, watching her move around the instruments shooting me a smile as she ran her hands down my bass. I couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Yo, Nikki, are you okay?” Tommy’s voice made me turn away from her nodding as I sat down hard on the couch. I had never brought a girl to practice before so I was sure they were surprised to see her. To see me so happy with someone.

“Come here.” I held my arms open, watching her smile as she bounced towards me twisting around the guys as they watched me. The brunette plopped down on my lap and I held her close looking out at them.

“What are you playing at?” Vince asked, the confusion was written across his face and I felt angry. Vince had been parading chicks through band practice for years. And now he was acting like this? Fucking asshole.

“Cmon, show her some respect, dicks.” She was shifting in my arms holding onto me and purring sweet words in my ears, my eyes closing and only coming awake when Vince kicked my shin.

“Show who respect?” My eyes went up to look at her but she was glaring at them. Her eyes were on fire as if she was protecting me from the band.

“Nikki, we should go. Let’s go home and I’ll take care of you. You don’t need this. I don’t need this. This was a bad idea, Nikki. A very bad idea.” She was getting up tugging at me to leave.

“My girl.” I was standing gesturing at her beside me, watching the way her dark eyes were slits now. Anger so clear as she tried to wrap herself around me and get me away from them.

They sat there, no one saying a word as they looked at each other and than a me. I turned to look at her, panic was there as she stepped forward touching my face, my eyes closing at the sweet caresses from her fingers. My skin feeling alive like bristling fire under her touch

“It’s me and you Nikki. Don’t forget how I love you. I love you always. No judgement. No-“

“Nikki, no ones there.” Tommy’s voice came out soft and I turned to look from her to him, feeling the slender hand slip out of mine. I went to tell her to wait but she was gone.

Whirling around I saw it was just the band in the space, no mystery brunette anywhere in sight. I collapsed on the couch gripping my hair as my teeth gnashed together.

This was the furthest it had come. The lowest point of my drug addiction. In my loneliness I had created a woman out of heroin. Someone to make me feel less alone when I shot up.

I created love through a needle and that was when I knew I needed to stop if I ever wanted to love anything again.

I'm not afraid to say that I'd die without him

Who else is gonna put up with me this way?

I need you, I breathe you, I'll never leave you!

[oskea93]

Keep it to Yourself (3 - Part one)

✶ DouglasBooth!Nikki Sixx x OC ✶

Warning: Cursing, physical violence A/N: Hey guys! So, this is kind of just a filler chapter that goes along with the last chapter. I promise things are gonna kick up soon and you'll get to see how everything goes down once Bryant is with Nikki 24/7. I just want to also say thank you to everyone that has been reading! You guys are amazing and I appreciate the love so much!!

Taglist: @fancywasmyname1, @kaitieskidmore1, @xxisxxisxxis, @sparxx27,  @cruecifymesixx, @tempt-ress, @a-sia-san, @x-xinenas, @casualcomputerarbiter-blog​, @makaelahdelvalle

“Okay, well thanks for checking.”

I watched as Doc hung up the phone, his hand moving down his face in exhaustion. That was the fourth person he had called and there was still no sign of Nikki. “Haven’t seen him.” He muttered as he started to pace. “I don’t know who else to call or even know where to look. He could be halfway out of California right now for all I know.”

The party quickly died out after Nikki and I’s explosive reunion. Nobody was really in the mood to party anymore after having to dodge glass bottles and whatever else Nikki could get his hands on.

“I doubt he went very far –“ I started. “He’s high off his ass, Doc. He probably went back to his house to get even more loaded.” Doc shook his head. “You knew this was going to happen – You and I both knew he wouldn’t react well to seeing me.”

“Well, I thought he would have a change of heart.” He rushed. “The bastard hasn’t seen you in a few years – he was fucking infatuated with you – he fucking loved you.”

“She left his ass standing on the stoop outside of his house, Doc.” Vince interjected. “Would you be happy to see the woman that left you the way she left him? He was a fucking wreck because of Bryant – You think this time is going to be any different?”

I turned to look at the blonde, “Everyone forgets the fact that he’d been cheating for months.” Our eyes locked. “But yet I’m the asshole because I stood up for myself and left. I guess I should’ve been like the whores you get with that’ll stay no matter how many women you’re fucking.”

He puckered his lips, earning a laugh from the bimbo attached to his side.

Vince and I never had the type of friendship that I had with Mick and Tommy. We tolerated each other and that was it. I was there the day he showed up to Nikki’s apartment.  His girlfriend led the way into the living room – the arrogance flowing from her like a cheap perfume. She was your typical rich girl from the Valley, who was basically just with Vince to piss off her parents. She bought that son of a bitch anything he wanted – spending thousands of her parent’s money on the man. I guess the coke they spent so much time snorting damaged not only her brain cells but also her judgement.

I rolled my eyes in disgust before removing myself from the couch. Doc had retreated to the backyard, a portable phone pressed against his ear as he walked along the pools edge. I decided that this was my que to leave – taking matters into my own hands. I knew of some places that Nikki frequented when we were together. If he wasn’t at his house, then I would try those places. Unlucky for Doc, he was notorious for leaving his car keys in the ignition – easy access for anyone that wanted to take it. I threw my purse into the passenger seat before climbing in and starting the engine. I tore out of Vince’s driveway – speeding onto the freeway as the warm, night air whipped through my hair.

“You think this is okay – You look like you’re ten seconds away from the fucking grim reaper coming for your ass!” He rolled his eyes as he paced the kitchen – his fists balled up at his sides. “Doc called me and ask-“

“You fucking called her?” His eyes wild as he stared Doc down. “You fucking called her!”

“I had no other choice, Nikki.” Doc was terrified. “You’re getting worse every day and you won’t listen to anyone at this point. I had no other person to turn too - She’s your wife, Nikki.”

“Ex-wife.” Nikki and I spoke at the same time.

Doc let out a sigh, “Wife, ex-wife – It’s all the fucking same. You two were married – you were madly in love with each other. Yeah, it ended badly but I know for a fucking fact that Bryant still cares enough about you to not want to see you like this.”

I kept my eyes on Nikki, “If he wants to kill himself with a needle then that’s his fucking choice.”

“What!?” I winced as Doc grabbed onto my arm. “What’re you saying, Bryant?”

Nikki and I stared at each other – he was still fucked up, but I could see the hatred and emotion coursing through his green eyes. “Nikki’s a grown man, Doc. A grown man that’s acting like a little bitch because of all the trauma that’s fucked up his life. He thinks that a needle filled with a feel-good drug is gonna help his pathetic ass – then let him think that. Who am I to say anything – It’s not like I wasn’t there when the real creative juices were flowing – when Motley was at the top of their game. Nikki’s choice is to be a junky – a fucking junky who’s never gonna reach the top – just the bottom of a 6-foot hole and his name added to the overdose roster..."

I parked behind one of the cars that was here earlier – quickly getting out and running towards the stairs. The door was still unlocked, and the house was still a disaster. I didn’t bother calling out of for him – choosing to run up the stairs and into the bedroom. It was a shock to see the once bright room was now painted a dark red – Tiffany lamps with scarves over them casted a low light across the room. The state of the room matched that of downstairs – the only difference being the random dime bags and needles scattered around. The TV that sat in the corner displayed a shattered screen – looking as if a bullet had gone right through it. Doc had mentioned that Nikki would hallucinate, the drugs telling him that his house was being invaded.

“Where are you?” I whispered as I moved towards the notorious closet.

This was his spot – his safe space to do dangerous things. I took a deep breath before slowly pushing the wooden door – the sight causing my stomach to drop. A collection of used syringes and a revolver laid on the burnt carpet. Bullet holes that matched the one that was put in his TV were displayed on the walls around the small area. This was the room that possessed Nikki – lured him in like a siren out in the ocean. The closet was like a mistress – their relationship buried behind the heavy cathedral doors.

“Nikki!”

 My head shot up at the sound of the shrill voice. The female’s heavy heels slapped against the marble floor as she continued to scream his name out. I removed myself from the closet, walking out of his room as I looked over the banister. She was petite blonde girl – late teens – possibly early 20s. Her clothing was typical of those that hung out on the strip – black leather, short skirts, and tits out for the world to see.

“Nikki, please baby –“She wined as she searched. “I need you right now, baby.”

“He’s not here.”  

She stopped dead in here tracks, her eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. It was evident that she was one of his junky whores. She not only got to fuck around with Nikki – but she also got to indulge in the glamorous drugs that his fame brought in.  

Her face twisted into disgust, “Who the fuck are you?” Typical valley girl. “And how the fuck did you get in my boyfriend’s house?”

I couldn’t help but smirk as her feathers ruffled. It was cute that she thought Nikki cared about her. I pushed myself from the frame, slowly walking down the stairs. I kept my eyes on her as I took each step – her body twitching as the last of the drugs wore off.

My slightly taller frame stood over her, “I think the better questions is who are you?”

She shifted away – her mind trying to tell her to act normal but her body betraying her. “I’m Colette – Nikki’s girlfriend.” She spoke so surely. “Now – “ She cocked her hip to the side. “Tell me who the fuck you are and why are you in my fucking boyfriend’s house.”

I took a second, just looking at her and thinking what a shame it was that she was in the position she was in. Colette was a very pretty girl – probably came from a good family – actually graduated from high school and had a bright future ahead before she met Satan on the strip.

“How old are you?” I dodged her question.

She looked confused for a second, “19.”

Nikki – you fucking bastard.

“Why are you hanging around a 27-year-old man who’s addicted to ever drug known to man? You should be hanging out with your friends – going to college – not sleazing around on the strip looking for a fuck and a bump.”

“Nikki loves me-“

I let out a laugh, “You honestly think Nikki Sixx – big rockstar for Motley Crue – loves and cares about some little chick he met at a bar? Honey-“ I stepped closer. “The only thing that man loves right now is melted and injected into whatever vein he can find. You’re just a piece of ass to him – an easy fuck that he’s just gonna forget about when the drugs start to wear off. You and I both know you deserve way better than that – Don’t be one of those girls that are just hanging around and getting fucked up just to brag that you bagged Nikki Sixx.”

Maybe telling someone the cold truth wasn’t best when they’re coming down from drugs. Colette instantly broke down in tears – literally falling onto the floor as loud sobs left her body. I couldn’t help but just stand there for a second – to stunned to even do anything right away. I wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction – I was honestly waiting for her to start throwing punches or to cuss me out.

“Oh my God –“ I muttered as I pulled her off the floor. “I didn’t say those things to make you cry.” Mascara streaked down her face. “I was just trying to get you to understand that Nikki isn’t all he’s cracked up to be.” She was still crying – her eyes puffy and lipstick smeared as she wiped away the tears.

“Why do you even care?” Her voice cracking.

I took a deep breath, “ I was married to Nikki.” Her eyes connecting with mine. “We got together way before he formed Motley – back when things were less hazy. I was in your shoes at one point. I was that little girl that hung around the strip, and I let Nikki talk me into a lot of things that I should’ve never done, but he sucks you in with those green eyes and that smile.” Colette stayed silent as I spoke. “I guess what I’m trying to say is just stay away from Nikki or any guy with long hair on the strip for that matter. You’re too pretty to get strung out and have your life ruined by these guys.”

Just like a typical addict, her demeanor instantly changed and the girl that I first met reared back around. She pushed away from me, smoothing out her leather outfit as she rolled her eyes. “You’re a fucking liar.” She sniffed back the remaining tears. “You’re probably some psycho stalker that’s in love with Nikki and you’re just trying to push me away. I love Nikki and he loves me, and I won’t let you or anyone else for that matter get in my way, you stupid bitch!”

Before I had time to reply or react for that matter, her ring clad fist connected with my nose. Searing pain and the sound of bones crunching rang through my brain as I stumbled back. Not giving me the chance to recover, she lurched towards me once again, my red hair balled in her fist as she brought me to the ground. I’m usually scrappy, but the bitch was still high, making her have the strength that she typically would never have. If I didn’t think fast there was a chance that she could cause more damage or even kill me. Before she could send another blow to my face, I brought my knee up, practically stabbing it into her stomach, causing her to fall beside me on the ground. She moaned out in pain, giving me the chance to bring her equal payback...

I never liked fighting, but I could never stop once I started. I would go into another world – blacking everything out as my fist did the damage.

Colette was a bruised, bloody mess by the time Doc arrived, pulling me off her scrawny body. I didn’t even know it was him until his voice finally broke through the fog I was in. Pretty sure I hit him to as I flailed around as he tried to get me under control.

“God dammit, Bryant!” Doc yelled as he threw me onto the couch.

I heard another voice as I crashed back to reality – the site of jet-black hair kneeling beside Colette catching my eye. Nikki carefully picked up the young girl, carrying her bridal style up the staircase to his heroin den.

“She did a number on you, didn’t she?” Doc muttered as he started cleaning my face.

“Fuck you.” I spat as I stormed off the couch. My face was pounding – blood still falling onto my shirt as I walked out the front door. I knew my nose was broken – her rings wreaking havoc on my face with each punch but how fucking dare Nikki tend to her first! I could feel tears welling up as I paced the yard.

“Bryant, you need to get back in the house.” Doc spoke from the stairs.

“Fuck you!” I yelled. “Fuck you! Fuck Nikki! And fuck that stupid fucking cunt, Colette!”

Good thing Nikki didn’t have neighbors or else they would be getting a free show right now.

Doc trudged down the staircase, grabbing my arm off guard, dragging me back into the home Nikki and I once shared. “Sit your ass down.” He firmly placed me into the dining room chair, placing a rag full of ice on the bridge of my nose.

“Fuck me.” I winced as the weight and coldness of the ice balanced on my face.

Doc let out a sigh, “I was going to kick your ass myself for stealing my car, but I’ll give you a break this time.” I rolled my eyes. “Now, you gonna tell me what happened between you two?” 

I glanced up at him, “Isn’t it obvious.”

“It’s obvious you let her get the first punch in.” He smirked. “But I wanna know why it all started?”

“Well, he’s 6’1 and a fucking asshole.”

Doc looked towards the ceiling, “You’re fighting a fucking groupie over Nikki? I thought we got past that point back in 1982?”

“I told her that she doesn’t need to be hanging around a guy like Nikki. She’s too young to be strung out and hanging on the streets of Hollywood trying to get the attention of junky rockstars.”

“Brya-“The sounds of sires caught our attention as the cars pulled behind Nikki’s corvette. I walked closely behind Doc as he walked back to the front door, the officers halfway up the stairs. “Evening officers –“He was sweating. “What seems to be the problem?”

The officer looked over Doc’s shoulder, his eyes connecting with mine. “Got a call about an assault on a young woman.” He placed his hands on his belt. “Are you Bryant Mitchell?”

Doc spoke up first, “Listen officer, this is all just a misunderstanding.”

The officer wasn’t having it, “Doesn’t sound like a misunderstanding, sir.” His hands going for the handcuffs. “Now, are you Bryant Mitchell?”

He let her call the fucking cops on me. “Yes, sir.” My voice low.

The man nodded his head, pushing Doc out of the way as he reached moved behind me, grabbing onto my arms as he placed the cuffs around my wrists. “Bryant Mitchell, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say could be used against you in the court of law…”