#dont read npc dialogue?
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Week 1 impressions of TotK
(No spoilers)
It feels...... Overtunned.
Like combat is punishing, not quite hard I don't think, but very very very punishing. I have about 10 hearts now and 20 armor score total and I'm still getting one shot by quite a few things if I go in swinging.
But the window for things like flurry rush and deflection has been pretty substantially increased. And the game keeps throwing stuff to make fire, ice, lightning, smoke, confusion, all kinds of crazy stuff at me. It very very clearly wants me to be using all the tools in the kit to make combat easier.
I can tell that once I fall into the groove the game wants me to be in I'll have a wonderful time, but anytime I stray outside of that groove and try to brute force my way through a problem the game decides to wear my skin as a new suit.
Which is..... Fine? I guess? I think it's going to turn a lot of people off. And I think it's much much much worse for new players to start on that BotW. The game clearly wants me to be doing stuff in a particular way, and it's very clearly designed to meat grinder you out of your BotW habits. But it feels very very unforgiving about that.
I guess to summarize my feelings so far I'd say it feels like that game world or book or story or other creative project that you have spent so much time and effort and blood and tears on, that it's now almost difficult for others to understand. It's the project you needed to stop working on about 6 months or a year before you did. It's a good game that has been so tightly wound that it's going to have some people bounce off it.
#totk#totk no spoilers#legend of zelda#i might have used the correct spelling of wound#or not. its entirely unclear#honestly im enjoying the game#but it's definitely too difficult for most people#i know for a fact my wife is going to bounce off it like rubber#which sucks because BotW is probably his favorite or second favorite game#but this is just needlessly punishing on the base difficulty#ill be interested to see if they lower damage in any of the patches m#ive already seen scores and scores of other people posting that its 'too hard'#i dont know if I'd say its 'too hard' but i would say its unenjoyably punishing#like they really really wanted to push you#to do stuff the way they wanted#but it's def too much stick#not enough carrot#about those gameplay incentives#and they have applied that to everything#dont read npc dialogue?#cool#have fun never finding a single fairy fountain#tear off right after being given the ability to leave the sky island?#have fun never getting the paraglider!#hell ive been playing for about 10 hours now#and I'm going to have to look up where hestu is#i have like 70 korok seeds and no idea#where that maracas weilding fuck is#its just stuff like that
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We ought to write more Pokemon fic some time. We want to recreate the Pokemon Manners/Human Manners cheat sheet that we made a few years ago we think that this site would like the Sliding Scale Of Politeness When Greeting A New Pokemon You've Never Met Before.
#we speak#writing#we grew up with pmd games and we feel like the way that pmd pokemon's dialogue tends to be excessively... direct?#should be a feature and not a bug when any pokemon that you meet might be totally unfamiliar with your species and biology#it's probably very polite to start up front with some basic facts about yourself so they know how to act going forward#the very upfront feel to dialogue also very much helps with keeping the dialogue feel more... pokemon#people mock the series for weird npc dialogue a lot but we think that taking these things literally makes for more fun society building#it doesn't all have to fit with socially acceptable for our world we think. polite in our world isn't even consistent by household.#sometimes a polite interaction sounds like “hello! i'm poochyena! i like to chase people and bite!”#name and immediately socially useful information. now you know about the chasing people and biting so you don't assume it's rude#of course poochyena bites and chases people. it likes to do that. you can say you don't like that and it might stop doing that to You#but it will not stop biting and chasing people because that's what it likes to do and it will probably only befriend people okay with that#it makes a very specific dialogue feel that's very fun to do. we like how the pokemon world tends to treat any sort of like#disability or “weird” things as something that you just say out the gate and everyones like “oh okay”#and then treat that as Part Of Interactions going forwards. there are a surprising amount of parts of the pokemon manga#that are dedicated to working around a character's disability after one or all of their means of dealing with it get taken out#admittedly we aren't that caught up on newer content but we find the way that it tends to be just Accepted as very refreshing#making the dialogue this direct does also tend to make it read as more “childish” in english and particular because a lot of Maturity's jus#learning how to dance around what you're saying or phrase it in different ways to get your idea across differently#whereas here everything is just as direct as possible. “i don't like charmander”. “i like roasting berries”. “i want to dig things up”.#all pokemon dialogue tends to go towards being exceedingly simple and it makes for some very distinct writing#especially when you have to tackle complex situations with characters who probably dont employ that sort of vocabulary#though we personally enjoy doing this sort of stuff your mileage may vary ofc#we are biased towards this sort of thins because we find it MUCH more fun to build up what we're talking about from blocks#than to like. try and use more indirect wording that may lose things in translation#unfortunately this is not fun in irl conversation. everyone has to be on the same page and you need to use the same playbook to communicate#we REALLY wish people said what they meant though. we're really tired of being asked shit like “is this accessible”#when what they mean is “can you climb these stairs” a question which depends on the day our energy level and how things have been going#there are a lot of things we could say that would make us feel like some sort of anti sjw type guy and a lot of em boil down to just#"for the love of god dont dance around a Sensitive Topic just get to the point and ask us about it this just makes things harder for everyo
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persona 3 fans:
if i read the manga/watch the movies now and then play reload when it comes out, is that a decent way to experience persona 3?
#persona#persona 3#persona 3 reload#basically. ive played p5 and p4 and theyre great#and i keep seeing really cool looking fanfiction with p3 characters that i want to read#but i cant justify buying/playing the same game twice in six months#so i gotta wait til reload comes out to play it#but i really really dont want to learn the plot via getting spoiled from fic#(i know the big ending spoiler but not a lot else)#i know the games are the superior experience. and theres a lot of stuff i love about the persona games#that doesnt translate well to other mediums#like how the background npcs dialogue shows them growing thru the year as well. i love that and im sure its not in the adaptions#but idk if i have the self control to not spoil myself until february#also manga vs movies which is better. they seem to be about equal based on what ive been googling
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the dude whose content i tend to recommend as a better alternative to pat's unhinged rambling put out a new video in his 3 part skyrim series and he has bad stormcloak takes too
(i dont feel like being eloquent so im just gonna ramble in the tags)
#i shouldnt be surprised considering pat promotes him at the beginning of his video but i was holding out hope#its at least a little more sound than pat's owning the libs rant#dude makes salient points using ulfric's dialogue and tries to argue that 'skyrim belongs to the nords'#refers not to removing every other race but to returning control of the province back to its ''native'' inhabitants#instead of the empire (full acknowledgement here that nords as native inhabitants is incorrect but it's the easiest way to summarize this#point he's making. significant amounts of the land belong to the forsworn etc)#which from galmar and ulfric's dialogue may well be true given they dont Bar you from joining the stormcloaks and seem to lean more into#the imperial conflict when prompted#but regardless of what ulfric and galmar may say the overall influence of their movement has incited racism on a mass scale and they grey#quarter and argonian dockworkers still exist#stormcloak aligned npcs as a whole will still insult you and tell you you dont belong unless you're a nord#dude argues that the two guys harassing the dark elf woman in the front of windhelm arent representative of the stormcloaks because they#arent soldiers but theyre clearly aligned with ulfric's side#(he also insists that the woman saying it's 'not [her] fight' (irt the civil war) is selfish on her part somehow#and then goes on to give the whole 'but the dark elves are meanies too >:(' argument pat does#theres also the ex stormcloak guy who talks directly about ulfric being a racist but op writes him off because his dialogue mentions#khajiit caravans and the like who he says arent ulfrics citizens#but it reads more to me as bad bethesda writing than that dude being written to have shit arguments#as op and pat are trying to posit#i dunnou man I think if we're gonna argue this we need to look at what the game actually gives us and not what we think#bethesda was TRYING to say if we're gonna pick apart this questline in good faith#you cant just be like 'well i think todd didnt MEAN for them to be as racist as they are so theyre not THAT bad'#and then take all the other content in the game at face value and criticize it that way#cake eating it too etc#anyway sorry for being MIA outside of the queue im working on a restraining order against the wizard at work
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also theres this npc in world // zero in the first area that says "im gonna grow up to be a summoner just like my dad" and in the new 10th area you can actually find him with a summon next to him and he says like "i became a summoner, just like my dad! he was the very best..." and i kid you not i nearly cried
#I SAW THE GREATER SUMMON NEXT TO HIM AND WENT NO...... IS THIS..............#FOR FURTHER CONTEXT#THIS WAS ONE OF THE ONLY NPCS WHOSE DIALOGUE I EVER READ IN THE GAME#CAUS EU DONT INTERACT THEY JUST TALK IF U GET NEAR THEM#AND LIKE. MAN#ofcuorse dawn is penetrable by sweet video gam e story
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Imma be honest, ZaelxCalista doesn't come ANYWHERE CLOSE to ZaelxMina, they're so damn cute. I'll gladly take Calista in place of Zael
#the last story#Calista#Calista Arganan#Zael#Mina#Dont remember her ? She's the merchant that spilled lemons!#I literally read all the npc's dialogue throughout the game but its fandom is dead so there's no one talking about them#im going insane
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love these little fellas but can someone with vroh lore knowledge explain to me why one of them is a kidou
New Victory Road character illustration - Raimon Junior High!
#if they make the guy kidou's kid im sobbing#please make him adopted dont ruin my gay kidou yuuto dream#he doesn't look a bit like yuuto but knowing level 5 shit could mean anything#is it obvious i didnt read npc dialogue in vroh
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OPINIONS ON KAIDAN EE/IF???
My honest reaction:
in all seriousness, if you wanna hear me yap about it, more under the cut
warning like, genuinely a ginormous yap, like a HUMUNGOUS, sleep-deprived yap,,, im cursed to be obsessed with skyrim + modded followers instead of touching grass
I think a lot of this is probably gonna be the same thing other people have said, so im sorry
if you feel i'm gonna be bringing up redundant points and get mad at me😓dont read
I haven't experienced and thus won't talk about the versions of EE and IF that are now separate mods from each other. I don't know anything about that.
if they're better now yayyy but this is about pre-separation
I should preface this with the fact that I've played through Skyrim 3 times with different stages of Kaidan EE/IF:
The initial Dawnguard + fixes/miscs mod
Kaidan EE/IF versions before extensive faction/NPC dialogue for Kaidan
EE/IF w/ NPC Dialogue (AKA Fratpack)
I was also part of the two different discords that were purged and created during these intervals. i don't even know if there is a discord currently?
anyway, that is to say that I have experienced the mod and it's behind-the-scenes progress, extensively so I have a pretty good idea of what I liked and didn't like
That being said, I will introduce probably my biggest problems with it: Tonal whiplash
Okay, well the most common complaint is ofc that a lot of the writing is out of character - and I agree. But it's not just ooc on paper, it's his voice too. I swear, it is very jarring hearing hushed, mild og Kaidan 2 voicelines, and then being deafened by EE Kaidan SCREAMING in my ear ALL.THE.TIME. (like... why are you yelling at me rn jeez)
Seriously. I'm not sure why they didn't just re-record everything from the original mod instead of adding more and more contradicting lines on top of the originals. It definitely could have been a standalone mod, and sometimes it almost feels like it is - because he is just so different.
My most infamous moment in my last playthrough with him happened after we defeated the dragon at Kynesgrove. His og Kaidan 2 dialogue played first, in it he shows interest and is cordial about Delphine ("I wouldn't mind prodding her mind" or whatver dialogue), THEN immediately after his Kaidan EE/IF dialogue will play, in which he walks up to Delphine and STARTS YELLING AT HER AND INSULTING HER - like they argue for quite a bit wtf. And it's like, listen, I have my thoughts about Delphine, but whether or not it was okay to yell at her isn't the problem. It would be fine - IF he hadn't just calmly told me he thought she was okay.
It is sooo confusing how he contradicts himself :(
I mean, yeah, fragments of who he is are still there, I can tell it's Kaidan, but he's warped to fit a different character. Like a con-artist Kaidan.
Anyway, besides the contradictions, it also feels out of character because of his established backstory.
Let's go over it: He's an orphan, lost his only connection to his family(his guardian) to drugs, fell into substances himself, joined a violent cult, had to escape said cult, came clean from his addictions, has been traveling Tamriel bounty-hunting, got brutally attacked by the Thalmor, rescued by mere chance. Do you honestly mean to tell me this man would be yelling, pissing, drinking, lewding, and joking his ass off?? After all that???? NO - or maybe not these levels of extreme. (maybe some other dude might, but Kaidan's characterization insists he is a brooding, keeps-to-himself man, even though he never acts like it anymore)
That man should be tired, and he did feel like he was tired in the original. He was more brooding then than he is now, usually silent, but could still have an edge of comedy/wittiness, he was smart, he had been through a lot!
In that regard, EE/IF Kaidan felt like... we are experiencing Kaidan 10 years in the past - like a Kaidan in his early 20s when he was still a drunkard low-key terrible person. He is just so energetic, always yapping - GOD he talks a lot now. ugh but most of the time it wasn't about anything, it was either inside-jokes, meta jokes, and only occasionally did we get things that added to the experience.
For example, I think most of us who have played Kaidan 2 remember at least one specific line he has said while exploring. What comes to mind for me is either "Can you smell the magicka in the air too? Smells like a rainless thunderstorm." or "Watch for the mammoth with the carvings on their tusks, that's how the giants mark their herd." Alright, both pretty nice small talk for characterization (he IS smart) and worldbuilding.
Tbh i can't really remember any iconic lines from the additions of EE/IF Kaidan... the only two lines that stood out for me were: the "elevenses" line from the clip above (started bumping into him every time he was about to say this so he would stfu... total tonal dissonance), and one he said while I looted Lucky Lorenz ("poor sod wasn't as lucky as his namesake would have you believe!") kai HOW do you know this man, and his nickname, who told you that??? (idc about it that much but its like the only other added line i remember)
I thought that maybe his ooc-iness might have been caused due to the collaborative approach of the mod, I think the mod authors created their own perfect Kaidan - and that's good for them! It takes a shit ton of work (Ik cuz i was there!!) But I think the original essence was lost with each addition. It might have been lack of direction for the voice acting too, a lot of the lines might have hit better if they weren't borderline screamed.
Okay, at some point while playing I got so tired of his constant himbo chit-chatter that I tried tuning him out and bringing other npcs from vanilla skyrim as followers. Problem: even without kaidan on your party, everything starts being about kaidan. Because the extension made it so that Kaidan either has history with/character interactions and development with different NPCs from the base game.
The main poor sods that traveled with me:
Erik the Slayer: Apparently was Kaidan's childhood friend, got inspired by Kaidan to become an adventurer. Least egregious in my opinion, they say sweet things to each other. I swear, Kaidan yells more at me than he ever did at Erik.
The Companions: dumb, dumber, and dumbest basically.. This part of EE/IF was also known as "The Fratpack" and y e a h they pretty much had Vilkas, Kaidan, and Farkas acting like immature frat boys all the time. Just,, absulutely taking away all the maturity out of these GROWN ASS MEN. im sorry, i guess i dont get the appeal. I liked it when they didn't behave like teens (Aela im so sorry, you deserved better than being part of this)
Lydia: All she does is simp for him, ALL.THE.TIME. You think she's about to have a meaningful thing to say? nope, she's checking out Kaidan's ass. Think she'll have a deep convo with another npc about one another? nope! she wants them to tell her all about Kaidan. Both the Companions and Erik will either talk down to her or have to deal with her thirst for Kaidan. i had to start leaving her home.
They also suffered from the same tonal whiplash as Kaidan, unfortunately
additionally, the mod added an "early flirt switch" - you could basically toggle Kaidan to start showing romantic affection for the Dragonborn before the amulet of mara., the interactions were good on paper, but everytime he stammered and stumbled over his words it was written in such an unnatural way... pls people don't talk like fanfics lol !!!
I did like that he gave me flowers, my inventory got full of them - but then he noticed how many flowers I had in my inventory and judged me for "picking everything i see" ugh dude you gave them to me, but also even if you hadnt... mind your business lol
Another addition was a feature that basically made it so NPCs could potentially throw flirtatious comments at Kaidan and the Dragonborn (Bishop flashbacks😨)
You can't do anything to defend Kaidan from those comments, but he WILL take it upon himself to defend your honor infront of any men, women, jarls, or criminals that even so much as find you attractive (THIS INCLUDES FARKAS AND VILKAS BTW :( ) by being rude, forthcoming, AND violent. so yea, you can guess the target audience
speaking of which, he definitely comes on too strong on you once you start the romance, and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I specifically picked the "go slow" option for the romance, and the next day or two it was him constantly complaining about having to go slow under his breath, how he wanted to do anything but slow rn... and like just, wow. :/ yikeees lmao
Maybe this is the result of "i can fix him" romance ideals? im sorry but I liked him when he was down to earth
Bonus? He comes with a campsite now, which has to be magic because its ginormous and he somehow lugs it around despite it also coming with a whole ass furnace (fine fine i'll hold my disbelief)
anyway I do like it, its basically a player house you can take anywhere (so long as kai is with you ig) also you can have a cat in there
I like that there is an MCM, I like that the MCM lets you get through the quest stages in case you get stuck
I like that he can guide you places, usually he gets stuck in a tree or rock but its the thought that counts
I think if the mod had continued in the vein as its original iteration when it was just audio/bug fixes and included these qol features it would have been better than it is now.
But it seems maybe i'm just not the target audience, and as a young woman I'm really confused as who the target audience is 😓
okay im srry rant over
if anyone else wants me to yap about other kaidan skyrim things also ask or join in cuz i like yapping about skyrim and kaidan to people!!!
#anon im so sorry you opened pandoras box with that one#my most favorite interest ever so i must yap about it#kaidan 2#kaidan skyrim#skyrim custom followers#tesblr#skyrim#tes v skyrim#kaidan mod#modded skyrim#this new kaidan is evil!kaidan he is evil he does not respect woamen#also please don't judge me for giving him a chance 3 time i thought he'd get better😔#im looking at the workshop version of him with a lil hope but EE/IF disappointed me so bad i cant trust anything anymore#pls just give my man an mcm
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know your enemy fallacy unlocked in my brain so ive played 10hrs of datv after snapping & the review isnt looking good. ive limited spoilers to just one minor one but look at thyne own risk my honest review thus far---
this game is optimized worse than early access bg3, whole environments just dont load or even unload as i run around sometimes stuff not loading for minutes at a time. i have collected loot from chests locked away clearly from places im not meant to be because the damn wall never loaded sooooooooo
dragon age 2: the sequel right down to varric clearly telling the story like he's written it already. this is not a benefit for me, thats a big negative
the prologue is incredibly disappointing after inquisition's MASTER CLASS in how to begin a game. i could literally play by play moment by moment go into why the prologue of inquisition is one of gamings best openings but haha its funny rook beat up people in bar because bad ass teehee
actually the writing overall has taken a step backwards, most quests are uncreatively predictable & the dialogue is flat & lacks any sort of life. its giving MMO quests.
the combat is fun but it doesnt work half the time with the game forgetting the mouse buttons or number buttons exist ive died twice solely because i couldnt actually attack bc the game didnt register i was clicking my mouse or pressing hotkey 1
custom character gets reset at random & i have to reload the game several times for the game to spawn the correct edited character
i would love to care about neve but its hard to give a shit when her voice actress doesnt give a shit about delivering her lines. bellana's actress over acts and thats fine considering her character but these two have scenes together and its soooooooooooo embarrassing to see which actor cared and who wanted a paycheck
actually it feels like 70% of the various cast of npcs are just flatly reading the script & its violently immersion breaking not to mention the game treats the player, the protag, AND the npcs like they are stupid. rook parroting information to a character who parrots it back is not effective or good writing thats just repeating the same words several times so the player doesnt forget, addled by this happens in scenes back to back multiple times about any major plot point which wastes time & paints me, the player, as too stupid to pay attention when i was told the first time
$80 for 40hrs of main story. youre joking. supposedly theres 60-80 overall if you 100% it but the main story can be beat in 40 flat. for eighty goddamn dollars.
so far this has been a mid tier triple a game with dragon age packaging, it took about 4hrs before i actually felt like i was playing a dragon age game vs a copycat styled game. over the shoulder camera sucks im so over this goddamn pov. it plays, looks, & feels like a sony ip in a bad way. god of war last of us resident evil ass controls camera and gameplay.
its jank, the animations glitch & ragdolling just happens, hair textures muck up, again my enVIORNENTS DISAPPEAR. despite running on ultra bc my rig can handle it the textures & some of the models are plain ps3 looking, not nice at all not a loading issue they are just poor assets.
corridor simulator. i sure love that we finally broke free of the curse origins put on da2 where we had repeat maps long hallways & got to never explore bc dai was more open world & while some of the maps were too big we have regressed to going in a straight line, limited exploration, & each widdle level gives you a chest as a pat on the head because we are playing a very pretty platformer :)c $80
why do i have health pots in boss battles, is this a zelda
companion ai is nonexistent & the tab to open the spell / ability menu to tell my companions to do their job is clunky & invasive & in previous games companion ai let the party fend for themselves just fine why does harding have to be told to heal me when any mage in origins 2 or inquisi just already knew because low health trigger
rook is just hawke again. 3 options for dialogue red purple green dont fix it if its not broke i guess but the inquisitor had more options AND the warden had tons of dialogue choices to really flesh out a character. multiple origins are nice but whats the point of these elaborate backgrounds that are constantly mentioned by both rook & npcs if i didnt get to see or play these events. it feels like im playing someone elses character or that rook isnt a player protag its just the character you play vs one you create
f to jump, not spacebar ???? thats not how video games work bioware even you know this because spacebar to jump is the default in inquisition you absolute morons
if you survived this far heres some positives, the first being that i heavily enjoy the legacy characters popping up to support various factions maevaris tilani the bad bitch that you are i gasped when she walked into frame & i could recognize her INSTANTLY which dai failed to do with its legacy cameos like teagan fiona hell even loghain and alistair are uhhhhh not great so im glad we took greater care in making these characters more identifiable
sorry, lucanis hot. im a stupid bitch who likes the crows leave me alone.
it is pretty, i will give it that its a pretty game. the artstyle is a hit or miss tho
i like when rook smiles its the same smile animation the inquisitor had in dai its very cute
transmog is cool ig
u can call solas an asshole within the first hour of the game and that makes up for negative number six bc its my review and i make the rules
im not having fun. like honestly im not. this game is disappointing but im at this point willing to finish the main story at least to get the lore and closure i want from this franchise. this game is this odd thing that doesnt fit in the series & is vastly different from its predecessors in what i see is a detriment. gaider and weeks are VERY different directors and have split this franchise in two for better or worse. while i love dai its not perfect and started the stray away from the formula leading into scary new territory but at least it felt like dragon age. veilguard just feels generic and boring as any EA or ubisoft title out there it feels like a product im aware im playing a product instead of a game. that hurts the most honestly
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YEAH i instantly knew that you didn't get to that point yet and didn't explain further as to not spoil anything! First my condolences its a fucking hard decision i dont think i'll be able to handle it when i get the game, secondly my question: Do you meet dorian regardless of the choice made here?? And does the game say anything about sacrificing minrathous means hes dies or something like that? Thank you and sorry (lol hahaha 😵💫)
Okay!!! Now that I'm thorough THAT shitshow, I'll do my best to answer lol!
So, few things-
You meet Dorian in Minrathous before you would get the quest to recruit Davrin from Varric, which is what triggers this decision. I don't think Dorian dies if you sacrifice Minrathous (he's a powerful mage who can take care of himself, a Magister, AND a returning character- if the Crows in Treviso all survive the attack there, I don't think they would put such a big stake on the other choice), but I could be wrong. I don't see a very big chance of it happening, I think he, Mae, and Viper all probably survive.
I think choosing Minrathous might cut you off from Lucanis' romance altogether, though. I used one flirty line with him before (immediately post-recruitment, it was honestly just the one that sounded the most correct, I don't even think the prompt read as flirty but it definitely was delivered as such), and as I rushed to Treviso after saving Minrathous, I got a strange piece of dialogue from him that I feel implied that he's too heartbroken.
I noticed when taking them out together before that Neve and Lucanis sounded like they were flirting a little bit (I wish I had the line, but she at least definitely implied that she was attracted to him, something about the demon having "good taste"), and after getting to Treviso, he very specifically asked if she was alright- he didn't name any other companion, so that felt significant. I think that if you go long enough with them before doing this quest, the implication of them being kind-of-together becomes more explicit. (They did say in the promo stuff at one point that there will be an NPC romance that makes a choice in the game more difficult, I didn't think it would be this one, but yeah, it definitely came earlier than I had expected.
I don't know if they will reconcile after this- it would be weird if they did, when she had all of the same exact reasons to choose Minrathous as a Shadow Dragon Rook. if they reconcile, it might be possible for Rook to still romance him too, but I wouldn't bet on it.
The choice didn't cut me off from the Treviso area, but I DID get a prompt that said that the waypoints will need to be rediscovered, and it DID remove Lucanis' personal quest from my journal, so I think I'll be reloading to just before recruiting Davrin, and doing that part all again.
Overall I think I lost like a good, idk, 2 hours of progress and Davrin for the time being, but that's with my slow, exploratory playstyle- now that I know what I'm doing, it'll probably go faster.
I won't lie and say that I'm not a little bit bitter about this, but I'm not exempt from "you can deal" when applicable either, lol.
I just wish it had at least, like, another "progress with the main quest?" prompt or something, because I gotta say, I really didn't like that the recruitment quest of the first warrior character tossed me immediately into this. Feels like Mass Effect 2, but at least there you could choose the order in which you recruit the first batch of available companions...
If you're not playing a warrior yourself (which I know most people aren't, it's definitely my preference though), three out of the four companions you get before this part are ranged (two mages, two rogues), and you're basically going the whole game until now without a tank- I think many are likely to rush into recruiting Davrin asap, and that decision fucking things up for them like this, it's... kind of weird. I don't like this aspect.
So, yeah. Might be useful to finish the Treviso and Minrathous quests before recruiting Davrin.
They are keeping me away from my Warden husband, damn it, i don't WANNA go to Treviso, I wanna smooch. :c
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we played the quest now and mostly its just like. all these recent quests are at the quality as if a child wrote them but that feels like an insult to child authors. imagine if any other game at this price point (!) put out main story updates at this quality and this playtime per month(s).....
more specific commentary under here
the dark riders still dont feel like actual villains or threats to me at all, due to the rushed and stupid way they were introduced after their design updates, combined with how bad the writing is. i feel like im just chewing on a tasteless gum when i play this. but thats an insult to gum. its very nothing. its neither dramatic nor funny nor meaningful in any way.
the writing and timing is so bad that nothing holds any real dramatic weight. i didnt feel anything about maya getting zapped - i assume shes fine tho??? - obviously yes its harmful to choose to hurt the lesbians rather than literally anyone else and its worth criticising bc ppl need to stop making oppressed characters suffer more than the not-oppressed, but also just the whole thing is handled so badly that i can barely even care bc its so fucking stupid that nothing holds any weight. at this point anything any of the charas says and does just feels completely empty.
like you could just have mr sands collapse to the ground from a heart attack in the middle of the dialogue and sabine say "lol loser" and it wouldnt even feel especially out of place in the current quality of writing and storytelling.
it was fun to see darko and sands again just because we have more relation to darko as a villain than any of the dark riders. the same way i am way more interested in ms drake or mr anwir (rip i guess) than i am in the dark riders bc they were sooo badly included in the story and then suddenly now theyre everywhere and talk all the time as if we know them and as if theyve been a consistent villain. i am way more interested in any other npc than in the dark riders, i have more emotional connection to ed field than i have to katja. bc they were not written into the story properly. this is a continuous frustration i have reading any main story updates.
anyway the erissa race was just.... fine. this is supposed to be a kind of mini boss moment in other games. however, due to my horse not being fed (a system that sse designed) i rode quite slow which in itself takes away drama, but also, the race just felt really.... nothing, again. its not bad... its just nothing. the floating objects in the forest were cool, and the yarn stuff is cute (tho i dont feel anything about this design bc again she and her design is just thrown at me with no buildup - like - a character having a theme that you build up a connection to, is not happening here), but it doesnt feel like an important race or like a mini boss, its just.... ok i went here and now i went there. why tho. how did this matter.
it wasnt a difficult enough race in any way that it felt like challenging gameplay (mini boss fight) and ive said before, yes sure there are 8yo players who never played a game before and need it to be relatively easy - but this can be achieved in other ways than forcing *all* players to play a really dumb easy race, and its also not consistent throughout the game - sometimes a race is randomly kinda hard, other times its something you could do blindfolded, but without any consistent relation to where when and why the race takes place.
normally in games, battles/races/whatever would get more and more challenging as the story goes on, as levels go up, as new mechanics get introduced, as player skill and experience grows.
but yeah i just really hate the story quests at this point. theyre empty. theyre badly written. they are forgettable and dont hold the dramatic weight theyre supposed to. they feel random and disconnected from the rest of the game we played until a couple years ago. the characters and stuff are just handled so badly. the story and lore is confusing and hard to understand. its a mess.
all of this would be fine if sso was a game you play for free. it would be fine if it was a game that cost 10 dollars. it would be fine if it had microtransactions that were like, 1-3 dollars here and there, not 30 dollars here and there to afford two items or one horse or whatever.
i wouldnt judge it so harshly for this bad quality in the story quests (the writing, the storytelling and lore, the characters, the gameplay, the animations, the models and designs, the feeling of making progress as a player....) if the game was overall as cheap as its quests are.
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if you could put one of your characters into the gw2 canon, who would it be and how?
oh! Im assuming this means like. As an npc? I think Eon would be the most fun to throw in there. They'd be a fractal npc. Game-wise, low chance of encountering them in a fractal directly and would sometimes have jump puzzles to get to them. If encountered early in the fractal, they'd be there fighting the boss with you at the end.
story-wise, I think it would be pretty funny if they showed up during the SotO storyline to yell at the wizards for creating fractals on purpose. They'd be an npc you could interact with in Skywatch and theyd have a bunch of dialogue for people to read.
I dont know if any of my other characters would be easy to throw anywhere. They're too entrenched in their stories. Eon's very malleable.
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salut pia!
ive been wondering? how do you handle/change modes when you’re writing across AUs/fics? i mean not only the personality/attribute changes (like role reversal with ef and gwyn) but also change in…oh how do i say this..when a character is a MC in one but side/minor in another? bc they are different devices to different stories, how do you keep an overview of how much you reveal, go into so as to not side track from the main story or change the “flow”. example: whenever theres mentions of gender identity and betas somethin somethin feeling like omegas somethin somethin comes up “casually” sirens go off in my head and then i realise wait faber is NOT the MC in this story this is not about him him but its a little bit about him him. and then i feel like im standing behind a glass wall looking from Utb/Utg to Utr screaming at faber but he is a NPC here so we dont know whats going on in his head. that scene with ef and him eating carrots?…. i would give my right foot and skin tone copic markers to be a fly on the wall in fabers POV (the timelines probably wont align for it to happen but would you ever consider sth like this?? a scene overlapp across stories i mean?)
i’ve mostly read within that universe but ive also read spoils where your characters have completely different..positions? roles? weight? than in rainbow. so yeah how do you keep it all “appropriate” or “fitting” for their roles in different stories. like a puppet master
cheers xx
Hi anon,
So this is going to be not very helpful, but I don't write this stuff down for the most part.
This is the stuff I find so easy that this is why this is my job, in a way. I don't have a list of 'different Efnisiens' to keep track of, or 'different Gwyns.' They become themselves within the story. If I read a chapter of the story I get back into it (actually often I just need to listen to a song or put on the right playlist). Every version of a character is kind of there right now. I know how each would respond to something, and how those things would be the same or vary based on life experiences and the question etc.
I don't do really much at all to change modes. I just...do. There is no overview. It's all in my head. I'd say some of this goes down to how long / how many years I've spent studying character and dialogue overall. But even when I was younger I found this pretty easy, and transplanting characters into different situations to see how they'd react similarly / differently was one of my favourite kinds of exercises even when I was a teenager.
Some of it is knowing focus. Faber's side story is interesting, for those who like Faber and/or Underline the Red, hints about his gender struggles are fascinating, but they can only ever be hints, because I'm mindful that many readers aren't interested in Faber except as a minor character, and haven't read Underline the Red.
The focus is always Efnisien and Gary. Other characters can have their own lives and motivations, but it won't be more than that in the main story. Though I can go into a bit more detail because of the length of the story which is really nice for building out side characters / ensemble cast.
As to crossover perspectives, I don't know! I know we'll see some of Faber's perspective of Efnisien arriving at Hillview in Underline the Red, but obviously things impact characters differently at different times, I don't know what will be most important by the time we get to Faber's side of things. I used to write alternative perspectives as side chapters for Fae Tales though, and that could be a lot of fun.
so yeah how do you keep it all “appropriate” or “fitting” for their roles in different stories.
I saw a video by Hank Green I think once where he said the reason sportspeople are so good at their sports is in part because they're physically often the best at that sport anyway. Like, ballerinas have a certain build, swimmers have a certain build, and any training they do works to support that and make them better, but they were 'built' out for those sports in the first place. Some people have yoga bodies. I have a swimming body and swimming shoulders.
And I feel like this is true sometimes with writing. I don't try to keep it appropriate or fitting, I just know that the ensemble characters can't matter as much as the main characters in the course of the story. That's what a story is. That's what a main character and an ensemble character is. I would say years of experience has made this part of writing mostly easy and fun for me, so I don't have to think or overthink about this stuff anymore. At worst I might think 'was that too much Faber? Eh, it's helping Efnisien, it's still important to the plot and his character arc.'
I'm 'built' for writing big worlds with big ensemble casts where all the characters are important but where the focus is only on a couple of main characters per story. I'm built for character-focused stories and seem to be very built for transplanting characters I love into different worlds (and different roles) to see how that changes things. I started wanting to write these kinds of worlds and characters when I was 10 years old, and had my first sprawling ensemble fantasy series started by the age of 11. By the age of 15 I had a 3 novel fantasy trilogy built out with about 20 significant characters, and it was ridiculous and silly but that was what I wanted to write.
And I guess you could say I haven't really changed, I've just gotten better at it. I hope to keep getting better at it! The challenge now is to figure out how to break down some of these skills so I can share them with others. But...I do think there's an element of 'this is just what I love, it's a special interest, I don't know how to convey that I have 30 years of special interest in reading, writing, and studying this thing across television, manga, manhwa, fanfiction, AUs, and fictional series.' There will be teachable skills in that, but I don't know how much osmosis / absorption / and being obsessed with entangled tapestries of stories makes up what I do.
In some ways it would be 'better' if I was built for more conventional storytelling. My bank account might like that more! BUT, I'm doing okay where I'm at, because I love it, and I try to share that with other people and see if I can tell stories that resonate with them too.
(There are aspects of what I do that are very hard for me - timelines, aspects of worldbuilding, pacing in the first arc, and so on, but the actual characterisation part, and creating multiple versions of the same character is as easy as breathing. I could give you four more different versions of Faber in an hour. Maybe even twenty minutes. It's not hyperbole, it's just...how I daydream, what I think about. And it's fun!)
I'm very very very lucky that other folks are willing to read the same characters across different narratives, because it's a very strange thing to do in writing outside of fanfiction, case in point being that we almost never see any other professional authors doing it with their original works. x.x
#asks and answers#pia on writing#pia on worldbuilding#pia on characterisation#pia on fanfiction#i gotta put shoes on and i gotta gooooo#it's mum's birthday dsklfjas i'm heading over to hers#and bringing birthday Toby lol#apologies for any typos or incorrect word usage#i didn't have time to reread#the TL;DR is - i'm obsessed with this and love it and it's a special interest#and in the last 10 years this is the easiest kind of writing for me#it's easier than oneshots sdlkfjas
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3 hours into update 2.0.0....
I love it xD But also, I'm a little bit overwhelmed, but UUUURGGGHHH there are some real gems in there already 😩
So, I didn't start a new playthrough for time reasons and went right in with my post-ending save. There was some initial fuckery with my wardrobe outfits that seems fixed now though after unequipping everything and remaking the outfits xD Custom tattoo and scar mods work just fine though and I might test these next few days what other mods do :D I'm really happy about the tattoos though at least :3
Some Bugs
Also, someone desperately needs to send the NCPD some funds cause....
That vehicle doesn't look like it should be allowed in traffic (this happened twice, and I was cackling xDD honestly just a really funny little bug that's probably gonna get fixed somewhere down the line xD)
But yes... Man the new skills and perks and cyberware and EVERYTHING is so fucking cool, but also so fucking overwhelming when you're already level 42+ and have everything at your disposal all at once xD But I was so excited to see all the different new Kiroshi options and how cyberware is tied to skills like... damn. And the strongest quickhacks really need a fuckton of RAM... as they should. And I still need a fuckton of practise in terms of using them, but I'm really excited to get the hang of it all somewhere down the line :D
They didn't forget about the LIs!!!
But then this:
When I read this in the patch notes, I was so fucking excited xD Hell yeah, a good reason to go to the apartment apart from sorting through my inventory xD Some more Johnny interactions!
AND. A DREAM COME TRUE WITH ONE OF THE DIALOGUES!!!
I was always a bit sad that Johnny had no comments whatsoever on V's relationship with Kerry, when he did with some of the other LIs, so this already made my evening xDD and one of the big perks of jumping in with my post-ending save to already get to see and hear this now :DDD Not gonna spoil what he says but... yes XDD It fits, I figured. And I hope the other LIs get something similar because it's glorious xD
Vehicles and Radio
In regards to vehicle handling... I can definitely feel a difference with my go-to bike! Like, it still has its weaknesses, but also feels a lot more stable in other regards, less flimsy and "heavier" like they described it in the patch notes. I love it a lot. I didn't try vehicle combat yet, although I did get randomly attacked in the badlands by some NPCs once, which was very fun XD I almost had a heart-attack, but it did feel like something that could happen. Sadly didn't manage to get my revenge in time, but next time!!
I like the new radio stations, but didn't hear every song yet... but also, and I think some others already said that, they don't really add much new in terms of sound and genres. Nothing that isn't already there in some shape or form. But still nice to have something new to add to the rotation.
Leveldesign
And as I was driving around, I randomly stumbled right into Dogtown :DDD well, not quite but, damn, that was an impressive moment:
The faction of the guards was labelled as "Test" though xDD Close but, not quite... Figure that's also a little bug though.
Overall... I fucking love how they integrated it into Pacifica o.o It's insanely impressive, huge and rundown and maaaaaan.... I cannot wait to explore behind the walls!!
Also, random little thing... I feel like the clouds looked nicer? But that could be me not paying much attention/ rain being rare-ish in Night City.
Not Dogtown but North Oak, obviously. But... idk o.o The light shining through like that looked so fucking cool and realistic, but I really dont know if maybe this wasn't already part of the Pathtracing update and I just never noticed it like this before XD
And lastly... I discovered whose nooks they added to the Columbarium. Right in the feels.
Cannot wait to discover more little details as I go but URGH yeah. The tiny little Kerry convo already made it worth it for me XDD And Viktor <3 And the Autofixer shop is so cool! And aaahhh I cannot wait to see what's gonna come with PL :333
#cyberpunk 2077#phantom liberty#phantom liberty spoilers#cyberpunk 2077 spoilers#elven plays cyberpunk 2077#spoilers
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Dreamy Bubble event spoilers (the last bit abt Doyle and Serpent's interro)
Me finishing the event:
Man Doyle only appeared one event but i love him already 😭
Also THIS
THIS RIPS ME TO SHREDS but its so refreshing that they wrote acknowledging that people have limitations even in relationship...this event UGH... I WANT TO EAT THIS EVENT ITS SO GOOD...this is what i get for not playing for 2 months last year i missed on this stuff. I like its abt moving on and accepting that was it. 🥹
None angst fave part? This lol
Never change my daughter
Now lets talk abt the interro which uhm A LOT. Aisno never skimps on angst and info dump like man i gained more info than expected.
Also some cw: mentions of suicide and self harm
Also can we talk abt that Serpent's idea of happiness is heavily misguided?? And sometimes being unalive is her idea of "happiness" or literally else is correlated to pain if its not happiness 😭 like that was so messed up. Man the last file in her interro is her thinking she dont deserve happiness so she would cause harm to herself instead. I WANT TO SCREAM. Its not even a joke, I almost went flight or fight.
The horrible part of her life is ofc, how she was exploited in young age. Ik devs did not wrote it even more darker themes in her interro but i feel like its implied that npc dialogue that when she transfer to be entertainer for east-siders she was brought to do more f*tish related stuff against her will.
Reading this interrogation, reminds me of Lamia's. Lamia and Serpent are both exploited at the very young age bc of their unique appearances. Their methods of utilizing their power is similar too in story.
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meta: sam coe - post-campaign analysis
allllrighty i am officially post-campaign so time for first thoughts. since im still collecting my feelings/opinions on the main quest i dont want to go super into that. i wanna wait and consolidate into a deep dive on that one. BUT i am a fic writer with a fixation on socioeconomics, intergenerational trauma, and more specifically the phenomenon of atheists clinging to their religious parents morals because they haven't taken the time to evaluate their biases and the reasons they still hold them
translation: the silver spoon space cowboy is an interesting concept. poory executed in the case of starfield, sadly, but great framework for fandom to chop the head off of and bring to their own individual comfort interpretations.
this meta will include spoilers for the following:
-sam's questline and the npcs involved
-his romance
-cora, the safety storyline around her, and how she's the best part of the space game
-why bethesda was fucking stupid to turn the cowboys into cops when they have the perfect opportunity for not that. i went in hoping for retired/reformed army rangers fed up with war looking to defend their home from fascism given the "han solo simulator" marketing, but all i got was this lousy ass rendition of the texas rangers, which i for SURE did not want
-i WONT be going into detail about the main plot for this post, just fyi. i wanna save that, and sam's relation to it, for its own essay. id still recommend not reading meta's until you finish the game tho
-i miss obsidian's writing. this game made me want to play outer worlds for the 100th time. that will probably come up a lot
this is probably gonna sound more than a bit scattered and off the fucking plot for the first section, but bare with me, im making a point eventually i promise. gotta make sure we're all on the same page first.
now that ive done a majority of his content, it's clear what the intent was for sam and i applaud it. i like it when good hearts in bad systems spot the fundamental flaws and decide to abandon it entirely, or work to change it. i hate perfect characters. i hate characters that have no growth to find. sam is a great character for showing the awesome power of a perspective change. but damn. what a waste when you're talking about a format where a writer is constricted to:
-an exact conversation trigger (bethesda games have always relied on interrupt & player approach, and i didnt notice any variation on game engine front but i wont know until they release the ck so)
-word limit on all responses (yes, you can make long dialogues in engine. but those words still have to be f u n d e d from a dev standpoint. words are not free in video games. capitalism sucks for art.)
-multiple conversation branches that ALL have to circle back to the original topic (they have to follow a set pattern of establishing a subject, then the players possible responses to that subject, the npcs responses to those responses, AND provide a seamless, one dialogue tie-in path to the next branch. it sounds super easy until you're the shmuck writing it, and then it doesnt feel so easy anymore)
-get approximately two personal quests with, what was it, 12 motion scripted scenes? (im watching other peoples pts now so ill try to remember to count, but it was. hmm. lack luster imo. im not saying quantity is vital. im a bioware fanatic, i know the power of quality when its actually delivered. i didnt have any moment like that for sams quests and it was kind of crushing. ill get into it.)
-appeal to a wide enough audience to obtain profit by holding back eXtReMe ViEwS (id like to point out that there is, at this exact moment in time, an active pr campaign (and a few scattered gaming content creators) surrounding starfield talking about how pronouns are politics and should be left out of gaming. over a setting flag in a save file. you literally dont even have to press a button about it. like, you pick your characters body. masc bodys are auto assigned m pronouns. fem bodies are auto assigned f pronouns. you literally dont even have to SEE the button, and it never gets brought up. the only purpose it serves is so the game knows what voice lines to fire. that. is. it.)
im not going to humor the "thats dumb, bethesda makes political games" contribution to the argument.
i get straight people think they're being super helpful and witty on that one, but i think the world would collectively benefit from allies taking just a few extra seconds before standing on that soapbox to maybe consider that calling existence "politics" might be, gee idk, insulting. maybe more than a lil dehumanizing. maybe super easily solved by just NOT giving into their parents obsession with playing devils advocate. i think if maybe allies could shut the fuck up for a minute or two at a time and go look for voices of authority within the communities they're defending instead of trying to talk over them, that'd probably work out better. might help cut out the completely useless middle man their parents taught them to be when they drilled home "you have to respect everyone's opinion"
no the fuck you do not, actually. i, as someone on this earth attempting to be a compassionate person, owe people a chance at understanding. i do not, under any circumstance, owe someone any kind of respect WHATSOEVER if they cannot respect me as a human being. full stop. i dont owe it to them, i dont owe it to their religion, i dont owe it to the government they try to establish. i do not owe respect to people attempting to oppress me. i never have and i never will.
but remember. there is context to be found in the passing of time. yes, you need to tell grandma to stop being racist. no, you do not need to banish grandma to the nursing home if there's still a chance that she's willing to sit and listen. a chance that she'll empathize with social perspectives that the racist society she was raised in never allowed her to have. breathe and give grandma the chance. then send her to the home if she's still racist.
(yes that was an analogy for how i imagine a perspective conversation with jacob would go. i do not have high hopes of that man finding self awareness given. well. who he is as a person.)
now. if you've played through sam's content, you already know why im bringing all of that up, but lets put together a list of all the things that Make Sam Coe Who He Is before we wrap it all up in a pretty bow that hopefully reads a lot less scattered than this "yo society got some trauma actually" lead up ive dumped on you
quick interrupt just for me: i love that im back on tumblr where i dont really have to give all that much of a fuck about making sense. any audience i could find here is equally unhinged so mostly i just have to format it in a way that makes your brain not hurt. sorry if you dont have adhd <3
1: lets talk about cora's hair.
im going to make the race observation because its bothering me from a dev standpoint AND the gamer crowd is already starting to make cuck memes which sucks to see.
i get that this doesnt matter in a colonialism scifi future where a service like enhance exists and we're talking about two rangers that apparently went under cover regularly, but it matters in the context of how sam was handled in a 2020 era commercial, creative environment. im just going to MENTION that cora coe's biological mother (that jab was me not liking her as a person, not me giving a shit that she's white) is paler than pale, and sam does NOT look like some of his earlier promo images. bethesda as a company also has a very long history of making characters arguably tan to avoid this shit.
9/16 edit: was asked for source, heres the exact image im referencing, which is still his set image on the starfield wiki to date:
(im going to preemptively warn any white artists building the urge to argue over this: you DO NOT want to die on a hill about lighting for this one, fucking trust me. thats not what this conversation is, and if you dont understand that as a White Artist, you need to sit this one out until you understand the full weight of the conversation and the profound effect of media treating skin color like a rare diversity accessory. bethesda has a very very long history of this. their last major story title, fallout 4, (76 was a money grab made in the other studio and i barely want to call it a game) had a whopping total of two black characters in its main cast, and both of them acted in subservient roles so please. please please please just. stop trying to defend bethesda on this one. its dehumanizing, cowardly, and malicious in this day and age. i promise im not trying to bite anyones head off here, im just Old And Tired when it comes to suburbanites in fandom.)
i think having solomon be canonically black would have been a really important aspect. i think it would have given the opportunity to show white people why its fucked up that they get SO EXCITED to save war mementos (or in the case of starfield a nasa memento) and will go on and on about how vital it is to save that piece of history, but when you bring up memorializing the importance of race as it pertains to human history and cultural history/pride, they suddenly start getting Very Uncomfortable and throw out phrases like "what does it matter we're all human" while standing next to the gun their grandfather smuggled home from the war
there is no brightness slider on pc and i havent gone reshade tweaking so everything is still washed out on my end (dont worry, as an rtx user, imma be makin a rant post on that) b u t. cora coe has a pale as fuck mother and a vaguely tan father with blue eyes and straight hair, meanwhile my precious angel has a darker complexion and curls that look like they're closing in on the 3c range so like. im getting vibes that sammy boy mighta been whitewashed during game dev, and thats about as far into THAT topic as im gonna bother to venture for this post.
2: his dad
were we supposed to have more daddy issues content??? istg it feels like there was the initial map talk and then nothing. im not saying that i cant pull blood from a stone and give you an entire essay on that glimpse of family trauma just from a few lines of dialogue, but still. feels like thats maybe something that should have gotten more detail.
"no forgiveness between me and my old man. it's uh... coe tradition."
oh boy. oh boy oh boy oh boy. what a line to start his personal quest
before we go ANY FURTHER im gonna drop a reference to one of my favorite aaron sorkin scenes of all time. its from the movie he did about the chicago seven, and i think it fits VERY well when having a conversation about how sam is shaped by his father
unfortunately the exact scene i want to show isnt clipped anywhere easy i could find, so here's an article that talks about that scene specifically if you want more context but dont want to watch the whole movie. what we're really focused on is this:
which is a scene where a fictional account of bobby seale, the leader of the black panther party at the time of the chicago 7 trial, said that above quote to a fictional account of tom hayden while they were having a conversation about how the stakes of this trial are life and death for him as a black man, but little more than a family dispute and a dark spot on their records for the (all white) chicago 7.
its a GREAT continuation of sorkin’s fascination around father son conflicts (he covered it a time or two during his writing days as west wings original creator, which is a great political show id strongly rec) and it really really works when used in comparison to those rebellion days sam had that he still flagellates over
sam was a privileged kid without a foundation of emotional support or a safe environment to vent to. he didnt have the words needed to communicate what he was feeling and thinking and experiencing. he didnt have the means to express himself in a way that wasn't immediately criticized by the people in his life. it doesnt take a degree in psych to figure out that sam first ran for the stars to run from his father. and it sounds like that was tradition
from the MOMENT YOU MEET HIM, jacob is full stop "my way or the highway" until you hit him with the good ol bethesda persuasion and his disposition pulls a 180 to hand you the next plot device
sam: "you know why im here."
jacob: "oh? and what's that? you come to your senses? realize where you ought to be for once?"
w o w
i wonder why sam never felt safe in his own home. i wonder why he doesnt feel safe leaving cora there. i wonder why that miserable fucking attitude and guilt has sam convinced that jacob will be the worst possible thing for his curious daughter's self esteem.
yes, grandparents sip a different kind of koolaid when it comes to their grandkids. no, that is not enough to protect that child from that much intergenerational trauma. sam's made a bad choice keeping cora in space, but he's made an EXCELLENT choice keeping her away from jacob.
forget "showing respect" to his son's choices, jacob won't give them the time of day. he brushes off constellation and wont go meet them for himself, he insists that cora being "in her family home" is the only priority (isnt THAT telling) and, as if that wasnt enough to prove he's incapable of empathy, the fact that he outright, direct fucking quote during that first scene with him, says to sam's face
"the only mistake im seeing here is you"
fuck anyone who walked away from that scene of a parent saying that to their own kid and had the response of "i dont understand why sam wont let jacob take care of cora." fuck you, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, if that was your reaction.
i looked for opportunities to get sam to talk about what the rest of those "30 plus years of experience with the man" really looked like after that. the fact that it was used as a plot device without any (from what I COULD FIND in my first pt, if i find any ill edit this) kind of dialogue discussion about that trauma around his father's behavior/mentality and the terrible influence it had is such a waste. chances are!!!!!! id fucking agree with him!!!!!!!!!! SO TELL THEM TO ME BETHESDA!!!!!! give me the chance to storm back into that house with the full story and let that geriatric fuck know why he will not be allowed back into my daughters life (yeah we're gonna be calling cora our daughter on this one bc, again, she's the best thing in the game) until he can learn to be a safe emotional environment for her
and THEN, at the end of the romance, the wrinkly mf drops a "hey can you go over sam's head and make the parenting decisions now" 20 minutes before your vows get exchanged in his living room (WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT MESS OF A WEDDING LMAO ITS A LOT but im probably gonna save it for another sam post where i talk more in depth about why packing a complicated romance in that tightly just Dont Work). like wow. wowowowwow. if that doesnt perfectly sum up how he views the dusty's (shhh i really hope that name catches on pls i keep seeing ppl use captain instead its heartbreaking) role in the family now, and confirm how he's always viewed his own son, idk what does
3: lillian "i can abandon my kid and demand she be taken care of in the same breath" hart
i was originally going to go into hella detail on his relationship with his ex but honestly i think im just gonna leave a few paragraphs and not touch on her again bc its bad for my blood pressure.
okay, here's the deal. im biased in the sense that i had a mother with attachment issues and lets just say that his ex is worth about as much to me as a pile of dogshit. it'd be one thing if she had that moment of "oh. sam and cora bond really well and i dont fit" and decided to look at that and evaluate if she wanted to continue trying to be a parent.
but she didnt have a moment of reflection. she didnt talk to a therapist. she didnt have a discussion with sam. she went back to work and decided "oh well, my kid doesnt like me" and then left her daughter with an open wound and no shot at closure. which is just. wow. that's active abandonment. she WALKED OUT of cora's life because she couldn't stomach the idea that she didnt immediately win over her daughter without any effort to connect to her.
then she has the nerve to yell at sam for not doing the best for cora. like bitch, you cant even consistently answer the phone??? what are you on??? she's REPEATEDLY broken cora's heart with false promises, and clearly made no effort to truly atone for that given just HOW angry sam is ALL the times he brings it up.
and she does it all for what????? a beat cop reputation and some shiny medals????? like shut the fuck up with that righteous indignation piglet, you're killing smugglers under someone's made up authority to protect COMMERSE, not creating galactic peace. the idea that THAT SHIT is worth more to her than her own daughter having a mother who's around for all her life milestones is inFURIATING and id fucking deck her if i could.
the fact that there's zero chance to call her out other than one single "thats a pretty awful thing to say" option is a real cop out from bethesda. they realized they put a woman in a position where she could be really, truly yelled at for something like child care, and chickened out on following through with it so they wouldnt take any heat.
thats gross and should piss you the fuck off, by the way. that sure the fuck isnt what equality looks like by any measure. you don't empower women by acting like they're infallible creatures you cant call out for being flawed. and you sure as shit dont empower the next generation of women by forgiving their abusers.
4: cora's safety
which brings us to the big sticky: sam is a disaster and i DONT think that keeping cora on a combat-active spaceship is right. i think she'd be much better off living in constellation hq (aside from the main plot obvsly) with a constant open comm to her dad and the ability to bring her to outposts and secured sights.
the problem with the biomother's abandonment isnt the distance. its the lack of attempt to connect. its the lack of forming a bond. its the fact that she had zero desire to understand her child once she figured out her child didnt "love her the most" when thats literally not a thing. the problem was never the physical space, and it wouldnt have to be in sam's case, either.
he's a dad that's there for cora day in and day out, he just never got the chance to grow out of the panic stage of a parent worried the first fever is going to kill the baby. he didn't have his dad because he had to get out to protect himself, he doesnt have a mom because of how long she's been dead, and lillian checked the fuck out at an early stage apparently. so sam was left to be the nervous wreck trying to keep history from repeating itself. the man's flying blind in the face of all the combined generational trauma of himself, his father, and his ex, all while trying not to fuck up shaping a human life.
you're damn fucking right he keeps cora glued to his side, i legitimately do not think his own ptsd would allow him to do otherwise without someone like the dusty to come and and go "hey dude, maybe its time we read some emotional intelligence and trauma books so we can start getting cora into a stable environment for literally the first time in her life? also im going to teach her gun safety for my own sanity because you keep letting her walk all over you and its scaring the fuck out of me thinking my daughter is going to try to raid a pirate ship at 15 because no one taught you proper boundaries."
5: his morals
its been 30+ years and his father wont let go of arguing and micromanaging long enough to try to understand his son. lillian is a workaholic who believes her only inherit value is what she can provide to an organization that views living, breathing human beings as occasionally expendable while screaming about its pursuit of freedom and equality.
sam coe is a man who got told what he was supposed to be his entire life, tripped into drugs and crime in an angry, sheltered act of rebellion, and walked away from it all with a very skewed, very flawed interpretation of morality as a result.
lillian and his father are the clear moral compasses in his life. like yeah, sure, he'll talk about how cora is his driving force until he's blue in the face. and he's not lying!!! he's not even technically wrong. she is his active motivation day in and day out. but she is not his Morality. she hasn't developed enough as a person to be able to be that kind of beacon. she's a kid rushing herself through childhood because she thinks that will make her better and no one in her life recognizes it enough to stop it. she shouldnt have to be the moral guide for someone who's supposed to be guiding her
sam cant let go of the ranger envy. he couldnt stomach being around it, but he cant look at that discomfort long enough to identify why. he can walk into a bank and plain as day go "ah, don't you hate the smell of capitalism," but he can't bring himself to blink the stars out of his eyes long enough to ask why the rangers are so willing to put smugglers to death without trial. sam has enough awareness to identify the system is flawed, but he doesnt have the guts to really stare that down
he'll make cracks about walter having too much money and influence, but he wont actually mention how he and his wife are the root cause of an extraordinary amount of pain and suffering and perfectly avoidable manslaughter as a result of their business. i get that constellation runs as a dont as dont tell organization, but if sam's going to give me shit about nabbing a paper weight from a guy's desk, i think we should talk about how he doesnt display anger for walter's business practices.
sam coe, at his heart, is a dreamer who doesn't want to look too close at things. he was taught that some things just Are, and looking for too many answers will find you trouble. he's got the spirit of an explorer dampened by a lifetime spent under cops.
you can hear it in his voice whenever he talks about how proud he is of cora for being a goddamn prodigy. you can hear the wonder and the excitement there. you can hear the curious kid in him that probably got pushed out of the way while he was trying to shape himself into a Proper Coe
i think sam coe is a dreamer who was forcibly taught to fear learning as a child, and thats the real tragedy of him.
so let's start to tie our bow here.
sam is a man who, in a way that only a privillaged kid can, stumbled into neon's life of drugs and smuggling and self harm through destructive behavior with both eyes firmly shut.
he didn't fall into drugs after a lifetime of being submersed in the culture of it. he didnt take them because he grew up surrounded by people that just knew that's all life was ever going to hold. he didnt get into smuggling because he was starving. he didnt take on his first "criminal act" because there was a life and death battle going on somewhere in his life.
this man was drowning in guilt and shame centered around not "being a proper coe" by the time he was free of his father's control, by all accounts. you can hear how much self hatred he has over the memory of that time in his life. look, im not going to say that age and recovery doesnt come with regret, but he talks about it like degeneracy and something to be guilted about rather than just... living life. like so what you did some drugs?? so what you did a capitalism no no?????
corporations arent people. you shouldnt steal from them because itll put YOU at risk, but under no circumstance should anyone hold onto any guilt for stealing from them. money is fake and capitalism murders people every hour of the day. fuck the system, its fucking rigged, look out for you and yours while capitalism is stealing your natural resources and making private homesteading prosecutable (translation: in our actual, real life here, the government can throw you in jail for building a house without a permit. go look up at the sky and think about the moral journey humanity had to take to get us to that point, and then come talk to me about how i shouldnt encourage people to steal from corporations)
anyways back to the video game, as far as the "what if he was unknowingly smuggling something like organs or weapons" argument, there's no desire for me to defend it, tbh. i dont view crime as a personality brand the way cops do. someone being convicted of a crime doesnt make me see them as lesser, it makes me see them as a person who did a bad thing. i do bad shit all the time. we all do. we're human. sometimes there's an excuse for the behavior, and sometimes there isnt. that's not the end of the world. you own up to your actions, you apologize, and you put in the effort to make amends that fit the situation. end of story. the obvious exception to that being when someone you have victimized tells you to fuck off because they dont want your further involvement.
yes. yes there are people in the world that are genuine monsters that spend their time and energy looking for ways to do the cruelest shit imaginable to their fellow human beings. but those are fucking outliers, so no, im not going to let a conversation about morality be derailed by a fraction of a percent of the population
but people (like the rangers) who aren't ready to look at the whole picture of context, who would rather hyper focus on the unbending rule of the land, don't see that. they see a "type" of person once a crime has been committed rather than "a person who found themselves in this scenario"
sam was raised by cops. he fundamentally does not understand how biased his own view is. he'll sometimes make a vague mention of crime being a necessity, but you can hear how many strings are attached there just from the way he talks about it. he truly views crime as a black and white subject with exceptionally few slivers of grey to be found. you can hear the "law and order is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom" in his voice whenever he talks about how the rangers are "good people" he just "didnt fit anymore" and it's heartbreaking
he'd be so much better off if he would take a moment to reevaluate his priorities and look a lot closer at that guilt he carries and why he carries it. i think it would even help him better connect with cora in the long run. it would for sure give him a better handle on why letting his daughter take on college courses this early in her life isnt something to brag about. its a bad sign that she's pushing herself to Be Something in the exact same way he used to. he just doesn't recognize it because her way is "healthy" by society's fucked up view of child prodigies
tl;dr
i don't need to fix sam coe. he's stubborn, traumatized, and sheltered, not broken.
give that man good enough head and i'm absolutely sure he could be talked into reading some -clutches pearls- marxist literature
#starfield#sam coe#cora coe#meta#lillian hart negative#jacob coe negative#fuck hart and fuck jacob they're both cops without empathy and they can get fucking bent thanks for coming to my ted talk
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