#dont remember where this is from...i think its jack benny

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

[robbiethompsonlongcon]

so wait. i have questions.

if heaven connects the multiverse, what happens when multiple versions of the same person in multiple AU worlds die? do they all fuse into one entity in heaven? like, is the dean we saw in spnwin an amalgamation of every version of dean that has died and gone to heaven in every universe? what does that mean for a human soul, is each iteration of a human only a fragment of a soul? a clone? or are they individuals? do they all have separate heavens next to one another but fully inaccessible? or can you go next door and hang out with your alternate universe selves? that would be pretty disconcerting..

WAIT NO. no, that cant be right. as cool as i think it is, its not right. obviously there are multiple iterations of heaven, considering that there are multiple iterations of the angels. and it's clearly a Thing that alternate universe heavens aren't supposed to be connected, bc the AU iterations of the angels couldn't just walk through some already-established rift in heaven, otherwise the entire apocalypse world plotline would be completely moot. like, apocalypse michael could have just walked into prime universe through the rift. so how are these situated? is heaven like, partitioned out like this?

(please excuse the utterly shit quality, im drawing with my finger on a cracked phone and im bad at it)

so we have the garden which connects all the heavens, and then heaven prime partitioned off from heaven alpha, beta etc, each one then linked to their respective actual living universe? or is it more like garden -> heaven -> earth, but like sheets of paper all stacked up on top of one another in "the world between worlds" voidspace? how does that work metaphysically.

since theres au heavens and au hells, are there au versions of purgatory, or do all worlds dump all their monsters into the same purgatory? what about the empty? is every version of Cas that died in every alternate universe just piled up in the one singular empty?

(if i was a fic writer, this is where i would write about an empty rescue where dean has to wade through a sea of AU cas. i would also write a self indulgent fic where the benny we are told died in prime universe was not actually benny prime. but i am not a fic writer.)

if there are multiple empties, are there multiple shadows? or just the one, existing in every dimension in the same way that chuck is implied to? did god decide to be chuck in every universe, or are there universes where chuck was "just" a prophet? that would make endverse being a real alternate universe clash a little less w the final seasons.

except there's still the problem of, how could zachariah the middle management sub-choir angel (principality?? seraph?? power?? what choir is zachariah. this is so off topic.) open a portal to an alternate universe but not either of the two most powerful archangels? ive seen great theories about angels being specialists in different areas, e.g uriel smiting towns and cas taking memories (im so fucking sorry i dont remember who posted that, its so good im so sorry) but even so, why didn't apocalypse zachy just open the prime universe for apocalypse michael once he set his sights on it? so im still thinking endverse was a pocket/illusion dimension.

and when prime universe tfw released the darkness, did amara get born in every universe or just the prime one? was she still locked in the mark in other universes? if she's the same.. uhh.. species as god, and his equal, shouldnt she be just as omnipresent in the multiverse? or does that mean each universe has its own iteration of god? or would that mean he created himself? ow. paradox migraine. if prime chuck created every other chuck, then every other iteration is just a facsimile and not truly chuck. and if that's true, did they even really beat chuck by beating him in only one iteration? or can AU chuck just open a portal and idk re-grant himself godpowers? what about AU jacks, are they still nephilim? or did every version of jack become god when prime jack did?

on that note, when chuck started to destroy the multiverse, what happened to amara in those iterations and also in general? was she captive in every universe as long as she was captive in the prime universe? is she even really gods sister, or did he create her for Plot Reasons? bc in other universes, dean still had the mark. or cas had the mark. or cain kept the mark. but amara got free in, and was, as far as i remember, only a threat to, the prime universe.

and how did dean get the letter for john from henry? even if henry gave it to dean in As Time Goes By, i doubt dean carried that particular letter on his person when he died. it could be a heaven thing? anything you want, you just wish for it and you have it kind of thing. but also how did dean get bobby? obviously he went back to the roadhouse at some point? unless the point is that heaven is still an illusion since Somethings Up With Jack, and dean did the same thing with the letter, and just *wished* for bobby who popped up in the car. cause that certainly doesn't seem like a good and equal heaven, if you can just wish someone was with you and poof! they will be summoned to your side without their consent. which would mean that's Not Bobby, it's an illusion. it was never actually bobby.

so did dean even actually make it to another universe? or is he trapped in an illusion and the whole thing was a distraction, which is why jack said no meddling and then proceeded to let dean meddle in the most timeline-destabilizing ways possible, giving his parents the colt and his journal, telling them god exists and is a dick? because it doesn't matter, it never mattered because none of it was real?

im gonna rip out my hair what is this. jensen. JENSEN. what is this. i need to think.

[deeeelightfuldee]

Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept?

Hmmm. i was asked out for a lunch date with a guy. I did not accept yet. I don’t know that he’s my type.

 What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread?

Waffles. 

 Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character?

No… or if they share names with a cartoon character of some sort, it certainly was not intentionally.

 At what age did you get your first CD player, if you can remember?

Like 8ish

 Do you remember the first CD you ever owned? What was it?

Im pretty certain it was shania twain

 Have you ever owned any music on cassette tape?

A looooooot. I used to take some of the ones my dad didnt use for deejaying.

 What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try?

Cuddling. -.-

 At what age did you begin using the Internet, social media etc.?

I didnt use social media until adulthood. I did use internet for xanga and even earlier for like AIM and such… probably 9?

 Do you remember what you were doing last night at 9PM?

I was in the shower

 When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind?

I tried on a hat at the store. Surprisingly, i can pull hats off pretty well. Unfortunately, i have a over-heating problem and hats trap heat.

 What was the last thing you wore that belonged to someone else?

A tank top that used to be moms.

 The last time you saw your sibling(s), what were they wearing?

Ooof. ok i saw my oldest brother driving down a road in my town and we were driving in the opposite direction.. I believe he was wearing a gray tshirt and i assume jeans.  My other brother i havent seen in a while. I think he was wearing dark clothing but i could be wrong. My sister its been since my last flight and i think she was wearing jean shorts and a pink tshirt but again, dont quote me.

 When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour?

I had ice cream yesterday and it was chocolate peanut butter thankfully.

 If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you?

No, never. Im pretty certain my cycle is extremely jacked from being chronically ill. I only have a cycle like 4x a year. Maybe if that.

 Tell me about something within the last week that made you chuckle/giggle.

I read a book that was written in SUCH a witty, sarcastic tone.. I was legitimately laughing out loud repeatedly.

 What does your first name mean? Do you think it suits your personality?

Goddess divine. Beauty. Fertile. Perfect. looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool.

 Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in.

Omg everything. Its small town oriented and very charming.

Have you ever met anyone named Isobel? Tell me a little about this person.

Not the same spelling. She had a really snotty dog, her mom was a hippie, her dad was basically a child. 

 How far away from your house is the nearest library?

Approximately 2 minute drive

 When was the last time you were at a bookstore? Did you buy anything?

Two days. I didn’t at that particular bookstore but i went to a different store and bought books. Go figure.

 What colour are the shoes you wear most often? How long have you had them?

Black. Like two years.

 Look around the room and name any item that’s green.

Blanket, books, plant, wreath, candle

 Do you have any alcoholic beverages in your fridge right now? Which ones?

Yes, which is ironic cus we never drink lol. Ciders, michelobs, i think a couple others but tbh i seldom drink.

 Finally, what is something you do every day that brings you joy? :)

Check the weather. Snuggle benny. Light a candle. Do my makeup.

 Do you remember much from high school?

A good amount. Some stuff is totally gone, but im grateful for that. Highschool was a very emotionally abusive (and often phyiscally abusive) time for me

 Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon?

Id love to go to like switzerland. But tbh, maybe not for a honeymoon now that i think of it. Hmmmm i would really need to think about that.

 Can you access the roof of the building you live in?

No. i mean if i had a ladder sure, but i dont. So no.

 Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand?

Yes many people. 

 If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get?

Either a very small symbol, or initials. 

 What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly?

I dont really like podcasts. They dont do much of anything for me.

 Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist, and why do you think this is?

Im a VERY strong optimist. I struggle being surrounded by constant pessimism. I think i was for so, so long and that just made me realize 100% that will never be me.

When was the last time you moved house?

I moved in 2018-2019 to be by my sister for a year

 Have you ever held a gun? Did you fire it?

Yes and yes

 Do you like simple questions or deep questions that make you think?

A mixture of the both

 How long have you been using Bzoink?

I really dont use it. Ive been on there a handful of times

 When was the last time you threw up? Why were you sick?

Couple weeks ago. Im not sure, but it happens.

 Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed)

Lol i was

 What brand is your laptop or computer?

asus

 Would you ever wear a bright orange shirt?

I have several. I prefer pink tho.

 What was the last thing you wrote in a word document?

This survey. My computer restarts every couple minutes so i put the survey into a word doc to write it and then copy it into tumblr. Otherwise it gets deleted which just happened

 Who do you miss and what do you miss about them?

K. a lot. We used to just enjoy one another so much. Like we both would actively take one another along through our day. It used to feel like your very best friend in the whole wide world was right with you throughout every day. But over the last year and a half it just changed so drastically. I started feeling like very pathetic because i would practically be begging for his time or attention. When he would message me he was often complaining about work, how he was feeling, other people, etc. he lost interest in me. And honestly, i became the worst version of myself because i was so hell-bent on trying to convince him to come back to who he was. I like lived for the hours between 5-9 because he was out of work and home. But it honestly was so awful. We were awful to each other. I dont want to keep doing that to him. And at the same time, i dont want to feel this way anymore. I think its truly run its course. Hes lost me and its okay. It will be okay.

 What were the best and worst costumes you’ve ever worn?

Worst: a sheet. Best: i was a really cute bumble bee once.

 Do you know anybody who is gay and married?

Yes i do

 What did you last take painkillers for?

Its been a hot minute. I dont know. Probably a headache.

 Have you ever shared a home with a friend?

Alix lived here as a kid

 What’s the craziest or weirdest place you’ve ever slept?

Hmmm i dont really sleep anywhere crazy. The floor i guess

 What did you have for lunch today and who made it?

I heated up some gf pasta stuff. It was ok.

 Do you believe in anything supernatural like ghosts or ghouls?

no

 How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

Ive been taking 2-3x the recommended dosage of sleeping pills and it basically knocks me out cold for an obscene amount of time. Im pretty sure its somewhat dangerous to do so, but oh well. 

Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out?

Gluten. Everytime i eat something containing gluten my stomach cramps SO bad and ill either have to puke or ill have to go to the bathroom like every 20 mins. 

 What’s your favourite Thai dish?

Pad thai is okay but there is this one dish i had before but i have no idea what the name of it was. But it was like a crunchy pb chicken thing.

 Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for?

Not currently, no

What are you going to do when this survey is over?

Probably a couple more. Just kinda in the mood

 Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it?

Yep. many times. Some are really fun, some are mediocre, some are awful. Welcome to dating.

 What colour is the rug in your living area?

Its blue and cream

 Do you call it a couch, sofa, lounge or something else entirely?

Couch usually

 Who is your favourite character on Friends?

Uhhhhhhhh any i suppose

 When was the last time you used a pair of headphones and what for?

I wear headphones at the gym and i go 5-6x a week

 Describe the temperature of the area you’re in right now.

It feels a little warm. Im in my living room. Its probably like 73 or so. I meant to turn on the fan but i sat down before i remembered and my foot is asleep.

 Who was the last very physically attractive person you saw?

Someone online. I was like WOW. wowowowowowowowoowowowow. Wow. wow. 

 Have you ever had teppanyaki?

No. i havent

 How long does it take you to get ready before you go somewhere?

It all depends. What sort of getting ready is required. Is this a gala? Is this the pumpkin patch? The grocery store? Etc. have i already showered? Is my hair dry? If i have to shower and need to do full hair, makeup, and decent outfit… i prefer to have like an hour to an hour and a half. It is SO not necessary. If i need to be quick i can do all that and be ready in like 25 mins.

 Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions?

Sometimes. It depends the sentimental value

 What sort of games do you like to play?

board/card games. I wish i had a friend nearby who would come over and play games regularly.

 What was the last candy you ate?

Hmmmm i think a twix.

 Have you ever been hit in the face? What’s the story?

Yes. and no thanks.

 Do you know anyone who is deaf?

I do. Many people actually

 Name one thing on your bucket list.

See all 50 states.

[revwinchester]

Centerfold - Part 5

Summary:  Dean stumbles across an interview and photoshoot starring his high school crush (and younger brother’s friend) Castiel.  He decides he’s going to stop at nothing to get back in touch with the boy with the blue eyes who used to sit in front of him in homeroom.

Genre: Mostly fluff with a touch of angst

Pairing: Destiel

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel

Word Count: 1510

Series Warnings: AU - No Supernatural, Porn Star Cas, Mentions of Sex (but no depictions), Bastardization of SPN Lines, Scenes, and Episode Titles

A/N: This whole series came out of a prompt for @thinkwritexpress-official​‘s Back To School Challenge!  The fic is based on the J Gelis Band song “Centerfold” in which a man finds his high school crush on the pages of his favorite porn magazine.

This is the second to last part of the fic!  Yikes!!

Find it on AO3

Centerfold Masterlist

Dean was on his way home from the garage, giving himself a pep talk as he drove.  “You can do this.  Just man up and say ‘hello.’  It’s two damn syllables, it should be easy.  You’ve got this.”  Dean’s thumb, which had been hovering over the call button on his phone, touched down on the screen and he pressed the device to his ear.  The phone rang twice, like it usually did, and then Castiel’s voice sounded through the earpiece.

“Hello?”

Dean opened his mouth to speak but, once again, he found himself tongue tied.

“Who the hell is this?” Cas asked his voice sounding angry, “Why do you keep calling?”

They were questions Castiel had asked before but Dean had never been able to answer out loud.  Dean pulled his phone from his ear and hung up quickly, tossing it onto the seat next to him with frustration.  He muttered to himself, berating his failure as he wondered what Cas thought of all of these phone calls.  “Probably nothing good,” Dean mumbled into the quiet of the car.

Another mile or so down the road, there was a car stopped on the side of the road, its four way flashing lights turned on.  Dean, needing a win, decided to stop and see if he could help out.  He pulled over behind the vaguely familiar Lincoln Continental, though he couldn’t place why he recognized the car.  It wasn’t one that he’d worked on at the garage recently, at least.  Someone was leaning into the trunk, looking for something and as Dean got out of his Impala, he could see what the trouble was.  The rear passenger tire was completely flat.  

“You need a hand?” Dean called out as he approached.

The person at the trunk stood up and turned around.  “I seem to have a flat tire.  I’ve got a spare back here but no jack,” he explained.

Dean recognized him immediately.  Cas.  It was Cas.  Here in Kansas.  His gravelly voice sounded even deeper in person than over the phone.  Dean pushed down his panic at being face to face with the object of his desire as best as he could.  “What are you doing here, Cas?” Dean questioned, regretting his words and tone immediately.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” Cas asked, a look of confusion on his face.

‘Shit,’ Dean thought, ‘I’ve already messed this up.’  “Yeah, uh, sorry.  Dean Winchester, we went to high school together.  I was just surprised to see you back in town.”  Dean looked at Castiel’s car, something he could talk about without messing up, he hoped.  “So, without a jack, it’s pretty much impossible to change your tire here.  I work at Singer’s Auto.  I can call the guys and get you towed and then give you a ride to wherever you were headed.”  Dean hoped that he didn’t sound too eager.

Cas scoffed.  “You don’t have to do that… Dean, right?” he replied.  “I’ll figure something out.  I’ve got AAA.”

Dean was already jogging back to his car for his phone.  “At least let me call the guys to give you a tow,” he insisted.  “You won’t get anything quicker with triple A and Singer’s is the best shop in town.  The guys won’t over charge you or upsell you on work you don’t need.”  He made the call before Cas could disagree.  At least he’d have another chance to see the angel who had been haunting his dreams for the past month when Cas came to pick up his car the next day.  

Dean turned, giving Cas the chance to tell him to hang up but, to his relief, he was met with a small smile and a “Thank you, Dean.”  Once he hung up, he turned back to Cas.

“Benny is on his way.  Here’s my card so you know where to find your car.”  Dean handed Castiel a business card that proclaimed him manager of Singer’s Auto.  “You sure I can’t give you a lift.  You used to be good friends with my brother, Sam, and we were in homeroom together our senior year, I think,” Dean tried.  He didn’t just think they had shared the start of their day, he knew that Cas had been there, always sitting in front of him, just out of reach, but he didn’t want to come on too strong.  “I swear I’m not some creeper…”  Dean’s voice trailed off as he realized that a creeper was exactly what he had been towards Cas over the past month.  

Cas looked at him for a moment and chuckled at some private joke.  “Sam’s brother… I remember you now,” Cas acquiesced.  “I’m sure you’re not a creeper, as you put it, I just don’t want to inconvenience you, I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than drive an old acquaintance around.”  

Dean kept himself from fidgeting, especially when Cas had said he wasn’t a creep.  “It’s really not a big deal.  Sam and I live together but he always works later than me,” he explained, “so there’s no one to miss me for the next couple of hours anyway.”  Dean could see that he almost had Cas convinced so he amped up the charm.  “Look, Cas, I honestly don’t mind and, if I’m being honest, most of my memories about you from high school involve me not being the most pleasant person that early in the morning… let me make it up to you and prove that I’m not a jerk after about 9 AM.”

Castiel smiled and nodded, “Alright, Dean, thank you.”  He followed Dean over the Impala and climbed into the passenger seat.  

Dean watched Cas out of the corner of his eye as the man took in his baby.  He appreciated how Cas reverently ran his hands across the leather of the seat and Dean loved the look of joy on his face as his eyes roamed the car’s interior.  Dean would be lying if he said he hadn’t imagined Cas sprawled out across the hood of his baby after seeing his shoot for Hot Rod Hotties and he wanted to ask Cas what he was thinking as he drank in the car but those words wouldn’t come.  Instead he asked, “So, where were you headed when your tire went flat?”

Cas jumped a little, as if Dean’s question pulled him out of a daydream.  “Oh, right,” he said, “I was on my way to the police station, actually.  I hope that’s not too far out of your way.”

Dean was surprised by Castiel’s answer and his breath hissed out between his teeth.  “It’s not but, uh, why were you heading there? If you don’t mind me asking.”  He started the car and pulled back onto the road, trusting that Benny would take good care of Castiel’s car.

Cas looked over at Dean, studying him as he drove.  “I need to file a police report, it’s actually why I’m back in Kansas,” he shared.  His voice was quiet but, to Dean’s relief, he didn’t seem afraid of whatever was bringing him to the police.  “I stayed in California for work after college but over the last month, my modeling has earned me a stalker and all of the phone calls are coming from this area.”

Dean didn’t like the sound of that and he was suddenly glad he had found Cas on the side of the road rather than whoever was…

“Oh, shit…” Dean realized.  It was him.  He was the stalker.  Luckily his words didn’t give him away and he was able to play it off as sympathy, rather than the recognition that it was.  “Hey, you know what?  The cops’ll be there all night,” Dean offered, attempting to change the subject and putting off his becoming the center of a police report.  “Why don’t we grab something to eat before I take you over there.  My treat.”

Cas was an easier sell than Dean had expected and, soon after, they were seated in a booth at the back of The Roadhouse with a couple of beers and food on the way.  The pair caught up and got to know each other, Dean not wanting to waste the one night he’d probably ever get with Cas.  They ate, drank, and laughed, Cas calling Dean out for some of his more asshole moments in high school and Dean apologizing by buying another round of beers.  Between the way Castiel’s eyes glittered when he would smile and the deep, resonant sound of his voice as he told Dean stories about his life in California, the evening was only reinforcing the crush that Dean had managed to harbor for the past fifteen or so years.

Dean was having an amazing time and, though it would ruin things between him and Cas, he knew he had to come clean about the phone calls.  He really didn’t want to bring them up but he took a deep breath and steeled himself for the conversation that would ruin everything.

“So, Cas, about your stalker…”

If you would like to be added to (or removed from) one of my tag lists, please send me an ask and let me know!  The lists I’m tagging for this fic are story specific and then my forevers and my Destiel tags (if anyone signs up for that one).

Centerfold Tags: @shutupiminlooove

ALL THE TAGS! (forevers): @deathtonormalcy56 @supernaturalyobsessed @roxy-davenport @sumara62 @ginamsmith @gallifreyansass @samwinjarpad @hexparker @thinkwritexpress-official @atc74

Destiel Tags from @mrswhozeewhatsis: @mrswhozeewhatsis @thinkwritexpress-official @deandoesthingstome @manawhaat @thegleegeneration @SinceriouslyAmellPadalecki @ferferelli @fangirling-instead-of-working @chrisatplay @faith-in-dean @mamaimpala @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @curliesallovertheplace @skybinx-blog @purgatoan @impossible-box @deansleather @faegal04 @sunriserose1023 @dr-dean @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @saving-things-hunting-family @jotink78 @i-dont-know-how-to-write @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @mysaintsasinner @besslincoln-bruh @shelovesallthethings @klaineaholic @hexparker @rockhoochie