#doom vs missy

[awaitingarsooz]

5th of July! A Doctor in the House (part 1)

Welcome, Missy, to Doom’s Day.

[tea-earl-grey]

something i'm thinking about that's making me a little hesitant of the specials is that i very obviously see that they're trying to have Fourteen (still gritting my teeth when I say that) parallel Ten and fix some of Ten's mistakes. and yeah that's cool! the Tenth Doctor has the fascinating character arc that is really interesting to dissect and parallel. we've already seen The End of Time parallels with Donna & Rose saying that you need to let it go (vs Ten's "I don't want to go."). the glass wall in Meep's spaceship paralleling the radiation chamber with Wilf. Fourteen saying "Why does it have to be this?!" instead of "Why does it have to be me?!" and logically the best way to justify David Tennant coming back as the Doctor is to say this new mini-era is to fix the Tenth Doctor's mistakes and respond to that era of the show.

but my issue is that we already did that. the Twelfth Doctor's era is such a perfect response to Ten's. Ten often hid behind their whimsical charisma until it bubbled over (most notably in the Time Lord Victorious arc) but Twelve always had that brutal honesty and darkness and instead learned to embrace whimsy and kindness over time. Twelve was put in a similar position as Ten & Donna where they believed the only way for Clara to live is to erase her memory and Clara calls him out on that bullshit because she won't have her memories and her life stolen from her and instead the Doctor's memories are wiped. both Ten and Twelve's era have an immortal character (Jack & Ashildr/Me) and Jack is in love with the Doctor and pretty blatantly hero worships them whereas Ashildr does. not. like. the. Doctor. and challenges their views. Twelve and Missy managed to have the healthiest relationship that the Doctor and the Master ever had when uh. Ten & Simm!Master very much did not. Twelve managed to stay in one place on Darillium for 24 years and at St Luke's for at least 70 years while Ten constantly needed to move forward. Ten was the first Doctor to meet and remember River while Twelve was the last (onscreen at least). Ten agonized about sacrificing themself for Wilf, for one innocent because they believed they could have been so much more, and Twelve doesn't hesitate for one moment over laying down their life for a doomed village in The Doctor Falls. Ten's last words are "I don't want to go." and Twelve's last words are "Doctor, I let you go."

i'm not against Fourteen mending their past mistakes and i expect these parallels to continue but i really hope there's something more to Fourteen having their old face back because frankly i don't think we can parallel and dissect Ten's era any better than Twelve's era did.

[ablubluh]

ok. obviously im sending in gale for the character meme to start

General opinion/How much I care about them: dude i care him so much. i liked him a lot and then i saw people being nasty asses to him so naturally he became an absolute one hundred percent fave. also after the elminster conversation i had to stalk around my living room in circles swearing a lot.

A ship I love: gale and ME!!!!! but also i think that gale/astarion is very fun with their specific flavours of trauma/isolation.

A non-romantic relationship that I love: his "i'm smooth enough for the both of us" vs karlach's "i'll tell him i haven't read a book since secondary school to distract him from impending doom" is very fun i think they're delightful. and OBVIOUSLY his relationship with tara.

The NOTP: do i even need to say gale/mystra. but aside from past bad times, i can't think of any off the top of my head that wouldn't be crackships anyway?

My biggest headcanon about them: tummy.

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: i do rp more than fic but like. i love AUs. put this man in a modern college as a depressed professor post divorce from the dean. throw him over the fence into a heist situation where he's a hacker or something.

Something that makes me think of them: the song They Weren't There by Missy Higgins

[hayscodings]

my hand slipped

[allthehorrormovies]

A+1 - A blend of American Pie and Scream, but surprisingly better than that sounds. Outlining the plot would give away the twist, which tips its hand early on, yet ends in a gratifying manner. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Make love, not war.

Alien - A friend remarked how this film likely wouldn’t be made today. It’s shot too dark. It’s quiet, purposefully. There’s no action for much of the first half; more a study in isolated labor and worker exploitation. And there’s not a “star,” outside of teenage dreamboat Harry Dean Stanton. Actors like Sir Ian Holm Cuthbert were selected for their ability, not their stature within Hollywood, as production took place in London. As Robert Ebert said, “These are not adventurers, but workers.” We’re lucky it was made, supposedly, in part because the success of Star Wars pushed the studio to quickly release their own space movie. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Sigourney Weaver is the ultimate Final Girl.

Aliens - The deliberate, slow pace of Alien is replaced by James Cameron’s grandiose action, backed by four times the original budget. Like Terminator 2: Judgment Day, it’s amazing that both films avoid “the disease of more.” Cameron’s characters are too often weighed down by punch-line dialogue, but all the elements together somehow work. Ripley’s character begins to move past being a simple pilot and into a warrior woman, for better and worse. The studio originally tried to write her out of the sequel due to a contract dispute, but Cameron thankfully refused to make the film without her. There are people out there who prefer Aliens to Alien, and that’s fine. They are wrong, but that’s fine. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien³ - David Fincher has famously disowned his directorial debut, citing studio deadlines for its poor quality. Compared to the first two films, it certainly is a failure. Though gorier, the scenes with the digital alien look terrible upon re-viewing. The various writers and scripts, some potentially interesting—especially William Gibson’s version, and changing cinematographers and the insertion of Fincher late into production doomed the project from the start. All that said, the movie itself isn’t terrible—parts are even good, but what feels like a midway point in Ripley’s saga is ultimately her end, and that feels cheap. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien: Covenant - The maddening mistakes of Prometheus absent, this sequel is a tense, action-packed killer of a flick. Scott claims a third prequel is in the works that will tie everything back to Alien, which is . . . fine? It’s just that the first film was so great and everything else since then seems so unnecessary. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien Resurrection - The aliens look better than ever before, but Joss Whedon’s dialogue is simply annoying and the casting is horrible. Ripley has super powers and kills her large adult alien son. Winona Ryder decides crashing a space ship into Paris, killing untold millions, is the best way to get rid of the aliens for some reason. It’s fucking dumb and cost $70 million to make. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. In the special edition intro, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet says he didn’t change much in the re-release because he was proud of the theatrical version. Baffling. 

Amer - This Belgian-French film is a tribute to the Italian tradition of giallo, a stylized, thriller told in three sections that directors like Suspiria’s Dario Argento pioneered. Mostly wordless, there’s not much plot, more a series of moments in a women’s life revolving around terrifying, sexual moments that ends in murder and madness. There are some terrific scenes, but it’s more of an art piece than movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

An American Werewolf in London - Funny and scary all at once, setting the bar almost impossibly high for all that followed. Rick Baker's special effects catapult this movie into greatness. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Ebert was right, though; it doesn’t really have an ending. 

Annihilation - Perhaps more of a sci-fi thriller than a horror movie. But due to some terrifying monsters scenes, I’m going to include it. Apparently writer/director Alex Garland wrote the screenplay after reading the first book in Jeff VanderMeer’s Southern Reach trilogy, giving the movie a different overall plot. Garland’s sleek style that made Ex Machina so wonderful is replaced by “The Shimmer,” which gives the film a strange glow. The ending relies too much on digital special effects that looked more gruesome in earlier segments, detracting from its intended impact. Still, a few key scenes, especially the mutated bear, are downright terror-inducing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I first found the constant flashbacks unnecessary, but viewed as a refraction on Portman’s mind as well as her body make them more forgiving.

The Babadook - Creepy and nearly a perfect haunted horror movie, except for some final tense moments that too quickly try to switch to sentimental, which leaves their earnestness falling flat. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Dook. Dook. Dook.

The Babysitter (2017) - One of Netflix’s original movies, this one pays off in gore and borrows heavily from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World-style jokes. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Meh. It’s cheesy and cliché, but whaddaya gonna do?

Backcountry - Don’t be fooled thinking this is like Jaws “but with a bear,” as I did. Unsympathetic characters and zero tension make this movie a drag to watch. At the start, you think, “Who cares if these assholes get eaten by a bear? They wandered into bear country without a map.” By the end, you’re actively cheering for the bear to eat the boyfriend and only a little sympathetic for the lead character. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. To her credit, Missy Peregrym does a fine job of being a mostly lone protagonist.

Basket Case - Cult director Frank Henenlotter‘s debut starts as a creepy, bloody horror movie, but staggers after showing the monster too soon and then tries to fill time with unnecessary backstory and extended scenes of screams and blood that would have otherwise been eerily good if executed more subtly. Despite not being very good, it’s at least somewhat interesting and kind of impressive considering its low budget. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Battle Royal - I’m not convinced this is a horror movie, it’s more just a gory action flick. But hey, oh well. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun, but not as great as many people seem to believe.

The Beyond - Considered one of Lucio Fulci’s greatest films, it might be a bit disappointing to newcomers of his work. Certainly the style and impressive gore are at their highest, but the muddled plot and poor dubbing distract from the overall effect. Fabio Frizzi‘s score is, for the most part, a great addition, however, certain key moments have an almost circus-like tone, which dampens what should be fear-inducing scenes. It’s easy to see why some fans absolutely love this movie while some critics absolutely hate it. In the end, it’ll please hardcore horror fans, but likely bore others. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Beyond the Gates - Two estranged brothers are sucked into an all-too-real game of survival after finding a mysterious VHS board game following the disappearance of their father. The plot is fun and original, but the lead actors aren’t all that engaging and the special effects look rather outdated for a 2016 release. Still, it’s an enjoyable watch. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Black Christmas - A slasher that starts out with potential, but never gets all that scary or gory, though it’s well made. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Margot Kidder gets a kid drunk.

Black Sheep (2006) - A hilarious, gory take on zombie sheep. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Black Sunday - The Mask of Satan (aka Black Sunday) is totally my new superhero/metal band name. If you're a fan of older horror, this one is not-to-miss. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Vengeance, vampires, Satan worship, castles, curses, and a buxom heroine, this movie is pretty damn dark for a 1960's black & white film.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter - Scores points for a couple of horrific scenes and a fairly good switcheroo, but mostly too slowly paced to capture the viewer’s attention. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Emma Roberts continues her path to being the modern Scream Queen.

The Birds - Hithcock’s film was, by no means, the first horror movie. German, Japanese, and UK directors had explored witches, demons, and the classic monsters decades earlier. But, The Birds is a landmark film, like Psycho, for pioneering a new wave of modern horror. It was, perhaps, the first time female sexuality and ecological revenge had been combined to create an unsettling tale with an ambiguous ending. And the rather graphic scenes of found corpses, combined with a minimalist score, are nearly as shocking today as when the film was first released. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Braindead - It's Bill Pulman and Bill Paxton in a 1980s B-horror; what more do you need? Most people won't enjoy this campy fart of nonsense, but try pulling your TV outside and getting good and drunk. Anything's good then. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. “The universe is just a wet dream."

The Brood - No where near as polished as Scanners or Videodrome, but still a creepy, well-made film. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

A Bucket of Blood - This black & white 1959 film from Roger Corman is more dark comedy than horror, but it’s a absurdly fun critique of beatnik culture written by Corman’s partner on Little Shop of Horrors. Dick Miller gives a great performance, and with a run time of about an horror, the pacing feels relatively quick for an older film. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Byzantium - The tale of two British vampires who live like wandering gypsies, setting up a low-rent brothel in a seaside town despite being immortal badasses because the all-powerful, all-male secret vampire club is trying to kill them, because . . . no girls allowed? It’s unclear. The vampires are of the more modern type—they go out during the day and receive their curse from a geological location than from one another. Still, overall the movie is better than it has to be. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Cabin Fever - Eli Roth’s directorial debut isn’t awful, but it certain could have been better considering Roth credits Carpenter’s The Thing as its inspiration. The homophobic jokes date the movie more than the alt-rock soundtrack and the repetitive scenes reminding viewers of how the mysterious disease spreads (at apparently differing rates depending on the character) during the conclusion end up creating a weird kind of plot hole. To his credit, some of the nods to The Thing are OK. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever - That Ti West made this pseudo-campy and outright bad movie during the same period that he made The House of the Devil is perplexing. The style, pace, and subtly that make The House of the Devil an enjoyable film are nonexistent in this cash-grab sequel. West apparently hated the final cut and requested his name be removed from the project. That said, I kind of like this movie better than the original. I’ve always found Roth’s praise of his directorial debut to be odd, as it’s not very good. For what it’s worth, this movie isn’t trying to be anything other than what it is: a tasteless, bad horror movie. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Retcons the plot hole in the first movie, at least.

The Cabin in the Woods - As good of a spoof of the horror genre as one could hope. Stereotypical with an O'Henry twist at every turn, this movie is good for an afternoon viewing, much like Tucker & Dale vs Evil. Without giving much away, if you think about it, The Cabin In the Woods is like a weird PSA about how marijuana will destroy all of mankind. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun and gory with something for everyone.

Candyman - Decades later, it’s not as easy to see why Candyman was such a landmark movie. It’s a bit slow, stumbles in places, and some of the acting is only serviceable. However, the story itself (based on Clive Baker’s original) is—on paper at least—good. Critics at the time were rightfully hesitant to praise a movie simply for having a black villain, especially when his origin is based on racial violence, but Tony Todd’s portrayal is so terrifying it launches the character into one of the all time great horror monsters. Add in Philip Glass’s soundtrack and Candyman reigns among other classics without being a top contender. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Carrie - I saw this movie on TV a long time ago, but I had forgotten much of the film, especially the opening scene of slow motion nudity (aren't these girls supposed to be in high school?!). The remake of this movie is likely going to be bad, but the original is so good I'll probably go see it. What can be said? Pig's blood. Fire. Religious indoctrination. Sexual overtones. There's a reason Brain de Palma's version of Steven King's story became so culturally important. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. This movie holds up, even today. 

Carrie (2013) - Though nothing is glaringly bad, and the added back-story decently pulled off by Julian Moore as the mother, almost every scene is a shadow of the original. Which is unfortunate considering that the remake of Let The Right One In managed to find a somewhat more unique tone. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Largely unnecessary.

The Changeling - George C. Scott does a fine job as a mourning husband haunted by an unfamiliar spirit. Not the most exciting movie, but pretty decent. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. It might’ve ranked higher, but there are no half stars here.


Cheerleader Massacre - This movie looks like someone shot it in their backyard with an earl 90s handheld camcorder . . . in high school. This is just embarrassing, for me too. The actors seem to be exotic dancers or adult film stars, who haven’t been asked back for a shift in a while. Alright, I skipped through this because the quality was so low. At around minute 41 there's a bathtub scene with three naked women, which culminates in one licking chocolate sauce off each other’s breasts. Some people die. Two of the naked women survive, I think. The house they all go to in the beginning of the movie - a ski lodge, I guess - burns down, or doesn't. Whatever. 0 out of 5 pumpkins. Just watch actual porn.

Child’s Play - While only OK, I understand how this became a franchise. Melted Chucky is terrifying. The villain can hop from vessel to vessel, unfortunately through some kind of voodoo racist bullshit. The characters are shallow, but serviceable. For such a big budget movie, it’s weird that it ends so abruptly. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Children of the Corn - Damn, this movie is boring. Linda Hamilton does the World's Least Sexy Birthday Striptease. The characters are joking quite a bit having just run over a child, whose dead body is rattling around in the trunk. What was the casting call like for this movie? "Wanted: Ugly children. Must look illiterate." All in all, things turn out pretty good for our protagonists. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. For something that spurred at least five other movies, this was remarkably uninspiring. 

City of the Living Dead - The dialogue is awkward and the plot a bit convoluted, but the special effects hold up and the overall story is good. The first of Lucio Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy. Apparently when the movie was screened in L.A., Fulci was booed. 3 of 5 pumpkins. Poor Bob the Simple Pervert.

Climax - Gaspar Noé is known for making viewers feel as uncomfortable possible with his experimental style film making. Which is fine. But that discomfort rarely lands to move me outside the initial shock. Climax is, surprisingly, more like a Suspiria remake than the actual 2018 remake. That, however, doesn’t make it good. The really shocking moments aren’t all that shocking and the cultural commentary isn’t very deep. It’s not a bad movie, it’s just, well, unnecessary. The dance scenes are extraordinary, so at least it’s got that going for it. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Color Out of Space - An enjoyable, albiet uneven, film that does a lot with little. A head-trip type of home invasion movie that pulls you in. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Conjuring - It’s easy to see why so many people love this movie. It’s well-acted, it has jump-out-of-your-seat scares, and incorporates several classic fear elements. Considering the mediocre, at best, tiredly worn horror movies that slump to torture porn for shock value coming out recently, The Conjuring stands above its peers. Still, there’s nothing original about the movie. 3 out 5 pumpkins. 

The Conjuring 2 - Billed as more shocking than the original, this sequel likely lands better in theaters with it’s jump-cut scares and action flick sequences. On the home screen, however, the overly dramatic elements are too far flung to seem like a haunting based on true events. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. 

Creep (2014) - Nails the P.O.V. angle without going too far down the overly-used “found footage.” Mark Duplass is terrifying and without his ability to carry the film, the entire concept could have easily fallen flat. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Creep 2 - Mark Duplass pleasantly surprises with a sequel that, while not as *ahem* creepy as the first, builds out the world of his serial killer in a manner that is engaging and ends with the potential for more. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Crimes of Passion - Technically it’s an “erotic thriller,” but given Ken Russell in the director’s chair and Anthony Perkins as the villain, I’m adding it to this list. Unfortunately, it’s not a great film. Kathleen Turner surpasses over acting in some scenes, and the rest of the cast is pretty forgettable. If the plot revolved around Perkins’s character, it might have been more of a horror flick. Instead revolves around loveless marriage and the fucked up issues of sexuality in America, attempting to say . . . something, but never really making a point. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Russell has got an obsession with death dildos. I don’t know what to do with that information. Just an observation.

Crimson Peak - Guillermo del Toro is a complicated director. He’s created some truly remarkable films, but has also created some borderline camp. Crimson Peak splits the difference, much in the same way Pacific Rim does. If you’re a deep fan of a particular genre, in this case Victorian-era romance, then the movie can be an enjoyable addition to the category with its own voice. If you’re not, then the movie’s more eye-roll-inducing moments are less a nod to fandom and more of an uninvited addition to what could be a straight forward film. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Beautiful, but lacking.

Cronos - This del Toro film is a must-see for any fan of his current work. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Even if you're not usually a fan of foreign films, you'll likely appreciate this modern take on the vampire mythology.

Dagon - To be honest, I feel like I should watch this one again. It’s a bit of a jumbled mess, but there are some wacky, gory moments at the end. Similar in tone and style to Dead and Buried. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Seriously, like the last 20 minutes cram so much plot it’s just a series of wtf moments until hitting incest and then nothing really matters.

Darling - Well shot in beautiful black and white with an excellence score, Darling really should receive a better score. However, it fails to be more than the sum of its parts. Borrowing liberally from Kubrick’s one-point perspective and Polanski’s Repulsion in nearly every other way, the film is decent, but fumbles in deciding whether to convince the audience of a clear plot, leaving viewers with closure, yet unsatisfied. Still, worth viewing. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Daughters of Darkness - A Belgian/French erotic vampire film that isn’t as erotic or vampiric as one might hope. Still, legend Delphine Seyrig shines so brightly, it’s catapults are relatively boring film into near greatness. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Dawn of the Dead - The best zombie movie ever made. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Day of the Dead - George A. Romero’s end to a near-perfect trilogy isn’t as good as its predecessors, but it’s gorier and somehow more depressing, even with the ending. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Dead and Burried - Starts with a bang, but lags in the middle. The ending tries too hard to surprise you, yet, by the time it’s over you kind of don’t care. Surprisingly well acted and good, creepy tale. Might not be everyone’s bag, but if you’re a tried-and-true horror fan, you’ll enjoy the movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: The movie was written by Dan O’Bannon, famed for writing Alien. O’Bannon worked with John Carpenter on a short in film school, quit being a computer animator on Star Wars to be a screenwriter, and became broke and homeless after attaching himself to Jodorowsky’s doomed Dune. He later went on to direct The Return of The Living Dead and write Total Recall. 

Dead Snow - A Nazi zombie bites off a dude's dick. Do you really need any other details? 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Germans be crazy.

Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead - Not as good as its predecessor, but still fun. Plus, more children die. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Why all the gay jokes, though?

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats - OK, my first nit-pick is that the bed doesn’t eat people so much as it dissolves people. But it still makes chewing sounds? Whatever. A bizarre concept that swings for seriousness and utterly fails due to its lack of plot and extremely low budget. Kinda of weird, but ultimately pretty boring. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

Death Spa - Hilariously bad. Super 80s. I can’t say this is a good film, but I would recommend watching it for the kitsch value. What if a ghost haunted a gym? Instant money maker. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: the project came about due to shepherding from Walter Shenson, who got rich producing A Hard Day’s Night and Help!, and the lead actor, who plays a gym manager, was an actual gym manager in L.A. at the time.

Deathgasm - Imagine if Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was about a New Zealand metal band and not as good, but still pretty OK. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Deep Red (aka Profondo Rosso, aka The Hatchet Murders) - Dario Argento’s 1975 film is more polished than 1977′s Suspiria, which is a bit surprising. However, that doesn’t necessarily make it a better film. Where Suspirira’s fever dream colors and superior soundtrack, also by Goblin, shines, Deep Red doesn’t quite land. The camera work here is better, though, as is much of acting. But there’s a lot of let downs, such as the opening psychic bowing out and never really coming up again, the boorish male lead and oddly timed humor, and the final reveal, which is anti-climatic. Still, an overall great horror movie. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Def by Tempation - I really enjoyed this film, despite it not being the most skillful directed or the most incredible script. The plot is compelling, the jokes are pretty funny, and the angles and lighting are really well done despite the limited budget. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Admittedly, Kadeem Hardison nostalgia helps.

Demons - Multiple people recommended this to me, and I can see why considering the Dario Argento connection. Unfortunately, the premise is more exciting than the execution. Poorly acted and poorly dubbed, the gore doesn’t do enough to hold one’s attention. There’s a scene where a guy rides around on a dirt bike killing demons with a samurai sword. At least that happens. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Is the ticket-taker in on it? She works in the demon theater, right? So, why is she being hunted? Also, where the fuck did the helicopter come from?

The Descent - Some of Earth’s hottest, most fit women embark on a spelunking adventure with a recently traumatized friend. Aside from a couple of lazy devices that put the team in greater peril than necessary, the movie quickly and cleverly puts the cavers into a horrifying survival scenario that few others in the genre have matched. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Without giving too much away, be sure you get the original, unrated cut before watching this flick.

The Devil’s Backbone - Though del Toro’s debut, Cronos, is more original and imaginative, this is much more honed. Not necessarily frightening, but tense and dreadful through out, laying open the horror war inflicts on all it touches. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Devil’s Candy - More of a serial killer thriller than a horror, but the supernatural elements raise this movie to better-than-average heights. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. The real lesson is this movie is that cops won’t save you, ONLY METAL CAN SAVE YOU!

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - The biggest upside to this movie is that it was produced by Guillermo del Toro. The biggest downside is that it's not directed by Guillermo del Toro. Still, the director gets credit for making a child the main character; never an easy task. To the little girl's credit, she's a better actor than Katie Holmes, no surprise, and Guy Pierce. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. With a bit more gore and stylistic pauses, this could have been a 4. This movie proves why killing kids is more fun than kids who kill, and also that every male protagonist in every horror movie is dumb dick.

Don’t Look Now - Well-acted and interesting, Nicolas Roeg’s adaptation is a high-water mark of the 1970s premier horror. The only real complaint is that the ending—while good and obviously ties it all together—is nonsensical. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Donald Sutherland fucks.

Event Horizon - “This ship is fucked.” “Fuck this ship!” “Where we’re going, we don’t need eyes to see.” These are quotes from, and also the plot of, Event Horizon. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. The most disturbing part of the whole production might be Sam Neil’s attempt to be a sexual icon.

The Evil Dead - Though The Shining is the best horror movie ever made, The Evil Dead is my favorite. Funny, creepy, well-shot on a shoestring budget, it's the foundation for most modern horror flicks, more so than Night of the Living Dead in some fashions. See it immediately, if you haven't. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Bruce fuckin' Campbell.

Evil Dead (2013) - Not entirely bad, and even takes the original plot in more realistic places, like the character having to detox. But is that what we really need? The fun of the original is its low budget, odd humor, and DIY grit. I guess if you really want a “darker” version, it’s this. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Better than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, about as good as the Carrie remake, I guess.

Evil Dead II - I have to respect Sam Raimi because it’s like he got more budget and did everything possible to try and make this movie suck just as a fuck you to the studio. All the creepy parts of the original are over-the-top, there’s zero character development—just faces on a stage, and it’s seemingly a crash-grab to set up Army of Darkness more than anything else. That said, it’s kind of boring outside of a couple gory scenes. It’s fun, but not that funny. It’s scary, but more gauche than anything. An exercise in excess, yet a decent one somehow. My biggest complaint is that Evil Dead is great with Bruce Campbell, but would have been good with almost anyone; whereas Evil Dead II is only good because it’s Bruce Campbell. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark - This movie is nothing but puns and tit jokes. But clever ones! Pretty okay with that. Or maybe it's a statement on third-wave feminism in spoof form? Probably not. At one point an old people orgy breaks out at a small town morality picnic, but it's a PG-13 movie so it doesn't get very fun. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Boooooooooobs.

Elvira's Haunted Hills - A pretty disappointing follow-up to what was a fun, 1980s romp. Instead of poking fun at uptight Protestants, Elvira’s just kind of a dick to her servant. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Even the boob jokes are flat.

The Endless - More sci-fi than horror, and not the most deftly produced, still an original concept that’s pulled off well. 3 out 5 pumpkins. Maybe this should get a higher ranking. It’s good! Not exactly scary, but good.

Equinox - Decided to give another older Criterion Collection film a try. Though there are some clever tricks in the movie, especially for its time -- like an extended cave scene that's just a black screen -- the poor sound, monsters that look children's toys, and general bad acting drag this movie down to nothing but background noise that's easy to ignore. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Whatever contributions this movie may have made to the industry, its not worth your time unless studying for a film class.

Excision - Less of an outright horror movie and more of a disturbing tale of a young necrophiliac, the film tries its best to summon the agnst of being a teen, but falls short of better takes, like Teeth. Still, pretty good. Traci Lords is great and John Waters plays a priest. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Exorcist - The slow pace and attention to character backstory is more moving than the shocking scenes you've no doubt heard about, even if you haven't seen the film. The pacing is slow compared to most movies today, but the drawn out scenes, like in Rosemary's Baby, help convey the sense of dread. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Believe.

Eyes Without a Face - One of the more remarkable things about this French 1960′s near-masterpiece is how carefully it walked the line between gore and taboo topics in order to pass European standards. The villain isn’t exactly sympathetic, but carries at least some humanity, giving the story a more realistic, and therefore more frightening quality. The only, only thing that holds this film back is the carnivalesque soundtrack that could have been foreboding. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. A must watch for any horror fan.

The Fly - Cronenberg's fan-favorite film is delightful, though it’s not as great as Scanners or Videodrome, in my humble opinion. Jeff Goldblum is, of course, terrific. If you haven’t seen it, see it! 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Where’d he get the monkey, though? Seems like it’d be hard to just order a monkey. The 80s were wild, man.

The Fog - A rare miss for John Carpenter’s earlier work. There’s nothing outright wrong or bad about this movie, but it’s not particularly scary and the plot is rather slow. That said, it’s soundly directed. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. If you’re a Carpenter fan, it’s still worth watching.

Forbidden World - Another Roger Corman cult classic, this one made immediately after the much larger budget Galaxy of Terror, mostly because Corman had spent so much on the first set (designed by James Cameron) and thought of a way to make another low-budget flick with a much smaller cast and recycled footage from Battle Beyond the Stars. Even more of a complete rip-off of Alien, with some Star Wars and 2001: A Space Odyssey bit sprinkled in. Perhaps because it’s far less serious and revels in its pulp, it’s somehow better than Galaxy of Terror, which is more ambitious—you know, for a Corman b-movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. No worm sex scene, though.

Frankenhooker - Frank Henenlotter‘s 1990 black comedy is over-the-top in almost every way, perhaps best encapsulated by the introduction of Super Crack that makes sex workers, and one hamster, explode. But with a title like Frankenhooker, you get what you expect. Hell, it even manages to sneak in an argument for legalizing prostitution. If you’re a fan of zany, exploitation in the vein of Re-Animator, you’ll enjoy it. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Friday the 13th - Terrifically balanced between campy and creepy, with a soundtrack that’s twice as good as it needs to be. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching every year.

The Frighteners - Michael J. Fox, everyone! Robert Zemeckis & Peter Jackson - ugh. It didn't even take 20 minutes for the racial stereotypes to kick in. Unlike the trope of youth in most horror movies, everyone in this movie looks old. Holy shit, did anyone else remember Frank Busey was in this movie? Michael J. Fox is a bad driver in this movie. He was also in a car accident that gave him supernatural sense. Jokes. Apparently they tried to make it look like this movie was shot in the Midwestern United States, but it was filmed in New Zealand. It's clearly a coastal or water based mountain town, in like dozens of shots. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Cheesy without being completely campy, it's also family friendly. If this were any other genre, this would likely be a two.

From Beyond - Stewart Gordon’s follow-up to Re-Animator isn’t as fun, even with some impressively gory special effects. Viewers are throw into a story with little regard for character, which doesn’t really matter, but is still a bit of a left down when you find yourself wondering how a BDSM-inclined psychiatrist builds a bomb from scratch. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. It’ll stimulate your pineal gland!

Funny Games (2007) - A fairly straightforward home invasion horror achieves greatness thanks to Michael Haneke‘s apt directing and powerful performances by Naomi Watts and Michael Pitt. Like with Psycho, some of the most horrifying parts are what comes after. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The fourth wall breaking is an odd touch, but thankfully and surprisingly doesn’t distract.

The Fury - Brian De Palma’s follow-up to Carrie is a major let down. Despite a fairly charismatic Kirk Douglas and score by John Williams, the two-hour run time drags and drags. Attempting to combine horror and an action-thriller, the film waffles between genres without ever rising above either. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s not explicitly bad; just a bore to watch.

Galaxy of Terror - Roger Corman produced this movie as was to try and capitalize off the success of Alien, but even with that shallow motivation it’s better than it needed to be. Staring Erin Moran of Happy Days fame and celebrated actor Ray Walston, Galaxy of Terror has an uneven cast, made all the more puzzling by Sid Haig. Though “the worm sex scene” is likely the reason it achieved cult status, James Cameron’s production is top-notch and was clearly the foundation for his work on Aliens. The ending even hints at the future of Annihilation. Does all this make it a good movie? Not really, but it’s not terrible either. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Get Out - A marvelous debut for Jordan Peele, who—given his comedy background—was able to land some downright chilling moments alongside some mostly well-timed jokes. Unfortunately, not all of them as well timed, especially the drop-in moments with the lead character’s TSA buddy. Peele originally had the film end less optimistically, but wanted audiences to ultimately walk away feeling good. Maybe not the most artistic choice, but certainly the smart one given the film’s acclaim. It’s easy to see why Get Out has cemented itself alongside The Stepford Wives as a smart, “in these times” commentary about society, but it’s also just a really well-paced, well-shot, well-acted film. With two other horror projects immediately set, it’ll be exciting to see just how much Peele will add to the genre. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. America’s worst movie critic, Armond White, said Get Out was “an Obama movie for Tarantino fans” as if that was a bad thing. Idiot.

Ginger Snaps - A delightfully playful but still painful reminder of what it was like being a teenager while still being a gore-fest. A must for anyone who was emo. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Out by sixteen or dead on the scene.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night - An almost flawless picture. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus: nearly everyone in this movie is insanely hot.

Green Room - Surviving a white supremacist rally in the Pacific Northwest is no joke. The region is the unfortunate home to violently racist gangs, clinging to the last shreds of ignorant hate. Though fading, some of the movements mentioned in the movie, like the SHARPs, are grounded in recent history. Mainly a gory survival-flick, the movie sneaks in some surprisingly tone-appropriate humor. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. No one’s island band should be Misfits.

A Ghost Story (2017) - Yes, this isn’t a horror. It’s a drama. Don’t care; including it anyway. It’s unnerving in the way that it makes you consider your own mortality and the lives of the people who you’ve touched, and how all of that won’t last as long as an unfeeling piece of furniture or the wreckage of home soon forgot. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Ghostbusters (1984) - “It’s true. This man has no dick.” 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Halloween (1978) - One of the best openings of any horror film. John Carpenter is a genius. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Halloween (2018) - Eh. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hardware - A very unhelpful Marine brings home some post-apocalyptic trash that tries to kill him and his girlfriend, who could absolutely do better than him. Horribly shot and nonsensical, it doesn’t push the boundaries of filth or gore its cult fans adore. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Do not recommend.

The Haunting (1963) - Not exactly the scariest of movies, but damn well made and just dripping with gay undertones. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Theo is queen femme daddy and we are all here for it.

Haunting on Fraternity Row - The acting is surprisingly decent, but the supernatural elements don’t even start until halfway into the movie, which begins as a sort of handheld, POV style conceit and then abandons all pretense of that set up. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Not at all scary, but maybe it will make you nostalgic for frat parties, cocaine, and failed threesomes. So.

The Haunting of Julia - Apparently parents in 1970s Britain didn't receive proper Hymlic maneuver treatment, which perhaps made for an epidemic of dead children. As promising as that premise might be, an hour into this movie and there hasn't been any actual haunting. There's a stylish gay best friend (he owns a furniture store) and a dumb dick of an ex-husband, a scene of library research, mistaken visions, etc. All the standards are here, except for the haunting parts. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Well shot but absolutely boring, this is more about a woman's struggle with depression than a horror flick.

Head Count - A great premises that falters in key moments, making the sum of its parts less than its promising potential. For example, there’s no reason to show a CGI monster when you’ve already established its a shape-shifter, the scariest part is that they could be anybody! 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II - I really dislike this movie, not because it’s especially bad, but because it’s a lazy continuation of the first film. Yes, there are a couple of scenes that are squeamishly good, but it spends too much time rehashing the plot of the first and then ending in some grandiose other dimension that has not real impact. Part of the terrifying elements of the first is that the horror is confined to one room in one house. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. It really only gets this many pumpkins because of the mattress scene.

Hellraiser - Truly the stuff nightmares are made of. It’s easy to see why this film became a cult-classic and continues to horrify audiences. That said, the plot is a bit simplistic. Not that the plot is the heart of the film; the objective is for viewers to experience squeamish body mutilation and overall dread, and in that regard it truly delivers. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hereditary - Toni Collette is a treasure in this dramatic horror about family and loss. Though the truly terrifying bits take too long to ramp up, resulting in a jumbled conclusion, the film is engrossing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hocus Pocus - Admittedly, this movie isn’t very good. But its nostalgic charm and constant virgin jokes earns it a higher ranking that it deserves. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. “Max likes your yabbos. In fact, he loves them.”

Honeymoon - Often described as a modern twist on Rosemary’s Baby, this debut from promising director Leigh Janiak takes its time before getting truly creepy. Though there are some gruesome moments, the tense feeling is bound to the two leads, who are able to keep a lingering sense of dread alive without much else to play off. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Host - I was skeptical of this Korean movie based on the sub-par visual affects, but the script, actors, and cinematography were all much better than expected. A genre-bender, as my friend who recommended it described, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll cringe. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. If you're a fan of movies like Slither, you'll love this movie.

Hot Fuzz - Second in Three Flavours Cornetto and probably the worst, but still a great movie that gets better on repeat viewing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

House - A part of the Critereon Collection, this 1977 Japanese movie is a trip and a half that follows the untimely demise of some school girls going to visit their friend's aunt, who turns out to be a witch who eats unwed women. One of the girls is named Kung-Fu and spiritually kicks a demon cat painting until blood pours out everywhere. I guess this is kind of a spoiler, but the movie is such a madcap, magna-influenced experiment there's nothing that can really ruin the experience. Like most anime, this movie also ends with an unnecessary song that drags on for far too long. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. I guess this movie influenced a lot of future work, which make sense. Still, most people would consider this a 1 as it's nearly impossible to follow.

The House at the End of the Street - I only decided to watch this movie because Jennifer Lawrence is in it. This isn't even a real horror movie. It's a serial killer movie with a few thriller moments. My standards are low at this point. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. It's a PG-13 movie, so instead of outright showing you some boobs there's just long, awkwardly placed frames of Jennifer Lawrence in a white tank-top. Oh, America.

The House of the Devil - Though an on-the-nose homage to 70s satanic slow-burns, this Ti West feature moves at a decent pace toward the slasher-like ending, making it better than most of movies it pays tribute to. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. 

The House on Sorority Row - A cookie-cutter college slasher that ends abruptly for no real reason considering how long it sets up its premise. Nothing awful, but nothing original. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Housebound - A fun, Kiwi flick that nicely balances a bit of horror with humor with a strong performance by Morgana O'Reilly. Though the plot takes a couple unnecessary twits towards the end, the gore kicks up and leaves you with a satisfying ending. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Howling - Released the same year as American Werewolf in London, this movie isn’t very good, but it is entertaining. Apparently audiences and critics thought it was funny. Maybe because it makes fun of that Big Sur lifestyle? I dunno. Dick Miller is the best thing in this movie, outside of the special effects. No idea why it spawned several follow ups. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Honestly, why not just lean into The Gift and join The Colony—nice surroundings, sultry nympho, regeneration ability. Some people can’t appreciate nice things.

Humanoids from the Deep - A cult favorite from the Roger Corman camp that borrows heavily from Creature from the Black Lagoon and a bit from Jaws. Initially very well done by director Barbara Peeters, but ultimately released much to her distaste. Peeters shot grisly murder scenes of the men, but used off camera and shadows to show the creatures raping the women. Corman and the editor didn’t think there was enough campy nudity. So they tapped Jimmy T. Murakami and second unit director James Sbardellati to reshoot those scenes, unknown to the cast, and then spliced the more exploitative elements back in for the final version, including a shower scene where it’s abundantly clear a new, more busty actress stands in for actual character. It’s unfortunate Peeters’ creation was essentially stolen from her, as it could have been a more respected film. I mean, how many horror flicks could weave in the economic struggle of small town bigots against a young native man trying save salmon populations? That said, the cut we got is pervy romp that’s still a boat-load of b-movie fun. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. James Horner on the score.

The Hunger - First off, David fucking Bowie. Not to be outdone, Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve are absolute knock-outs. Horror stories are often rooted in the erotic, often the unknown or shameful aspects of ingrained morality manifested in the grotesque and deadly. When done positively and well, it can be a powerful device. It’s a shame more recent horror movies don’t move beyond the teen-to-college-year characters for their sexual icons, too often used as sacrificial lambs, because mature sexuality can be far more haunting. As we age our connections to the meaning of love grow deeper and more complex; immorality does not offer the same luster. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Damn impressive for a first major film. Fun fact: Tony Scott wanted to adapt Interview with the Vampire, but MGM gave him The Hunger instead. It bombed and he went back to making commercials. Then Jerry Bruckheimer got him to direct Top Gun, which made $350M.

Hush - Though the masked stranger, home invasion plot is well-worn, this movies provides just enough shifts to keep things interesting and frightening. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Watch out, Hot John!

I Am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House - With only an hour and a half run time, this film still drags. Part of that is deliberate. The foundation of the film is its atmosphere and the lingering uneasiness that it wishes audiences to dwell in. But by the end, you’re left with nothing more than a simple, sad story. It’s similar to the feeling of overpaying for a nice-looking appetizer and never getting a full meal. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Initiation - This movie has every 80s hour cliché necessary: minimalist synth soundtrack, naked co-eds, looming POV shots, hunky Graduate professor, escaped psychiatric patients, prophecy nightmares, and creepy a child. Yes, everything but actual horror. An hour into the horror movie and only one person has died. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There is no point to this movie, unless you're a huge fan of the princess in Space Balls.

The Innkeepers - The second of Ti West’s two well-received horror originals before he set out for TV and found-footage anthologies, The Innkeepers may not get as much love as The House of the Devil, but should. The dual-leads (Sara Paxton and Pat Healy) are more fun to watch than Jocelin Donahue‘s performance and the tone more even-set throughout the film. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Innocents - Reportedly Martin Scorsese’s favorite horror movie, it’s easy to see how big of an impact it had on the genre (especially The Others) with sweeping camera angles, slow but still haunting pace, and remarkable sound design. Perhaps it’s not as well-received by modern viewers, but it’s no doubt a classic. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Intruder (1989) - An enjoyable slasher flick from long-time Sam Raimi collaborator Scott Spiegel that takes places in a grocery store after hours that doesn’t try to do too much or take itself too seriously and features some over-the-top gore. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. “I’m just crazy about this store!”

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) - A terrific example of how to build paranoid fear. That its political allegory can be interpreted on both sides of McCarthyism makes it all the better. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Original ending, ftw.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) - A rare remake that’s almost as good as the original. Terrific use of San Fransisco as a setting, Goldblum Goldblum’ing it up, solid pacing—great film! 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Plus, nudity!

The Invitation - More of a tense drama until the final moments, this film deserves praise for holding viewers’ attention for so long before the horror tipping point. Further details could spoil the story, but like many tales in the genre the lesson here is always trust your gut. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Ugh, Californians.

It (2017) - Stephen King’s nearly 1,200 page 1986 national bestseller captures the attention of readers for a number of reason: it’s coming-of-age story is horrific even without supernatural elements, it’s cast of characters resemble classic American archetypes from many of King’s other works, and its adaptation into a four hour mini-series staring Tim Curry as Pennywise in 1990 has haunted the imaginations of children for decades. Unfortunately, like the mini-series, the movie fails to deliver the long, unsettling moments that make the novel so thrilling. King’s story is a cocaine-fueled disaster that throws everything and the kitchen sink at viewers when compressed onto the screen. The truly terrifying elements of the book lose their impact when delivered one after another without time to feel personally connected to each character. The genius of It is the paranormal evil’s ability to hone in on a person’s darkest fears. Without deep empathy for all of The Losers, the individualized psychological torture is muted when reduced to jump-cuts. For what it’s worth, the film does its best with a jumble of sub-plots and the Pennywise origin story, but as the tone bounces from wide shots of small town Maine and the painful trauma of abuse to titled zooms of CGI monsters and an over-the-top soundtrack, something is lost. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Publishing office, 1985: “So, wait. The kids fuck?” the editor asks, disgusted. King vacuums another white rail into his nasal cavity. “Huh?! Oh. Yeah, sure. I guess. Does that happen? Jesus, I’m so fucked up right now. What day is it? What were you saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s like, love is the opposite of fear, bridge to adulthood or something. Do you have any booze around here?”

It Comes At Night - More utterly depressing than terrifying and a reminder that the greatest horror we’ll likely ever face is simply the limits of our own humanity. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

It Follows - An uncomfortable and honest take on how sexuality is intertwined with the horror myth. One for the ages. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The real terror is HPV. 

Jaws - A masterpiece that’s too easily remembered for its cultural impact than artist merit. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. R.I.P. Chrissie Watkins, you were a free spirit as wild as the wind.

The Killing of a Sacred Deer - Yorgos Lanthimos‘s follow up to The Lobster isn’t as well done, but the wide shots, odd lines, and increasingly bizzare build-up are all present. The finale is near perfect, but takes a bit too long to reach. I’d really like to give this film a higher score, but alas: 3 out of 5 pumpkins. There’s nothing wrong, yet something is missing.

Kiss of the Damned - There are handful of potential interesting scenes and the internal drama of a vampire family is a potentially the foundation for a good film. Despite this, Xan Cassavetes’s film never manages to actually be all that interesting. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There’s nothing terrible here, but also nothing remarkable.

Knock Knock - Two hotties do my man Keanu dirty. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Eli Roth is a better actor than director.

The Lair of the White Worm - A campy demon flick from Altered States director Ken Russell. Staring Hugh Grant, Peter Capaldi, and Amanda Donohoe, the plot is loosely based on Bram Stroker’s last novel, which has a few similarities to H. P. Lovecraft's novella The Shadow Over Innsmouth, which was made into the Spanish film Dagon. Very British all around, a bit like Hot Fuzz meets Clue, this could have been played straight and potentially been scary, but Russell didn’t intend to be serious. A topless snake demon wearing a death strap-on to sacrafice a virgin can’t be taken as *cinema* after all. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Not great film by any stretch, but pretty fun!

Lake Mungo - Presented as a made-for-TV type of mystery documentary, this could have really turned out poorly. Despite some unnecessary plot additions, this movie really stuck with me. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Sadder than you might expect.

The Langoliers - Balki Bartokomous is the villain in this made-for-TV special. He is terrible and the rest of the cast is packed with 90s no-name actors and a child actor that might as well be the blind version of a kid Liz Lemon. You know how Stephen King writes himself into every. single. story? In this case it's not even as a plot device, it's just a character to fill space like an obvious oracle. In the book, the character tearing paper is a subtle, unsettling mannerism you assume happens quietly in the background, but because television writers treat their audiences like distracted five year-olds, this action becomes a reoccurring focus with no point or context. One of the best parts about the book was imagining the wide, empty space of the Denver airport. Of course, shutting down an entire airport would be expensive, so most of the interactions take place in a single terminal, which is just as boring as being stuck at the airport yourself. Two 1994-era Windows screen savers eat Balki at the end, then, like, all of reality, maaaaaaaan. The more I think about it, this story might have been the unconscious basis for a strong Salvia freak out I once had. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Dear male, white writers, we all know that no one actually fucks writers in real life - that's why you're all so angry. Stop creating these protagonists equipped with impossible pussy-magnets. Stop. Staaaaaaaahp.

The Last House of the Left - Wes Craven’s debut isn’t much of a horror, but a revenge tale that contains no build up or sense of dread, but an immediate and unrelenting assault of its characters and the audience. It’s well-made, and the rape revenge tale is older than Titus Andronicus, but that doesn’t mean it’s something worth viewing. There’s no joy; it’s Pink Flamingos without the camp. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. No doubt impactful, but really best viewed as a piece of history with a critical eye and not for entertainment.

The Legend of Hell House - A well made haunted house film that holds up forty years later. Pamela Franklin, playing a medium, carries much of the movie. Her foil, the physicist, is a strange character. He apparently believes people, and even dead bodies, can manifest surreal, electromagnetic energies, but not in “surviving personalities.” Yet, he still orders this giant “reverse energy” machine to “drain” the house of its evil before they even set out to research house. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Dangerous diner parties, the insatiable Mrs. Barret, mirrored ceilings and kick ass Satan statues everywhere - this house seems pretty great, actually.

The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires - A blast to watch, but not truly great. Unfortunately, I’ve only seen the edited version (The 7 Brothers Meet Dracula) that mixes up the beginning for no real reason and wonder how much better the original cut might be. Still, vampires! Kung Fu! Peter Cushing! 3 out of 5 pumpkins.


Let the Right One In - Beautiful and terribly haunting. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Likely the best horror movie this generation will get.

Let Me In - Surprising good. Unnecessary, yes. But still good. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: I once watched an *ahem* found copy of Matt Reeves‘s Dawn of the Planet of the Apes without the ape subtitles and thought it was a brave choice to make the audience sympathize with the common humanity among our species. I was also pretty high.

Life After Beth - Jeff Baena‘s horror comedy features a terrific Aubrey Plaza, but Dane DeHaan’s character leaves a lot to be desired. It seems like the film is trying to save something about life, love, and family, but never finds its voice. A fine, funny movie to watch on a rainy afternoon. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Lifeforce - Directed by Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and written by Dan O'Bannon (Alien) is a film the suffers from “the disease of more.” The entire concept of space vampires is rad as hell, but a $25 million budget and a 70 mm production couldn’t save what ends up being a boring trod and a jumbled ending that somehow makes major city destruction tiring. Though, to be fair, this was well before Independence Day. Colin Wilson, author of the original source material, said it was the worst movie he has ever seen. I wouldn’t go that far, but during a special 70 mm screening, the theater host chastised the audience in advance to not make fun of the movie during the showing because it was “a great film.” Reader, it is not. But Mathilda May looks real good naked and there are a couple cool, gory shots. So, there’s that. I guess. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Patrick Stewart is in this for all of like 10 minutes, but is still listed as a main character.

The Lighthouse - From The Witch’s Robert Eggers, this film is objectively a great work of art. Brooding, stark, and compelling performances from Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson—all the elements add up into a unique and disturbing experience. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. All that said, in the same way I consider Death Spa a 2 pumpkin movie you should see, this is a 4 pumpkin movie you could probably skip. It’s not entertaining in the traditional sense, and likely not one you’d want to really ever see again. The Eggers brothers made something weirdly niche and it’s fine if it stays that way.

Little Evil - A serviceable comedy that isn’t all that scary or even gory, which is a disappointment considering Eli Craig’s Tucker & Dale vs. Evil was so good. There are a few nods to famous horror movies that make a handful of scene enjoyable, but otherwise it’s purely background material. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Little Monsters - A Hulu original that’s pretty fun, if ultimately standing on the shoulders of giants like George A. Romero and Edgar Wright. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

A Lizard in a Woman's Skin - Lucio Fulci’s erotic mystery starts out with groovy sex parties and hallucinations, but quickly gets dull in the middle with extended scenes of psychological assessment, only to wind up where we all started. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Lodge - A good exercise in isolation horror that, while a bit slow, ratchets up the tension and horror with each act. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Damn kids.

The Lost Boys - A fun, campy 80s vampire flick you’ve likely heard of or even seen. I get why it’s cemented in popular culture, but at the end of the day it’s a Joel Schumacher film with a silly plot. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Love Witch - Somewhere between earnest satire and homage, The Love Witch is a well-crafted throwback to 1960s schlock. Weaving in contemporary gender critique, the film is more than just a rehash of its sexual fore-bearers. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Mandy (2018) - Like watching a bad trip from afar, Beyond the Black Rainbow director Panos Cosmatos (son of the Tombstone director) pulls off a trippy, dreadful film that starts out with story that follows logic and consequence before giving over to the full weirdness of Nicholas Cage’s uniquely unhinged style of acting. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Jóhann Jóhannsson’s score is superb.

Midsommar - Though not as good as Aster’s Hereditary, Midsommar sticks with you longer. Eerie throughout and disturbing, but not frightening in the traditional sense, it’s no surprise this film seems to split viewers into devoted fans and downright haters. Florence Pugh’s performance is wonderful and the scenes of drugged-out dread are far better than what was attempted in Climax. Some critics have called the film muddled and shallow, and certainly the “Ugly American” character fits in the later, but I found it to be a remarkably clear vision compared to the jumbled ending of Hereditary. That said, it’s not a scary movie, it’s simply unnerving. Should a male director and writer be the one to tell this tale? Probably not. But it’s not wholly unredemptive. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I first gave this film 3 pumpkins, but the more I think about it, the more it lingers. That counts for something. One more pumpkin to be exact.

Mimic - Without del Toro’s name attached, perhaps this movie wouldn’t be judged so harshly. Yet, though the shadowy, lingering shots he’s know for give a real sense of darkness to the picture, it’s a chore to sit through and is especially frustrating toward the end. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Mist - Watch the black and white version, which adds an ol’ timey feel to this Lovecraftian tale from Steven King and makes always-outdated CGI a bit more palpable. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Monster (2016) - From The Strangers Bryan Bertino, this monster movie that ties in a trouble mother/daughter relationship doesn’t ever overcome its limitations and poor character decisions that get protagonists in deeper trouble. Zoe Kazan does what she can to carry the role. Not bad, but not much below the surface. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Monsters (2010) - A slow-burn that relies on its actors to push the suspense of a road-trip-style plot, leaving the special effects for subtle and beautiful moments. Arguably more of a sci-fi thriller than a true horror flick, it’s still worth viewing if you’re looking for something spooky. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

mother! - Like many of Aronosky’s films, mother! is difficult to define by genre. Though not a typical haunted house film, the bloody, unsettling aspects make it more than a typical psychological thriller. Haunting in a similar fashion of Black Swan, yet broader in theme like The Fountain, this movie is challenging, disturbing and frustrating in the sense that, as a mere viewer, you’re left feeling like there’s something you’ll never fully understand despite being beaten over the head. An not-so-subtle allegory about love, death, creation, mankind, god, and the brutality women must endure, it’s a hideous reminder that, upon even the briefest reflection, life’s cosmic journey is macabre. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Ms. 45 - Ahead of its time, especially considering the unfortunate “rape revenge” sub-genre that seemed to cater to male fantasy than female empowerment. Still, it’s slow build and random scenes toward the finale leave it wanting. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Oh, the knife is a dick. I get it. 

Murder Party - A bit like Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, but for New York art kids. Even for being a horror comedy, there’s only like 20 minutes of horror, which is too bad as there’s material to mine instead of a prolonged rooftop chase scene. If this was a studio production, it’d probably just get 2 pumpkins, but given it’s $200k budget and at-the-time unknown cast, it’s a solid first feature for Jeremy Saulnier and Macon Blair, who went on to make some truly great films. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

National Lampoon’s Class Reunion - Flat out awful; neither a comedy nor a horror. Writer John Hughes claims he was fired from production, though that doesn’t hold much water considering he’s credited as “Girl with bag on head” and went on to write several other Lampoon movies. Director Michael Miller didn’t make another feature film for almost thirty years, which wasn’t long enough. 0 out of 5 pumpkins.

Near Dark - Kathryn Bigelow‘s sophomore film is hampered by its ultimate ending, but the story is original and well produced. Even Bill Paxton’s over-the-top performance is enjoyable. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worst. Vampire. Ever.

The Neon Demon - A spiritual successor to Suspiria, this film from Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn is beautifully shot, but ultimately empty. While both Jena Malone and Keanu Reeves breathe life into their small roles, the cast of models rarely shine. The horrific ending goes a step too far without lingering long enough to truly shock. Though much better than the extremely similar Starry Eyes, it’s difficult to give this film a higher rating. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching for a couple standout scenes. 

Night of the Living Dead - Viewed today the film seems almost tame, but in 1968 it was lambasted for being too gorey and sparked calls for censorship. And to its credit, there wasn’t anything else like it at the time. Romero’s incredibly small budget, Duane Jones‘s great performance, and the film’s unintended symbolism make its success all the more impressive. Kudos to MoMA and The Film Foundation for restoring this important piece of cinema history. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I argue this is a sci-fi film, if you think about it.

A Night to Dismember (The "Lost" Version) - This version appeared on YouTube in the summer of 2018, decades after it was originally filmed. The version that was released in 1989 on VHS, and later in 2001 on DVD, was entirely re-shot with adult film actress Samantha Fox after a disgruntled processing employee destroyed the original negatives. The re-shoot gave the released version of movie its “sexplotation” vibe that director Doris Wishman was know for producing, but he original version is more of a straight-forward psychotic slasher movie with only a scene of campy nudity and stars Diana Cummings, instead of Fox. Gone is the striptease, sex hallucinations, detective character, and asylum plot that were slapped together in the released version, leaving a still somewhat jumbled story of a young woman who goes on a killing spree after becoming possessed by her dead mother, who died in pregnancy, leaving her an orphan. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Poor Mary. Poor Vicki.

Nightmare on Elm Street - Why this movie sparked a generations-long series is almost as puzzling as how Children of the Corn pulled it off as well. The movie flat out ignores basic storytelling devices. Recalling the overall plot, you’re not even sure if the main character is better off alive or dead, given the horrifying reality she already exists within. Consider this: Her father is an authoritarian cop leading the world’s worse police force and her mother is a drunk, possessive vigilante arsonist. University doctors are so inept they focus solely on Colonial-era medicine to the point of ignoring a metaphysical phenomenon, believing teenage girls are attention-starved enough to smuggle hats embroidered with a dead child-killer’s name inside their vaginas to a sleep deprivation study. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. So much for the classics. At least this gave us the future gift of inspiring Home Alone-style defense antics.

Not of This Earth (1988) - This film, and I mean that artistically, was made because the director, Jim Wynorskin, bet he could remake the original on the same inflation-adjusted budget and schedule as the 1957 version by Roger Corman. Traci Lords makes her non-adult film debut and is a better actor than the rest of the cast combined. The gem isn’t so bad it’s good, it’s so godawful it’s incredible. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I was looking for the trashiest horror movie on Netflix, and I believe I have found it.

One Cut of the Dead - Know as little as possible going into this one. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s impossible to not enjoy this film.

One Dark Night - Starts out interesting, but quickly gets forgetable even with the central location of a haunted cemetery. Worth putting on the background. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Aaaaaadddaaaammmm Weeeeessssst.

The Others - Well-paced, nicely shot, superior acting by Nicole Kidman, ominous tone through out, great ending. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. One of my personal favorites.

Pan's Labyrinth - del Torro’s best work, combining the tinges of war dread and the fantastical elements that would go on to be a key part of his other films. Pale Man is one of the creepiest monsters to ever be captured on screen. Perhaps the biggest horror is that though you’ll cheer for the anarchists, the historical fact is that the Nationalists won and established a dictatorship for nearly forty years. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. No god, no country, no master.

The People Under the Stairs - When the main character of a horror movie would be better placed in a zany after-school sitcom, the entire story is bound to fail. Little did I know how far. Twin Peaks actors aside, the rest of the this movie is so convoluted and poorly explained that it made me hate Panic Room somewhat less. They can't all be winners. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. At the end of this movie, a house explodes and money rains down on poor, mostly black people. Thanks, Wes Craven!

Pet Sematary (2019) - Uninspiring, uneven, and mostly uneventful. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

Poltergeist - If you haven't seen this Steven Speilberg produced & written, but not directed horror movie, it's worth a modern viewing. Original, yet tinged with all the classic elements of fear, this movie manages to tug on the heartstrings like a family-friendly drama while still being creepy as hell. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The best, most expensive Holiday Inn commercial ever made.

Pontypool - Good, but not as great as hyped. Characters are introduced haphazardly and the explanation for the horror barely tries to make sense. Still, not bad for a movie with essentially three characters stuck in a single location. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Possession (1981) - Described by some die-hard horror fans as a “must see,” I guess I agree. It’s by no means a masterpiece, but it’s bizarre enough to take the time to check out. It’s a sort of Cold War psychological horror as if written by Clive Barker and directed by David Cronenberg. Of course that comparison is necessary for American readers, but Polish director Andrzej Żuławski is an art-house favorite, whose second film was banned by his home government, causing him to move to France. Often panned for “over acting,” Isabelle Adjani actually won best actress at Cannes in 1981. Though, you may find one particular scene as if Shelley Duvall is having a bad acid trip. Part of the appeal of seeing this film is the difficulty in finding a copy. The DVD is out of print, and the new Mondo Blu-ray is limited to 2,000 copies at $70 a piece. Good luck. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. If you’re looking for something weird and very European, seek it out.

Prometheus - Perhaps because Ridley Scott’s return the franchise was expected to be such a welcome refresher after the abysmal failures of others in the series, this one was a pretty big let down. Though there are some cool concepts and frightening scenes, there are anger-inducing plot mistakes and zero sympathetic characters. Michael Fassbender’s performance is terrific, yet not enjoy to be an enjoyable view. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Psycho - Not as great at The Birds, but still one of the best. The superb shots, painfully slow clean up of the first kill, it’s no wonder why the film is landmark for horror. Anthony Perkins is tremendous. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Remember when Gus Van Sant remade this shot-for-shot for literally no reason and lost $30 million? It’s like he has to make one really terrible bomb after each critical hit and then crawl back again.

Pumpkinhead - The production quality of this 80s horror flick is surprisingly high, especially the Henson-like monster. Long story short - asshole dude bro accidentally kills hick kid, hick father calls up demon to seek revenge. All in all, not a bad movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Given the title, the monster's head in this movie is shockingly not very pumpkin-like. Boo.

A Quiet Place - John Krasinski gets a lot of credit for playing a well-intentioned father, which is an easier bridge to his well-known character from The Office, rather than a military member, like in many of his other projects. Emily Blunt is wonderful as is Millicent Simmonds. The creatures are scary, reminiscent of The Demogorgon in Stranger Things, and the plot is decent, even without much of an ending. I’ll be honest, I didn’t really want to enjoy this film as much as I did. It seemed too “mainstream.” And, it is. But it’s also a well-executed, well-acted, well-produced product, which is much more difficult to pull off than it sounds. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth recommending to friends who aren’t even horror fans.

Rabid - No where near the level of Cronenberg’s best or even his subsequent film The Brood, but still very good. Apparently Cronenberg wanted Sissy Spacek to play the lead, but was shot down by the producers. Obviously Marilyn Chambers was selected to play up the porn star angle in the hopes of greater marketing for the indie, horror film out of Canada, but she does a great job in her first mainstream role. If you like any Cronenberg has done, you should watch this one. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Raw - A terrific coming-of-age, sexual-awakening, body-horror film that manages to retain its heart even as it pushes the limits. One of the best horror movies of the last decade. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Nom-nom.

Re-Animator - Creepy actor Jeffrey Combs is also in The Frighteners, which makes it a good nod in that flick. "Say hello to these, Michael!" When you see it, you'll get it. What can be said of this movie? It's crazy. It's great. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Gory, campy, funny and scary all at once, a definite classic.

Ready or Not - I wouldn’t go so far as to call this movie “clever,” but it’s certainly better than its absurd premise. Samara Weaving’s performance is really the only thing that keeps people watching. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Killing all the attractive help is played off as a joke, but . . . it’s not? At least rich people die.

Repulsion - After having to listen to her sister being drilled by some limey prick night after night in their shared apartment and a series of unwanted street advances triggers her past trauma, a young woman rightfully kills a stalker turned home intruder and her rapist landlord. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Return of The Living Dead  - This movie doesn’t give a wink and nod to horror tropes, it reaches out of the fourth wall to slap you in the face to create new ones. There’s an entire character that is just naked the whole movie. I understand that just because it’s a joke it doesn’t mean it’s not still sexist. But, also, you know, boobs. 4 out 5 pumpkins. What was created as camp became the foundation for modern zombies.

Return of the Living Dead III - A love story of sorts that takes a more series turn than the original. At first, I didn’t enjoy the uneven balance of camp and earnestness, but it oddly grows on you. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching to see what you think.

The Ritual - A Netflix original that is better than it needs to be about regret, trauma, and fear that gets right into the action and wraps fairly satisfying. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Rosemary's Baby - If you're looking for a sure party killer this October, put on this number and watch your guests fall asleep! Often forgot, the beginning and end of Rosemary's Baby are terrifying, expertly filmed scenes of dread, but the middle is a two-hour wink to the film's conclusion revolving around an expectant mother. Still, few other films can capture fear the way Polanski's does; all the more impressive that it stands up today. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. If you haven't seen this film, you owe it to yourself to watch it this season.

Scanners - Cronenberg’s 1981 film feels like a much more successful version of what De Palma attempted with The Fury. Dark, paranoid, and ultra-gory in key scenes, Scanners isn’t quite the perfect sci-fi horror, but it’s damn close. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Scream - For a movie that birthed an annoying amount of sequels and spoofs, it's sort of sad that Wes Craven's meta-parody ended up creating a culture of the very movies he was trying to rail against. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching again, even if you saw it last year.

Sea Fever - A good, but not great, tense thriller on sea. Plus, an important lesson in quarantine. Ultimately, it doesn’t go far enough to present its horror. A well-made, and even well-paced film with a limited cast and sparse special effects, though. There’s nothing explicitly “wrong” as the movie progresses, but a tighter script and bigger ratcheting of the horror could have made it a classic. The ending is kinda cheesy the more I think about it. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Could’ve used a sex scene with some impending doom is all I’m saying!

The Sentinel - I really wanted to love this one. Downstairs lesbians! Birthday parties for cats! Late 70s New York! Alas, its shaky plot and just baffling lack of appropriate cues make it mostly a jumbled mess only worth watching if that slow-burn 70s horror aesthetic is your thing. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Shallows - Mostly a vehicle for Blake Lively’s launch from TV to the big screen, this movies isn’t particularly good or bad. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. The shark has a powerful vendetta against Lively. What did she do?!

Shaun of the Dead - First in Three Flavours Cornetto, some of the jokes don’t land as well as they did in 2004, but still a great spin on the zombie genre with loads of laughs and a bit of heart. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Shining - The pinnacle of the form. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. "So why don't you start now and get the fuck outta here!" Harsh, but come on, Wendy kinda sucks.

Shivers - Cronenberg’s 1975 shocker flick is . . . fine. You certainly get to see how some of his body horror themes started. Cronenberg himself seems to see it as more of a film to watch to understand what not to do as a young director. If you’re a completist, definitely check it out. Otherwise just skip to 1977′s Rabid, if you’re looking for Cronenberg’s earlier work. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Not bad considering it was shot in two weeks.

Silent Night, Deadly Night - Whoo, boy. This one’s a ride. A decidedly anti-PC flick that caused calls for boycotts when it was first released, this movie is full of assault and uncomfortable situations. It’s also hilarious, gory, and worth watching in a large group. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Punish.

Sleepaway Camp - I must be missing something, because like Children of the Corn, I can’t understand why this movie became a cult-classic. A guy who openly talks about wanting to rape children is gruesomely maimed, so there’s that? I guess. A couple of these “kids” are definitely 34, while others are 14. Is this the basis for Wet Hot American Summer? I don’t know or care. 2 out 5 pumpkins. Just watch Friday the 13th.

Slither - Almost on the level of other spoofs, but with a few groan-worthy moments. Definitely one to watch if looking for something fun. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Not for the bug fearing.

The Slumber Party Massacre - Rita Mae Brown wrote this movie as a parody of the slasher genre that spawned so many Halloween copycats. It’s a bit unfortunate that we didn’t get her version. Author of pioneering lesbian novel Rubyfruit Jungle, Brown’s script was turned into a more straight-forward flick, giving the movie some baffling humor, like when one of the girls decides to eat the pizza from the dead delivery boy, and some untended humor, like the Sylvester Stallone issue of Playgirl. Lesbians undertones still prevail, as do lingering shots of gratuitous nudity, and enough phallic symbolism to write a paper about. All in all, a fun, albeit uneven movie with pretty decent dialogue. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: Director Amy Holden Jones got her start as an assistant on Taxi Driver, passed on editing E.T. after Roger Corman offered to finance early filming for her directorial debut, and later went on to write Mystic Pizza, Beethoven, Indecent Proposal, and The Relic. Bonus fact: Playgirl was able to get nude photos of Stallone based on his first movie The Party at Kitty and Stud’s (aka The Italian Stallion), for which Stallone was reportedly paid $200 to star in during a period in his life when he was desperate and sleeping in a New York bus station.

The Slumber Party Massacre II - If the first movie was a knock-off of Halloween, this is a bizarre rip-off of The Nightmare on Elm Street with a rockabilly twist. It’s hard to tell if this is a parody or a sort of musical vehicle for the Driller Killer, who—to his credit—is somehow almost charismatic enough to it pull off. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Somehow the weirdest movie I’ve ever watched.

The Slumber Party Massacre III - A return to form, in some respects. All the elements of the original are there: a slumber party, gratuitous nudity, a drill. But the driller killer’s poor-man’s Patrick Bateman character quickly becomes tired. Not terrible for a slasher flick, but not very good either. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. How many lamps to the head can Ken take? 

Species - If I asked you to name a movie staring Sir Benjamin Kingsley, Alfred Molina, Forest Whitaker and Michelle Williams, would you guess Species? No, no you fucking wouldn't. We all know Species, but I, like most, erased it from my memory. This was helpful for two reasons: first because for about the first half of the movie, you think there might be a decent flick happening - baring some obvious flaws of a blockbuster. Second because - holy shit - you get to see a ton of naked breasts in this movie, like way more than I remember. Unfortunately, about halfway through Species someone must have come in and realized having the B-squad Scully & Mulder be one step behind every instinct killing was boring as shit, and flashing tits every 20 mins wasn't going to hack it. Whatever Hollywood dickbag crafted this turd failed to realize the casting of the actor forever known as Bud from Kill Bill is the only white, macho-postering character that morons want to root for. And so we get a squint-faced protagonist getting blow jobs from a coworker scientist and an ending dumber than the boob tentacles he should have been strangled with. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There are worse horror movies, but there are also much better ones.

Starry Eyes - A thinly-veiled critique on Hollywood’s abusive history with actresses, the movie starts out well, but lags in the third act before a gruesome finale. Sort of a low-rent Mulholland Drive. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Watch out for that barbell, Ashley. 

The Stuff - Odd, mostly because of its uneven tone. Like if The Blob, The Live, and Canadian Bacon raised a baby and that disappointed its parents, like all babies eventually do. There are some good horror and comedic moments, but none of which make it great. The sound editing is remarkably bad, and the poor cuts make no sense given its scope. Oh well. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Suspiria - More of a focus on set, sound, and color than characters, Suspiria is reminiscent of the Japanese classic House, but with a more straightforward story. The Italian director, English language, and German setting make for an interesting, offbeat feel that adds to the overall weirdness of the movie. One cringe worthy scene in particular makes up for its immediate lack of logic, and the soundtrack by Goblin stands up on its own. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Sexist note: there’s a shocking lack of boobs given the subject matter.

Suspiria (2018) - Another in a long line of unnecessary remakes, though technically more of an homage. Luca Guadagnino’s version was supposedly developed for years alongside Tilda Swinton, who plays three different characters. Truthfully, without any attachment to the original, this could have been a muddled, but remarkable film. Thom Yorke’s score is perfect in certain scenes, yet detracting in others. The plot is similar in this manner. Some scenes are haunting and dense, but others needlessly detailed. The dance scenes are terrific, but weighed down by the larger war themes. The ending’s gore-fest is hampered by too much CGI, but still demonically fun. Fans of the original won’t find the weird, colorful elements to love, but it’s a good movie, albeit thirty minutes too long. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Taking of Deborah Logan - Good premise; found footage in the vein of Blair Witch Project of a demon possession disguised as Alzheimer’s disease. But, the movie can’t decide if it wants to stick to its foundation of a student documentary or veer into the studio-style editing and affects of theatrical release. Which is unfortunate as the former would have made it stand-out among a pack of mediocre ghost stories, while the later distracts from the setting it seeks to establish. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Teeth - A movie about the myth of vagina dentata could have been absolutely deplorable, but with the bar so low, Teeth does a pretty good job. Jess Weixler is a functional actress, not necessarily stand-out, but certainly far better than the role requires. Trying to tightrope walk between comedy and horror is never a task a creator should set out upon without a clear vision. Unfortunately, this one seems a bit blurry. One its release, Boston Globe said the movie “runs on a kind of angry distrust toward boys.” Not bad advice. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Terrifier - Do you want to see a naked woman hung upside down and sawed from gash to forehead? Then this is the movie for you. That’s it. There’s not much else here. Gino Cafarelli is good as the pizza guy. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. The clown is scary, though.

The Terror - A classic haunted throwback from Roger Corman, but without the nudity and gore his later work is infamous for. A young Jack Nicholson proves he was always kind of a prick. Boris Karloff does his best. The plot is pretty boring, but it’s a decent movie that you might stumble upon on a lazy afternoon on cable TV. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Tobe Hooper’s 1974 persuasive argument for vegetarianism is just as terrifying today as it was when it was released. Just as Halloween launched a thousand imitators, the hues and low angles in this film set the standard for horror for years and, unfortunately, laid the groundwork for more exploitative movies offered referred to as “torture porn.” Though gory, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s sense of weird dread is established well before the chainsaw rips, and though many have tried to follow in its footsteps, none have captured the lighting that adds to the overall queasy moments of the film. There’s a kind of simplistic beauty to such unexplained brutality, and perhaps because it was first, all others since haven’t seemed as artistically valuable. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. So, umm, what do you think happened to the Black Maria truck driver?

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) - The only decent carry over from this remake is John Larroquette as the narrator. Over-washed tones, over-the-top gore and unsympathetic characters make this film more than unnecessary, placing among the worst horror remakes of all time. Robert Ebert gave it one of his rare 0 stars, reserved for works he found genuinely appalling such as I Spit On Your Grave, The Human Centipede 2, and most infamously John Waters’s Pink Flamingos. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

They Live - “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… And I'm all out of bubblegum." 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Thing - Trying to give this film an honest review is almost impossible. Cast out on its release for being too bizarre and gory, Carpenter’s nihilist tale has since come to be seen as a masterpiece for its special effects, bleak tone, and lasting impact on other creators. Is it perfect? No, but it’s damn close. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. MacReady’s assimilated. Deal with it.

Train to Busan - A bit too predictable, but a solid, well-paced zombie action flick that’s smarter than most American blockbusters from Korean director Yeon Sang-ho, who is better known for his semi-autobiographical animated features. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - I really didn't expect much out of this movie, but it's actually really, really funny and a really gory spoof. Not quite on the scale of The Cabin in the Woods, but still pretty damn great. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. If you don't think people getting hacked up by a chainsaw in certain contexts can be funny, then this probably ain't your bag.

Twins of Evil - An enjoyable, somewhat smutty vampire movie from the famous British studio Hammer Films, staring Peter Cushing and Playboy Playmates the Collinson twins. Directed by John Hough, who also directed The Legend of Hell House, the film doesn’t break any new ground and is loaded with over-acting, but it’s well-paced, wonderfully set, and generally fun to watch, where the Puritan witchfinders are just as horrible as the vampires. Not as great as Black Sunday, but still worth viewing. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Let Joachim speak, you racists.

Under the Skin - Mesmerizing and haunting. The less you know going into this film the better. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Quite possibly Scarlett Johansson’s best work.

Under the Silver Lake - Technically a “comedic neo-noir,” whatever the fuck that means; in any case David Robert Mitchell (It Follows) tries to do too much over too long of a run time. Andrew Garfield gives a decent performance, especially considering he’s in almost every frame of the film. But the edge-of-subtly that made It Follows so modern and terrifying is replaced by a silk, wandering, and heavy-handed stroll through the powerful Los Angeles entertainment Illuminati. Certainly there’s material there, but instead of being a radical stab at the very real institutions of pop-culture that treat young women as nothing more than disposable meat, we drift in and out of a young man’s lust that revels in objectification without the sleazy charm of exploitation flicks or the critical eye of outright satire. Even the eerily presence of the Owl Woman can’t level-up what is an exercise in arrested development for hipsters. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Despite this negative review, Mitchell still has plenty of potential to make another great film. Whether he deserves that chance is different question.

Us - Jordan Peele’s second film is even better than his great debut. Us isn’t perfect, but hints at what Peele could create in the future. Unnecessary explanation and slightly oddly timed humor are present, like in Get Out, but more restrained. Peele’s talent for making modern horror accessible to the widest audience is laudable. Still, I can’t wait to see what he makes two or three films down the road. I suspect more than one could come close to equaling that of Kubrik’s The Shinning. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. 

Vampire’s Kiss - Is it a horror? Is it a comedy? Is it a parody? Drama? This movie truly defies genre due to the inexplicable acting choices made by Nicholas Cage. His odd affectation doesn’t change from sentence to sentence, but word to word. It’s like he’s trying to play three different characters across three different acts all at once. Is it good? Not really. But, I mean, see it. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Vampyros Lesbos - After vigorous encouragement from my academic colleagues, I decided to watch this 1971 Spanish-German film for, umm, science. Shot in Turkey and staring the tragic Soledad Miranda, Jesús Franco’s softcore horror jumps right into full-frontal nudity and attempts a sort of story involving Count Dracula that moves forward through uninteresting monologues and shaky camera work. It’s not awful, but there’s no reason to watch it. If it was playing in the background at a dive bar, it might have a tinge of charm. Other than some close moments of near-unapologetic queer sex, despite being created almost entirely for the male gaze, it’s just another in the pile of European exploitation. Still, it’s fun to daydream about Istanbul being ruled by a dark-haired demonic lesbian; beats the hell out of what we have in our reality. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: The soundtrack found renewed fame in 1990′s Britain, causing it to finally find distribution into America.

The Vault - A serviceable, but ultimately boring horror take on a bank heist that tries to hard to end with a twist. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

V/H/S - Every review I've seen for this movie is generally positive, but that only reaffirms my belief that most people are easily pleased by unintelligent, unoriginal bullshit. A Blair Witch-style story-within-a-story collection of shorts, I couldn't get past the first borderline date-rape, little-girl, sexually confused, monster story. Fuck this trope. Fuck this movie. The much delayed glorification of grisly murder of the offending male villains is hardly radical and only further supports the stereotypes of patriarchy much as it attempts to subvert a worn genre. 0 out of 5 pumpkins. I hate the world.

Videodrome - Cronenberg’s best film. James Woods’s best role; it’s a shame that he’s total piece of shit in real life. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Long live the new flesh.

The Wailing - Despite clocking in at over two and half hours, this part zombie/part demon horror movie from Korean director Na Hong-jin isn’t a slow burn, but rather an intriguing maze of twists and turns as the main character (and audience) struggles to find the truth about a mysterious, murderous diseases sweeping through a small village. Actor Do-won Kwak gives an especially captivating performance. Though the ending packs a powerful punch, the overlapping lies and half-truths told over the course of the film makes it a bit difficult to suss out the evil roots. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

We Are Still Here - What sets out as a slowly paced ghost story turns into something of a gore-fest towards the ends, which doesn’t make it bad so much out of place. 3 out fo 5 pumpkins. Could’ve been a contender.

We Are What We Are - A remake of Jorge Michel Grau’s 2010 film, the American version takes its time getting to the horror before going a step too far at the end. Still, the ever-present knowledge that you’re watching a cannibal film makes some of predictable moments all-the-more horrifying. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare - The novel charm of Craven’s meta Freddy saga has worn with age. Heather Langernkamp is passable, but not enough to carry the film and Robert Englund out of makeup shatters the pure evil illusion of his character. Interesting to see some of the ideas that would later synthesize in Scream, but otherwise kind of a bore. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Witch: A New-England Folktale - A deeply unsettling period-piece that reflects on American religion and its violent fear of feminine power. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Trust no goat.

The Witches - Roald Dahl’s story is ultimately crushed by a changed ending, however, Nicolas Roeg‘s adaptation up to that point is a fun, creepy movie people of any age can enjoy. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s really a shame the original ending was changed.

Wolfcop - When a movie’s title promises so much, maybe it’s not fair to judge. But there’s so much campy potential in a werewolf cop picture that it’s kind of a bummer to see it executed at level that makes you wonder if it wasn’t made by high school kids whose favorite movie is Super Troopers. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. God, the movie’s horrible.

The World’s End - The final chapter in the Three Flavours Cornetto and the best, showcasing a wealth of talent at the top of their game. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

XX - Admittedly, I don’t care much for the recent spring of short horror anthologies. Rarely do they have enough time to build the necessary suspense horror movies require. Still, two of the shorts are OK, one is pretty good, and one is bad. So, not a total loss. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

You’re Next - Home-invasion horror as never been my cup of hippie tea as it feeds into the 2nd Amendment hero fantasy of American males. That said, this dark-comedy take on it isn't bad. Some things don’t really add up. For example: Are you telling me that the deep woods home of a former defense corporation employee doesn’t have a single gun stashed somewhere? Bullshit. Anyway, who doesn’t want to see a rich family’s bickering dinner interrupted by a gang of psycho killers? 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus rating: 6 out of 10 would fuck in front of their dead mother. (Sorry, mom.)

Zombeavers - No one would say this is a good movie, but it also doesn’t take itself too seriously. Not at funny as Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, and certainly more formulaic, this one’s only worth watching if you’re bored. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Zombi 2 - Lucio Fulci’s unofficial sequel to Dawn of the Dead is one of his best films. But even though Fulci crafted some of the best zombies to ever appear on screen—filmed in the bright, Caribbean sun, the film suffers, as most of his do, from some unnecessary, borderline confusing plot points and poor dubbing. Still, well worth watching on a lazy day, especially for the final act, when the protaganists fight off a zombie hoard inside a burning church. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus: topless scuba diving zombie shark fight, which is also my new DJ name.

[alwaysrunningoutoftime]

(Pictures: 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9)

Your Friendly Neighbourhood, Wizard. (Alex Russo/Justin Russo Fanfiction)

Prologue

Pairing: Superhero! Alex Russo x Justin Russo, Slowburn.

Genre: Action, Humour,  Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Romance

Warnings: mild/explicit language, Injuries, sisterxbrother.

Set: After Season 4x10 "Wizards Vs. Angels" (Which is somewhat heavily involved in both Alex and Justin’s separate storylines.) + “Back to Max”.

Est. Length: 8 Chapters.

Summary: After defeating the dark angels, Justin continues to teach his delinquent class unconsciously suppressing his guilt over the ramifications of the moral compass. Simultaneously, Alex unconventionally stumbles into a superhero gig. Inept and unprepared, great power and an even greater burden is placed on her shoulders. Bothered by his sisters reoccurring absence, Justin determinedly investigates her distant behaviour. Meanwhile, Alex is forced to face a truth she’d always buried, discovering it unwillingly from a formidable powerful being she will have to defeat.

Disclaimer/Author's Note: I’ve been brainstorming this fic probably since quarantine started. It’s mostly inspired by Spiderman! Into the Spiderverse, Holland! Spiderman and Garfield! Spiderman. As well as the looks and feel of DC Comic’s Raven and Marvel’s Scarlet Witch. Other inspirations include music from Birds of Prey, On My Block, Euphoria. All of which I do not own. In addition, I sadly do not own Wizards of Waverly Place.

However, Alex’s origin story is wholly my own that I personally thought up myself (so let’s hope it’s believable) and if it correlates with any other superhero storyline it’s purely coincidental. The OC’s are also obviously my own creation.

“Do you know why you’re here, Alex Russo?”

“Ummm…” Alex backed up at the man's intense stare. She was pretty sure he was going for intimidation, but it fell short landing right on uncomfortable. “Not really…”

“Well, young lady,” His words were layered thick with haughtiness. Alex had just met the man today and she already knew she disliked him. “It seems you were part of a riot in central park.”

“No…” She narrowed her eyes at him, shook her head, even elongated the word in an attempt to get it through his thick skull. “I was trying to get home.”

She was actually trying to find her wand, but he didn’t need to know that. The wand that Rosie and Gorog decided to fling off the dark realm tower.  The detailed image of it glowing magic in the night sky as it twirled to its doom stayed seared to the front of her mind. She could even hear her own cry for it as everyone watched it go. My wand.

“So what were you doing in Central Park?” Right after returning the moral compass she searched Central Park assuming it had landed there. Key word: assuming. It was hard to calculate where objects falling off towers landed. For her, it was hard to calculate in general.

“A girl can’t go to one of New York City's finest parks just for the fuc- fun of it.” She replied with a smile, catching herself before she swore. It was just her luck to get the arrogant, novice, goody-two-shoes, by-the-book cop. They didn’t enjoy it when she did that.

“And you just happened to be hanging out with an enraged mob?” He asked mockingly. Okay so...she did get mixed up in a riot. Which wasn’t her fault. She was too focused at the task at hand to pay any attention to the crowd of screaming people she had walked through. What was more concerning was that one of those fuckers was stepping all over her wand, or worse one of them had already snapped its cherry redness in two.

“I wasn’t hanging out with them-”

“Yeah, instead you were disturbing the peace and provoking assaults.” Alex had to stay low to the ground for any sign of her wand which perhaps caused a few people to accidentally trip over her. There was also a minor possibility that her assertive bumping into others unintentionally started some fights. This all lead to Richard here (according to his desk tag), cuffing her and bringing her to the NYPD Central Park precinct. Meaning her wand had been left behind, defenceless against the grimy boots of crabby New Yorkers...if it was even there to begin with.

“How do you disturb the peace in a riot?” Alex fired back.

“Ms. Russo, you’ve had a record since you were twelve.” He said, abruptly switching topics and ignoring her. Rude much. To prove his point he made a show of flailing her folder around. It was a decent size for her age, Alex inwardly complimented herself. The first crime listed there was in summer 2004, when she sold those fake broadway tickets to unsuspecting tourists. That summer was a blast: hundreds of ice cream sandwiches and magazines.

“This behaviour is to be expected.” He finished. Alex suppressed an eye roll, this dude was getting on her nerves. Yes, she had a few run ins with the cops, but that didn’t mean she was always guilty of doing something vaguely illegal. Ever since she became a wizard, she'd barely caused any trouble with the mortals, Alex commended herself. Her last record was a good year ago, with a little vandalism and conning going under the radar but that was it. In their eyes, she could have set herself straight since then. Which she did.

What happened to the benefit of the doubt, what happened to believing people could change. Screw him and his patterns. And screw her wand for not being in Central Park. Now she’d have to buy a new one she sulked, slouching lower in the hard chair.

“I don’t like your attitude, Missy.” He said, noting her behaviour. ”Kids these days, not respecting the police.”

Oh my gosh, I just wanna go home. Richard Owens (what a lame name) continued typing at his computer, probably adding ‘riot starter’ to her record. He’d been holding her here for an hour now, still trying to gather evidence and witness accounts to file in her record. So far he had zero, zip, nada, not a single thing. Since everyone's memory seemed to be fuzzy, which she guessed was due to the moral compass.

Alex was annoyed at him and his cockiness. Annoyed at this hard chair that was making her butt fall asleep. Annoyed at the amount of people in this room, and how overly hot it. Would it kill them to crack open a window or turn up the air conditioning.

“Is that you, Alex Russo?” A woman said, approaching the desk. Oh finally her saviour.

“Wassup, June!” Alex grinned up at Song Namjoo, or June, as Alex called her. Much to Namjoo's displeasure. Not so much the name as it was Alex being an annoying little shit.

“What’d you do now?” She asked, placing a hand behind Alex’s chair, leaning forward to scan over the computer. The woman had her hair pulled down into its signature low bun, not a hair out of place. Her pristine police sergeant uniform was pressed to perfection with not a single crease, something Justin would greatly admire.

“No way, June you passed your Police Sergeant Exam!” Alex exclaimed. “You look dope.” She nodded in approval.

“Yeah.” June modeled for a second, before straightening her posture. “Passed about six months ago.”

“Well congratulations.” Alex smiled, genuinely proud. June was her life saver, and lowkey pain in her ass. Wherever she caused a ruckus (exclusively non magical) June would shortly be there. June had stopped a lot of unwanted things from going on her record, and also had a way of calming down Jerry and Theresa when they threatened to send her to the military. On the other hand, it's like she had some sort of Alex specific third eyes always managing to catch her in the act. Plus, her lectures were lengthy and boring and she didn't even allow Alex the option to sleep through them. In a way, she was Justin, if he were in the police force and was, you know, a Korean woman.

She shivered at the thought. Sure, Justin saved her a few too many times but that was because he was her brother. June was altruistic, she held herself with poise and grace. Like a cool aunt who'd let you off the hook halfway then let you decide for yourself the rest of the way. Besides, June was high-key a badass and Justin still cried over 'Mantooth'.

She felt a light pinch on her arm, automatically ready to shout 'POLICE BRUTALITY!' catching herself as she connected eyes with June.

June subtly raised an eyebrow in question towards Alex as if to say ‘What did you do now?’ Alex shrugged in response, her face saying ‘I’m innocent I swear’. June in turn gave her a half believing/ half disbelieving expression, before rolling her eyes. Which was always code for ‘Fine, I believe you’. After knowing June for a good 5 years they'd learned to read each others facial expressions pretty well. It helped with her record, it definitely helped with the parents.

“Okay really Richard a riot starter.” June stared at the man with clear judgement on her face. “Leave the girl alone. We have bigger things to worry about then a riot starter.”

“Oh, like what, June?” Richard goaded. First he disrespects Alex, and now June. Alex doesn’t know a lot of things she will admit, but she picked up on workplace professionalism. To begin with June was a higher ranking officer meaning she was above him. And Richard said her name without its formal title, displaying a lack of respect. Alex watched as June’s expression turned perplexed, or more accurately her ‘bitch, what did you just say?’ look. Alex wished she had popcorn now and a comfy chair.

“First of all, that is Sergeant Song to you Richard. Secondly, maybe you’ve been on desk duty for too long but we’re dealing with a lot more than riots.” June started. This was gonna be good. “There have been innumerable cases of aggravated assaults, burglaries, thefts, property crimes, arsons, and attempted murders. The crime rate has exponentially increased on this day alone. It’s worst than the 80s, Richard.” As the venom dripped from June’s mouth, Alex was quickly realizing what truly happened this night. “Every precinct in New York is packed to the brim and every hospital too. There are more citizens than staff members. And to top it off, a lot of these people had no previous record before this night. No explanation why they would do this and barely any remembrance of what they did. Not even a full moon could explain this utter fuckery!” She exclaimed, motioning around the precinct.

Alex cringed, knowing exactly what had caused this, or more accurately who. She didn’t realize how serious turning that moral compass was. It had only felt like a game of tug a war with her brother like what they did as kids. She even played around with him, tricking him into thinking he had broken the thing so she’d gain the upper hand. When they were flying above the dark realm tower, pulling and pushing they felt so far removed from the world. It was literal child’s play, no throwing punches, no broken bones just like a high school grip test.

But, she could see the damage they caused now. The place was overfilled with people. At each desk, in the cells, standing around. Some bleeding out, others with lost expressions on their faces, the ones she couldn’t even look at were the people crying. All these people had done something bad or suffered because of it. All because that moral compass pointed in the wrong direction a little too long.

“And out of everyone in that riot you chose the person farthest from the action, a clear bystander.” Alex wanted to laugh bitterly at that, if only these people knew just how involved she really was in this. If only they knew their desire to do good relied on a floppy arrow on a disk. But, she’d never tell them this, she’d let people continue to believe they had a bigger choice in their lives. That’s what she had to do as a wizard. As long as it saved her ass. As long as it didn’t affect her.

“So yes Richard there are bigger things than a 17 year old girl.”  June finished. The room was completely silent, all eyes staring at Richard. It was so quiet Alex could hear the sound of Richard’s ego deflating like a balloon, saw his face turning as red as a tomato until he resembled a sheepish boy who had just been scolded by his mom in front of all his friends. She couldn’t even take pleasure in his pain, now faced with her own mistakes.

Ha, take that dick. She tried to lighten her spirits. Cause like dick is the nickname for Richard. It didn’t work that well.

And…

Richard let her go, with no new record of ‘inciting a riot’, all thanks to June and how she completely dragged him through the mud.

June walked her to the front door of the precinct, stopping at the door.

“Okay bye Alex. I wish I didn��t have to say this…” June said, taking a deep breathe and closing her eyes to ground herself. “See you soon.” She gave a fake smile.

“You know me so well June. I’ll be sure to bring my best stuff next time, though.” Alex replied back keeping her humour up. She was still a little unsettled at the amount of people she saw on her way out.

“Aha.” June laughed drily, clearly not amused. “Stay in school, kid." And then she was pushed out of the building.

Just as Alex took her first steps away from the precinct, "Hey! The streets are worse tonight, stay safe Alex.” June shouted before shutting the door.

Alex looked back, a sigh heavy on her lips. She composed herself, her mood quickly lightening at the prospect of going home. Which meant her bed, which meant lying down, which meant sleep.

She wouldn’t walk of course. Use magic, definitely. If someone thought she was gonna walk home, they were sadly mistaken.

Looking around to see if anyone was watching she backed into the nearest alley.

“Woah, watch out kid!-”

She was pushed with brute force into the alley wall. Are you kidding me? She smacked right into the bricks, her elbows preventing her face from getting smashed. Hadn’t she been jostled enough today. She stiffened as she felt a bolt of magic graze past her, causing the hairs on her arms to stand up.

Wait a minute… Magic? There was a wizard.

She turned around to see a woman in a Kevlar black suit push a man further into the alleyway. The woman threw a punch to the man’s face, a crackle of blue magic extended through her fist causing the man to crash into the wall.

“What the fuck.” Alex whispered. She must have actually hit her head because this couldn’t be real.

The woman turned to Alex, her dark blue boxer braids swinging with the movement. A mask covered half her face, but all Alex could see were her eyes glowing blue in the dark, as if rimmed with the magic. “Leave, now-“

“Watch out!” Alex screamed back, seeing the man getting up already. A bright pulse of white magic extended through his fingertips towards the masked woman, who quickly ducked dodging it, giving a swift kick to the man's stomach.

He was thrown off balance, long enough for the woman to turn to Alex shooting a burst of blue magic into her direction.

Alex brought her hand in front of her as if to stop it. Was this woman trying to kill her? She closed her eyes, ready for impact.

Then opened them to silence and a vast space of whiteness. She was in the wizard portal. The masked lady had teleported her here.

So, the blue magic lady was a wizard and a superhero…and people were still being bad even after the moral compass was returned.

Alex thought about it for a moment. Then with a shrug of her shoulders she brushed it off, beginning to walk to the lair.

Frankly, Alex was exhausted: her back hurt from flapping those wings, her knees were sore from all of the heavy landings she endured with the wings, her arms ached from that tug-a-war contest she had with Justin, her butt was sore from that hard chair, her feet ached from all the walking she did and she nearly got zapped in the face with magic. On top of all of that, she still didn’t know where her wand went.

Alex sighed in relief when she finally got to the lair. All that walking was making her even more tired. She pushed the door open, determined to get to bed and collapse. But her steps faltered when she was greeted by the sight of her brother looking down at a white feather.

It didn’t take a genius to realize the feather was Rosie’s. Alex was worried at the sight of him, grasping a feather from another lost love wasn’t a good sign. And more than that he hadn’t been himself for the past week. She’d barely talked to him for the past week, so she was nervous to see how he was after everything.

“Justin…” She began, confusion laced in her tone. He turned at her voice.“What are you doing still up? It’s late.” And also past his appointed bedtime.

“I stayed up because I owe you something.” He began. Her cherry red wand in his hand. Her glorious cherry red wand she’d been looking everywhere for. Finally, reunited with what had been plaguing her mind all night her eyes immediately brightened at the sight of it. She grasped at it with both hand, smiling down at her wand.

“I found it in Washington Square Park.” Oh, Washington Square Park. Damn she really did suck at calculating. Nevermind, the fact that it was in the complete opposite direction. “A two-headed dog had it. Pretty sure he didn’t start out that way.”

So her wand was chilling in lower Manhattan with a two headed dog as she searched the grounds of upper Manhattan, tripping people over and starting fights, and getting caught by the police. She giggled at that, amused with what her night turned into.

“Thank you.” She genuinely meant it. “What about your wand?”

“I, uh…” He held his wand up, inspecting it for a moment just to show her the sad state it was in; snapped in half with duct tape barely holding it together. She laughed at her brother’s antics. Secretly, relieved to have her brother back. Him and even his humour. Yup, he was still Justin. “I’ll find a spell to fix it.”

He set his wand down and turned to face her, an earnest expression on his face. Alex was taken aback by the swift change in atmosphere, the room suddenly feeling more serious. “And I owe you something else.”

He came forward. Her eyes flickering at his movement. Oh, And we’re hugging.

His arms wrapped around her, bending down to rest his chin on her shoulder. He quietly uttered, “Thank you for saving me.” while comfortingly rubbing her back as he always did. Ever since they were children, it was a soothing motion he always did when he hugged her. A distinct movement they could focus on together to calm down. She nodded slightly, silently appreciating the moment.

“It’s for all the times that you saved me when I wasn’t so good.”

Countless images were brought to mind, most prominent of all: a campfire in the rainforest. She began to feel nostalgic and a bit anxious. Not fond of the emotions, she quickly lightened the atmosphere. “And for a couple more times in the future, so we’re even.” She finished with a smile, satisfied with her little joke.

“No, we’re not.” Justin replied, coming to sit down on the desk beside her. “You saved the world today.”

She studied him for a moment, silently disagreeing with his words. She was only trying to get him back, everything else, saving the world was secondary to that.

She’d never admit how anxious she felt seeing Justin so unlike himself: stealing flowers, using magic in public, and stomping on people's groceries. Overall being a jerk. The worst of it was when she revealed Rosie's true nature, he still chose her, a girl he’d known for less than a month than his own sister. A dark angel, whose values would never align with his own. And when she tried one last desperate time to get him back he still chose darkness. Only turning good because of that girl. It hurt more than she thought it would.

But Alex had to remind herself of something very important: that Justin was the one influenced by dark angels. That he wasn’t himself at the time and that scarily some powers are greater than her connection to her brother. So she’d keep it to herself, shove it in the back of her mind like she usually did with all of her emotions, and ignore it, until she’d be forced to confront it.

Instead, she focused on the reassurance she’d gotten when Justin finally came back. How happy she was when he immediately told her to put the moral compass back, in that commanding voice he used when he would clean her messes. The ease she felt now that he was once again right beside her. Like a puzzle piece clicking back into place (and screw him for making her think of boring puzzles). This is where he was meant to be.

She would never say that out loud so she said, “You gave up a girl to protect it” instead.

She watched a faraway expression take on his face, familiar to the one he wore in Transylvania when he lost Juliet. He’d lost Rosie now, and a few weeks ago she'd learned she wasn't meant to be with Mason. It’s like they were both cursed to never have a happy ending. Only ending up with the comfort of each other.

She didn’t think about how established this felt. Or the strange notion that perhaps this was how her happy ending was supposed to be.

In an attempt to stop herself from wandering too far back in her mind, she asked him. “Why do we have to keep dealing with stuff like this?” He was Justin and he always had the answer. She could always count on him.

“We’re wizards.” And it was like that was the be all, end all. “I don’t think we have a choice.” The plain and simple answer.

It was horrible how that answer alone made complete sense to her. How she’d just thought about it in that overpacked precinct. All of her mistakes and losses were always tied into being a wizard.

So, maybe she was past the point of caring, past sadness and moving into delirium with a little sprinkle dead tiredness because she smiled instead. She smiled up at him and he caught her before she turned away. He bumped her with his shoulder, bouncing her away and back to him.

They were settling back into their pattern. Just the two of them: Justin and Alex. She sighed contentedly and a little tiredly resting her head on her big brother's shoulder, feeling his head rest on hers.

For all her mistakes and all her losses at least she always had her Justin.

And she hoped he knew for all his mistakes and all his losses he’d always have his Alex.

She closed her eyes, fully ready to sleep.

“We’ll be okay, right?” Justin quietly asked.

Alex yawned, furrowing her brows slightly at the unexpected question. Maybe they should have been more aware in this moment, appreciated it more. Maybe she could have helped him better if she’d paid more attention. Maybe, he could have protected her better from darker things than angels.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine.”

For Alex would soon face a burden so great it would compromise her relationship with those around her. After all, with great power comes great responsibility.

[collectorscorner]

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[livesets-dj-mixes-edm-podcasts]

Download TRUcast 115 - Alex Peace & Brian Boncher for free now!

Artist: Show: TRUcast 115 – Alex Peace & Brian Boncher Quality: 320 Kbps 48000 Khz Genre: House, Tech House, Techno Source: RSS

Listen or download more TRUcast episodes HERE

TRUcast 115 – Alex Peace & Brian Boncher Tracklist

The “official” podcast of Tru Musica featuring Tru Musica Artists and Tru Friends from around the Galaxy. From House to Techno and everything in between, Tru Musica has already begun to carve out it’s niche in the House Community focused on the music that revolves around the “jack”

AP

OJ. Santos, MMH – In The 80’s (Original Mix)

Dunmore Brothers feat Ayaba Poetic – Step Closer (Original Mix)

Rubb Sound System – Work On This

Paolo Di Natale – Another Night (Original Mix)

Bad Boy Bill – Let Me See You Work (Treasure Fingers Extended Remix)

BBwhite – Mr Right (Original Mix)

Vazquez – Green Bamboo (Original Mix)

BB

KAZAA – KAZAA – Want Me (Original Mix)

Alex Kenji – Indigo (Original Mix)

Wayne Brett – Bring The Heat ’21

Joeski – Toque De Palo (Original Club Mix)

Simone D Jay – Feel This Groove

Fourword – Snake Charmer (Extended Mix)

DJ Funk, Rubb Sound System – Pump It (Rubb Sound System Remix)

AP

Calicko, Don Rimini – North-South (Original Mix)

Gianni Ruocco, Whay – Sweet Symphony (Line Box Mix)

Andre Salmon, Gettoblaster, Missy – Don’t Stop (Original Mix)

Moreno Pezzolato, Octahvia, Qubiko – U Want Me Feat. Octahvia (Qubiko Remix)

Santigold – L.E.S Artistes (Switch Remix – Martin EZ Edit

Azzido Da Bass – Dooms Night

BB

Kenny Brian Chuleria (Tech House Mix)

Mooncat, Ferank, Marcelo Vasami – Hear What Was Said Feat. Ferank (Marcelo Vasami Remix)

Moreno Pezzolato f. Octahvia – Take Me Up (Original Club Mix)

Jaxx Inc. VS Alex Peace & Brian Boncher – Dreamin

Holt 88 – Ru Tata (Original Club Mix)

Federico Scavo – Watchin’ Out (Extended Mix)

Sllash & Doppe – Bamboo Straw (Original Mix)

HP Vince – Hollywood Disco Club

The podcast TRUcast is embedded on this page from an open RSS feed. All files, descriptions, artwork and other metadata from the RSS-feed is the property of the podcast owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by EDMliveset.com.

Follow us on: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Reddit & VK

[edmlivesets4u-blog]

Listen or download TRUcast 115 - Alex Peace & Brian Boncher for free now!

Artist: Show: TRUcast 115 – Alex Peace & Brian Boncher Quality: 320 Kbps 48000 Khz Genre: House, Tech House, Techno Source: RSS

Listen or download more TRUcast episodes HERE

TRUcast 115 – Alex Peace & Brian Boncher Tracklist

The “official” podcast of Tru Musica featuring Tru Musica Artists and Tru Friends from around the Galaxy. From House to Techno and everything in between, Tru Musica has already begun to carve out it’s niche in the House Community focused on the music that revolves around the “jack”

AP

OJ. Santos, MMH – In The 80’s (Original Mix)

Dunmore Brothers feat Ayaba Poetic – Step Closer (Original Mix)

Rubb Sound System – Work On This

Paolo Di Natale – Another Night (Original Mix)

Bad Boy Bill – Let Me See You Work (Treasure Fingers Extended Remix)

BBwhite – Mr Right (Original Mix)

Vazquez – Green Bamboo (Original Mix)

BB

KAZAA – KAZAA – Want Me (Original Mix)

Alex Kenji – Indigo (Original Mix)

Wayne Brett – Bring The Heat ’21

Joeski – Toque De Palo (Original Club Mix)

Simone D Jay – Feel This Groove

Fourword – Snake Charmer (Extended Mix)

DJ Funk, Rubb Sound System – Pump It (Rubb Sound System Remix)

AP

Calicko, Don Rimini – North-South (Original Mix)

Gianni Ruocco, Whay – Sweet Symphony (Line Box Mix)

Andre Salmon, Gettoblaster, Missy – Don’t Stop (Original Mix)

Moreno Pezzolato, Octahvia, Qubiko – U Want Me Feat. Octahvia (Qubiko Remix)

Santigold – L.E.S Artistes (Switch Remix – Martin EZ Edit

Azzido Da Bass – Dooms Night

BB

Kenny Brian Chuleria (Tech House Mix)

Mooncat, Ferank, Marcelo Vasami – Hear What Was Said Feat. Ferank (Marcelo Vasami Remix)

Moreno Pezzolato f. Octahvia – Take Me Up (Original Club Mix)

Jaxx Inc. VS Alex Peace & Brian Boncher – Dreamin

Holt 88 – Ru Tata (Original Club Mix)

Federico Scavo – Watchin’ Out (Extended Mix)

Sllash & Doppe – Bamboo Straw (Original Mix)

HP Vince – Hollywood Disco Club

The podcast TRUcast is embedded on this page from an open RSS feed. All files, descriptions, artwork and other metadata from the RSS-feed is the property of the podcast owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by EDMliveset.com.

Follow us on: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Reddit & VK

[awaitingarsooz]

[theradiodude]

In chronological order (by year) of single release, I give you the Miami High Playlist -- otherwise known as a musical journey through my life -- as a work in progress. Sugarhill Gang, The - Rapper's Delight Hall & Oates - I Can't Go for That Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight Soft Cell - Tainted Love Sugarhill Gang, The - Apache After The Fire - Der Kommissar (theDALE Radio Edit) Grandmaster Flash & The Furious 5 - The Message Hall & Oates - Maneater Toto - Africa Toto - Rosanna Yaz - Don't Go Billy Joel - Uptown Girl Men Without Hats - Safety Dance (Remix) Naked Eyes - (There's) Always Something There to Remind Me Yes - Owner of a Lonely Heart Billy Ocean - Caribbean Queen (No More Love On the Run) Debbie Deb - Lookout Weekend Glenn Frey - The Heat Is On Hall & Oates - Out of Touch Joan Jett & The Blackhearts - Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah!) Laura Branigan - Self Control Philip Bailey & Phil Collins - Easy Lover Shannon - Let the Music Play Bangles, The - Walk Like an Egyptian Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) Level 42 - Something About You Miami Sound Machine - Conga Mr. Mister - Broken Wings Phil Collins - Sussudio Scorpions, The - Rock You Like a Hurricane Sly Fox - Let's Go All the Way Wham! - Everything She Wants Afrika Bambaataa - Looking for the Perfect Beat Afrika Bambaataa & The Soul Sonic Force - Planet Rock Bruce Hornsby - Mandolin Rain Exposé - Come Go With Me (Shortened 12-Inch Mix) Falco - Rock Me Amadeus (American '86 Mix) Genesis - Tonight, Tonight, Tonight Huey Lewis & The News - Hip To Be Square Miami Sound Machine - Bad Boy Steve Winwood - Higher Love Swing Out Sister - Breakout Buster Poindexter - Hot Hot Hot (Radio Edit) Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine - Rhythm Is Gonna Get You Los Lobos - La Bamba Steve Winwood - Valerie (Remix Version) Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Somebody Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine - 1,2,3 (Remix) Stevie B. - Dreamin' of Love Double Trouble & The Rebel MC - Just Keep Rockin' (Original Sk'ouse 12-Inch) Gloria Estefan - Get On Your Feet Young MC - Bust A Move Poison Clan - Dance All Night Alannah Myles - Black Velvet Snap! - The Power Technotronic - Pump Up The Jam Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby Deee-Lite - Groove Is In The Heart 2 Unlimited - Get Ready For This Black Box - Strike It Up C+C Music Factory - Gonna Make You Sweat (feat. Freedom Williams) Michael Jackson - Black or White (No Intro) Snap! - Rhythm Is a Dancer Chaka Demus & Pliers - Murder She Wrote Captain Hollywood Project - More and More (7" edit) Reel 2 Real - I Like To Move It (feat. The Mad Stuntman) (Radio Edit) Tag Team - Whoomp! (There It Is) Ace of Base - The Sign Real McCoy, The - Run Away Shawn Christopher - Make My Love (theDALE Radio Edit) Blackstreet - No Diggity (feat. Dr Dre & Queen Pen) Corona - Rhythm of the Night Faithless - Insomnia Method Man - All I Need (feat. Mary J. Blige) (Razor Sharp Remix) Skee-Lo - I Wish (Radio Edit) Amber - This Is Your Night Angelina - Release Me (Radio Mix Show) Audio Adrenaline - Free Ride Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah!! Got You All in Check Charli Baltimore - Money (theDALE Radio Edit) Daft Punk - Around The World DJ Laz - Esa Morena Everything But the Girl - Missing (Todd Terry's Club Mix) La Bouche - Be My Lover (US Version) La Bouche - Sweet Dreams Mon A Q - Stay In Love (7-Inch Dance Radio Mix) Natural Born Chillers - Rock the Funky Beat No Mercy - Where Do You Go Planet Soul - Set U Free Quad City DJ's - C'mon 'N' Ride It (The Train) Robert Miles - Children Ghost Town DJ's - My Boo Audio Adrenaline - Blitz (feat. The O.C. Supertones) Brian McKnight - You Should Be Mine (feat. Ma$e) B-Rock & Da Biz - My Baby Daddy Chumbawamba - Tubthumping Freak Nasty - Da Dip Jocelyn Enriquez - A Little Bit of Ecstasy Lil' Kim - Not Tonight (Ladies Night Remix) (feat. Angie Martinez, Lisa Left Eye Lopez, Da Brat & Missy Elliott) Luke - Raise The Roof (Party Time Version) (feat. No Good But So Good) MC Lyte - Cold Rock a Party (Bad Boy remix) (MC Lyte main version) Montell Jordan - Get It On Tonite Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize (Radio Mix) Notorious B.I.G. - Mo Money Mo Problems Puff Daddy & Ma$e - Can't Nobody Hold Me Down Robyn - Do You Know (What It Takes) Rockell - In a Dream Savage Garden - I Want You Sneaker Pimps - Spin Spin Sugar Timbaland & Magoo - Luv 2 Luv U (Remix) Tito Nieves - I Like It Like That Lathun - Freak It Usher - You Make Me Wanna.mp3 Beenie Man - Middle Of The Night (feat. Tanto Metro) Beenie Man - Romie Aaliyah - Are You That Somebody? Ace Of Base - Cruel Summer Ayla - Ayla Part 2 Backstreet Boys, The - Everybody (Backstreet's Back) Big Pun - Still Not a Player (feat. Joe) Brandy & Monica - The Boy Is Mine (Radio Edit - No Phone Call) Busta Rhymes - Dangerous Busta Rhymes - Turn It Up (Remix) / Fire It Up Deborah Cox - Nobody's Supposed to Be Here (original version) Destiny’s Child - No, No, No, Part 2 (feat. Wyclef Jean) Dru Hill - How Deep Is Your Love (feat. Redman) (Radio Edit) Elvis Crespo - Suavemente Fatboy Slim - The Rockafeller Skank (Radio Edit) Ian Van Dahl - Castles in the Sky K.P. & Envyi - Swing My Way L.O.X., The - Money, Power & Respect Lord Tariq & Peter Gunz - Déjà Vu (Uptown Baby) (Clean Version) Ma$e - Feel So Good Missy Elliott - Sock It 2 Me (feat. Da Brat) Monifah - Touch It (Radio Edit) Outkast - Rosa Parks Puff Daddy - Victory (feat. The Notorious B.I.G. & Busta Rhymes) (Clean) Rob Zombie - Dragula (Hot Rod Herman Mix) Robbie Williams - Millennium (Radio Edit) Robyn - Show Me Love (Radio Version) Sonique - It Feels So Good (Radio Edit) Stardust - Music Sounds Better With You (Radio Edit) Beenie Man - Who Am I (LP) 702 - Where My Girls At? Alice DeeJay - Back in My Life Apollo 440 - Stop The Rock ATB - 9PM (Till I Come) (Original Radio Edit) Backstreet Boys, The - Larger Than Life Blaque - 808 (Remix) Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time Christina Aguilera - Genie in a Bottle Citizen King - Better Days Clubbed to Death - Clubbed to Death (Kurayamino Variation) C-Murder - Down For My... (feat. Magic & Snoop Dogg) (Clean Version) Counting Crows - Hanginaround Darude - Sandstorm Destiny's Child - Bills, Bills, Bills Fragma - Toca's Miracle Groove Armada - I See You Baby (Shakin' That Ass) (Fatboy Slim Radio Edit) Jordan Knight - Give It To You (Miami Booty Bass Edit) JT Money - Who Dat (feat. Solé) Knowdaverbs - The Syllabus La Rissa - I Do Both Jay & Jane Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing) LEN - Steal My Sunshine Lenny Kravitz - Fly Away Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of...) Marc Anthony - I Need to Know (Pablo's Miami Mix Radio Edit) Memphis Bleek - Is That Your Chick (The Lost Verses) (feat. Jay-Z, Twista & Missy Elliot) (Radio Edit) Modjo - Lady (Hear Me Tonight) Outkast - B.O.B. (Bombs Over Baghdad) Outkast - Ms. Jackson Santana - Smooth (feat. Rob Thomas) Smashmouth - All Star Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride (Philip Steir Remix) Vengaboys - We Like to Party Will Smith - Miami Zombie Nation - Kernkraft 400 (Live Remix) Furthermore - Fluorescent Jellyfish (Fluorescent Jellyfish Album Version) TLC - No Scrubs (Clean) Fatman Scoop - Be Faithful (Original Mix) 98 Degrees - Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche) Aaliyah - Try Again Alice DeeJay - Better Off Alone ATC - Around The World (La La La La La) Azzido da Bass - Dooms Night (Timo Maas Radio Edit) Daft Punk - One More Time (Short Radio Edit) Debelah Morgan - Dance With Me Destiny’s Child - Jumpin’ Jumpin’ Destiny's Child - Independent Women Pt. 1 DJ Jurgen - Higher & Higher (Radio Edit) DMX - Party Up (Edited) Dr. Dre - Forgot About Dre (feat. Eminem) Eiffel 65 - Blue Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married (ReMarqable Remix) (feat. Jermaine Dupri & Rev Run) Janet Jackson - Doesn't Really Matter Jennifer Lopez - Waiting For Tonight Knowdaverbs - God Is Big Limp Bizkit - Take A Look Around (Clean) 'N Sync - Bye Bye Bye 'N Sync - It's Gonna Be Me Nine Days - Absolutely (Story Of A Girl) P!nk - Most Girls P!nk - There You Go Samantha Mumba - Gotta Tell You Santana - Maria Maria (feat. The Product G&B) (Radio Mix) Third Eye Blind - Never Let You Go Tomoyasu Hotei - Battle Without Honor Or Humanity Mary Mary - Shackles (Praise You) Madonna - Music Trina - Pull Over (Radio Version) Aaliyah - We Need a Resolution (feat. Timbaland) Britney Spears - Boys Christina Milian - AM to PM Daft Punk - Harder Better Faster Stronger Dee Dee - Forever DJ Encore - I See Right Through to You DMX - Who We Be Janet Jackson - Someone to Call My Lover (So So Def Remix) (feat. Jermaine Dupri) Janet Jackson - Son of a Gun (Original Flyte Time Remix) (feat. Missy Elliott) Jennifer Lopez - I'm Real Jennifer Lopez - Play (Clean) Joe - Stutter (feat. Mystikal) (Double Take Remix - Allstar Extended Version) Lasgo - Something Ludacris - Rollout (My Business) (Clean) Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott - Get Ur Freak On OceanLab - Clear Blue Water (Above & Beyond Progressive Mix) Outkast - So Fresh, So Clean (Radio Mix) Tamia - Stranger in My House (Thunderpuss Radio Edit) Toya - I Do!! Train - Drops of Jupiter U2 - Beautiful Day Destiny's Child - Bootylicious Willa Ford - I Wanna Be Bad 'N Sync - Pop (Radio Version) Smashmouth - I'm A Believer Relient K - Sadie Hawkins Dance Tree63 - Treasure Tree63 - Joy Tree63 - Look What You've Done Tree63 - 1*0*1 Tree63 - Worldwide Aaliyah - More Than a Woman Angie Martinez - If I Could Go (feat. Lil’ Mo & Sacario) Brandy - What About Us? Britney Spears - Boys (Co‐Ed remix) (feat. Pharrell Williams) Daniel Bedingfield - Gotta Get Thru This Dirty Vegas - Days Go By (Radio Edit) DJ Sammy & Yanou feat. Do - Heaven (Sammy & Yanou radio edit) DMX - X Gon' Give It to Ya (Edited) Elvis vs. JXL - A Little Less Conversation Eminem - Lose Yourself (Clean Edit - Quick Intro) Gigi D’Agostino - I'll Fly With You (L'amour Toujours) Grits - Ooh Ahh iiO - Rapture (Riva Radio Edit) In-Grid - You Promised Me (Tu Es Foutu) Jennifer Lopez - Jenny From the Block (Track Masters Remix feat. Styles P. & Jadakiss [The L.O.X.]) Justin Timberlake - Like I Love You (feat. Clipse) Kylie Minogue - Can’t Get You Out of My Head Linkin Park - In The End LL Cool J - Luv U Better Ludacris - Move... (feat. Mystikal) (Radio Edit) Ludacris - Saturday (Oooh! Ooooh!) (Radio Edit) Maroon 5 - Harder To Breathe No Doubt - Hella Good No Doubt - Hey Baby (feat. Bounty Killer) Overseer - Horndog (Radio Edit) Snoop Dogg - From tha Chuuuch to da Palace (feat. Pharrell) (Clean) Pink - Get The Party Started Tree63 - The Glorious Ones Beyoncé - Naughty Girl Beyoncé feat. Jay-Z - Crazy in Love (single version) Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body Lil Kim - The Jump Off (Super Clean) Linkin Park - Nobody's Listening Ludacris - Stand Up (Edited) Lumidee - Never Leave You Michelle Branch - Are You Happy Now? Missy Elliott - Gossip Folks (feat. Ludacris) Missy Elliott - Work It (Hybrid Clean Edit) Outkast - Hey Ya Outkast - The Way You Move (Radio Mix) Paul Van Dyk - Nothing But You (feat. Hemstock & Jennings) (PVD Radio Mix) Sean Paul - Get Busy Switchfoot - Meant to Live The River Cry - Cry Me a River UKNY - I'm In Heaven (feat. Holly James) (Jason Nevins Presents...) Blu Cantrell Feat. Sean Paul - Breathe (Rap Version) (hurricān edit) Benny Benassi Presents The Biz - Satisfaction (Radio Edit) Airmen of Note, The - I'll Be Home for Christmas

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[ropebreaknet-blog]

WCW Wrestlewar 1991

Al fin empezando con los reviews de 1991. Este show, como casi todos los de esta época, descansa en una gran lucha, pero vaya lucha, la histórica War Games ‘91. Además, este fue el primer PPV de WCW como tal, sin la NWA (o eso creo, no estoy 100% seguro).

Junkyard Dog, Ricky Morton & Tommy Rich vs. Big Cat & The State Patrol: Lucha mejor de lo que esperaba, Ricky Morton es genial, el Junkyard Dog estaba en mejores condiciones de lo que habría imaginado, y nunca había visto a State Patrol ni Big Cat pero eran rudos entretenidos. Inofensivo opener, con algunas caídas falsas y el comeback de Junkyard Dog para hacer feliz a la gente.

Bobby Eaton vs Brad Amstrong: Me gustó ver a estos dos en una singles, lucha muy técnica y que estuve al borde de pasar al blog, pero sentí que le faltó algo para pasar al siguiente nivel. Eaton trabaja la espalda y cuello de Amstrong, que intenta hacer lo propio de vuelta, todo se vuelve muy físico, ya que son dos brutos castigándose zonas. Necesitamos más powerhouses técnicos hoy en día.

Aquí viene un segmento de Missy Hyatt intentando entrevistar a Stan Hansen. Voy a contar esta historia porque es interesante, aunque desagradable: Estos segmentos son incomprensibles viendo el show hoy en día, pero el Internet me cuenta que estaban haciendo una parodia a una reportera de Boston que fue humillada por los Patriots cuando fue a entrevistarlos después de un partido y le tiraron comida (lo mismo que hace Stan Hansen con Missy Hyatt más adelante). El asunto es que la historia dice que la reportera se enojó y los Patriots la trataron de “perra llorona” en vez de disculparse, por lo que los demandó y ganó. La reportera recibió hasta amenazas de muerte de gente de Boston por esto (hay imbéciles en todos lados, no me sorprende).

Lo irónico de todo esto, es que años más tarde Missy Hyatt demandó a Eric Bischoff por un tema parecido. En una lucha a la pobre Hyatt se le salió una pechuga. Algún idiota en WCW imprimió la foto del incidente y la pegó en camarines o algo así para reirse de ella. Hyatt le pidió a Bischoff que la ayudara a saber quien fue y reprenderlo, pero Bischoff no hizo nada, así que Hyatt lo acusó con el jefe. En respuesta, Bischoff despidió a Missy Hyatt, que lo demandó de vuelta y le ganó, aunque no se ha revelado la cifra de dinero que tuvo que pagarle. Bischoff es de lo más estúpido que ha existido en el mundo de la lucha libre, y eso es decir mucho.

Volvamos a la lucha, a propósito de motivos para ser feminista, viene la lucha de Joshi.

Miss A & Miki Handa v. Mami Kitamura & Itsuki Yamasaki: Otra lucha que estuve cerca de pasar al blog, estuvo muy buena, de hecho Meltzer le dio 3 y media. ¿Por qué le cambiaron los nombres a las luchadoras? Miss A es Dynamite Kansai, que en esta lucha da unos golpes más brutales que todos los que hayan visto en su vida la gente del público, y eso que han visto a Vader y Stan Hansen, pero Dynamite es brutal aquí masacrando a sus rivales. Entretenida lucha que fue más que nada una exhibición del estilo en menos de 7 minutos. Dustin Rhodes vs. Buddy Landel: Otra lucha relativamente corta, más técnica esta vez, con Dustin trabajando el cuello y brazos de su oponente desconocido para mí, pero es una especie de cosplay de Flair. Estuvo ok esto.

Jack Victory & Rip Morgan v. The Young Pistols: Hasta ahora la lucha más fome del show, se me hizo extensa. Fórmula de tag normal, con alguien recibiendo mucho castigo, hasta que hay un relevo, y varias movidas en pareja, interrupciones de conteos, y alguien gana, pero sentí que fue todo muy plano y no involucraron a la gente. Terry Taylor v. Tom Zenk: Lucha sin DQ, donde Taylor fue un rudo muy rudo y exagerado haciendo trampas, por las que no podía ser descalificado, hasta que Zenk le sacó la cresta igual, pero perdió con un rollup. Meh.

Big Van Vader vs Stan Hansen: Había leído que esta lucha era sumamente decepcionante comparado a la que tuvieron en Japón. Ok, aquí a Vader no se le salió el ojo, pero créanme que los reportes son completamente infundados, por favor vean esta lucha, es brillante, se fue al blog: http://ropebreak.net/index.php/2017/11/05/24021991-wcw-big-van-vader-vs-stan-hansen/

No sé a pito de qué es esto, pero Paul Heyman entrevista a El Gigante y dice tantos chistes racistas que termina siendo atacado. Este segmento tiene que estar por ahí con esas imágenes racistas de los dibujos animados de los años 30.

Lex Luger v. Dan Spivey: Otra excelente lucha, que grande era Lugar antes de WWF: http://ropebreak.net/index.php/2017/11/05/24021991-wcw-dan-spivey-vs-lex-luger/

Doom vs Fabulous Freebirds: Esto fue raro. Los Doom trabajaron como rudos pero la gente no quería mucho a los Freebirds, que ganaron luego de que unas trampas les salieron mal a los Doom por culpa de su manager, Teddy Long. Luego de la lucha, traicionan a Ron Simmons iniciando su turn face. Meh, no mucho que valiera la pena en esta lucha.

JR entrevista a un niño del público, le pregunta que equipo cree que ganarán los War Games, y dice “Doom”. Amé esto.

Nos recuerdan que Flair atacó a Pillman en la semana así que está en duda su aparición en los War Games. Por el lado rudo, Anderson se lesionó pero será reemplazado por Larry Zbyszko.

Las jaulas bajan con fuegos artificiales y todo. WAR GAMES - Sting, Brian Pillman y los Steiners vs The Four Horsemen (con Zbyszko reemplazando a Anderson): Uno de los grandes clásicos de la historia, reviú completo aquí: http://ropebreak.net/index.php/2017/11/05/24021991-wcw-sting-rick-steiner-scott-steiner-brian-pillman-vs-ric-flair-barry-windham-larry-zbyszko-sid-vicious/ Me encanta como intentaron explicar en serio la lesión de Pillman al final de la lucha y la decisión de Nick Patrick de parar la lucha, es la mejor forma de salir del paso que he visto. Aún no puedo concebir que Sid le haya hecho un segundo bombazo, y me pregunto si existirá alguna entrevista o documental donde se explique qué diablos pasó. Este show es excelente y merece todas las flores que tiene. En esta época (y me refiero a la década entera), los shows estaban basados en UNA lucha y el resto de la cartelera era relleno, bastaba con una undercard más o menos entretenida para sentirse como un gran show, acá hubo al menos 2 o 3 luchas más que fueron muy buenas, y el relleno fue poco para los estándares de la época. Merece ser recordado como uno de los grandes shows de los 90.

[demitgibbs]

What’s Hot Central Florida: August 2017

Friday, July 28

Southern Nights Orlando’s Flex Fridays celebrates DJ Chris Tavalare Birthday! Doors Open at 9pm, with no cover before 11pm 21+ (18+ Welcome). They will feature Drag Shows at 11pm & 12:30am with Roxxxy Andrews, Tasha Long, Maya Andrews & Chevelle Brooks as well as DJs Ants and Tavi. The Flamingo Resort presents Code: Glow Party with DJ Shannon C, sexy male dancers, and glow sticks provided.

Saturday, July 29

Parliament House presents South Beach Invasion starring TP Lords, Fantasia Royale GaGa, Missy Meyakie Lepaige, and Elishaly D’Witshes, as well as the men of Miami with beats by DJ Brianna. Flamingo Resort presents Customer Appreciation Night with a complimentary late night breakfast and Late Night at the Improv, uncensored, hosted by Iman at 11:30p.m., with doors opening in the Blu Room at 10:30p.m.

Sunday, July 30

The Dr. Phillips Center features La Bayadere at 5pm, presented by the Russian Ballet Orlando. Set in legendary India, La Bayadere tells the story of the doomed love between the noble warrior, Solor, and the beautiful temple dancer, Nikiya, who is murdered by her jealous rival, Gamzatti. In the aftermath, Solor’s grief brings him to the heavenly realm of the Kingdom of the Shades in an opium-induced dream, where his beloved appears among the many shades and tenderly forgives him for his betrayal. However, Gamzatti’s murderous triumph is short lived as her actions provoke the wrath of the gods. In retaliation, the gods destroy the temple, killing all who are responsible for Nikiya’s death, and Nikiya is reunited with her beloved Solor beyond the reach of man. Ticket  are $55.

Wednesday, August 2

Southern Nights Orlando presents Orlando Drag Race Live Season 4 hosted by Kitana Gemini. Admission is $10 with the season pass costing $45 (saves you $17, and gives you additional perks throughout the entire event season including reserved seating) and can only be purchased on Wed, August 2 or before. The dates for Drag Race are: August 2, August 9th, August 23rd, August 30th, September 13th and September 27th and is hosted by PePe. The cast for this season is: Waka Shame, Lacy Lane, Avery Valentino, Dollya Black, Juno Vibranz,  Sorcha Mercy, Rita Bane Stone,  Cara Cavalli, and Josie Milan.

Thursday, August 3

Wena’s Nightclub and Show Bar is featuring a benefit for Juno Vibranz to send her to Miss National Comedy Queen. Please join Miracle of Love, Inc. at their first feast taking place at Rubio’s Coastal Grill in Winter Park from 6-9p.m. If you mention Miracle of Love to your server, Rubio’s will donate 20% of the proceeds from your meal to Miracle of Love, Inc. – All proceeds will go towards their SMART Ride 14 fundraising efforts. For more information, contact Brett Yancey at 954-299-0554.

Tuesday,  August 8

The Straz Center presents Motown The Musical starting tonight and going through August 13. Motown The Musical is the true American dream story of Motown founder Berry Gordy’s journey from featherweight boxer to the heavyweight music mogul who launched the careers of Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Smokey Robinson and many more. Motown shattered barriers, shaped our lives and made us all move to the same beat. Featuring classic songs such as “My Girl” and “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” experience the story behind the music in the record-breaking smash hit Motown The Musical! Ticket Prices start at $28.50.

Thursday, August 10

Wena’s Nightclub and Show Bar is featuring 2 Club Kid parties this month. The first being tonight with the theme “Trailer Trash,” and the 2nd being Friday, August 25 with the theme “Marvel Vs. DC.” They will both be featuring Kitani Gemini , 92 Era Lords and special guests.

Friday, August 11

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena presents Multi-platinum-selling artists, multiple Grammy Award-winners and music icons, Lionel Richie: All The Hits with very special guest Mariah Carey. Tickets start at $36.20

Saturday, August 12

The Straz Center presents Pole for a Purpose inside the Jaeb Theater. The annual Pole for a Purpose pole dance and aerial arts showcase features performers from around the United States in this spectacular demonstration of strength and skill. Joining for the greater good, the Pole for a Purpose charity event has raised $23,000 in the past six years. For more information, visit poleforapurpose.com. Tickets start at $37.50.

Wena’s Nightclub and Show Bar features “A Night of Comedy Queens” as they feature Bev (Miss Gulf Coast Comedy Queen), Juno Vibranz, Kathryn Nevets and Daphne Ferraro.

Sunday, August 13

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena will host John Mayer Search for Everything World Tour at 7p.m. This tour will be comprised of a full band, solo acoustic and John Mayer Trio sets of music. Tickets start at $45.25.

Friday, August 18

The Flamingo Resort presents their annual Employee Turnabout hosted by Kenya Black (Miss Flamingo) with ShowTime at 11:30p.m. in the main bar along with raffles and lots of blackmail picture opportunities (LOL).

Saturday, August 19

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena will host Monster Jam Triple Threat Series, which is a points-based format that showcases the best lineup of Monster Jam vehicles that deliver what fans want to see most…more trucks, more racing, more freestyle, more donuts, more wheelies, more action! This series tests the versatility of the athletes as they go head-to-head in seven different competitions driving three different vehicles — Monster Jam trucks, Monster Jam Speedsters and Monster Jam ATVs. These athletes battle for points in challenging racing and freestyle events that push themselves and their machines to the limit.  Tickets start at $15.

Tuesday, August 29

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena presents Multiple GRAMMY Award-winning global superstar Ed Sheeran with special guest James Blunt. Ticket prices start at $39.50.

Hot Stuff

Hope & Help Center recently moved to a new location at 707 Mendham Blvd, suite 104, Orlando FL 32825.

  from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/07/27/whats-hot-central-florida-august-2017/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/163489326420

[cynthiajayusa]

What’s Hot Central Florida: August 2017

Friday, July 28

Southern Nights Orlando’s Flex Fridays celebrates DJ Chris Tavalare Birthday! Doors Open at 9pm, with no cover before 11pm 21+ (18+ Welcome). They will feature Drag Shows at 11pm & 12:30am with Roxxxy Andrews, Tasha Long, Maya Andrews & Chevelle Brooks as well as DJs Ants and Tavi. The Flamingo Resort presents Code: Glow Party with DJ Shannon C, sexy male dancers, and glow sticks provided.

Saturday, July 29

Parliament House presents South Beach Invasion starring TP Lords, Fantasia Royale GaGa, Missy Meyakie Lepaige, and Elishaly D’Witshes, as well as the men of Miami with beats by DJ Brianna. Flamingo Resort presents Customer Appreciation Night with a complimentary late night breakfast and Late Night at the Improv, uncensored, hosted by Iman at 11:30p.m., with doors opening in the Blu Room at 10:30p.m.

Sunday, July 30

The Dr. Phillips Center features La Bayadere at 5pm, presented by the Russian Ballet Orlando. Set in legendary India, La Bayadere tells the story of the doomed love between the noble warrior, Solor, and the beautiful temple dancer, Nikiya, who is murdered by her jealous rival, Gamzatti. In the aftermath, Solor’s grief brings him to the heavenly realm of the Kingdom of the Shades in an opium-induced dream, where his beloved appears among the many shades and tenderly forgives him for his betrayal. However, Gamzatti’s murderous triumph is short lived as her actions provoke the wrath of the gods. In retaliation, the gods destroy the temple, killing all who are responsible for Nikiya’s death, and Nikiya is reunited with her beloved Solor beyond the reach of man. Ticket  are $55.

Wednesday, August 2

Southern Nights Orlando presents Orlando Drag Race Live Season 4 hosted by Kitana Gemini. Admission is $10 with the season pass costing $45 (saves you $17, and gives you additional perks throughout the entire event season including reserved seating) and can only be purchased on Wed, August 2 or before. The dates for Drag Race are: August 2, August 9th, August 23rd, August 30th, September 13th and September 27th and is hosted by PePe. The cast for this season is: Waka Shame, Lacy Lane, Avery Valentino, Dollya Black, Juno Vibranz,  Sorcha Mercy, Rita Bane Stone,  Cara Cavalli, and Josie Milan.

Thursday, August 3

Wena’s Nightclub and Show Bar is featuring a benefit for Juno Vibranz to send her to Miss National Comedy Queen. Please join Miracle of Love, Inc. at their first feast taking place at Rubio’s Coastal Grill in Winter Park from 6-9p.m. If you mention Miracle of Love to your server, Rubio’s will donate 20% of the proceeds from your meal to Miracle of Love, Inc. – All proceeds will go towards their SMART Ride 14 fundraising efforts. For more information, contact Brett Yancey at 954-299-0554.

Tuesday,  August 8

The Straz Center presents Motown The Musical starting tonight and going through August 13. Motown The Musical is the true American dream story of Motown founder Berry Gordy’s journey from featherweight boxer to the heavyweight music mogul who launched the careers of Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Smokey Robinson and many more. Motown shattered barriers, shaped our lives and made us all move to the same beat. Featuring classic songs such as “My Girl” and “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” experience the story behind the music in the record-breaking smash hit Motown The Musical! Ticket Prices start at $28.50.

Thursday, August 10

Wena’s Nightclub and Show Bar is featuring 2 Club Kid parties this month. The first being tonight with the theme “Trailer Trash,” and the 2nd being Friday, August 25 with the theme “Marvel Vs. DC.” They will both be featuring Kitani Gemini , 92 Era Lords and special guests.

Friday, August 11

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena presents Multi-platinum-selling artists, multiple Grammy Award-winners and music icons, Lionel Richie: All The Hits with very special guest Mariah Carey. Tickets start at $36.20

Saturday, August 12

The Straz Center presents Pole for a Purpose inside the Jaeb Theater. The annual Pole for a Purpose pole dance and aerial arts showcase features performers from around the United States in this spectacular demonstration of strength and skill. Joining for the greater good, the Pole for a Purpose charity event has raised $23,000 in the past six years. For more information, visit poleforapurpose.com. Tickets start at $37.50.

 Wena’s Nightclub and Show Bar features “A Night of Comedy Queens” as they feature Bev (Miss Gulf Coast Comedy Queen), Juno Vibranz, Kathryn Nevets and Daphne Ferraro.

 Sunday, August 13

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena will host John Mayer Search for Everything World Tour at 7p.m. This tour will be comprised of a full band, solo acoustic and John Mayer Trio sets of music. Tickets start at $45.25.

Friday, August 18

The Flamingo Resort presents their annual Employee Turnabout hosted by Kenya Black (Miss Flamingo) with ShowTime at 11:30p.m. in the main bar along with raffles and lots of blackmail picture opportunities (LOL).

Saturday, August 19

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena will host Monster Jam Triple Threat Series, which is a points-based format that showcases the best lineup of Monster Jam vehicles that deliver what fans want to see most…more trucks, more racing, more freestyle, more donuts, more wheelies, more action! This series tests the versatility of the athletes as they go head-to-head in seven different competitions driving three different vehicles — Monster Jam trucks, Monster Jam Speedsters and Monster Jam ATVs. These athletes battle for points in challenging racing and freestyle events that push themselves and their machines to the limit.  Tickets start at $15.

Tuesday, August 29

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena presents Multiple GRAMMY Award-winning global superstar Ed Sheeran with special guest James Blunt. Ticket prices start at $39.50.

Hot Stuff

Hope & Help Center recently moved to a new location at 707 Mendham Blvd, suite 104, Orlando FL 32825.

   source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/07/27/whats-hot-central-florida-august-2017/ from Hot Spots Magazine http://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2017/07/whats-hot-central-florida-august-2017.html

[hotspotsmagazine]

What’s Hot Central Florida: August 2017

Friday, July 28

Southern Nights Orlando’s Flex Fridays celebrates DJ Chris Tavalare Birthday! Doors Open at 9pm, with no cover before 11pm 21+ (18+ Welcome). They will feature Drag Shows at 11pm & 12:30am with Roxxxy Andrews, Tasha Long, Maya Andrews & Chevelle Brooks as well as DJs Ants and Tavi. The Flamingo Resort presents Code: Glow Party with DJ Shannon C, sexy male dancers, and glow sticks provided.

Saturday, July 29

Parliament House presents South Beach Invasion starring TP Lords, Fantasia Royale GaGa, Missy Meyakie Lepaige, and Elishaly D’Witshes, as well as the men of Miami with beats by DJ Brianna. Flamingo Resort presents Customer Appreciation Night with a complimentary late night breakfast and Late Night at the Improv, uncensored, hosted by Iman at 11:30p.m., with doors opening in the Blu Room at 10:30p.m.

Sunday, July 30

The Dr. Phillips Center features La Bayadere at 5pm, presented by the Russian Ballet Orlando. Set in legendary India, La Bayadere tells the story of the doomed love between the noble warrior, Solor, and the beautiful temple dancer, Nikiya, who is murdered by her jealous rival, Gamzatti. In the aftermath, Solor’s grief brings him to the heavenly realm of the Kingdom of the Shades in an opium-induced dream, where his beloved appears among the many shades and tenderly forgives him for his betrayal. However, Gamzatti’s murderous triumph is short lived as her actions provoke the wrath of the gods. In retaliation, the gods destroy the temple, killing all who are responsible for Nikiya’s death, and Nikiya is reunited with her beloved Solor beyond the reach of man. Ticket  are $55.

Wednesday, August 2

Southern Nights Orlando presents Orlando Drag Race Live Season 4 hosted by Kitana Gemini. Admission is $10 with the season pass costing $45 (saves you $17, and gives you additional perks throughout the entire event season including reserved seating) and can only be purchased on Wed, August 2 or before. The dates for Drag Race are: August 2, August 9th, August 23rd, August 30th, September 13th and September 27th and is hosted by PePe. The cast for this season is: Waka Shame, Lacy Lane, Avery Valentino, Dollya Black, Juno Vibranz,  Sorcha Mercy, Rita Bane Stone,  Cara Cavalli, and Josie Milan.

Thursday, August 3

Wena’s Nightclub and Show Bar is featuring a benefit for Juno Vibranz to send her to Miss National Comedy Queen. Please join Miracle of Love, Inc. at their first feast taking place at Rubio’s Coastal Grill in Winter Park from 6-9p.m. If you mention Miracle of Love to your server, Rubio’s will donate 20% of the proceeds from your meal to Miracle of Love, Inc. – All proceeds will go towards their SMART Ride 14 fundraising efforts. For more information, contact Brett Yancey at 954-299-0554.

Tuesday,  August 8

The Straz Center presents Motown The Musical starting tonight and going through August 13. Motown The Musical is the true American dream story of Motown founder Berry Gordy’s journey from featherweight boxer to the heavyweight music mogul who launched the careers of Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Smokey Robinson and many more. Motown shattered barriers, shaped our lives and made us all move to the same beat. Featuring classic songs such as “My Girl” and “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” experience the story behind the music in the record-breaking smash hit Motown The Musical! Ticket Prices start at $28.50.

Thursday, August 10

Wena’s Nightclub and Show Bar is featuring 2 Club Kid parties this month. The first being tonight with the theme “Trailer Trash,” and the 2nd being Friday, August 25 with the theme “Marvel Vs. DC.” They will both be featuring Kitani Gemini , 92 Era Lords and special guests.

Friday, August 11

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena presents Multi-platinum-selling artists, multiple Grammy Award-winners and music icons, Lionel Richie: All The Hits with very special guest Mariah Carey. Tickets start at $36.20

Saturday, August 12

The Straz Center presents Pole for a Purpose inside the Jaeb Theater. The annual Pole for a Purpose pole dance and aerial arts showcase features performers from around the United States in this spectacular demonstration of strength and skill. Joining for the greater good, the Pole for a Purpose charity event has raised $23,000 in the past six years. For more information, visit poleforapurpose.com. Tickets start at $37.50.

  Wena’s Nightclub and Show Bar features “A Night of Comedy Queens” as they feature Bev (Miss Gulf Coast Comedy Queen), Juno Vibranz, Kathryn Nevets and Daphne Ferraro.

  Sunday, August 13

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena will host John Mayer Search for Everything World Tour at 7p.m. This tour will be comprised of a full band, solo acoustic and John Mayer Trio sets of music. Tickets start at $45.25.

Friday, August 18

The Flamingo Resort presents their annual Employee Turnabout hosted by Kenya Black (Miss Flamingo) with ShowTime at 11:30p.m. in the main bar along with raffles and lots of blackmail picture opportunities (LOL).

Saturday, August 19

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena will host Monster Jam Triple Threat Series, which is a points-based format that showcases the best lineup of Monster Jam vehicles that deliver what fans want to see most…more trucks, more racing, more freestyle, more donuts, more wheelies, more action! This series tests the versatility of the athletes as they go head-to-head in seven different competitions driving three different vehicles — Monster Jam trucks, Monster Jam Speedsters and Monster Jam ATVs. These athletes battle for points in challenging racing and freestyle events that push themselves and their machines to the limit.  Tickets start at $15.

Tuesday, August 29

Tampa’s AMALIE Arena presents Multiple GRAMMY Award-winning global superstar Ed Sheeran with special guest James Blunt. Ticket prices start at $39.50.

Hot Stuff

Hope & Help Center recently moved to a new location at 707 Mendham Blvd, suite 104, Orlando FL 32825.

    from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/07/27/whats-hot-central-florida-august-2017/

[squaredcirclesirens]

REVIEW: WSU Battle Tested

WSU hosted its event Battle Tested on May 13th in Voorhees, New Jersey in a double header with CZW. You can catch Battle Tested on the Women’s Wrestling Network and CZW Studios.

We start with Maven Bentley who explains that the main event is going to be survivor games, that the main event will be elimination style and in the “Cage of Death” mkay.

And we start off with personal fan favorite, Faye Jackson hitting the ring, dancing with the fans and coming out to Milkshake. You can see our own, Dave Muscarella in the audience tonight. Out next is Jordynne Grace who has been on quite the roll in WSU. This match was hard hitting and a hot opener to start the show. Jordynne is very talented and Faye is so charismatic. For only wrestling just over a year, Faye is incredible. There is a sick rope hung DDT spot that I hurt watching. Especially in comparison to past Jordynne Grace WSU matches, this was very competitive and nice to see, and Faye proved she was a good person to have debut for WSU. Jordynne ends up winning after a huge second rope powerbomb, but both women looked incredible and I definitely hope we see more of both of these women in WSU.

Up next we see the Fella Twins coming out with only one WSU belt. Out next is Maria Manic, alone. Maria and Penelope Ford were supposed to be challenging for the Tag Team Championships, and Maria looks frightened. Rick takes a mic and calls out Penelope not being there and is asking where she is. Rick then calls out Maria for being a rat ratting Cataldo out and then proceeds to call Maria a slut. Cataldo then yells at Maria that she is part of the Fella Twin Academy and they are going to finish her initiation. We then learn that this will be a handicap match for the WSU Tag Team Championships. Rick instantly attacks Maria with a belt with some of the most vicious shots I’ve heard in quite some time, and Maria’s back is lit up red. Where is a DQ? McQueen ends up accidentally striking Cataldo and Maria Manic is able to pin McQueen to win the match and the tag titles for her and Penelope. Definitely more of a storyline match here, but exciting to see new champions, and Cataldo has an utter meltdown.

After that we get a debuting Willow Nightingale against Lufisto coming off of her huge win against Leva Bates at Shine the night previous. This match starts quickly with a lot of quick pin attempts. Lufisto and Willow battle a lot on the outside and directly in front of Dave! Hi Dave! This match has a lot more of your traditional ring psychology and working. Lufisto targets the knee of Willow and Willow is the fun babyface in peril. It does just throw me a bit when Willow then has no issues with her knee after Lufisto has been really working it over, and then goes back to selling it after a back stabber. Lufisto is clearly a veteran for a reason, but Willow really held her own. There are some weird slow spots here, but Willow definitely has potential, Willow eventually taps to an inverted kneebar, and Lufisto is our winner. Lufisto looks to go shake Willow’s hand but ends up kicking her in the knee for good measure. This match wasn’t as good as her match with Leva, but still not anything bad.

Another debut follows with the UK’s, Lana Austin challenging for the Spirit Championship against current champion, Kiera Hogan who is clearly over with the WSU Crowd, and doesn’t have Candy Cartwright with her, so it’s great. Kiera just looks incredible on her own, and is so over with this crowd, WSU made a great decision putting the spirit title on her. Kiera lives up to her Girl on Fire name attacking Lana quickly and this match is off and hot.Lana slows the pace down and jaw jacks with a fan. Lana definitely has a strong character and very charismatic, and her heel tendencies does an even better job putting Kiera over as a strong babyface. Kiera ends up getting the win in her first defense of the Spirit Championship. Kiera showed in this match she doesn’t need a faction, she’s so good on her own and can really go.

In our pre main-event Nevaeh challenges Mercedes Martinez for the WSU Championship, in what the commentators tell us is a first time one on one match. Let’s be clear. Nevaeh got a concussion in this match, and the match did not stop. Nevaeh clearly is an incredible wrestler to be able to go with a concussion. I can’t even keep my eyes open with a headache, and Nevaeh kept wrestling with a concussion. Unreal. We here at SCS hope you are okay, Nevaeh! These two gave the match that was expected, it was hard hitting, it looked like it hurt, and It was a really solid championship match. Mercedes ends up winning with a fisherman buster in a very solid contest.

Onto our main event, the Survivor Games match between The Reckoning (Chrissy Rivera, Samantha Heights, Brittany Blake, Annie Social and Su Yung) against Team Leva (Leva Bates, Mia Yim, Veda Scott, Missy Sampson, and Xandra Bale) sporting a Reservoir Dogs gimmick. Amy Lee is announced as the outside enforcer for this match. I will say this cage is significantly better than the last cage we had in a WSU War Games match, but I digress. The match starts with Brittany Blake and Missy Sampson. After a few minutes of battle, Annie Social joins the mix and it’s a 2-1 advantage for the Reckoning. Veda Scott is in next to even it back up. The transition of Veda entering is a little slow as all of the girls are just waiting for the entrance, this gets a little messy before we see Missy Sampson get eliminated in a rollup after an enziguri from Brittany Blake and getting rolled up by Annie Social. Next, Samantha Heights enters the cage and adds to the beatdown on Veda. There is a spot where Veda takes on all three and has a cool top rope clothesline to Blake and Heights and hits a nice german on Blake. The three try multiple times to pin Veda but nobody can pin her. In comes Xandra Bale and she comes in hot against both Sinister Sweethearts while Annie and Veda battle in the corner. Finally Veda and Xandra are able to take on all three and bring us to our next entrant, Su Yung. Su decides to climb into the cage while Veda Scott gets eliminated and it is a 4 on 1 assault on Xandra Bale, who is able to stay alive until the next entrant, Mia Yim! Mia comes in hot and attacks everyone. Mia ends up nailing a package piledriver on Annie Social to eliminate her and Annie Social looks hurt. Right as we get a countdown to Chrissy Rivera coming in, Brittany Blake gets eliminated somehow, but the camera doesn’t really catch it. It’s a 3-2 battle as Leva is still on the outside. Eventually there is a 5 person tower of doom with Mia and Xandra suplexing Chrissy while getting powerbombed by Heights and Yung. This leads to our final countdown and Leva Bates entering the match who attacks everyone. There ends up being a Su Yung assisted sliced bread from Heights to Yim which eliminates Yim after a pinfall. Samantha Heights ends up climbing the cage and stands on top as the other four trade blows. She jumps off the cage in a Swanton Bomb on the four of them in the spot of the match so far! This leads to Xandra vs Samantha while the others are down and Xandra ends up applying an octopus getting Heights to tap, but is quickly then eliminated, leaving it down to Bates, Yung and Rivera. Chrissy ends up drinking some kind of liquid and tries to spray it in the face of Leva but Leva moves and it hits Su which leads to Leva hitting the Pepsi Plunge on Su (slightly awkwardly) and eliminates Su Yung. This leads to a much anticipated Leva and Chrissy battle, but Su isn’t leaving the ring. Leva applies a dragon sleeper, but Su comes up and breaks the hold which brings in Amy Lee to get Su out, but this brings Brittany Blake out with a Kendo Stick. Chrissy tries to swing, but misses and hits a sick German Suplex. Eventually Chrissy is able to take over Leva, grab the Kendo stick and nail a sick shot straight to the head and gets the win over Leva and makes her to lone winner of this match.

Overall, this was a very consistent show, albeit a little short. It is hard to pick the match of the night here. Clearly, the Survivor Games match had the biggest story and still leads us to wonder where this takes us. However, with that many women in one match there were some delayed spots which hindered the overall flow. However, it was still really good. With that being said there is no "bad" match on the card. You can argue the tag titles wasn't much of a match, but the story behind the Fella Academy carried this match for us, and those belt shots were sick. If I had to pick a match of the night, I would personally go with Kiera Hogan vs. Lana Austin. In the very least, Kiera Hogan is my MVP. I'd give a runner up match of the night to Mercedes and Nevaeh and Faye Jackson and Jordynne Grace. But again, there simply is no match to bat an eyelash at. But will I remember any of these matches in a year? Probably not. Especially in comparison to what Lufisto/Bates and Green/Kay did at Shine.

REVIEW: WSU Battle Tested

REVIEW: WSU Battle Tested

60

60%

Consistent

Overall, this was a very consistent show, albeit a little short. It is hard to pick the match of the night here. Clearly, the Survivor Games match had the biggest story and still leads us to wonder where this takes us. However, with that many women in one match there were some delayed spots which hindered the overall flow. However, it was still really good.

With that being said there is no "bad" match on the card. You can argue the tag titles wasn't much of a match, but the story behind the Fella Academy carried this match for us, and those belt shots were sick. If I had to pick a match of the night, I would personally go with Kiera Hogan vs. Lana Austin. In the very least, Kiera Hogan is my MVP. I'd give a runner up match of the night to Mercedes and Nevaeh and Faye Jackson and Jordynne Grace. But again, there simply is no match to bat an eyelash at. But will I remember any of these matches in a year? Probably not. Especially in comparison to what Lufisto/Bates and Green/Kay did at Shine.

I give this show the same rating I give Shine 42, but for a completely different reason. To me, WSU was more consistent in the fact that there wasn't a bad match, or a super weird story out of left field, and everything was good, and I never looked at my watch once to see how long this was going. But I feel each of these matches, with a bit more time, and some with flow could have had some show stealers, but did not give us a single bad match. Still very much worth a watch.

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