#dont worry they banned russia tho

[despazito]

They got french troops acting as bodyguards for israeli olympians and you bitches won't shut up about reuniting daft punk for the ceremony

[8771eh]

Feel It In My Bones

@sidgenophotochallenge

The curtain hung limply from the curtain rod above the window in his direct line of sight. It was pulled close and let no hint of light through.

He didnt know if it were day or night and that was fine.  He preferred it that way if he were able to really prefer anything at that moment.

What he knew was he had screwed up. Monumentally. He didnt know how he could ever come back from the screw up he had made. He knew he didnt deserve to be involved in the outside world. He needed to stay right where he was, sprawled on the California King mattress with the sheets tangled around his legs.

He could feel how tacky his skin was from the various fluids that had dried across him. He hated that feeling. He deserved to lay with that feeling on him as he was banned from time. Forbade himself from knowing how bright the sun shone or how full the moon was.

But he could still tell. His bones knew where the moon was. Knew how long before it rose or sank in the sky and how close to full, he could feel him too. New but distant, so distant, too distant. But he deserved that now.

He knew what it meant when he signed with the NHL. He knew what part of his life would be locked away. What part wouldnt be allowed to ever find fulfillment and that was ok. It was fine. It was the choice he wanted.  It was hockey and the ice and clack of pucks on tape and slice of blades on ice were as deep in his bones as the call of the moon.

He knew being a wolf was one thing, being a wolf who preferred males was going to be difficult but then entering the world of the NHL as a wolf was bad enough to make him agree to lock away his personal desires. To ignore the pull to his friend; his alternate. He who held the position of an alpha's mate in a wolf pack in his team where he was both alpha and captain. It was masochistic. A constant reminder that he had chosen to give up that option when Mario called his name at the draft.

How else was he to respond after years of stuffing and pining when his alternate pressed him against the SUV-toe to toe, knee to thigh, hip to stomach, forehead to forehead before nuzzling his nose to Sid's then going in for a kiss. How else was he supposed to respond when something he had long denied himself offered itself up?

He was a stupid man in many ways but he liked to believe he was not an idiot. He took that which was offered. And it was good. Beyond good. He was a challenge and he made Sid want to be better to prove himself and to luxuriate in the attention he was given. They fit together in so many ways and they knew eachother so well it showed in their movements on that California King mattress. What else was he supposed to do when the words were whispered to bite him. To mark him. Change him. Mate him.

He was stupid and then he proved he was an idiot. Because the sheets were askew and cool except his own body warmth, the sweat and saliva and blood and cum was stiff on his skin and he was alone.  As he knew he should be for his promise to hockey. He couldnt have a true mate and when he had allowed himself to hallucinate the one person he wanted verbalize his own wishes he forced his ways on him. He forced him to become something different from who he always was.

And he left.

And now he was alone.

He was lonely. So lonely because he could feel his mate and the distance and knew he had been rejected. It made him ache to howl, to sing his grief to the moon. But he didnt deserve that relief. He deserved to carry this burden and lonesomeness for his actions.

His phone vibrated on the dresser and he haphazardly reached for it. His knuckles dragging across the rich fibers of the sheets, slamming into the wood of the beside table and then fumbling to grasp the phone. The light was bright and caused him to wince.

Taylor: who is it, Squid?

Taylor: dad took mom's phone so she couldnt call you.

Taylor: Sid, it's been 3 days. Who is the new pack member? Do I know them?

He looked at the time stamps spread across three days with more missed calls and voicemails then he wanted to think about.

As he glanced up at the time, his phone started to vibrate. A Skype call with a penguin emoji next to the number 71. He stared at the incoming call, his body feeling a rush of so many emotions before numbing. The call stopped and he felt his exhale shudder.

The phone started to vibrate again and as ant true idiot would he pressed the accept button.

The screen filled with a familiar sight:  a bare chest and shoulders and an exhausted expression on the face at the top of the screen. The bruising wound at the juncture of his shoulder and neck the largest and ugliest of the bites, bruises, and scratches scattered across Geno's visible skin. He was sat up in his bed, the pillows propped behind him. His phone on the pillow closest to his shoulder.

'Sid,' Geno started with relief. His smile was as tired as he looked. Sid stared at him unsure of what to do, his voice frozen and his mind syrup slow as he tried to piece together why Geno could be calling. Why he doesnt look angry or disgusted.

'Been trying to call you and you not answer. It's been days, Sid. I'm worrying most about you.' Sid watched as Geno's fingers trace the bite mark near his neck with his finger tips. Sid's eyes transfixed on the delicate and tender brushes. 'Skin feel like is crawling. Like cannot sit still whole flight. Sid, fly to Russia always too long but this feel like not comfortable in own skin further away from Pittsburgh I get. I'm make huge mistake, Sid. Most big mistake and just so sorry.'

His head sinks below his shoulders, his eyes fixed to the mattress below his hand. The rush of emotions surging an against the numbness. His insides twisted with the desire to howl in agony; to release the burn of the confirmed rejection.

'Most stupid for kissing you night before fly home. I'm like most big coward. Not think you feel same way. Mama so mad at me, Sid. She sees your mark when I come home and she hit me.' Geno chuckles fondly. 'She  saying like, I'm most stupid for leaving you. Not think of how you think. Is, uh, she say is like not uh,' a string of frustrated Russian flows from his mouth. Sid can feel the faintest push of frustration and helplessness in his bones. 'Like when I'm first come to Penguins and speak no English and  we like try so many ways to understand one another  but like make so much mistakes. This like that maybe. Now I think maybe she right. Maybe you think one thing that like not right answer because I'm not make like best choice. Need know I'm not hurt you. You not feel like skin want to crawl away. Like your heart is sick because something too far away.' Geno's breathing and small movements under his sheets are the only sounds for a long moment while Sid avoids looking at the screen. His skin prickles, especially the bite over his hip bone. A dull throbbing mixed with a faint attempt of soothing. He can just make out the barest brush of calloused finger tips on his hip. A ghost of their night together or a mate thing, hes not sure.

'Shit.' The rustling of sheets intensifies as Geno stands up. His footsteps sounding against the wooden floor. What sounds like the laptop being placed on a table or counter.  'Shit, Sid. Most stupid. We both are like what Horny always saying? Most hockey smart but most stupid about like heart smarts? How would you want me even tho most stupid mate who hurt you?'

'You left.' Sid stated flatly. 'You left and said nothing. Now you want me to forgive you?' He lifted his gaze to stare intently at Geno. He knew his eyes had flashed with anger and the alpha growling just below his skin. 'You leave and now you want to apologize on Skype half way across the world 3 days later?'

Geno's shoulders drooped as he kept eye contact no matter how emotional Sid may be. He reached to the bite mark on his neck and covered it fully under his palm.

'Yes. Like, I'm know I worst for this. I'm scare I get everything I'm want and not know what to do. And not like change my flight. I'm leave note in kitchen say sorry to go but call me so we talk about how we work  now we wolf marry. You never call. Not answer texts, group chat worry you not say anything. Then Tanger and Flower asking if we know who you mate because they can feel new pack member. Is most scary, Sid, and like, not handle good.' Geno shifts his head down to look up thru his lashes and exhales heavily.

Sid groaned softly as he shook his head. He rolled over in the bed and ignored as his muscles yell in protest. 'Geno, I woke up to a cold and empty bed with no word from you and only the feeling that you were far away. I'm not trying to make you feel bad on top of the separation sickness, but that's just what I went thru. Everything tells me you dont want this with me. Now you say you want me?'

'Yes. I wait so long to like kiss you but so scary, Sid. Not want make friendship or team bad. You most important to me, to team, and to pack. And I'm like most stupid. Understand if you not want most stupid mate.'

'No, I definitely want you if you're serious.' Sid smiles a small private smile as Geno's face floods with relief and joy. He may be a stupid man but he knows he would be more of an idiot to not accept the one he wants when they are asking for him. Calming the feelings of rejection. Protecting his mark with his large hands. 'We need to talk and preferably in person.'

'Yes. Mama want you come here. She not happy we make like wolf marry and not tell her. If you here we go back early see your home and maybe like your mama meet me again. Think I like good mate for Sid.' Sid smiled as Geno blushed at his own words. He leaned forward and started to ask more questions about logistics. He enjoyed watching the tension fade from Geno's face.

They were both idiots.

They could make it work.

***

'Is this her? Your new little pup?' Veronique cooed as she leaned over Catherine to stare at the sleeping baby girl. 'félicitations, ma chère ami.  Si belle' Tanger and Flower embraced in welcome as they watched their wives talk about new babies. Veronique was gesturing to her small baby bump as they spoke together. Tanger clapped Flower on the back with a wicked smile. Flower was watching his daughters rough house with Alex as pups. It was nice to be around his chosen pack .

'Oh shit.' Flower and Tanger jerked their attention towards Muzz, Rusty, Dumo and Knuckles. The men were staring at the SUV that had just pulled up. Sid stepped out of the passenger side with a relaxed smile. Flower and Tanger exchanged a look before rushing towards Sid and pulling him into an embrace.

'You smell different.' Flower declared as he scented his friend. He shifted his gaze from Sid to Tanger to the SUV where the driver had yet to exit. The pups had wandered over to explore the SUV and Beckham, Leo, Roo, and Coop had quickly moved to close in on the curious pups from the unknown.

'Like metal and spice?' Tanger suggested before his eyes widened. 'Its about fucking time!'

'Get your stupid Russian ass out here, Malkin. You need to be properly introduced to this pack.' Flower declared.

Sid grinned as Geno slid out of the car with a wicked smile. The pups and dogs yelping in excitement and tumbling over eachother to reach him. He patted Backham's head as he passed. He crossed the distance between him and Sid quickly and brushed a kiss against his forehead.

'Yes, most long time. Most lucky for best mate.' Geno grinned as Sid leaned against him with a smile. His bones didnt ache and Geno's skin didnt try to crawl away anymore. Geno's hand rested over his mark on Sid's hip with a small squeeze as he laughed along with their friends' good natured chirping.

'Flower, he thinks he has the best mate? This pup?' Tanger balks.

'Going to have to agree to disagree.' Sid added as he started to move towards the other pack members to greet them as any good captain and alpha would.

'Welcome to the pack.' Muzz shouted as he chucks an unopened beer towards Geno.