#double whammy here folks lol

[fat-house-cat-vibes]

How's your view looking straight down now? Must changed since before?

Ngl it hasn't changed much, still look down and just see my boobs

(Please ignore the dog toys 🙏)

[librarycard]

since you've seen catws over 30 times, can you give a summary of the plot? I've actually seen the movie multiple times, but gun to my head I cannot explain the flow of events. I press play and am transported to pure vibes. so i'd like to consider you an expert and helo me with my dilema.

this is so funny yeah i can try. edit: essentially this is not a summary i realized three paragraphs in that i am delivering a play by play with commentary of everything that happens in this movie. im still doing it though sorry

 so basically steve has been adjusting to life in the 21st century and is really struggling with it. hes moved to dc to work for shield, which he understands to be a department that helps folks (which is a dumb thing to assume of any government affiliated organization LOL they were also majorly manipulating him on top of that from the get go so double whammy but ya ya i digress) while on a run, he makes friends with sam wilson, who unlike basically anyone else in the 21st century so far is the only guy to treat him as a normal guy/what he actually is (a veteran w ptsd that 1 lost his best friend 2 has been thrown into a whole new world with no help at all and that the war was literally like what? barely 2 years ago for him?)

anyway after he meets sam he is picked up by nat and they go on a mission with brock rumlow and several shield agents. this mission takes place on a ship in the middle of the ocean where several shield agents are being held hostage by french speaking terrorist dudes. steve (the smart cookie) is like why the hell are shield guys in the middle of the ocean? anyway he thinks hes leading this mission (he is not) and tells everyone what to do to save these hostages (which isnt even the actual mission at all). inevitably this comes to light when he sees nat trying to save some data from the ships computers, as that was HER secret mission. steve is fucking pissed as hell about this and then they got blown up and shit by the french pirates. they get out fine tho

moving on steve confronts fury like. why the hell are the people IM trying to lead being given different info and instructions than me? and fury is like let me tell u about something. and then he tells them about project insight, which is this thing that shield is planning to launch that will be able to basically insta kill any body in the entire world they identify as a threat (threat being vague enough bc well as we can see we learned nothing from basically any part of history at all) before the person can act on their "intended crimes". steve is pissed again bc like who are these guys to determine who is a "threat"? how do you define that? like his iconic line here (iconic 2 me that is) is him saying "this isnt freedom this is fear" cause like it is. losers

and moving on from that we've got a kind of suspicious fury trying to decrypt the data he had nat retrieve. this is presumably bc fury as we know is apparently 5 steps ahead of every fucking body and was already having some concerns about project insight (which again i must say as an aside. any normal person would be concerned.). fury being the head of shield is one of the only individuals who should have total clearance on all shield decisions and projects etc. however, he finds that he does NOT have clearance to access this data. he takes this concern to alexander pierce, the secretary of state is like omg weird :) how weird bro sure i can ask about delaying the project but if ur asking me bro i dont think the other govt bigwigs we got in on this will want to!

anyway moving on once more fury is officially like ok wtf is going on. and is going to meet up with hill. BUT THEN. explody violence killing blah blah blah all these cops and swat members are after him! HIM! HEAD OF SHIELD! how strange! and furys like doin all this shit trying to escape but then his car gets exploded. and oh shit. theres this guy. hes got a mask on. HE WAS THE ONE THAT EXPLODED THE CAR! and hes kind of sexy. and hes approaching. and fury the crazy bitch has used some sort of laser cutter thing to carve a hole through the ground and escape. the absolute legend.

cut to steve going home. he runs into his neighbor who has told him that hes a nurse or some shit. he flirts with her bc hes trying to make a normal life for himself i guess and do normal girl things like date. anyway neighbor girl is like oh btw i think u left or record player on? music has been playing for a while and shit. and steve is immediately like omg rly haha? BUT HE KNOWS HE DIDNT LEAVE THAT SHIT ON BRO! HE KNOWS. and he enters with his guard all up and BOOM theres fury. steve is like wtf are you doing here??? and fury is like SHHHH. bro things are happening its crazy. shield compromised, eyes everywhere, people are listening, the whole shebang man. and steve is like???? wtf dude? and fury gives him a flash drive. AND THEN FURY IS SHOT THROUGH THE WINDOW. CRAZY AS HELL. and NEIGHBOR LADY BREAKS IN. TURNS OUT SHES NOT NEIGHBOR LADY. SHES A SHIELD OPERATIVE THAT IS COVERTLY ASSIGNED TO PROTECT STEVE.

now we got steve chasing over the assailant with his cool tell them im in pursuit line. steve chases this dude across buildings and shit and throws his shield at him when they reach the end of a rooftop. then HOLY FUCK THE GUY. HES CAUGHT THE SHIELD. THIS DUDE JUST CAUGHT A VIBRANIUM SHIELD WITH A COOL ROBOT ARM! OK!

moving on fury is on the operating table and he straight up dies there with maria and nat and steve watching. and i dont wanna look it up but i think here is when steve hides the flash drive in a vending machine behind some gum for some fucking reason. why the hell that would be a good place to hide it idk. anyway steve is summoned to pierce and pierce with his robert redford charm is like so :) anything u wanna tell me. and steve is like. :) no lol. and then he leaves and we’ve got the cool ass elevator scene where steve is with an elevator full of hydra agents and has to fight them all, including brock rumlow from the hostage ship scene at the beginning. he escapes and goes back to get the flash drive and nat has gotten it and blows a bubble in his face cause shes sexy like that. and they have their little moment where he shoves her against a wall and is all up in her face being like WHAT DO YOU KNOW WHATS GOING ON. and nat reveals that she knows who the guy is. the winter soldier. she met him on a mission where she was trying to protect some dude and the WS shot the person THROUGH HER. bye bye bikinis she quips. dw nat ur still sexy 2 me.

they leave and essentially go to a mall have their fake/pretend relationship ao3 moment and use a mall tech shop computer to figure out whats on the flashdrive, which is coordinates to a base. steve is like uMMMMM WTF. I DID BASIC THERE. and they go and discover that theres a SECRET SHIELD BUNKER WITH THIS HUGE ANCIENT ASS SUPERCOMPUTER. AND TO MAKE IT WORSE ON THE COMPUTER IS THE STORED CONSCIOUSNESS OF ARNIM ZOLA NAZI HYDRA SCIENTIST. and zola tells them he was recruited by shield where he helped secretly embed hydra iinto the entirety of the organization and the WS was an assassin they used to kill ppl like howard stark. and then a missile tries to blow them up after zolas gotten out enough cheeky lines and they barely escape with their lives

then: ENTER BIG SEXY. its sam wilsons time to fucking shine when nat and steve go to him for help. sam is like alright lets go and they get his falcon suit. they go and nab jasper sitwell a hydra mole and make him reveal hydra info, ie that hydra has been collecting info on threats to their evil doings (hello duh). then theyre driving and WHAM goodbye sitwell, motherfuckers yanked out the car by the WS. cue huge epic fight scene, best in the mcu if you ask me, where steve and WS end up going head to head and he accidentally rips WS' mask off, revealing BUCKY BARNES, the supposed to be dead bestie of steve rogers. steve says bucky? bucky says. who the hell is bucky? with his sexy underused voice. my beloved.

anyway steve is in an extreme state of shock and bucky, unnerved, runs, and steve sam and nat are all arrested. steve has his new mission acquired moment whereas nat and sam are like man idk.... hes kind of yknow a renowned insane murder machine. steve is like you literally do not get it. hes my fucking cinnamon apple you assholes. i will kill this whole world for him. and they are like damn steve ok AND THEN. VIOLENCE IN THE FUCKING SWAT VEHICLE WHEN ONE SWAT MEMBER STARTS ATTACKA KILLING THE OTHER ONES. and boom thats actually maria hill in disguise. shes like whats up yall. theyre like um. anyway she takes them to FURY, who is ACTUALLY STILL ALIVE AND JUST FAKED HIS DEATH. fury is like you guys have to stop this shit. here are some chips to replace the ones on the helicarriers that will fuck up hydras plans and make the helicarriers only target each other

anyway buckys back with hydra being like um did yall see that? he knew me. and theyre all like gaslight gaslight gaslight brainwash electro shock blah blah blah

moving on its time to fuck shit up. the world security council has shown up to see to the launch of project insight. except NAT IS ONE OF THE WSC IN DISGUISE and she disarms pierce. then fury shows up like hiiii hello in a way that actually doesnt feel super dramatic cause they watch him land and then walk all the way inside like ok. by the time hes there not even super anticlimactic but whatever. anyway fury makes pierce leak all of shields classified info (including nat’s criminal past as part of the red room but shes like its fine its necessary etc) so that ppl know about hydra. and fury shoots and kills pierce bye bye pierce

steve is at this time recruiting all the “good” shield guys and fighting all the hydra agents with sam while trying to get to the helicarriers. they get the first two no prob but before they can do the third one bucky shows up newly mindwiped and fights them super much. he destroys sams suit leaving the fight to just buck and steve. meanwhile brock and sam are fighting slash running and this ends with brock getting exploded to shit and sam jumping into a helicopter to escape from the building. meanwhile bucky and steve are still on the third helicarrier. steve is like babe this isnt u…… come back 2 me……. im with u til the end of the line……. and refuses to fight back and buck is like UMMM WHAT THE FUCK. SHUT THE HELL UP YOU WEIRDO STOP TALKING IM FREAKIN OUT and beats steve the fuck up. during this fight the ship is exploded and steve falls off the ship and into the potomac with bucky watching him fall with his fist raised to land another punch

cut to steve going super under semi unconscious about to fucking drown and someone pulls him out. OH LOOK ITS BUCKY. oh damn hes leaving steve on the shore. goodbye bucky.

now we cut to all the hydra agents being arrested and nat appearing before court for her red room crimes. she is like you wont fucking arrest me you need me. im sexy and competent and you all suck. and theyre all like. yeah ok shes got a point. fury fucking burns all his shit and decides to go hunting hydra in europe, presumed dead by the world. sam is like heyyy steve. whats up. steve is like well. i know he just fucked me up but im gonna go find bucky. i gotta bc i am gay and in love with him and stuff. and sam is like damn. fine ill go too then. meanwhile brock is revealed to have lived though severely burned in the hospital

i am ignoring the mid credits scene bc i fucking hate that stupid bullshit. post credit scene slays though bc its bucky visiting his own memorial in the smithsonian and him being like well damn that is me. ok.

anyway thats the movie. this is long as hell but frankly thats bc i am still insane about catws to this day unfortunately. goodbye

[crozbow]

Song Tag Double Whammy

So my dude @fujiquacki tagged me in some things and I’m gonna do em and add vague descriptions because it’s 3am and I love music. (sidenote this took me like 3 hours so now it's 6am whatever tho)

I'll do the tagging stuff now, I don’t think i have 10 mutuals who aren’t also tagged in fuji’s post but I’ll tag as many as i can way up here so you don't have to read like 1100ish words of me being gay for music if you don't want to lmao

@standarddivination, @thecockmeister, @samsucc, @marvelfangeek09, @tia-lewise, @pure-love-and-destruction, @thehavenabovereality, come check this out and do it if you feel like it lol

Part 1:

Rules: If you can, list the Top Ten songs you are listening to lately, and tag ten mutuals to do the same!

1) Get Got // Death Grips

(Brutal experimental industrial hip-hop that about police chases and death with really dark and intimidating synth)

2) Garden Shed // Tyler, The Creator

(The number one song about being in the closet ever, also some really trippy melodies and great vocals from both Tyler and Estelle, also I don't know what pedals they used to get the great guitar effect in the bridge but i fkn want them)

3) Under Your Thumb // Godley & Creme

(Fabulous synth and a haunting (haha) story about meeting the ghost of a suicidal woman on the train she threw herself in front of.)

4) Thou Shalt Always Kill // Dan Le Sac vs Scroobious Pip

(More great hip-hop, this time an inspiring message about how to think critically and not worship content creators)

5) Barracuda // Heart

(That classic flanger riff at the start is really ingrained in my mind recently and also Ann Wilson's voice is freaking great on this track wow)

6) Garbage Truck // Sex Bob-omb/Beck

(Scott Pilgrim is my all time fave and I got a new fuzz pedal that sounds so much like this I've been thinking of covering it, indie rock with heavy overdriven bass and simple but loveable vocals)

7) Now The Action Is On Fire // Biffy Clyro

(The kind of heavy alternative rock that’s the staple of Biffy's early albums, the driving guitar and interesting drum pattern contrasted with violins and soft vocals on this one keep me coming back to it despite it being fairly hefty at like 8 minutes long ish)

8) Just Keep Walking // INXS

(A great Australian mix of New Wave, Ska and a dash of poppy melody, this track has a sweet bassline and a catchy hook and I haven't been able to stop playing it since I bought the band's 1st LP last week)

9) Friend Zone // Yucky Duster

(Brooklyn quad Yucky Duster's intro to their self titled album is a fabulously blunt deconstruction of the way creepy guys think. Coupled with a great guitar riff that makes for a short but surprisingly replayable track here)

10) The Working Hour // Tears For Fears

(MMMMMmmmmmm that saxophone and also Roland Orzabal's voice is honey right here wow I love new wave and synthpop and damn I'm very gay for the 80s in general but jeez this song exemplifies it)

Part 2:

Rules: Write the first 10 songs that come up on shuffle, write your favorite lyrics, then tag 10 people.

Moonage Daydream // David Bowie Keep your electric eye on me babe Put your ray gun to my head Press your space face close to mine, love Freak out in a moonage daydream oh yeah! (This one always makes me think of like an awesome raypunk romance type scene I love it)

Irresistible // Fall Out Boy You ought to keep me concealed just like I was a weapon I didn't come for a fight but I will fight 'til the end This one might be a battle, might not turn out okay You know you look so Seattle but you feel so LA (I’ve never been to Seattle or LA but damn I guess I’m feeling what he’s saying here)

Here Comes The Hotstepper // Ini Kamoze Nah, na na na nah Na na na nah, na na nah, na na nah Na na na nah Here comes the hotstepper (murderer) I'm the lyrical gangster (murderer) Big up di crew in-a di area (murderer) Still love you like that (murderer) (A true classic, really, if you don’t naaa nananana along with this we aren’t friends)

Lullaby // The Cure Quietly he laughs and shaking his head Creeps closer now, closer to the foot of the bed And softer than shadow and quicker than flies His arms are all around me and his tongue in my eyes Be still be calm be quiet now my precious boy Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more For it's much too late to get away or turn on the light The spider-man is having you for dinner tonight (Robert Smith is creepy af when he wants to be and this is such a great depiction of depression and addiction in a lyrical form wow)

Letter From God To Man // Scroobious Pip vs Dan Le Sac So I apologize for any mistakes I made And when my words misconstrued But this apology's to Mother Nature Cause I created you (Weirdly not the only song about how we’re messing up earth but probably the wittier of the two)

505 // Arctic Monkeys But I crumble completely when you cry It seems like once again you've had to greet me with "Goodbye" I'm always just about to go and spoil a surprise Take my hands off of your eyes too soon (damn this breakdown is depressing but also a banger)

Waiting // Green Day I've been, waiting a long time For this, moment to come I'm destined, for anything at all (aimlessly drifting has always been my thing so yano)

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me" // Fall Out Boy And you're just the girl all the boys want to dance with And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances I'm sleeping on your folks' porch again, dreaming She said, she said, she said "Why don't you just drop dead?" (I feel like this pre-chorus haunted me back in my angsty emo days and it will probably actually haunt me for the rest of my life, but secretly i kinda love it)

Forest // System Of A Down Why can't you see that you are my child? Why don't you know that you are my mind? Tell everyone in the world that I'm you Take this promise to the end of you (A song about mother earth pleading with her offspring humanity to recognize what they’re doing to her and step out of the forest of their denial, equally ghostly and heavy this chorus is always hard hitting)

Shoplifters Of The World Unite // The Smiths Shoplifters of the world Unite and take over Shoplifters of the world Hand it over, hand it over, hand it over (Karl Marx’s “worker of the world, unite...” remixed by Morrissey to suit harsh realities in the dole lines of working class England)

Thanks for coming to my musical TEDx talk you guys