#double door or combo vending machine

[anaconamor]

telepathy - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: business is business. what happens when certain business is now in a twist when a new stranger comes along? let alone when there’s tension with your now boss who’s a very known stranger in the past?

wc: 7.5k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist | part one

psa 🗣️: phewww it’s been a while since i made a long fic, but it’s a christmas miracle!! here’s part two to the long awaited ceo! jude fic!! this fic does contain smut so minors dni!! 🔞 like always i hope you enjoy!! 🤍 i do apologize in advance for any spelling errors…

“let’s call a twenty-minute break, i need to rest my eyes for a bit,” your co-worker called out, everyone in the room letting out a despaired sigh of relief. you push your glasses up, grab your water bottle and wallet, walking out the room to the nearest vending machine to buy snacks. you greet some employees as you pass, twisting the cap to refill with ice and water. 

by instinct, you turn your head to the side looking at the huge double doors that lead to his office. you see him on an appeared work call, frustrated as he speaks loudly and with his hands, brows pulled in with a tiny frown playing on his lips. he hangs up, writing a quick note before looking up and locking eyes with you. taken at back you looked away quickly, focusing on how you almost overfilled your water bottle. 

you quickly pay for some cookies and salty crisps, avoiding how you feel a pair of eyes following you as you return to the workroom. you trip on the tiny door frame as you look back to jude, feeling two arms holding you steady, a quick thank you escaping your lips at your clumsiness. “sorry that was my fault, i wasn’t looking straight,” you laugh off. 

“it’s all good! don’t stress it can happen to anyone. i blame this doorframe for making it have a step,” the stranger jokes, looking up to see a guy dressed in a white tee and leather jacket combo, dark wash jeans, and a pair of sneakers. very much giving book-coded. “i-i didn’t catch your name? i’m matt,” the green-eyed man extends your hand, and you shake it out of respect. 

“i’m y/n, it's very nice to meet you,” you smile and walk off not thinking much of it since he was either new or already worked here. you open your crips offering your friends around the room, sipping on your water as you hear lilly say something, “oh you met the new guy! that’s matt, he’s joining us at the end of the year.”

“yeah i did, right when i walked in, he seemed nice,” you shrug going back to the notepad and crossing of the items you had done and highlighting the ones you wanted to finish before the end of the day. “you didn’t hear from me, but he apparently demanded to be hired,” lilly whispered raising her brows and pursed her lips. “demanded?” you ask curiously, thinking of jude right away and how he would’ve reacted.

“yeah! which is infuriating since we went through the whole process of interview after interview, background checks, and even a test! suddenly just because he’s a man and demands to work here he gets accepted? yeah, i don’t like that,” lilly stressed typing harsher on her keyboard. “well to everyone else he’s perfect on paper, but to us, he will have to get to know us for us to trust his word… we will see if he can fit in, we’ve become a tiny family,” you say softly sending a smile to lilly where she nodded. 

💌 — judebellingham@*****.com

Good Evening Ms. Y/n, I hope you are well. 

your eyes shot up, pulse-raising as it had a couple minutes ago. the email notification caught you completely off guard making you lower your brightness immediately and scramble around. 

💌 — judebellingham@*****.com

We have a scheduled meeting in 5 mins, just a quick update on the project. Your team members requested you to speak to me. 

💌 — yournamelastname@*****.com

Will do! See you then! 

💌 — judebellingham@*****.com 

I take it you met Matt? 

your brows pull in confused, wondering why on earth he’s asking this, especially on the company's email, knowing everything could be checked and traced back. your fingers hesitate to type back a response, not knowing the outcome or why all of the sudden you felt eyes boring into you. 

jude leaned back in his chair, seeing his latest email being read yet no response back. was his question appropriate? to HR, yes. but to you? maybe not so much. jude knew how you would read this in a different manner, but he couldn’t wait to ask. he saw how he stared at you, where his hands traced, how his smile wasn’t anything friendly and more of flirtatious manner. so yes, he was going to ask. 

💌 — yournamelastname@*****.com

I did! He was very lovely and professional! Great choice for the group!

while jude chuckled almost angrily, a knock interrupted his typing, looking up to see his assistant bringing in printed paperwork he had to sign off. he knew in a few minutes you were to step into his office, just the two of you. jude gripped his pen harshly, aggressively signing off with his signature, mimicking your words because he knew you were pushing his buttons. 

“your meeting with ms. y/l/n starts soon, would you like me to bring anything?” his assistant asked, stacking the paper and organizing them in the folder. “lock the door and just make sure no one comes in and disturbs us,” jude said, looking back to his screen and seeing you hadn't replied yet, rather met with a new email from a different company. 

“hello good afternoon mr. bellingham,” you spoke professionally, greeting his assistant as he walked out, the door clicking shut. your legs felt wobbly as you walked over and sat on the chair, taking out your notebook and your favorite black pen. “ms. y/n it's nice to see you,” jude smiled leaning back as he stared at you. “we discussed the course last tuesday as a group but to my understanding there were a few changes made, along with an update on the january project correct?” jude spoke, his voice stern and serious which intimidated you. 

why you? why couldn't someone else be up here right now?

jude watched you intensely, how your legs crossed, your fresh new set of manicured nails flashing and catching his eyes instantly, your voice soft but full of professionalism, your new hair now slightly shorter than last time, but what caught his attention was the new charm on your bracelet, the letter ‘a’ with a tiny heart on the bottom, something anyone could miss but not jude. 

his mind immediately wondered to what it could be, what it stood for, or whose name. question after question and theory after theory was driving him insane. “we believe the january campaign will be finished by the end of next week, and we would begin the february one starting the new year after the break,” you finished seeing his brown eyes on you. “mr. bellingham?” you whispered jude humming as he interlocked his hands and placed them under his chin. 

you grew more and more intimidated, afraid that you were just blabbering and not actually giving him the new information, or worse he disagreed with what you and the group were working on. you had confrontational issues and this wasn’t helping at all. the familiar race of your pulse, your stomach dropping, what was it that you were more scared of, him, or the idea of failure. 

“i told you to call me jude,” he said, making you almost roll your eyes. “and i thought i told you i wouldn’t because we’re at work,” you defended knowing it wasn't proficient to do so. 

jude squinted his eyes slightly before speaking again, “the new changes sound amazing just remember to be updating the timeline as you do and make your team aware that once this is done there no updating or fixing any longer. we delayed it a week because of the site crash but we can’t delay anymore longer. as for the january campaign send tomas with the contract and i'll sign it for my approval next week when i see a close-to-finished presentation…”

you nodded your head paying attention as you wrote on your sticky notes his reminders. “i will let the team know, thank you for your time,” you flashed a smile, gathering your belongings and wanting to rush out the door, not because you were uncomfortable, but the last time you two were alone he had kissed you and his assistant walked in. you’ve kept your respective distance since then, knowing you wouldn’t be able to control yourself around him. 

“what are your plans for break?” he asked suddenly, you paused your movements afraid to look up or even answer. you were indeed ignoring him, but not on purpose, maybe a slight bit. when it came to being around jude there was this indescribable tension, where no words had to be exchanged, just a single look and you both knew. 

since the shared kiss in this office, all you felt was the taint and taste of his lips. the desperation of wanting him back in your arms, and having nights like those from the past summer. it drove you insane, knowing you spent hours in the same building yet you were so apart from each other. the looks could deceive anyone but not you or him. 

you knew you were being naive and just trying to protect your image and his. though if word got out you had slept with the boss, hell would break loose. you were caught that day in his office, by his assistant, had it been anyone else you don’t know what would’ve happened. you let yourself be careless and free and it almost faced you with consequences. 

there was nothing more you wanted than to at least attempt a relationship with jude. but the partnership was risky business. being in here was already risky with his assistant knowing what happened a few weeks ago. how would people react to you and him? the rumors or just overall overwhelming sense of being judged? you knew yourself, and you couldn’t handle that mentally. 

“so far catch up on some well-deserved sleep, i’m also hosting a friendsmas at my apartment, besides that stay-in, no travel this year,” you smile at him, jude walks over and leans on his desk. “sounds like an ideal break,” jude offered back a smile handing you the folder you had brought, your fingers slightly grazing his. 

“and you? what are your plans?”

you didn’t want to be rude but the curiosity got the best of you and you had to ask. despite being CEO you pictured maybe he would also have some time off. “i have to work, but if i wasn’t i would go back to visit and spend the holidays somewhere hotter then this cold weather,” he said. 

you frowned, “not at least one day off? you need some time for yourself, especially for the holidays,” you almost insisted. you loved and cherished the holidays. the traditions, the lights and trees, the weather, the food, the time off for friends and family. you felt bad for him, he had expressed that summer how he appreciated the days he had off. 

“unfortunately not this year. my parents decided to travel for christmas and new years and my brother got stuck at work as well. the company is also behind on some due dates and i have to be here to make sure everything goes in order,” jude sighed, watching how you shifted your weight from one foot to another. 

from times you spoke with jude he never mentioned his family, hell even his friends, so this was definitely a surprise coming from him. he was always serious and only focused on his company's success. a knock on your door made you jump, your head swiftly turning to see lilly walk in, jude instantly scowled, standing uo straight. 

“i'm so sorry to interrupt but we need her back because the vender came in and were planning the host,” lilly said rapidly out of breath. “don’t worry we were done here?” you asked curiously, jude nodding, “let me know if anything changes, i will be here!” jude dismissed. you let out a breath of relief, lilly gushing “i know he’s our boss but damn that man is so fine.” 

if only she knew… 

the next week flew by quick, and before you knew you were having a christmas lunch to say bye for the break. you all pitched in to bring food and items, some warm cookies and hot chocolate, sandwiches, and fruit layed out. relief and finally some relaxation ran through everyone, knowing after a long couple of months you finally got some well deserved rest. 

the encounter with jude didn’t leave your mind, in fact it kept you up day and night. he wasn’t in the office apparently due to some business outside town, but he sent his regards and thank you for our hard work. you often kept looking back to the empty office, wishing that maybe you could see him one last time before you all went separate ways. 

“what do you mean he was caught kissing someone? when was this?” lilly yelled, unable to control her raging emotions. “the jude bellingham? mr. perfect? he was caught kissing someone in his own office?” clarified julian, tapping his chin thinking, “where did you even hear this?” lilly asked chris. 

“it's could be just a rumor, for all we know it could be false. i overheard one of the 15 assistants he has during the lunch break today,” chris said nonchalantly, but your blood ran cold. it's as if you had seen a ghost or were caught again in his office. the same gut-wrenching feeling at the possibility of them knowing it was you. how could you be so careless?

“do they have an idea of who it could be?” lilly further asked and you were so close to shut her up, the walls closing in on you, and afraid that the sandwich you had eaten would make a reappearance. “they do know, but couldn’t say who because they signed an NDA. my guess its someone from this office or a celebrity. why would you force someone to sign a contract over a silly kiss? it’s weird,” chris continued, grabbing a cookie and taking a bite. 

“well, you guys know mr. bellingham, and his private life is completely private, if anything i don’t blame him. the world he’s in, all eyes on you watching your every move, its very eerie. a small slip up like that can cost him many ups and downs, so we shouldn’t even be discussing or else were next on that NDA contract,” julian defended, yet all you could do was stay silent. 

you trail your thoughts to that day, remembering how his assistance almost begged for forgiveness and swore he wouldn't say anything. the fury look on jude’s face but also the concern he had knowing every thought raced your mind. the fact you were new, your first real corporate job, the consequence of already fucking up your career because you let yourself be careless. over a damn kiss. 

your muscles tightened yet your hands shaked, you were angry not only at yourself but also the assistant who lied to his face and yours, knowing you were in jeopardy if people looked into it. you didn’t know how many people he had told during lunch or if had told other people in the past. the nerves and fear at everyone poking fingers at you worrying you. 

“i really want to know who it is! this is gonna keep me up at night because it happened here! right where we work,” lilly groaned sitting down and pushing her glasses up. the five of you looked at the door when someone knocked and walked inside. “hi everyone, i just came by to sign off the rest of my paperwork but i wanted to properly introduce myself, i’m matt!” the same guy who you accidentally bumped into last week walked in. 

“it's very nice to meet you, we hope everything went well and smoothly?” lilly said sarcastically, to which matt nodded, “very smoothly, i expected it to be difficult but they worked with me and what i was looking for.” you rolled your eyes a part inside you was glad he came in so the focus shifted around him rather than the kiss. 

“must be nice, no?” you offered a fake smile, you knew it was wrong but overall he was in the wrong for buying his way in. matt looked at you confused squinting his eyes and walking over to where you all stood by the cookies and sweets table. “what do you mean?” he smiled confidently. it seemed like you somehow manifested it, because before you could respond, jude walked in. 

“sorry i’m late everyone, but we just closed in on the february term. don’t worry,” jude’s smiled dropped at the sight of you standing next to matt. what the hell is he doing here? jude thought but gained focus again, “don’t worry this will all be planned once you come back, just wanted to pop in person to thank you for your incredible hard work and wish you all happy holidays!” 

jude would be lying if he said he hadn’t been rushing. he was called into a meeting on the other side of town to confirm and present details about a case, but all he could think of was you, and not being able to say bye. he knew it was the holiday party today and he wanted to get a last goodbye. he wore his best suit and favorite tie. 

yet that same jealousy feeling returned when he’d seen you with matt, he needed to keep his cool but this guy was already getting onto his guts. 

“thank you mr.bellingham, it’s been a pleasure, please help yourself to some cookies if you please,” lilly offered and he gladly took some. you distanced yourself from matt and pretended to grab your items, giving the message you were headed out. “ju- mr.bellingham, do you think i can speak to you really quick, it's about the project,” you lied, wanting to be alone and explain to him the situation. 

“sure follow me!”

“what’s up?” asked jude, his body language more relaxed as he unlocked his office. you waited till the door shut fully, “they know. they know about what happened,” you deadpanned, jude froze looking up and seeing your wild eyes. “how do they know? what do you mean by that?” jude whispered loudly. 

“chris was telling us how he overheard your assistant talking about it during their lunch break. i don’t want to seem like a tater tale but i’m scared jude… i’m scared about people finding out it was me,” you whimpered your eyes glossy as tears began to brim your eye sight. the anxiety getting to much and having no other option than to break down right here infront of him. 

“ssh it’s okay, listen it’s okay! i’ll take care of it,” jude ushered you, bringing you into his embrace, a quiet sob escaping your lips. “it’s not okay! jude people know what happened here. they know what took place because someone caught us, that person went around after they signed a contract and told people,” you tried to explain with a heavy heart and knot in the back of your throat. 

“i know that baby, i know you’re scared, but you just have to trust me on this one and that i will handle it. i’m giving you my word that nothing will happen to you. i know how hard you’ve worked for to be here, i won’t let this be the end of your career. just trust me,” and just like that his voice soothed you, just as it once did in the almafi coast. 

“just let me handle it.”

“jude we can’t. i know you wanted to try, well we wanted to try but it’s too risky. too risky for you, especially with the deal you signed off on, and too complicated for me. we’re back to square one, and i can’t threaten losing it all over this,” you spoke softly, jude stiffening, clearly not expecting this from you. just when he thought he could have you, you’re pulling away from him. 

“i can sue, you forget who i am.”

“do you not realize where that is going to get us? i am going to have to be present when it's what i’m trying to avoid. he knows who i am, if you threaten to fire him or even get near that idea he’s going to expose it all,” you exclaimed pulling apart from now a hurt jude. he stood quiet, thinking how you had a point but he wasn’t afraid of anyone let alone some assistant who was barely qualified for the job. 

“you should go… have an amazing break,” jude said after a minute in silence, you looked at him confused, still trying to find ways to help each other. 

“jude-”

“y/n just go,” jude stressed, your shoulders fell, feeling defeated and discouraged. how were you supposed to drop it and leave for three weeks and be unaware of anything? just wait like a sitting duck till you came back? you looked at jude who turned his back from you, removing his blazer, knowing he wasn’t going to say anything. you wiped your tears and walked out, not caring to say bye, just wanting to be alone to cry away the dread and sadness. 

your friendsmas was a success, a small get-together to just eat and chat, which ended up being amazing after the sorrowful week you had. you couldn’t sleep, as the conflict taunted you, being reminded that people out there knew what had happened. and you just had to wait. sadness turned to being impatient, impatient turned to anger, and that anger led to frustration. 

you wanted to know what he was doing if he truly was just working like he said. to see how he was solving the issue. you just wanted to be with him. this time alone made you realize maybe he was right, maybe you just had to trust him and see where things went. you couldn't just think of the worse, but the worse was already done. 

“y/n please tell us you're gonna go out! it’s saturday and we traveled all down here to be with you. you can’t stay here,” your best friend pleads for the third time, and you have no reason other to cave in, knowing they would take no for an answer. “now hurry your ass up we leave in an hour.”

a long sleeve black lace top, and a black denim mini skirt with boots, with makeup and hair done, you walked together downtown to where they wanted to go clubbing. it was a while since you last went out, so hearing the loud exhausts and smelling the familiar smoke of weed was like a deja vu. 

you forgot the adrenaline rush it gave you, the cool chills as they checked id’s and paid the fee. they wasted no time rushing to the bar and ordering a round of shots and drinks. you all stood near the bar, dancing sometimes talking as a mix of music played. it was a good vibe and you slowly felt yourself letting loose. the worries escaping as your favorite songs played and danced away with the girls. you didn’t want to drink much, wanting to stay aware of your surroundings in case anything happened, along with being sober enough to drive back to their place. 

“i need some air, wanna come with me?” you asked your friend who nodded, grabbing her drink and her pack of cigarettes for a smoke. “you okay? you were quiet during the dinner and at amy’s house,” she asked, the flame from her lighter lighting the cigarette. “just thinking, you know me. i'm a yapper but also an overthinker,” you giggled.

“someone on your mind?”

“yes actually…” you knew she would keep this confidential and take it down to the grave until you decided to tell the other girls. “i met a man last year, after graduation in the almafi coast. it was the best week i had. i mean like the best. we had sex, lots of sex, we went on small dates, watched the sunset, woke up together and had breakfast, danced, you name it. i can’t help but think, we also had this i don’t know? connection?” you spoke.

“and i am just now knowing of this? y/n!”

“listen to be fair, you guys ditched me so, it's your loss.”

“touche.” 

“never in my life have i met a man like him. he is straight out a book, tall, handsome, charming yet he  has this dominate side that just makes me,” you groaned in desperation, the flashbacks in your head not doing any justice. “i got too attached, and overthought what we had. we lived different lives, he had this quota status while i just had finished school. he was already successful while i just began my path to find future me. so i left…”

“you left? what do you mean you left?”

“while he was out doing a meeting, i managed to sneak out, i left him a letter and i apologized…i was scared, i felt like i wouldn’t ever be enough especially with his lifestyle. i tried to be positive but all i kept picturing was the absolute worst, i let myself leave and i regret that…” you smiled painfully as your friend stared at you with the biggest and widest eyes ever. 

“a letter? a damn letter? y/n you left that man hopeless and with questions unanswered. he probably blamed himself and wondered what he’d done! who even is this man! y/n i’m trying so hard not to smack you right now,” she took a smoke letting out a shaky puff. “that’s the funny thing, i ended up seeing him again, but under different circumstances…”

“meaning?” she said slowly. 

“i can’t and don’t want to say much, but we somehow work in the same place together… and he ranks higher than i’ll ever be…” you frown, thinking back to jude. jude here, jude there, you felt like he was everywhere and you couldn’t find an escape from him. a silent second was shared, your heat beating out your chest and head fuzzy from everything. 

“y/n… you should-”

“guys? come back in, we just ordered another round of shots! c’mon!,” your friend who was inside came out and dragged you back in. you gave your friend a pleading look to not say anything, and she understood right away. 

you felt two eyes stare behind you, and you looked back to ensure your friend was there, but instead those brown eyes that haunted you stared at you with a serious and tension gaze. your friend smiles and took your hand, as you quickly turned back and went to your group, this sense of uneasiness laying on you once again. why the hell was he here?

you downed the shot before they could cheer, not feeling the burn or bitterness from the lime and salt after. you tucked yourself away from his view, dreading being here, and wishing this instant you were cuddled up and watching a k-drama. “oh my god, new plan! let’s go to the jazz bar a few restaurants down from here! live music and drinks!” amy spoke, the group immediately agreeing, the wash of relief spreading through you. 

as soon as the tab was paid, you grabbed each other’s hand and walked out to the exit. luck was on your side as you made out with any complications or slurred walks. “y/n? where’d ya headed?” matt tugged you to the side, his breath reeking from alcohol. “we’re leaving!” you lied quickly and pulled away from him. it was enough seeing jude but matt as well? had you been cursed?

“hold on, hold on, why you leaving so fast? the night is just beginning, join me and my friends!” matt slurred, tucking your hair behind your ear. you pulled away, “no thank you, we’re leaving. have a good night,” you tried to seem nice as possible so you could avoid an altercation but he wasn’t taking no for an answer. “c’mon i want to get to know you!”

jude who was back inside had been watching you the minute you locked eyes. was it really possible you were in the same place he was? or was it just a vivid image of you? it was you, dressed so elegantly yet seductive. he had replayed the scene in his office before break over and over. hating how the empty void in his heart wouldn’t dissapear especialy at the thought of you. 

the once loud music was no longer there in his ears, he was just enamoured by you. your hair, your smile, the way you laughed, yet you were being the same naive and stubborn y/n he knew. the same one from italy, from work, and the one now. he just wanted one more look of you. but you were no longer there. jude panicked, ditching the vip booth in a second and waving though the bodies on the dance floor to look for you outside. 

“like i said, we were leaving-”

when the fuck was this man ever going to take a hint? matt pissed him off more and more as days passed. and jude was livid as he couldn’t take a hint and continued bothering you. he knew you were smart but a man like matt was a attachment not even he could get rid of. with his stupid blue eyes and blonde hair, jeans so tight he cringed at the sight. 

“is there a problem here?” jude said angrily, you got a whiff of his cologne, standing still as he approached you closer and closer. “seems like you’re bothering her when she wants to leave… not very gentlemanly like from you, hmm?” jude got between you, bringing you behind him and acted as a shield. 

“jude it’s okay, just drop it, he’s drunk-”

“jude? what the fuck is this? why did you call him jude, when he’s mr. bellingham,” matt chuckled angrily, a hand waving in the air trying to get sense of what was going on. “oh i see, i know what is going on here! you're the bitch who was caught kissing him in his office! makes total sense now,” matt mocked, your blood running cold at the reveal. 

“watch your fucking mouth. you may not be sober but you need to control yourself,” jude spat angrily coming closer to him. “you can pull all the stunts you want in my building but not here where you’re gonna make a fool out yourself, remember it’s easy for me to call off this stupid contract,” jude sneered. “i should’ve known the second you two were alone, the boss and his employee, what a coincidence! no wonder you got the job, you slept with him and now you’re here!” 

you don't see jude’s next move, all you see is matts face twisting with pain as jude punched him straight and square on his jaw, immediately towering over him when matt gained consciousness and threw a punch back. your body froze, watching the scene play out as they man handled each other, before feeling your friends drag you away and ask if you were okay. “who the fuck was that?” your friend asked, looking back as a chill ran down your spine. 

“my boss.” 

it was the afternoon, having slept in till late from the vents that took place, thankful you were alone after having complained. you weren’t in the mood to speak to anyone or yet be interrogated by your friends. all you said that it was your boss and a random guy who was trying to bother you. despite it all, you still wanted to protect and cherish the tiny bits of jude you had. 

you couldn’t contact him, not through email either, left wondering how he was and if the cops got involved. you felt guilty, guilty because of the mess that was created, guilty for leaving him when you most wanted him, and guilty for making yourself suffer like you had. if things had gone differently maybe this would’ve never happened. maybe you should've just walked away and let fate take control. 

this wasn’t a good image for either of you, and despite it hurting, the truth was bound to come out, whether you liked it or not. 

you looked at the clock, a brow raising in confusion when two simple knocks were heard at your door, followed by shuffling. you removed yourself from your blanket and took careful steps to the door, looking through the peephole and seeing a familiar set of curls facing you. 

you panic, running a hand through your hair, and mouth, adjusting your top and batman pj shorts. you silently yelp and get the urge to jump from either excitement or nerves. 

after a quick breather, you unlock the door and open to reveal jude, who stood in a black hoodie and pants, the soft boyfriend look reminding you of his normal side. not the harsh ceo, or business look, just your jude. 

“hi,” you smile, jude walking in when you open the door further. “i-i- was in the area, and i wanted to check in on you to see how you were from last night,” he said simply, as if those words didn’t make your heart jump. “in the area or did you see my file?” you taunt, jude scratching his head knowing he was caught. “both?” he smiled. 

“i’m doing okay, thankfully we got out of there, but i’ve been worried about you. i wasn’t sure if i could communicate with you, but i’ve been worried sick,” you admit, your heart slowly piecing its way together at the sight of him. “i’m fine, believe me i am, just a couple of scratches but i’m okay now that i’m here with you…”

you sigh deeply, jude pursed his lips, “i hate how we said goodbye. i felt like an asshole just pushing you away when all you wanted was reassurance. i hated seeing your smile drop and leaving you taken at back, i’m not proud of that,” jude confessed, stepping closer. “i’m attached to you, yet all we have is this painful distance. i just wanted to simply try y/n, i am not a man full of words but i almost begged, begged for you to stay. after you left me that letter i looked for you for weeks, imagine how i felt when i saw you in my own office?”

you stay silent, letting him know you were listening him pour his heart out. you weren’t going to push him away, you were tired of this miscommunication and back and forth. “you know what the hardest part was, watching you live your life knowing i’m not apart of it. having this idea that we could’ve been something instead were just known strangers who cross each other like nothing. i hate that you can’t be mine, i hate the fact you can’t even look at me in the eyes because you’re scared,” his voice broke. 

“what is it going to take? why can’t we just try?” jude pleaded. “because it wouldn’t be easy! i would hate the idea of seeing each other behind closed doors when all i want is to spend it next to you and not hide it. it isn’t easy when i have everything ahead of myself, everything i’ve worked hard for and you have it all already! I can’t easily say ‘fuck what they have to say’ because it does matter.”

“jude its been equally as hard for me as for you as well. you think i don’t want to try? that i don’t wish and dream were together in the almafi coast even if its for a day? i want to more than everything, i want to try but there’s so much on the line. people know about us already, and matt was just a taste of what would be headed our way if we did…” you cried, hating the feeling of your stomach turning. the idea of jude no longer with you. 

“i want you more than anything y/n, i’ve never wanted something so bad like this in my entire life. i have enough, i want to be enough for you. i want to show you the positive rather the negative that you envison, please just let me. i promise you there’s more than just the bad with me…” 

“jude…” you whine.

“we can work our way through this, i’m giving you my word. my all to you. please just let us try and we can be jude and y/n from that summer together… please baby, just let us try,” his hands reached for your, his thumb running delicatly over your knuckles. you caved in, you knew and felt like the whole world was at risk but you couldn’t care less. you also deserved to be loved, and being loved by jude was special in so many ways. not because of the status or money, but because of the tenderness and cherishment he laid. 

“promise me that no matter what, you won’t leave. i can’t lose it all and you as well jude…” you plead, and a smile of relief spreading across jude’s lips. i give you my word, i’ll even sign a contract for it, whatever it takes as long as i have you…” jude whispered along your lips, “no more contracts, just us,” you say softly.

“do you know how long i’ve wanted this? how much i missed this? how much i missed you?” jude said with a rough and raspy voice. your lips trembled, focusing on his lips kissing down your jaw, his hands running down to your hips to your ass where he gripped it firmly. “you denied me, rejected me, and wanted to pretend like nothing happened, what happened y/n?” he continued. 

“maybe i just finally caved in to what i truly wanted, and what i want is you,” you say breathlessly, his fingers burning your skin as he trailed them against your skin. “you bluffin or are you being serious?” he quoted making you giggle and press your lips against his, feeling as he smiled. “i’m being serious jude.”

he carried you to your bedroom, removing the tanktop you had on, “tell me what you want from me,” his voice low and groggy. you clenched your thighs, a hand running up his chest to pull him into a messy kiss, hearing a slight groan escape from his already plump lips. “i want you, all of you, all of you always and forever,” you say between the kiss, your one hand on his chest now palming him through his black pants.

jude stepped back, admiring you before his fingertips grazed your shoulders as he slowly removed both of your bra straps down, your chest revealing himself, he sucked in a breath, his eyes drawn to you, just you. “so fucking perfect,” his pupils dilated, leaning down to press a wet kiss on your collarbone all the way up to your jaw, a small suckle before catching your lips once again. 

every single nerve in your body is alive and active, awaiting jude’s next move as you helped him remove his hoodie and shirt. his tone and tanned body shinning against the warm light from your night lamp. there’s no space left when he crashes his body with your, lips tangled as he slowly places you onto your sheets. “i want to hear you, can you do that for me?” jude said, his eyes dark and full of lust. 

“anything you ask me,” you nodded, he smirked, jude placed faint and subtle kisses down the valley of your breasts. you shifted around uncontrollably, letting out small pants as he traced his tongue down your naval. he looked up ensuring you wanted this much as him, and when he got that confirmation, he slowly removed your shorts. “cute, took you more for a marvel gal though,” he snicked. “quit it! i didn’t expect you.”

your eyes fluttered closed as he blew cold air against your core, “so wet, just for me,” he kissed your clit softly, a small kiss that drove you to your breaking point and you were just getting started. jude’s tongue separated your folds immediately, drawing out a loud moan, your hand clenching your sheets as he continued his movements down and up. 

you almost lose it when he places the tip of his tongue right on your entrance, bitting your lip as you cry out in pleasure. you forgot how good he was at this. how he knew all your weak points and could drag you to there in just seconds. his heavy breathing and knowing he was enjoying this as much as you were made the thrill even bigger. 

the intrusion of his two fingers and licks against your core are enough to make your hips lift from the bed, “please jude, please,” you moan, your hand resting on the back of his head, so he doesn’t pull back. “can feel you, almost there for me, holy fuck y/n…” jude grunted. he dove back, wanting to feel you cum against his tongue, not getting enough of how sweet you were. 

you sobbed as your orgasm ripped through you, slightly embarrassed at how quick you came but it had been a while since you were with anyone. that last person being jude. he rode you out to the last drip, cleaning you up effortlessly, coming back up to press a small kiss on your neck before slowly undoing his pants and removing his boxers. 

his cock sprang out, hitting his abdomen as pre-cum leaked, you swallowed harshly, jude gently getting between your thighs and holding you by your waist, “you sure you want this?” jude asked, wanting to be a hundred percent sure, “fuck me, jude,” you said with confidence. he slowly entered you, your back arching and pressing against his chest, jude kissed your chin softly, watching your body unravel with his. 

“holy fuck, forgot how tight you were, how tight you are just for me,” he said lowly, pushing back his hips and thrusting into you. “it’s okay baby, just breathe for me,” he ushered, as you squeezed his girth. “doing so well for, always such a good fucking girl for me,” he moved his hips thrusting deeper as you moaned his name. 

jude's eyes squint close, his lips shaking a smile as you rub his cheek in full appreciation. he’s taking this slow, wanting it to special, he kisses you deeply as he began to move and thrust into you, your bed squeaking as you both stiffle out a tiny laugh. “go faster jude,” you whisper in his ear. jude lets out a tiny ‘fuck’ before slamming into you harsher and deeper. 

your moans mix together, eyes shut as you felt your pleasure become closer and closer. his thrusts move in a pace that has you wanting to see stars quickly, his skin burning yours with his touch and slips. “oh my god, shit, shit, shit,” you let out, jude smirking as he moved faster, his cock hitting that spot inside you that makes you melt into your bed. 

“you have no idea how fucking amazing you feel,” jude says, pinning you down, his forehead touching yours as you share a feverly kiss. his tongue entering your mouth and tracing yours, pulling back and fully blurred on making you cum. the closeness and messiness of your bodies had you overwhelmed with pleasure, looking away from him as it became to much. “eyes on me, i want to see you, see you when i cum inside you,” jude stated, and you obliged. 

“so fucking close, can feel you squeezing me, i know it baby, just cum for me,” jude praised you, and thrusted faster, making you squeal and clench your legs around him, pinning him down. jude was on the bridge of bursting, the intensity becoming unbearable. “there we go baby, cum, cum for me,” jude said as he felt you reach your climax, your body slightly trembling in shivers of bliss. 

you felt your walls coat with his warm release, his cock twitching as he let out pants of air. He kisses you one last time, enjoying the moment as you let the afterwaves pass. jude pulls out slowly, laying next to you as he brought you to his chest, his hands running down your back and soothing your slick and warm skin. 

“you okay? still here with me?” he spoke still out of breath. “i am? are you?” you draw small shapes on his chest. he grabs your face getnly and makes you face him. his thumb runs down your brows and cheek, “as long as i am with you, i will forever be okay….”

“be mine y/n…”

[windupnamazu]

ufo catcher my heart!

ffxivwrite2021 #16: crane

⮞ lunya, whitherliliesbloom's illya and mintdrop's mint. 744 words. ⮞ non-specific modern au. ⮞ three white-haired lalafells walk into an arcade. only two walk out because one of them got stuck in a claw machine.

crane (game): a claw machine is a vending machine which operates like an arcade game, introducing a note of challenge into the endeavor.

It'd been a very successful day, Lunya decided, slamming the trunk of G'raha's car down over the fruits of their shopping spree and giving Mint a high five. Her boyfriend was still trapped by the thrall of the book store, but she'd snagged the keys from him so they could drop off their bags. Illya still looked like she might faint over all the clothes they insisted on piling on the poor girl, but she would get over it with a well-timed double team pout-puppy eyes combo.

And now it was time for the best part of their monthly shopping trip. The arcade.

For half an hour, Lunya churned out prize tickets from her favourite games—she had beef with a giant Pikachu plushie they had in the prize exchange and this would finally be the month she got it, damn it. She was taking a break with a not-very-relaxing game of DDR when a small, familiar ummm sounded behind her.

"Need something, Liya?" Lunya asked Illya as she danced, eyes trained on the flashing arrows on the screen.

Illya pointed at the long line of crane machines behind them. "W-we might have a problem, Lunya…"

Lunya turned around.

"Totomi Tomi," she gasped, absolutely apoplectic. In the background, her game went forgotten, the DDR machine jeering miss! Miss! Miss! "Only toddlers get stuck in claw machines."

Amid her sea of Vocaloid plushies that probably weren't officially licensed, Mint's gasp was muffled by the wall of glass between them. She raised an offended hand to her heart. "I'm not stuck. I can get out of here whenever I want!"

Lunya scoffed, whipping out her phone as she and Illya walked over. "Yeah?" she demanded over the snap of her camera. "Then prove it."

The older girl turned away, tapping her pointer fingers together with a pout.

"Well, It's not my fault they designed the prize door to only open one way," she whined, wiggling helplessly in the plushie ocean. "It's such a safety hazard. What if a kid got stuck, or, like, a full grown woman with an idol career wanted to go inside for a funny pic to get clout on social media and didn't think the whole thing throooough?"

"Wow, that's oddly specific," Lunya said intensely. "So, how's the clout farm going, Peppermint?"

Mint giggled, holding her phone to the glass of the crane machine. Her last tweet boldly read I ACTUALLYGOT STUCK SOMEOBWNE ELLHPE??? and had already amassed a couple hundred likes and some replies varying between "mint what's wrong with you" and "omg get well soon queen" and "NEW TIKTOK CHALLENGE JUST DROPPED BABES #PEPPERMINTISSTUCKPARTY".

"I'll… I'll, um, call 911..." Illya said, looking at her own phone which certainly wasn't open to her friend group's Linkcord server. "And maybe find an employee, just in case they have a key." She paced over to the next row of crane games, phone to her ear as she went.

With a roll of her eyes, Lunya tapped on the glass of the machine Mint was in. "This is the second time I've had to do this this year, but at least my cousin had the excuse of being two. How're you gonna tell the firefighters you're twenty-eight?"

"Hey, hey, don't tap on the glass, you'll scare the fish. Me. You'll scare me AAAAAAAA—" Mint recoiled into the plushies with an overdramatic wail as Lunya slammed her palm on the glass. "Wait, you don't think it's actually illegal to get trapped in a claw machine, right?"

Huh. Good question. In the very likely event that whoever was working the prize counter didn't have the key for the machine, would having to get third party dismantlement for someone who wasn't a toddler be considered property damage?

"I'll pay your bail," Lunya promised, because she did love Mint and wasn't sure she could rock an orange jumpsuit.

"Oh, thank you! Anyway, while I'm here," Mint mused, holding a Hatsune Miku plushie over the drop chute contemplatively. Lunya hummed with a nod of approval. If they were going to get in trouble anyway they might as well tell capitalism to shove it.

Coming back around the corner with a very confused G'raha who'd finally come looking for them and some poor employee who probably didn't have any protocol for dealing with grown women trapped in a UFO catcher, Illya sighed. "Stealing is wrong, you two."

"Awwww," Lunya and Mint chimed in unison, and Mint put the plushie back down.

[seiin-translations]

2.43 S1 Chapter 4.4 - Drifting Yunichika

4. APPROACH

None of these boys have brain cells

None of them

Previous || Index || Next

Until the fourth day of the camp, Kuroba was not incorporated into the combo plays Haijima was trying to perfect. Kuroba spent most of the time only practicing receives with Uchimura and Hokao, which only increased his frustration. His feelings of doubt and distrust were swelling now as he wondered if Haijima was seriously going to strip him of his role.

“I’ll be back on the night of the first. You free?”

At night, he noticed that he got a text message from Yorimichi. He was about to do his laundry at Tora no Yu’s coin laundry after taking a bath. He typed his reply with one hand while tossing his underwear, T-shirts, and towels into the washing machine with the other.

“Can’t do the first, but maybe after the night of the third.”

“I’ll come pick you up on the third if you want. Got my license.”

“You got a car? That’s amazing!”

“Still don’t have a car yet. Well I’m just riding around town. So, on the third.”

After he sent a single “OK” emoji, the conversation ended for now.

He did it. He made a promise. The Fall Tournament was from the first to third, so he made sure to leave them out, and the fourth was his day off, so he could sleep all day even if he stayed up late the night before…he made excuses for himself in his head, but he couldn’t shake the guilt.

“Oh crap, I forgot the detergent…”

Even though there was no one else there, he lifted his head and looked around restlessly as though to ask someone. Right then, Haijima passed the aluminum doors that were open wide.

“Ah…”

Without thinking, he immediately thrust his phone into the pocket of his shorts.

Haijima also noticed him right away. “It’s just you?” he said and briefly looked around. There were old washing machines and dryers lined up against the wall on both sides, and the aisle was barely wide enough for two people to squeeze past each other. The drum dryer, rumbling away, was making a lot of noise and leaking out stiflingly hot air. The fan with the swiveling head was working at high speed and trying to release the heat to the outdoors, but it couldn’t keep up at all, and the temperature inside the prefab was reaching quite an unbearable level. He had just been thinking of taking refuge in a chair outside until the laundry was done. 

Don’t talk to me. ‘Cause you’re pissing me off. He tried to turn away and ignore him, but…he still didn’t have detergent.

“…Let me borrow some detergent. While we’re at it, give me all of it. We’ll do ours together.”

He thrust out his hand while glaring down at the washing machine tub, and a bag filled with laundry was hung from his hand without hesitation. A box of powder detergent was on top. Even though he was the one who suggested it, why did he end up doing Haijima’s laundry as well? He was extremely reluctant to do this, but he turned the bag upside down and dumped Haijima’s laundry on top of his own.

“It’s hot here.”

Haijima muttered, and quickly escaped outside while Kuroba was working. You really do take the service of others for granted, don’t you?

He inserted coins and started the washing machine, then pulled out a manga magazine off the magazine shelf and finally escaped outside. Even though he just came out of the bath, his back was already sweaty. Haijima bent down in front of the vending machine at the front of the laundromat and took out a bottle of water.

“I’ll treat you for the laundry money.”

He asked as he put in another hundred-yen coin into the machine.

“Ah, um, a Coke.”

He answered without thinking. “Don’t drink Coke…” Haijima complained and pushed the button. Don’t ask then. A diet Coke was carelessly thrown to him. “Don’t throw it, it’s carbonated.”

They each sat down on the stool placed on both sides of the aluminum door and twisted the caps of their bottles open. The chairs were on the small size, so they were low enough that the two’s legs were too long for it. Haijima had also just come out of the bath, and his hair was still wet. He was dressed lightly in a T-shirt and shorts, which doubled as his sleepwear, and his bare feet was in sneakers. But Kuroba, who was wearing sandals, was dressed a bit lighter than him. Not that he was competing with him.

Tora no Yu was an old public bathhouse located in the shopping district at the foot of the mountain where the school was, and the coin laundry was a prefab attached to it. The front street was the shopping street that led to Nanafu Station, but after nine p.m., the shutters of all the stores were already down and garbage bags and flattened cardboard boxes were piled in front of the stores.

He could hear the sound of the bugs bumping into the bare bulbs that lit the sidewalk. The sounds of the washing machines and dryers echoing off the walls of the prefab. The low sound of the vending machine’s motor. A sultry midsummer night without a breeze. Although it was somewhat more comfortable than being in the prefab where the heat accumulated, sweat frequently slid down the inside of his T-shirt.

“Our senpais started doing their laundry before they took their baths, so they collected it and went back first.”

“Oh, you can do that?”

“They could have just taught us that.”

He never did laundry at home, so such an efficient procedure never occurred to him. Thanks to that, he ended up being alone together with Haijima. Kuroba thought that the atmosphere was getting very tense, but it was unlikely that Haijima would be reading the room, so he wasn’t sure what sort of attitude he should take.

His eyes went to the right arm of Haijima, who was toying with his light blue cap. There four small crescent-shaped internal bleeding marks on his forearm. Ah…those are my fingernail marks from day before.

“…Your arm.”

When he said that sullenly with a side glance, Haijima’s eyes dropped to his arm and gave a weak reaction. “Oh.”

He was actually a guy who constantly had fresh wounds or bruises since middle school. It was odd how often he got into trouble at games. He dislocated his finger at prefecturals, and apparently Okuma almost injured him at a ballgame tournament practice. He wondered if his personality invited some sort of trouble.

Due to his wet hair, he noticed a long scar on his right temple, just behind the earpiece of his glasses. That scar…the one Yorimichi gave him…? It was from the winter of their second year of middle school. It still hadn’t disappeared…? That scar was faint, but it strangely stood out on his smooth and pale face. His eyes went to his arm scars again.

“Oh, I’m not apologizing. I’m not in the wrong…”

“You don’t have to apologize. Just practice hard.”

“I am practicing hard!”

He unintentionally raised his voice, then got sulky and plopped down his butt that had been half-rising from his chair.

“Y-You’re not going to use me at all, are you.”

Once he said it himself, he realized, Yeah, that’s right. He didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of it before. He wondered if he was the only one who still wanted to play volleyball with Haijima. He wondered if it was just a one-sided feeling that he had for a year.

In the first place, he still hadn’t apologized to Haijima about what happened at the prefecturals. He thought they had buried the hatchet after Haijima joined the Seiin volleyball team, but he turned a blind eye to the fact that they hadn’t really resolved anything. Haijima doesn’t really seem like he cares—but it’s not like he wasn’t hurt by my betrayal back then.

——“I know what your judgement of me is. It’s enough.”

When he turned his back on Haijima, Haijima’s evaluation of Kuroba must have dropped by several levels. Maybe even to the bottom. He thought of him as the kind of guy who would run away from the next day’s game because he was embarrassed at the previous day’s game. He was still wary that he would cause trouble for the team by hanging out with Yorimichi. He didn’t even know how much of it was there to begin with, but his credibility in Haijima’s mind had sunken. He didn’t trust him, on or off the court.

Haijima turned his face towards him and was about to open his mouth. He was suddenly afraid of what he was going to say, so he interrupted him with a shrill-sounding “I-I…” before the bottle slipped out of his hands. The black carbonic acid spilled out, covering his sandal-clad bare feet.

“What are you doing?”

Haijima was amazed. “S-Sorry,” he said, lowering his head and reaching his hand to his feet. Once he submerged his face between his legs, he somehow couldn’t raise it anymore.

“…I…”

The words were stuck in his throat. With his head down so far between his legs that his bangs soaked in the puddle of carbonic acid spreading on the asphalt, he squeezed out a hoarse voice.

“…I’ll, make it up…so, don’t make up your mind about me just yet…’cause, I wanna be your ace…”

With a bubbling sound, the black carbonic acid continued to spill out of the bottle opening. He waited a long time, but didn’t hear Haijima’s response.

When he timidly sent a sideways glance at him, he was astonished to see Haijima turning his back towards him and fiddling with his phone. I really am going to punch you once…I knew you were a guy who wouldn’t understand my feelings unless I said it in words so easy to understand that there’s no way to misinterpret them, but still, this denseness…

“Whatever… Shit.”

Feeling stupid, he got up and conversely slumped down on his chair. He didn’t know where to put his feelings that were going nowhere, and he felt extremely embarrassed.

Haijima wordlessly lifted his phone a little. He was gesturing for him to look at his phone. He hated himself for being able to decipher what Haijima wanted to say, even though he made no effort to convey it clearly.

He looked at his phone that he had thrust into the pocket of his shorts and saw that he had a new message. It seemed to have come after he responded to Yorimichi’s message. It was from Okuma.

Right on time, his ringtone began ringing in his hand. This time it was a call from Okuma. He wasn’t in the mood to chat with him, but he had no choice but to answer his phone.

“Did you see my message? I didn’t get a response, so I sent one to Haijima too just now.”

Their quiet surroundings made Okuma’s boorish voice sound even more annoying and loud, so he moved the phone a little further from his ear and spoke.

“I was just about to look. Anyways, you could have taught us about the laundry thing.”

“The two of you are still at Tora no Yu? Can you guys go to the gym before you come back to camp? I think I forgot something there.”

“Huh…what did you forget? Isn’t the school locked?”

“Don’t worry about that. It’s open.”

“How?”

“Look at the dryer on the far left. You’ll get an item. I’ll need the both of you to bring it back, so make sure you go with Haijima.”

“But what did you forget…”

“You’ll know when you get there.”

He hung up on him without answering his questions properly.

When he stuck his head into the prefab, he saw a convenience store plastic bag hanging from the door of the dryer closest to the entrance. He inspected it and found a small flashlight within. Wow, he really thpught of everything. I wish he had left detergent instead, though.

The phone that was still in his hand rang again. It was from Okuma again, and this time it was a message. “If you want us to do an errand, just say it in one go…He’s so annoying…” He checked the message while grumbling.

“I forgot to say this, but our gym is haunted.”

***

I wonder if he heard what I said earlier…I hope not. He was beginning to think that as time passed by.

“I wanna be your ace.” That line was so embarrassing that it makes my stomach turn. I feel like I’m gonna die in agony when I recall it. It’s Haijima, so he probably didn’t listen to what I said. Yeah, it’s definitely like that. May it be like that.

Even when he glanced to his side, he could barely make out the outline of Haijima’s profile and couldn’t gauge his expression at all.

There were no lights in the school at night. Both of them walked in silence on the narrow path illuminated by the flashlight in Haijima’s hand. The silence seemed even more awkward because there was no place for their eyes to escape to. The rustling sounds of the laundry bags they both were holding was deafening to his ears. The weight of the wet laundry hanging from his arm was also somewhat uncomfortable.

Every time the light brushed against their surroundings, the sight that emerged looked completely different from how it was in the daytime. Although he had memorized the school’s layout, he was losing confidence in whether or not the mapping in his head matched up with the place they were actually walking in. There was no doubt that the area that lay before ahead of them like a calm jet-black sea was the first sports ground. The shadow of the club room row house looked like some sort of crouching giant creature that was slumbering.

The school building was at the end of the path between the first sports ground and the row house. As they advanced forward, unable to grasp the distance to the school building, an ochre-colored wall suddenly appeared in the round light. When they moved along the wall, he saw that the doors to the passage that they usually used to go in and out of the gym from the club room was open on one side, just as Okuma said.

He stretched his neck and peered into the door. It wasn’t perfectly dark because there was a faint blue in the sky, but it was completely dark indoors. It was dominated by only black. The corridor in front of the gym was an open space with a few exercise machines and training mats, but he couldn’t catch their shadows at all now.

Haijima took off his sneakers and stepped inside, leaving the laundry bag there on the spot. Kuroba wondered how he could move so confidently with this visibility, but he hurriedly took of his sandals and followed him.

“Haijima, wait…Shine it better, I can’t see my feet.”

“I am shining it. And don’t cling to me, your hand’s hot.”

“I-I’m not clinging to you…”

When he suddenly let go of the hand that he had unconsciously put on Haijima’s shoulder, he heard footsteps coming from behind him. Sounds like the wet slapping of webbed feet—like a kappa’s footsteps!

He was about to scream and run away when he pushed Haijima down and he fell forward with a “Wah!” The light from the flashlight jumped in the wrong direction, there was the sound of metal hitting the wall, and the light went out.

His vision was blocked by a curtain of complete darkness that made even his sense of up and down uncertain.

“You…”

“T-There was just someone behind me!”

“Laundry.”

“Ah.”

On all fours, he looked behind him. There were no suspicious shadows, just a dim blue cut-out in the shape of the door. There was no sign of a yokai with a shell on its back. Was that the sound of the laundry bag falling?

“What are you so scared of? Don’t tell me you really thought something was gonna come out?”

“I-I-I-I wasn’t scared! I-Is the flashlight broken?”

He raised his voice deliberately and crawled on all fours, fearfully running his hands in the direction the light had jumped to. He was pretty sure the exercise machine was around here, so he might crash into it if he moved carelessly.

“You’re a hundred years too early to be my ace like that.”

Haijima’s voice came from somewhere in the darkness.

…It seems like he did hear me. All of it.

“Uh, um, that’s, you know…”

“It seems like you got the wrong idea about something.”

He couldn’t help but stumble over his words as he tried to excuse himself. “No need for that, I already understand,” Haijima interrupted him, and Kuroba crouched down with his head in his hands. Stop, stop, don’t kick me when I’m down any more than that. I already know that I had the wrong idea.

“You’re the team’s ace, at least.”

He covered his ears and stiffened his body to withstand the damage from the merciless Haijima’s dagger-like wor——.

…Huh?

“Ummm…can you say that one more time…?”

He asked back blankly. He stealthily looked up from the gap in his arms and craned his neck around, but Haijima’s figure was hidden by the curtain of darkness that had fallen on all sides. The only thing he could hear was a voice that had a clear quality even though it was muttering, permeating the darkness like ripples spreading in water.

“You’re the one who hits the fastest, highest, and strongest on this team, Kuroba. That’s what they call an ace, right? That’s why you’re the only ace, not anyone else. Oda-san and the others know that.”

“Oda-senpai…? Really? Our senpais really said that?”

“You think I’d lie?”

After shaking his head with vigor, he realized they couldn’t see each other and said it aloud. “I don’t think that, but then why do you keep leaving me out…?” Haijima didn’t follow up on people to the point of flattering them. He always said what he thought, so that notice of dismissal from the day before should have also been what he really thought…

“…At the prefecturals…”

There was suddenly interference in his voice, like he was hesitating to say something. The ripples, which were once undistorted perfect circles, arrived a little warped. The word “prefecturals” seemed to have been used for the first time between the two of them since that day a year ago. That word he heard in Haijima’s voice weighed heavily on his heart.

“At that time, I only had you. That’s why I had no choice but to act recklessly… But now there’s people like Oda-san and Aoki-san and Kanno-san, who are all better than you, so I can do things differently this time. I won’t let something like that happen again. I’m doing that different way now.”

“…? Sorry, I don’t really get it.”

Since the information was conveyed in chunks and not clear at all, Kuroba, who had been listening with a tense and meek expression, gradually began to tilt his head in confusion. Just when I thought I’ve been acknowledged, it sounded like I was being called shitty after all…

His fingers touched something hard. “Ah,” he muttered, and fumbled for the flashlight that had fallen into his hands. When he ran his hand along the cylindrical body and found the switch, he heard the rest of Haijima’s speech.

“I’ll prove it. At the Fall Tournament. I’ll make every ball I set to you the best one. …Because, I’m the one who wanted to make up for it…”

A white light lit up in his hand. He held up the light in the direction of the voice, but Haijima wasn’t there. Didn’t I hear his voice just now—? It seemed to have just disappeared, and he was suddenly assailed by uneasiness. It was impossible, but for some reason, he thought that he had suddenly gone back to Tokyo——

“Hai…”

The moment he got up and prepared to run,

“…Ow, what the hell is this…?”

He heard a grumble. When his shin hit something and he pitched forward, he narrowly managed to keep his footing and pointed the light at his feet. The light illuminated the seam of a worn-out undyed exercise mat. Now that he thought about it, there were always mats piled up at a height where it was easy to stumble over them around here.

Haijima had fallen down on that mat.

“Lame…you tripped.”

While feeling so relieved that the energy drained out of him, he put on a look of amazement and extended his hand with a “Here.” For a moment, he seriously thought he was gone, and he panicked.

He wanted to properly hear what he said earlier one more time. Can you say that for me one more time…he wanted to ask, but he didn’t want him to take it back, so he didn’t.

Those best sets our best setter talked about. They must be amazing sets that would astonish not only the opposing team, but also the entire venue. How nice it must feel to be the attacker who hit them. He said he would give them to me, didn’t he? All of his best sets, to me…

His body was starting to itch. He couldn’t wait to play a game. Hurry up and come, Fall Tournament.

“You…aren’t going back to Tokyo anymore, are you. You’re gonna play volleyball with us, right? We’ll play in the Fall Tournament together.”

He couldn’t help but confirm that no matter what. He didn’t know why he still felt anxious about the possibility that Haijima would one day leave this area where their spoken language was understood, but it sometimes crossed his mind.

The rim of Haijima’s glasses glinted faintly as he sat on the edge of the mat, and Kuroba knew that he was looking up at him. It was irritating that he couldn’t see his expression even though he wanted to. He still had the feeling that if he turned the light there, he would disappear again, and his anxiety wouldn’t go away.

“I said I ain’t going back.”

It was just a few words, but it had the local intonation—in a voice that contained a bit of laughter, Haijima said that and took Kuroba’s hand. When he felt the force of the two of them pulling each other in his arm, he felt like he had finally grasped something solid.

***

When they pushed open the metal doors of the gym, an unpleasant sound shook the air, as though their nerves were being filed off. It was of course pitch dark in the gym. Because it was closed off since evening practice, heat and humidity accumulated. As soon as they stepped in, it felt like a damp cloth hanging from the ceiling was sticking to his face…the lack of visibility was allowing him to imagine all sorts of things. Despite himself, he put his hand on Haijima’s shoulder again, hiding half of his body behind him.

He put the flashlight on Haijima’s shoulder like it was a bipod (the thing a sniper put a rifle on) and shined it forward, illuminating a very small area of the floor. Overlapping colored tapes were laid on the floor to indicate lines for volleyball and other sports. “Don’t put your hand on me,” Haijima growled, but he didn’t attempt to shake him off.

“What did he forget? He said we’ll know when we get there…Hmm?”

When he moved the light, something metallic glinted. It was a rusted pole…with a net attached to it…?

“Oh, by something forgotten, did he mean that we forgot to put away the net?”

“We did put it away.”

“Yeah we did,” He remembered untying the strings by himself and carrying the poles after they finished evening practice.

“Why did they go out of their way to put it back up…?”

Plop…

Something white cross the light in a parabola. After a big bounce, it rolled into a corner of the gym—it was a volleyball. “…?” After he turned the light around and followed its whereabouts, he thought it was strange and turned the light back to the net——.

A hand was caught on the net. Two hands, actually, and covered in blood. The five fingers hooked onto the net and began climbing upwards at a great speed. When the hands reached the white band at the top, a human face poked out from above the band.

“…It’s your fault…”

A gloomy whisper descended from the ceiling. A trail of blood trickled down the edge of the face’s half-open lips. The eyeballs that had stagnated at the back of the sunken eye sockets took on a dim and resentful glow.

“——It’s your fault!!”

The whisper suddenly turned into a cursed scream that reverberated throughout the gym.

The head began to quickly move sideways with the chin hooked on the white band. There was no way that a two-meter-looking person would be able to stand like that and poke their face over a 2.43 meter net like that, so it was an impossible movement.

“It’s your fault——!”

Amidst the echo of running footsteps, the head went from one end of the white band to the other and back again with the thudding sounds. It was starting to look more and more like…it was at a loss because it couldn’t get a reaction.

Kuroba stared in amazement, standing at the doorway.

“…What are you doing, Kanno-senpai?”

When he quipped that with his eyes half-closed, the head clearly looked relieved.

Kanno, who played the role of the head, called out downwards and stopped moving sideways. One part of the ceiling lights was turned on to illuminate the gym. Kanno turned over the black curtain he was coiled in from the neck down and jumped down to the floor. Another person came out from the curtain. “Oi oi oi, that was so boring, we were covered in sweat over here,” Okuma said, his face flushed.

“Are we done here?”

Hokao, who was in front of the lighting control panel at the side of the stage, said. Even Uchimura came out of the broadcasting room. All four of the second-years on the boys’ volleyball team were here.

“What, I was gonna scare you so hard you’ll piss yourselves, but you got more guts than I thought.”

Okuma complained, wiping his face that was drenched in sweat.

“Isn’t it because it’s so obvious?”

“What, it took a lot of work to do his makeup.”

“They forced me to play the ghost…”

“No, it really suits you!” He gently quipped at Kanno, who seemed to be unhappy with his casting and was pouting. The circles under his eyes and the blood were makeup, but he was a pale person who looked like a ghost in the first place, so he didn’t look that different from his regular self. “What is this anyways? Are you second-years bored?”

“It’s the annual test of courage for our boys’ volleyball training camp. It was done to us for the past two years too. Aoki-senpai’s production when he went all out wasn’t at this level, you know? You should be thankful that Okuma wanted to direct it this year.”

Hokao said, and Okuma stuck out his chest. Even though he was casually dissed, he seemed to take it as a positive compliment. “It’s that suspension bridge effect thing, you know? They say that when two people experience fear together, they become closer.”

For a moment, Kuroba was speechless. Were their senpais also concerned about the fact that things were cold between him and Haijima…?

He was grateful for the sentiment, but a forced laugh slipped out, thinking that they were just a second too late. It’s probably resolved now…I think I said most of what I wanted to say, and I’ve heard Haijima’s response.

“There’s no way Haijima would be scared of such a cheap prank, let alone me. Right…”

When he turned around, his smile faded and he cut himself off.

“…Haijima?”

Haijima wasn’t looking at him at all. He was standing bolt upright, staring at some other point. The blood had drained from his face to the point where he looked even paler than Kanno’s makeup, and his expression was stiffening with his narrow eyes widened. When he followed where his gaze was fixed, it led to…Kanno’s hands?

Kanno, who was wiping the bloodstains smeared on his hands, noticed his gaze and said in puzzlement, “Yes?”

“Uhya-hya-hya, Haijima had a better reaction, didn’t he? Is he weak against blood…”

Okuma’s guffaws floated up from the atmosphere of the situation, and trailed off awkwardly. The second-years all had quizzical looks on their faces, because Haijima was acting abnormally by his standards.

Haijima’s gaze left Kanno’s hands and moved to a corner of the gym where the light didn’t reach, as though he was afraid of something. One ball was lying around in the stagnant darkness. His gaze moved again with an awkward movement, like he was tracing something while getting caught on the splintered surface, and turned to the net next. He looked up at the net that didn’t have a bloody hand stuck in it anymore—what was he doing?

“…What’s...wrong…?”

Kuroba was the one who was shocked at the color of Haijima’s face, which he had never seen before. His voice was scratchy as he asked that question.

It’s nothing, Haijima muttered as he removed his gaze from the net and didn’t look anywhere else. He rubbed the tip of his left middle finger in front of his abdomen. He was curious about what that gesture meant, but he couldn’t ask anymore questions because Haijima’s mind, which had been properly directed outwards until earlier, had abruptly turned inward.

Previous || Index || Next

[snowdog49]

One Channel Motel

I found a prompt somewhere... This is the result of it. 

By Snowdog49/Pokydog49 AO3

Teen rating

AL/MEI

Word Count: 2318 

It was darker than dark when they arrived. The office smelled musky, laced with cheap liquor. It was small, only room for maybe four people at a time. The countertop was old wood, and the young golden-eyed man had to consciously be careful of splinters while he rested his hand on it. It was dimly lit, still better than the thundering clouds that rumbled in the dark void outside. He looked out the dirty window as a flash illuminated the parking lot. There were a few other cars there and one light on in a motel room. However, the highway, the motel, and the fields around them were empty, a lifeless land. The linoleum tile under his feet hadn’t been washed in possibly a year and cracked by the entryway. The walls were a white color at one time, now a yellow wash over it from tobacco smoked inside. The air was thick and stuffy, lacking any air movement. He swallowed, hoping that someone would come out soon as he looked at his watch. His yellow eyes watched the second-hand tick slowly away. 

“Hello,” he asked again. 

“One moment,” a sharp reply echoed from the doorway. 

The young lady at his side squeezed his hand before turning to look at the maps on a rack. His eyes watched her as she stood over them, looking at them with little interest. Her black hair laid down her back, a long strand escaping and her finger tucking it behind her ear. She sighed, crookedly frowning at the display. There were local maps, county maps, and even maps of cities on the other side of the country. The vending machine was grimy with the glass covered in oily handprints. She was certain the items in the vending machine were all past their expiration date. There wasn’t anything around, no food nearby, but they did have a half bag of chips in the car and there was a bag of jerky in his bag. There was a serious curiosity to how a desert land like this one would have a single motel but no food or gas insight. Outside, next to the pool gate was a soda machine, flickering its last bit of life into the dark. The pool didn’t have any water in it, however, the gate was open, swaying in the wind. It could not have been any more ominous. 

“Do we really want to stay here,” she asked nervously. “Maybe it’s a sign with them not coming out.” 

He scratched his head. “There’s nowhere else to stay.” 

She leaned closer. “I think it’s safer to sleep in our car.” She looked back outside. “They are taking so long because they are cutting up the last guests’ bodies.” 

The golden-haired man snickered as he itched under his nose. It was a valid argument. It was completely reasonable to think that they were going to get murdered in their hotel room from the look of the area. It was a set from a horror movie, just lacking a monster with a chainsaw. They’d take the risk. They were both tired and a storm was looming near. 

“Do we even know where we are,” she asked quietly. It didn’t come out accusatory as much as it could have. She was innocently concerned they were lost. He’d take responsibility for the disaster. He knew, and admittedly, had taken a wrong turn. When the map showed that it still ended in their desired destination, and a sign along the highway reinforced the map’s details, he didn’t turn around. Apparently, they were way off track, driving the long way around. An innocent trip to see his brother and family had turned into an adventure in itself. They could have been arguing, Al knew Mei was upset, but they were not like his brother and Winry. There was no need to argue since no good would come of it. They instead practiced patience, trusting in each other. He looked over as she leaned against the counter with a heavy sigh. All he could do in return was smile gently towards her. “I’m sorry,” he apologized quietly. 

She nodded, biting the side of her bottom lip, not replying. He could tell she was anxious. 

Before he could turn away and push on for the next unknown miles to the next stop, an older lady emerged. She had on large rimmed glasses, stood hunched over, and walked slowly from the door. She didn’t look happy to be there, nor happy to have customers. She instead made her way to the desk, glowering at them. “You’re here awfully late,” she grumbled, sounding course, clicking on her computer. She coughed, covering her mouth, then clearing her throat. 

“We got lost,” he said sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you have any availability?” She obviously did. The parking lot was empty. Still, deep in his own heart, he hoped she’d say no. 

Mei did not smile at all while she stared coldly at the lady. 

“Just one room? Check out is at 9 am. It’s almost 1am now…” 

“That’s fine,” Al said quickly. 

“I have one with a double bed,” she coughed, squinting at the screen. “It’s 800 cenz.” 

Mei flinched. Most of these roadside inns were a quarter of the price. They were getting scammed, robbed, just because the old hag knew they were desperate. But Al instantly handed her the money. They didn’t even know if the room was going to be clean! Her hand reached out, grabbing his arm firmly. 

“Just for a couple hours,” he assured her quietly, feeling her anxiety. “It’s okay. We just need a few hours of sleep.” 

Mei frowned, sighing as she looked back at the darkness out the window. “This is how every horror movie starts,” she seriously joked. 

Al reached over, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into his tall body. His hand patted her far shoulder, giving her some reassurance that they were okay. The old lady, still glaring coldly at them, handed him a key. He nodded thankfully before pulling Mei with him as they left the small office. He was just as happy as she was to escape the leer of the witch. 

It smelled like rain, the sense of dampness and dirt that the wind picked up. The air chilled Mei as she held herself in the doorway of the room, watching as Al grabbed the bags. Thunder echoed through the night just as Al shut the door behind him. Quick to lock the door, he turned the switch on the door handle and looked to see if there was an additional lock. There sitting, half screwed in was a sliding bolt lock, one that could be found in a bathroom stall. He slid it over, even knowing it was going to be useless in case of a forced entry. It was the thought that mattered. He took off his long coat, laying it on the back of the flimsy chair that stood lopsided next to a table could have been as old as the lady who checked them in. He ran his hand through his short golden hair, letting it stick up in places afterward.  He unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt as he started to look around in the overpriced motel room. It was as expected. There was wood paneling, brown-beige color paint for the rest of the walls. The bathroom had a tub/shower combo, and he wondered instantly if there was going to be warm water or not. A tiny single wrapped bar of soap sat on the sink. 

The cricketing springs on the bed whined and Al poked his head out from the bathroom. Mei giggled as she bounced on the bed. “This is way too cliche,” she laughed. It was a laughter of “What did we just get ourselves into!” It was one of the cheapest mattresses that either had ever seen. It was sure to sag and be unsupportive, but they didn't have to live there, just spend a few hours. The desk clerk’s threat of a small bed held true, but it wasn’t going to bother the two of them. They didn’t mind a tight cuddle. 

He watched as Mei flipped her shoes off her feet, seeing the bright orange carpet under them. “Of course it’s shag,” he sighed. “Who designs these rooms.” 

Mei pulled her top over her head. “The famous designer of 1977, Mark Belogrich.” 

His yellow eyes blinked at her. 

“No, Stupid,” she laughed loudly. “I just made him up!” 

Al snorted back at her, flicking his hand at her. He unzipped the bag, reaching in for a t-shirt to sleep in. He threw one at her before pulling out one of his own. “Should we even check for bed bugs,” he joked. 

Mei stopped, her eyes growing. Her arms were behind her head, weaving a braid to sleep in as she stared at the small bed. “I don't think there is much matress for them to live in…” 

Al slipped his shirt off, grinning as he watched her tie her hair. Even in their exhaustion, there was still a sense of playfulness with the two of them. The excuse was perfect to go over toward her as he walked over, and lifted the corner of the mattress. “Nope,” he confirmed. “They all starved to death.” He dropped the mattress, a light thud and a wisp of dust followed. He ran his hand on the top cover. He didn’t even want to guess when it was last washed. It was stiff, as were the sheets under it. As he turned to give her a light slap on her ass, she hit him first. He looked over his shoulder with a grin. “What’s really weird,” he nodded towards the TV. “How is everything in this motel from my grandmother’s age, but that TV is new?”

She shrugged as she took her pants off to put on her pajama pants. “Maybe that’s their selling point. Newest TVs this side of Timbuktu!” 

Alphonse laughed. “Maybe they should change their strategy and go for a newer model receptionist.” He stood up to avoid Mei trying to hit him playfully and looked for the thermostat. It was chilly in the room. The door did nothing to hold in the heat or keep the cold story wind out. The thunder grew louder as the storm grew closer. He found one, a little sliding bar with a positive and negative sign on it to indicate heat. It didn’t feel stiff, and Al determined that it was most certainly broken. That just meant they’d have some extra snuggles. There was nothing wrong with that. 

“No luck?”

He shook his head. 

“I told you it was too expensive,” she muttered. 

He couldn’t argue with her. He sighed, kicking his shoes off by the door and undoing his pants. “I was debating showering now or later.” 

“You’re brave to even consider a shower. There might be shower bugs.” She snickered at her own joke. 

“You're funny. There isn’t even any soap. But after sleeping on that, we both may want one in the morning.” He pointed to the mattress. 

She sighed loudly. “It’s never boring with you,” she glanced at him with a smirk. She pulled the sheets back, half collapsing onto the bed. “I wonder if they have room service,” she remarked sarcastically.

His pants were tossed and landed haphazardly on their duffle bag. “Do you want me to order you a mimosa and powdered sugar pancakes?” Al picked up the phone as a joke, putting it to his ear. He quickly burst into laughter as he put the phone back down. “Mei, my dearest love, we are going to get murdered.” 

Her head fell into her palms. 

“The phone doesn’t even work.” He plopped down onto his side of the bed, pulling the thin, scratchy sheets over his waist. “I’m sorry,” he yawned. “This is not exactly the best place for a few hours of sleep.” 

She smiled softly as she adjusted her pillow. They were flat with little to no filling. “It’s okay. We’ve slept in worse places.” 

He picked up the remote, leaning against the headboard, feeling it lean back with his weight and creak. With his arm behind his head, he clicked the TV on. “Maybe we can at least order porn.” 

Mei laughed too loudly as she pulled the blankets up to her chin. “That I would believe. If there was anything here, it’d be porn.” 

“Where is the TV guide,” he asked looking to the stand on her side. 

Mei sat up and looked on her stand. She picked up a flimsy piece of paper and blinked at it. “There’s only one channel,” she mumbled. “You have got to be kidding me…” 

He looked over her shoulder. “HBO?”

She laughed as she fell back, handing him the paper in a small fit of laughter. “No. It’s the weather channel.” 

He blinked. “You kidding me?” He took the paper to investigate it himself. Sure enough, it said “TV channels: 1-2 Weather Channel” and that was all. He slumped against the headboard clicking the TV off. The headboard creaked again, threatening to break. “I didn’t want to watch TV anyway,” he muttered. 

“You probably should sleep,” she yawned. Her arm reached out to pat his chest sympathetically. 

“We could play porn,” he suggested with his own yawn. 

“Go to sleep, Alphonse.” She whispered. “You need to rest so we can leave as soon as possible in the morning.” 

He settled down, wrapping his arms around her affectionately. Despite the catastrophe that was their motel and situation, nothing else seemed to matter but each other’s warm embrace. In the morning, they’d continue to make the best of their trip, hopefully making it Edward and Winry’s home by the late afternoon. 

[c64]

The Ultimate C64 Games List Have you ever wondered about the amazing Commodore 64 game list? Yes, we have too - there were loads of them. Problem is that is was a while ago now. This list was compiled to jog the memories:

Operation Wolf

roger frames buys budjiit games

fox fightsback

ace & ace II combo

bubble bobble

tantric mouse wars

home office

salsa con artist

commando ninjas

world flee

blood sparse

ruby of thermogington

jettison railway

ice band

spiderman vs magoo

caravan madness

hulk vs hogan

hunk attack

jet set billy

monkey tennis

score me

addis abbaba karate international +

balloon wars

cloud paste

live at budokan

boris yeltsin vodka challenge

banjo time constructor

emelyn hughes ‘super’ soccer

opium fright

shoot em up penelope

lagoon of carabon harbungo

open heart burglary

frost bandage

diamonds are for women

car spike wheel burst adventure

crazy communists

square man runs up ladder III

treasure island kittens

barrell falls down IV

spoke damage

princess kidnapped 8

undercarriage catastrophe

reminder PRO

Jazz North

Pub Golf

Avalon - Land of the Rust

SimPub

Pregnant Gymnastics

Womb Cook-up

Animal Olympics

NASA Pinball Fantasy

Jed saves christmas

Horace goes Knifing

Time Orifice

Axe-wielding Comedians

Karate Blister

Ornament Erector

Building Smoke Out

Q Bert the Revenge

Trellis Abundance

Titchmarsh v Oddie - Greenkeeper Challenge 88

Co-op Warriors

Sand Veterans

Grass feathers

Morose Wind

Scube Whackey

Escape from Liverpool

Puppy Smoker The Outburst

Roll yer Own Challenge

Hackney Masterblaster

Connect One

Purple Chins

Cotton Developer

Haircut Zest Fair

Trophy Masser

Race Kings Alive

Hazel Irvine’s Whirlwind Badminton

Jazz Rasta VI

Jensen Buttons Nipple Dash

Maze Bomber 909

Speed Chess

Curling Avenger

Rope Twisting Example

Scourge of Daxus

Roy Castle’s Record Breakers

Organ Flexology

Cliff Richard’s Ambiguous Soccer

Revenge of the Feminists

Wax cluedo

Tennis Trumpeteer II

Maximise the Point

Sheep Monopoly

Weight Gain Olympics

Travel Guise

Roger Mellie’s Ice Darts

The Legend of Les Dawson

Blanket Snitch

Tales of the Underformed

Grave Digger 6

Onion Pro 2

Moon Ship

Turbo Trousers

Turbo Walking

Welcome back to the Island of Penny Farthing

Breathing Challenge

Run for President [Ukraine Edition]

F1 Parcel

Awning Inventor

Cello Beat

Super Accelerator Fridge

Crazy Ambulance

Burst Kidney Mopup

Save China

Chemistry Ninja Teacher

Boat Painter Design

Dogs of Fury

Furry Dog*

Beyond the Forbidden Biscuit

The Handlebars of Hashani

Bird Mother

Audio Frenzy Piano Lessons

Short’s Lair

Chun King Farm Life

Jimmy White Teaches Typing

Cif Blaster

Defenders of the Fish

Sandal Behaviour

Alien Food

Thatcher goes to School

Bob Dillons Boxing Farce

Gorbachev plays Chicken

Wayne Gretsky’s Ice Wallet Charity Challenge

Armalyte III - Springburn

Popcorn Death

Vast Salt EU

Virtual Drudgery

Chain of Accordions

Runner Cities

Yellow Bist

Lost Sandals

Train Slow

Sherlock Holmes in The Year 2047

Lost and Profound: Darkness Shop

Dust Police

Borrowed Money

Internet Maze

Slipstream Cowboys

Guns of Dryness

Alpha Scabs

Crusty The Friendly Chimp

Rice Inflator (Super Pack)

Archie McPherson’s Weetabix Head

Denis Law’s Accent Challenge

Dougie Donnelly Dune of Hair

Graeme Souness Must Be Barking

Boon - The Game

Taggart Teens

Emmerdale Goes to Pitlochry

Coping with Eastenders for the under 5’s

Death in the Family Joke

Coloured Fights

Outdoor Darts

Wrist Truffle

White Water Snooker

Sea Quest Powder Seeker

Copious Spandex Run

Mr Motivators’ Taxi Challenge

Breakup

Flapjack

David Dimbleby's Amazon Adventure 12

Frost on Sunday

TV:AM The Early Years

Moira Stuart’s Music Creator

Upside Down Ice Cream Revolt

Vat of Galt Toys

Fist of Fireflies

Tunnel Browner

Stocking Ladder Bless

Lingerie Tycoon

Up & Down with Freddy Mercury

Guitar Slayer

Drum Shake Friends

Wacky Traffic Lights

Oreo Frisbee Games

Hedgehog Relax

Roofer

SimWoman

Bent Angler

Super Horses

Fishing for Tims

Ketamine Kraziness

Shout Appeal

Daz Crime Alert

Tension Ramble

Monitor Crossbones

Stookey Chase

Cardinal Hippos

Marigold Mincers IV

Shane Ritchie’s Up For Everest

War Kind

Question Slime

Bishop Sailor

Grudge Chess

Shoplifter 6

Bed trapper

Saloon Swingers 5

Yells of Tallmouth

Athletic Trombones

Wheel Smicer

Trends of Fashion-hope

Wacky Prostate

Bag A Cow

Pronunciation Fun

with Jackie bird

Landlord Dodge

Stuart Tipney’s Bread Throw Out

Date Checker

Gary Glitter’s Subliminal Message

Frozen Bibs of Babylon

Bricklaying Challenge

Wall Tidy

Reverse a Unicycle

SimCleaner

Pick Pocket Champion 1983

Glorified Yungs

Hungry Hungry Hernias

Marble vest

Ship To Shore

What’s My Rake

View My Braces

Burp: Deluxes

Romeo and Juliet Bravo

North vs South 2 : west vs East

Corner of Flatland

Spherical Eye Bless

Under the Oceans of Armpit Forest

Outrun Birmingham (Spaghetti Junction Edition)

Sweat like a bahookey

SimBarber

Developer Roundabout: Salt Lake Boredom Factor

Wig Breathe

Telecoms Tycoon

SimBeggar

Window Sparkler

Martian Crotchet

Bin Race: Baghdad to Bucks

Limpet Picker 4

Bout of Gout

Fist of Starfish Cave

Revenge of The Ponchoed Ponces

Peruvian Mountain Rally

Pyramid Scheme

Wheelchair Rollers

Disabled Relay

Plastic Bellamy

Escape From The Care Home

Quest Far There

Sigmund Freud’s Phallic Challenge

Location Location Location

Tombola

Pharmaceutical Births

Fun Run

Telethon

The Shat Cat Strikes Back

Poo Displease

Oxymoron - School Clown Dress

Nuns on The Run

Rub a Dug

SimWork

Girl Demander

Tiny Fire Use

Spell Cracker

VirtuaBus

Horse and Cabbage

Hippyhunt

Bug Wrestler

Elmer Fudd’s Bugle Fun

Sesame Street for Mute

Vaccine Madness

Sing-a-long-outhouse

Virgin Wedding

Carry Me Right

Existential Spam

Professor Caressor

Blind Spot

Dowary 4

Backwards Todel

SimFolkSinger

Austrian Summer Fun

Think Game

SimShirt

Mum’s Gone To Iceland

SimShoes

Dad Ravage

VirtuaBurp

Record Deal Blunderer

Vinyl Earth

Pork Love

Candid Carrots

Testament of God

Jasper Carrot’s Comedy Puke

Slug Slugger

fISHMONGER 8

Javelin Jackson

Action Babes 7

Deniable Door Whizz

What’s My Remainder

Shave Me Doris

Ferrari Shaving Adventure

SuperToboggan

Fire Ski

Trowel Turmoil

Soap Detector

SimPigeon

Permit Chief

VirtuaCurtain

Wander Beyonder - Galaxy of Hands

Foot Small

Failed Janine Nurse Player

Bonnie Langford’s Dive of DEath

Cheesy Cheeks 9

Teryaki Throw Throw

Organised Library

Chrome Crunch

Defeat The Dragon XII

Sleeve Beast

Snorkel of Skeleton Mask

Bilge Crusader

Derivative Nonsense

Chip Shop Challenge

Fallopian Tube Gatherer

Short Sharp Shock

Public Pool 2

The Remorse of King Tooth Prize

Mobile Shop Catch

Dentist Revival

Pizzaboy

Return of the Shoulder

Attack of the Maharajah

Farm Variety

Ring Sting VI

Pokey Barracus O

Pyromania [Schools Edition]

Canteen Calamity

Scratch My Scurvy

A Team of Guys

Commercial Insertion

Alien Bold

Walk to Run

Talk Show Live

Wacaday

Tickle Me Hazel

Get to Doctor Green Helmet Arrival

Kirsty Gallacher’s Pony Tail

Bube Tube

Stu’s News

Finger By Jove

SPinach Wars

TrolleyDash IV

Coco Bianco

Can Lift Channel 4: The Game

Spider and Kite

Really Big, Really Small Advent of Tetrapak

Drainblock: Plumber Hero Chronicles

Clammy Elbow

Rinse, Spin and Wash-o-matic

Virtual Carving

Aqua Fridge 4

Milk Charge: None Today Edition

Dose of Lactose

Fruit for Fuel

SEGA Gums

World Cup Baking

Trauma Recentness

Void of Linda

Calculate My Room

Slow Slow Slow, Now Fast

Myrtle’s Spongy Threat

Round the Town: Hull

KLIX Vending Machine Panic

Suitable Suit

Trinidad vs Tobago

Coma Dream Alert

Lose Your Tail

Sudden Trump

Castle of Rugs

Dreadful Quincy

Murder You Write

Salt n Pepa: My First Lyrics

Ferry to the Island of Bins

Up to Maximum

Thanks Goth: Black It Out Decision for Survival

Thorax and King: Temple of 10 Thumbs

Shave or Swim

Spar - Double Time Price Wars

Wooden Office

Windbush: the Quest for Haribo

Thing Commander

Gusset Sweeper II

Military Cocktails: An Interactive Guide

Spillers Winalot

Gus Hiddink: Ladies-Man

Spinal Injury 4

Dungrudder

Dungrudder II

Alan Titchmarsh’s International Samba Karaoke

Gluehead 2 - Back to the Bag

Dogwrestler

Virtual Biscuit Pro Edition

Future Boots

Horace gets an enema

Goth v Ned - The Reckoning

Roy Hudd’s hut folding 3

fondant wheelbarrow challenge

squat thrusting in high denmark with Mr. T

git that skateboard oot ma bed

2 fast and furious - the angry diet

skeptics ranch 4

whippet trigger

cod’s extreme bass fishing

Meatloaf’s leotard attack

smashing gantry with len ganley

cornish nuisance III

janitor pleaser

janitor pleaser II

janitor pleaser III

interactive janitor pleaser 3D

sing-a-long-a-jim-diamond

belgian ring stretch 4

heather mills dance off

sulk or bulk

extreme rabbit riding 9

tony roper’s pope trophy

ship shape and bristol fashion (twin pack)

dan hipgrave’s hip grave

catarrh hero 2

Joseph Holt’s cow safari

barking cats 3

Debbie Gebbie

Rally through Tesco

Piano Catcher

Harold Bishop’s Hutch Touching Compendium

Cardboard Harbour

Guess What’s in the Baxterbox

Extreme Welsh Dentistry

10 Disciples Tickly Bits [denmark edition]

Zebra Dancing 2

Tractor Painting 3

Cindy Crawford’s Virtual Cooperage Pro

Anderson Shelter Designer International

Ambulance Neglecting

Pigeon Surprise!

Chilly B’s Cartography Masterclass

Paralympic Legends 1985

Angry Sue’s Penthouse Disaster

SimFlorist

Amazing Mace

Grimsby Love-In

Trilby Mechanic

Karl Lewis’s 6 Meter Dash Pro

Smoker 8

Collateral Ramage

Horse Drawn Prawn

Firebomb Kirkcudbright

Space Huff

Star Wars: Jedi High Street

Ooft Ooft 2

Flyhunter

Nadeem the Hamster

Bucky Bash II

Schnitzel Wars

Derrick Organ’s Calamity Chinfest

Malky Malky II: The Chib

Venison Crayola

Peter Shilton’s Saucey Canary

French Letter of the Law

Penguin Squeezing

Sodastream Challenge

Arthur C Clarke’s Mysteries of Dunfermline

Skin Complaint 2

Felicity Kendal’s Migratory Kennel

Thigh Trouble III

VirtuaWendy

Pebbledash Apprentice

Thrush Reduction School

Alan Randy Tanner Shows You How

Sim 9 O’clock News

Adult Colostomy

Ray Mears’ Survival Chimney

Brunch Arranger

Pro Pencil Throw

The Continuing Adventures of Nice ‘n’ Soapy

Lunchy Munchy

SimKettle

VirtuaCarpet

Snack bar etiquette

arm harm 4

saucy haulage 9

swimming with trousers on

Thora The Exploder

High Jinks on Highway

Wrist Exposure

Looking After God’s Neck 6

Frog Polishing

Harrison Ford Harrassment

Shampooing Buffalo with Betty Murchie

Unravelling Scobie’s Quotient

Alistair’s Wheels

High Speed Loaf Assembly - Knead For Speed 2

Detolionia - A World of Disinfectant

Coal Punishment

Table with Bilston Glen

Who Is Douglas Bader?

Sharpen Your Trowel with Baden Powell

Bambi Leg Stabilisation

Pimp My Sideboard

Crematorium Capers

The Burning Coupon

Fireplace Customiser featuring Annette Benning

Force 8 Golfing Atrocity Pro-Am

Trout Swiping (Mexican Edition)

Village Idiot Racing 2

Fridge Racer 4

Parrot Force 7

Amish Disease Aversion

Pro-Am Celebrity Road Kill 3

Major James Hewitt’s Blew It Game

Advanced German For Industrial Foundries with Keith Chegwin

I’m A Celebrity, Shave My Arms 8

Mortar Mixing With Fiona Bruce

Self Harm with Hartley’s Jam Jam, Arm, Harm, Barn (Farm Edition)

Deadly Riddles with Bo Diddley, Nicolas Ridley, Ken Dodd, Dodi al Fayed and the Cast of Grease

Not Poodles but Pot Noodles 2

Shed Holder vs. Vijay Singh Sing-a-long a Hitler Hillman Hunter 2

Hearing Aid

Beige Chevette 5

Ian Botham’s County Balls

PramFace: The Revenge

Nebulous Nockers

Hot Knifin’

Anton Rogan’s Potato Scone

Monotonous Madness

Sally Magnuson’s Nicotine Buzz

Doncaster Moose Pulling

Beer Goggle Challenge- Ultimate Edition

Pebble Mill - The Platform Game

Davro Goes West

Jelly Fish Juggling with Jilly Cooper

Ballroom Thighs - A Game For All The Family

Dog Plop Monopoly

Frank Tibbs’ Unanimous Cave  

Tripping Over Thimbles 4

Pebble Mill Pebble Dash

Humourous Toilet Noises 3

Carry On Corduroy 5

Drain Savage 2

Radio 4 Hoar Sampler

Binman Challenge

Boris Becker’s Jazz Complaint

Callcentre Supervisor Pro

Timpsons Manager 1986

Volcano Cheese

The Lemon Vampires of Dudley

Pablo Balloon’s Hernia Diagnosis

Virtua Social Carer

Eric Gluttony

Trouser Press Sabbatical

Alarm! Run! Knit!

Whitly Bay Mesh Collector

Martini Hinge Challenge

Vole Puncher 3

Tropical Slavery 3

Slattery Battery Chat

The Ambivolent Miner’s Chin Problem

Dog Warmer 9

Piano Stroker 2

Brian Hater

Brian Massacre

The Eyes of Salamine

Wingnut

Ruthless Removal of Wind

Egg Rugby 5

International Spine Swapping

Grand Prix - Live from Borehamwood

Farmed Nicaraguan Debris - Collector’s Edition

Spongy Marmite

Fun N Games in Chernobyl with Cheryl Baker

Fun N Games in Chernobyl II without Cheryl Baker

Semi-Pro Badger Excuses 5

Face Biter III

Eric Clapton’s Dead Shoes

Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot Ike

Kate Stits

Dawn French’s Fantasy Football

Giant Priority

Extendable Alien Hairdriers

A Masterclass with Ruud Hullit

Greggs Tycoon

Nail Filing with Stefan Edberg

SimLibrarian

Aardvark Juggling

Any Swedgers?

Civil Engineering Attack Force

Bible Edit III

Cactus Comparing with Terry Waite

Gunther’s Tasty Leather

Health Challenge

Catastrophe Pants

Superhero Draughts

SimJanitor 8: Smooth Moperator

Breath Club

Biting and Chewing

The Goose 3

Armadale

Sangsters 2

Extreme Chinese

Ned Poultry Farmer

Diabolical Gran Odour 6

Camp Action Man

Topless Skateboard Nun 2

Solving Simultaneous Equations Under Water (Bridlington Edition)

Hake Take with Less Than Jake (Celebrity Edition)

The Paul Anka Diaries

Makeover : Wallpapering Your Face 5

Blackhead Removal with Scaffolding Poles 8

High School Musical Shoot Out

Bad Air Hockey (Rotten Egg Edition)

Failed Airport Terrorism Attempt 2

International Banana Terrorist 3

Conventional Bra Wearing

Terrapin 2

split pea glee

gaseous monkey

Cheddarfest revival

moonfaced lung toucher 4

attack of the angry jam ballast

relentless margarine 3

buttergutter

clutter game

wasp wing clasp assembly

futurismysticalismism presented by Kenny Leveritt

pork chop aftermath

strict rector workings 5

detected vim spillage 2

simCOLOSTOMY

Gale Force

Pike Gardening

Ribble Valley Larvae Attraction

Marmite Spite

Sarah Brightman’s Secret Pro-Am Celebrity Tench Cremation

High Speed Paralympic Disasters 5

Savoury Tights 4

Advanced Scone Vandalism with Ruth Maddock

Workplace Victimisation Art 2

Egg Poaching with Prince Charles

Varnishing with Confidence Iggy Pop versus Eggy Pope (Slovenian Edition)

Sloth Pinching with Ewan McGregor

Shoot Deirdre Off Coronation Street As Many Times As You Like

Polished Ginger Bison Falling Over 3

Lego Smashing

Snorting-A-Surgically-Removed-Spaghetti Line Back Through Your Nose Championships with Keith Floyd

Slippery Cats Finger Sizery

Vernacular Spectacular - Regional Heats - Norway Vs Newcastle

Register Maniacs 4

Disabled Horse Fury 5

Turtle Hurlers

Des Lynam’s Mum

Horse v Dolphin: Requiem

rentokil bill 2

rat boy 9

cardboard harbour 9

vote for a wine side dish

Ministry of Justice: Writing the Constitution Sim Local Councilor

Puggy Paradise

Pan-London Kid Chase

Pirates on the Pond

Junior Project Manager III

Decide to Read Again

Nokia vs Motorola: Find the Phone Charger

Feed the Kids Coal (Bono Demo)

Tom Clancy’s Splintered Bell

Jellied babies

Shave the Llama

Jew Harp Hero (Harp not included)

Mum Trashers 4

SimSTD

ActuaMince

Square Peg Round Hole Challenge

Blockman vs DragonThing

Menopausal Madness

Ringbinder II

Equine Manouevers

The Mysteries of Michael Elphick’s Port in a Storm

Haberdasherie Heat

LGV STD

Half a Cider And You’re Laughing

Humourless Hags Return to Castle Frottage

Hungry Hungarian Housewives

Fake Tan Dylan

Super Who Did That Thunder in Tannadice

Swollen River Wheelchair Uh-Oh

Ruby Murray’s Curry from Anything

How Clean is your Mouth

Cilit Bangers

Why’s Dad in the Furnace: HD

R Kelly’s Gotham City

Gerard Kelly’s Diet City

Kendal Misery

Buff Women Crush

Supermarket Nuts

Dry Off - You’re Wet Too!

Xenophobic Elderly Home

Easy Rider: Trikes and Quads

Rise Up and Get Back To Bedford

Alan Sugar’s Finger Fiasco

Private Investigator: Carbon Footprints

Snakes on a Phone

Phone a Snake

Snakephone

Phoney Snake

Children In Need: One Can Survive

The Canterbury Compendium Featuring: Sinister Minister

The Godies ft. Hymn Brooke Taylor

Virtual Nun

Cheeses Of Nazareth

Nun Surfing: Birds of Pray

Dogs drink wine

nacho panic

ostrich borstal

bombscare in sacred cities of spain

spiral binding awards

biro spinning awards

spiro binning awards

Thora Hird’s Extreme Stairlift

Gammy Dodger 2

Hell Monger 5

Tag Nutter 8

simClaw

Mayonnaise Babies 2

Kissing With Incontinence

Dances With Wolverines

Come Dancing 3D

Dumb Dating 4D

Interactive Pylon Climbing

Fundamental Dish Cloth Equations

Haulage Wars 1 - Norbert Dentressangle vs. Eddie Stobbart

Haulage Wars 2 - David Heeps vs. C. Hinds Potato Merchants

White Van Driver Fashion Show

Greasy Dinosaurs Almanac

Terrible Tearing Sounds

Baste The Family

B&Q BBQ Standoff

May’s Rotary Chuckling

Spontaneous Fury

Induced Tap Dancing with Andy May

Your Lip’s Burst 2

Attack of the 40 foot Gingerbread Postman

The Dalgleish Index Escalator

Arthur Askey’s Crop Spraying

Alsatian Alien

Cow Painter 5

Impossible Cornering Technique with Ayrton Senna

Ann Frank 3D

Chop: Stand: Force: Interactive Cumnock Gala Day with Obie Trice

Dougie Donnelly’s Battenberg Cake Jumper Confusion Game

Mince Rinsing with Peter Alice

Wife Swab 3

Knife Swap 4

Gnome Drool Collecting for Beginners

Anger Manager IV

Uncle Tony’s Special Cupboard

Spilt Milk

Virtual RAC Guy Challenge

Michael Ballack’s Ludo Madness

Archie McPherson’s Apron of Chance

Gulls of Fury

Monty Don’s Embroidery Masterclass

Spammy the Dog

Rumbelows

Windows C64 edition

Mr. Minit’s Key Cutting Japes

Saved By The Bell End 3

Asp The Family - Snakecharmer Edition

Snoop Doggy Dog’s Dance Studio Workout

Taming The Shrew with Lena Zavaroni

VirtuaConkers

Sectarian Dolphin 4

Fly Phishing by J.R. “Hacker” Hartley

The Goth Temple of Gloom

The Hannible Lectures

simBiscuit (bourbon special)

Evostick Party

Bri-Nylon Guy 3

Skinflat Survival

Eaglesham Startrek

Bees In The Loft

Sandra Sandra

Justin and Colin’s Guide To Deep Sea Pipe Welding

Wayne Rooney Loony Toon Room for Kids

Pheasant Milkfloat Run

Late Ex in Latex 6

Dick Advocaat’s guide to coctkail mixing

To The Manor Braun

Tandoori Roti 3

Murder She Roti

Silence of The Prams

Emlyn Hugh’s Omelette Challenge

Josh Wink’s Tiddleywinks

Elvanfoot Butterfly Massacre

Carstairs

Monster Metros

Fuzzy-Felt Masterclass with Yuri Gagarin

Predator Paint

Eel Chair Regatta

Big Pants Comedy Skydiving

Bang! Bang! Bang! Oops…

Swindlin’ Yokels with Roman Abramovich

Outrun Bolton

Tony Blair’s Prole Crusher

Heather The Weather’s Fishnet Frenzy

Nick Drake’s Morose Warblings

Ape Attack!: Wishaw

Patrick Moore’s Tedium Personified

Chicken Gun

Barry Robson’s Beguiling Napper

C5 Grand Prix

Roll Me A Fat One and Get They Dishes Done

Brahim Hemdani’s Unremarkable Competence

Virtual Soup of the Day

The Rancid Horns of Leith

Super-Monday-Banana-Death

Ask Me A Graham

Undercarriage Return

Steve Ovette’s Erratic Frog

Tennis Stuart

Bomb Acrobat

SimAlcoholic

Girth Alarm 3

Alan Hanson’s Amatuer Granny Revival

Pickpocket Pro

Chinchilla Wrestling

Crouching Greyhound Hidden Danger

Poodle Judo with Judith Chalmers

Hedge Availability

Overwhelmed Whelk Farmer 2

Cupboard of Lentils 7

Sloth Borstal 2

Pro-Am Prawn Wrestling

Custard, Mustard and Other Rhyming Condiments

Cat Litter Lego

Jimmy Nail’s Book Corner

Navigating Cumbernauld Whilst Aggrevated

Hanah Barbera’s Meat Collective

Tensile Strengthometer

Betty Boothroyd’s Hooverathon

AfroClam

Attack of The Four Lipped Maneater

The Wizard’s Sleeve

J-Lo’s Bum Shelf Warm

Salad Dressing with Trinny and the Bigger One

Keith Floyd’s Damp Side of the Moon

Soviet TicTacs: Taste of War

World Cup Eczema

Mum vs Dad: Grab a Plate

Upside of Death VI

Ulti-Mugger: Wallet and Watch, Ta

Soft and Gentle 3: Roll On

MC Hammer’s World of Pantaloons

Restore Pet Cemetary

Audible Charm: Legend of the Gentle Trump

That’s Not My FInger!

Zoo of ham-fed Gibbons

Wake Up! You’re Not Dead Yet

Wake Up! I’m Limbless and There’s a Fire

Drifting Away: Grandad’s Final Slumber Party

Pyjamas.. At School?

Neil Buchanan’s Antler Attack

Cash In the Attic, Now In My Attic

Get Pregnant 5 - Civilised Scamming

Soda Stream: Hunt for the Gas Canister

Soda Stream II: But It Says Cola Flavoured!?

Invest in Me, I’m a Maniac

London Tube Track Scraper

Armitage Shanks

Virtual Log

Death Row Buckaroo

Labour Backbench Cage Fighting

Floaty The Finless Waterbeast

Vauxhall Advert Creator

Dragged 150 Yards: Bradford Joyride

Old Spice: She’s Yours

Unicycling for Pensioners

Unmentionable Chalky Taste 6

Island Pancake Mixing with Seb Blatter

Filthy Ventriloquist Stories

Eddie Vedder’s World Of Shreddies

Camp Ramp

Tobogganing with Wogan

Annie Mack’s Caramac Slacks

Irene Maiden 10

Sausage Jockey 3

Cured Ham and Other Medical Miracles

Mud Wrestling with Thora Hird

Sim Haulage

Sim Heelage

Sim Cabbage

Sim Charles Babbage

Sim Gym

Liquor & Poker - Rude Casino Edition

Pass The Dutchy of Cornwall From The Left Hand Side

High Heel Teeterage 3

Esther Rantzen’s Root Vegetable and Tuber Hilarity Fest

Nun Paintball 4

Arm Wrestling Dentist 9

Julie Andrew’s Liver Salts 3

Sanitary Owl Radio 4

Bus in a Leotard

World’s Strongest Nan

Hector Sylvester’s Turquoise Noise

Ambulance Chaser 2

Foam Party at The Foam Centre

Press and Mend

Touch the Hutch

Mastic Badger

Surname Challenge ft. Yvonne Goolagong vs. Peter Oosterhouse

Mast Blast Bomb Scare 3

Going Through At The Back 3

Pinball Lizard 5

Dancing With Oxygen

The Dimbleby Conundrum

Virtua Council Gritter

Rampant Carpark

Icarus Manifold’s Welsh Poster Collection

Religious Gardening with Moses and his Hoses

Air Rifle Chooser with Bishop Desmond’s .22

Ballet Dancing with Bishop Desmond’s TuTu

Slurry Avoidance ft. Alvin Stardust

Celebrity Quinine

Abatoir Jubilee Beef

Geek Orthodox

Fudge Assembly

Relax, Prance, Peel

Paul Ince’s “What’s in the Fridge?”

Super Kennel Admin

Attack, Sleep, Trapeze!

Verify My Post

Saral Ping’s Finch Adjuster

Intermediate Curve Basting

Combustable Constable 5

Fancy Cheese 3

Hazel Butters 2

Lloyd Cole’s Motion Commotion

Vermin Descriptor 2

Tray Balance in Ballantray

Fluid Choppery with Glen Blantyre

Predatory Tory Trap

Inflatable Vatican

Marzipan Tarzan

That’s Barry, Eh?

Marmite Termite

Octogenerian Hair Piece 5

Caustic Frog 3

Fridge Racer

Flouride Jockey

Algae Mechanic

The Baghdad Irritation

Crazy Meerkat Forklift Racing

Zak Marvel’s Gaseous Print Revival

Easter Toolbox

Winkle Picker II

Virtua Morrisons

Face Camp

Holy Moly - the unluckiest Mole in the Field

Kays - Catalogue of Errors

Wunder-Hat

Look Out! Too Late.

Pleasant Pheasant

Mike Tyson’s Rapid Wrestling

Reservoir Logs

An Audience With Kirk Broadfoot

Salami Origami

Who’s in the Pot?

Deep-Sea Monopoly

Frank Lampard’s Mousetrap Masterclass

Aztec Leg

Kitchen Thespian

Scaffolding Terror

Somalian Pirates

Take Guernsey

Treacle or Turnip?

Olympic Jail

Sweat on Me and I’ll Vomit

Dubious Quality Controller 5

Quiff Aligner

Re-pot That Geranium, You Fool

Soft Furnishing Spectacular

Dad! You’re My Brother!

Peter Kincaid. Now you Try

12lbs of Something

Vosene - The Forgotten Chemical

Viv Lumsden’s Pit of Terror

Halfords: Den Of Incompetence

Rubber Stamp Misery

The Beechgrove Garden Presents: High Tedium

Monks On A Bus

Gordon The Gopher’s Amsterdam Exploits

Imaginary Futures: President Trump

Tetrapak! 

DIY Watercolor: Pylons of Tyneside

Paradise Lumbago

Post Office Manager: Bungled or Burgled

Crass Bandicoot 

Chequered Flag F1 Racist Challenge

Err, That’s Not Shampoo

BANG! Search For The Dirt, Limescale & Rust

These are all available to buy on Ebay, apart from 619 which they actually forgot to produce. 

[edgarqrem981-blog]

30 Inspirational Quotes About Locksmith Service Plano Texas

Locks were actually brought into this world from requirement as individuals wanted methods to protect their valuables. Although the initially locks have been produced from a number of rope knots and bore no resemblance towards the locks used today, they provided the same objective and had been the ideas for a new technology that would eternally change the encounter of historical past.

Locking mechanism Background: Locks Throughout the Age groups

The most ancient acknowledged securing process dates back a lot more than 6,000 several years, found from the historic ? Mesopotamian empire of Assyria. The traditional Egyptians designed a related modern technology and tend to be credited with creating the first mechanical lock, that has been a basic pin tumbler lock made totally from wood. These were also the first to integrate this attribute within their structure as a technique of protection.

This lock was comprised of a wood article linked to the doorway and a bolt that may slide horizontally in the publish. The bolt was outfitted with some availabilities that were filled with pins, as well as a sizeable solid wood key was created with pegs that equalled the holes and pins. The pins would move and allow the security bolt to be moved as well if the key was placed into the opening and lifted up.

The Romans and Greeks made several enhancements to lock technological innovation during their individual eras. Greek locks were not considered to be overly secure, but their ideas served as an inspiration for later technologies developed by the Romans. The most important transform made by the Romans was transitioning the predominate materials from which locks were actually created from wood to aluminum. Steel locks also made it possible for for tips for be reduced down to a far more contemporary-time size.

Men and women would typically use their tips as pendants or perhaps keep these things infused into wedding rings, for both risk-free-trying to keep so that as an indicator of wealth. If you had a key, you were bound to have something valuable enough to need protecting.

After a period of improvement inside the Roman era, locks underwent a darkish grow older through which no key improvements were actually produced once again up until the 18th century. When Robert Barron manufactured “a lock much more safe than any hitherto made” in 1778, his increase-acting tumbler lock, it labeled the development of a new age of lock technologies which includes brought all the way to the current age of locksmithing.

These days the wide array of several locks is innumerable, with each design and style does have its cons and pros dependant upon the preferred function and placing wherein the lock is going to be employed. You utilize locks every day, so it is essential to know the different options available to you when thinking about the two functionality and safety. This list of 23 varieties of locks includes the most prevalent locks noticed in america, along with valuable details about their form and function to improve inform you regarding the locks in your own life.

The Padlocks

Padlocks are the most frequent form of free standing lock as well as simple to determine in the lock series-up. The 1st padlocks were utilized in historic Babylon and Egypt, desired for his or her convenience, which continues to be principal bring of this form of lock these days. Harry Soref copyrighted the 1st laminated padlock in 1924 following founding the Expert Lock company in 1921, with his fantastic style remains to be used today. These day there are two major types of padlocks with many different other minimal versions.

Mixture Padlocks

In order to unlatch the locking mechanism, Combination locks are padlocks that require a specific number sequence. These can have either a single dial or multiple dials, though the single dial locks most commonly seen on school lockers and safes are actually considered more secure than the multi-dial locks often used in bike locks and on briefcases.

The first combo lock was designed by ? ?James Sargen? ?t in 1857, and also the modern day-day mixture lock was developed by Linus Yale, Jr. employing his father’s pin tumbler lock technological innovation together with Sargent’s invention. However, these locks are relatively simple to pick out or break.

Key-Structured Padlocks

Essential-structured padlocks need a step to be opened. Some types of these padlocks might be rekeyed, yet others are unable to. If it cannot be rekeyed and you lose the key, your lock will be permanently locked unless you are able to pick it or cut the shackle, keep in mind that.

Essential-dependent padlocks can even be crucial-preserving, which suggests the lock will not likely allow the step to be taken away while it is open up.

TSA-Authorized Tresses

When you find yourself traveling inside of the United States, the Travel Security Administration has specified some accredited padlocks which can be used to protect your luggage. They can be mixture locks that can be accessed having a expert key only TSA staff are meant to have.

However, because they are seen as easy to pick and ineffective in protecting people’s belongings, these locks have become somewhat of a joke in recent years. There are also stories documented about locks missing out on completely when people obtain their travel luggage right after traveling.

Deadbolts

Deadbolts are often looked at as getting more secure compared to common spring season lock since they can not be opened except when a vital is commonly used to swivel the lock tube towards the open up position. You frequently see these applied to homes as well as other external entry doors being an more layer of safety together with a much less-secure lock.

The 1st deadbolt, or “jimmy-confirmation lock” was designed by former cop Samuel Segal, who started Segal Lock And Computer hardware Organization in 1912. His design and style was meant to continue to keep out intruders as the technique of jimmying locks became far more prevalent. Right now, you can find three major variants from the basic deadbolt, plus the jimmy resistant deadbolt created soon after Segal’s innovation.

Individual Tube

Most American properties use individual tube deadbolts, which function having a key on the exterior and a thumbturn internally.

For the further stability, a flip defend could be mounted throughout the thumbturn to stop it from revolving, which means that the deadbolt can not bebumped and picked, as well as unlocked while using important as soon as the defend is at position.

Double Tube

Twice tube deadbolts are considered safer simply because they call for a key for both the inside and outside but also create a basic safety hazard in case there is an urgent situation. Some housing rules in the United States do not let just for this form of deadbolt, particularly on leasing housing.

Lockable Thumbturn Design

For maximum security, a lockable thumbturn style deadbolt is recommended because the door can be locked from both the inside and outside.

It is a hybrid in the single and double tube locks, having a important tube using one aspect plus a thumbturn that could be locked with a crucial on the other. When folks are home, the inner thumbturn might be left from the unlocked situation, along with the doorway will work similar to a standard one tube deadbolt. No one on the outside or inside can operate the lock if the thumbturn is locked.

Jimmy Proof Deadbolts

The jimmy proof deadbolt is a difference about the normal deadbolt that is mounted on the surface from the doorway and often seen in apartments as well as on twice entry doors. This form of deadbolt is often preferred in these settings because the surface mount calls for little modification to the door during installation, and they are unique because the http://www.locksmithplanotx.us deadbolt actually interlocks with the jamb bracket, making them more resistant to excessive force than the standard deadbolt.

Tresses in Manages

Knob Fastens

Button locks are typically used on the outside entry doors of properties in conjunction with a deadbolt lock. These are an easy method of spring lock rather than extremely protected for the reason that cylinder is with the knob instead of from the doorway.

Regrettably, the button may be knocked off the front door by using a hammer, pliers, or the effective use of ample push, generating the fact that these locks are relatively simple to choose practically unimportant. A button lock should never be applied as the only lock by using an external entrance, even though they were as soon as well-known in a range of applications, button locks would be best utilized as internal locks in a household setting.

Lever Deal with Hair

Locks with lever handles are most frequently noticed in an industrial placing because of the compliance with the Americans with Handicaps Work and tend to be only utilized on internal doors. Are even less secure than knob locks because they can often be opened by brute force, even though they have a lever that serves as the rotatable turn knob on one side and a key cylinder on the other, much like a knob lock.

Vending/T-Deal with Locks

T-manage locks are usually called vending locks since they are generally applied to vending machines and ATMs. Whenever you wide open one of these locks, you are in fact taking out the lock from the system, that means it is extremely simple to swap.

These locks come with both a spring latch or perhaps a dead latch. The spring season latch immediately relocks if the t-take care of is snapped back in place, and the deceased latch necessitates the lock be resecured by using a key.

Other Cylinders

Mortise/Edge Cylinder Locks

Even though outlined collectively, mortise cylinders and rim cylinders are in fact two different kinds of locks that share several similarities. These crossbreed locks are thought to be more secure than deadbolts, and also you are likely to discover one of those on industrial doorways, window admittance doorways, or in a flat environment.

The rear edges of a edge cylinder and mortise cylinder show only rim cylinders possess a very long tailpiece that expands as a result.

However outlined collectively, mortise cylinders and rim cylinders are actually two different types of locks that discuss a lot of similarities. These crossbreed locks are regarded as safer than deadbolts, and also you are likely to find out one on commercial doors, cup access entrance doors, or in a flat placing.

The rim cylinder has a long tailpiece that extends from its backside that goes through the door and into the locking mechanism on the other side when installed. That's the main difference between the mortise cylinder and the rim cylinder. Mortise cylinders are threaded in the area and attach to the mortise computer hardware placed in the doorway. They have a camera where the edge cylinder have their extended tailpiece, which is often used to function the lock.

Interchangeable Key Cylinders

And other institutions use, locks with interchangeable core cylinders are likely the answer, if you have ever wondered what types of locks biguniversities and businesses. These locks are beneficial because their design makes them easy to change, as the core can be replaced without having to disassemble the lock.

Two different kinds of keys are widely used to operate exchangeable locks. The control key removes the entire core from the lock, though the standard operator key is used for locking and unlocking the lock as usual. To replace the lock, you only need to place a whole new key to the present computer hardware already set up in the door. These locks can be found in the two little format and huge format interchangeable primary.