#doubles as perspective practice cause GOD i need to get more interesting with that shit

[degenerateshinji]

so silly this chapter hahahahhaha

[artificialqueens]

Withstanding The Test Of Time Ch6 - Shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - Yes it has been a long time and yes, I’m still writing all my fics! Hang in there, any old fans, I haven’t given up on you.

Last time: Sharon and Alaska had a fight on the way home from the party, and Sharon was given an opportunity to express her views.

This time: Wait and see…

When a society is on the precipice, moments away from falling off the edge, it is nearly impossible to tell. Any act of defiance - any protest, any argument, any kind of resistance against the social norms - any of them could be the proverbial straw on the camel’s back, the tipping point that throws everything into chaos. Sometimes it can be a call for change, a new leader, a shift in the ways of thinking. 

Sometimes, it can be something as innocuous as an article, written by a newly-promoted journalist, desperate to use her degree and have her voice heard all at once. Sometimes, it can be as little as one woman’s fury to send the media into a frenzy.

That’s right. I didn’t want to get married. In fact, I was pretty much dragged to the registry office kicking and screaming, for all I didn’t want to be there. My childhood plan, to run away with my best friend and live as a fugitive for as long as possible, never came into fruition. I kept tape over the accusing numbers on my arm, and when the name appeared and I had to face facts, I did so with my own mortality at the very back of my mind. When a car wasn’t enough to finish me off, I knew a marriage to someone I didn’t even know definitely would be.

Alaska had gone to work before Sharon left the house, as usual. She had a habit of eating a disgustingly healthy breakfast and then going for a run before changing at the office, so the two had very little interaction within their shared home. It was better that way, Sharon mused. To live like distant flatmates, rather than actual married women. 

It had been a very slow morning after the whirlwind of Alaska disappeared through the front door. Sharon dragged herself up for a sleepy shower, did her best to make her face presentable if nothing else, and had left for work after possibly the slowest bowl of cereal she’d ever eaten.

Even the lingering grey clouds above her were dull. The world seemed to move in slow-motion, everything listless and unimportant. Despite the dreary weather, it was a little too warm for the long sleeves Sharon had opted for, but she shrugged her shoulders and tried to pretend that she wasn’t overheating on the way to the office. It was always freezing in there anyway, and she much preferred to sit and be too warm than to advertise the name of her wife to the world around her.

Just as she got to the lift, praying for a somewhat quiet morning, a familiar face appeared. Sharon reminded herself at the very least that it wasn’t one of the bitches, so she couldn’t be rude.

“Morning, superstar!” Sasha greeted, her mane of hair fluffed and curled messily around her shoulders. Her eyes were glittering with excitement, and she seemed to bounce as though she couldn’t keep all her energy in. 

“Uh, morning, Sash.” Sharon replied, still half-asleep. She was sure that at some point that morning, in an attempt to keep from falling back asleep, she had blinked too hard and smudged mascara everywhere. Hoping that wasn’t the case, she rubbed gingerly beneath her eyes and tried to muster a little more enthusiasm to match her friend’s, at the very least.

Sasha didn’t seem perturbed. “How are you feeling this morning, huh?”

“Tired?” Sharon suggested, growing confused. “I don’t get what the purpose of this interrogation is.”

All of a sudden, Sasha’s eyes grew wide and, if possible, even brighter. She seemed to be completely unsure of what to do with herself. Shrugging, Sharon walked a nearly-speechless Sasha to their desks. Her friend didn’t regain the ability to speak until she had thrown herself into her chair with a loud sigh.

“Have you… you haven’t been online this morning, have you?” Sasha’s tone was leading into something, but Sharon had no idea what it was. She shook her head. “Okay, um… Go on Twitter, I guess that’s probably the best place to go. I’m surprised your phone hasn’t blown up yet.”

Still baffled but choosing to trust Sasha’s judgement, Sharon pulled out her phone and tapped impatiently, waiting for it to respond to her touch. Before she could even reach for the Twitter app, however, she had accidentally tapped on one of the rapidfire notifications that were appearing at a seizure-inducing rate at the top of her screen. As it materialised and grew large on her screen, she did a double-take.

‘Stupid fucking liberal cunt, doesn’t know what the fuck she’s saying DO YOU @sharon_needles!! People like you who claim that soulmate love isn’t real should be EXECUTED! DISGUSTING!’

She blanched, not at all hurt by the bizarre statement but completely dumbfounded at its existence. As far as she was aware, Sharon didn’t know a @BillDewinski1956, let alone tweet anything that would catch his attention. At her expression, Sasha grabbed her phone and then gasped.

“Jesus! Some people are so charming, aren’t they… But I mean this! This is what you need to see.”

She handed the phone back on the list of trending news. The list was as she expected; something about the President’s latest fuck up, some viral tweet about girly movies, a singer making an apology for something dumb. But the banner at the very top was what caught her eye - a photograph of herself.

Media  .  16 hours ago

Controversial ‘timers’ article divides the internet with an unheard perspective on the law

97k people are tweeting about this

As soon as the words registered in her mind, Sharon’s stomach twisted into knots. She wasn’t sure if it was a pleasant sensation or not; all she knew was that her heart was hammering in her chest, her mind was racing, and she didn’t have a single idea what she was supposed to think.

Did this mean she was successful? Did this mean she was going to get fired? As disgusting as some of the replies to the article were, people were definitely interested. At least half of the responses seemed somewhat supportive of her - Sharon scrolled through replies of people who said they had cried when realising they weren’t the only ones, or explained how they’d managed to get past it, or simply commented that she had opened their minds to something they hadn’t considered before.

For the first time in her life, Sharon’s anger was powerful. For the first time, she had the power to influence how people thought and how people felt, and it was a very strange power to possess.

“Well?” Sasha prompted, pulling Sharon out of her introspective silence.

“Well…” Sharon answered, not nearly as eloquent in person as she was in writing. “Shit. That’s all I have to say.”

Sasha was practically beaming, and despite all the confusion and conflicting emotions Sharon felt about the whole situation, her friend’s glowing pride made her feel incredibly uplifted. It was rare that Sharon ever felt so supported and cared for.

“I always knew you would take the world by storm once they let you.” She praised, Sharon waving her off so that she didn’t end up blushing unattractively. “The website is down this morning so there’s not much we can do until maintenance fix it. Too much traffic from everyone trying all at once to read your article. You really swept everyone off their feet.”

Sharon shook her head, unable to accept the compliments. Sure, she’d caused a stir, but controversy always did. It wasn’t like they were praising how it was written, or the language and composition of the piece… no, had it been the usual lovey-dovey drip of an article about timers, no one would bat an eyelid. It was controversy, not skill, that had brought her notoriety.

“Trinity isn’t in this morning, but Peppermint wants to see you.” Sasha finished gently, noticing the slight embarrassment she’d caused. “No doubt to assign you another task to blow out of the water.”

For the first time since entering her job as an underpaid intern, nobody yelled, clicked at, or insulted Sharon as she walked through the office. No one demanded a coffee, or sent a scathing look in her direction. In fact, not a single head turned in her direction at all - possibly the closest thing she could get to a success.

Peppermint, or Agnes, as Sharon supposed she should call her, was the more forgiving of her two bosses, and as she made her way towards her office she prayed that nothing bad was going to happen. After all, she knew they couldn’t fire her for how the article was written, as she had taken the time to ensure it all made sense, but that didn’t mean her audacity couldn’t be the reason she got fired. As much as was her own thoughts, the content was a little outrageous given how few companies were willing to give platforms to voices like hers.

Thankfully, she was greeted with a smile. “Ah! Morning, Sharon. Just thought we could have a chat about that little article of yours.”

Oh god. Here it came. The pointed smile, the cold eyes, the flat tone of voice as she was told that they had taken a gamble on promoting her and it was clearly the wrong decision to make, and that she would need to be fired completely to avoid the humiliation of a demotion and for the good of the company overall, and she would have to rescind her article along with a grovelling apology for daring to be so forthright with her opinions in a society that didn’t want to hear them-

Agnes leaned forwards. “I loved it.”

Sharon was so taken aback, she nearly fell right off her chair. “I- What?”

“Look, Sharon…” She admitted, her voice low. “I’m a trans woman, I know all about causing a stir. There’s bigoted people out there who say I don’t deserve everything I have, simply because I transitioned. So even if we disagree, I want you to do more of this. Share your voice. Angry women change the world, and I can see you have some fire in you.”

Never in her life had Sharon expected to be praised for her boldness. It was something that people in her life had always endeavoured to change about her; the conviction with which she held her beliefs was dangerous. But someone, for the first time in what felt like forever, was encouraging her. Someone, even if it was Agnes alone, believed that what Sharon had to say was valuable, and wasn’t trying to silence her voice.

It was a strange feeling.

She wandered back to her desk in a daze, baffled enough by the meeting and sudden influx of attention that she felt slightly light-headed. Ignoring the swathe of notifications still flooding her phone from all apps, she opened her Twitter once more and decidedly, absently, to briefly address it and then move on. After all, she had more controversy to cause.

Sharon Needles - @sharon_needles

Angry women change the world ..

“She wants more.”

Sasha blinked. “Huh?”

Sharon shook her head, trying to mentally pull herself together and wrench her mind away from the absolute chaos she had somehow managed to cause. She switched her phone off, overwhelmed by the constant notifications, and wheeled her chair around to properly look at Sasha with a little more clarity.

“Peppermint… Agnes… whatever… She wants more from me. She wants me to keep doing what I’m doing, and not issue an apology, and I’m not fired, I don’t have to clear my things…” Sharon muttered, mostly to herself. “She- She wants to keep me here?”

Practically squealing, Sasha kicked the desk and propelled herself backwards in her chair, spinning gleefully. Her enthusiasm was strangely contagious, and within a couple of seconds, Sharon felt the same unbridled happiness bubbling up inside her. It was utterly euphoric.

“I didn’t get fired!”

“You didn’t get fucking fired!” Sasha repeated, her eyes squeezed shut in excitement. She had shuffled her way over to Sharon, and begun spinning her chair so that the both of them were racing round in circles, giddy and giggling.

Sharon laughed at the absurdity of it all - spinning around in her desk chair at work, rapidly promoted, a sudden success in a short amount of time. It was as if her luck was finally beginning to balance out, the bad making way for the good to start shining through.

“Okay, I… I need to start my next one. Or plan it. Or do something, I don’t know.” She babbled, skidding to a halt back at her desk and fumbling with the keyboard. “There’s so much I could touch on… God. I finally get to use my degree, huh?”

Sasha winked at her, the pride emanating from her bright eyes. “Get writing, bitch. Go and knock ‘em dead now that they’re all listening. I know you can do it.”

Now that was something she’d never tire of hearing, something new to her ears and like music every single time. People - a select few, but a rapidly increasing amount - believed in her.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of writing, planning and numbing excitement. It was no secret that Sharon had a lot to say, and she had been trying for years to get people to listen to her. All the protests, the arrests, the candid photographs of a young teenager with a sign in her hands, desperate for some kind of change to protect her from the uncertain future that gave her nightmares… they had to be worth something. Sharon had a voice now, and she couldn’t throw it away.

Time seemed to escape her, each second sliced away by the rapid clicking of keys beneath her fingers. There was so much to be said, so much to do, and before long, Sasha’s hand was gently shaking Sharon’s shoulder, wrenching her from her writing-induced stupor. It was beginning to darken outside, and the majority of the office were leaving or had already left.

“Fuck,” Sharon hissed, stretching and wincing slightly at the cracking of her bones. “I’m gonna go blind if I look at that screen for any longer. Thanks, Sash.”

Sasha smiled kindly. “Anytime. You’re doing great, just make sure you don’t burn yourself out. Try to relax tonight, yeah? Just take it easy, chill a little. I’d invite you over for drinks to celebrate, but I can imagine you’re exhausted.”

Her mood lifted from such a productive, surprising day, Sharon found herself in higher spirits than she expected. “Aww, maybe I’ll come see you and Shea tomorrow. You’re right, though, I think I need a night in to just relax and be by myself. And maybe mute my Twitter, seeing how crazy it was earlier.”

Her friend laughed appreciatively. “I’ll get some red wine in for the weekend, you’re welcome to come over anytime. Now get out of here, freak. Go home.”

Absent-mindedly, Sharon wondered if her slightly later-than-usual exit from work meant that she could claim for a little bit of overtime, or if it would affect which bus she got home on. The elevator music provided the perfect mindless background music for her thoughts, her brain having checked out of work-mode the moment she logged off her computer. As it dinged, the little noise always sounding before Sharon expected it to and making her jump, she walked out into the car park and started towards the bus station. Then she stopped.

Alaska’s car was parked next to Sasha’s, which was quickly pulling away. She was sitting behind the wheel, her arms folded across her chest, her eyes staring straight forward. When she spotted Sharon, her gaze only lingered for half a second before she turned away again, her expression completely, eerily blank. Somewhat apprehensive, Sharon approached.

The car window rolled down. “Alaska?”

“Thought you might want picking up. The buses around here aren’t very safe.”

Sharon lingered awkwardly. On the one hand, she didn’t really feel like spending time with Alaska, given the tension between them that seemed as though it would never go away. A fucking soulmate marriage counsellor, after all, and a fierce anti-timer law advocate, were hardly a match made in Heaven. On the other hand, Sharon had witnessed her fair share of bloody fights and drunk, leery men on her bus rides home.

Reluctantly, she opened the door and got into the passenger seat, glancing furtively at Alaska before lowering her gaze. This was weird - everything about all of their interactions was weird. At least this time, she supposed, Alaska wasn’t begging Sharon to like her. She just started the car without a word.

They drove in silence for a few excruciating minutes. Sharon didn’t usually mind awkward silences - she was usually the cause of them, after all, and would relish in the suffocating misery and discomfort that followed. But this silence wasn’t her own doing, and all of it sudden it wasn’t so nice to get a taste of her own medicine. She flexed her hands, unsure of what to do with herself, as Alaska sat rigid and drove seemingly without blinking. In a last-ditch attempt to break the tension, Sharon reached out toward the radio.

“It doesn’t work.” Alaska told her. “Don’t bother.”

“Oh.” Sharon stopped in her tracks, slowly retracting her hand. “Okay. Sorry.”

Alaska shrugged, barely. “It’s fine.”

They lapsed into silence again. This wasn’t right; Sharon was the one to sit and make others feel weird and strange, not Alaska. Her wife was supposed to be the one who wanted approval, not Sharon. The loss of power was unsettling.

When they came across a queue at a traffic light, Alaska huffed out a breath, as though she was irritated about something. “Want to get something to eat before we go home?” She asked, rather curtly. 

Her tone of voice knocked Sharon for six. It took a few moments for her to register the words, let alone come up with a response. “Uhh, no. Let’s just go.”

It seemed Alaska wasn’t having it. “Well, I think we should celebrate. There’s a good Thai place down this street, it has lots of vegan options too.”

Out of everything, the weirdest part was Alaska’s cold exterior. Sharon had to admit, begrudgingly, that as much as she didn’t like Alaska, she was always inviting and kind and willing to give a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth, or sixth) chance. She always offered little acts of kindness that Sharon turned down, her good intentions clear all the time. But this… whilst her words seemed kind, the chilling voice with which she spoke them were anything but.

“I don’t want anything, I just want to go home.” Sharon shot back.

“Or there’s a good pizza place, too.” Alaska ignored her. “Pretty cheap, but the garlic bread is super good. Special occasions call for special dinners, I think. We should celebrate your success at the very least. It’s only a ten minute drive extra from home.”

Sharon scowled, growing more annoyed by the second. “Why the fuck are you being nice? Shut up, fucking hell.”

Alaska snorted derisively. “The question is, why aren’t you being nice? You don’t have to be a cunt all the time, you know that, right?”

“I didn’t ask for you to fucking pick me up and start trying to buy dinner when all I want to do is get home and be on my own!” Sharon exploded. “Like fuck, girl, take a fucking hint! I can make my own goddamn way home!”

Alaska slammed on her brakes as the traffic came to yet another stop, jolting them both forward. “Why don’t you then, huh? Get out of my fucking car and walk home if you hate it so much. Go on, hurry up.”

Sharon recoiled, as though she’d been slapped. “What the fuck?”

“You heard me!” Alaska seethed. “Get out now while it’s not moving, or else I’ll fucking push you out whilst I’m driving. I’m sick of you, I’m fucking sick of you, and I don’t want to deal with your ass anymore. Get out of my car.”

The light turned amber.

“Gladly.” Sharon opened the door and slammed it shut, just in time. Alaska sped off as the light turned green, leaving Sharon in her dust.

It took a minute for everything to connect in Sharon’s head. What the fuck had just happened? Alaska had snapped. Everything that Sharon had done to torment her and make her life difficult had worked, and it had culminated in a burst of anger, which was exactly what she wanted - tangible proof that the soulmate business was a load of shit, and they just weren’t meant to be.

And yet… why did it feel so awful? Sharon walked faster than she thought she ever had before, her furious strides rivalling that of a yoga mom in a park. A mixture of rage and… was that guilt? wrestled in the pit of her stomach, festering and bubbling in a way that made her nauseous. This was exactly what she wanted, after all, for Alaska to stop fucking trying and accept that, no matter what, Sharon was never going to love her.

It seemed that her anger and hurt weren’t quite linked, and she couldn’t work out where they were coming from.

It was surprisingly cathartic to walk home in the brisk cold, the weather cooling off her angry heat as she walked the rest of the journey home. She had almost gotten over it completely when Alaska’s home came into view - and everything seemed to reignite at just the sight of it. No doubt Alaska had slammed the front door and stormed inside, judging by her haphazard parking job.

She pounded on the front door and waited. Of course, today had to be the day she forgot her key.

It swung open almost violently, revealing a pissed-off Alaska. “Oh, it’s you. I was hoping it was going to be a door-to-door serial killer. I should be so fucking lucky.”

Sharon shook her head in disbelief. “Okay, what the fuck is your problem? 

“My problem?” Alaska asked indignantly. “No, this isn’t my problem, Sharon, this is yours.” She all but yanked Sharon inside, shutting the door with an almighty bang and beginning to pace up and down the corridor. “You’re the one with the issues, and I’m tired of being nice to you only to get treated like shit in response. Willam told me to be patient with you, and fuck, I’ve tried, but you’re giving me nothing and I’ve had enough. So what, please tell me, did I fucking to do you?!”

Fuming again, Sharon shrugged off her coat and stormed into the kitchen, Alaska hot on her heels. She could practically see the steam coming out of her reddened ears.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Alaska? I don’t have time for your stupid games.”

Alaska almost growled. “You! I’m talking about you, Sharon, and how you seem to have no fucking regard for other people. I don’t care if you don’t like the laws about timers because fuck, tons of people don’t, and they’re fucking excessive and I understand that. Hate the system all you fucking want, but don’t take your anger out on me when I did nothing to you. I’ve done everything I can to make you comfortable here and then you- you-”

Sharon stood still and seethed, listening to Alaska’s rant with her jaw clenched. “Communication is key for a healthy marriage, you of all people should know that. Get to the fucking point.”

“I’M GETTING THERE!” Alaska screamed, and the force of her shout shocked Sharon into silence. Her face was distraught, pulled tight with fury and rage that seemed entirely uncharacteristic for someone like her. She was rational, collected, measured - someone who was pragmatic and logical. She didn’t just explode in emotional outbursts, or at least, Sharon had never thought she would.

“All I want to know,” She breathed, her tone dangerously calm, “Is what I did to make you hate me, and what I can do to make you like me. Because this- this-”

She held up her phone, the screen flashing in Sharon’s face - a screenshot of her newly-viral article. 

“I don’t know what the fuck I did to deserve this, okay?!”

Sharon rolled her eyes. “Oh please. I had the freedom to write about what I wanted, and so I wrote about what no one gets to hear, because sycophantic bitches like you who love the taste of government boots sit here all day and tell us how wonderful it is that we’re forced into marriages! Well, fucking newsflash, I don’t think that!”

“And you’ve made it quite fucking clear, from the day I met you!” Alaska cut in. “But for one fucking second, did you think about how this would affect me? How this would humiliate me?”

Tears were beginning to gather in the corners of Alaska’s eyes - hot, angry tears, threatening to spill over her scarlet cheeks and flared nostrils. In the midst of their blazing argument, seemingly a battle of attrition with hurled insults as their ammunition, Sharon started to feel… bad.

“What do you mean? It’s not like I fucking named you. You don’t need to be so sensitive.” She cursed.

Alaska shook her head, and Sharon sensed that if she pushed her any further, she would explode like a grenade. “I have been ridiculed all day - by my co-workers, even by my fucking clients. I walked into work with your name visible on my arm, so everyone knows that the Sharon Needles who wrote the scathing article is the same one that I’m married to.”

As she ranted, tears spilling over, Alaska kicked off her heels, ignoring how they flew across the room and likely damaged something of hers. The resulting clatter seemed to only exacerbate her fury.

“I’m a marriage counsellor, Sharon.” She stressed, leaning over the worktop. “My entire livelihood is helping people come to terms with their relationships and live out long, happy lives together in whatever way suits them best. All fucking day, I’ve had people laughing and sneering in my face, my own fucking clients telling me that if I can’t fix my own marriage, how the hell am I supposed to fix theirs?”

She swiped away her tears in a vicious motion. “Humiliated and ridiculed, all fucking day, because you made your goddamn think-piece into more of an attack on me than you did an attack on the system that you’re actually mad at. I just- I can’t take this anymore, Sharon.”

With mounting guilt, Sharon mustered as much disdain into her voice as she could. “Can’t take what? Enlighten me.”

“You!” Alaska’s eyes were shining, her chest heaving with the effort of yelling and crying all at once. “You’re spiteful, you’re mean, you’re bitter and nasty and cruel and I have noidea why that is, but I wish I fucking knew so I could something, anything! I’m not asking you to love me, Sharon, because I don’t think you have it in you to love. I’m just - fuck, I’m asking you to try and not be a cunt all the time because maybe if we could be respectful to each other, something could grow out of that. We could be friends. But you’re just fucking horrible.”

A thousand insults sprang to the forefront of Sharon’s mind, her brain working overtime to provide her with harsh, cutting remarks that could stop Alaska in her tracks and effectively win the argument. Each and every one of them halted at her tongue, disappeared, and Sharon deflated.

“I know.”

Alaska faltered. “You- what?”

“I’m a horrible, terrible person, Alaska. I don’t think about anyone else because the only person I can rely on is me, I don’t fucking want anybody else. A soulmate goes against absolutely everything that I stand for as a person.” Sharon found herself suddenly bearing her soul in front of her furious wife, more vulnerable than she had felt in a long time. “I should’ve thought about what this would all mean for you. But I don’t think about others, ever. I get hurt when I think about others.”

Little tear droplets clung to Alaska’s eyelashes, clumping them together as she regarded Sharon with a gaze far gentler than her previously stony glare. All at once, her anger seemed to dissipate.

“I’m never gonna hurt you, Sharon. At the end of all of this fucked up shit, I’ve got your back. I’m your soulmate.”

Sharon shook her head, faster than she meant to. “There’s no such thing.”

Alaska softened. “I read that true hatred can only come from something you once loved. I don’t know if that’s true, but-”

“I don’t want to get into it.” Sharon answered, quietly. “Can I just apologise and try and be better?”

Biting her lip, Alaska nodded infinitesimally and sighed. “Yeah… But if something’s hurting you, and I can help-”

“I can’t talk about it.” Sharon replied curtly, then apologised. “Sorry. I just… I can’t.”

“That’s okay.” Alaska promised, her teary eyes suddenly holding tender sadness in the place of her former rage. “Do you… Can I give you a hug? Just to… consolidate a truce, I guess, and give you a little bit of comfort.”

The words got stuck in Sharon’s throat, but it didn’t end up mattering. At the slightest inclination of her head, Alaska rushed forwards and wrapped her arms around Sharon, the both of them melting against one another in a moment of sheer exhaustion and weakness. There were tears beginning to well up in Sharon’s eyes, too, but she did her best to blink them away, determined not to cry in Alaska’s embrace.

It was nice… nicer than she’d expected. Alaska was warm, and welcoming, and at heart she was a good, loving person. Sharon was selfish and rude and petulant and she didn’t deserve the love, let alone the friendship, of someone like Alaska. But something about the tightness with which Alaska held onto Sharon told her that, somehow, this was someone who would give her infinite chances. Alaska had never waited for Sharon to fuck up, not like everyone else. She had gotten angry, and then her angry had been pushed aside completely in favour of a sweet embrace.

It felt so good to be held by someone. Sharon lifted her own arms to squeeze Alaska and buried her face, hoping that her wife couldn’t tell that she had started sobbing.

[invelleity]

psst. be honest. all of the questions. go.

i can’t believe jeanette is tryina kill me in public and i’m still love her??? | not accepting anymoooore | @ltbroccoli​

cracks knuckles here we go ( odd numbers 1-9 are here )

2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

Not very. It’s fun and cute and all, but I care a whole lot more about “clicking” with people and having fun writing with them.

Exception: If someone’s aesthetic is so overblown that I can’t even find the pages on the blog or read the text, I.....won’t interact with that tbh.

4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

(kicks down my roommate’s door at 10pm) “OK so I’m writing— stop screaming, it’s me,— I’m writing a character in Security and you’re like a double black belt or some shit, can you explain how—”

( My roommates all know it’s a thing I do but I’ve never sent them a link or shown them any of the actual writing. They’ve met a bunch of y’all over like Rabbit streams and @rumdaydreams​ irl though so like.... They Know. )

More under the cut

6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?

Ehhh, depends on my mood. I lean towards female muses in general ( definitely got a bigger chunk of ladies on my list, for sure for sure ) but I love my boys.

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

Uhhhh A) We’re all such dumb socially awkward blobs so it’s often hard to get to know new people.

B) The feel that if you have a good relationship with one person who writes a canon muse, it’s some kind of lowkey betrayal to write with other people who write the same muse??

C) How much I, a certified card-carrying dumbass, stress myself out about posting on a “regular” schedule. Does that count? Like I want the blogs to look “presentable” lmao and me@me Calm The Fuck Down.

10. Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

N / A

11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?

Uhhhh, when I first started was long enough ago and the community was so different a lot of those lessons no longer apply. I wish when I finally jumped over to Tumblr I’d realized quicker how the new like....basic ways of meeting people and posting and all worked, which was mostly just a “calm down and go with the flow more, let go of your stupid rigid old habits” lmaooo.

12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?

yES. Yeah. Hahaha ha h. 

But ummm, not usually. No. Most of my drama has been either A) me posting the very very softest, most diluted version of barely-touching on my politics and my real goddamn life and people being fuckin butthurt as hell about or B) cutting people who were toxic and draining out of my life. So.

13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?

cw suicidal ideation ment

Yeah. Once I actually did — when I started college I just didn’t have the time, so I peaced from the larger community to just write with close friends for a while. I’ve also considered leaving the T.umblr RPC a few times, but really only because of long bad depressive episodes. Coming back and “not wanting to literally die irl ha Ha” and catching up with my drafts gets me back on track lmao. 

14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?

Positive! Sometimes I worry that I spend too much time wrapped up in fiction and miss my real life, but I’ve learned to keep my time more separate so now it’s just good to have a healthy hobby that makes me happy. Also I’m definitely a much better writer for it, and there a lot of networking skills I think translate to real workplace skills so it’s 👌

15. How has rp changed you personally?

See above, tbh. And it gives me a lot of good outlets for writing ideas that would otherwise stew in my head until I hated myself for never ever writing any lmao. It’s good.

16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

Oh, I dunno. I wish I could post replies from mobile more easily, god. That’d keep me a lot more on top of my drafts lmao.

17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?

Not on any of the rp blogs. ;^)

18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why? 

No, wtf

19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?

Depends on the hate — things I feel need to be addressed or I want to be clear about not tolerating I’ll post. Personal hate and mean shit I delete.

Or if it’s stupid and makes me laugh I will definitely post that shit.

20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

Sometimes. If a partner is actually pressuring me I’m real good at saying uhhh hey, fuck off about that? but sometimes partners will perfectly-innocently be enthusiastic about things I’m not super comfortable with and that’s harder to bring up. So it’s..... more like I pressure myself, whoops.

21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?

Ehh. Not really. Sometimes I’ll follow a friend of a friend despite lack of interest just because, like.... My friends are smart and good, maybe I’m just not getting the right “vibe” from their blog as who really they are. Sometimes that just means we never click and I unfollow them later. Or sometimes @rumdaydreams​ drags me straight to mutual hell and we write 20,000 unfinished bullshit and meet irl and she actually talks me into wholeass new blogs and muses. So, you know. Mix bag.

22. What would make you block someone?

Red flags for manipulation and lowgrade emotional a.buse, especially ones I viscerally feel in my stomach from previous experiences. Obvious r.ight-leaning politics ( Weirdly, I’m not particularly comfortable around people who don’t think I or my friends deserve to be treated like human beings! A character quirk, haha! )

Also ngl sometimes I block people just to remind myself I’ve followed them before and I don’t wanna re-follow them six times and look like I’m trying to intentionally harass them. My memory is bad but the block button always knows, lmao. 😅

23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else?

Not intentionally — I try very hard not to steal hc from duplicates or take plots without asking. But, y’know, sometimes an idea sticks in your head and you eventually just forget where it originally came from.

24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?

Not that I’m aware of.

25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?

Absolutely, for the most part! I like seeing other perspectives, and especially since @thewrongsorts​ is such a bigass multi it lowkey just makes my life easier.

There are a few exceptions — less because they’re duplicates and more because there are hc/fanon I just......dislike enough I don’t wanna write with them. Not a feeling that’s limited to duplicates tbh.

26. How do you feel about vague posting? 

Ehhh. It’s like not a great thing, but I get the appeal. I tend to unfollow if someone posts a lot of it because then they’re just passive-aggressive as a person, but the occasional vagueblog I don’t mind. Sometimes you gotta get shit off your chest but you don’t wanna make it a wholeass call-out, I get it.

27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?

Generally I unfollow. I’m here to write, if we’re not interacting it’s clogging my dash. ( Honestly I unfollow mutuals eventually if we never write.... ) But very occasionally someone’s got such good #takes and hc that I stick around just bc I stan.

28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?

A l w a y s.

29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

It’s nice! Like.... I wouldn’t require anyone to do it, but it makes people feel better about their blogs, it’s polite. I know I’m happier getting memes as well as passing them along. You know, be social. Connect with people. I always try to practice it, yeah.

30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?

Uhhh, yeah. My irl social circles are a lot of dumb gay millennials, we use a lot of dumb internet slang.

31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge?

Oh yeah! Joined Tumblr rpc ten years late with Starbucks! But also like.... I’m a web developer. 90% of my irl workskills are being good at Googlin’ shit. So I’ve pretty much always found the answer on my own, at least. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

32. Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain? 

( See above. )

33. Have you ever experienced discrimination? 

Here or irl or....? I mean yes in any case, but much less often in the rpc specifically. This blog is a lot less outspoken ( both about politics or about who I....am....generally ) than most of my others or me irl.

Shoutout to that time I complained one (1) time about how copacetic the H.arry P.otter rpc is and an actual irl n.eon.azi jumped in my inbox lmaooooooo.

34. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?

Uhhh, I don’t love it? But if they mostly chill and don’t fuck with my actual threads I usually ignore them. ¯\_( ‘ ‘ )_/¯

35. Have you ever cried while writing a reply?

No. I’m not like......good at crying. 😐

36. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?

Depends on the blog. Some multis I follow are in fandoms I just like don’t even understand, so I don’t read those. Sometimes I just don’t got the energy. But I read a lot of my friends’ other threads or threads on blogs I stan.

Good writing is good shit and I’m.....a big 👀 bitch. Tbh.

37. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

Call-out posts, bringing real life politics into rp, generally acknowledging that we have lives outside of the fictional world that affect how we read and interact with fiction.

( 👏 The O.rder 👏👏 of the 👏 P.hoenix 👏👏 is A.ntif.a 👏👏👏 )

I don’t want to ever push that onto other people though, definitely. (Especially people affected by terrifying irl politics and coming here for escapism. )

38. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?

Always 👏👏 tag 👏👏 fucking 👏 triggers 👏👏👏

I tag things that are common or obviously upsetting, and if someone asks I add whatever tags they need to my list — the “list” is mostly a mental tally so I occasionally fuck up, but god I feel strongly about triggers.

Let 👏 people 👏 who are hurting 👏👏 live. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

39. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?

Poking around to see how other people seem to “operate” and scrolling through posts about how to get started is so so so fucking helpful! Don’t be afraid to do it!

Also reach out to people as much as you can work up the spoons to. If they’re rude back to you, like..... They were never worth your time anyhow. You dodged a bullet.

( Value yourself 2k19 )

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 39-41

Chapter Thirty-Nine – Notes

Shallan does not want to be relegated to a scribal position.

I thought she'd have a greater surge of emotion on seeing Kaladin again, this time knowing that he was the one who killed her brother. She's very good at repressing things, but still. That was very quick for her.

Kaladinhas a talent for wrapping all that information up into a neat summary.

“like he had to be strict with himself to contain his passion.” No, Shallan, that description fits Dalinar. Kaladin has passion, but it's quieter than you're thinking, and isn't the cause of his solemnity. When his passion surges, he doesn't bother restraining it. That's Kaladin for you.

Kaladin and Jasnah are coming at this from blindingly different points of view – Jasnah removed and looking at the big picture, Kaladin at ground zero and emotionally invested in their 'enemies' as people. Theirs is not a clash that is going to be resolved easily.

Oooo, shit, I'm not surprised that Kaladin gave that retort, but that is generally not the kind of thing a soldier generally says to a superior. It is, however, a good thing to say, especially to Dalinar, who's had so many wars under his belt that he needs a new perspective to point things out sometimes.

Jasnah, it may seem hopeless, but remember the definition of stupidity.

I already worried about Kholinar. The fact that it's a “dark spot” to the Stormfather? Even more worry.

It hits even harder for Renarin, who probably knows his home like the back of his hands, knows the people who likely died in that assault…

Dalinar is right, but a part of me is pumping my fist in glee at the thought of an Adolin-Kaladin Strike Pair

(Did I not say before that I am a sucker for Battle Couples)

That's. Jasnah, did you not hear Dalinar when he explained that there was less than a year between Desolations before Aharietiam? Even if you send the Heralds back, that won't buy you any time! The fact that most of them are mad now only means that they'll cave more quickly!

Kaladin, I thought you were better than to call a woman “Woman”. Really. Seriously. Did you just do that.

She proposes the sacrifice of the one for the good of the many, but consider my previous argument as to how that particular solution is flawed.

Thank you, Dalinar.

Pffffft, and Shallan's getting distracting by all this talk of strategy. Unsurprising.

Shallan you had one job

...did you just backtalk to Jasnah?

Jasnah is hitting on a lot of very good points, and as expected, Shallan is retreating into herself. Hiding behind Veil as if Veil were an entirely separate person, though…

Honestly, I think Shallan would benefit with some further guidance and authority - outside help in general. Without knowing the problems at hand, though, Jasnah probably isn't going to be able to provide that if Shallan simply slips behind another personality and shoves the blame for her other escapades/mental diversions.

“Was she perhaps simply not interested?” If my suspicions/headcanons of aro Jasnah are correct? Then yeah.

Wait wait wait, Helaran was an acolyte of the Skybreakers?

Chapter Forty – Questions, Peeks, and Inferences

Uli Da? That must be another of the Shattered Shards. (Upon checking, Ambition. Makes sense that that one would be labeled a problem from the start.)

Two groups foresaw the return of the Desolations? The Sons of Honor had to be one, as they were apparently actively trying to make it happen, but what was the other…? Ohh, must be the Skybreakers who were trying to prevent it.

Goddamn it Gavilar.

[winces] Yeaaah, Nale has taken 'the ends justify the means' to heart with a vengeance.

Shallan's mother knew the Skybreakers? Or at least one of those who was applying to be in their order? Is that why she tried to kill Shallan all those years ago, when he was only a child?

“the only member of Amaram's army to have bonded a spren was long since eliminated.” And probably by the Skybreakers in an earlier strike, or simply engineered it so that a battle would take them out and make it look 'natural'

“There are lies in this letter.” And likely omitted truths as well. An organization like the Ghostbloods isn't going to give away anything more than they absolutely have to.

He's got you, Shallan. Mraize knows that you can't resist a good secret.

Even if Shallan has a bed at this point, I still imagine she likes to nest in as many covers as she can accumulate

It's good that she's getting to know her men, though this is certainly a novel way to do it – and probably the only real way to do it, since she is their employer.

“It's like she can't decide who she is, you know?” ohhhh, if only you'd take a look at your own advice…

I really like that we're getting a game and explanation. One more piece of worldbuilding, sure, but an important one to know considering that the Vorins aren't fond of dicing. Guessing games are probably common, though I feel like the lighteyes prefer games with a more strategical bent.

….Shallan did you get Pattern to spy on the pieces for you.

Trying to double-cross Mraize is a very, very dangerous proposition. However, it could likely be a rewarding one. You're definitely going to try it. You want those secrets too much not to try.

Oooo, I almost forgot that Shallan/Veil didn't know about your history with the bridge crews, Gaz. Though of all people, I wouldn't have guessed that you wanted to fly.

ISHNAH, HI. WELCOME TO CLUB VEIL.

You really want to get into the Ghostbloods if you're willing to spy on a (supposed) member, who at the very least you saw stab a knife through her own hand and Nat20 an Intimidation check.

That's actually quite the intelligent tactic, and with any luck you'll end up with a good many useful pawns that you can use to further your endeavours both with and against the Ghostboods, as well as building your own skills. Even better, you might draw Ishnah to your own side rather than the Ghostbloods'. But if she does go to the Ghostbloods and passes on intimate information on you…. That could back you into a tight corner.

Chapter Forty-One – On the Ground Looking Up

“You turned your back on divinity.” That sounds remarkably chromatic-dragon of you.

“If Rayse becomes an issue, he will be dealt with.” WHAT DO YOU THINK THE BLOODY ENTIRE ROSHARAN SYSTEM WAS ALL ALONG, YOU OVERGROWN LIZARD, ODIUM'S GOAL ALL ALONG? NO. THIS IS A SPEED BUMP, UNLESS SOMEHOW THE ROSHARANS CAN PULL OFF A FUCKING MIRACLE. THIS IS THE DISTRACTION THAT KEEPS ODIUM FROM WRECKING THE REST OF THE COSMERE, INCLUDING YOU, YOU SYPHILLITIC CROCODILE.

“And so will you.” Counterspell. Fuck off.

TEFT

FINALLY. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN.

In… alleyways. Dirty ones, without a care for yourself. ...okay then.

“a night on the moss”? Ten rubies says that that's a drug metaphor. Teft. Is that what you mean by 'need'? From this, I suspect so.

...you're being followed by an Honorspren, aren't you.

Yeaaaah, 'mossing' is definitely drugs

Ohhhhh, you felt the wrongness too? Indication of proto-Truthwatcher or -Lightweaver, perhaps, since Shallan and Renarin were the only two to 'sense the wrongness', though I don't think either of those Orders would suit you.

Oh no, oh Teft, what Oaths have you spoken, despite looking for escape...

Your own coat, Teft

He has a support system right there waiting for him, but he'd not ever think to reach for it. With him so practiced at dissembling, they wouldn't know to reach for him, either. But it's what he needs most desperately in the end, even if he doesn't realize it.

[bdamantherapper]

BDaMan’s Show Log (6/23/2017-6/24/2017)

*The following events take place between Friday, June 23rd and Saturday, June 24th.* Friday 12:01am - As Show Day has finally approached, it's time to start logging the events and work my way towards getting in that zone for tonight's show. 12:15am - As I usually do each day around this time, I decide to check my "On This Day" on Facebook. Found a lot of stuff relating to the "Here's The Man" release in 2013, along with a bunch of show stuff from past years. The most interesting part I discovered was that Facebook reminded it that it had been four years since B.Allen and I became Facebook friends. For anyone who knows my history real well, you'd know that obviously I've known B.Allen and Jabri way longer than 4 years. I'm assuming there was a short time period in 2013 (for whatever reason) that B.Allen and I weren't Facebook friends. All of that aside, I'm reminded that as the end of June approaches, it marks the 16 year mark that I've known B.Allen and Jabri. (Short version of the normal version of the story: Met them in late June 2001 at my Grandma's place, their mom married my dad in 2004) I'm reminded that the people you meet in life can be minor or major, depending on how the natural flow of life goes. If you would've told me a year prior in June 2000 that I'd be pursuing music heavily with someone who not only has the same name as me (with a different spelling), but someone that would be a big brother to me - I would've been so confused, to a point where I don't believe it. 12:38am (cont. from 12:15am): Since 2014, I've done full 30-45 minute performances (also known as sets) with B.Allen and prior to that, full performances with variations of the New Life crew, one exception being June 2009 at The Beat Coffeehouse. Tonight's performance marks the first full solo performance of mine since the 2009 one. B.Allen and I had a mutual understanding days ago that he wouldn't be able to perform with me for this show. I'm not taking it as hard as I once would have, it's hard to go from that transition of having someone with you on stage all these years back to solo performances. As they say, though: "The show must go on." 1:05am - Only in my house can I watch my mom watch "Orange Is The New Black" while I watch "The Bernie Mac Show". The way our house is set up, I get the best of both worlds. 3:05am - Night #2 of looking at TV Tropes of various shows. TV Tropes are officially as interesting as samples in music. 4:35am - Still not completely tired yet. Thank goodness for Melatonin and "Hey Arnold!" It'll take its course soon enough... 9:54am - With the help of some foolproof alarms, I managed to wake up when I needed to. With how long today's gonna be, I didn't wanna waste any time. 10:01am - Can't go wrong with The Price Is Right! Now just gotta decide if I'm having breakfast or lunch today. 11:22am - After a fair amount of promoting the show, I've decided on having lunch. Can't let the hustle of promoting delay the day. 12:17pm - Now that lunch is done, it's time to get some practicing in. 12:41pm - I really hate how any form of text communication can be misconstrued. I often can read through it, but sometimes, there are people who just come off so passive aggressive. Put some respeck on your texts to me. 1:24pm - Time to get some practice in! 2:12pm - My solo practice is cut a bit short, as I had to call Tony back (imagine Frank Gallagher, but a bit shorter and slightly more sane) to check in with him and see how he's doing. Convos with him always remind me to never take myself too seriously and to never take any disrespect. 3:02pm - Gotta get ready for the final practice with the Gazda band, prior to the show. Here comes the long part of my day. 3:43pm - Cos lets me know that he'll be here to pick me up shortly. I feel like it took us a long time to not only do music together, but a long time for us to do shows together. It's something we've talked about since we worked together at Walgreens. To put it in perspective, it's about 5-6 years in the making. 3:58pm - We've arrived at Dave's place to get the final show practice in before the show. I also finally get to meet KJ and Blair, two very talented musicians who will be involved with tonight's set. 4:56pm - Practice is sounding awesome with everyone here! Can't wait to see everyone's reactions to the set. 5:43pm - Practice is complete! Time to pack up shop and make the travel to Nomad. Shout-out to Blair for the ride. 5:53pm - Had a chance to listen to my recordings from the practice before we left. It was dope hearing just how well my songs meshed with the Gazda stuff. Shoutout to Dave for hooking that up. 6:07pm - For the first time since November 2015, I have arrived at Nomad! A tad earlier than I expected, but oh well. 6:36pm - A nap might've been a smart idea. I'm tired as a mug. I shouldn't have trusted the alarm tones of "Morning's Here" from Friends, a Jadakiss laugh compilation, a Kanye noises compilation and a compilation of Big Sean saying "Oh god!" It got me up, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna be staying up haha. Godspeed. 6:54pm - Ran into the homie, Kama here at Nomad World Pub. Hopefully gonna link with him on some shows and music. 7:05pm - My all-time favorite James Brown song, "The Payback" is on right now.  I'm containing my hype haha. Mitch (one of Dave's roommates) is spinning the classics right now! 7:09pm - The OG is turnt about "The Payback" right now. 7:43pm - Only in my lifetime can I just witnessed a "Happy Vagina" be drawn. Somewhat doubles as an happy avocado haha. KJ's artistry at work! All for the love of Planned Parenthood, y'all. 7:48pm - Just found out about 7 minutes ago about all the set times. I go on with Gazda at 10:45. 7:59pm - Aw, shit! "Flashlight" is playing!! For those who don't know, that is my favorite song of all time. 8:23pm - These fries are tasty as hell, though!! Shouts out to Sarah for sharing her fries. Chronicles of a Broke Rapper. 8:33pm - First time in the Green Room since the first Culchr Showcase from November 2015. So many memories plus thoughts racing through my mind. 8:47pm - Before I left the Green Room, I saw an old Culchr sticker we put down there. It felt so symbolic to see that, despite not quite feeling the Culchr surroundings love today. No Alex or B.Allen with me for this one. However, I hear "Juicy Fruit" by Mtume and it makes me feel better. Most specifically, the sampled vocals that Biggie interpolated for "Juicy". 8:59pm - Just heard the sample for "Looking At The Front Door" by Main Source. I believe Cos is DJing at the moment, not sure. On another note, it's dope that it's still pure daylight at 9pm. 9:16pm - Had to grab the portable charger quick. As I came back up and outside, I ran into the big homie, Carnage. Last time I saw him was at our Club Underground performance in November 2015. It's gonna be interesting taking the stage after his band performs. That's a mighty name to follow when it comes to the lyrics. 9:28pm - Cricket and Bernard are the emcees of the night. They seem like naturals at it. This is gonna be an interesting ass night. 9:31pm - Wild Age is up. This is the band that Blair is also in. They have a good 90s type rock sound. 9:51pm - Well then...looks like we're after Wild Age. Time to speed up the flip of the switch! 10:03pm - Apparently, we aren't next lol. Cos told me that Everything's Been Taken wanted to trade, but then retracted said trade after realizing they were already in the spot they needed to be in, set wise. Total tactical error. On a side, "We're on the move...nothing can stop us now! FEET DON'T FAIL ME NOW!" 10:31pm - Everything's Been Taken (Carnage, Laura Lou and Soul Beautiful) are up. I expect nothing less than dopeness here. They don't call Carnage the "Show Stealer" for nothing! If you add Carnage to an eclectic of musicians, there's minimal room for error. I'd like to also add that on the local scene, Carnage has been a driving force of inspiration for how my style has morphed. Ever since him and Desdamona came to my Poetry class in Senior year, I've been finding ways to carry that growl in my vocals while having some fun with it. That's about 7 years of me taking notes, sure ain't stopping now. 11pm - Got my drink tickets from Cos finally. Time to drink this Surly Hell. Still blown away by Carnage's performance of "MN Mean". Goddamn!! 11:15pm - Everything's Been Taken is on their final song, meaning that Gazda and myself are next! Now, it's time to flip that switch very soon. 11:21pm - Had to give Carnage props on the dope set. Told him how he's been an inspiration since 2010 and he told me how I was doing good to represent for the big men by having energy on stage. Man...my jitters are kicking in fast! 11:50pm - In the words of Sting, "It's SHOWTIME!" Saturday 12:21am - Wow! That turned out doper than I ever imagined!! Got some good props from a good chunk of people, especially Carnage himself. Even the OG from Louisiana gave me props. He was shocked as hell that I went the whole time prior to the show without saying anything about performing tonight. I still gotta work on the whole not losing the voice thing, but I pulled it off decently enough with some "change in mid-stream" mannerisms. 12:35pm - Shoutout to Sarah and Shane for letting me get a slice of their pizza. Hedgies Pizza, that's a major key! Shout-out to KJ as well for her very, very talented vocals. Shout-out to Dave for doing his thing on the bongos, as well as Blair for the keyboard and guitar - so dope! And of course, shout-out to Cos for getting it all together and having me involved. I have a feeling this is the start of a great musical relationship. 12:53am - Big shout-out to Blair for the ride home. Saved a young brotha some time. Wish I could've stayed to see Ayvah, but my body was telling me to get home for sleep. 1:10am - "Back to my palace, cause I suffer Morning Madness!" 1:45am - I'm about to slay these hot dogs and get ready for the decompress portion of the night. 2:52am - Catching up on Beat Shazam with my mom. At least this keeps me hype about music. 4:20am - As I watch "Malcolm & Eddie", I reflect on the day as a whole. Very, very few negative moments and a whole lot of positive moments (even some unexpected positive moments). A truly glorious day. I never understand how I manage to have so much energy after this much time has passed. One of many of my life's mysteries. Until the next show log, this is BDaMan - closing it out!