#dont want to fuck with paypal anymore tbh.

[jarwithdragonteeth]

Do you take commissions?

Not at the moment, but I am considering it in the near future :)

[twinkiplier]

 just

the biggest reasons i’m depressed right now:

the fact that you’re one of 10 at the very most people who are going to read this is definitely one of them

tbh like no one actually appreciates my blog it feels like, its just... a bunch of reblogs and no one cares about my art

like when jack reblogged one of my posts it was literally a shitpost and like, it’s slowly dawning on me that shitposts are the only thing people are gonna care about besides the things i reblog

idk none of my sideblogs are doing v well either and its like... i dont even know if i give a fuck anymore about any of this

tumblr is honestly really stupid it makes me more depressed the more i use it but my anxiety tells me i cant stop or else it might negatively impact someone’s life

and then my anxiety tells me id rather not know because what if it doesnt

like can anyone name all my sideblogs

ten of them

five

one

i work really hard on these and its not my fault i have social anxiety and just assume people would rather die than interact with me or some shitty blog i made i still dont know how i have 850 followers i think im gonna delete at 1000

im not even kidding i think im gonna delete at 1000 followers im just

im done with it

i dont want to sit around and be ignored anymore

i dont wanna work hard on art for people not to notice it anymore because its like, people tell me ‘oh u should have commissions’ but im just like bitch no one wants my art when its free why would they pay for it

and i dont understand and i dont have a bank account and i dont have a paypal and i just want people to request things because i have a bunch of other stuff i dont have done because i dont have the energy for it

17 people won my 600 follower contest

seventeen

you know how many got back to me

eight

not even half

no one wants my shit okay why do you people even follow me is it just because you like watching me hate myself and stay up so late i start hallucinating so i have someone to talk to

my threads always get dropped my sideblogs always die my conversations always end and no one talks to me 99% of the time and its not like i can just talk to someone because it takes hours to work up that kind of courage and i cant do it and then i just feel worse and i curl up and cry because i feel shitty

whatever i dont even know why im writing this nothings gonna change

im goin to bed i guess

bed being just curing up on top of the covers and crying while i pretend to sleep for a few hours until i get bored

sorry for ever existing ill stop talking now

[justimonarchive-blog]

okay so get ready for a wall of text. the pre-emptive tl;dr is that my paypal.me link is gonna be at the bottom of this post because my family needs some money to help us get through the month, now onto the long version.

basically, we’re broke. between christmas and unexpected fees coming out of all our bank accounts left right and center, we’re a bit fucked. we dont have anymore money coming into the house until the 25th of the month, and we have ~£100 to try to get us through until then and yeah its probably not going to work. i dont especially want to make this post because tbh i dont think im very much worth helping, but my family is caught up here too so here i am. im currently trying to grab myself some temp work from home, data entry or transcription or whatever work i can get that i can do from home honestly. i wish i could do more and just go out and find a job but with my health deteriorating lately that just isnt a possibility. anyway, work from home, im looking for it. which will help, but not immediately. hell it probably wont help until early next month so thats fun. im not asking for any specific amount of money, i dont care if you give a little or give a lot, just the idea of anyone being willing enough to help is more than enough for me, even if its just a few quid. or bucks for you bloody yanks. am i still going to get support if i call americans yanks? is it a slur? i should blur it out anyway. bucks to you y***s. there we go.

im not sure what else to put here, aside from the fact that if you did read this far then i cant articulate how thankful i am for you even reading this. even just a reblog will help, anything really. ill stop rambling now before i go on about nothing in general.

here is my paypal link. thank you in advance for even just giving this post so much as a cursory glance.

[myuun]

i could scream

i have money that i got from the job i worked but its in my paypal and it takes 5-7 days to transfer. we dont have anymore food aside from soup and we have been eating soup every goddamn day for a week. we thought okay we can splurge and order online

the only place that does delivery with paypal is closed until the 8th

every other place doesn’t take paypal

and i keep begging and begging to be sent money cause ive been waiting almost over two weeks and i am late for my rent by two weeks but my dad keeps delaying it cause he can’t befucked to go to the office for one minute and tell his secretary who is already frustrated with him to deposit the money i asked for two weeks ago

i know it’ll get better and blah blah blah

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT

IM TIRED OF HEARING THAT

IT SUCKS. IM UPSET AND IT SUCKS. IT SUCKS RIGHT NOW. I have money but i can’t even fucking use it, i could get more money but my dad doesn’t even try to lift a finger from his throne

AND THE ONE THIIING THAT RELIEVES ME FROM THE MONEY SHITHOLE IS SLEEP AND I CANTEVEN GET THAT PROPERLY BECAUSE I KEEP HAVING CONSTANT NIGHTMARES

EVERYYYY NIGHT 

EVERY NIGHT

and its so damn sad that ive actually gotten used to it so i pat down my crying face and go back tosleep 

its been months

and without my mood medication which tbh i thought was for anxiety but it’s actually mood stabilizers i wow now see why i was given them because i just go from semi-crazy to full on crazy 

and poor sweet jack takes the blunt of it all

i just want to go outside to the cute little patio on the third floor

and jump off to my death