#douchecanoe™ is abt right

[agaispus]

tbh you probably won't see this. i'm not sure you're gonna come back to see this, but here i am anyway. i miss you. you were the best friends i've ever had, and talking to you was honestly a gift. i think about all the conversations we had fondly and i want you to know i hope you're having fun, enjoying life and being brilliant. good luck my friend.

i don’t think thank u is a sufficient response to this message but i’m going to say it anyway and hope u know that i mean it so so so much. thank u thank u.

i honestly miss u too a lot okay? all these sentiments go right back @ u. you meant a lot to me and u still do. 

a confession, that idk how to word bc regardless i was a shit in this situation, and it makes me an absolutely rubbish friend but u deserve to know, so i’m going to be honest with u. i did actually create a different account and i’m p active on tumblr (which,,,, has also been Not a Good bc exams and stress and all that but i digress, that’s my own issue of procrastination that doesn’t play a role in this tale). i’ve just been too of an absolute dumbass to message or contact anyone i knew on this blog abt it - idk if it was initially a case of not wanting to bother people or being scared ppl didn’t actually want to keep in touch or wanting to move on but like either way? how fucking shitty and stupid and downright yikes of me in hindsight. i’m not good @ keeping friends and valuing them properly and for that, a million apologies im so sorry. i’m sorry for just thinking to check into this blog now. i’’m so sorry.

i hope ur doing well, and i know u’ll think i’m a bit (a bit? a lot. a huge metric tonne.) of a shit for creating another account and pretty soon after i left this acc too (like i’m talking a few weeks) (fucking hell am i rite)….and just. not. telling. u. im mad @ me and if ur not, then pls do be. i 100% deserve it. that’s not what friends do. i’m sorry. “i’m sorry” isn’t really a sufficient apology just like thank u isn’t enough but pls know it had nothing to do with how much u matter and more to do with my own shitty af personality. 

if you do want to keep in touch, pls pls pls do message me. i’m so so so sorry. ur welcome to have my other blog’s url or if u want, i have discord which is pretty lit. (probably a better idea bc i kinda,,, feel like moving blogs again ffff,,,, tumblr in general is shitty for my emotional state sigh)

i mean that’s if u do want to keep in touch - i won’t blame u if you don’t. it’s 100% okay. some memories are better left undisturbed etc. (i feel like i could be making the same mistake again but i think this time is different. i think. I’m sorry i’m kinda a mess) but all that said, this message seriously means so much. i’m sorry if i’ve ruined those fond memories but pls know i think of them just as fondly even if i’m a shit human. you mean a lot my friend.