#dont get me wrong i think theres a lot of room for dick to be horrible to jason

[bestangelofall]

Good god it's so nice to read Dick & Jason interactions with Dick being super in character but when it's written by someone who doesn't fucking hate Jason and doesn't use Dick as a mouthpiece to bash him 😍

[ca1e70]

daverose indie rock house show au chapter........ 1.5?

"so like i didn't write this song or anything, but i mean technically i should be on the credits because i DID come up with one of the drum fills and i totally deserve credit. don't let them tell you any differently" the first few words came out echoey through the shitty speakers stacked around the living room and kitchen. at least until the blond guy with the shades fiddles with with the microphone while still giving his little spiel. he also manages to kick the "pedalboard" by his feet and nearly sends the cracked skateboard housing questionable equipment clear into the kitchen. he doesn't, though, but the mic picks up his worried curses anyway. back to the situation at hand. "our regularly scheduled lead is on vocal rest because of... what was it?" 

hes turning back from the only slightly attentive crowd to look at the bassist. she has rubber bands youd expect to see on a set of extensive braces adorning her fingers while she mines a line and makes a face at him. she doesn't know. shes not even the regularly scheduled bassist. 

"actually fuck it who gives a shit but i'm not changing the lyrics so just bear with me while i butcher some sapphic undertones" and their fill-in for the fill-in drummer is coming in early. 

this is the second time rose lalonde has come across the man currently fumbling his way through a guitar riff like he'd never picked one up before. she would be none the wiser if it wasn't for the fact she knew the stand-in bassist, and she had heard plenty of talk about the stand-in drummer turned lead guitar and singer. this place did a lot of stand-ins. you'd think by now they would have created at least ONE set band, and maybe they did, but rose couldn't care less about the semantics of indie bands and their makeup of artists. she knows she heard one girl on her way to the bathroom talk about a different guitarist sending an unsolicited dick pic, and decided she didn't really want to be involved in the politics of 'local musicians'. 

she was here, once again, at the request of her dear friend blowing everyone away with her ability to jump around the small dining room area and still hit every note. every time it looked like her hair had obscured her vision enough to send her tumbling into the guy not only wearing shades inside, but at night, jade managed to keep her balance up right. it's the only reason she stayed firmly planted on the kitchen counter in the background. it's also the only reason rose came again, because jade promised to "make it up to her by actually showing up and performing". 

no one said anything about dave strider being front and center, though. she had half the mind to turn around and walk out the second she saw him tinkering with a power outlet. jade had already spotted her, though, and the escape plan went out the window. which is why she is once again stuck watching performances from what seems like a messier counter than last time, but i digress. 

dont get her wrong. dave isnt half bad! if he had some training, maybe a better grasp on guitar work in general he would be good. if he had some more practice with the song he is, as he said, butchering. it isnt until he picks up in on the lyrics that she takes a second to really pay attention. 

he isnt anything special. the southern accent he tries desperately to cover up makes its way out on certain words, he manages to keep in pitch and tone well enough she doesnt have to cover her ears, and theres a couple girls in the living room that yell when he starts singing. they scream, is more like it, and one of them is giggling at the other and theres a slight twinge in rose’s stomach that makes her want to run out of this house and never stop running until she makes it to antarctica. 

she wants the girl to leave. she wants the guy in the shades to shut the fuck up and stop singing in front of everyone here. she wants jade to leave her bassist post and come over here right this very second so she can slap rose and tell her shes going insane. instead of any of that happening, rose hops off the counter again and starts to fill up a red solo cup with sink water. the physical act helps her keep her mind off of dave and how she feels her heart rate picking up at the idea that another girl could think he was cute. or that his voice was nice. or want to do something like go on a date with him when rose has already done that, ruined that, and ghosted him. 

well, she didnt ghost him. itd only been a week and she just hadnt replied to his messages because she was busy with school. just because he and jade had school together and talked every day, and jade said that dave asked about her and was worried, and she never replied back, does not mean shes ghosting him. 

if she was ghosting him the nickels wouldnt be still sitting on her bedside table, like a memento of something that happened with a weird boy in a bathroom. 

rose manages to overfill the cup and continue overfilling it until the song is over. when silence hits the room (just before scattered applause) she turns the faucet off and stares at the ripple of the water in her cup. she would never drink something like this, but it had given her something to do, so she dumps it back into the sink and crushes the cup to let loose a little bit of self contained anger. 

she should have waited because theres a rather jazzy little guitar fill – not bass, guitar – and she has to walk around the wall in the kitchen just to make sure she isnt hallucinating. it must be a cover, one he’s worked on before, because the audience goes a little crazy and when he starts singing again they sing along. its one shes never heard, but it isnt as if shes all that up to date on the scene shes currently swathed in. dave had sent her a playlist of music to listen to, ones that would help her out if she ever came back, and she wondered if this one was on it. she wondered if she could have been singing along with him like the girls stationed right in front of his microphone. she wonders if she could have been cheering him on like he deserved. 

no, he didnt deserve it. hes just a boy. hes just a boy with a kind of good voice that can apparently play the guitar well enough and supposedly plays the drums like a god. something rose has only heard rumors of and yet to see, and theres the smallest part of her that hopes she does one day, but she shoves that down quickly in favor of staring into the back of those girls heads like shes going to make them explode.

this is jealousy and she doesnt like it. she didnt even know she was capable of jealousy. she wants to never feel jealous again, and jade is gearing up for a bass solo and sees rose in the actual ‘audience’. her name is yelled into the microphone and rose can feel her face turning red when dave’s face appears between the two witches he has as fans.  the witches turn around as well. the entire house turns around to look at rose right as jade starts playing and rose just… stands there. still as a caught mouse. a truly dead possum. caught in the fact dave smiled when he caught sight of her and went back to messing with the pedalboard. she wants to run away and disappear right then and there.

she does, to be fair, once jade has finished her solo and looks back at rose for approval shes back to trying to find an escape route for the time being. somewhere that she doesnt have to look at a stupid little blond boy or feel emotions she hasnt felt since her mother smiled wider at a wine shipment than the carefully crafted scarf she had made her for christmas one year as a kid. she wanted to break every bottle in that crate just like she wanted to break every bone in those girls bodies, so she takes her rage up the stairs and into a bedroom she can find unlocked. theres shockingly no one in there, but it doesnt take her long to realize why. 

above the bed is an entire shelf of preserved animals. there are cords across the floor like nobodys business, the entire room is a tripping hazard, and the sheets on the bed look rumpled and unchanged and the entire room smells of formalin and teenage boy. 

no one is going to come in here, though, so its safe. its safe enough she shuts the door behind her and carefully crosses the room to open a window for airflow. the fan in the corner doesnt really do the room much help, so this should make it less stuffy. her head is sticking out and her hands are on the ledge of the window and she can still hear dave singing underneath her but its muffled. far away. just like her house, and yet, last friday he walked her all the way there. it had to have been forty minutes. she took a cab here again, no idea how she would get home. she fully hoped jade would give her a ride back so she didnt have to walk or be walked by a man who probably went way out of his way for that. 

she doesn't even know where he lives, after all.

[in-decisivo]

on @yo_xeph disclaimer: made this note before the new year (i just want it out here - some of the things i wrote here are still true to me but some pov are different bcos i scorched the earth for answers myself) int. eversince finding out this account i had an internal battle of wether im worthy or not, am i great or not, why do we keep things in hiding there are posts that triggers me a lot to a point i have to wash the anxiety away for days (asking for dick pics, asking for penetration from anyone) it really made me feel bad because why? when im here and breathing the same air you do eversince finding out this account my confidence cracked, because everytime were alone in a room you somehow make gestures to resist intimacy or just avoid it altogether im not the one to talk this one out loudly because generally di naman ako big on sex positivity i kept it inside because i was thinking im not going to be enough, look at his likes tab thats what he likes and not you mike, look at the interactions those people will please him not you mike i kept it inside because i think it doesnt matter but i think it does really matter i am now seeing myself as someone whos not going to be enough even in sexual intimacy i was frustrated i was angry i was anxious i was confused i felt you somehow cheated and everything at once all at once up until this day of writing and its so unfair for me but i just waited it out maybe this is just nothing im making things up again im going to be at your knees wishful thinking sorry im the problem but i just waited it out i get most fed up or frustrated up to every retwt u make when it mirrors our love at some point like the way we cuddle or how we acted or how we both played during sex, in those times i think about you always the hardest i have to endure yet was from pride march at our airbnbl i was just staring at the space you were taking a bath when you said some snarky comment and it just made me feel inferior and start asking myself have i done something bad this time? have i done something wrong which now why youre angry but i just thought to myself hes teasing me it okay now it has taken a toll on both of us & some parts of me still thinks we both need it? maybe because we both skipped this part? i dont know if doing it with you will make you or me pleased? can we still do it? do you want to do it with me? can we do it to make up? can we not do it because my i might not like it after? sometimes i dreams of all the days when your skin intertwined with mine or have you found someone new maybe theres someone new

[gokupowers]

do you have any tips for writing dave or rose?

!!!! i am no expert but!

dave: rambles, asks a lot of questions without waiting for the answer. his raps are truly shit. in terms of actions, i usually think of repressed closeted gay guys who compensate w hypermasculinity + the kind of people that are overly chill bc theyre super emotionally repressed. hes clearly a smart guy but he can't help but bring in a million references in all his jokes, and he remains very casual/flippant about most things (if he got stabbed, he would quip before reacting properly). later in the comic, he becomes more rambley but this is more clearly out of anxiety/habit than to be funny. it depends on which characterization you go with (early or late comic); pesterquest kinda makes him this shy blushing guy who poorly hides behind the cool guy mask, but 2009 dave was a genuine menace/vibe terrorist. like remember him and tavros' first interaction? thats p much what i think of most when i try to write him aggressively. for his rambles, i have ADHD and i have a rambley thought pattern so i just let my thoughts wander, though you might have to force yourself to do it. sometimes theres emotional beats i want to hit so i plan it out, but usually his main dialogue can be broken down into (genuine sentiment) (pop culture reference) (train of thought rambling to hide genuine sentiment) then rinse and repeat. he has a fixation on sex and dick jokes and hes very irreverent. sometimes he can be defensive. honestly the best tip is trying to remember his main character motivations: for me, i think his is being invulnerable. he's all about being the strongest person in the room; that can translate into social capital (cool guy persona/being perceived as cool), physical prowess, or whatever u want it to be. dave is a character that constantly wants to prove to himself and others that he cannot be hurt, even though he's actually kind of a sensitive guy (a pacifist whos forced to fight). his "coolness" (which is actually just being a fucking weirdo? i dont think dirk or dave actually know what being cool means other than apathetic. i def think he was homeschooled) is a mask and a compulsion, so keep that in mind! also, i think its good to have people as contrast to him bc hes so weird/aggressively chill to emphasize the weirdness of his own actions/behavior, cuz that gets lost when hes next to the other strilondes (karkat is a good comedic striaght man). one of the biggest flaws, i think, when people write him is when they make him this shy traumatized guy who can do no wrong. he clearly is capable of hurting people (and has done so!), usually as a result of his antagonistic bluster or violence. his whole character journey is about strength and confidence in a very masculine way, and that means that people can get hurt.

rose: she's literally susan sontag. most of her writing style is very similar to 70s-80s feminist scholarship, when most essays were about freud and phallic imagery. she has mommy issues and a penchant for passive aggression. like dave w irony and coolness, she hides behind big words/intellectualism and freudian psychoanalysis. they both deeply dislike not being in power/having control, though dave's comes from being conditioned into it and rose's is a genuine compulsion from her childhood. she has trouble being vulnerable/relinquishing that control. it should be noted that her psychoanalysis, while i think she's a smart girl, is almost entirely for show bc fruedian analysis is not really regarded as helpful/viable among contemporaries. she is constantly on the defense; she interprets her mom's well-meaning actions as cruelty, and doesn't trust easily/assumes the worst out of other people. when i think of her, i mostly just think: what would a lesbian with mommy/trust issues do? and its usually pretty straight forward from there. she pretends to be calm, but is prone to a lot of impulsivity and petty anger (blowing up eridans computer, blowing up her own planet/house). ironically, she's one of the easier characters for me to write, bc her character schtick is pretty much my academic writing. if you're struggling with dialogue or tone, just read some of sontag's writing LOL. like how in detective pony dirk plagiarizes a lot of derrida, i think rose would do the same with sontag. against interpretation is a good one if you're up for the read! also shes cuttingly sarcastic and smart/sees through things easily, but that can make her a really difficult person to get along with. dont be scared to make the characters unlikeable. cuz all of the HS characters kind of are unlikeable as people, esp if you dont know them well. like, shes the type of bitch to tell you john berger style all the flaws of marvel as a piece of military propaganda when you're just trying to watch chris evans' man boobs. for her, everything is deep/more than it appears on the surface. + her alcoholism is interesting because she hates giving up control, and alcoholism is what enables her to do so. i dont think most people understand inherently that she is a darker character. people do the whole horror terror stuff fine, but i mean that she is prone to cruelty and manipulation because its how she reacts to perceived danger. shes very girl dirk in that sense. people make her hyper-competent and hyper mentally healthy, but in my opinion? dont be afraid to make her a bitch, LOL.

if you get the chance lmk how your writing goes!! ^_^

[0rionz-belt]

live blog of the episode tonight

* if he pussies out ill be so mad

* ooooo backstory

* LMAO THE MISUNDERSTANDING

* nice cake cutting skills

* oh the teacher's back.

* why is the detective saying this to the teacher. fuck off.

* why is the floor in this school red. its not a childrens hospital

* oh the "we're cool now". he's definitely covering his ass for when he kills her.

* "you can trust me" ive never heard that phrase ONCE where it wasnt bullshit

* shes a runner shes a track star

* DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

* Oh the subtle heart beat in the background music. love that shit.

* GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

* wait what

* hold on how was he tracking. unless the tracker was in the jacket. does junior have that bitch's jacket???

* this isnt about the show but fuck that dude in the commercial for letting his cat roam outside.

* "i got four hundred likes" i hope you get 400 stab wounds.

* "whats jake gonna do?" hes suspected for 2 murders?

* oh? what is she doing?

* OOOOO A SCYTHE!!! hedge trimmers? whatever the fuck that is????

* okay dont do it here. itll be hard to clean the blood and dispose of the body.

* "i want to apologize" no you fucking dont, dicknips.

* "im sorry i hurt your feelings" "creepy af" I Hate You.

* as someone whos been apologized to a LOT by many people, hers was fucking awful.

* chucky's "nod" and "mhm" made me think of yoda for some reason lmao.

* OH IS HE COLLECTING EVIDENCE

* oh??? and this woman thinks you only need privacy if someone is hiding something??? some fucking detective.

* "wHy ArE yOu HeRe" chucky should stab your eyes out. youre clearly not fucking using them.

* again with dumb advertisments. im not ever going to even consider moving to ohio. ive seen it, its shit. stop suggesting it.

* i hate that entire fucking family except for the little girl. its not her fault her parents and sister are fucking dicks.

* i feel like im supposed to feel happy for lexi during that hug? i feel pure malice but idk about everyone else.

* am i the only one who thinks the camera is unfocused slightly.

* "our daughter is not the bully" Die.

* "communicating with teenagers is a challenge" only if you raise them to hate you.

* "if you tell anyone about this" you better fucking tell everyone

* anyways im going to put on my headphones now because i dont care to hear singing.

* i lied. how dare you ruin that song

* LMAO THATS GREAT

* OH SHIT IS HE LEGIT STUCK

* oh theres the knife.

* why am i seeing a ghostbusters commercial. the 2016 version was good, fuck you.

* AND WERE BACK

* shitty dance moves

* oh a silent dance party. nice.

* you just KNOW that one person is listening to Rasputin.

* god hurry up and kill this bitch. she's 14 and already knows how to cheat on partners.

* more memories!!!

* is that a view master? nice.

* im sorry but that breaking sound effect is cliche.

* oh i see whats happening.

* LMAO WRONG ONE.

* ooooo the "charles...run" at the beat drop

* OH THE MUSIC IS COVERING THE NOISE... NICE.

* lets hope no one turns around.

* IS SHE SMOKING A BLUNT???

* red room...hmm wonder whatll happen in here??? murder perhaps???

* why is your bean bag in the middle of the room. shitty interior design.

* GET HER ASS GET HER ASS GET HER ASS YES YESYESYESYES

* OH A FIRE.

* THE WAY SHE REALIZES WHOS KILLING HER. LOVE THAT

* are they really censoring shit? that literally ruined the whole mood.

* also as someone who wears headphones most hours of the day, they absolutely would have heard that shit.

* god, film cameras just dont focus on shit anymore. even the commercials are blurry sometimes.

* oh. this is the first time he had to murder someone, huh.

* "im sorry" stop fucking apologizing, your dad was a dick and so was this bitch.

* WHAT??? HE MURDERED HIS MOM????

* "i helped" little shit.

* chucky you gotta get out. youre fucking flammable too.

* oh its over.

[bluebeetle]

ooo those comic asks let's go 1, 2, 9, 12, 15, 23, 34, 42 sorry that's so much i just want your comic takes

answering this was difficult bc my cat decided she needed to walk all over me and my laptop the moment you sent this

1. How has DC/Marvel/publishing company wronged you, specifically?

oh god in many ways. For dc:

>making talia evil >making cass evil and then ignorable

>making jason suddenly an antihero with no development to go from villain to hero

>letting babs walk again

>the whole mess with wally west after the reboot and the two wallys. also he hasnt talked to pied piper YET ITS BEEN YEARS

>almost everything about the n52 reboot honestly

>countdowns existence but esp the plotpoint where they took my fave minor character pied piper and handcuffed him to trickster and then had trickster be homophobic to him for most of the 52 issues; this is not treated as a bad thing. also trickster has known pied piper for years and was never homophobic before i hate dan didio

for marvel:

>constantly making the comics more like the MCU pls fucking STOP i hat you so much

>trying to make loki evil again. die.

>everything theyve done to wanda. everything. but esp making her not related to magneto again. or the incest thing in ultimates. ugh

2. What character death for the sake of drama was the worst?

dc: hmmmm most of the deaths i can think of i dont mind. i guess most ppls deaths in Heroes in Crisis, esp roy's. that was so dumb ugh. not big on them killing damian but the writing in batman and robin was rly good so it makes up for it. im sure theres someone im forgetting--oh WAIT

bart allens death in the flash it sucked so bad and one of his creators was so upset and died before bart allen was revived. that one definitely that one.

i blocked it from my mind

marvel: WANDA WANDA WANDA WANDA WANDA STOP KILLING ER OFF FOR DRAMA DEAR GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

9. What’s the worst plotline you’ve read?

oh boy. does all star batman and robin count its rly bad ghhgf i also didnt rly get checkmate (2021). also i guess theres a lot of talias bad writing that i went thru for damian ):

for marvel uhhhh i dont read enough marvel so i have nothing to say. maybe when i read house of M well say that one lol. i did read some of civil war in middle school?

12. Are there any comics you’ve read knowing they’re bad and why?

not many. all star batman and robin bc its so bad its funny. parts of rhato for that jason content but ive never finished it and i think rhato vol 2 isnt always bad.

for marvel, nah

15. Tell me about a plotline that could have been interesting if anyone else wrote it.

anything devon grayson does tbh like dealing with dicks stress over murder and guilt or him being romani (Tho him not knowing is dumb). it was so bad and racist ugh. other than that I think the spyral and ric grayson arcs coulda been good if they were like, combined maybe? and shorter. lmao

also the current robin 2021 run tbh... i think the idea of a tournment and damian grappling with guilt could be fun but the writer cares waaaaaay too much about his ocs to give damian real breathing room

speaking of damian: teen titans 2016 coulda been SO fun if they werent so racist and wanting to make damian a bad guy for caring about immigrants and people of colour lol. i rly loved what few good moments he had with wally, emiko, jackson, and the others.

for marvel... mybe trial of magneto coulda worked if the writers cared about magneto and wanda lol. or x-factor 2020 it had some good ideas but was ruined by the writers weirdness about akihiro and david... like just the racism combined with weird views of bi men lol

23. If you could erase one comic book from canon, what would it be?

oh this one is so hard.... either heroes in crisis (wally being a mass murderer) or batgirl 2011--no more abled babs she doesnt exist.

or countdown. i rly fucking hate countdown.

for marvel idk. can i just destroy the mcu instead

oh wait. ultimates avengers. pls i dont want to think about the ultimates universe maximoff twins ever AGAIN

34. Which retcon do you hate the most?

for DC, four come to mind:

>Parallax isn't Hal Jordans fault

so if u dont know hal jordan back in the 90s broke down after his city was destroyed by doomsday and he lost many loved ones. as a result he went full on villain (parallax) and ended up destroying most of the green lantern corps and caused the zero hour event

he then was killed and later came back as the hero spectre, basically being a ghost hero and trying to atone for his actions he did in the lowest point of his life

anyways later on geoff johns got the reins and revived Hal and said it wasn't hal's fult at all, he was just possessed by an evil space bug made of fear, the real Parallax.

aaaand i hate that. I hate taking away Hals role in everything and making him a victim. I dont mind the other retcons Geoff Johns did to GL lore--hell i prefer it because he really fleshed things out and added the other colours and explained the weakness to yellow even!--but I think it all could have been done without stripping Hal of any wrong doings or guilt. Its rly lame.

>Babs can walk again!

ok not rly a retcon bc she was still shot but i hate it i hate it so much die die die die die die die die

>Jason was actually a rly mean, stupid, and bad robin and no one liked him and his death was inevitable

He had his momentts of violence, yes but his anger had a trigger; he wasnt angry all the time, he was a sweet and intelligent kid who loved Bruce a lot and had a rocky relationship with Dick at first but they did eventually get along. He had a few friends, knew the titans, and was well liked by his family.

too many stories stress his violence and impulsiveness and make him out to be a bad person with at least trying to explore why he is that way and sympathsize with him.

not only that but the treating of his death as inevitable or his fault or anything like that frustrates me so fucking much bc the weight of death in the family, of its aftermath and a lonely place of dying, of under the red hood, really hinges on the fact that jasons death was a tragedy, one that shook Bruce like no other. because he lost his child who he loved!!!!!

wait fourth one

>theres two wally wests with the same powers

super lame. shoulda either made the black wally into bart allen with some explaination for the fake name or just kept the black wally and given him white wallys memories and stuff. maybe aged him up idk. it was such a cop out

for marvel. well we all kn ow what its gonna be

>WHY THE FUYCK IS MAGNETO NOT WANDA AND PIETROS DAD ANYMORE? WHAT THE FUCK? IT RUINS SO MANY STORIES AND ITS STUPID AND ITS JUST STUPID MCU BULLSHIT I HATE IT SO MUCH FUCKING UNDO IT

42. What’s a fandom trope you hate?

oh boy.

>Dick and/or Damian get rescued by the mean racists by Bruce and/or Tim and/or Jason. Cass and Duke are mysteriously absent.

>Bruce has all his kids with him! Who's Cassandra? (....who's duke?)

>Jason was manipulated by the big mean Talia into hating his dad. He has never done anything wrong in his life, its all Talia who hates Bruce so much she wants to marry him or something idk i never read a talia comic in my life

>Redhead jason. let it fucking DIE

>tim is the best robin ever and a lil uwu bean and damian and jason are just soooo mean and always wrong esp damian whos 10

>whats a woman

>did you guys know you make Dick hot without making him a '''''slut'''' esp since hes an SA victim.....

>im so tired of jokes about republican wally esp since none of these ppl have ever read his flash run or even know who linda park or hartley rathaway are

>making jack drake way more abusive than he actually is in canon (hes neglectful at times yes) for sad white boy points or making jason a victim of CSA for sad white boy points (also you guys know someone doesnt have to have been assaulted to hate sexual assault right????)

>making tim asian and jason latino. holy racist stereotypes batman

im sure theres WAY more i could do but theyve been blocked out of my mind for now

for marvel tbh i dont deal with the marvel fandom much so!

the most i could say is

>forgetting loki is bi and genderfluid bc they wanna fuck a white cishet boy

i did all of this and realised i only talked about dc and had to go back and add marvel btw jvfdhghfdhgfdh

[bananonbinary]

oh fuck its a deltarune liveblog post!!!

just gonna put it all in one shot so i dont get spoiled while writing

- aaaaaaa the save file said ‘kris’ again and i didnt realize and just clicked through and now im an ASSHOLE :( sorry kris. i gotta save tho, i will definitely get u killed otherwise.

- hm. interesting that you can’t dick around much on the way to the classroom; i’d have to check but i think in chapter one there was always someone else present to railroad you. does this mean kris is exerting more control?

- god i love this light world->dark world animation, VERY saturday morning cartoon

- ooh Lore(tm)

- oh right, im very bad at bullet hell

- oh....the town is named after my savefile....Don’t Like That. feels like i robbed kris again.

- “you could wear whatever you want” “all sorts of keepsakes could be put here” hmmm feeling some Things about kris’ empty room. also the half-finished look of these rooms feels Important.

- SUSIE MY BELOVED

- the town having no music is creepy as hell

- Sure.

- JESUS the werewires are cool

- i am Suspicious about what these fountains are, and if it’s really a good idea to seal them

- god i love these kids

- also hey! kris posed this time!

- i am very into these rhythm challenges

- people keep commenting on kris having zero inflection. “being possessed 99% of the time” is looking more and more likely.

- “always been annoying how much your hair smells like apples” is this...flirting???

- it means tity

- i don’t have tons to say about the plot cause its like...yep thats standard magical quest shit

- god susie and ralsei’s friendship is so good. ill be so happy if susie becomes a healer

- “you do not do crazy things like ‘have opinions.’ or scream when i capture you.” seriously kris is Not Okay

- i only got 5/6 werewires but im pretty sure im past where you can fight them and its pissing me off

-noelle is adorable

- terrified to find out whatever the fuck roulx has been doing this whole time

-oh shit nvm theres the last werewire

- njadkslfnasjdfnajksdl found the annoying dog. why.

- i’m so fucking lost where am i supposed to go

- is gamer’s delight just a mountain dew pie

- oh my god susie’s heal attack

- NOELLE IS ADORABLE

- video game piano tutoriel fucking got me okay

- okay but if we take this at face value, that’s a LOT of characterization for kris. they like bath bombs (or potentially just making shit they find on pinterest), they actually are a knife nerd, they’re thinking about college, and they are a gamer (which i think we already knew a bit). and i think they probably googled magic immediately after chapter one, which is adorable.

- kris keeping their eyes closed for asriel’s room could just be the game continuing to keep the audience in suspense, but i wonder if in-universe it’s also kris’ choice to keep their brother away from the Player 

- beardly is papyrus if papyrus sucked

- if anything permenant happens to lancer im killing everyone in this dark world and then myself

- wow, backstory! what an asshole

- okay i thought that was basically what was wrong with lancer, but why is ralsei fine then???? how did he even GET to this dark world anyway? i am Suspicious.

- wait shouldn’t rouxls be dying too then?

- how fucking long is this game????

- “it’s nice that you’re you” oh god. oh god.

- OH MY FUCKING GOD

-ah. so roulx IS also dying. ralsei what are your secrets?????

- that’s TWICE now that ralsei, and ONLY ralsei, has been able to change our pov. RALSEI WHAT ARE YOUR SECRETS??????

- BABY LEBSIASN

- ooh Lore(tm) part 2

- mmmm im not sure i trust ralsei. again. the fountains seem....weird. why does he want to close all of them except his? i dont think he’s evil, but. hm. i feel like something else is going on here.

- dsfmlkasdmfkal someone’s gonna notice that we keep stealing shit to put in this one random closet

- you know what here at the end of the game i actually really like queen, she’s a very fun character

- time for the reunion tour!!!

- think i will leave the boss rush challenge for later lmao i did just spend 7 hours on this game

- went to the graveyard. hmmmmmmmmmmm

- okay what the FUCK is up with that door toby. and why arent there any other humans here?? really probably fake game theory: this is the reverse of undertale, and all the humans are locked up underground.

- man we’re gonna fail this group project

- ???????? why can’t kris play piano now?

- oh shit is that shyren’s sister? the one that became an amalgamate in undertale?

- god i missed sans

- JESUS asgore you gotta get your shit together

- don’t you fucking play the “Home” motif at me again i WILL cry

- susie’s “i have to spend time with my friend’s parent” walk is incredible

- aaa kris i’m sorry i keep doing this to you!!! i’m so worried about them where did they go? the thump out the window sounded like it hurt :(

- .....huh. i er, huh.

- what the fuck is this credits music

jesus christ that was 8 straight hours, i might have made mistakes

[soulwillower]

rude boy III • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader smut)

part 3 of this series!

requested: this has been requested a lot and i dont have enough space to put them all! sorry it took so long!!

warnings: swearing, fluff, smut, bit of angst, a tiny bit of rough sex, but then soft sex, theres lots of crying in this lol but its not v angsty, oral (fem receiving), dirty talk, some praise kink, and richie has a hair pulling kink, kinda vanilla tho, unprotected sex, unedited

[losers + reader are aged up 18+ in this.]

5.6k words, oh man sorry

also: i was listening to peach by kevin abstract as i write the car scene :’)

♡

it was one of those days that just didn't stop. one thing after another, from your car breaking down last night to customers calling you sloppy and leaving no tip. the sun rays that shine on your back are warm and cast a long shadow out onto the field in front of you and the breeze makes you sniffle a bit. you'd dropped a whole tray of food on yourself right at the end of your shift, and syrup is drying your hair and dripping down your uniform - you feel like shit.

tears leak slowly from your eyes, feeling sorry for yourself and wondering what you're going to do for the night - you could probably call one of your neighbors, or maybe mike, but you'd left your keys inside your house and nobody was home, so you're stranded without access to your house or a car.

you laugh a bit, in disbelief at the day you've had.

"the fuck are you doing down there, y/l/n? thought you got off thirty minutes ago." a nasally, judging, and pretentious voice calls from a few feet behind you, and you try not to outwardly groan as you quickly wipe away your tears. you sigh in defeat, knowing the tears probably won't dry up in time, and you turn to look at richie.

he's standing with his hoodie in his arm, bathed in golden light and barely more than a silhouette from where he's standing against the dying sun. you really hate how ethereal he looks.

"richie, can you lay off for tonight?" you spit, turning around quickly so he doesn't see your puffy face. "just leave, i don't want to see you right now."

and it's only half true. because recently, you'd actually found solace in richie's company. yes, you still argued, but the fire that surrounds your words are now driven by something more akin to fondness rather than the original animosity. it was freaking you out, but when richie would leave a milkshake with extra whipped cream on the counter for you when he clocked out, or when he stuck his tongue out at rude customers when they turned away, and even when he flirted with you just to be a dick, something tickled inside your chest and you even found yourself flirting back with him. and enjoying it immensely. it was sick.

you thought he'd left you alone but much to your dismay, the familiar beaten red converse high tops smack next to you on the pavement as richie folds his lanky body in two, sitting down only a few inches from you on the sidewalk facing the field.

"what's on your mind?" he says after a few awkward moments and you spare a glance at him. his eyes are taking in your red and puffy face, but his features are concerned. you feel that chest tickle again.

"lots of things. what are you doing?" you say suspiciously, hugging yourself and wiping away stray tears as they fall. you wish you could get up and leave, but it's too far to walk home and it's about to get dark. richie shrugs, playing with his fingers as they sit atop his legs, his knee bouncing incessantly. it irritates you, but you don’t say anything 

"where's your car, y/l/n? drive it into a lake or something?" he says instead, completely disregarding your previous question and making you roll your eyes. "shut up, richie. god. i just- my car broke down and-" and your voice breaks and you shove your face into your hands to hide your embarrassment from the boy next to you.

"woah, it's just a car. damn, what's wrong?" richie says and you shake your head as its buried between your hands. "i've j- i have a lot on my mind. can you leave?" you say, pulling your face from your hands to look at him, knowing you look like a mess. it's not like he hasn't seen you cry before, but that was much different than now and you're even more embarrassed that he's seeing you so vulnerable.

"not to be rude, but i'm not going to leave, toots. we don't have to talk, but i really don't think you should be alone." he shrugs, saying it casually as if it wasn't completely out of character for the two of you to hang out. you try not to consider it too much, instead stretching your legs out and gesturing to your skirt. "i spilled earlier." you say weakly but with a lilt of humor in your voice. richie chuckles, nudging your shoulder with his own. "you can shower and wash it when you get home, though."

you sigh, shaking your head as tears fill your vision again. you laugh wetly, "i forgot my keys at home. nobody's there, so i'm..." you sigh, "i'm locked out." the tips of your shoes drag on top of the cement as you laugh regretfully, staring up at the field in front of you and at the groundhog that runs across the ground in the afternoon air.

richie doesn't even laugh like he should have.

"let me take you for a ride." richie says after a few moments, making you turn and look at him. he's looking at you earnestly, head tilted slightly as his curls blow in the breeze. the golden light hits his face in a way that sharpens the angles of his cheekbones and makes him look much more serious than usual. his eyes glow in that same light and he seems so genuine for the first time in his rotten existence that you can't help but whisper, "okay."

it's quiet for a few moments and neither of you move so much as a muscle. the breeze is calm and for some reason, you're much less on edge than you think you should be. richie rises next to you, brushing off his black pants with his palms.

"let's go, sugar." he mutters quietly, holding his hand out for you. you stare at it for two seconds before lightly grabbing it, letting him pull you up quickly.  "where are we going to go?" you ask with a sniffle, your tears finally ceasing. richie drops your hand and you follow him to a beat up chevy truck where he opens the door for you, muttering about how its 'broken' and that you'd never be able to open it yourself. it makes you roll your eyes, but you say nothing in response.

"we're going to get you that shower." he finally says as he starts the car. you look at him disdainfully, but deep down you're just relieved that you're going to be able to get clean as soon as you can.

your forehead rests against your outstretched arm laying out of the open window as your hair whips around you, richie coursing down the road into town quickly. a song you don't recognize plays on his stereo and he sings to it, not at all quietly but not too loud to be entirely obnoxious and you're shocked to hear that he's got a pretty nice voice.

it seems to calm you down, so you turn to watch him through the corner of your eyes, admiring the moment because it's going to be over too soon, and you don't want to go back to how it used to be with richie now that you have these weird feelings. 

the fighting constantly is exhausting; the sex is great, but couldn't you and richie still have that without wanting to murder each other? whatever happens, you can't show richie how you feel - it'll change everything and he'll never let you live it down. you think it might crush you.

but you can't help it that you definitely don't want to murder him currently. you watch him with a small grin.

he's driving with one hand on the wheel, eyes on the road and an easy look on his face as he sings the chorus of the song, somehow giving you butterflies. it feels almost too peaceful, absolutely nothing like the few times you've spent alone time with richie, and you're sure that he could never truly feel a shred of attraction beyond primally physical with someone like you. the thought makes you want to cry all over again -  you bite your lip, wondering if your feelings are brought on by your shitty day, by the mood of the moment, or something else entirely.  

maybe it's just him.

he turns to glance at you, as if sensing your eyes on him and the small grin he sends you as he harmonizes the last line of the song makes you blush, turning your eyes back to the scenery zipping by. you barely hear richie's soft chuckle.

when you pull up to the house, you're not very surprised to see it's massive; but when you follow him inside silently you're shocked at the warmth you feel. a woman sits with a mug and a book at the dining table. she looks like richie, but her hair is straight and in a low bun. she's beautiful.

"hi, mom." richie says, pressing a kiss to her forehead. she smiles at him, "hi, honey. how was work?" he mumbles a response and then you make eye contact with her. she smiles even warmer. "oh hi, i'm maggie." she introduces herself. you smile and wave a bit, "y/n. it's nice to meet you."

richie looks embarrassed, "she's my coworker." he explains, filling up a cup with water. maggie nods, "oh, right! i've heard a lot about you, y/n."

richie looks at the floor with red cheeks and you smile at her, nodding awkwardly as your cheeks also turn red. 

"we're going upstairs, now." he says and you feel like it's more an order to you than a statement to his mom, so you wave at maggie as he drags you towards the stairs, maggie chuckling as you leave the room.

you step into richie's room and it smells overwhelmingly like him, so much so that you feel the weird tickle in your chest and you know if you spend too much time in here it won't be good for you. 

your eyes flicker throughout the room - landing on pictures of him with maggie and who you assume must be his father, of him and his friends, and of random postcards and art prints. paintings of birds as well as other style sketches of mike and several other kids - including richie himself - hang proudly on display, and you’re fairly certain they’re not painted by him, but it warms your heart that he has them. you wonder who did them. 

there's posters, records, and a skateboard in the corner. his floor is slightly messy, an empty energy drink on the windowsill that you see has a crushed cigarette on it. you kind of fall in love with it every second longer you stay in it and you're not sure why - it's just so... richie.

"um, just to clarify, i didn't- i didn't, like, tell my mom about..." he says suddenly, and you smirk at him as he trails off while scratching his neck. you laugh, "no shit, richie. that would be gross." you say. he grins with a shrug, quickly back to his usual self. "you didn't seem to think it was very gross when we actually did it. both times."

you shove him, face red in embarrassment. "can i use your shower, douchebag?" you ask and he laughs as he walks out of his room and leads you to his bathroom. "i fucking hate you." you mutter as you follow, glaring at his shoulders as they shake silently with laughter. after he gives you a towel and some clothes to change into, he tells you he'll be in his room and you lock the door behind him.

you shower quickly, using what you assume is richie's shampoo and smiling like a lovesick idiot when you recognize the scent of strawberry. you're still grinning like that as you walk back into richie's room, hair dripping and your body slightly drowning in his clothes. "hey sexy." he says in a teasing tone, prompting you to flip him off, smile still on your lips. he's sitting on his deckchair, spinning slowly from his feet as he watches you sit on his bed. "um. thank you a lot, richie. i'm not sure what i would have done if you hadn't let me come over." you say sheepishly, looking from side to side. "where's my stuff?"

he shrugs, "put them in the wash. they'll be done soon, we can wait until someone gets back at your house. or- you know, if you need a place to stay, i can take the couch tonight."

your heart flutters, your mind barely even taking the time to be shocked anymore at how he is away from work. you'd just assumed...

and for some reason, the realization of everything that's happened makes your eyes watery again. "-hey, y/n, it's okay." he says softly as you close your eyes and shake your head, "no, no i know, it's fine, i'm just being a child." you mutter, rubbing your eyes furiously. richie laughs, "i've seen you act like a child before, sugar. this isn't one of those times."

this makes you roll your eyes and suddenly you feel better. you laugh almost bitterly, "how do you do that?" you ask quietly, more to yourself than richie. he looks at you curiously, crossing the threshold of his room to sit beside you. "do what?" he asks. you shrug one shoulder, "dunno. you're actually good at making me feel better. i almost hate you for it."

"nah, i know you could never hate me." he jests, but again you know there's a ring of truth to it. "as much as i try." you say almost too honestly, and richie gives you an odd look.

"want to hear something kind of lame?" richie asks, already looking embarrassed. you shift a bit to look at him, ignoring the feeling of him that you get from everything around you - the bed sheets under you, the air moving through the room, the soft light of the moon, the clothes you're wearing, the look he's giving you.

"everything you say is lame." you say weakly, but you don't add on, waiting for him to tell you. he shakes his head with a small laugh. "i get excited for your shifts now." richie admits, his cheeks glowing red, "like, actually get excited to see your stupid face when you clock in."

the honesty of it makes you smile immediately, heartbeat quickening. you're shocked, truly. "it's awful, sugar. you're really throwing a wrench in my playboy status." he adds, making you roll your eyes.

"what playboy status?" you ask, biting your lip to conceal a grin at his words - does he feel the same as you?

he shrugs with a limp hand wave, "you wouldn't understand. doesn't matter, not sure if i'm going to be much of a playboy anymore." he says, voice teasing but a strand of truth laced tightly in between his words. it makes you grin down at the sweats on your body. his sweats. they're soft and cozy against your body, and the shirt smells overwhelmingly like him.

"what, you got someone in mind?" you say, half teasing but yearning to hear your name fall from his lips because you don't know if you could say it yourself. he looks at you, "depends on what she wants from me. she’s a pain in the ass, though, don’t know her very well yet."

oh. you nod, realizing that he actually was talking about someone else and feeling bitter. "well. you're an unbearable asshole, so anybody would be a fool to want you." you say, sounding a lot less joking than you intended. 

his grin falters and a look that is slightly comparable to hurt flashes across his face. he scoffs, shaking his head. 

"doesn't mean much coming from you, does it?" he says with an eye roll and your eyes widen. so much for thinking he liked you. "i was joking." you say, rolling your eyes. he crosses his arms, "if i'm as bad as you think, then that means you're a real sleaze. i mean, you practically beg for my cock every time we're alone, so what does that say about you?" he spits, clenching his jaw and looking away. 

your eyes widen, heart breaking at his words. you really dug yourself a hole this time. "why do you have to be so  fucking insolent all the time? i swear to god, i do not understand you." you say, standing up and wishing for your tears to not reappear.

this day could not get any fucking worse, could it? through your frustration, you start to make your way towards his door, not wanting a single thing that reminds you of him. "you don't understand me? god, y/n, that's so fucking hypocritical. you're so stuck up that when i was trying to do a nice thing because i fucking care ab- what are you doing?!" he hisses, eyes wide as you shove the sweats off your legs, leaving you in your underwear and his shirt.

you throw a glare at him through glossy eyes, face red with embarrassment and mostly anger, "i'm leaving. i don't need your shit, i need to go."

"and where the fuck do you think you're going?" richie says, following you as you walk towards his door.

"anywhere is better than being here with you." you spit, but his arm reaches to slam shut the door. you whirl around to find him much closer than you'd expected, his eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched in anger. tension fills the room.

"you're just gonna walk down there and dig through my fucking laundry, half naked, in front of my parents?" richie sneers. "no. you're not going anywhere, y/n. i don't care how much of a brat you are, or how much you hate me." he snaps, his breath hitting your face.

something about his words and his tone and most likely the situation you're in makes you swallow and clench your thighs together. damn richie and his hotness, and damn you and your stupid fucking feelings. "fine." you mutter, standing your ground still.

you can almost feel the two of you both fighting against it, but suddenly your lips are on his and hes spinning you, tossing you onto the bed. 

"you're so fucking controlling. i hate it." you mutter as he crashes against you on his mattress. "really, princess? because you seem to like it when my cock is inside you." he spits back, cheeks red with anger. you gulp back a sneer, feeling yourself get wetter by the minute as he thrusts against you. 

"whatever, richie. just fuck me if you're going to fuck me, or i can leave." you say and he growls, looking pissed. he ruts against you and he's hard already. you'd make fun, but you can feel yourself slick through your underwear and his fingers are already pulling off your panties, palming himself as he kisses you harshly. 

"then be fucking good and shut up." he mutters, making you think back to the first time you hooked up. there's a fire between you two as he pulls himself out of his jeans, pumping a few times before running his tip up and down your slit, teasing you. you let out a strangled whimper, trying your hardest not to give in and show him any emotion.

and then he's pushing into you roughly, just as you remember it, and this time you wonder if he can taste your dried tears on your lips as he fucks into you hard. 

you clutch him, letting out moans and stuttering breaths as he moves his hips but then he's pulling you closer to his chest, fingers gripping the material of his shirt and suddenly you can smell him.

you smell him everywhere, all around you and it becomes overbearing and overwhelming as you realize that you can't just hide your feelings for richie anymore, especially not with the way he's holding you against him. it seems way too intimate to be just casual, and you feel the stinging behind your eyes at the realization.

 you let in a gasp as it hits you, tears for the fourth time today streaming down your cheeks. his face is buried in your neck as he fucks into you so you hold your breath, hoping you'll stop crying quicker than he'll notice.

he hits a spot inside you that makes you moan and a sob escapes with it, making richie instantly perk up, eyes wide as he sees your face.

"why are you crying?" he asks, this time with no sneer, obviously able to read that your tears are from a very raw emotion. he stills himself but stays inside you, elbows stilting him up above you as his fluffy curls frame his face.

you shake your head, your chest shaking with tremors. "keep going." you mutter, trying to rock your hips against his as you squeeze your eyes shut, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. at least you won't have to look at him. "richie, keep going."

"no, y/n, what - am i hurting you?" he asks, and he sounds so soft and nervous, a complete 180 from just a few minutes ago. he starts to pull out and you grab him, trying to make him stay, but he pulls all the way out and mutters, "baby, what's going on?"

and you let out another sob at that, not able to express how heartbreaking it is for him to call you that, for him to be so soft when you know all he wants is just a good fuck.

"please talk to me sugar, i'm gettin real nervous." he mutters and that's enough for you to look up at him through tear blurred eyes. he's gnawing on his kiss-bruised lip, looking like he might cry himself. 

you shake your head, sitting up slightly on your elbows and rubbing at your eyes as his shirt on your frame falls over your bare thighs.

"i'm sorry, i'm just - i'm just scared." you mutter, hands shaking. richie's looking at you with wide eyes, propped on his elbow above you. "scared of what?" he asks and you let out a quick, tearful and defeated sigh. "i don't want to make you hate me more. i just - i'm scared because i think i h- i think i have feelings for you. and i’m scared." you mumble it and you watch as his face contorts.

you feel sick for one moment when he looks stoic, and you think he may just do the job for you and kick you out.

but then he smiles a genuine, beautiful smile and you're once again reminded of his unique and beautiful features and you think of how stupid you've been not to see what's been in front of you all this time. the thought makes tears fall from your eyes.

"y/n, doll, i don't... i don’t think you have to be afraid." he says with a shake of his head, sounding slightly nervous himself. you look at him, your heart skipping as he looks back at you, the most serious he's ever been.

"what?" you mutter with wide eyes, trying not to get too excited. he shakes his head, looking just as nervous as you felt, his own eyes welled with unshed tears. 

"-i think about you all the time. i don't know why, i can't understand my attraction to you, but it's there. you've got me. and it sucks, because you're insufferable." he admits.

you're so relieved you could fly. something snaps in your chest and you laugh lightly, hand falling onto his cheek to rub his jaw. "what makes you so high up on your horse? you're awful. and how do you think i feel, thinking about you all the time? its disgusting, rich." you say through a watery smile. he returns that same smile and he chuckles, almost as if in disbelief.

he says nothing, instead just kisses you, which you return happily. he slips his tongue against your lip and you feel that the fire is still there - and as you part your lips and he kisses you harder, tongue slipping through your lips, you groan. 

he pulls away and kisses a trail down to your neck, his hips now rocking slowly into you and making you moan lightly. "you're so fucking beautiful." he mutters into your neck and butterflies flutter in your stomach. you're throbbing in need as he moves against you but he pulls back to smile at you softly. "do you trust me?" he asks with a grin. you lift a playful brow at him, "i know i shouldn't, but i kind of do."

and with that, he leans down so that he can kiss down your chest and rubbing his hands over your bare legs. you watch him until you realize his intention and your stomach swirls with butterflies. "richie, your parents are downstairs. we don't have time" you whisper bashfully, biting back a moan as he lifts up your shirt and kisses your bare stomach.

"they won't bother us." he says dismissively and you're about to argue but he's slowly placing a thumb against your neglected clit and rubbing gently. it feels incredible and you moan right into the shell of his ear as he slowly moves his finger pad. 

he leans back with a grin and you mutter, "okay, rich. if you say so." and then you slip your shirt off and he sits back, pulling his own shirt off. "let me see all of you, baby. i finally get you all to myself." he mutters, rubbing your bare hips. his words send a different kind of shiver down your spine and you smile bashfully, unclipping your bra so that you're splayed out fully naked beneath him.

"shit, doll." he mutters, eyes raking over your heaving chest and down the swell of your stomach and hips and to your legs, his fingers softly trailing after his eyes. "how could i ever hate you?"

you sock him lightly on the shoulder and he laughs quietly, shaking his head. his curls flop on his forehead and you feel that tickle in your chest again so you pull him down to your lips, falling back onto his mattress.

he wastes no time, kissing down your stomach and looking up to you, pulling your legs and draping them over his shoulders. "you want me to taste you, baby?" he asks, mischievous glint in his eyes. you let out a stuttering breath, too aroused to roll your eyes. "please, richie." you whisper, running your fingers through his curls. 

he watches you as his tongue sticks out, licking a stripe up your pussy before swirling on your clit, making you gasp in pleasure.

the feeling is sharp and pleasant as he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks lightly, tongue running over your folds. his hands move to hold your thighs as he delves in, your moans quieting as the pleasure increases because you're worried his parents might hear. 

his mouth moves on you expertly, his tongue sliding to fuck up into you and making your hips buck, his nose brushing against your clit. you tug on his hair and he groans, sending vibrations through your body that make your toes curl.

its soft as he rubs your stomach, his tongue working you so well that within a few minutes, you know you’re already about to cum. 

reaching to cup your face, his thumb presses against your lips and you kiss it softly, making smirk in between your thighs as he kitten licks your clit and draws a gasp from your lips. "rich, oh my god, i'm so close." you sigh out, overwhelmed by how good you feel, by the pleasure coursing through you and the affection for the boy you're with.

he just holds you tighter to his face, lapping your juices up and flicking against your clit before sucking, your thighs tightening. "richie, please, i'm gonna-" and but yourself off with a high moan, hand covering your mouth as you hit your high. 

you cum on his tongue, legs shaking as you ride out the first orgasm you'd ever gotten from anyone's mouth and your fingers comb through his hair. "rich, fuck." you mutter in bliss as you come down from your high, full of affection and need.

"you liked that, huh sugar?" he says with a grin as he rises back up to kiss you. you roll your eyes with a small smile, "shut up." you say lightly. 

you're still sensitive as you pull him to line up at your entrance. he presses a soft kiss to your lips and you blush, tasting yourself on him. "you sure, baby?" he mutters, and you nod. "yes, richie. please."

and he finally pushes himself in again, this time easing in slowly and kissing you sweetly. your hands play with his curls as he fills you and you moan when he's finally buried to the hilt, still sensitive enough that you clench tightly around him. his hand snakes to pin yours above your head and he holds onto it, keeping you in his hand as he starts to pump into you. 

this time it's much slower and with much more intention as he thrusts into you, the first minute moving in very shallow thrusts until you start moving your hips against his in need.

he picks up the pace then and it makes you grasp his shoulder as he thrusts into you, hitting a new angle that makes you let out whimpers every few moments. the feeling of richie stretching you out slowly and hitting a place deep inside you that you didn't realize you needed makes you smile into his kiss. 

“look at you, sugar. fuck, you’re so pretty taking my cock like this. god.” he mutters, moaning as he fucks you. 

his hand is still holding yours. "you're so amazing." he mutters into your ear, "taking me so well, baby. so good for me." he says, kissing your ear and you whine, dragging your nails down his back in pleasure.

"all mine. i get you all for myself, huh?" he says as he thrusts into you at a passionately slow pace, your hands holding on to his shoulders as you hook your ankles around his hips. "yes, fuck, rich. all yours," you mumble, feeling your second orgasm coming on and chasing it as much as you can.

"please, you feel so good." you beg, unsure what you're asking for but knowing that richie will satisfy it. his hands fall to your hips, "i'm close, sugar." he mutters and he thrusts a bit harder, hitting a spot inside you that has you keening loudly. he chuckles, kissing you and muttering, "shh, sweetheart, we have to be quiet."

you nod, eyes closing as he thrusts into you, one hand slipping up to roll your nipple softly and making you moan his name. as he sucks a hickey on to your neck, his thrusts begin to get sloppy and you clench around him. “god, you were made for me, baby. fuck, takin’ it so well.” 

you hit your second orgasm and you softly bite into richie's shoulder, his own moan at the feeling of you clenching around him making you turn red. you feel his hips stutter and he groans as he releases inside of you. 

waves of pleasure course through your body and you shake with exhaustion, a blissful feeling coming over you as richie rides out both of your highs, chest pressed against yours and breathing your name into your neck.

he pulls out of you slowly, rubbing your stomach as he kisses you and rolls onto his mattress next to you. you stare at each other and you know you must look like a mess - your hair is still slightly damp from the water, your freshly washed skin is now sticky with sweat, and your face has tear tracks on it, and yet richie mumbles, "you're fuckin' stunning, y/l/n. it’s insane."

you turn red and chuckle, "you're pretty fucking incredible yourself, tozier." he smiles at you, pulling you closer. his fingers dance along your skin and you squirm as he mutters, "no, that's all you, toots."

his fingers, you now realize, are deliberately tickling you, and you let out a few winded laughs, swatting at his hands as the sensation of him on your skin has you giggling.

"y/n! why are you laughing so much?” he asks, but he's releasing little laughs himself, his breath hitting your skin. you can't help the screams of laughter, knowing his parents downstairs can hear you.

"stop, richie, st-stop!" you mutter as his long fingers tickle your sides. "i'm not doing anything!" he mutters through a chuckle. his eyes are soft as he stops his motions and just stares at you, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

he sighs, looking happy, "god, please be mine. i think i'll die if i can't do this with you forever."

your heart swells at the words and you blush, your hands falling onto his cheeks. "of course i will, rich." you mumble, kissing him soundly. his arms encircle your waist and he pulls you towards him, kissing you back lovingly as he pinches your ass cheek lightly. you pull back with a small giggle, "rich!"

he shrugs with a smug smirk and you wack his arm lightly, "you're a real rude boy, you know." you tease, and he shrugs, "you seem to like it." with that, he kisses you softly.

and yeah, you definitely do.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: The Trickening!

Halloween Havoc continues! Louie’s greed and lack of concern for his brother’s feelings or well thought out schedule leads them to a real life haunted house with vampire clowns, dummies, a scary well lady and a gelatinous cube. Because there’s’es always room for gelatinous cube. Meanwhile Della wants to use Launchpad’s dangerous misconceptions about halloween to traumatize children for funzies and Donald had a problem with that for some reason. Also Scrooge is kind of an asshole on Halloween it turns out. No one is suprised. Ghosts, goblins, and full review with spoilers under the cut. 

Happy halloween month everybody! Halloween Havoc, aka my spate of halloween reviews continues as I roll into my first actual halloween episode review of the season! Yeah weird but so far we’ve covered demons getting exorcisims, little girls thinking they can raise the dead, and a horrifying plauge guided by the human incarnation of all that is evil, but not the actual holliday itself. Weird ain’t it? Well that changes with this so as always pitter patter. 

It’s HALLOWEEN here in duckberg, and the mansion kids are planning Trick or Treating. Natural given Huey’s OCD, he has everything planned out a and naturally the kids all have unique and adorable costumes. Huey is gizmoduck, though with a GK instead of  GD, a nice nod to “New Gizmokids on the BLock’ From the original series, an episode I haven’t seen but have heard of so theres that. It’s also because he likely wants to be Fenton’s kid sidekick which.. yeah please do that show. It’d be so fucking adorable. Plus Huey needs to be happy for once without having to go through a gauntlet of misery first. Let my boy be happy. +

Anyways Dewey’s is rather disapointing as it’s a “pirate on vacation” which while hilarious and very dewey, is kind of an anti-climax after months of speculation. Webby is some kind of ancient demon king as apparently in the duckverse the origins of halloween are based on appeasing various monsters, and this is so she can hide from them effectively. And Louie.. is Huey. Which means putting on Huey’s hat and a terribly insulting impression of him. 

Meanwhile Donald and Della are an angel and a devil, with, which I didn’t realize until a tumblr post, Della’s costume being the one one of the boys wore in the classic disney trick or treat short. So that’s a nice nod. Donald wants to nicely give out candy while Della wants to terrify the children. Both end up disapointed as Scrooge instead boots everyone from the house and locks the mansion gates, as he doesn’t like giving out handouts which.. yeah that tracks. 

As it turns out Scrooge also has his own plans.. which are gloriously ludicrous, sounding like something Glomgold would do: He’s going to go trick or treating himself, as when he was a boy, this was the one time of year a poor lad like him could get treats and he worked his tail off to do so and wants to prove he’s still got it. And as we see later SOMEHOW he still gets candy. It’s like if THIS was actually sucessful. 

I would genuinely not be suprised if Scrooge too hadn’t tried to get an oil well from an elementary school this way. As for leaving candy out he leaves out an empty take one bowl which is as clever as it is douchey. So in other words Scrooge in a nutshell. So with handing out treats and scares at the house a non-option, Della and Donald go to see what Launchpad’s doing since Beakly.. is.. I have no fucking idea. NO I really don’t, she shows up for the ending, but before that? If they mentioned where she was I clearly missed it because she’s just.. missing for most of the episode and given every other member of the main cast is accounted for this episode, it’s VERY noticable. Give her more to do dangit!

So yeah we get our two plots, which i’ll cover seperately, then cover the ending where they dovetail together. Kay? Kay. 

The Kid’s Plot centers around Huey and Louie.. specifically Louie wanting to go to a real life haunted house while Huey, as mentinoed has heavily established plans for their night. As for why Louie would go into danger, well as usual for when he does that theirs something in it for him: Rumor has it no kid has ever made it out with their candy.. thus leaving decades worth of candy just waiting to be nabbed and thus never having to trick or treat again. One big score for a payoff.. which didn’t make a lot of sense on first thought and my best guest is whatever preservative Gyro used for Oxy Chew, since it was still edible decades later, was probably spread to other candies since there’s no way in hell Scrooge would pass up a zillion dollar invention like that. Either way works.  Huey is outvoted as Dewey naturally wants the excitment and Webby wants to see if her demon costume works on actual demons. However things quicklky go wrong as they ecoounter a dewey dummy and a killer dummy, as well as a monster clown and a gelatonous cube, which yes. I may not play DnD but I love these things. 

The kids escape the house by accident while tryign to escape and Louie, still being a dick about things, finds out Huey DID know abotu the stash btu avoided it and Louie lays into Huey.. a bit much honestly, feeling he was agaisnt it purely because it wasn’t on schedule.. when you know, Louie could’ve asked to put it on schedule or actually given a damn about this, especially since Huey’s planned their trick or treats EVERY YEAR, so he’s had a full year to ask for this insane idea, or even the short time he’s known about it if shorter. Sure huey might of sputtered a bit, but Louie knows his other siblings, Webby and Dewey could convince him to loosen up and include the house. Louie’s just being kind fo a selfish dick here.. however i’ts not so overwhelming as to overpower the episode, as he has been before and while he should know better about risking his family’s lives after “Timephoon!” it is in character for him to protiize a big score like this over other people’s feelings and it’s not even the first time this season he’s done that. So fair enough. 

But we soon get the second best reveal of the episode: As the kids are backed into a corner by monsters.. they grumble theres no candy and it turns out the monsters.. ARE REAL.. but their traditional monsters like frankenstein, dracula, and the bride of frankenstein, just dressed up like this to scare kids. As it turns out the WHOLE THING is an elaborate yearly scooby doo hoax to get kids candy, with the brilliant twist it’s done by actual monsters> As the vampire points out they can’t exactly shop during the day.. or he can’t at least, so this is how they get candy for the year.. at tribute if you will. Also the Gelationous Cube gets a nice hat as you see above. It’s a REALLY clever twist and I absolutely love it. I DID NOT see it coming and even with some spoiler screenshots I thankfully did not have it spoiled for me. REALLY good stuff. 

As for why Huey’s been so obessed with his planning.. it’s actually really clever and really good character stuff: Huey simply got really into it because back when they were with donald this WAS their adventure for the year: the one time he let them cut loose and have fun, and he got a real kick out of it.. and Louie getting candy for life kind of destroys that. And that’s why Louie still works here.. because he instnatly realizes from this that was the problem and apologizes in his own way. It’s a nice bit of character from both: We’ve rarely had their pre-mansion lives factor in and it’s nice to see it for a change, and it’s nice to see Louie isn’t all dick, just like 20% dick. Unforutnately having no candy dosen’t appease the monsters who are pissed and descend on the kids.. until.. well for the until we have to back up a bit.  So onto the adult plot we go! Della and Donald go to Launchpad whose dressed in a jason mask and ash williams/jason coveralls, weilding a power sander and having barricaded his place. After he scares some children, a bit too much, and Della and Donald are reallyd amn confused, he explains.. and we get the best reveal of the episode.. which given the above is saying something but it’s clear like the “blath” gag in “Astro BOYD” and the non-anthro ducks gag last week, this is one of those things Frank has been keeping under his hat all series.  So as a boy Launchpad crashed his tryke into the mansion, ran into the monsters after reading off a candy wrapper.. and now assumes he unleashed a horde of monsters onto the world every halloween.. and tha’ts what he assumes the trick or treaters are. I just .. dont’ have a lto of words. This is pure comedy gold and easily the best gag of the episode and oen fo the best of the series. It’s clever, fresh, and really fits the character. Naturally Della wants to exploit this to terrify children ebcause she has underlying issues to adress while Donald tries to stop her. Thankfully before Della can get launchpad to scar children for life, Scrooge shows up and fights launchpad.. it’s part of why I also find scrooge’s dickery acceptable as launchpad beats the shit out of him.. it’s still an even fight, as not to suspend disbelief, but Scrooge still looses. I mean he gets out of being trapped in his candy bag easily because scrooge btu still, props to launchpad. So Launchpad decides to go face his fears and Donald and Della decide to stop him before he doesd a muder on a child.  Which leads to an AMAZING climax as Launchpad scooby doo chases the scared monsters around as they have no idea what the fuck’s going on and hte monsters end up really enjoying his scar eof htem and bowing to the master. It’s a good way to end it. After Della explains what’s going on, Louie and Huey decide to explain halloween to Launchpad by taking him to the once house he hasn’t been: the Manor. Scrogoe has finally opened it up, with a line of kids no less, the monsters bond with some kids in line. As for why.. as Webby sadly figures out Scrooge is charging admission, thakns to dewey who thought an all night candy store was a good idea which.. yeah it is. So everyone gets a happye ending and the monsters hang a photo of hte night up in the mansion. A really sweet ending, pun uintended but eh it’s welcome. 

Final Thoughts.  Easily one fo the series best. While the characters are a bit exagerated in places, i.e. della, launchpad , scrooge and louie, it works for the plot well enough and the jokes well enough to make it okay. My only real complaint is a lack of even a cameo from Lena and Violet, as it feels weird to not even have htem in the ending, much less trick or treating with their friends. It just feels odd and could’ve used a throaway line. I get WHY not , as Lena even pre-blue would’ve destoryed the tension with the monsters, but it still feeels really weird to not have them. But it’s a minor quibble in an otherwise REALLY funny and creative episode and a fun halloween treat to revist every year from now on. Really good work.  That does it for this week. For more halloween treats, follow this blog throughout october. So far i’ve done reviews of Demonicsim from Star Vs The Forces of Evil for Tomtober, Croaked, the Casagrandes day of the dead Special and the first of Marvel’s mini-series adapting Stephen’ King’s epic novel The Stand. And until next monday, or sooner if you decide to check any of that out, happy halloween!

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

       youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

        do i not already?

        well yes         but youre gonna love me EVEN more

        what have you done

        well i happened to stop by the club last night

        oh god what did you do

        wow is that how little you trust me

        can you blame me

        suppose not         ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

        surprise surprise

        do you want the good news or not???

        fine fine sorry

        AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie         and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

        first of all fuck you for calling him that         second of all wtf is onlyfans

        oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

        ......         care to grace me with your knowledge?

        basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see         its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes         MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

        but i have to pay?

        well weve all gotta make a living

        i can basically see him naked for free

        but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed         well you will but nobody will know at least         so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

        fine

        where are your manners richard??

        can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

        alright calm down         let me know if its worth while i might have a look

        idk if im even gonna look at it         paying for porn is a little dated

        treat yourself ringo         id offer to pay but im broke

        if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

        well SOMEONE had to go

        they really didnt

        im supporting my local economy

        i dont think thats how that works

        sure it is         anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

        howd the wank go??

        john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

        youre right sorry         so how did it go???

        if you must know         i havent had a wank         i havent even paid for entry

        now whos the one being inappropriate??

        ha ha

        why havent you???

        feels weird

        oh i see         youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

        you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

        hey now watch yourself         ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

        go ahead

        and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting         ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

        every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

        im not joking

        neither am i         you wank A LOT

        ringooooo just buy it i swear to god         if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

        on top of the money you already owe me?

        have you always been such a capitalist

        youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

        fine         spikes cock         now are you convinced???

        maybe

        naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month         convinced??

        fine fine         if itll shut you up

        im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

        i hate you

        now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right'         anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at         even i wont stand in the way of a good wank         so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

        im older than you

        DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

        sooo how did the wank go

         who knows          but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

         well before you do that i have even more good news 

         can it not wait?

         NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

         well arent you considerate          and unnecessarily graphic

         thats me          anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

         im still waiting for the good news

         well if youd let me FINISH          next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go          youll never guess what it is

         what is it?

         guess

         you just said ill never guess

         youre no fun

         WHAT IS IT

         alright alright keep your hair on          its a crossdressing event          high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

         im still waiting for the good news

         OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

[rainesims]

OC Quiz ! :3

Name: Madison Lothario -- was Dent Age:28 Height: 5'11 Eye color: blue Pet peeves: deffo being ignored Hobbies/interests: erm karate, yoga, photography, modelling, reading. Special skills/abilities: i dont really know but i'm trained with fire arms, blackbelt in karate, flexible and mathmatically gifted. Like i'm really good at math. Insecurities: Not being good enough? Any phobias? losing my kids or dissapointing them Favorite movies: Casablanca Favorite TV shows: Murder she wrote. sorry not sorry Favorite books: Oh i have too many! My favourite ever is probably pride and predjudice but i've been reading the chronicles of narnia to the kids and thats been a fun read too. Roxxy keeps going in the wardrobes now trying to get to narnia ahah. Any pets? two, a pitbull called princess and a chihuahua from HELL called Killer. Killer is deffo the family guard dog. Nobody fucks with her. If a song played every time you walked into the room, what song would it be? erm ahah I dont even know Ive never thought about that ahaha. I want it to be something crazy like some music from kill bill or pulp fiction though ahah that would be pretty cool. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Being with my family. They are the most important thing in the world to me. What is your greatest fear? Dorian pissing off the wrong people and the kids paying for it, its farfetched but it could happen. you see it in movies all the time. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I'm too materialistic. I admit it. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Is being dicks a trait, ... no? okay then probably mean people i don't like people who are mean for the sake of being mean. Which living person do you most admire? erm. I honestly don't know. Elon Musk probably. What is your greatest extravagance? my house, cars, clothes. I live a pretty luxurious life. What is your current state of mind? I'm in a great state of mind. Never been better. but i'm always worried about Dorian and his work. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? The most overrated virtue? uhm. I dont think any virtue is particularly overrated. I think the world could stand to have more. On what occasion do you lie? I've had to lie to the cops so many times for Dorian. So when the cops and feds are sniffing around thats when i lie. What do you most dislike about your appearance? my jaw and nose dimples Which living person do you most despise? erm Dorians ex wife Donnatella. What is the quality you most like in a man? kindness What is the quality you most like in a woman? kindness too. Ahah Which words or phrases do you most overuse? I say "look" a lot, I cant think of anything else. I Used to call liberty a monkey and then it kind of spread to everything once, like i could just be making toast and it would pop and scare me and i'd call it a monkey. so theres that. What or who is the greatest love of your life? Dorian <3 When and where were you happiest? I'm happy everyday with my family, I love them so much. Each time I held my kids for the first time and my wedding day are winners though. Which talent would you most like to have? I'd love to speak another language. I tried learning Italian but apparently i'm not good at learning languages. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I wouldn't change myself. I'm at a stage in my life where i'm comfortable being me. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Getting my diploma in Economics with honors and becoming successful in the modelling industry. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? Thats a crazy question but I think i'd want to come back as a bird or something so I could fly anywhere Where would you most like to live? I'm happy in Oasis Springs but i'd love to live somewhere a little more quiet like willow creek to be honest. I love going there over christmas. What is your most treasured possession? The last photo i got with my dad before he died. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? When you know you're miserable but you don't see any way out so you don't even try. I really dont know thats a pretty deep question aha What is your favorite occupation? Modelling. Its so fun and I get to meet so many interesting people What is your most marked characteristic? I'm easy to open up to. What do you most value in your friends? Honestey and understanding Who are your favorite writers? Jane Austen, H.P lovecraft, Steven king, charlotte bronte, emily bronte Who is your hero of fiction? Elizabeth Bennett Which historical figure do you most identify with? I don't really identify with anyone is that sad? Who are your heroes in real life? Dorian, Dolly parton and Elon Musk. My kids are also my heroes <3 What are your favorite names? Liberty, Roxanne, Jimmy and Dorian because theyre my families names <3 also my dad Nixon but that also makes me think of president Nixon and I don't like him so much. What is it that you most dislike? Ignorance and pettiness. What is your greatest regret? That I didn't visit my dad more How would you like to die? I wouldn't ahah What is your motto? Carpe Diem its cliche but it got me where I am today

[theothersideofhim]

Stan Figures It Out: Part 1 (or, Asmodeus’ Super Fun Beehive Poking Text Log) (or, Nobody)

((So a few days ago me and Sarah went through a lot of really cool character development, but it was all over discord. I’d really like to have a record of it over here and let ya’ll read cuz it was GR8. 

Broke up it up into two parts since it’s so much, and this is part one. Basically Ash ( @ashenheartx ) decided to bother Stan about stealing his idea of making Merlin into a Hell puppet for a hot second, his previous relationship with God, and basically have a big old gay crush on Lucifer. Stan hates all these things and overreacts in true Stan theatrics fashion.

Warnings: NSFW descriptions and general lewd emojis. Ash being Ash. No other triggers far as I know.

Next part to come soon, probably tomorrow.))

Ash:

[txt] ps fuck you for stealing my idea and then failing it btw this is overdue

Stan:

[txt] OH CONGRATULATIONS

[txt] ITS BEEN HOW FUCKING LONG? AND YOU JUST GET THE BALLS TO FUCKING SAY SOMETHING TO ME?

[txt] WELL WELL WELL AT LEAST I KNOW YOU CAN DO MORE THAN FUCK

Ash:

[txt] well your butt was already spanked figured itd take this long for it to heal

Stan:

[txt] HARDY HAR HAR. YOURE REAL FUNNY YOU KNOW THAT? I SHOULD GIVE YOU A PROMOTION TO HEAD FUNNYMAN

[txt] GUESS WHAT THE CURRENT FUNNYMAN IS DOING?

Ash:

[txt] ruling hell for you

Stan:

[txt] WHA

[txt] NO

[txt]

[txt] I PUT HIM IN CHARGE OF THE WRITING TEAM FOR RICK AND MORTY

[txt] SO KEEP THAT IN FUCKING MIND

Ash:

[txt] you lied so hard and fast

[txt] you STUTTERED IN TEXT

Stan:

[txt] WELL I FIGURED THATS HOW YOU LIKED IT

Ash:

[txt] STUTTERED?

Stan:

[txt] I MEANT HARD AND FAST BUT FROM YOUR TRACK RECORD YOU DO SEEM TO LIKE SHRINKING VIOLETS SO

[txt] SHRINKING SHRIEKING NUNS

Ash:

[txt] that was ONE nun 

[txt] well alright it was mORE than oNE nun but she was special circumstance

Stan:

[txt] MMMMHMMMMM. AND BY THE WAY THAT WAS TIME WELL SPENT GOOD JOB. THAT DIDNT TURN INTO AN INCREDIBLE FAILURE

[txt] WHILE WE'RE ON THE FUCKING TOPIC

Ash:

[txt] he is only a failure FOR NOW

[txt] he's still not a defective one like many others

[txt] and has actual power

Stan:

[txt] Yeah he does I'll give him that

[txt] Can you really blame me for trying to step in and speed things up?

Ash:

[txt] yes

Stan:

[txt] Nope not allowed

Ash:

[txt] it is allowed because now it will take TWICE AS LONG 

[txt] because now he has sex and it's not as much of a pressure point

Stan:

[txt] im sorry im

[txt] IM FUCKING

[txt] gagGING BE RIGHT BACK

Ash:

[txt] ?????????? stop thinking about my son's dick

Stan:

[txt] YOU MENTIONED YOUR SONS DICK and please DON'T act like you DON'T think about it

Ash:

[txt] it's kind of my entire schtick to think about hidden treasure

Stan:

[txt] Isn't the real hidden treasure the dicks we sucked along the way though

Ash:

[txt] see now ive gone from mad to camaraderie and i dont appreciate that 

[txt] some how i doubt you have sucked any dicks tho

Stan:

[txt] OH NO IM THE DEVIL OOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[txt] IVE SUCKED ONE DICK DONT @ ME

Ash:

[txt]  🤔

[txt] proof

Stan:

[txt] UH IM SORRY

[txt] THEY DIDNT REALLY HAVE KIK OR SNAPCHAT BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF THE UNIVERSE

Ash:

[txt] bitch you gave god a bj why isn't this FRONT PAGE news

Stan:

[txt] THERES SOME HIDDEN TREASURE FOR YOU NOW FUCK OFF

Ash:

[txt] GURL WE AIN'T DONE WHO ELSE YOU BLOWIN

Stan:

[txt] RIGHT NOW IM PRETTY SURE EVEN ENTERTAINING THIS CONVERSATION IS CONSIDERED SUCKING YOUR DICK SO YOU??????????

Ash:

[txt] pretty sure my poor dick is flacid and not in your mouth but okay

Stan:

[txt] THE LAST THING YOU WANT IN MY MOUTH IS YOUR DICK

[txt] I'LL SUCK YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING HEAD

[txt] ILL VORE YOU FUCKING TRY ME

Ash:

[txt] honey 

[txt] darling

[txt] you've done worse to me please

[txt] oop kink shamed the devil

Stan:

[txt] If there's anything that can be said for me

[txt] It's that I don't have that as a kink

Ash:

[txt] shocking honestly 

[txt] what with that mouth tum 

[txt] but really not even luci? slacking

Stan:

[txt] YOUSHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT LUCIFERS ENTIRE DICK

Ash:

[txt] why the FUCK would i do that? it's a good dick 

[txt] ESP WHEN IT'S CUTE AND SMALL

Stan:

[txt] LISTEN YOU OVER GLORIFIED FUCK BUDDY

[txt MAYBE I SHOULD TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR LITTLE """""HIDDEN TREASURE""""""

Ash:

[txt] my cute butt because that's not hidden at all and you can ask luci

Stan:

[txt] Is it motherfucker????????????? Is it???? You're telling me you let Lucifer fuck you in the pussy????????????????????????? Because I'm calling bullshit on that. I'm calling bullshit that you ever allow anyone to get that fucking close to you anymore.

Ash:

[txt] well all of that is true, but he is aware of it i am sure. we didn't spontaneously know each other when we dropped out of the sky 

[txt] besides you probably dont share treasure like that because then how do you get to roll around in it when you want to to feel special. you dont. that's like telling people where the candy stash is

Stan:

[txt] YOU REALLY HIDING THE CANDY FOR LIKE 6000 YEARS CHIEF?????[txt] AT THE VERY LEAST I SHOULD GET A TASTE

Ash:

[txt] oh wait did i let the cat out of the bag for you because wow?????????????????? 

[txt] didn't you already know i had a pussy like come on man you've probably found it already 

[txt] it's pretty hard to remember some of that time when we first got down here though

Stan:

[txt] oh no bitch

[txt] i definitely knew

[txt] a shame you don't reMEMBER the fun we had

[txt] but it's been a WHILE AND A HALF

Ash:

[txt] must not have been all that good????????????? 

[txt] dick wasn't bomb apparently 

[txt] besides you alwyas had a thing for luci

Stan:

[txt] I'LL PUT A BOMB IN YOUR ACTUAL ASS I DID NOT ALWAYS HAVE A THING FOR HIM AND STOP CALLING HIM LUCI

Ash:

[txt] you had a THING for luci the first day we hit Hell don't even pretend you didn't 

[txt] luci luci luci 

[txt] how else am i supposed to say his name when he poppin that puss

Stan:

[txt] IM GONNA F CU KING PISSS

[txt] FUCK OFF

Ash:

[txt]  💄💯✨

[txt] and lemme remind you; it pOPS 💦

[txt] if you aren't saying 'luci' when you come im not sure what you're doing with your life 

[txt] but it's the wrong thing, darling 

[txt] i'll pray for you and your weird little obsessive love affair

Stan:

[If Ash is anywhere near the ninth level of Hell at that moment he might hear Stan literally screeching like a raccoon being rammed with a tennis racket. But then shortly after he wouldn't hear anything except for the illusion of Mitski's "Nobody" chorus playing on loop. It was sad and melancholy and repetitive and perfectly summed up the insult Stan WANTED to say about Ash's fucking life, but wasn't able to get past the screaming. Who the fuck cared about Ash's little opinion? Nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody....]

Ash:

[Look, Ash is a CACKLIN' instead of being offended because if Stan had meant to camouflage his feelings he had instead loudly broadcasted them. So, as a final goad, he gently hit send one final time. 

[vid] it's grainy like ten years ago small cellphone quality with sound, but it sure is Lucifer getting railed from chest to between thighs. it's less than thirty seconds and includes orgasms that end with dick withdrawing with an aforementioned pop and leak of white fluid 

[txt]  ❤️ 🎵 ttyl ]

Stan:

[Stan was having a HARD TIME OKAY????? He sure as fuck didn't need to be called out by Ash, and he sure as fuck couldn't keep up the illusion as soon as the video came through. That song snapped right out of Ash's reality with the same kind of swiftness as Stan's surprisingly potent jealousy boiling up within him. The phone got thrown on the ground, stomped on, punched a few times, then kicked across the motel room. 

THEN Stan got out a bat and beat the phone within an inch of it's digital life, manifested a hydraulic press and squished the phone with 12 tons of pressure per square inch, before finally mANIFESTING A GERMAN LEOPARD 2A6 TANK AND ROLLING IT THROUGH THE MOTEL LOBBY TO FINALLY DESTORY THE PHONE. 

(And then blast it with the tank's fully traversing rotating gun turret but by then he'd realized he'd never get that image out of his head no matter how much damage he did the phone.)]

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[talkingismylifewrites]

Broo ok could you give me ANYTHING HONESTLY ANYTHING with a king scenario?? Like theres johanna and regina (or whatever names you want idc) and ronald (gdhdns UGLY NAME SORRY) and dominic? Like sexy stuff, fluffy stuff, sexy fluffy stuff I DONT CARE (also its understandable if you dont write genderbends i just love ur hcs and style of writing SO MUCH)

i love genderbends, don’t worry! one day i will write my joger epic wherein roger is regina, the kickass drummer who blows john richard deacon’s mind because this fandom is lacking in genderbends particularly with girl!roger

Anyways, hope you enjoy!!

i feel like??? it just goes without saying that in the king!au they’re a little more...cautious about having babies

Regina and Johanna aren’t just like, normal women, they are Musicians and their job is 24/7 and demanding

Johanna getting pregnant initially was a Big Deal and not just because of Ron’s uber catholic family but because the band had to wrap up a tour as fast as possible, start working on a new album, and schedule in some maternity leave because yknow BABY

(Johanna was SO SCARED to tell the girls?? like she was worried they’d kick her out and make her leave because it was so ill-timed)

(not that you can TIME an accidental pregnancy. and really, if we’re gonna blame anyone blame Melina because she’s the one who literally poured tequila down her’s and Ron’s throats)

(so when Johanna found out she told, in order, her doctor, Ron, her mother, Ron’s mother, the cab driver who picked her up from the station, the woman who gave her the chocolate chip scone at her favorite bakery, and then the girls)

(Regina was the first to recover from the shock. she practically flew into her arms and started babbling about how wonderful it all was, how exciting, a baby!! what would they name it?? definitely Regina, such a regal name, and of course she’ll be godmother--

While Melina tried to hide that she was crying before sending Miami off to go fetch a bottle of sparkling apple cider as they deserved a toast! 

Brianna was the only one who was hesitant in celebrating, after all, they’d have a lot to manage before it came, but yes, congrats, Johanna! such a blessing)

Yes, so babies

Very strict about the babies because while little Rebecca was the reason they all got together, another baby could easily be why they all fell apart

Regina never wants to give up touring and making music, which a baby could impede

Johanna of course wants more, but she also doesn’t want to stop while they’re still going

(it’s also so not her turn, okay she only just managed to fit back into her prebaby jeans)

Ron and Dominic? 

They definitely want more kids 

For sure

Like Dominic just wants more little girls with Regina’s eyes and Ron’s reddish hair or Johanna’s smile and his own nose

But they’d never enforce that on their girls 

So they all decide: no babies until they’re ready

(they last exactly one year)

On Dominic’s birthday, they all proceed to get absolutely blitzed on too much red wine and too much good food while on tour in the south of Spain

Regina is the one who suggests skinny dipping in the Mediterranean but its Ron who initiates the sex

what originally was just Regina and Johanna splashing each other turns into Ron carrying Johanna caveman style back into their rental house and laying her out on the floor and licking the salt from her skin while Regina throws her legs over her shoulders and goes to town

Dominic follows shortly behind, shouting that it’s his birthday and he will not be ignored like this and someone better touch his dick before he leaves them all on grounds of emotional cruelty

Needless to say, everyone :) has :) fun :)

A month later, Regina is aware that Something Is Not Right

Regina is very in tune with her body

She has to be, as it is the most important part of her job for everything to be in working order

Drumming is more than just wrists and arms, if she’s sick or her legs are hurting she won’t be able to play like she usually does

So when she begins to feel...different? 

She freaks out, goes to the doctor, and discovers that their passion filled night by the mediterranean blitzed their Planned Babies Only Decision 

Regina freaks and drives straight to Miami’s office because, well

there’s a huge giant possibility that this baby’s father is a married man (Ron)

Miami, who already dealt with the logistics of their relationship and potential baby the moment he found out they were together gives her a big hug

 (Regina is totally his favorite he would rather die than admit it but it’s true) 

And tells her that he’s already figured it all out and that she’ll be taken care of

Also, they were due for time in the studio anyways, so they can work on a new album until regina has the baby and then they’ll have the break before the tour

With the band all handled, Regina decides that all she has to do is tell the others 

She goes back to the doctor, gets her first scan, and then she comes home, puts the picture of the Bean in a frame, and hangs it on the wall

“There’s no way they won’t notice it,” Regina says, resting her hands on her hips and admiring her little miracle

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

It takes them three weeks

At first it was cute

Then it was annoying

By the third week she’s ready to take the baby herself and find another three people who are more observant

Desperate times call for desperate measures 

She asks Dom if the photos in the living room are crooked and he’s like, nope, they’re looking good, Reg!

She asks Johanna to help her dust, and sends her to take care of the pictures in the living room. She watches as Jo dusts for 15min, chattering away about the new album but not noticing a thing

She straight up asks Ron if he noticed the new frame in the living room and Ron was like, oh, no, but i’m sure it looks great!

She’s completely given up when Melina, Marc, Brianna, and Chris come to dinner

Dom and Brianna have commandeered the kitchen, working side by side to make a roast with lots of vegetarian options

(Dom keeps trying to hip check her away when she starts Touching The Meat because what does she know about a roast??? They are Delicate Cuts of Meat and You Cannot Disturb Them! No Brianna, it’s not too dry!!) 

Her and Jo are curled up next to each other the couch chatting with Marc and Ron about the upcoming album

While Melina and Chris stand around shooting the shit and drinking beers by their record player

It’s Chris who spots it first, just out of the corner of his eye

Regina was quite proud the way she set it up. It’s just the picture in the frame, but underneath she’s written

Condom Failed: Deacon-Taylor-Tetlaff-Beyrand Baby, Due Spring 1977

She had a bit of a giggle when she was writing it, but now, knowing that she’s involved with Three Idiots, she thinks it was more than just condom failure that led her here

So Chris sees it, and he immediately drops his beer bottle, reaching out to grab Melina’s arm tightly

“The fuck, Mullen,” Regina snaps, staring at the mess on her floor.

“Are you alright?” Johanna asks, standing up to check on him

Melina stares at him, then his arm, before looking at where he’s staring

She sees the picture, and lets out a scream of excitement, her hands covering her mouth 

“Holy fuck!” 

Brianna comes running out of the kitchen at the sound, Dom on her heels (after he checked to make sure the roast was okay)

Meanwhile, Chris is really trying not to blubber because he really just loves babies and well, CLEARLY this is why they invited them over!

(Dom just wanted an excuse to make a roast) (he’s very proud of his recipe) (So So So Proud)

“Oh my god, you guys, congratulations!” Chris cries, moving to pull Johanna into a hug

Because let’s face it, she was the last one pregnant, so it’s a safe bet!

He’s Wrong though

“Thank you...?” Johanna says, returning the hug and making a face at Brianna over his shoulder. 

Brianna shrugs

“I can’t believe it! This is so exciting, you must be so excited!” Melina shrieks, barely able to get the words out

Chris is still hugging Jo tight

He pulls back, staring at her in horror, then at the wine glass in her hand

The wine glass

That he filled

Twice

“Johanna!” he yelps, unaware that Regina is burrying her face in her hands while Johanna is Confused

“You can’t drink when you’re pregnant!” 

There is a long pause

Very long

Johanna stares him deadass in the eyes and takes a large sip

“I’m not,” she says, as dry as her Merlot

“Then who’s sonogram is on the wall?” Melina demands

“What sonogram?” Ron snorts turning to look at the wall. 

“God you’re so lucky you’re cute,” Regina drawls, still perched on the edge of the couch, sipping at her tonic-lime-mint-hold-the-vodka

Ron frowns

Johanna gasps

Dom freezes

“Regina,” Dom says, his voice fragile. “Regina, are you--?”

“Hi Papa.” she smirks before looking at the other three, “Daddy, Mummy. Took you long enough to notice.” 

Johanna, who has never once shrieked in her life, shrieks before pressing their mouths together, her thumbs brushing the apples of Regina’s cheeks, whispering, “I love you so much.” 

Ron jumps to his feet with a whoop, grabbing Regina so as to spin her around and around in circles before letting her go to yank Johanna into a kiss

“We’re having a baby!” he cheers

Dom rushes towards her, falling to his knees before Regina and buries his face into her stomach

There may be tears

“Hi, baby,” he whispers, “It’s your Papa.” 

Regina runs her fingers through his hair, smiling wetly at the other three

“I hope the baby gets my brains because otherwise they’re fucked,” she laughs. “That photo’s been up for three fucking weeks!” 

The three of them laugh and cry and kiss

Regina is passed around the rest of them, where they, too, press kisses to her cheeks and hands to the slight curve of her stomach

It’s not until the faint scent of smoke wafts to them do they remember why they were all together to begin with

“My roast!” Dom wails

(seven and a half months later, Regina cuddles her newborn daughter while the three stand around, all three ready to greet the newest member of their family)

("Im just saying she looks like a Tiger Lily,” Regina coos) 

(”Over my dead body,” Johanna says wetly. Picking her name has been the second biggest fight in their entire relationship. “She’s too perfect for that.”) 

(They name her Catherine)

(It isn’t until they bring her home to they realize their mistake) 

(”This is my daughter, Cat,” Regina smirks.) 

("Goddamnit,” Johanna hisses.) 

[reesewestonarchive]

chapter four / rem belongs to @forlornraven / masterpost / mature content

Music pulses through Nakoa’s legs, and Jenna’s body sways against Nakoa’s, pressed against him as close as she can go. She smells like mangoes, like sweat.

Nakoa inhales against her neck, licks a long line up to her jaw, sucks against it. She shudders underneath him, and Nakoa grins as she takes his hand, presses it beneath her jeans. She turns her head, pupils blown wide, and she says, “Wanna go back to mine?”

Yes. Absolutely. Nakoa feels a buzz in his veins he hasn’t in a while at the prospect, and—”Yeah. You bet.”

He’s not sure where Rem is, but he’s been gone all day. left that morning, didn’t come back, even though the car still sits in the parking lot at the motel. At least, it did, before Nakoa took to the streets to find something to take his mind of it, off of wondering where Rem was.

Probably wasted in the back alley of some bar, still downing a bottle of whiskey he’d pilfered off of some unsuspecting bartender.

Or—maybe he’s doing exactly what Nakoa’s doing now, finding somebody to bury his dick into, get off without the mountain of complications.

It’s been three days, and between sightseeing and sleep, they’re only just west of Denver, in some shitty small town that reminds Nakoa of Withervale just a little too much, but the girls are attractive, and the guys look like they could punch Nakoa out if he stared a little too long, and Rem’s been in a bad mood since Baldie.

Nakoa’ll take his chances, he thinks, with Jenna. He asks, “Are you far?” and grins when she shudders as he touches her.

He goes home with Jenna, and tries not to think of Rem when he comes.

Jenna offers to give him a ride back to the motel, but in the aftermath Nakoa really just wants a fucking shower, to wash what feels like a layer of filth off of him, and some awkward fifteen minute drive across town isn’t going to make him feel any better.

And it’s not cold out, anyway. “I’m good,” he says, as he tugs on jeans. Jean covers herself with her sheet, cocks her head to the side.

“You okay?” Her tone is just this side of concerned; she’s being polite, but Nakoa can tell she’s not really interested in the answer.

“Yeah,” he says, then, for a reason he doesn’t know, he says, “just complicated.”

“Aw,” Jenna says, sitting at the end of her bed. “I know complicated.” She gives him a glance, then says, “You a cool guy?”

Nakoa’s a loser. Unemployed and homeless and traveling across the country without any kind of a fucking plan, in search of a better life he’s not sure he’s ever going to find. Mediocrity feels less like a shadow hunting him and more like the prize at the end of the race.

Is he running away from it, or running towards it?

“I guess.” She can’t be talking about that.

“My girlfriend and I are kind of on a break.” She shrugs. “And it’s so stupid.”

“Relationships are complicated,” Nakoa says. He pulls his shirt over his head. “My…” but the word doesn’t come. What is Rem? His best friend? It’s not untrue, but he’s reasonably sure most best friends don’t fuck.

Most.

Is there a word for something in the middle, between romantic and friendly?

As she watches him, Jenna seems to pick up what’s going through his head. “Oh,” she says, pointing a finger at him. “You got it bad.”

“I do not.”

“And I thought me and my girl were complicated.”

For some reason, that pisses Nakoa off more. “There’s no girl.”

It’s the first time he’s even come close to saying the word out loud. Nakoa knows there’s a word for who he is, but it still feels wrong when he says it, when he thinks it. Not the attraction—there’s merit in sleeping with all kinds of people—but the word. The way people see it and think disgusting. Heathen.

“Oh.” Jenna’s voice is soft, and she stands. “So. Same boat.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

She shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

They kiss before Nakoa leaves, just because Jenna enjoys it, just because she asks, and Nakoa agrees because she showed him a good time, and it’s the least he can do. He wishes her good luck with her girlfriend and stomps back to the hotel room.

Where Rem sits, outside of it, empty fifth clutched between his knees. He doesn’t hear Nakoa approach, but he does react when Nakoa touches his shoulder, jerks away like Nakoa’s burned him.

“About fucking time,” he says, and his voice is like a river, watery and rushing, tripping over itself in his eagerness to speak. “I’ve been waiting for hours.”

“Sorry,” Nakoa says. Doesn’t point out that Rem has a key, too. He unlocks the door. He tugs on Rem’s arm, and the whiskey bottle falls to the sidewalk, crashes and breaks. Nakoa leaves it. “Did you drink all of that?”

“It’s—” He hiccups. “Bottom shelf, don’t get hissy.”

Nakoa took… something, at the club, earlier, before he went home with Jenna. He’s awfully fucking hypocritical if he tells Rem that he can’t do this. At least he came back. At least they got away from Baldie. From Withervale.

Drunk and alive is better than the alternative.

He draws Rem into the shower, starts taking off his clothes, and Rem says, “Ooh, am I gonna fuck you over the counter?”

“Keep dreaming,” Nakoa says, as he pulls off Rem’s jeans. He’s cold, so Nakoa warms the water and shoves him under the stream. Rem yelps, but relaxes into the hot, if lacking pressure, water. His entire body goes slack as it cascades over him.

Nakoa turns away, doesn’t watch, as tempting as it is. “You get back okay?”

Rem laughs. “Please. Liquor store’s not that far away. Where’d you get off to?”

“Girl I met at the club.” Nakoa pitches his voice higher, to be heard over the water. “You have a good time?”

“Better when you’re there.”

But he didn’t ask. He’d blazed through cities, the last forty eight hours, taking small roads instead of highways, getting lost and debating over the map with Nakoa multiple times, and.

“Missed you,” Rem says, his voice quiet. Nakoa wonders if he even said it at all. If maybe he imagined it. He’s been wanting to hear Rem say it for so long. Hoping for some kind of sign.

But no.

The water shuts off, and Nakoa makes his way back out into the room, digs in Rem’s bag until he finds something suitable for bed for him. The idiot’ll pass out on the bed, if he doesn’t, and Nakoa’ll end up with none of the blanket instead.

Rem stands in the threshold to the bathroom, though, and Nakoa glances up at him, just once, before turning back to the task at hand.

“I mean it,” Rem says.

Means what? “Sure.” T-shirt, underwear. It’ll work. Someday, when Nakoa’s not counting every penny, he’ll buy Rem some new clothes, fi him back in with the style.

Nakoa, though. He needs a job, first. Something simple, something under the table. A stable place in LA, or somewhere else, because he and Rem are living off of gas station snacks and Nakoa’s stomach is protesting bite of food he eats.

But every mile between him and Withervale feels a little more like flying

He gives Rem his clothes, and before he can turn away, Rem’s fingers reach out, wrap around his wrist. His voice is soft, unlike him, when he says, “Nakoa,” and Nakoa looks up, studies the lines in Rem’s face, the curve of his cheekbones, the arch of his eyebrows.

He doesn’t know what to say, so he lifts a shoulder in a shrug and holds uncertainty deep in his chest like an old friend. Rem strokes his thumb down Nakoa’s wrist, and there’s a short glimpse of a smile before he lifts one hand, the one holding his towel, and pulls Nakoa in, forehead to forehead, whiskey strong on his breath.

Nakoa breathes it in, lets his eyes fall close as the towel unravels at Rem’s feet, as Rem closes the distance between them.

Rem tastes like whiskey, like freedom, like betrayal, but Nakoa can’t complain if he tastes like someone else. He accepts the kiss for whatever it is, and pulls back. Taps his fingers against Rem’s chest and says, “I’m pretty tired, man.”

It’s not a denial, but Rem’s different, shitfaced, whiskey heavy on his lips and in his limbs, and Nakoa likes him normal, likes him sober, likes the way he lingers. Often, Nakoa wonders if he imagines the lingering.

He doesn’t question it. But the stark difference between sober and drunk feels like night and day, and Nakoa would rather not.

If Rem asks, the answer is yes. But Nakoa prefers not giving him the opportunity to ask. It’s easier to deny him.

Sometime in the night, Rem wakes and vomits over the side of the bed. Nakoa m, eyes heavy with sleep, says nothing. Presses himself against Rem’s back when he’s done, wracking his brain for a song. Settles in on “Friday I’m in Love” after he decides The Clash might be too fast.

His forehead is sweaty against Rem’s shoulder blades. But he doesn’t pull away, keeps humming for Rem well after the song is through, continuing with Modern English and Simple Minds.

“You don't have to do this.”

Nakoa doesn’t falter in his humming, just drops a hand over Rem’s waist and tugs him in.

He pressed his mouth against Rem’s skin, not like a kiss, bur as much like one as he dares. He hums, holds Rem’s denial behind his teeth, doesn’t answer.

-

“Clutch,” Rem says, pressing on Nakoa’s left knee. “Middle is brake. Right’s gas.” He taps the gear shift. “So, driving. Ease off the gas a bit, onto the clutch, shift, off the clutch, onto the gas.”

Nakoa blinks. His heart beats, strong and steady in his chest. “And to move?”

Rem’s voice holds its tone when he speaks, walks Nakoa through the steps. The car stalls under Nakoa’s guidance the first three times, but Rem pushes him forward, encouragement heavy in his words, and Nakoa’s chest swells with pride when he can finally drive his way across the parking lot.

They traded in the junker for this piece of shit, more torn up than the last. It smells like weed and vomit and pine trees, but it gets better mileage, and the speakers aren't blown out, and Rem won fifteen hundred in a bet on the game two nights ago.

The Earth feels less like Jello beneath Nakoa's feet.

Rem grips his thigh when Nakoa turns through the parking lot, pleased as he lets out a yell, and—oh.

Nakoa kills the engine, and the car comes to a slow stop. “Fuck.”

But Rem waves it away. “It’s great! Shit, I burnt out Billi’s clutch the first time I tried—” But at the mention of his mother, Rem’s expression falls. He shoves open the door, says, “Enough for today.”

They’re in Utah. Have been for a few days, after replacing the windshield in Colorado, after Jenna.

Yesterday, Nakoa got inexplicably homesick, stared at a payphone for five minutes, and convinced himself not to call.

Barely.

They settle into each other’s seats. The beauty of this van, Nakoa realizes, is that it isn’t; an old, clunker of a beast, with the back seats torn out and a sunroof modded in. Except for showers, they don’t need motels anymore.

Their trip got a hell of a lot cheaper. And, heading into LA, Nakoa’s not sure how far their money will go.

Relieved to be out of the driver’s seat, back under Rem’s practiced hand, Nakoa reaches for the cigarettes and lights up.

His voice echoes. “Think we can find a mattress?”

“One that isn’t covered in shit or blood?” Rem shrugs. “Guess we’ll find out.”

They do; kind of. They definitely find the mattress. An old, stained old thing from an old woman in the city, who’s upgrading for her and her husband. She takes one look at the van, one look at Nakoa and Rem, and pats Rem’s hand with a twinkle in her eye. “I expect you boys will get plenty of use out of it.”

She winks at Nakoa, and Nakoa offers her an uncertain smile. Rem looks like his head is going to blow off if she doesn’t let go of it.

The manhandle the mattress into the back of the van after Nakoa hands over the twenty. The mattress isn’t stained, isn’t old, but it’s floral and weak and smells of mothballs, and when Nakoa shuts the door to the passenger seat, it already reeks of old perfume in the van.

Rem sits next to him, quiet and pensive. Doesn’t start the van.

Nakoa waits, but ten minutes and he’s still sitting there. “What?”

“What’d she mean by that?”

By… what? “Who?”

“Getting use out of it. That’s not fucked up to you?”

For the— “Rem, she probably meant with girls.”

“…Right.”

“You’re really worried about what some random old woman has to say about shit?” Nakoa’s not exactly out and proud, but this isn’t under his skin. Rem picks at what’s left of the polish on his nails, his body tense and unforgiving. “Rem.”

“Never mind.”

He’s ashamed, then; that’s what that means. His mothers, he has mothers, and he still feels shame. Nakoa’s own family makes jokes at the expense of people like them, has told him that if one of their children was queer they’d set them straight, and Rem’s the one sitting here worried about what this old woman thinks of them.

But it’s not anger that courses through Nakoa’s veins, thinking that. Instead, confusion muddles his brain. He tries to think of something, anything, to make him feel better, but there’s nothing. Not words, anyway. Nakoa licks his lips, he’s about to suggest that they go to a park, or an abandoned parking garage or something and they can christen the new mattress, but Rem puts the van gear and drives off.

They hit up a department store for the sheets, and Nakoa spends twenty minutes glaring at on-sale camping gear trying to find sleeping bags that don’t look like shit while Rem searches for pillows, and Nakoa feels the weight of his remaining money in his pocket like a brick.

He’s not sure how much is left. Between the van, the motels, food, Nakoa’s sure it’s dwindling. Rem says nothing, just brings home dinner, whiskey, less and less every day.

 Nakoa buys the blankets. What else are they supposed to do—go back home?

They find a place on an empty road, far from the city, that night, coyotes howling in the distance, a small campfire built out of the back end of the van. Rem hangs his legs off the van, stares up at the sky. A bottle of whiskey sits between his legs. Bowie plays softly in the background.

Nakoa’s not sure of the last time he’d been this happy. In Utah, of all places, so far from home that Withervale feels like a separate fucking planet.

In the clear night, the glow of the crackling fire, Nakoa wonders if Rem would agree. If he seems happy, or if he is happy. Rem never fucking talks to him, tells him to fuck off if Nakoa gets too close. If he missteps. He’s a jackass.

Nakoa’s afraid of how much he likes him anyway. If, once they get to LA, if Rem will enjoy it. If he’ll enjoy it too much.

He reaches for the whiskey, pleased by the noise Rem makes as he goes for it. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

Rem’s laugh comes stark and surprising, echoes across the empty space, and Nakoa wants to kiss him until he feels that warmth through his entire body. “Probably the only thing I can get up right now.”

Snorting, Nakoa lifts the whiskey to his lips, savors the taste, the taste, and heat that pools in his stomach. “This is,” he says, but doesn’t know what he wants to say. Captivated by the stars, by the scenery. But Rem’s quiet, comforting presence beside him—

Nakoa wants to kiss him. Press him into the flowery, old mattress behind them and undress him, kiss down his chest and blow him, press into him until Nakoa’s name rests on his lips soft and tense. Until Rem clenches his teeth and his groan comes from his chest and.

Fuck. He wants, so much, to make Rem feel so good that he forgets what the world has done to him. 

“I’ve thought about living off the land before. Away from the city. Own a little farm or something.” An orchard. Some goats. Chickens, the modern dinosaurs they are, and Nakoa presses his finger against the ankylosaurus tattoo on his side. Thinks back to the artist that did it for him, briefly, and what he’s doing.

If he remembers Nakoa at all.

“Get the fuck away from people,” Rem says. He sounds tired, now, drunk. He hops from the van and kicks dirt over the fire. It’s dark enough that Nakoa can’t make out Rem’s features without direct light.

“Yeah.” But not Rem. “Dunno. Don’t wanna get kicked in the head, either.” Doesn’t want to give Rem up. He holds that deep inside his chest, though, locked away where he hopes Rem won’t find it, where Nakoa himself won’t be tempted to look.

When Rem says nothing, Nakoa crawls up the mattress, knees scraping the cool metal of the floor of the van. He tugs one of the sleeping bags over his body, presses his face into his pillow and sighs.

He’s not sure when Rem shuts the door and joins him, but Rem lies there, on his back, until Nakoa’s loopy with exhaustion and alcohol, and on the verge of sleep. Nakoa hears him say, “I—”

And then Nakoa passes out.

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes 7.5 or Megamorphs 1

Book 7.5/ Megamorphs 1

Why does this format of an animorph book exist? Aren’t we supposed to be under the impression that the kids are writting diaries or someshit like that?

Starts with Jake

Again, not seperating the yeerks from their hosts is a very bad mentality to have

Also aparently Ax doesn’t get to be an animorph

ALso Ax skipps out on a lot of meetings. Granted the kids could show some consideration for Ax and meet in the woods

Rachel is going on a two day gymnastics trip

Tobias is an asshole and continues to over anthropomorphise animals. I havent forgoten him sneaking into Cassie’s family’s barn to eat the patients

...Cassie teh crow can and will go where ever it pleases after it recovers. Heck it might hunt Tobias down and mob him out of spite

Melissa’s going on the trip

Wow Jake, rude. Tobias can have romantic relationships even if his body remains a bird

Marco’s the kinda jerk to crash parties he wasnt invited to

Full moon

Cassie is psychic. WHich honestly I don’t doubt.

Rachel part

Are they… all going to give intros?

Not that Jake is without his own level of stupidity. I mean, he was right there with us,

walking through an isolated, abandoned construction site that night. Wasn't the smartest

thing we ever did.

I’ve not forgotten the flea thing from book 2

Rachel gets books for Tobias

...damnit Rachel you can’t just show up at a camp without letting peolple know ahead of time. They need warning gto make sure they have room and food for you

I was close to Tobias's territory when I spotted something interesting below me. It was a

deer-like animal, running swiftly through the trees. When I focused my laser-intensity eagle

sight, I could see the semihuman torso and face and the deadly scorpion tail.

Aximili

ANd this is why large predatory bird morphs aren’t great. Rachel getting mobbed

A bunch of small birds take down Rachel

Marco part

Honestly Marco sounds like some of the jackass class clowns I had in school, Darlene’s not wrong to not invite him

The kids ARE all going to give the intro talk

Marco that is a very confusing way to talk

Ax is right, this is dishonorable

That poor mouse

Ax has parasites. ANd Marco is extorting? him to help him be a creep b4 he’d give Ax medicine for them. Dick

Technically speaking none of the kids actually knows how the morphing tech works

When I was done acquiring the mouse I handed it to Ax. He had to use both hands to hold

on. Andalite arms and hands are kind of puny. Of course, they also have four legs, and

those are pretty strong. I mean, Ax can haul when he wants to. I'll bet he could do forty

miles an hour.

Baby arms

So the reason Marco wasn’t invited IS b/c he’s a dick

A bunch of jays took out Rachel

Part Jake? What?

That whent jake> rachel>marco>jake? Bullshit

You don’t have to go to a party if you don’t want to people

Why couldn’t this part be narrated by Cassie? She’s fucking here!

Jake is fucking ready, fight or flight

Marco and Ax are very lucky none of the kids or adults at the party try to crush them to death

Huh, Marco and Ax are lucky that none manages to crush them to death

Jake is ready to cuss the shit outta Marco

Accidental human pileup saves Jake’s life

Part… Marco? BULSTIT SHILSHSTSOSHS

AX IS RIGHT THERER LET HIM NARRATE YOU THINDER CUNTS

I hate this human centric bs and it fucking leaves out Cassie

Marco,,, cats are very good at NOT being seen. Ambush predators

Marco is a dick

Then I saw it. It was gigantic! Enormous! A creature that seemed to be made of nothing but

teeth and blades and destruction. It was like twenty Hork-Bajir glued together and given

dragon wings.

heh

Poor Darlene’s family

It looked down at us with a dozen weird eyes that seemed to be stuck here and there at

random. It stared at us the way I'd seen Tobias stare at his prey.

Part, sigh, Rachel

Rachel has amnesia

Ns somehow started morphing while unconcious

If you wonder if yer a freak and are that startled with yer apperance, then no that’s not always how you were

If you need to concentrate to morph, how’d u managed that far with a heavy concussion/unconciousness?

Part Tobias

Damnit they are all giving the intro speech

Huh, so marco and ax coulda gotten killed twice b4 they even got to the party

Also the fuck how is the yeerks covering the wind monster

Part fucking Rachel

...why is this creature wasting so much energy instead of just flowing around the trees

Like people are seeing this shit

Finally! Part Cassie

Cassie spotted cryptid Rachel in the news

Part Rachel. WHy not just have her narrate the whole book at this point?

There’s an excaped yeerk host living in an abandoned clothing shop in the woods

Well, thaty’s not an unreasonable response for an excaped host

Rachel got some memories beaten back intio her

Oh she might be one of the people who’s yeerk starved from the actions of last book

Part fucking Jake again

The kids are gonna track down Rachel by scent

The monster found them

Part rachel

Old lady is gonna burn down the shack, with Rachel inside, b/c she’s not going back to the yeerk pool

Rachel morphs bear without concentrating or intending to or even knowing how

These bootleg books are so bad. Part Marco

They’d be dead if the creature turned back to particle form and just reformed around their bodies

Part Rachel. Really this is mostly just Rachel/Jake/Marco as narrators. No attempt at equaly splitting up the plot

I looked at the new creature. It had come to a stop, just a dozen feet away. I peered at it

with my dim bear vision. It had four legs, like a horse or a deer. But it seemed to have a

head and upper body that was almost human. And there was a tail, I was sure of that. The

tail was cocked back like a weapon ready to be fired.

Andalite

Fifteen fucking chapters in and Ax finally gets to narrate

Ax does the intro speech

Ax says he’s not an animorph

Ax doesnt like having to be the space expert

Ax tucks his tail to his back to run fast

Ax is smart enought to know when standing yer ground is a terrible idea

Ax figured out that morphing attracts the beast.

Morphing has a distinct kind of energy signature

Part jake

Andalites have a distinct scent

Ok lots of animals can harm or kill a large bear. This is turning into a raptors are mahjestick thing

Tobias assumes that Ax tried to fight the creature. Tobias doesn’t really know Ax well enough

Part Cassie

Why are they at the mall?

AGain I wouldn’t be surprised if Cassie is supposed to be psychic

You don’t mean Chapman, you mean Iniss 226

Learning about history is useful in figuring out humans and with invasion plans Cassie

Part Ax

… do andalites even have battle axes? They dont have the arms for it

Once, the Hork-Bajir were a decent, peaceful race. Then they were enslaved by the Yeerks.

Hork-Bajir are incredibly dangerous and very powerful. They stand on two legs, balanced

by a tail. Each leg ends in a foot, like an Earth bird of prey. They have two arms. There are curved blades at their knees, at their elbows, at their wrists. Blades similar to my own tail-

blade. Atop their snakelike heads are two more blades, swept forward. And their tails end in long, sharp spikes.

They are not a species you want to start a fight with. Which may be why they were such a

peaceful, even poetic, species. They had no one to fear. Until the Yeerks began to make

them into Controllers.

The series did so much retconing

Again, I like the Parting the Clouds fic so much better. At least there someone tried to figure out how to use the aura power

Veleek is the dust monster, from Saturn

So the andalite bandits being human was a solid yeerk theory

Visser 3 continues to waste good bodies

Visser 3 throew a lot of bodies into getting a veleek pet

Part Cassie

Compund eyes dont work like that

Iniss 226 knows about spy novels and thinks they’re stupid

Iniss 226 is not a dumb yeerk

Also Visser 3 is the worst boss

Part rachel

Rachel is starting to put things together

Part Marco

The kids ar eputting 2 and 2 together

Part rachel

Rachel made it back to civilization

Rachel breaks into a house for food and rest’

Some snitchy bitch called the police

Rachel the elephant says fuck the police

Part jake

The kids steal Cassie’s dad’s truck

Part rachel

The veleek chases elephant Rachel

The veleek cant pick up an elephant

Part marco

Why do they have marco drive?

Also that poor truck

Jack morphs to lure the creature’s attention

Part jake

Why did jake choose tiger for being chased?

Part rachel

Doesnt quite have her memory back but ready to help

Part ax

Ax feels like a failure of a warrior

Suddenly, one wall of my cage shimmered and became transparent. Ramonite is a metal

that can stretch open or be made clear or opaque by molecular realignment.

Nice’

Ax is also racist towards taxxons

Visser 3 is a terrible boss

Part marco

That poor truck

Why choose gorrila for a chase?>

Part rachel

Cassie tries to fill the gaps fotr rachel

Part marco

Part cassie

Cassie chooses squirlle

Bug fighters are stooting at em

Part ax

So bug fighters and shit DO have cameras

Flea ex machina

Ax morphs one of his fleas

… theres no way in hell thast theres no bugs on the andalite homeworld

Thats not what a flea mouth is like

Ax says that andalites have a shit vertical jump

Part marco

The veleek caught him

Ax is on Visser 3

Ax is having a blast fucking up Visser 3’s day

Part ax

And only then, locked together with it, was I able to see it through my weak flea eyes. It

was alive! It was a creature my own size, but with a hundred minuscule wings that beat the

air. It had antennae, but different than any seen on Earth. These antennae were covered in

tiny, upturned bowls. Like the dishes of primitive human radio telescopes. Those were the

structures it used to sense energy sources.

There were no eyes. And no mouth. But two long filaments, like strands of wire, swept

back from the front of the creature. These must be how it fed: by channeling the energy

down the wires.

The Veleek was not one creature. It was billions! It was a swarm of billions of these tiny

creatures. They had evolved into a swarm that could come together and become a

destructive entity of gnashing teeth and slicing blades. But in reality they were separate

insectlike creatures that fed on energy.

Its a swarm of navivorous bugs

Water is the veleek’s weakness

Marco and Ax jump out of the ship

Part rachel

Her memory is mostly back

Hork-bajir have foot long blades on their head, that’s impoalement’

Part marco

Fear speads up thei morphing

Part jake

Jake is grounded

The team apparently whent home without knowing if marco and ax were alive

Part cassie

Cassie is psychic and can probably see the future

Cassie comes up with a plan that only she can do

To make up for almost getting marco killed

Part tobias

So did Cassie not have a whale morph already? DIdn’t marco get one when they’d met the psychic whales?

Or am I thinking of a fanfic?

Part cassie

Cassie is awesome

Cetaceans are just canon psychic

Part tobias

Cassie is a total badass

Part cassie

Rapid fire morphing

Falling whale body slam

Part rachel

So apparently the veleek never evaporates out of the ocean at any point later?

Cassie speaks whale . Cassie is the one chosen by the whales. All hail the whale messiah