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lpfreakification · 8 years ago

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CotS: One Year Later

- “when this all started, i was just as panicky and didnt want to disappoint. so thats why im giving what i can and see what happens.”

...

- “But yeah, not knowing what you got yourself into is an understatement. Lol “

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the following is my experience of being in the CotS project from the past year.

MARCH 2016

- “i spent the week b4 the storyboard deadline thinkin about joining this project. im surprised what wouldve happened if i didnt.”

- “yeah chaos lol”

im gonna start from the artist announcement back in March 20th 2016. it was my spring break at the time. all i did was stay in bed and played Pokemon Shuffle all day. i needed to break the cycle of nothing. i spent the spring break thinking about joining the CotS team. what convinced Myself was that itlll be something to avoid playing League of Legends again. Plus, i had the storyboarding experience from my storyboarding class two years earlier.

APRIL 2016

according to my email, it was April 1st that i turned in my “audition” to the boss. there were animations ive done for class and i think a few for fun. i dont remember what i turned in. redownloding my audition wont let me see it :( April 7th, the boss actually contacted me 1st on tumblr for my skype name and then on Skype:

“*** Hi there! I'm contacting you, because I'm considering you to be part of the storyboard team for the CotS Project! ***”

“I should be finalizing the Ep 1 script for artists soon so stay tuned!”

boy, was i freaking out in nervousness and excitement. the next day, i tried to doodle the boss’ characters, Faith and Alexander in my style 1st and then his. i was amazed at Myself. i remember in the Skype chat at the time, one of the 1st things he asked was our names and gender pronouns, (the CotS team chat is no longer available). April 10th, i think some of the work was split up within the team. i was in anticipation of what i would be getting. i dont remember what my 1st reply was. it was the 1st of many. i asked about how the style should match his and then i showed him the doodles of Faith and Alexander i made two days earlier. i think i was a little 1+½ steps ahead on that part. the script of the Opening Sequence was given. the late night meeting was adjourned. i was processing what happened.

i wanted to get serious about the project by learning how to doodle the characters. so i asked the boss for Faith references. this became the 3rd post of my newly-created tag, “cots ref”. i printed the script and references b4 i went to school. i was working on preparing to create my final animation for DAT.

when i got home, i made doodles of Xavier in the doodle notebook. it took me the next day to realize that i dont want to spam the doodle notebook with CotS doodles or else when i make a future Doodle Show Off vid for youtube, id be reveling spoilers or concepts that are not quite there yet. so what did i do? i bought a little tone-gray sketchbook specifically for CotS development doodles. as soon as i finish creating enough Xavier heads, i turned it into the boss. i got my 1st feedback from the boss. i wont post too much feedback cuz itll take too long. it took me one or two days to create more Xavier heads and made a few attempts digitally. i downloaded the Fire Alpaca program so i can get familiar with the boss’ art style. VERSATILE ART STYLE!

i remember i wasnt having a good day/week in school and beat Myself up a lot. i was so worried about screwing up this CotS job. my doodles became sad/violent. i felt like a horrible person.

*continues to go forward in time*

oh yeah, i remember Saturday the 16th! i was such a night owl back then too. i remember working on animating the 1st page of the Opening Sequence. it gave me much excitement. some parts were tricky to recreate, do, and animate. i remember trying to make a door open properly. i messed up a few times until i got it right. at the time, the boss was answering “BLANK of the Sky” asks. i interrupted my progression to bring him Roller Coasters of the Sky. that was fun X) i continued the progression. i forgot to do a few things like setting the anchor point. i was slowly losing drawing energy the more i progressed. i tried to switch from animating to storyboarding to keep myself alive thru the night. i had the idea of making notecard storyboards like how the boss did (1 + 2). i gave up too quickly and continued with tiny scribbly storyboard thumbnails. *looks at the sent email at the time* omg, i sent that at 6 in the Sunday morning?!

“i think ive spent too much time (aka the past 48 hours) on these few shots. its up til lightning strikes across the sky. was this a bit (too) much? i just barely got to page 4. my boards are small + scribbly on paper. would you want them to look a lot nicer (+ bigger) to turn in tonight?”

i was on a roll! that following morning, i was headed to Wisconsin to watch my brother, Elias play Frisbee. i napped on the way there. i didnt get to see the feedback until the game was over.

“HOLY CRAP!!! I hope you got enough sleep those past 48 hours! Super important! (I say as I’m probably running on 5-6 hours of sleep.)

All of this looks amazing and you’ve put a ton of hard work into it! What programs did you use? I may want to refine the airship.

Making them look bigger and nicer sounds good, but if you can’t finish all of those tonight, don’t worry about it. Just send in what you have!

Great job!!”

My response:

“Thank you so much! X')

I'm almost revitalized, just need food in my system.

I used Adobe After Effects to animate those (thanks to the other DAT class from last semester). To draw, I actually downloaded Firealpaca to get a sense of how u draw. Then there's photoshop for photomanipulating the city using the stamp tool and used those lightning paint brushes.

If someone made a better airship, I can easily copy + paste the timing from the last animation :)”

i was so happy, ecstatic, and giddy that he liked it! all my energy was placed in those animation and doodles. 3-4 naps (and a sunburn later), i recovered my energy for the next meeting later that night (1 + 2 + 3).

within the next few days, i continued to be productive and turned more things in (1 + 2 + 3). things were getting difficult as i was the only one in the team working.

“If anything, you're the only one who has done and effectively shown me progression. I like update emails like this. “

i was getting worried.

“my mind kept saying "where is everyone else?" all day yesterday. no one else answering + felt i was the one that would doing all the work. i was prepared for that situation.”

the boss told me that some of the artists (i dont know who) thought this was another audioplay or didnt know how (or what) a storyboard/animatic works. i felt like i was the only one who had the proper experience of creating a storyboard and an animatic. this feeling of loneliness within the team didnt affect me until May.

i had some daydreams of me single-handling creating the whole 10-minute sequence and how proud i would be at Myself. i just continue the progression and revision as the month went on. the DK scenes, i remember, took me a lot longer than the 1st few moments of the Opening Sequence. i was beating Myself up for being slow.

- “Also, don't beat yourself up too much”

- “ur right. it happens a lot.”

back then, the deadline to complete it was in May 30th and other things were going about. oh yeah, i referred to the CotS project as “other things” because it was still a wip.

the status of the project back then.

i also got to know the boss and communicated from time to time (1). i get so giddy (and freak out) whenever he talked to me because he is actually formulating words in his head to say something to me D: plus, i was scared of talking to guys because i dont know what intentions they have. i slowly got used to talking to the boss, mainly about CotS though. there were times of telling me to rest and sleep because he experiences the sleepless nights too. it showed he cared about me not straining Myself. i really appreciate the times of checking up on me and encouraging me :) (it fills/filled me with determination).

i gave him an animated chibi walk cycle of his OC, Zane for his bday. it was a for fun thing i thought he would appreciate as well as doodles of his OCs from time to time :) i (privately) streamed a few times so the boss could give me instant feedback. those Skype sounds were jumpscares to me. i bet he was getting cringy of me being scared of those sounds. sorry about that back then. i remember discussing how to make the camera move in After Effects for the last bit of the night. i found the solution on youtube, tested it, and was proud of Myself. downside of adding a camera was that rendering took longer.

MAY 2016

(that took me a while to write about April, oops)

i had a good bday because of Avengers: Civil War and got fun socks and mugs (despite me being a little tipsy from drinking during the movie).

my brothers kept asking me about my “job” and who my boss was (1 + 2). i didnt want to reveal anything until the animatic was complete or until the boss officially paid me :P

as the semester was coming to a close, i was facing a depression :’( i was tired and unmotivated to do anything. it sucked so much. it became worse as the semester was ending. i didnt look forward to my own graduation because i didnt complete all 120 credits. other artists slowly disappeared one by one, leaving only me in the dust. the boss had to do another artist search :( i put as many tags and reblogged it as many times as i could. i added what programs i used in case they were curious (1).

“there are days where im so full of energy that i can stay up + do nothing but work for hours. then there are days where im dead for more than 20 hours + can barely lift a muscle.”

the boss’ response:

“Hey there! I know it's easier said than done, but please take it easy and don't beat yourself up over this animated stuff, okay? You're doing the best you can and that is absolutely fantastic. And you're still learning! There's no way I'd have the patience for animating! I think what you're doing is amazing.”

my response

i kept that note on my phone’s home screen until i got a new phone the next month. i thought about the message a lot. i kept reading it over and over again in his voice for reassurance. i eventually got my energy back on the 16th.

(if only LP gave permission to use The Messenger)

things were slowly getting less stressful again. ACEN was coming up. Voice actors were being announced. the boss gave me a sneak peak of the voice actors for Alexander and Faith Harley. i got super excited for Faith’s because she was being voiced by Michaela Laws because i knew i would be seeing her in ACEN again X3 it was gonna be my third time meeting her. 1st time was in ACEN 2014 (i think) for the At-Home Voice-Acting panel and the 2nd was during a mini Seduce Me Meet-Up in downtown Chicago :)

- “i can visit her at ACEN this wekend too >X)” - “SSSSSHHHHHHH IT'S A SECRET XD” - “oh s*** ur right” - “I actually scheduled the announcement literally the day after Seduce Me 2 comes out.”

i continued doing some work b4 ACEN and then went to ACEN. i attended the Seduce Me panel and asked a question to one of the artists. “how do you continue to work even if you’re dead tired?”, i asked. answer: know that it is your responsibility to work. the word responsibility lingered. after the panel, i got a pic of Michaela and I. when the deed was done, i told her “good luck in any future projects >B)” mwa ha ha, i secretly knew. that was a mini thrill to keep the secret until the announcement. i went to the Undertale photoshoot afterwards. while i was waiting, i asked the boss what time the cast will be announced the next day. i spent the rest of the Friday in my hotel room watching Captain America.

i was fading away from anime and yet i still bought a lot of s*** from the convention. i wasnt into my friends’ drinking games that Saturday. i wasnt into their obnoxious behavior as i just sat there. i used my medications as an excuse to leave and retreated to the room again. i didnt sleep that night either. people were having loud sex as i just scrolled thru tumblr on my brick phone.

“The CotS Art Team should’ve just been called the Thunderdome.

Five artists enter. One artist leaves.”

“Then there was one. OTL”

i went like !!! when i saw that. one interested artist is better than none, right? (1 + 2). i called Myself the survivor of the Thunderdome for the next few days. sunday, i was awake, alive, + so ready to leave ACEN behind.

when summer classes started the following monday, i began to develop a habit of writing things in the tags in my posts for the boss to see. it was a way to let him know what i was doing in case i did more art for CotS.

i had a mini situation where my laptop’s hard drive became full. the boss gave me the solution to buy a terabyte hard drive. i did so and it was a long time coming. my old mini hard drive wouldnt connect to my laptop that well and would always get cut off whenever im copying/pasting files. it was a good replacement i needed. thank you.

in order to progress, bang thy head to the desk.

ahh, one of the many things ive learned from the boss (1+2).

i was on a roller coaster of up and down energy (1 + 2 + 3). there was still so much s*** to do (1). by the end of the month, i finally reached the third page of 10 in the Opening Sequence (1).

i started creating the most detailed walk/run cycle animation i will ever do. started from May 7th to July 11th.

(I’m giving inanimate objects life in exchange for a purpose in life!)

in the end, this animation was never used :(

JUNE 2016

i used up as much free time as i could to continue working on CotS while i was taking the summer classes. progress was still slow despite having these bursts of energy (1). pressure rose when the boss’ boss expected a video progression by the end of the week (1 + 2).

“*Completes one single task*

Now I must sleep for a thousand years.”

oh yeah, the boss streamed a few times as well (1). those were good times even though i was the only one there. as he worked, i worked. i felt that synergy in my grasp. that feeling of working together and communicating to create something big. it was one of the best feelings in the world X) i remember he was working on the trio’s main poses too (1 + 2). due to time, only the main three was complete (1 + 2 + 3).

i remember the day the proof of concept video was release. it had technical difficulties 1st then it was re-uploaded :P all the blood, sweat, and many tears went into this. the more people saw it, the more i felt my contribution was being acknowledged :)

theres one thing i feel guilty of not doing. i asked him what else i could do for the project in an email. i wasnt sure if his reply was telling me to look for videos that inspired the project or that HE was looking for videos (1).

later on, there were conflictions of the project potentially becoming a comic instead of an animation. i kept repeating Myself of the pros and cons of comics and animations (1). i was a little frustrated because of how much time was spent on the animations may go to waste. of course i had the ability to do a comic style project but i rather do the animation because it portrays so much more action. i was growing concerned too about his end of things. i guess what made him decide that was that the expectations that was given were unrealistic :(

i was into philosophy and wondered what philosophical issues were in the story (1 + 2)

on the 15th... was the day i was hospitalized (1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 6 + 7). i was very sad and tired over there at the hospital. i had daydreams of the boss visiting me. i stayed there for a week. when i was discharged from the hospital, i got a new phone as my bday, graduation, and discharge present (1). as i caught up in my social media, i told the boss of my absence due to the hospitalization. we discussed the powers of the phone, CotS money management, and me continuing to volunteer for the project. the money was a nice little surprise :) he had scattered thoughts about the project. the project was on a standstill because he had no funds to properly pay people. i was super surprised that he actually paid me 0.0 he wanted to make a Kickstarter. i cringed at that because i was very much afraid the goal wouldnt be reached. i did not want to see him feel bad. still, i give him props for managing all this.

i attended Aftercare after discharge. things were slowing down again (1). another artist search was in the way (1). i, again, reblogged it as many times as i could. unfortunately, nothing/no one showed up :(

i always wonder. why couldnt he ask his voice actor friends for help to promote the project? some of them have artists but i think they may be busy too. did he want to try to do this on his own without help? was he afraid to ask or didnt want to bother them? i will never know.

an idea struck my head to create an LPFCC (LPFreakification Copic Coloring) of Zane Artemis in order to promote the project on my youtube channel (1 + 2 + 3 + 4). i started that doodle on the 30th and finished it on Christmas Eve as a christmas present for him :P

JULY 2016

i attended Aftercare thru-out the month of July while Pokemon Go was released (1).

on the 16th, i turned something in and was told to pause the work because things were jumbled up atm. i continued the Zane run animation only to find out that it wasnt the correct pose he wanted. this was the pose he wanted. he said he felt bad for making me start over. of course i felt bad too cuz of the time spent on it but in the end of the day, its his project and his rules (1 + 2). i signed up for this because i have the ability to make it possible. idc how picky he is, i was aware of that ahead of time. i still did the work anyway (1 + 2 + 3). according the the sent emails, my animation quality was decreasing.

ha ha ha, every time someone asks how CotS is doing XD

AUGUST 2016

i thought things were looking up again, i animated some more scenes, the boss doodled me OC, Dractica (1 + 2), Aftercare was over, and took a vacation to California. when i landed back in Chicago, i saw this and it broke my heart. i had to agree on his decision this time because of the inconsistent times i turn in some work, hardly to no artists responded to the call, and motivation gets easily lost. i dont know what was happening on his end but from that post, it couldnt have been good :( i was falling back into depression.

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2016

i didnt turn in anything for nearly a month. skype and tumblr chats were becoming scarce. while that was happening, the boss was developing the Renaissance Soldiers (1 + 2 + 3). i got Myself an animation table to animate traditionally at home. i wanted to animate DK running (1). i havent used it since :(

i had this idea to help promote the project at my art school (1). too bad that didnt happen because things were still jumbled :( it was towards the end of the month where things were getting productive again (1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 6).

“2014 Me: Maybe 2015 will be Children of the Sky's year. 2015 Me: 2016 will be Children of the Sky's year. I just know it. 2016 Me: *Pops open a champagne bottle and chugs it.* Yeah. 2017, I guess...“

i continued to complain about not having the motivation to do the job a lot (1 + 2 + 3).

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

according to one of my life posts, the boss streamed while i watched the Cubs win the World Series (1). things were reinvented/revised (1). that 3D airship inspired me to take a 3D animation class in the next semester so I can help my boss out even more (1). oh yeah, the election was going on at the time and that sucked. now we have a crusty orange as a president XP (1) If I wasnt doing anything, then I’m the least interesting person in the world (1). *tries to remember what else happened*

“pls dont take this the wrong way, but I’d like you to put a hold on the storyboards until i can find something for you to work on. things are a little jumbled rn”

*scrolls thru the life tag of mine* oh f***, i was hospitalized for the 2nd time. the 1st time was for bad anxiety. this 2nd time was for... suicidal thoughts. why? i was tired of going to therapy, i was tied of taking medication, i was just so plain tired of being tired. i regret telling the therapist that and broke down crying. while i was at the hospital again, i thought about CotS. if i go, who will help the boss? :’( i had and have to stay alive.

they discharged me in time for thanksgiving though. i felt fake. like, i couldnt tell them i was not fine. i had to pretend everything was ok when i was still feeling down from the hospitalization. they put me in even more medication. i went back to Aftercare again thru-out the month of December. also played the new pokemon game too.

how is that last paragraph related to the CotS experience? answer: procrastination. i was procrastinating. i worked on my half-sheet doodles. i was waiting until Dec. 17th to receive a new task from the boss. instead, i gave him a nicely-colored doodle of Zane for christmas :P i wanted that synergy back so badly (1). depression is hard :(

- “I wish I can say things that make sense.“

- “The only thing sensible in this senseless world is that this year has been absolutely nonsensical.”

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2017

January became A LOT more productive. the beginning attempts at logo designs. i had established a morning routine of coffee and logos (1 + 2). 51 attempts at it later, the boss’ logo was the winner. playlists were created for the main characters (1). the Patreon was created too. i shared it almost everywhere just to get some support. i really wanted the art book that was promised. i also daydreamed of the boss coming to ACEN. *sigh* it was only a daydream (and i just found out the Patreon is not there anymore D:>) what i hoped for that was having mini deadlines in order for more art to be created. more streams occurred, i asked a bunch of questions just so i can get to know the story and characters some more.

it was also the start of designing the secondary characters of the story (1). as i was working (1 + 2 + 3), the boss was down and out (1) (yikes D:) i had so much energy working on those characters until i was pooped for the day. i started off doodling their heads 1st and then their bodies/clothes separately. i fixed what needed to be fixed as soon as i got some feedback. once i had the correct ones, i combined them digitally into their (somewhat) final form(s).

in febs, i procrastinated again by playing League of Legends. COTS WAS THE MAIN REASON TO PREVENT ME FROM PLAYING THAT GAME AGAIN. and i focused on my half-sheet doodles again. i still managed to develop the characters needed. the kid ones was a struggle (1). i tried doodling chibis at 1st. it didnt turn out too great. then i researched cartoon kids and twins like from Kim Possible for example. he gave me sneak preview of Episode 4.

"Damn Zane. I didn't know you could change a scene's tone so quickly."

i cant believe he trusts me with this info. too bad idk how to give proper feedback. still, being one of the people to share this with is an honor.

MARCH/APRIL 2017

things are slower than ever nowadays. it took me a month to turn in something new. theres still so much to do. i can hear him say “dont remind me”. i havent gotten an email back from him yet. maybe he’s thinking about what to do next. if i do complete the rest of the Harley family, there are these MGs i can work on. now he’s recreating the 1st few parts of the Opening Sequence (1). or if possible, i can do some 3D things like these (1 + 2). i had to turn something in to the boss b4 writing this reflection. that way it feels more accomplishing.

“*Wakes up* Oh my God, it’s been a year since Children of the Sky had artist and voice over auditions?”

(still here and cant/wont leave ya hanging. if not me, who will?)

OTHER THOUGHTS

i used to get excited about the flashing blue light on my phone. that signals that the boss posted or reblogged something. i turned on notifications for his blog in case there were more news of CotS. now i still get the notifications but it doesnt have the flashing blue light :(

i couldnt stop thinking about the past year until i got myself a job at Falcos Pizza 10 days ago. it gave me something new to do to break away from the cycle of nothing again. how long will this thrill of the job last? so the new challenge is to balance work, CotS, Myself, and school (3 more months of it). Rome wasn't built in a day. idk how many years this will take. im still willing to do it but i wont have that much energy and thrill as i used to have the year b4.

*proofreads and adds some more things to this long-@$$ post*

i cant think of anymore things to say.

good/decent day.

#life #cots ref #long post ahead

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