#doubt judge needs a scooter but if anthony wants to put one in front of his locker with a little basket and tassels so he can wheel around

[zibanejad]

judge isn't in a boot bc he knows rizzo would make him go around the clubhouse like this every day:

[exquisitelyeco]

Slave or master.........my precious?

Today I want to talk about Gollom, or Smeagol, as his real name was, from Lord of the Rings. I have touched on him before. And I want to go deeper. J. R. R. Tolkien hit on something really profound in the character of Smeagol. Basically, Smeagol found the one ring. The MAIN ring. Made by the evil Lord Sauron, to control all the other rings, he had helped make. He deceived the elves and tricked them. But, when all looked lost, the ring was cut from his finger. By Isildor. But it’s power of evil and mans greed for control, tricked Isildor, who took it for himself. Instead of destroying it. He was killed within the hour. But he did so much worse. He BOUND his entire bloodline to the ring. (Bloodline is SERIOUS. And can cause untold damage. I will post of that another time) and because of that, his bloodline was cursed. Until such a time, thousands of years later, one stood up and did what was right. But it took THOUSANDS of years for that to happen. So the ring fell into the Anduin river, and all thought it was lost. What carelessness and stupidity, not to check! Carelessness, no wonder God said we will be judged for it! How many die, each day, purely down to their own carelessness or somebody else’s? Another blog entry for another time…. And Gollums friend Deagol found it. Almost immediately it’s evil came alive and Smeagol murdered Deagol to get it. He became outcast. And fled into the darkness……what a parallel! He was eaten away by the ring, until he was a mockery, a hideous shadow of who he really was. Eventually, the ring consumed him, literally, in the fires of Mount Doom, they perished together.

Why did he have two names? Why both Smeagol and Gollum? Smeagol was the person he really was. A water hobbit. Small, hardworking and jolly, if it was anything like the kind of hobbit Bilbo, who found the ring, from Gollum…..was. But the evil of the ring, and Smeagol own choices to keep it, wrought a terrible change in him. He could not forgive himself for the murder of Deagol, because he would not let go of the ring. The ring needed to be let go of, so he could have and been free from it’s evil. But it’s evil and his choice to keep it hounded him. Day after day. Year after year. And he began to make sounds in his throat, a Gollum sound, gulping. And he earned the name of Gollum, which was the name that ultimately killed him. Hiding in the darkness changed his appearance. He lost much of his hair, and the rest became like string. He lost many of his teeth. The remaining ones became sharp, due to his change in diet. Rather than eating normal food, he now ate raw food, but worse, even orcs, the same kind of meat as a human. His eyes grew used to the dark so much, that he hated both the sun and moon. Who he was, totally had changed. Inside and out. Because of his choice to do and live with evil. And I see the parallel with us. Sin, (Or our damage, for a different way of saying it) causes us to change. It makes a mockery of who we originally were. And like Gollum, the more we choose evil, the more we refuse to change our habits and belief systems, the more of a mockery we become.

In our culture today, and since the word ‘teenager’ was coined in the 50’s, every generation has blamed youth for being rebellious and selfish. But you know what? I have learned that is a lie. Sure, teenagers are selfish and rebellious! But it does not REMAIN in them! It’s part of their growing up and learning who they are! But the baby boomers, those who were born into the luxury of the new National health service. The new support from the government, if you were unemployed, benefits if you became ill or disabled. Where food was now abundant. New appliances changed the whole way of life and made it easier. Some of this generation are disgraceful. Rude, grasping, and not wanting others, like the Pharisees, to have what they have had. I have had more judgement, more rude treatment, more contempt and lack of thanks and help from this generation than any other. And they should know so much better. Don’t get me wrong. As I said, they are not all like that! But from my own, personal experience of that, there are more I personally have come across, that ARE like that, than not. Take the mats for the door step. One states ‘Living it up on our children’s inheritance’ that’s is disgusting. The bible states that good parents leave an inheritance for their children. Be it money or character. But the point I am trying to make, is they have not learned. They are still totally selfish in their attitude. It’s all about ME. Yes. This culture is too. But so many more in this generation, could teach us SO much! They have so much knowledge and understanding. But they refuse to use it. They hide their light under a basket. And the most horrid and worrying thing is, they will not CHANGE. They have become set in their ways. And I see more Gollums everyday. More attitude, more blaming others, more lack of responsibility from them. Wanting everyone else to pick up responsibilities for them. Thinking it their right. Thinking we owe it to them. Moaning how much they have put in, and yet how MUCH have they taken out? And it’s still not enough. But worse, they do not want anybody else to have it!

Sadly I do not know many wise, kind older people. I see many older people trying to act like younger people but with an attitude that reminds me of the smell of dog shit. What an example! It’s disgusting. Recently I have had so many problems with these people. And been hurt by them. Even bitten by one of their dogs, which went for my guide dog, but got me, and they walked off! Every young person will either ask, or I hear their parents explain, a guide dog is a working dog. Not to be petted. Now if people ask me, and I am not busy, I LOVE to stop and talk! To explain how my sight works, how my guide dog got her very special name. How guide dogs have changed my life. And let them pet her. But this generation hardly EVER ask! So this one lady, her dog was not controlled. She was talking, taking up the whole pavement, which was narrow. There were three or four of them. All chatting, standing blocking the way. So getting past, without being hit by a car was not good. And her dog went for my guide dog. I asked her to keep her dog under control. Her response was unbelievable. She said ‘Go away!’ Like I was a piece of dog crap. She kept on saying it. Her husband, who should have known better, backed her up. I was disgusted and walked away. And as I did she was still being provocative being rude. I tell you, I wanted to smash her face in. Rude, uneducated, spoilt bitch. Just like her dog was. Her dog was unhappy and discontented. And because this lady was not open, one day her dog will go for somebody, and she will be forced to put it down. Her own fault. What a lack of love and care for her poor dog. She is a Gollum, loud and clear.

Another lady. My dog and I are in a shop, Onska is being perfectly well behaved and patient. Waiting for me to finish, so she can guide me to the counter to pay. A lady next to me, bends down and stokes her. I say, ‘Please don’t stroke her, she is working.’ I could not BELIEVE what she said next! It literally still blows me away! She said ‘No, she’s not!’ I couldn’t believe what I had just heard! I said ‘Yes, she is!’ The cheek of this lady was totally shocking. She then looks down at my guide dog and she states, ‘Now, WE’RE in trouble’ NO, Madam! YOU are in trouble! Rude, disgusting, pathetic behaviour from somebody of an age to know so much better. Gollum. All of us can act like this, no matter what age we are. But having help and guidance from our elders is vital to teach us respect, manners and how to behave. We follow our parents example. But these people did not act in a way I respected. They didn’t even act like any child I have ever met. That acted out of selfishness and rudeness. And it is THAT, and that only, that I took away with me, from the encounters I had with them. How sad and upsetting. How do we act like this and when? Well, when we do not listen to love and kindness, but act out of selfish motives…….IM MORE IMPORTANT!……It’s about ME……I want……ME first!…..How many times have I had a filthy look from an older person if I am in front! I even had one try to run my guide dog and I over in a motor scooter, down a narrow alley, so they could get by. How rude! How selfish. That could have killed my dog, and damaged me. And that person is elderly! Are they going to change? I doubt it. A Gollum they will stay. Putting themselves first.

I digress. But can you see what I am saying? Every experience I have had, of hurt or rudeness has come from this generation. I am so shocked. And very, very concerned. For them! They are the ones that will be in care homes, expecting to be looked after. Who will want to do it kindly? Let us pray they will not reap what they have sown. And be at the mercy of somebody else who chooses to put themselves first. So the more we make decisions based on selfishness, the more we become entrenched in that behaviour. Till we see nothing else. And we actually JUSTIFY our behaviour! Like the audacity of the mat! Of course it is their money, to do with as they will. But I tell you now. I would be ashamed if I act like that. I hope to God, He is merciful and helps me not to be so selfish. I want my boys to have an inheritance. It may not be much. I don’t have much. But I want them to know how much I love them, and in what high regard I have them. To help them go forward and not to hinder them. So they will pass on the batten to their children too. In my attitude I have many Gollums that need changing. As in the words of Robert Anthony, which I love; ‘We neither get better or worse as we get older, only more like ourselves’ What am I like? Who am I choosing to model myself on? This world, and its values, or God and His? What was His? Jesus said of the way to live, and it is profound. ‘❤️The first commandment is this, You shall love the Lord your God, with all your heart, all your mind and all your soul. And the second is LIKE it, you shall love your neighbor as YOURSELF. On this hangs ALL the law!❤️’

What does it mean? On the surface it looks like that generation, of ME is right. How wrong! It means treat others how YOU want to be treated! Do you want respect? Give it. ❤️ Do you want to be cared for? Care for others. ❤️ Do you want material things and a home? Give that to others. ❤️ Do you want somebody to put you first? DO IT TO THEM! ❤️❤️❤️🌺❤️❤️❤️ How right the book of James was! ‘If you see your brother hunger, and you say to him, ‘May God bless you’, but do not feed him…..you are not in faith but error’ Why? Because you are not putting your brothers needs first. It’s lip service only. How would you like that done to you? How utterly selfish. So generous is our God, He said ‘If you just give a glass of WATER to one of mine, I will count it as a blessing to Me.’ Wow! But we begrudge even that glass of water. Especially as Christians, we have no excuse. If the widow who gave the mite, was great in Gods sight. And we know she will be blessed 100 fold, how much more a bacon sandwich…….I digress…And if we know God, we have less of an excuse, because we KNOW he can feed five thousand with five loaves and fishes, so he He can provide more when we give what we have. Even in the first days, humans have put themselves first. Cain, when asked where Abel was, stated, ‘Am I my brothers Keeper?’ YES! We are our brothers keeper, because we would want him to be ours! How can we be so rude? If I fell over and had a fit in the street, would I want somebody to help me? To ring for an ambulance and protect my dog and handbag? To phone my ICE? YES! So would you! I love the song, He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother. It’s beautiful, because it talks about helping the weaker. And in doing so, the singer finds joy. He finds pleasure. He finds RELATIONSHIP!

Reciprocity is beautiful. And if we want our planet to last we must make that a way of life. Gollum was not reciprocal. He was turned inwards only. It was all about his possession of the ring. He chose to be selfish. And became a mockery of who he was. And the price of that? My Lord! Loneliness, such loneliness. Hate of himself, despising of himself. Treating all life with contempt. He was a slave. But not just to the ring! To his darkness. To his selfishness. And did he stop? No. He kept feeding it. Yes, for a time he tried. But at the first hurdle he showed how deep that trying was. He reverted back to the selfish, murdering, contemptuous person he had chosen to be. And he tricked Frodo and took him to a place that was meant to cause his death. But you know what? It rebounded. And cost Gollum both his life and the life of the ring. But there is more. How we deceive ourselves! We tell ourselves it’s ok. We deserve better. We can put ourselves first. We can desert our neighbors. After all, who will look after number one, except ourselves? We justify and we deceive. And the motive? It’s all about ME. Why can’t we be truthful? Why can’t we admit, ‘I’m just being a selfish git!’ Because we want to look good. We don’t want people to know how self centred we are. So we justify our behaviour and blame the circumstances or other people. She got in my way………I only have a little left….there is not enough……..why should he expect that……on and on….becoming more and more like Gollum and less like Smeagol by the second. What are we going to do when we stand in front of God? Let us not deceive ourselves here. God KNOWS us. And like a tree when it is cut down, and you see the rings of its life, some where there were storms, some where there was extra rain. We will be naked before the great Judge. Worse. We will stand EXACTLY like we are. Who we have MADE or CHOSEN to be. Our motives exposed. God knows everything. Will we dare to justify our behaviour? Sadly, yes I think we will. Because that is what we have done since Adam. Shown contempt for God and personal responsibility. ‘It was the woman YOU gave me….’ ‘The snake tempted me…..’ Why not be truthful? ‘Lord, I’m sorry, I just did a major fuckup. Ate the apple you told me not too. Even worse. Let Eve do it first. Didn’t look after her and treat her as I would have wanted to be treated – warned and stopped, cos the consequences were devastating.’ WHAT could have happened if Adam had taken responsibility and thrown himself onto the mercy of God? A God who loves and whose mercy is new EVERY morning. Do we even get that? EVERY morning. Every. Single. Morning. What happened the day before is gone. It’s about today.

We get that choice EVERY day! Everyday we can choose to live better. Learn to overcome our faults and be more of the true ‘Smeagol’ and less of the ‘Gollum’ less of the person who is offensive to others and more of the person who is a pleasure to know. Because we all know, those who love us are good to us. And those who hate us aren’t. Yet, as Christians we are called to be good to those that hate us. Why? Because it gives the other person an opportunity to put down their Gollum behaviour and choose differently. Because this world shows us, if you are upset, you have the RIGHT to do upset to the person who upsets you. But as I have said before, an eye for and eye would leave the human race, blind, toothless and still tearing each other apart. That is what Gollum did to HIMSELF. By his choice to put himself first. So by loving those who hate us, we show them there is more. We offer them a choice. Just like Frodo did to Gollum. Will you choose to be Smeagol? Will you choose to be the person you were created to be, or will you be the person YOU have created…or chosen…to become? Me? Got more Gollums than I’m comfy with. Do I love my neighbor? Sometimes. Do I love my enemy? Nope. Not usually. I want to batter them. Make them hurt how they have hurt me. That lady who was so rude and said ‘Go away’ what if I had offered Jesus to her? I could have offered her a chance to change and that could have affected her whole life. But I was selfish. I put ME first…..God, I’m only just seeing this as I write it! What a loss. How devastating. That could have been a pivotal moment for her. But because of my justification of my own attitude, I did not offer it. God, I am so, so sorry. Lady, I am so, so, so sorry. I did not treat you as I would be treated. I treated you with the level of contempt you treated me. And I acted JUST like a Gollum. What a selfish thing to do. I am shocked. All this writing. To realize it’s ME who is in the wrong. For not being merciful and treating humans who make mistakes with the same love I would want for myself. Need to work on this. Don’t want to stay a slave. You see we are a slave to what ever we GIVE IN too, or to put it anther way, what ever has mastered us. A drug addict is a slave to drugs. An Alcoholic to alcohol. But you can also be a slave in your choices, beliefs and behaviours. I am a slave to anger. To hate. To fear. To condemnation and judgment. And that’s just a few. My goodness me. I need to spend sometime with God and sort myself out. I am so sorry guys. Just realised I’m more Gollum than Smeagol a lot of the time. Talk about mirror and planks. Just fallen smack over mine…..☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️