#dorian storm please come back i miss u

[yudol-skorbi]

these sure are....a hell of a bells......

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace - chapter 10

A Manorian High School AU

Words: 4150

AO3 Link

Masterlist

TW: Descriptions of violence and abuse

Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

A/N: Hello!

First, I would like to say that I am very sorry for taking a long, but necessary break from this fic. Turns out my mental health doesn't like doing nothing for two months straight...Please accept my apology in form of this long-as-fuck chapter:)

Secondly, this chapter is far from perfect, but I have to admit, I'm kinda proud of myself with this one, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it:)

Lastly, thank you so much to everyone who likes, shares, reblogs reads, comments etc. I couldn't have continued this fic without you<3

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I know that you’re hiding

I know there’s a part of you that I just cannot reach

You don’t have to let me in

-Florence + The Machine, Hiding

«Asterin, stop.»

Manon’s cousin turned at the angry tone, stopping on her way out the door. She was schooling her features into the usual look of ignorant bliss, and it annoyed Manon to no end. How the hell could she pretend to be so calm when the world was turned upside down three weeks ago?

«What?» Asterin replied, smiling as if everything was fine. Manon pretended not to see how the smile faltered slightly, how Asterin’s jaw visibly tightened, her breath quickening. A crack in the perfect foundation.

Crossing her arms, Manon leaned against the wall, giving her cousin a glare. «We need to talk,» Manon said, her voice demanding.

She couldn’t believe how three weeks had passed, and they still hadn’t talked about the fact that Asterin had been knocked up by her boyfriend. The morning after finding out the news, Manon had woken up to an empty house and a note from Asterin saying she was at Hunter’s. The following three weeks Asterin had managed to never stay in the same room as Manon for long enough to have a proper conversation. It was infuriating.

«Talk about what?» Astrerin replied, a sickening look of confusion on her face.

«You know perfectly well what I’m talking about.»

«That’s not your problem to worry about.» Asterin was about to pick up her bag and head out the door once more, but Manon managed to slam it shut in time, blocking her cousin’s path.

«It became my problem the second you asked me to hide it from our grandmother,» Manon hissed at her. «You can’t just come into my room in the middle of the night, crying, and tell me that you’re pregnant, for then to pretend nothing happened!»

Asterin still faced the door, avoiding Manon’s eyes. «I am dealing with it,» she whispered, finally turning around.

Manon’s anger faded a little at the look of utter defeat on her cousin’s face. Her whole body sagged against the closed door, silver lining her eyes.

«Do you-» Manon hesitated, letting out a long sigh, «Do you need me to go with you? To the appointment?»

«What appointment?» The confusion on Asterin’s face was real this time.

«The abortion?»

Manon might as well have slapped her cousin by the way her head shot up, eyes narrowed, mouth formed into a tight line, hands balled into fists.

«You’re not keeping it, are you? Are you insane?!» Manon yelled. She couldn’t believe they were even having this conversation.

«That’s none of your business,» Asterin said, voice cold. And the way she was staring down Manon…she had never felt so small.

«You’re seventeen!» Manon was certain her cousin had actually lost her mind. She couldn’t be serious about this. A baby…they were still, technically, children themselves. And if their grandmother found out, when their grandmother found out…

Shaking her head, Asterin said, «So? And for the millionth time, this isn’t your problem. I can-»

«It is my problem when you expect me to lie to our grandmother every day! It is my problem when I have to explain why you’re hurling your guts up every morning, or why you’re never around anymore! Do you want me to keep lying when your belly gets all round? Or when you have an actual, living baby to take care of?»

Manon was screaming now, but she didn’t care.

«You’re not gonna tell her, are you?» Asterin looked scared, and Manon could see that she was shaking a little. Manon was shaking too, but not with fear.

«I-» Manon began, groaning in frustration. «I just don’t know what you think is gonna happen? You’ll just have a baby at seventeen and then you and Hunter and your baby will be a happy little family? That’s not how the world works.»

Asterin was tapping her foot against the floor, clearly pissed. «My mom was only seventeen when she had me.»

«And you see how well that went…How long has it been since she called you, Asterin?»

The words slipped from her mouth before she had time to think. It was a low blow, and Manon knew it. Unlike Manon, Asterin actually knew her mother, had lived with her for eight years, until the woman one day just dropped Asterin off at her grandmother’s house. In the beginning, she often called, even visited, but Manon had no idea when Asterin had last heard from her mother. It wasn’t something they talked about.

Her cousin’s eyes were focused on the floor, and when she finally looked up, her expression cold and empty, it sent a chill down Manon’s spine.

«I’m gonna go now, before I say something I’ll regret.» Asterin’s voice was devoid of any emotion.

«And where are you going?» Manon breathed.

«To be with my boyfriend, who actually cares about how I feel.»

Manon tried calling after her, but Asterin was out the door in a heartbeat, nearly slamming it in Manon’s face.

They couldn’t keep going like this. It was driving her crazy, the hiding, the lying, the tiptoeing. All of it, just to postpone the inevitable.

Because their grandmother was bound to find out at some point, and when she did, all hell would break loose. Manon could feel it, the wave of impending doom, coming closer and closer.

What was Asterin thinking? She was ruining her life. Everything their grandmother had done for them, to make sure they got into college, to make sure they didn’t end up like their own mothers - one of them dead and the other doing god knows what - and Asterin was throwing it all away.

Letting out another groan of frustration, Manon slammed her fists against the wall, head following suit. How could she? How could Asterin put them in this situation?

All the stress and guilt and worrying was eating her alive. She’d stopped sleeping at night, couldn’t focus at dance practice anymore, could barely keep up with her classes.

She had also began avoiding Dorian. Had outright ghosted him from the moment Asterin crawled into her bed, crying.

Thinking about it, she had been acting a lot like Asterin, with the way she refused to talk to him, never staying in the same room as Dorian for long enough to have a proper conversation.

It had been a mistake, all of it. The texting, the hanging out, the fucking playlist!

He’d stopped texting her about a week ago. Picking up her phone, Manon began scrolling through the thread.

Manon: Here’s the playlist. It’s best enjoyed if you listen to it in the right order.

Dorian: Sorry for not replying til now but I heard through the entire thing and fine you were right I hadn’t heard any of it before and yes you do have fantastic taste in music pls send me more!!!!!

Dorian: Are u awake?

Dorian: I listened to your playlist again…Damn you have good taste in music;)

Dorian: You left the classroom so quick today I didn’t have the time to talk to you, wanna get lunch?

Dorian: I really liked that playlist….

Dorian: Can we talk? Whenever you’re available…

Dorian: Have I done something wrong?

Dorian: Pls just answer me…

Dorian: I’m gonna stop texting you now, but I’m here if you ever wanna talk about what the fuck is going on…

Manon felt awful for avoiding him like this, not even giving him an explanation, but her life was a complete mess, and it was better to end things before Dorian realized it too. It would hurt less that way.

But Manon thought about him often. Missed him, even. She tried not to think about what it might mean.

Footsteps sounded outside, and thinking it was Asterin, Manon whirled around to confront her cousin once more, only to be met by the stern eyes of her grandmother.

The surprise must have been written on Manon’s face, because the woman in front of her said, «Expecting someone else?»

«No, I was just surprised. I thought you were coming home tomorrow,» Manon said, quickly shaking her head.

Her grandmother looked her over, always searching, assessing, judging. «And how have things been going while I was away?»

Plastering a reassuring smile on her face, Manon replied, «Good. The usual. I got an A on that history test I told you about.»

«Hm,» was her grandmothers only response, Manon’s smile faltering. «And the dancing?»

Manon swallowed, looking at her feet. «Getting there.»

«That is not good enough, and you know it, Manon.» She still didn’t look at her grandmother.

«I know, I’ll do better, I promise. It’s just…school has been very stressful lately.»

«That is not an acceptable excuse.»

«Yes, grandmother. I’ll do better.» Her heart was racing, palms sweaty.

«LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!» Flinching, Manon lifted her head, focusing her eyes on the wall beside her grandmother, unable to meet the furious stare.

The woman stormed over to where Manon was standing, grabbing her chin so hard Manon was sure it would bruise. Manon finally willed her eyes to meet those of her grandmother.

«Pathetic, utterly pathetic,» her grandmother said, voice low. She clicked her tongue, and let go of Manon.

«I will go into my office now, and when I come back out, you better be out of sight.»

And with that, she was gone, her office door slamming shut.

Bringing her arms around herself to stop the shaking, Manon couldn’t help the sigh of relief escaping her lips.

At least she hadn’t asked about Asterin.

-

Standing in front of Aelin’s house, Dorian had no idea how he’d actually gotten there. All he knew, was that he couldn’t take more of his parents’ fighting, that he had to get out, had to rant about it to someone.

The past three weeks had been stressful, to say the least. His parents were fighting more than ever and the load of homework, tests and assignments they were given at school seemed to never end.

Then there was Manon…Out of the blue, she’d stopped talking to him, stopped responding to his texts, making sure they never stayed in the same room for long.

He had tried catching up with her after class, had tried approaching her in the hallway, but he’d been unsuccessful. At least until today.

«Can we talk?»

Manon startled, turning around to find Dorian leaning against the lockers.

«I’m late for class,» she mumbled, eyes on the floor.

«Bullshit,» Dorian said, crossing his arms. «Class starts in 15 minutes.»

«I can’t-» Manon began, but she never finished, instead turning around once more to leave him.

Fuck, Dorian thought, chasing her through the hallway like some stalker.

«Manon! Wait!» he called after her, trying to keep up with her fast pace. She finally stopped right before the door to their classroom, tapping her foot impatiently.

«Can we just talk? Please.» She still didn’t look at him.

Dorian sighed, trying to meet her gaze. «Did I do something wrong?»

«No,» she whispered, the word barely audible. Manon looked up, but her eyes still didn’t meet his.

She looked tired, dark circles framing those golden eyes. And they weren’t their usual, glowing color today, more like a dulled version of it.

Unease settled deep in Dorian’s stomach. Carefully, he asked, «Did something happen?»

«What makes you think that?» she asked hurriedly, her tone angry. Her eyes finally met his, shooting him a deadly glare.

Before Dorian had the chance to explain, Manon said, «I don’t have time to play friends with you, which I told you, so please stop bothering me, and leave me the fuck alone!»

Dorian couldn’t move, could only stare as she turned around and walked away.

He had known for a while what he felt for her. Had known he wanted to be more than just friends. Had hoped they could be more than friends.

But Dorian just stood there, leaning against the wall, and watched that hope disappear into the crowd along with a white ponytail.

That conversation was maybe the biggest reason why he was now knocking on Aelin’s door. Dorian desperately needed advice, the kind only Aelin could give.

«Dorian! What are you doing here?»

Lost in his brooding, Dorian hadn’t noticed Aelin opening the door. She made her way over to him, pulling him into a tight hug.

Drawing apart, Dorian saw that she was wearing her boots and jacket. «You’re on your way out, aren’t you?»

Aelin shook her head, her eyes worried as she took in his somber state. «I was gonna meet Rowan, but I think you need me more right now.»

Dorian was about to protest, but Aelin beat him to it. «He’ll understand.»

With that, he followed her inside, escaping the chilly autumn wind. There was no point in arguing with his friend, she was the most stubborn person he knew.

Dragging him into the kitchen, Aelin asked, «Is it an ‘eat ice cream and cry’ kind of crisis you’re having?»

«I think so,» he said, but Aelin was already digging through the freezer, not bothering to wait for an answer.

«Dorian! Haven’t seen you in a while,» Evalin Ashryver Galathynius said as she made her way into the kitchen, cheery as ever.

«Weren’t you gonna see Rowan?» Aelin’s mom asked her daughter while pouring herself a glass of wine.

«Change of plans,» Aelin shrugged.

«Good. I missed having Dorian around.» As she said that, she squeezed his shoulder, the gesture so motherly Dorian had to try very hard not to cry.

He had always been jealous of how affectionate Aelin’s parents were, so unlike his own.

«Is school busy these days?» Aelin gave him a warning glare, as if to say, «Don’t answer that! She’ll never stop talking!»

Dorian looked Aelin straight in the eye as he smirked and said, «Very.»

Evelin leaned against the counter, sipping her drink. «Ugh, you kids have so much pressure these days.» Aelin rolled her eyes.

«I mean it, when I was in high school-,»

«Here she goes…» Aelin said, low enough for only Dorian to hear.

«I can’t remember us ever sitting up half the night with homework. We got to be wild teenagers, you know, your dad and I-»

«Okay, we don’t wanna hear about you and dad, bye mom!» Aelin said as she bolted out of the room, grabbing Dorian’s hand and pulling him with her.

«Wait!» Evalin called after them. The pair turned to see her holding the bottle of wine.

«If you promise to not tell your father, you can have what’s left of this.» Aelin’s mother winked at the wicked grin appearing on her daughter’s face.

Aelin snatched the bottle, yelling «THANKS MOM YOU’RE THE BEST!» while making her way towards her room. Dorian followed suit, shutting the door.

«So, spill,» Aelin said, flinging herself down on the bed.

«I don’t know, it’s just been a lot, lately,» Dorian sighed, not knowing where to even begin.

«Your parents fighting again?»

That was one of the things he loved the most about Aelin. She always seemed to know what he was thinking, voicing the difficult words so he didn’t have to do it himself.

He let his head fall into his hands, groaning. «I know it’s awful, but sometimes I wish they would just get divorced.»

Aelin gave him a grim smile, passing him the wine bottle. Dorian took a sip, grimacing at the bitter taste.

Searching him with her gaze, Aelin said quietly, «But that’s not the only thing on your mind, is it?» Damn her, and her ability to see right through him.

Dorian took a deep breath, before saying, «I made a new friend…»

«A friend, huh?» Aelin gave him a knowing smile, and Dorian could feel his cheeks turning pink.

«Yes, a friend,» he said, punctuating the last word. «We’ve been hanging out a lot, and for a while it was all great, but then she suddenly stopped talking to me and I don’t know why.»

Hard as it was, it felt good to let it all out.

«Wait, you said she? Is it someone I know,» Aelin asked, raising an eyebrow. Dorian tried handing her the wine, but she shook her head, giving him a look that said, You need it more than I do.

Dorian thought about it for a long second, debating whether he should tell Aelin the truth or not. He recalled her words from earlier, «I had PE with her last year, and I swear to god, she has the emotional range of a teaspoon.»

Remembering that comment, he suddenly felt a wave of anger rush through him. Aelin had been wrong. In fact, he was certain Manon felt more than most people.

When he didn’t answer, Aelin pushed further, «Is it someone from school?»

«It’s Manon Blackbeak,» he mumbled, words barely audible.

But Aelin had heard him, because she jumped up, a look of utter disbelief on her face. «You’ve been hanging out with MANON BLACKBEAK!?!?»

«Do you have to yell?» Dorian whispered, but Aelin didn’t hear him.

«HOW?!» she yelled even louder, throwing her arms in the air.

Giving her a glare, Dorian said, «If you please calm down, I’ll tell you everything.»

And he did, from the very beginning. Dorian told her about the project, about the bantering, about the hanging out, about the playlist, all of it, and Aelin stayed unusually still the entire time.

When he was done, she looked up at him and said, «She does seem like the person to do just that. Letting you think you’re friends and then just cut you out.»

«But you don’t know her,» Dorian tried. Aelin merely gave him a pointed look that said, And you do?

Dorian shrugged. «She didn’t seem like herself earlier today. Something was bothering her…But who knows, maybe she simply learned how much of a socially awkward loser I actually am and decided I wasn’t worth it.»

He had no idea where that last part came from, but it felt good to say it out loud.

«Oh, Dorian! Don’t you ever think that,» Aelin told him, shaking her head. «You’re literally one of the most amazing people I know, and anyone who gets to have you as their friend is the luckiest person in the world.» She was all serious, stern, even.

Holding back the tears gathering in his eyes, Dorian pulled Aelin into a tight hug. «Thank you,» he whispered.

«No problem. And if something was bothering her, I’m sure she’ll come talk to you again when she’s ready.» Aelin bit her lip, hesitating. «Are you sure you’re just friends?»

«Yes,» Dorian exhaled. «But-»

«But you wish you were more.»

He could only nod.

They stayed silent for a moment, before Aelin spoke once more. «You know, I only have guy friends, so I’m pretty shit at giving advice on things like this.»

They were lying in opposite ends of the bed now, facing one another. «I think you did pretty good,» Dorian said to reassure her.

«I still need to get some girl friends I think. I tried ranting to Chaol the other day about the trials and tribulations of living with a bitchy uterus, and I have never seen someone leave a room so fast.»

Dorian brought out his signature smirk, saying, «You can talk to me about your period any day, Aelin.»

Aelin stuck out her tongue in response, and for the first time in many, many days, Dorian laughed.

-

Manon opened the text from Asterin once more, reading the words.

Won’t make it to practice today:/ Talk when you get home?<3

Looking at it, she couldn’t t help but feel a little bad for how she’d acted earlier. They could discuss this in a civilized manner, hopefully coming to a solution that didn’t involve their grandmother in any way.

Manon shivered at the memory of a hand grabbing her cheek. She’d been right, it had bruised, and she’d had to wake up half an hour earlier today to cover it up with makeup.

A knot formed in her stomach. How could she think such things of her grandmother, who only wanted the best for her?

Surrounded by darkness, she made her way towards the house, the air cold around her. Fall had finally settled over their small town.

As she made the final steps towards the door, she wondered why the lights were off. Surely Asterin would be up, waiting for her?

Unable to shake off the feeling of unease, Manon carefully opened the door. «Asterin?» she called into the darkness.

Her bag landed on the floor with a thud, the sound echoing through the room.

«Do you have something you want to tell me?»

Manon jumped at the sound of her grandmother, turning on the lights to reveal her sitting in the living room.

Her heart started racing at the quiet rage coming from the woman. Her brows were slightly furrowed, eyes glowing with fury, her mouth forming a tight line. Judging by how calm she was, Manon knew she was pissed.

«N-no, grandmother,» Manon stammered, looking at her feet.

Her grandmother stood up, slowly making her way towards Manon. «Don’t. Fucking. Lie.» she spat, her voice shaking with anger.

The slap hit her before she had time to react, her cheek stinging at the contact. Manon could feel blood slowly starting to trickle, but she didn’t dare move, didn’t so much as breathe.

«How long have you known?» Manon still didn’t move, only stared at the wall in front of her, completely paralyzed. She must have found out…Manon had to find Asterin, had to make sure she was okay…

«HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?!»

Quickly shaking her head, Manon tried to think of a way to get her grandmother to calm down, tried to find the right words. «I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,» she breathed.

The sound of her grandmother’s cold laugh filled the empty house, followed by the sound of her palm against Manon’s other cheek. Her head jerked to the side, staying there.

Her grandmother leaned in close, and Manon closed her eyes as she felt a warm breath on her face. «I have done everything for the two of you,» she hissed, «and this is how you thank me?! Going behind my back, lying and deceiving. You should be glad you’re not on the street right now, like that whore of a cousin you have.» She made a face of disgust.

«I’m sorry,» Manon whispered, as her grandmother took a step back.

«Here is what’s going to happen,» the woman said. «From now on, if you make so much as a single mistake, I’ll kick you out. Your grades, your dancing, everything, will be perfect. Understand?»

Manon nodded, lowering her head.

«And that slut…She’s off the dance team, and if I hear you talk to her, so much as look at her, I’ll make you regret it. Am I being clear?»

Manon nodded again.

«AM I BEING CLEAR?!» Trying her best not to flinch at the raised voice, Manon managed to stammer, «Y-yes g-grandmother.»

Her grandmother clicked her tongue, shaking her head. «I truly thought you could be different from your mother, better. How wrong I was.»

The words stung almost as much as her cheeks.

«Now go to your room, I don’t think I can stomach looking at you anymore.»

«Yes grandmother,» she said obediently, hurrying down the hall.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Manon’s shaking body fell to the floor.

Around her, in her head, everywhere, it was going too fast, too much. The rush of blood, the way her lungs couldn’t get enough air no matter how hard she tried, the throbbing of her cheeks, the echoing of her grandmother’s disappointed words.

I truly thought you could be different from your mother, better. How wrong I was.

She had to be better, had to do better, had to-

Manon forced her breathing into an even rhythm. She had to stay focused from now on. No more distractions.

Manon didn’t notice how she’d stopped shaking, didn’t noticed the blood crusted on her cheek, didn’t notice the stillness of the world, didn’t notice how Abraxos placed his head in her lap, looking up at her with sad eyes.

She had no idea if minutes or hours or days had passed as she reached over to the headphones carelessly slung on the floor. Putting them on and pressing play, Manon drifted away to that distant place of hers, disappearing, dissolving. If only for a little while.

Lay me down

Let the only sound

Be the overflow

Pockets full of stone

-Florence + The Machine, What The Water Gave Me

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 42 - 43

I AM ACTUALLY SPEECHLESS HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Manon Blackbeak cracked open eyelids that were too heavy, too burning, and squinted against the flickering lantern light that swayed upon the wood panels of the room in which she lay.

HHHH I’VE BEEN DREADING THIS. Please kiss the Manon we know goodbye, because we’re likely gonna never see her again after this chapter.

[Manon] bolted upright. Abraxos. Where was Abraxos—

Unghhh their relationship is too pure and wholesome for this shitty novel. I seriously want Manon to leave this series and go to HTTYD, it’s what she deserves.

(...) the chains now around Manon’s wrists, around her ankles—anchored into the walls with what appeared to be freshly drilled holes.

FRESHLY DRILLED HOLES. What did they use to drill those holes? Don’t tell me they popped down to Home Depot and picked up a brand new screw gun I am l aughing

Alien is there and already I’m seeing red please SJM i am begging u keep Alien’s crusty ass 100000 miles away from Manon

[Aelin] jerked her chin toward the floor. A pitcher and cup lay there. “Water’s next to the bed. If you can reach it.”

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE YOU’RE GOING TO LET MANON DIE OF HYDRATION IF SHE CAN’T REACH THE WATER?? FUCK YOU, ALIEN, YOU MASSIVE PIECE OF SHIT.

And as it turns out, Manon can’t reach the water and passes out soon afterwards. Fuck Alien I can’t think of one character I hate more than her fucking selfish ass.

Even unconscious, Manon’s every breath, every twitch, was a reminder that she was a born predator, her agonizingly beautiful face a careful mask to lure the unwary to their doom.

idk this seems weird... Manon is passed out from pain but they’re all splooging over how hot and dangerous she is... idk...

They were nearing Banjali now—and Dorian had tried and failed not to think of his dead friend with every league closer to the lovely city. Tried and failed not to consider if Nehemia would have been with them on this very ship had things not gone so terribly wrong.

*sobs* I miss Nehemia.... she deserved so much better....

“Hello, witchling,” [Dorian] said. [Manon’s] full, sensuous mouth tightened slightly, either in a repressed grimace or smile, he couldn’t tell.

What the fuck is up with SJM making all her men horny for the women’s lips during situations that are in no way sexual?? Like Manon is a prisoner tied up and dying of hydration, why is Dorian thinking about her mouth this is so fucking weird

Dorian didn’t feel like mentioning that he’d been the one who’d jumped into the water [to save Manon]. He’d just … acted, as Manon had acted when she’d saved him in his tower. He owed her nothing less.

Ungh SJM is totally gonna make this a thing ain’t she. Like Dorian is just repaying her here but you know, you just know SJM is gonna use this for them to hook up.

Manon asks Dorian about Elide and the Thirteen and Dorian is like “who the hell are those guys” and Manon gets all sad and I’m :(((((

Whatever had happened, whatever [Manon] had endured … Dorian draped an arm along the back of his chair. “It’s coming in a few minutes. I’d hate for you to waste away into nothing. It’d be a shame to lose the most beautiful woman in the world so soon into her immortal, wicked life.”

Heh, that’s typical Dorian for you. Hey, maybe this ship won’t be so bad! Maybe they’ll become really good supportive friends who bond over all the trauma they went through and-

“I am not a woman,” was all [Manon] said. But hot temper laced those molten gold eyes. [Dorian] gave her an indolent shrug, perhaps only because she was indeed in chains, perhaps because, even though the death she radiated thrilled him, it did not strike a chord of fear. “Witch, woman … as long as the parts that matter are there, what difference does it make?”

WHAT

THE

ACTUAL

FUCK

SJM. ARE YOU EVEN FUCKING KIDDING ME. DO YOU KNOW TRANSGENDER PEOPLE EXIST?? THAT NOT ALL WOMEN HAVE VAGINAS??? ARE YOU FUCKING SAYING TRANS WOMEN ARE LESS OF WOMEN IF THEY DON’T HAVE BREASTS AND VAGINAS??? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT FUCKING LOOKS LIKE TO ME.

I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS IS IN AN EPIC FANTASY SERIES. SJM WROTE THIS, EDITORS EDITED IT, AND THEN IT WAS PUBLISHED, AND NOBODY THOUGHT “oh hey, the implications of this are reaaaally bad, let’s cut it”

DJFHSJDFHAFJ THIS IS SO BAD THIS IS REALLY REALLY BAD HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A BOOK WITH SHITTY PLOT AND WRITING AND CHARACTERS BUT NOW WE CAN ADD TRANSPHOBIA TO THE LIST THATS JUST GREAT.

Sorry about that little tangent but my jaw actually hung wide open when I read that line. Holy fucking shit this novel is going to put me in the ground six feet under.

Dorian offered a lazy grin in return. “Believe it or not, this ship has an unnatural number of attractive men and women on board. You’ll fit right in. And fit in with the cranky immortals, I suppose.”

I’m so heartbroken but... I have to disown my baby boy. Dorian was once one of my few favorite characters but SJM has killed him and replaced him with a transphobic asshole. I’m so sorry my baby boy, you flew too close to the sun. You are hereby demoted to Dorito.

Assdion rears his ugly ass head to be rude to Manon and kiss Alien’s ass before leaving. Bye bitch, hope you fall off the ship and drown.

“Then I suppose you and I are both heirs without crowns.”

Remember last time Alien said this and I defended Dorito, saying he deserved his crown? Oh, how I took those earlier chapters for granted......

The rest of the chapter is Manon angsting about all the shit she’s been through lately. Since I like Manon and she has reason to be upset, I don’t have anything to make snarks about so next chapter.

Lorcan was still wondering what the hell he was doing three days later

Oh fucking great, I just witnessed the murder of my son Dorian and now I gotta read in Lorcan’s POV? Just keep kicking me while I’m down why don’t you, SJM.

“It’s going to rain.” [Elide] slid a flat glance at him. “I do know what thunder means.”

Just fucking stop. This isn’t entertaining at all to watch two people bicker and made snarky remarks 100% of the time to one another and yet we’re supposed to believe they’re bonding I want to d ie

“Drink,” Elide commanded him. Lorcan debated telling her not to give him orders, but … he liked seeing this small, fine-boned creature in action.

What the fuck does that mean?? Fine boned?? Is that really a way people describe others???? What the fuck am I reading???

So Lorcan drank and watched [Elide] while she watched others. So many calculating thoughts beneath that pale face, so many lies ready to spill from those rosebud lips.

I’m so tired like. You guys have done nothing but argue and avoid each other and now Lorass is getting horny at the sight of Elide’s lips I’m so tired.

[Elide] was going to leave. Tomorrow, whenever the carnival rolled out. She’d likely hire one of these boats to take her northward, and [Lorcan] … he would go south. To Morath.

:(( the girl I emotionally abuse is going to leave after we both lied to one another :((( this is so sad can we get 100 likes

Elide talks to some people inside a tavern about Alien.

“Seems like the queen has a habit of showing up where she’s least expected, unleashing chaos, and vanishing again.

FINISH HER

Elide walked out of the third tavern, Lorcan on her heels. They hadn’t spoken once since she’d gone into that first inn. He’d been too lost in contemplating what it would be like to suddenly travel on his own again. To leave her … and never see her again.

I am utterly baffled you two have been nothing but assholes to each other!!! Like seriously you haven’t done anything nice for each other!!! Like wtf SJM is trying make us all :’((( about them splitting up but I can’t wait until this stupid subplot ends!

Elide reveals she can’t read to Lorass and he tries to compliment her, but...?

He wondered if he would have ever noticed if she hadn’t told him. “You seem to have survived rather impressively without it.”

I mean, good on him for not judging her, but like, she was locked up in a tower doing maid work? Reading skills really wouldn’t have made much of a difference there.

Turns out their carnival co workers ratted them out and sent guards after them. Lorass hauls Elide over his shoulder and makes a run for it.

“The gates at the city entrance,” [Elide] gasped as muscle and bone pummeled into her gut. “They’ll be there, too.”

Holy shit that sounds painful. She’s not a sack of potatoes Lorass, try some gentleness.

Lorcan pocketed the axe he’d thumbed free

You literally just took out your axe like two paragraphs ago on the same page. What was the point of this?

They find some rando and force him to get them the hell out of dodge on his boat. Elide hears a splash but doesn’t think anything of it until she sees Lorass again.

[Elide] glanced at the hatchet at [Lorcan’s] side as he strode out of the cabin. “You killed him, didn’t you?” That was what the splash had been. A body being dumped over the side.

So, just to recap, according to Lorass.... killing an innocent man who helped you escape the guards; completely justifiable. Stealing something you suspect is bad from a woman you don’t even like; evil, unacceptable, crossing a line. 

“He might have had a family depending on him.” [Elide]’d seen no wedding ring, but it didn’t mean anything.

I was about to get tilted but SJM corrected herself. I hate the mentality that if you don’t have a spouse, you clearly can’t have a family who depends on you. Kids from previous relationships, parents, grandparents, siblings, they’re family too y’know.

Lorass finds out the Wyrdkey he carried is a fake and loses his shit.

Then Lorcan flung open the door, so violently it nearly ripped off its hinges, and hurled what looked to be the shards of a broken amulet into the river. Or he tried to. Lorcan threw it hard enough that it cleared the river entirely and slammed into a tree, gouging out a chunk of wood.

I enjoy his misery tbh. Lorass is so pissy he reveals to Elide that Alien was Celaena, or as I like to call her Celery, at one point.

“You knew, and you didn’t tell me. Why?” “You still haven’t told me your secrets. I don’t see why I should tell all of mine, either.”

I mean, yeah, hate to agree with Lorass but fair enough. You’ve both done nothing but lie to each other’s faces, why would he tell you that? I want to like Elide but all this shitty drama and bickering is making my affection for her wear thin.

Then - holy fucking shit, there’s like a bunch of huuuuuuge paragraphs of Lorass and Elide bickering and they’re so fucking big. This hurts my eyes to look at. I’m gonna screencap one of them, just to show you how fucking huge they are.

HOLY SHIT SJM BREAK UP YOUR BIG ASS BRICKS OF TEXT PLEASE. My eyes started to cross trying to read this, it took me like three tries.

tl;dr because of some bullshit Lorass is staying with Elide because they both have business with Alien. Fuckin’ great, I love everyone’s agendas revolving around the main special snowflake, just fuckin’ great.

There’d been nothing inside the amulet but one of those rings—an utterly useless Wyrdstone ring, wrapped in a bit of parchment. And on it was written in a feminine scrawl: Here’s hoping you discover more creative terms than “bitch” to call me when you find this. With all my love, A.A.G.

Maybe I’d find this amusing if Alien wasn’t a walking shitstain, but... I’m tired. I’m so goddamn tired.

[Lorcan]’d kill [Aelin]. Slowly. Creatively.

Damn wish you would fam, but Alien’s got plot armor bigger than her fuckin’ ego. Lorass ends the chapter by saying he’ll kill Alien, which we all know won’t happen. I’m betting money that there’ll probably be a Lorass/Rowboat/Alien love triangle once Lorass sees what an ~uhmazing~ queen Alien is. Don’t give me that look, you know SJM would.