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#dont get me wrong sometimes some women do hit
canny-analyst · 5 months
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Unrelated to anything, but I think the thing that made me go "OH THAT'S COMP HET!" the most is seeing genderbend versions of characters that I like.
As in, seeing a character I think is hot and I'm very attracted to getting genderbend/their gender changed, seeing their fem version specifically, and realizing how little attraction I have left for them.
Like yes, it's the same person, I KNOW THAT... but.
It's immediate, I always try to be attracted to them, but it's just not there.
With more androgynous versions it's not as strong a feeling, but I'm still attracted, it's just their fem/woman version.
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holllandtrash · 2 years
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not good enough | charles leclerc social media au
paring: charles leclerc x reader
charles' girlfriend gets a lot of hate online and he usually stays out it because she knows how to handle it...but sometimes people just need a little reminder that they're in love asian faceclaim: christina nadin - british/filipino influencer
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yourusername 'come to paris' charles said, 'it'll be fun' mate it literally smells like ass and i dont speak french
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charles_leclerc i've been translating everything for you, you're fine
pierregasly should have visited milan instead
charles_leclerc are you hitting on my girlfriend pierregasly milan is simply better than paris yourusername we're going to milan next time
hamiltyres shes so real for this
lightsouthannah she complains about everything why does charles put up with her
55carlando4 are they there for paris fashion week??
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yourusername day 2
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pierregasly how did charles convince you to leave the hotel?
yourusername he told me i wouldn't have to stay for the fashion show yourusername he lied charles_leclerc 🙄🙄🙄
noviaelegante love the fit😍 check your dm's girly!
hammilstop is it just me or does y/n seen ungrateful?
jemmaf1 yeah i was thinking the same thing
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc Celine Homme 2023🖤 Merci celine
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yourusername pretty
charles_leclerc you should have came with yourusername i had nothing to wear charles_leclerc thats a horrible excuse
scuderiaferrari 😍😍😍😍
luvfrom63 i dont understand why y/n goes to paris with charles but then refuses to attend the shows
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yourusername a sustainable fashion show that promotes empowering women living in recovering nations? sign me up
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noviaelegante so happy to have you attend🖤
charles_leclerc you should have modelled one of them
yourusername im not putting on a wedding dress until you give me a reason to
pierregasly when are you walking down the aisle?
yourusername when someone puts a rock on my finger pierregasly is this an open invitation? charles_leclerc mate dont even think about proposing to my girl
channyinthepaddock THATS what she wore to the show? girl💀
kaleyschumacher its a no from me
lewisfanclub im sorry are we not going to talk about pierre's comments????????
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charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc The man!! doni.nahmias
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yourusername sorry i missed your show doni.nahmias ❤️❤️
doni.nahmias the drinks are on your tab tonight yourusername thats fair
caraf1fan charles slays at another fashion show and y/n can't even bother to attend and support her friend? what is wrong with her
mickysunshine y/n do better💀💀
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yourusername these pictures were taken within 45 minutes of each other
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charles_leclerc beautiful in both 🖤
pierregasly so she does know how to dress up
yourusername its our last night in paris i figured i'd put in some effort
hannahsformula idk i still think charles can do better than her
vivvverstappen nah her and charles are a power couple and anyone who says otherwise is so so wrong
luvforlance but why hasn't charles said anything about what shes been dealing with online 💀 he defends her the same way justin bieber defends hailey
yourusername im a big girl i can handle myself
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charles_leclerc thank you dior for helping me end Paris Fashion Week in style
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dior 🖤😍
yourusername hot
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mickandkmags forever wondering how y/n managed to pull charles when he looks like that and she wears jumpers and sweats 99% of the time
yourusername he loves my personality pierregasly yeah sure thats it
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yourusername prettier than paris if you ask me
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charles_leclerc i agree
pierregasly not as pretty as milan
charles_leclerc will you please shut up about milan
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yourusername sorry, i thought a bitch on twitter said something
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charles_leclerc oh my
pierregasly oh my x2
landonorris people should piss you off more often
danielricciardo shes a keeper charlesleclerc
charlesleclerc trust me i know
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charles_leclerc ma chérie
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yourusername but am i hot enough for you?
charles_leclerc i like your personality yourusername good answer
pierregasly 😧😧😧
yourusername close your eyes pierre
yellowhaas charles really said 'shes all mine'
hamiltvvn but can he fight
f1fanclubs for so long people have been saying she doesnt deserve him...besties...i think its the other way around
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this felt like a rushed ending but oh well
masterlist here
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aranock · 3 months
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I'm tired.
Just sort of in general I am exhausted. I know I put on a brave face a lot, but the hate does get to me. The constant unceasing hatred both offline and online gets to me. I'm human idk what to say. Been thinking a lot about the Bilbo quote, I might be paraphrasing, "I feel like too little butter spread across too much toast."
It's pride month, I should be feeling happy right? I convocated finally after a brutal long degree I should be feeling happy right? I like how my body looks for the first time in my life shouldn't I feel happy?
And I know that's not helpful, that feelings are not a should thing. And yet I feel it anyway :/. Not that I do not feel happy, I would say on average I am better than I have been at any other point in my life. But it does get to me.
I was invited to dinner with a former family member, a blood relative that breached every boundary I placed and even went so far as to accost me in a public space. It's hard watching someone lose all love for you the more you become yourself. Being told I'm an embarrassment to my parents by creeps online stings a lot more now that I had a blood relative say it to my face while aggressively yanking my jacket so I couldn't get away. I know its a lie, I know that this person saying that hurt my parents as much as it did me. Alas, anxiety rarely responds to facts or evidence.
Everytime it feels like I'm fine and over it; this person manages to weasel their way around boundaries to fuck up my mental health for a week. And the thing about chronic illnesses like mine is they flare up quite horrendously when you get stressed and anxious. Anxiety means waking up to acid burnt throat from reflux.
It makes my voice dysphoric all day.
I think deep down one of my greatest fears is that I am unlovable, that everyone around me secretly hates me and is just waiting for the excuse to finally be rid of interacting with me. I am terrified that I am a burden. Mortified by the false belief that I am broken.
Despite how horrific my childhood adolescence and some of my early adulthood were, my family was at least a safe place. I recognize that I was privileged to have that. With that said I think the reason this whole thing has rocked me so much is that it violated that one last place I felt safe. It has made me doubt the love of those I never thought I would.
Sometimes transphobia feels like drowning, and if you try to swim for air everyone decides to shove you further down cause actually it's proof you are faking needing breath.
I text someone anytime I go run errands, just to make sure someone knows. Had too many experiences of hate. I get anxious when I go to get groceries; will this be the time I get hit by a vehicle driven by a far right transphobe, am I going to get called a slur again, will the store staff get suspicious of me and search through all my groceries to make sure I actually paid for it. But please, tell me how I don't know what its like to be oppressed. When men sexually harass, catcall, creepily hit on, follow me around clearly I am not at all experiencing sexism. Obviously the real worst thing in the world is that women "cancel" people on the internet, and trans people exist. Did they think sending me hateful articles would suddenly make me go "oh yes clearly its all in my head, please genocide my community, I stand for nothing and have the moral backbone of a slug."
I don't really know why I'm writing this, I dont usually feel or desire to express something like this publicly. I will probably delete it later. Maybe I disappear into writing cause its easier to deal with the feelings that way. That at least then someone gets something out of my pain. That maybe it helps to condense emotional mountains to the mole hills of short strokes of a pen or presses of a key. To let them explode outward in a flurry of thoughts and words that others look at and say "I too have felt this, you are not alone, you are not wrong for feeling this way."
Anything to take the weight of it all off my chest for a second.
Because I am tired.
I'm exhausted really.
I don't want to be brave or strong or resilient. It's tiring to bear the weight of that and a billion projections. Atlas does not bear the heavens upon his shoulders because he is strong or brave. He bears it because he has no other choice. Because people put it on him.
I just want to exist; that is apparently too much to ask for as a trans woman.
If you are concerned, please don't worry I'll be fine, I was fine every other time after all. This too shall pass. But right now it hurts.
And I have had my fill of hurt for many lifetimes.
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spiderfangirl22 · 3 months
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For Your Eyes Only (Yandere Keanu Reeves x Assistant Reader)-Y/N L/N, never knew her life would take an unexpected turn when an encounter leads her to becoming, Keanu Reeves, Personal assistant.
Little did she knew was that this unexpected turn in her life would have her questioning the choice she made.
A/N: Sorry this is so short ill be making the next chapters longer. And Keanu Will be in the next chapter dont worry
CHAPTER 1: A New Start
“Y/N L/N?” A middle aged barista called out holding a medium sized coffee beverage. Y/N, who was currently engrossed in her book and almost a quarter into it. Instantly stopped what she was doing and placed her elegant floral bookmark on the page she was on, and tucked it firmly under her arm before making her way to the barista with her drink.
”Thank you.” Y/N replied softly spoken, as she gently took the coffee from the barista who she noticed had the name tag ‘Peggy’ written on it. “Have a great day.” 
Y/N inhaled the smell of her honey scented coffee, and closed her eyes blissfully. It had been weeks since she felt at ease, she didn’t really travel a lot and living in Florida with the horrible pay and benefits made traveling hard.
But alas here she was standing in a simple yet glorious cafe, as the small but elegant place was filled with plants, flowers and also a small bookcase in the corner lined with old books and magazines…In California.
Yes…California! The one place her family told her never to go to as the people there were toxic and breathed in some type of chemical in the air that made them nuts.
Y/N never believed in that stuff, sure people acted weird here, but so did other people in Florida and other states, what makes California so different from Florida?
It wasn’t like Y/N was here on purpose. She was invited to her best friends wedding and she had to go as she was the maid of honor…as well as unfortunately the wedding planner. 
She pleaded for, Jocylen and her fiancé and soon to be husband, Daniel, to pick anyone but her to be the wedding planner. But Jocylen was as stubborn as a bull sometimes and put her foot down, telling her that she and Daniel trusted in her to do an excellent job. 
As much as Y/N appreciated the trust they had in her, she was afraid of doing something wrong. To be honest she is always afraid of screwing something up. She knew why Jocylen and Daniel wanted her to be their wedding planner it was because of two reasons.
Reason one-She had beautifully designed a birthday party for her other friend, Hannah, so perfectly that after that day Jocylen and Daniel had pulled her aside to ask her.
Reason two-So she could finally get away from her-
So lost in thought about the wedding, Y/N didn’t notice the middle aged women coming towards her until it was to late.
Splat! The coffee in Y/N’s hand hit the floor with a splash, as she collided with the women in front of her. Quickly Y/N gently grabbed a hold of the women’s arms as she noticed she was about to fall, not caring if her book fell into the liquid bellow. 
“Shit! I’m so sorry ma’am,” Y/N exclaimed, her face etched in horror as she finally got the women steady. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
The women, who Y/n noticed had greying black hair, blue eyes, porcelain wrinkled skin, who appeared to have had been holding what looked like a binder full of what appeared to Resumes, only chuckled softly at Y/Ns panic.
”It’s fine dear,” The women spoke comfortingly as a grandmother would her grandchild. “I-“
”Here! Let me pick this up.” Y/N replied cutting the kind women off, as she bent down and tried to put the papers back into the binder as efficiently and gently as she could as to not rip them, before she handed the binder back to the women who took it was with gracious smile.
”You didn’t have to pick that up, dear.” The women spoke softly once more, before her blue eyes zeroed in on the spilled coffee cup on the floor as well as unfortunately the book Y/N had been reading smack dub in the middle of the coffee. “Dear me! Your book miss.”
Y/N, looked down and frowned at the book she had been reading ruined by the contents of her spilled coffee. But giving the kind women a gentle smile she bent down and retrieved her book and noticed all the pages were soaked and unfortunately as it is coffee the book would have to be thrown out as the pages would stick together. 
“No worries ma’am, I-“
”Regina.” The women spoke again, Y/N cocked her head to side fully not understanding. “Regina, my name is Regina May.”
The women known as Regina then held out her hand and Y/N, quickly put her book under her arm and used her free hand to shake the kind women’s. 
“Y/N..Y/N L/N.” Y/N replied back with a smile, before noticing a young man probably still in high school come over and start to clean up the spilled mess and didn’t hesitate to help out feeling guilty for the incident. 
Regina smiled,as she watched Y/N gently bend down and help the young man with the mess in which the young man sent a grateful and shy smile Y/N’s way.
Finally! After weeks of searching for a new personal assistant for her client, Keanu Reeves, who had fired his last one due to her belittling everyone who wasn’t a actor and just being an awful person in general, Regina had found Keanus new assistant.
Yes she has had several interviews with other people for the job. But from their expressions and words, Regina knew they either wanted fame and glory or to get into Keanus pants. She may be a sixty-seven year old women but she wasn’t blind. 
And she knew she couldn’t let someone as kind, warm-hearted and full of spirit out of her grasp, Y/N was the perfect candidate for Keanus Personal assistant.
So with a soft cough to get Y/Ns attention, Y/N looked up towards Regina who sent a smile towards her just as the young man left with dirty rag of coffee. 
“Yes, Ms. May?”Y/N asked,fully standing and slightly towering over the women. 
Regina laughed softly, “Please call me Regina,” She smiled, before she glanced down the the binder in her arms and back up at Y/N. “Are you looking for work by chance?”
Y/N was shocked by her question, not expecting it. It was as if her bad luck was finally turning around. She had been looking and applying for jobs for several weeks now having recently lost her current one due to harassment. And she had to quit as the harassment had unfortunately come from her boss.
”Y-Yes.” Y/N replied with a stutter, to which Regina only smiled.
”I would love to offer you a job as a personal assistant.” Regina replied, and Y/N’s eyes widened and causing Regina’s smile to grow even bigger. “You will be paid $45 hourly and weekly, and you will have a flexible schedule.”
Y/Ns eyes popped open so wide she thought they would fall out. “I don’t know what to say,” She managed to say, but she was hit with the realization that she doesn’t live in California but in Florida. “I’m deeply honored you would pick me out of the hundreds that are in that binder of yours…but I don’t live in California I live in Florida.”
Regina nodded still smiling, already knowing the young women wasn’t from here as she could see the Florida apparel on the girl. Having used to like in Florida herself Regina instantly knew a Floridian when she saw one.
“That not be a problem,” Regina spoke once more, and Y/N looked at her once more and stopped biting her lip. “You will have an apartment only three blocks from the person you will be working under.”
If Y/Ns jaw wasn’t connected to her mouth it would have fallen to the floor in her shock. A free home? A chance to finally move out of her hell hole and get away from-
“Then I will gladly accept the offer,” Y/N said and instantly hand out her hand to shake Regina’s once more, who laughed at her enthusiasm, but the question that was in Y/Ns mind that was nagging at her finally made her ask. “So who am I working for exactly?”
Regina smiled and held her binder to her chest, before she answered with only two words. “Keanu Reeves.” 
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chaifootsteps · 10 months
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y'know, im usually against using screenshot of people doing bad stuff in the past to "prove" that they are bad people nowdays; for example, when they try to get some youtuber cancelled because he said a slur 6 years ago or something.
Because that just negates the fact that us humans commit a lot mistakes, sometimes we do mean stuff, but that doesnt make us terrible humans that are incapable of redeming themseves, most of us grow out of those ugly behaviours, and learn to be decent human beings.
However, with miss Vivziepop its a different story, i like the fact that that we are still finding screenshot of her doing heinous things in the past, for 3 important reasons:
First, The things she did are like, actually really bad.
Its not like most cases where its like "omg this dud said the n-word when he was 12 and didnt know what a slur was! We must cancell him!1!", no, the things Vivziepop did are always when she was a grown ass woman that know what she was doing, she was just being evil.
And then you have her fans insisting those arent "that bad", thats its "a nothing burger", etc. And like, yeah, they ARE bad, those things are really mean and people arent evil for pinting it out.
It is important for growing up to reconise that our past behaviours were not good, thats how we learn better.
Defending a stranger on the internet will just lead you to repeat those behaviours of your idol because you conviced yourself those arent "that bad", until you do them and then you get hit with reality because, thanks to those behaviours, people dont like you anymore and see you as a rude toxic person.
Second, she proved many times she NEVER changed.
She still shows those gross behaviours, unlike most people she never learned to be a better person.
For example: that catcalling comic was made years ago, so, i guess it doesnt represent her views anymore, right? She is no longer misogynist, right?
Well, the way she treats her female characters, plus how she gets mad at people pointing out how badly written they are, proves she never stoped having those mean ideas about women.
Or how about those aboit how she was shaming a fan for not paying her what she wanted and making them feel bad for it? Obviously she grew up and never did something so mean like that again...
Oh wait! No she didnt, every once in a while we see her throwing a fissy fit about people criticising her work and liking tweets of her fans saying people are EVIL for not loving her and giving her all the support in the world.
And about those abuse allegations... wait, those are not even old, most of them are from less than a year ago. You cant even "those were years ago" out of this one.
So fuck the "those were long time ago, she changed!", thats total bs.
And finally, every time she responded or "apologised" for these acusations, she keep proving that she didnt belive she did anything wrong and its just "the haters" being mean.
Anybody remember when she made a weird ass apology that started with "i would apologise for existing, but i know people would get mad at me still"? Her responses are always full of "actually, YOU are the mean one for calling me out, look how bad i feel? Dont you feel any shame?".
One day she will def make a shitty youtube apology video where she admits everything but with the classic "i was in a bad place", "i didnt know what i was doing", basically painting everything as "just a mistake" and not her being an evil asshole. Then half of the video will be her ranting about how this whole situation that SHE created is making HER sad, she will probably said something like "i just wanted to make cartoons and people are being mean :(((" to victimise herself.
Mark my words, we will have a Vivziepop ukelele apology in any day of 2024, im really sure.
All I can say is that after everything she's put people through, she'd better have a damn ukulele.
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finlizziah · 8 months
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Redoing my introduction/pinned post cause apparently someone ated it 🙄
(Me infodumping about me time :333)
DNI: minors, bigots. (Remind me if I should add anything.)
Anyways, hai haii, prefer to be called Lizziah, though sometimes go by Liz/Lizzie.
I'm 19, NB femboy, autistic and adhd (diagnosed), anxious, moody and probably unstable :3
From the EU (if u know where do me a favor and keep it private).
Probably have puppyboygirlthing disorder (dependant personality disorder) so obsessed with 1-2 ppl at a time.
Romantically/sexually only into women, though I don't mind being friends with anyone. Also I'm very easy to tease
Some of my fav bands and artists are Tally Hall, Penelope Scott, Los Campesinos!, STYXII, Mother Mother, The Living Tombstone (zero_one specifically), and more. Feel free to recommend me stuff.
Media im into: Limbus Company (god I love it so much), Fate (unfortunately my autism has taken a liking to it, I play Fate GO...). Some anime like Dungeon Meshi, the Frieren elf one and Steins; Gate (it hit me so hard in the feels when I watched it ;w; )
Send me a dm/ask, I'll most likely reply/answer, though may not if I have chosen for ur vibe to be wrong. But if we talk we are friends, such is the law on my page.
I avoid most politics (though I may take interest in some stuff), nude images (feels gross seeing that), and get uncomfy from sharp object near the body, self mutilation ig? I dunno.
I collect tons of plushies (owner of 4 blahajs), linux user, (I'll add more later)
WILL REBLOG/MAKE HORNY POSTS, DONT FOLLOW IF U DONT WANT TO SEE THAT
I'll tag my own femboy selfies with #femboylizziah vent posts with #vent (currently #vent post , idk) and will try to add #asks to, well, asks.
Mmh yeah I'll add to this later, lemme know if I should add something. And if u read through all of that, send me an ask or dm or else you'll go to jail for a thousand years!!!!!!
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Genuine question: How do you overcome the feeling/idea that you're inherently bad at STEM because you're a woman?
OK so i grew up with an older brother (older by 1 year) and my mom always pushed him to do better at maths & physics especially because he showed interest in computer science, when it came to me she'd always say "oh dont bother with that, your brother is better at that stuff" " that stuff is too hard just pick something easy"... even though i got better grades than him, and she always encouraged him to perform better in school because she 100% believed he could amount to smth great, whereas she'd just say "well this is just what you're capable of" whnever i got a bad grade. She literally would say "you just don't have the brains for it"
I don't resent my brother, he always pushed me to do better and get better grades, he encouraged me to pick the hardest like "field" during high school. My dad would always nurture my love of physics and science in general, and he would say "i dont want you to be limited, just work hard".
But the way my mom treated me still affected me i think, sometimes i find myself still genuinely believing men are better than me just because theyre men.
I figured you could give some advice since youre in STEM yourself ?
oh, this is difficult. i have similar stories, although a different family dynamic. in my case, i was told (by my mother) that i was only good at things because i worked hard, while my brother was simply naturally good at them. now, you could argue this is a good thing (growth mindset and so on), but there are two issues that arise. first, most stem fields have some level of a genius cult. being effortlessly good at them is what you're supposed to do, while working hard is not enough unless you have the genius too. this is especially pronounced in maths/physics/computer science. second, the "you're only good at it because you work hard" hits very different when you're not actually working hard.
i think it can be partly ameliorated by surrounding yourself with women (take classes with female instructors, look for active "women in x" groups and activities, make an effort to be friends with other women who also like stem). another thing that helps is to be able to point at actual accomplishments when the doubt creeps in. these can be either from your education (yes, you did do really well in that analysis class) or informal accomplishments (from working with your field as a hobby).
i do think a lot of the advantage males have in stem classes is that they're encouraged to obtain these informal accomplishments already as teenagers, which both give them some knowledge and experience you can't get from formal instruction and give them personal "wins" to point to when things get difficult. so pick up amateur radio, or try your hand at building an app, or solve project euler problems, or see how many different kinds of frog species you can find. there's this pop-psych idea that you build confidence in the abstract and then accomplishments follow, but i'm entirely convinced it's the other way around. confidence comes from doing things. spending 20 hours trying to figure out how to set up a pi-hole in your apartment (even if 18 of those hours are spent doing it wrong) builds a lot more confidence in your abilities with computers than spending 20 hours trying to convince yourself that you're just as capable as a man.
anyone else want to chime in with tips for anon?
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discyours · 2 years
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I am sorry if its too much, you dont have to answer. For some reason i feel so deeply defeated and inadequate, i love my partner who is a female, as am i. and sometimes i cant stop thinking of how nature intended her to be with a male, not with me. I know this must sound stupid, i dont know how to get over when those thoughts hit, of how sexed bodies are made to be together, the sexual organs compliment each other in form, to connect and give pleasure, reproduce. Even if i couldnt care less about having children i know that this is crucial in nature. I guess i am just just heartbroken over the fact that the body of the person i love…was not meant to be with me? Whenever those thoughts come it feels so slashing. I wish i could feel love the way i do and not feel so wrong about it
Have you ever heard of the grandmother hypothesis? Most animals die as soon as they reach the end of their reproductive lifespan. Humans are one of very few exceptions (it's just us and a couple of whale species). Evolution has determined that we still have immense purpose when we aren't reproducing - in fact that's likely to be one of the biggest factors in humans being able to form such strong communities, compared to other species who spend their entire adult lives bearing and then caring for their own young.
We're all being lied to by people who insist that nature urges us to reproduce as much as we can, to fend for ourselves, to let the weak die out. Humans are social animals. Caring for the old, the weak, the disabled is in our nature (which means constantly caring for our own children can't be). People who aren't preoccupied with their own kids are vital to the way our species functions and it's engrained in our nature, both through the existence of menopause and the fact that some people are gay. Your attraction is natural and your girlfriend's nature drew her towards you, exactly as it was supposed to.
Straight sex is overrated. As a bisexual woman I've never felt that my body was better designed to have sex with men than with women - to the contrary. PIV can hurt and give you UTIs, semen can throw off your PH to the point of causing yeast infections, men spread disease far more easily than women do and pregnancy can kill you. Oh and giving a woman oral is a tongue workout at worst, as opposed to giving you TMJ dysfunction. Personally having sex with a woman felt a lot more like having sex the way it was naturally intended, as opposed to having to deal with a whole bunch of obstacles in order to make it work.
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booblywooblies · 20 days
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im gonna post this here bc i dont want anyone to get the wrong idea on main
ive been thinking for a long time about why detransitioners are usually afab, and i think im developing a couple theories. the first one is i think its more difficult to be classified as a man, genuinely, than a woman. i know that seems immediately incorrect bc a big aspect of transmisogyny is denying transfems their womanhood but i think even if transphobes are calling transfems men they dont really mean it. theres been some talk about which trans people have "male privilege" and some people argue transfems do and the most common response to that is that even if transfems are not out they are not regarded as true men, theres something about them that people can pick up on as inherently queer that others them from manhood (sometimes, all of this is sometimes nothing is universal)
i watched a video a while ago about the "incel to trans pipeline" which was kind of about the type of incel that isnt so much concerned with the lack of sex so much as being a failure as a man and how theres a group on like 4chan or something that seek transition not because theyre trans but to escape the pressures of masculinity and i thought that was really interesting
i think that in some ways, despite all the bullshit women go through with being belittled and objectified and disrespected, there is maybe some comfort in being the "weaker" gender, and the more "desireable" gender.
something ive been dealing with that, i mean it hasnt really been a struggle bc i enjoy men even when they are fat and greasy and hairy so im down with being that. theres something thats very weird about losing like, a certain pool of attention i guess. ive been hit with the realization that i will never be attractive to straight men again, and like thats a good thing because i wouldnt want them to see me as a woman im also kinda sad about it? like it feels like im losing a kind of power, even if its not a real power that has any actual use to me
and i probably dont even have to mention how intimidating it is to present myself to the world as a real man, especially when im 5 foot nothing and have H cups. like one thing when it comes to trans men that EVERYONE says about them is they are either basically only men in name, hanging on to their girly habits and interests in a way thats cringy and annoying, or they, in an effort to distance themselves from the first one just adopt toxic masculinity and beef up their own image of themselves by being more misogynistic
and obviously the first end is more on the people putting them down than the guys who are like that themselves, but thats what im really afraid of, ive already experienced being put down for my interests as a girl, the idea of being denied my real gender for any of that stuff is terrifying. and like, its kind of inherently misogynist to want to escape fully from femininity isnt it? and i do value anti-misogyny more than i do masculinity, thats definitely true in my heart. but it sort of feels at odds with each other, its hard to want to be a man, to seek approval as a man, to care about women being taken as seriously as you want to be taken, and to not put anyone down in your path to get there.
like if i wasnt so committed to it, if i believed this was ACTUALLY more in conflict than i really do, i could see myself as having a responsibility to not transition. im sure a lot of people have a different reason for doing that but i think it makes sense that so many afabs detransition because masculinity can break people.
and like BIG BIG BIG disclaimer, im not thinking about detransitioning, i dont think masculinity is inherently toxic, im gay and i have a cis husband, i think men are cool, i think women are cool and i like them a lot i respect them. im just inspecting this because i was not sure why it happens and i figured itd be in my best interest to figure it out, i think i have, i think its difficult and complicated but doesnt apply to me.
im transitioning bc it feels good and i have a man fetish 👍 and no one can stop me motherfucker
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anti-katsuki-lounge · 2 years
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Not sure if you are interested in receiving these sorts of asks anymore but I have lots of takes about missed potential in MHA because Hori IMO has a lot of good ideas but instead of developing them - leaves things half baked or takes questionable choices with them.
The Todoroki's - more specifically Todoroki Rei and Todoroki Fuyumi.
Todoroki Fuyumi - she had to basically act as mum to her younger brothers when her actual mum had a mental breakdown due to her father. That HAS to create some complicated feelings both with Rei (which is never explored) and Endeavor (which again is never explored bar Fuyumi's want of a happy family.) It also should be shown to have an affect on how her brothers see her (which is also rarely touched on.)
Todoroki Rei - It should have taken her WAY more for her to forgive Endeavor bar remembering her favourite flower. It comes across as seriously unhealthy that Hori put this in and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth that he's using this and her as a way to uplift Endeavor - especially when abusers acting like this IRL are usually doing it to manipulate you . IMO it would be more understandable for her to have an attitude similar to Natsuo or Shoto considering what she went through at the hands of Endeavor. It would also support that this facility is trying to make her get better rather than influencing her to think in a way that benefits Endeavor (letting those flowers through from someone who they know abused Rei is wrong IMO.)
It seems like Hori doesn't seem to want to show his women going through complicated or 'ugly emotions' like anger or hatred and this is a key example of that.
Additionally I feel like this storyline particularly as it is around such a sensitive topic should have been handled with more care. Particularly in regard to the "everyone is at fault" and the "Shoto is our families hero" sentiment Hori had Rei say.
It comes across as victim blaming and golden child (good victim- hero Shoto) vs scapegoat (bad victim - villain Touya). Something which a lot of NPD affected families have gone through at the hands of their NPD parents so no wonder those statements from Rei put a bad taste in peoples mouths.
A natural disaster didn't hit this family. The root cause (as Natsuo rightfully said) was Endeavor.
If Hori wants to redeem Endeavor (I dont think he should have - but not up to me) he should have let him take full responsibility and not retcon what had occurred to make Endeavor easier to stomach.
One of the greatest flaws in Endeavor’s arc is that outside of Shoto and Rei, we don’t really see how much it’s damaged the family. With Fuyumi, her desire to be a family again could be caused by Endeavor’s abuse but it isn’t explored nearly as much as it should’ve been. With Rei, this was a woman who couldn’t be in the same room as others, completely terrified of the world around her due to how Endeavor messed her up. Yet all it takes is one flower that she likes for her to suddenly be willing to forgive him? That’s just bad writing. In addition, like you’ve said, the series sometimes retcons actions of characters to make them look less bad, and one of those instances ends up being the moment where Endeavor hits Rei. All in all, compared to Katsuki’s arc, Endeavor’s is better written but still has extreme flaws.
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youremyheaven · 5 months
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I’m not Indian but the thing you said about body shaming from parents really hits. I do come from an immigrant background though and I feel like a lot of our cultures have normalised this behaviour.
But even my dad who is not an immigrant (yk those older white men who marry significantly younger women from 2nd/3rd world countries? An elder passport bro if you will lmao), once made a comment in a highly derogatory tone about my ass being too big. It wasn’t really sexual but more so a comment on my weight gain at the time, but bro I was 12 and I still think about it😭
People talk about body positivity a lot but growing up chubby/with curves is deeply traumatic and it makes me sad to think about how many of us experienced this
that was so wrong of your padre 😭😭
i s2g i feel like all non-white parents are more or less like this, and i guess even some white parents. its such a shame bc i remember being 13-14 and i felt hideous like nobody would even want to look at me and my mom would slut shame me and im like ??? babe im ugly and fat,, no part of me is "sexy" or "desirable" ALSO IM 13??? but she would talk like i was seducing every man in the city lmfao
I S2G the trauma of my early teens fcked me up ngl. its so heartbreaking to just transition from girlhood to adolescence and coming to terms with your burgeoning womanhood. like that's such a complicated experience to make peace with??? until yesterday i was a child but now i am still a child but people dont look at me like that, weird men on the streets catcall you, say disgusting things when you're within earshot, your mom thinks you're a whore even tho u literally do not know what exactly sex involves, strangers are sending u dick pics and porn gifs, now u have to worry about other people's intentions bc they might be trying to "take advantage" of you when a few months ago, they saw u as an innocent child. if someone gropes you, you hate yourself, you feel disgusting and dirty and no one tells you its not your fault. you feel afraid of people, of how they look at you, of what they might do to you, you dont want to be seen, you dont want to be touched. if you tell someone you were assaulted, sometimes they tell you its because you were careless or that you were asking for it or worse that you secretly enjoyed it. you cant eat or you eat too much, food becomes a source of shame. you want to feel like you have value, like you have power so you try to "own" your sexuality. fine if everyone thinks im a whore anyway i might as well "own" it except that it literally doesn't help. you feel worse. you dont know who you are because your whole identity revolves around how others perceive u and not what u have to offer as a human being. u think talent is worthless if u arent pretty. i could go on and on
literally female adolescence is a hellscape and every girl should get a medal for surviving it.
im sorry for my long (probably triggering) ramble but i just had to let it out lmao
im sorry that we've had to go thru this. praying for all girls and future women<333
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sentientgopro · 10 months
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Hey y'all, not exactly active on here, especially when talking about myself, but I really need to get some shit off my chest right now. I had a couple realisations yesterday that culminated in some shit I never thought I would be saying or thinking.
I never thought I could be anything but straight. I liked women, so I mustve been straight. Im definately an advocate for everyone giving their gender true consideration, even when most will come out the other side cis, and confidently so, as did I.
Then I realised I didn't like women in the way most straight guys do. Afer clearing up some prior misconceptions about Aromanticism and asexuality, I realised those two labels fit me perfectly. But sometimes I wonder why I still feel a certain way about girls. There's just something about the way they look that's appealing to me, even if I dont find girls attractive...
Oh shit. That wasn't attraction. That was envy.
So that train of thought kind of went from 0 to 10 real fucking fast. This realisation brought to my attention feelings that Ive had for a good while, but have passed off as r/196 induced brainrot. Besides, and this is the biggest thing that stopped me realising this earlier, I dont feel that who I am now is wrong. I look in the mirror, and I see myself. But I've only recently kinda grasped the concept that being trans isn't all about dysphoria, having dysphoria is not always the way to tell. Although I dont think being a man is wrong, fucking hell, being a girl would be much better. And it feels so fucking weird actually typing that.
But what I'm saying is, atleast for the time being, I could manage to just not do anything. Which is for the better seeing as my parents would start screaming at me for saying anything remotely in the direction of being an ally. And I live on TERF Island. Transitioning would be an absolute pain in the ass, especially right now, so it kinda feels like why bother when the way I am doesnt really feel wrong. Transitioning could be quite dangerous and have big risks, it kinda just feels like I dont need that shit in my life, Im already running on fumes and a list of people I need to outlive. I usually hold a mindset of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", but this usually applies to binary things, like if my team wins using the same strat a few times in a row in CS, "Do it again, ain't broke, don't fix", but this is not nearly as binary as that, this isn't a win/loss.
Something that is both comforting and a little concerning is that no matter what, there is atleast a 2 year hold on this. I should be able to go to uni after that and start living my own life, but as of right now, doing something like transitioning is NOT an option. Ive got a 2 year long planning phase and Ive kinda just been taking stock tbh. I don't think "that" period of my life hit too hard, Im still skinny (Yeah, ik skinny =/= feminine but its better than being buff imo) kinda fuckin tall, if my growth follows the same as my brother did which it is so far Im gonna be like 6'3 by the end of that 2 years (6'1 now) so thats probably gonna be more of a mild annoyance than a genuine problem. My voice varies ALOT, I can have a pretty damn low voice, and a bit of a higher pitch, it naturally varies, I normally find I talk in a higher pitch when I'm happier and lower when Im trying to appear more... normal? idk, theres probably somrthing to think about in that.
Honestly idk, theres no real end point to this, I just wanted to talk about this somewhere. As much as I never saw myself being in this position, I use r/196, play ULTRAKILL, and Study Computer Science and want to continue it as a career path, cmon, it was only ever a matter of time, this was inevitable.
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uncannycyke · 2 years
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I just wanna say, I saw your posts discussing Hickman's X-Men, and I just wanna say you really hit the nail on the head as to why I don't like Krakoa at all. The X-Men are made up of a wide variety of characters coming from different cultural backgrounds. And instead of expanding and fleshing that out more, now it's just all about Krakoa.
i think its a lot better these days? his krakoa had this air of "something is wrong here. dont trust the leadership" and especially charles, moira, and sometimes even his erik when interacting with those two felt...a little sinister. i think hickman's krakoa delved into some themes that were bad that easily contributed to my feelings on His Run because disabled characters were coming back in abled bodies (and a rhetoric of being born as your best self), the books were incredibly white, the state was forcefully keeping mystique from her wife, and there was little interest in writing female characters/his usual problems with writing women popped up.
I think hickman delves into the "something is eerie and wrong with krakoa" vibe a lot and the way the series starts with a timeskip and suddenly these characters have Off Panel made up with each other (like the summers forgiving Vulcan) and formed bonds with each other we never saw develop so that also contributed to my feeling of "so something must be really off people dont change overnight 180 degrees".
but when more and more writers came onto the books and his hands were less prominent on the series, it got a lot better and i kind of realize krakoa's problems are just more indicative of how hickman writes. he's kind of terrible with character moments/development cause he prefers big plots so thats why everyone changes overnight and also...he is a cishet white able bodied guy so some of these issues were simply his cishet white able bodied guy-isms showing through his writing.
zeb wells did great work on hellions in addressing the mentally ill and even fixed greycrow's racist name finally + gave kwannon much to do (i think she's one of the best parts of this era), al ewing in sword made a point to have wiz kid decry the fact that xavier comes back in an abled body and he says "i choose to stay as i am, there is nothing wrong with me" so hickman's rhetoric isnt the only one (actually its the outlier), ewing fixed duggan's sidelining of storm by doing great work with her front and center in sword, x-men: red, and storm and the brotherhood of mutants, vita ayala finally gave karma a girlfriend + made her the star of their book to finally focus on that character like no one else has before, nyla rose got to get their hands on thunderbird and had him center his native american culture above his pretend mutant one, and trung le finally got to give karma a vietnamese name.
duggan is still the worst writer easily, but a lot of good work w krakoa gets done/got fixed once hickman wasnt the only voice, i found. not every book is solid gold (and duggan's unfortunately still on the line), but its definitely a lot better in some of these other writers' hands
and obviously, hickman's krakoa is a little wrong because we were supposed to be picking up on some of that (re: moira) since the big reveal is that she's evil in inferno. but some of the other problems get fixed just by other writers worldbuilding in such a way that corrects him like by addressing how ableist it is in story to have the "we fixed the disabled person!" rhetoric.
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menalez · 2 years
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oh strap discussion: im p much a virgin so take this with a grain of salt and im also mostly a touch-me-not i suppose. but to me fingers can be very hit or miss. i lack sensation so maybe thats why i need more stimulation in the times when i do want to get touched? idk but i also want to be the one using the strap. i dont get much out of clitoral stimulation myself due to health issues, so if i get touched i would prefer penetration. overall i try not to get touched because of pain.
also wrt gender roles, i can see it. for some unfortunate reasons, sex for me always has to have some level of power exchange or dynamics going on, no matter how vague. i dont think i can unlearn it fully, so it sticks with me forever i guess. i dont like male bodies but sometimes i like a more manly attitude from my partner, a masculine woman whos confident and rough, not violently aggressive but like, i enjoy seeing the lust and desire in her and her struggling to resist her attraction to me. maybe this is kinda cringe, sorry.
it’s not cringe lol also there’s nothing wrong w what u said at the end & i get the sense u think it’s weird? i also like women with a more “manly” attitude (well. i consider it like masculine & confident type of attitude rather than manly bc idk connotations of the word manly is diff). i like roughness too and i like when my partner is like really excited and seems to struggle to resist me & is consumed w lust. i feel like that’s normal? like we all enjoy feeling desired and esp when we see our partner’s desire for us is so extreme that they can’t contain it
but also that makes sense. i do think gender roles and certain roleplay & dynamic plays a major role in a huge portion of lesbians that love strap-ons but some are also touch-me-nots and prefer it for reasons related to dysphoria, or like u mentioned having some kind of pain. lots of lesbians who prefer penetration over oral in my experience also often find oral stimulation TOO intense or like. don’t feel it enough. i think i remember reading some of it has to do with like external vs internal clitoris or sth? in my case at least the whole external vs internal clit applies bc my preference is without a doubt oral (both giving & receiving, but giving isnt always possible depending on my sexual partner) over penetration & mine yanno is. prominent let’s say
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ileaveclawmarks · 2 years
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different anon here but I just want to say I genuinely appreciate how unapologetic and confident you are about ur body hair especially as someone who is attracted to women with body hair and as someone who prefers to not shave but feels pressured to due to societal norms and what not idk I guess I'm just wondering how you like got over/ stopped caring about what other people think cause that's what's difficult for me :/
Thats literally everything i want to hear. i love doing this cuz not only is the insane excess body hairy a huge automatic dyke magnet that i dont even have to put any work into, but also because for every 10 people who look at me with revulsion theres always 1 person who thinks … maybe i can also have the confidence to do that. Thats my revolution. okay this ones gonna be long so hit that read more
So. when i was a novice non-shaver going out in public with even just a sliver of hairy leg showing literally gripped me in fear, like panic stricken burning fear. It was insane and pathetic and ridiculous how disabling this terror was over such a stupid arbitrary thing. I used 2 have repetitive nightmares about it, just the sickest dread terror imaginable. LMFAO.
If ur gonna ask how to get over that fear the straight answer is u cant, not fully. This is the product of some serious conditioning and socialization that has been at work since u were born. like it doesnt just go away. Even i havent gotten over it, like sometimes i seriously struggle with it. U can definitely get used to it though. I prefer to not shave and feel that everyday terror over shaving. And ill tell u why, so u can approach it with the same reasoning.
first of all i hated the physical act of shaving, really fckin hated waxing, every hair removal method is either painful, time consuming or expensive. And its worthless anyways because ur stubble is back in by the next morning. Who benefits?? and what are the consequences? I am making my body unnatural, conformist, and alien to me through a tedious and painful process. why do i harm myself in this way? Why put my psyche thru this? why is my body wrong in its natural state? what happens if i DONT shave?
and this is the crux of the matter: NOTHING HAPPENS. Other than the fact that it creates this fear, there is NO consequence to not shaving. In general no one will care and no one will treat you any different. Nothing will change in your daily life. you may likely get stares or rude comments from strangers on occasion but at the end of the day those things dont really matter. They seriously dont matter at all. Let go of the need to be judged correctly by all strangers. These people are fleeting milliseconds of your life. Remember this every time u go out.
and u must go out ... in this case exposure therapy really does work. Theres literally nothing else 2 do but go out unshaved. Just force urself over and over. Just do it. Do it until u dont even realize anymore. The day will come! U wont even notice it until ur looking at the women around u in public and u find it strange to see them hairless. On this day u will revel in ur shavelessness. Thank god u dont look like the prepubescent pedophilic fantasy that the mans world wants u to look like. U will view it with revulsion and horror, the idea of making urself into a little hairless girl to emulate their sick pornography and obsession with fucking literal minors. Never again!!!! This is where the revolution starts!!!
and i will tell u now. Once u finally grow out ur leg hair and theres no stubble or itchiness left it is going to feel so nice. Stroke it nd shit, for real. This is important. Look at it with luv. If you cant do that, look at it with neutrality. GET USED 2 ITS PRESENCE ... this is ur one and only body.
Now, if u can, find urself a group of women or lesbians who also dont shave. Look for urself in them and feel comforted by the fact that u wont b judged here. Get ur mind used to the NORMALCY of body hair. If ur lucky u might have other lesbian or even just alternative friends who find your body hair sexy or are jealous of ur confidence in growing it out. HUGE EGO BOOST! Take it when u can find it. This one helped me a lot because i am a natural attention whore and narcissist.
And besides if ur anything like me in that u fucking hate males with a militant blood boiling violent rage, then u might also remind urself: the struggle you face over your body hair is ABSENT in all the men that you see around you. Absent. Never there and never will be. what gives them the right and not me? They live their lives so mindlessly free of any of this. Dont shave your legs cuz … fuck em, thats why!!! 🗣 Show those sick mfers. Dyke revolution by just walking down the street and being comfortable in ur own skin. Love the strange looks that u get in public. Fuck them!!!
So thats how i mostly stopped caring about being unshaven, kind of a mix of acknowledging how stupid it is to do so as well as a bit of exposure therapy, community, and good old dyke hatred and cynicism. Remember that every time you go out you are showing other women that this is a possibility for them too. I hope this little guide gave u some inspiration for the future. I appreciate how hard it is to stop shaving but honestly once u do stop its even harder to start doing it again. Good luck and i wish u all the strength, drive, confidence and attitude u r going 2 need. And if u ever want to talk more about it im always right here at ileaveclawmarks on tumblr.com ... 🤍🤍🤍
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tears-of-boredom · 1 year
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played the first two episodes of Tell me Why today. damn. still wanna know the context behind why they call her by her first name. and also i kept calling Tyler gay in my mind and i kept reprimanding myself for that because its not a good habit to call literally every dude gay. but also...was i wrong. see if you call every single dude "gay as fuck" you'll be right some of the times at least. world philosophy right there. i have no idea what "world philosophy" means. i just say shit and hope it sounds right most of the times. oh and also i feel bad cuz i dont remember alyson's friend's name, like i somehow mi.....its michael isnt it. yeah theyre name is michael. at least i hope so. anyways so their vibe is so me. like we are on the same wavelenght vibe-wise. except i dont got game like him. man has rizz not gonna lie. smooth mother fucker. i did blush at those dialogues. you know the ones if youve played ep2. my mans got rizz like no other. also he's hot. and has a septum piercing. and i did call him gay as well just out of habit. tbh i really missed the opportunity to call alyson gay. i need to get on that tomorrow when i continue the game. to be honest i think its because i call attractive people gay. i dont know why really, but if i see an attractive person, i will call them gay as fuck. ig because in those moments i myself feel gay? idk. and sorry alyson, ig youre just not my type. girl's real pretty but i like my women with a bit more moustache ya know. and that isnt a way to say that i dont like women. i mean that whole heartedly: i lfind women who have moustaches attractive. mostly just because facial hair looks good on about anyone. clean shaven face aint my thing just in general. which is why im so fucking sad that i cant grow shit on my face. like bro cmon i have testosterone in me. atleast some amount. give me a fucking moustache.
anyways yeah i forgot to say that tyler is hot too. and also one thing is specific: theres one scene where i got this vibe that he wasnt angry at a person because there was a reason to be angry at them, but because, well,, when youve been angry at someone for so long, and people confront you about it, sometimes you just get stuck on like, defending yourself. defending your anger. even if there isnt a reason for it anymore. you dont want to feel like all the time youve been angry at them, you were wrong to be so. and when you get riled up, its hard to calm down and regocnise that forgiving someone in the present, doesnt invalidate the feelings you had of them in the past. and you just get stuck having this tunnel vision where you are angry at this person. doesnt matter why, you just are. because youve always been angry at them.
yeah so, i was probably just reading into that scene a bit too much, but i just related real hard alright. its the one with tyler and alyson talking to brown for the second time. it just fucking hit me. and then there was that later scene with tessa. and,, the vibes were just different. it was much calmer, and no one said anything that would've made him feel the need to be defensive. they had a conversation. and i think, if tyler and brown could manage to let out their steam, and then have a calm conversation, tyler would probably forgive him.
i just. i know that feeling so well. being mad at someone just because, well, you hate them. and you dont even remember why, but wouldnt you be such an asshole if this whole time youve been angry at them for no reason. so you double down. think that whatever it is that made you hate them, it was bad enough to warrant your grudge. and you nitpick all of their actions to find little things that annoy you, or something about their behaviour you didnt like, or maybe you didnt like the tone of voice they used that one time. and when your anger is running out of steam, you remind yourself of all those little things. and its hard to talk to anyone about it, because everytime you do, you find that there isnt really a reason for your feelings. and confronting that is hard, especially if youre doing with the person you are angry at. and the smallest of things they say or do in that calm moment can feel like an attack on your character. belittling you. or maybe they just laugh. and you dont like how lightly they seem to be taking this conversation. they arent taking it seriously. they arent taking you seriously. and you go quiet and add that conversation into the pile of reasons to hate them.
another media post that turned into venting. sorry. and yes that was about my mother, surprise surprise. though ive got testimony from third parties(mys sister), about how my mother sucks, and that evidence will last me for a while. im not even trying to forgive her at this point, im just trying to save myself.
she likes to say that im stubborn and resiliant. when adults ask what kind of person i am. i guess sometimes i feel stubborn in my anger, but that does not last for good things. i have no patience for myself, and no resilience to keep trying. i am pretty stubborn when it comes to proving people wrong. but most of the time im just trying to prove them that im not as good or smart as they think. showing that i dont have "potential for anything, if you set your mind to it". showing that i dont have the strenght to get out of bed. proving that "only a week of school" isnt easy for me.
god okay i dont want a repeat of yesterdays whole ordeal so im forcing myself to cut this now. sorry for the typos, i cant dwell on this longer.
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