#dont get me wrong i love a good fight scene and prime has got some bangars

[sprucelogsarepeak]

in regards to the new season I think there is only one way to make me excited about many many robot fights and that is to have shadow the hedgehog kick some ass in it

[alwayshaveneverholdd]

REWRITING NARUTO ROMANCES SO THEY DONT SUCK

We all know that the romance in Naruto is trash and Kishimoto himself admitted to not knowing how to write female characters and getting embarrassed by romantic scenes…so let’s fix that shit

part 1: NaruHina

(I wrote this down as my notes for the post but I actually like it this way so I’m just copy and paste my raw thoughts lol if you get offended you can write a letter to your local congressman, prime minister, or whoever rules over provinces in other countries)

First let’s shit on the original ship shall we

Naruhina…

- what the fuck was the build up to this relationship

- “I respect naruto and I want to be like him! But I’m too shy to talk to him! I even fainted when I saw him after the blank period! JK I HAVE MEGA HUGE BALLS AND CONFRONTED PAIN TO SAVE NARUTO!!!! Confessed my love and got my ass kicked….then didn’t speak to him until the fourth great ninja war and now we’re married with two kids” what the Fuck

- Also can we just talk about how after Hinata confessed her love…and literally almost died for naruto…he didn’t say SHIT to her after he defeated pain, and it was like she never confessed in the first place Lmfao

- He still liked Sakura! But Sakura always loved Sasuke so wtf

- He even was like “YEAH YEAH” when Minuto asked if Sakura was his girlfriend during the war. Then ten minutes later he’s holding hands with hinata and their love and shit (ft the rest of the ASF) and going up against fucking madara obito whatever… what the fuck

- AND THEN BAM THEY GET MARRIED AWWWWWWWWBWBWBWBLEEHHHH

- It makes no sense bro—people say Sasuke never shows his love for Sakura,…to me, naruto never gave a shit about Hinata, at least not romantically (he literally acted like her existence was forgotten for 3/4s of the show; at least Sasuke always acknowledged Sakura from the start)

- It also feels like narutos crush on Sakura was never resolved (I know that they’re supposed to be shown realizing that they aren’t into each other in The Last but…bro isn’t that way too fuckin late to make sense lmfao) He just suddenly shacked up with Hinata???? Bc her cousin died….Idk man that’s kinda fucked up lmfao

So let’s fucking fix this shitshow

- I get that Hinata is shy and stuff but that bitch is a fucking hyuga SHE IS POWERFUL SO GIVE HER MORE SCREENTIME KICKING ASS

- And can we??? Give her more lines in the first part???? Other than “n…n…naruto….” “N-naruto?” “Naruto!” Like wtf was that dude that shit was way more annoying to me than anything.

- We all know Hinata has thoughts feelings and opinions (as humans do) so let’s have her voice them sometimes okay

- Being shy doesn’t automatically make you mostly mute and constantly stuttering

- That stereotype makes me want to crush skulls bro

- Can we give her some balls before pains fight bc that made no sense

- Like maybe standing up to neji even a little bit and defending herself more during the chuunin exams

- I’m not saying she has to be like “HEY SHITHEAD IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS” bc that’s totally out of character but she totally could’ve been like “Hey you’re kinda wrong and pls show me respect as a member of your clan and an equal leaf shinobi”

- Also I get that Hinata was inspired by naruto but can we stop making every female character’s rise to power and want to be stronger related to a dude?

- Like fine if she was inspired by him but I think it would’ve been way more of a credit Hinata as a person if naruto simply REMINDED her of that part of herself that’s dedicated to proving her family wrong

- I’m just gonna write this as if it happened this way

- She keeps par with Neji, and does ultimate lose but it makes Neji see that Hinata is actually strong and a formidable opponent

- No more shit eating grins from that ego maniac

- And after Hinata battles Neji, she confronts naruto and thanks him for reminding her of her inner strength

- Naruto, who’s surprised that Hinata is talking to him, is like “yeah, sure thing, hinata. You did great!”

- And that opens the door for their real friendship

- Hinata is someone naruto can confide in about Sasuke, and he trusts her

- Hinata becomes someone that gives naruto compassionate advice, and he cherishes her comforting nature

- Then in part 2 after they’re all a bit older, naruto is kinda like “o” when he sees that Hinata has come into her wOmaNhOoD and he’s attracted to her.

- During the blank period he worked through his feelings and realized he only liked Sakura bc of his rivalry with Sasuke. End of that crap

- But naruto is dense as fuck and doesn’t see Hinata in a romantic way until she stands up for him against pain

- Hinata holds her own against pain for a bit bc she’s powerful in her own right but does get her ass beat anyway bc yk rinnegan and everything

- Naruto loses his shit seeing her cut down in front of him and defeats the last pain

- After naruto gives one of his MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES and changes nagato before his death, the entire village greets him as a hero

- Instead of Sakura running up to him to hug him in that strangely intimate way that’s out of character bc she doesn’t fucking like him that way

- Sakura gives naruto a good hug and is like “you did it buddy you’re pretty cool ig”

- Then naruto talks to Hinata bc she??? Confessed her love? And took a massive beating for him???

- And they start a sort of flirty relationship where they both like each other but like waaaay too much is going on to actually date

- Like they try to between pains assault and the five mage summit but with the news of Sasukes massive downfall and the bounty on his head naruto is like dude I can’t do this rn

- And Hinata is cool so ofc she understands even tho she’s a bit sad

- And during the war when minato asks if Sakura is narutos girlfriend he says “😅 no dad, we’re just good friends”

- Then he holds hands with Hinata and the village and sings kumbaya to kick the fuck out of madara obito

- Then they get married and shit proceeds as normal

- Except in boruto when everyone returns from the battle in the other dimension she doesn’t run up to naruto first okay she hugs her SON and says “thank goodness you’re safe!” And then hugs naruto and thanks him for his work

God fuck okay I’m done

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[magical-girl-coral]

you get two characters- Entrapta and Hordak!

Thank you, babe 💜 

First, Entrapta

Why I like them - she’s the best autism rep I’ve seen yet. She’s funny, brilliant, beautiful, and all-around best girl. Her complexity and brilliance will never be forgotten

Why I don’t - It’s not a problem with her as much as the writers. In the last season, her treatment has been awful which ruined some of her better moments. Out of context, they’re great, but in context, most things fall flat.

Favorite episode (scene if movie) -  Ignoring that one scene fans have already torn to pieces, the rescue from Beast Island was incredible.

Favorite season/movie - Season three. 

Favorite line - Everyone already knows the more iconic lines so I’m choosing my favorite underrated one, “Wait, do I have to explain math to you?”. I love unintentional sass.

Favorite outfit - Her space outfit.

OTP - Entrapdak, of course.

Brotp - Honestly? The Super Pal Trio. I miss their dynamics.

Head Canon - Entrapta secretly wanted revenge against the princesses for leaving her behind. Part of the reason why she joined the Horde so easily was that her anger took control of her actions. When Catra apologized on Darla, Entrapta remembered how her anger brought her nothing and forgave Catra instead.

Unpopular opinion - Entrtapta should have been allowed to get angry in season five. She was abandoned twice, almost died thanks to depression vines, and had to work with people who hated for weeks. I don’t care for emotional maturity, she already showed signs of anger and annoyance in the earlier season and with how the show treated her. Entrapta’s acceptance of Catra felt like a mix of “autistic character feels emotions like a robot” and “neurodivergent putting their feelings aside for a neurotypical.” It all just left a bitter taste in my mouth.

A wish - Please let her have a good break after this. She has been used enough.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - Getting together with Wrong Hordak. He’s like her fucking kid, y'all serious about this?

5 words to best describe them - brilliant, naive, funny, unique, and perfectly imperfect.

My nickname for them - tech wife.

Now, Hordak

Why I like them - The more complex villain in the last few years. A beautiful and tragic story arc with a happy ending that still makes me cry. One of the best written male characters in cartoon history and you can fight me on that.

Why I don’t - I don’t there is something I don’t like about them as much as the fandom sometimes. He’s not an innocent baby. He was a conqueror and a dictator with a lost cause who most likely killed Scopria’s family. Stop watering his character down so you guys will have your “unproblematic fave.”

Favorite episode (scene if movie) - The season finale of season four. The escalation of the events left me breathless and Hordak’s tears did something to me. Literally, everything about this episode was perfect.

Favorite season/movie - Season five. He was there for less than fifteen minutes but he still stole the show.

Favorite line - “I am Hordak, and I defy your will.” (Sidenote: I memorized his entire speech and practiced it before sleep for weeks. I love it that much)

Favorite outfit - His slutty battle outfit. Nothing says “how to make your ex take you back” like an open cut dress and a giant fucking arm gun.

OTP - Entrapdak

Brotp - Him and Adora. I feel like they’re going to talk a lot after some dust starts to settle.

Head Canon - Hordak sneezes just like Catra. They both got into a pollen field once and refuse to talk about it ever again.

Unpopular opinion - Hordak’s arc in season five was kind of clumsy. I found It odd how was there to find the Luvd crystal, be there for Prime’s speeches, see Prime look into his old vessel,  find Entrapta AND be the guard that stood next to her in Prime’s big final villain speech. It was all very convenient.

A wish - For Hordak to find out more about his own biology. I highly doubt he knows a lot thanks to Prime.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - NO ONE KILL OFF THE SPACEBAT. I FUCKING MEAN IT.

5 words to best describe them - intelligent, beautiful, hard-working, hot-headed, misunderstood.

My nickname for them - space-bat, emo space-bat, Entrapta’s trophy husband.

[houseplant-central]

Padme Amidala part one; why did the madonna/whore complex give this woman sharpshooting skills?

This is going to be part one of a two part post about the star wars prequel films (sorry in advance about that), specifically Padme and her role as the only important female character in the 90s triliogy. This post will talk about the first two films, and the next post will talk about the third and final film. Keep in mind that I did not see the prequel films until I was an adult (which is kind of weird, since the prequels have a lot more kid oriented jokes (from C3PO getting assembled wrong on the assembly line in film two and making a series of bad puns to everything about jar jar binks (which, as a side note, YIKES we dont stan racist comedy here, but the "humor" with him was clearly directed at kids)). That being said I think the three films over all are a hilarious product of the 90s and I'm not trying to start discourse about wether they're objectively good or bad-- they are both, and that's okay. What I'm interested in is Padme. The "Madonna"/"Whore" dicotemy is a freudian idea. I don't neccisarily believe that it happens with all men in real life, and I certainly don't think we should excuse it in real life, but I DO think it is previlant in writing, and the way female characters are written (both presently and in the past). The madonna/whore dicotemy basically boils down to the idea that men view women either as "good" virtuous people (the madonna, a maternal figure and an eternal virgin) whom they love but could never sexualize, OR as sexually interesting companions (the whore), whome they desire but could never love. This of course, in the real world is a bullshit excuse for putting women into patriarical boxes based on their outwards apperance and if any man ever gives you "well now I genuinely care about you so I feel like I can't sexualize you" it's time to go because that sexualization inherently included violence if he's now worried about thinking like that around you. There is plenty of feminist literature written about this concept and I highly reccomend a look into it because it's fascinating (try starting with even just the abstract for this paper: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-04940-001). However! What I'm here to talk about today is how writers unconciously use this dicotemy with their female characters, and why, specifically, when Padme gets graduated from Madonna to Whore in Attack of the Clones, she suddenly knows how to fight when she couldn't before. My aim is not to conclusively say why, because I've been analyzing these films for the past couple days and I still have no idea why, but rather just to bring the question up, and provide evidence, as it is a fascinating phenonmeon of the 90s that I feel many female characters got treated to (with Padme as a prime example). Lets talk about Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones and the Madonna/ Whore. In Phantom Menace we're introduced to Padme (Natalie Portman) as an intellegent diplomat. When she's not done up in her planet's traditional leader's dress, she's in long sleeved simple dresses, tights and braids. She wears natural make up in her "maid disguise" for which she is in ninty percent of the film, and in the famously creepy "tucking in anakin" scene she is for some reason in the whole royal maid getup which includes gloves and covering her hair. Cultural modesty for the royal maids was written in to the worldbuilding, but it seems to have been done larely so that they could get away with having Natalie Portman play young Padme in this film and not be "sexy" until film two in which she is teenage Padme. Padme plays an extremely maternal role for Anakin in Phantom Menace, from physically protecting him to the aformentioned tuck in scene at 1:19:30 where she quite literally tucks him in for bed. This of course has been analyzed all to hell already as exceedingly WEIRD because the two eventually marry and have children together (so the freud analysis here is valid). We'll take a quick break for a digression here on Padme's age. I've refered to her in Phantom Menace as "young Padme", but realistically she is just Portman minus the makeup she's allowed to wear in later films. We know that she's the "child-ruler" of her nation, but she also realistically feels like she's in her early teens in Phantom Menace, and is certainly treated like an adult by her peers; we see her throughout the film making decisions on foriegn policy, wartime politics and wartime sacrifices. Anakin was most definietly a child in the first film, and was replaced by an adult actor in the subsequent films as his character aged, and this difference makes it feel like there's a very large and very weird age gap between the two characters. But fully back to the matter at hand, Padme is a very maternal, modest character in Phantom Menace both in apperance and in dialouge, and she clearly establishes that she views Anakin as a child. In Attack of the Clones, when the romance plotline starts, suddenly Padme is allowed to be sexy (by 90s standards anyways). She gets jewlery, she gets makeup, and she gets a whole lot more ARMS and shoulders showing that she was previously allowed (specifically see 44:30 when they travel back to Naboo). Of course this is to coincide with her growing up, but the fact of the matter is that Padme gets to be attractive when the script calls for Anakin to be attracted to her. There are still some traditional queenly outfits, but by the time they're ready to go rescue Obi Wan, she's in a skin tight white jumpsuit (which eventually, at 1:47:06, becomes a crop top when a monster somehow slices her back and makes her entire shirt cut in half). For the next 15 minutes we then see Natalie portman running around in a white crop top while fighting). We get such lines from Anakin as "I am in agony... if you are suffering as much as I am, please, tell me" and "we could keep it a secret" at 55:10 in a darkly lit room with Padme's weird black leather dress and gloves combo. (Yes, I know Padme tells Anakin she doesn't want a relationship with him in this scene, but the scene's whole function is to establish why society says they shouldn't be together, but why Anakin is attracted to her anyways, and for this Padme is presented to the viewer as an inherently sexual object which Anakin can't have which A) gross but B) fits into the whore achetype of characterization). In both physical presentation and characterization Padme flips to the other end of the dicotemy and Attack of the Clones now gives us Whore Padme. The other huge character change that happens at the same time for Padme is her ability to fight. In Phantom Menace she's primarily a diplomat; she has a few moments of sprinting around and brandishing a weapon, but she almost never uses it. In Attack of the Clones we get a direct quote from her at 1:36:00 that she's "not interested in getting into a war" and that she'll find a "diplomatic solution out of this mess". However she then proceeds to pick the lock to her shackles, pick up a gun she's never used before, and fight off not just monsters, but also hold her own with the literal jedi against the enroaching droids. The movie leads up to this scene in terms of their relationship, and when Padme admits to Anakin that she loves him too she is somehow also graced with the ability to fight. Again, I'm not really sure why; my best guess is that the other female love interests of the 90s were extremely capable women (ie. good at things like fighting and even fighting in crop tops), and that the capable women who was still romantically submissive was so dominant of an archtype it just bled into her charactization without any writer stopping to consider that she's never cannonically been trained to fight like the jedi characters and therefor should be way out of her depth in this battle. I'm all for female character who are physically strong and capable (obviously), but having her develop fighting skills as a side effect of wearing sexier outfits is very weird writing. Padme of course goes back to falling off things and needing saving during the climax of the film and indeed she'll do it again in film three, but for this moment of romantic tension finally resolved and Padme fulling moving from motherly figure to sexy love interest, she can suddenly fight. Food for thought and I'd love to hear any suggestions as to why you think it might be.

[theskyexists]

she-ra 4

the reason i stopped watching she-ra is the same reason i stopped watching the dragon prince.

the narrative doesn’t take the situation seriously. instead of leaning into the anguish of war and violence (atla, teen titans) - they make light of it. EVEN when the characters’ guardians are KILLED!!

when Angella died and they spent 2 seconds on Glimmer’s grief at the end of season 3 i was like......actually fuck this. HOW can i take any of these stakes seriously when they insist on brushing them off???

anyway just had to complain about that - especially because the start of the first ep of 4 is them joking AGAIN about something as grim as Glimmer now carrying all the responsibilities of her mother - who may i remind you IS DEAD

but catradora became canon apparently so now i have to struggle through

her aunt, her mother’s sister, is fuckin, joking about cakes, her friends are laughing at the joke. COME ON! how goddamn unrealistic and insensitive. EVEN if they wanna make a point of it - it’s silly! because the narrative PARTICIPATES in making light of the situation. if it was just the characters it would be less jarring

‘we’ll make sure this day is perfect’  WHAT? how could it EVER BE IF HER MOTHER IS FUCKING DEAD????????? AND THAT”S THE ONLY REASON SHE’S QUEEN????? ‘must be hard’ YEAH IT’S HARD - IN FACT IMPOSSIBLE. instead of pretending to be happy maybe you can show some genuine sensitivity. these people are so crazily emotionally underdeveloped my god. what age are they supposed to be? 16? 17? The problem that She-ra has (just like the dragon prince) is that there are no relevant adults. Oh sure there’s a Queen, and some Soldiers, and a Sorceress. But there isn’t a single relevant competent adult around who is concerned with running a bureaucracy or the emotional stability of children

I do like how Catra has overcome her fear of Hordak. but i think i remember being fuckin furious at her for almost destroying the whole world and hurting Scorpia and betraying Entrapta just to spite Adora. vaguely.

the rebellions problem is that they’re all extremely stupid himbos. like literally, in the whole story, only catra and shadowweaver have any smarts, while glimmer gains the ability to think during full moons on wednesdays. meanwhile everybodys is a slave to their emotions - which destroys any brain cells that shadowweaver or catra (or angella or anyone) might have managed. they could literally have killed hordak the entire time but just let him order them around because they’re so hot for acknowledgement

I’m glad Glimmer reflects my frustrations now hahahahaah

‘everyone is already acting like she doesn’t matter’  - yeah dudes, you fucking insensitive bastards

‘im supposed to take care of you glimmer’ - but unfortunately i have the emotional intelligence of a crab! FUCK!

this is another thing about this show that makes me groan. sappy quick resolutions of emotional turmoil through re-affirming the fuckin power of friendship in the first episode of the season.

also couldn’t Adora have done this she-ra stuff from the very beginning

that was badass.....miss glimmer’s other hair though. ok the emotions at that hologram and statue though...

the coolest part of she-ra for me is finding out more how the ancient systems all fit into Etheria and the She-Ras and Hordak Prime etc.

THIS IS A GOOD SPEECH. love this badass.

love Hordak getting put in his place. Love Catra realising she has power - love Hordak reaping what he sows. its unfortunate that she’s a shitty brat who JUST can’t get over her inferiority complex

if i could endlessly teleport i would do what glimmer does

also, glimmer was willing to fuckin murder catra before and she DEFINITELY will be now lol. love that for her.

why did they only introduce adora learning to transform her sword NOW ahahaha, theyve had SO MANY SCENES in which she doesnt have it and then suddenly does - and then its gone again

scorpia is the funniest and most likeable person in the whole show

they really suddenly can’t take five people on with she ra and fuckin huntara on their side??

i remember that little sadistic righteous twist in my stomach when Adora finally was like: FUCK!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Catra!!!!!!! and the stupid idiot got it

FINALLY A GLANCE AT THE PEOPLE OF ETHERIA AGAIN! i love the party sequences in this!!! the people of etheria are so beautiful! nobody ever comments on the main characters all looking plain human in contrast....

‘and i fell for it!’  yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

so first they quietly take out the guards....and then literally break open the door hahaahahahahaaha

‘we forgot the bots regenerate’ - yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

i just dont understand why they insist on making the main characters so DUMB ahahahahaah

Adora and Catra are great at hitting where it hurts. the difference between them is that Catra KNOWS that she’s hurting Adora - she does it deliberately.

wow that could be some pretty angsty stuff constantly leaving her to struggle on the floor while painfully electrocuted. Catra has also moved to kill Adora straight up so many times. im sure she really wants to (but it would destroy her later). But now, Adora swept something at Catra that might have actually killed her. I get Catra though, I would’t want to get beaten by some blonde, blue-eyed, glowing golden kid who always gets to win and do better. this is truly the first time Adora has moved to kill Catra......

does flatterina not have parents who’d be like: uhhhhh maybe leave the soldiering for a couple more years?

catra truly burning all her bridges. hahaha. it’s so satisfying to see her use her anger and power to truly destroy herself - because of guilt!

no other villagers were like - HMMMMMMM this random new kid is here? weird..... i didnt see that coming either.

Adora doesn’t think about what Catra might have even been doing there - cos she’s DUMB AS BRICKS

the interesting thing about this show is that they’re setting up a dichotomy. they’re treating war like a high-stakes game because they have the good side adhere to an aesthetic of ....magic. they will not make the two sides equivalent in any way - which makes questions of morality moot. the show is purely an emotional drama. the horde is an army of brainwashed kids in an industrial wasteland - they fight with tech and guns. but the good guys cannot fight with an army or tech, they fight with cleverness and magic. they’re called the ‘rebellion’ - they HAVE to be underdogs because they have to follow the script of good - even though what’s really going on is war, not a rebellion. That’s why they have a single strike team that do ‘missions’. They are presented as FUNDAMENTALLY different - on the level of identity which they cannot change lest they destroy themselves - and in that way the good guys can never become the bad guys. it is ALMOST meta. think they’re gonna do something with that at one point. i hope

also Netossa has such a super cool design.

‘everyone knows you’re needed in bright moon’ - uh. really? i dont know. some random person i’ve never seen before demands you go to meetings. so? is that important? why?

spinerella can literally FLY???????? why has she been in the background this whole time??? hahahaha military inefficiency.

there was an explosion that ripped trees apart - but bo’s alive!! honesty why didn’t they try explosive suicide bots before. they’re very lucky he was still alive to heal

‘could they be tracking she-ra?’ WHAT? isn’t the obvious suggestion - A SPY???? they just assume that the general is right hahahahaa.

i love how double trouble is so meta.

actually, why wasn’t glimmer trained as a sorcerer anyway?

glimmer is upset about her growing magic plants but not her having magic ingredients

why do they present good strategic thinking (for once) as evil influence from shadowweaver

what a fuckin badass. honestly - glad that this show finally utilised glimmer’s extremely op powers like they should be. honestly, she’s much more powerful than She-Ra.

that bit with spinerella was so contrived jfc.

‘by using me as a decoy’ adora says, pissed off. uhhhh YOU went off on your own to get smushed by fuckin bots adora. Glimmer didn’t do that to you. she just used your stupidity.

glimmer really left catra to die. hahahahaa

i like adora best when she’s on her own and being a dork

they definitely managed to foreshadow that Light Hope was evil but im glad they picked up the thread now

am i seeing this wrong or did scorpia have two mums??? but also. where the fuck are they

lolololololol because everybodys dumb as bricks and emotionally volatile they’re incredibly easy to manipulate

‘i cant risk hitting flatterina’ pffft - ALL YOUR ARROWS ARE NON-LETHAL BO. ugh i cant deal with these contrived stakes

I LOVE THIS BADASS EFFICIENT HARDCORE GLIMMER

they’re really gonna spin it like this is a bad development? fuck off. finally some grit.

‘you took things way too far’ - but she got results! dumb as bricks adora

(this may seem harsh but adora is DUMB shes so fucking DUMB!!!! and she has many good qualities (such as an almost innate sense of morality) but goddamn. i guess its good to sometimes have a show about all around dumb characters. i mean, it’s not unrealistic per se, it’s just.....weird.)

the interesting thing about these characters is that you can SEE every single one of them struggling with cognitive dissonance. thats the big story of this show. they see the world a certain way - and then when something challenges that, they fight to the death to destroy or deny or ignore that new information - to everybody’s detriment. and they can’t back down because every step they’ve taken - would turn to sins they can’t live with. it’s interesting and its also a kind of conflict that‘s frustrating if not resolved at SOME point. thats why i love this season for its characters going off the rails. adora aiming to kill catra, catra destroying her last relationships, glimmer growing more and more militant.

they’re all acting like teens - that  is - highly volatile - unable to keep from provoking others or be provoked - but they ARE teens.

‘catra doesn’t care. she’ll hurt people to get her way (implied: EVEN people on her side)’ - we must remember that Scorpia was entirely fine with KILLING the trio (it was Catra that wasn’t at the time).

‘you’re a bad friend’ OH OUCH. Catra - who’s always been treated as a whipping girl by those in power - does the same to those she is in power over. But on some level she doesn’t WANT to be that. she’s just always always been rejected and take advantage of and lashed out at and abandoned by the people she considered important (shadowweaver ---- doing the same to catra that was done to her is so goddamn....it’s the story of this show. the simplicity and banality of damaging and hurting others and that carrying over to harm even more people - is the story of this show and it’s immeasurably frustrating and REALISTIC)

she still flinches at Hordak’s lashing out. but she imprints on him the exact lesson she’s trying to school herself in. If you don’t need anybody - you don’t want anyone - if nobody matters but the mission and winning - then you can’t be hurt. she wants to prove her worth - but she doesn’t realise that inherently means that she’s putting somebody in power over her - again and again and again.

mermista coming  in clutch with the braincells: there’s a spy! I love how this is played as completely implausible and just Mermista nonsense (who i love learning about) - while it’s so obviously true/

i actually love Adora when she’s being serious and heroic, or a huge dork. and she has the wit to RECOGNISE good ideas. but i just don’t understand why Adora is being big b about being used as a distraction. like....why?

i love that the underside of Mermista’s sneaker has a figure. but why the fuck is a common soldier with them (flatterina) and do they really think they can interrogate the whole castle filled with some shitty guards and...what - the guerilla troops they sometimes employ? where do they even live? ah in a tent city. ok

why is the GENERAL in front line combat WITHOUT SOLDIERS???? oh wait. glimmer did that too when she was general. lolololol

i understand why Adora doesn’t trust Shadowweaver and doesn’t want her around most of all - and Glimmer getting buddy buddy with her is hurtful. but...it’s not helpful to needle glimmer about it. but dismissing the guards around shadowweaver however? stupid of Glimmer. unnecessary. ‘what has she done but help us?’ - uhhhh she kidnapped you, corrupted your powers, almost wiped Adora’s mind. I wish Adora had summed up those things instead of leaving them implied.

so perfuma and mermista come across inconsistencies in the stories - but then. forget about it? i just...... UGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH. people really aren’t this dumb are they? they’re just NOT.

‘no more secrets and doing things without us’ - that was a good speech. but like, glimmer is right - she’s surrounded by INCOMPETENT IDIOTS lolololol. but good leadership is corralling idiots, Glimmer. not going off on your own. but she’s already planted the bait about the dining room.

‘we were the only ones who knew about the plan to take back dril’ ---- THEN WHY DID YOU INTERROGATE OTHER PEOPLE AHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA

‘stop questioning my choices, stop whining about being a decoy’ YEAH FUCKIN HELL ADORA STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING SHIT. IS THIS REALLY ‘TAKING CARE OF GLIMMER’????

‘all you do is question my authority, it’s exhausting.’ yeah god...it really is. adora needs to fucking BACK! OFF! but im loving these fights because it brings out the grievances. Adora is right to be worried about Glimmer no longer including her in her decisions. and she makes a good point that that’s bad. She makes a good point that Shadowweaver cannot be trusted. And Glimmer makes zero good points - except that it’s been hard for her and has garnered 0.1% understanding from the people around her. Oh they were working together. BUT those were definitely real grievances.

GLIMMER CAN ALREADY DO A CONTAINMENT SPELL LIKE THAT??? godDAMN. castapella completely flunked her responsibilities to Glimmer but shadowweaver did NOT.

hmmm so Solinius was....destroyed. but like, did the people die? like....the people? that’s the important bit isn’t it? i mean, they were under the sea right?

i suppose the problem i also have is that this show will NOT hurry up. normally i love filler stuff but ...the characters are too.....cheery. too flat. their quirks are fun and funny until they’re literally character flaws.

are the horde just literally attacking civilians? jezus. the war crimes. how did shadowweaver ever expect to trick Adora when she was released into the field?

‘you can’t just keep going off on your own!’ - SHE LITERALLY SAVED THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN. SHE’S THE QUEEN! EVERYBODY SHOULD LISTEN TO HER! lolololol

the problem with Adora’s points is that everything about their dynamics are always so nebulous. why cant glimmer keep showing up to help out? WHY??? she’s the most capable fucking soldier in the field! she’s supposed to have full fucking authority! like, Adora isn’t in the right here. the problem is that her needling is only a symptom of her worries - which is that Glimmer doesn’t trust her any more. but the needling does NOTHING but make her seem like an idiot

i do love this trope reversal here - Seahawk deliberately damselling them to let the princesses save the boys? pffft

love catra getting the consequences for her actions regarding Scorpia. You can’t keep lashing out at people and expect them to stay my dear cat.....

oooohhh Glimmer.... you’re treading close to very hurtful territory. Blaming Adora for the Rebellion failing? for things she couldn’t do anything about? stupid.

really?? you’re really gonna fucking fight-resolution BLOCK ME? are you FUCKING kidding me? edging me for the whole GODDAMN SEASON??? and finally Adora cries at Glimmer going over the line????  fuckin I HATE the narrative decisions in this stupid show I FUCKING HATE THEM FUCK THESE WRITERS GOD FUKCING DAMMIT!!! this has been the whole GODDAMN SHOW!!!!!! ARGHGHGHGHGHGH

i’ve been waiting for a fucking resolution for Adora and Catra the whole! goddamn! SHOW! NOTHING! else matters! you do the exact same for glimmer and adora and now you let it fester again??? because of some no-stakes BULLSHIT? just give me the fucking godddamn PAYOFF for watching these kids be IDIOTS.

this fight on the boat is COOL and really wonderfully animated

really? Glimmer’s response to Adora being hurt and not wanting to be TOUCHED is to be angry herself? what a fucking IDIOT. god i can’t stand this. I CAN’T STAND IT

is this how people act? do they never take a moment to breathe and think and reflect and realise their priorities and take a step back and fucking apologise?

jezus FUCKING! CHRIST!

‘no matter what glimmer thinks of me’ oh that HURTED. oh damn. that’s so relatable. it’s a way to run, it’s a way to internalise the hurt and then prove the things that hurt wrong. the one that hurt you

I know Bo is supposed to be the emotionally intelligent one but he’s also too soft. He should go up to his friends individually and ask them the sharp questions. not - ‘communicate more positively’.

I just like Adora so much better when she’s alone. Her friendships’ positive moments are always so sappy or so....like over-exaggerated, the negative moments always so fucking annoying. Alone, Adora is generally driven, tragic, and cool. the problem is perhaps that i don’t care for the constant fucking drama

god i LOVE Mara so much - she’s so beautiful. and i LOVE learning more about the Old Ones. So they were trying to study Ehteria’s magic.... but then Bright Moon and the princesses were already here. The Magic-Like systems of the Old Ones are pure tech.

wow! even Mara’s transformation is way cooler.

so why was the first one’s tech (she ra) responsive to the magic? why does Raz know about She-Ra? when she ra is first ones tech????

WAIT ONE SECOND. She-Ra is ‘magic’ ??? it’s the SWORD that’s the first one’s tech! She-Ra is Etheria’s magic ! but how if the First Ones chose Mara. Did they steal She-Ra from Etheria?

so what im getting is that. the Old Ones colonised Etheria. Etheria has magic, and when Mara was chosen they made that girl an elite soldier - giving her a first one’s tech sword so she could ‘control’ Etheria’s magic. Then Mara was told to study the magic of Etheria - the ship implying that she’d not been on the planet before. then they created a Heart of Etheria project - which will probably turn the magic into a weapon. this was going to be used against Hordak Prime, im sure. I mean, Mara saved Etheria, but she did doom the rest of the universe to...extinction.... like, judging from Hordak’s strategy, Hordak Prime just literally exterminates planets and repopulates them with his clones....

But why would the planet choose a girl from amongst the colonisers - twice?

OOOHHH that anguished scream. i love anguished screams

why dont they put fucking safety belts in these ships. it’s not like the ship didn’t survive. only Mara got splatted (i guess)

also i love Mara. but damn Adora just got some more shit on her plate. why the fuck was she pushed through a portal again? for a She-Ra chain reaction?

I love madame Raz.

So they didn’t explicitly use it against Hordak Prime. and it wouldn’t have destroyed Etheria back then but it will now...

guh this showmakes it so hard to enjoy catra’s pain.

well they did finally have a good talk about it. I have to say, Glimmer is making good strategic sense - it’s just that this show only rewards harebrained schemes

Catra having a crazy panic attack cos she can’t find Scorpia and she’s completely lost and she knows its her fault. kinda love that for her. my heart

my dear Glimmer, theres a difference between absence of trust and absence of agreement.

they’re bringing king micah back just when angella is dead? oh fuckin lol

the horde....exiled micah? they exiled Micah instead of killing him???

why do they ALWAYS interrupt important conversations? i hate that shit. it’s cheap. it’s unsatisfying.

now THIS is what im here for - that unstoppable WILL!! john gonzalez is right - we watch stories for characters overcomign obstacles. writing, is creating the obstacle course. .....what does that say about me and my life....hmmm.

‘light hope told me everything i need to know’ - uhhh no she didn’t. she didn’t tell you how to harness the energy at all. ugh

how the fuck did double trouble escape. seems to me that they didn’t actually. they were let go....

it’s always so stupid when people try to tell other people: oh no you’ve got no plan - this is too risky! when that’s NEVER a problem

Glimmer is going to activate the weapon just in time for Hordak Prime to use it. And naturally she misses the return of her dad. fuck this

they’re gonna have Hordak and Catra fight? hmm

Double Trouble is right - this IS good for her - and it IS Catra - except for Shadowweaver’s case - she was an abusive bitch

I love Scorpia’s new cool fight music and also glowy eyes

is glimmer going to throw herself into lava??

the unfortunate thing is that Hordak Prime is right on the doorstep and he took over the whole universe or whatever. so they could probably have used that weapon. i mean the Old Ones must have seen something coming. there must be a reason they’re all GONE maybe????

why did Adora assume that all those stars would be destroyed?

THE ANIMATION ON THAT FINAL STUFF WAS INCREDIBLE AND EPIC

how the fukc are they going to beat Horde Prime lolololol.

i guess Glimmer really shouldn’t have done that. but at least she was in time to bond with Catra.

[xtreme-icecream]

lls2 ep 1 meta recap post?

Intro: last night (oct 7, 2017, around 10pm PHT) i was pseudo-liveblogging on the first episode of love live sunshine season 2, posting caps and spouting dirt-tier memes when my good ol pal @sabraee (y’all know her as miki also check out her metapost) dropped into my dm’s, also in the middle of digesting the ep, and said to me something to the effect of “hey dude you should totally make some meta posts”

like a day later, here i am, trying my hand at the whole LLS meta talk business

yea this is a screencap from the ep and this is what my irrelevant captions look like. also, sunrise visual pun! symbolic? uh yea

I’m crap at intros! hi im xtreme-icecream, known by some as nick, my only background in metanalysis posting is that one post i made last year about ep 9. join me for some serious dang nerd talk about LLS: Lyrical Lesbian Saga!

Before we begin the season I think it would be useful to bring up Sunshine’s big themes, what the story is supposed to make you think about and what drives it. From season 1 we can glean, roughly and in my crude, breezy language:

This is very important: There’s Nothing In The Country. City Folk Have It All. (Fight For Your Folks In The Boonies. No One Else Will.)

You can’t follow the footsteps of your idols if the roads have changed. Chika took a beating (in her heart) to get in her head that five years of competitive evolution and their own circumstances mean Aqours can never be μ's 2.0.

“Shining” (and what it means)

something zero to one. something out of nothing.

Sunshine is going to come back to these concepts again and again because that’s what the story is about, and we gotta keep that in mind when we analyze a storyline. What’s it trying to show us bout This Thing? What aspect of This Thing are we talking about this episode? etc. Season 2 may have new themes, probs does, and if they’re woven in well we’ll be able to figure out what they are.

Ok cool we are equipped to Dig In. The episode opens with Chika.

this paper plane is a new thing. we’ll be seeing it a lot. it means something, but a sloppy caption isn’t the place to talk about that so just remember it

Spoiler alert: It’s a dream sequence. She’s wondering what makes people shine. As if picking up right where the last season left off, Chika’s in her Mirai Ticket outfit. She’s running toward either the paper plane or the light, and as the former disappears into the latter, she laments how close she was to reaching it. Real-world Chika is crying at this point, and as a teardrop falls, it destroys the fragile glass footing of the Chika in her dream.

The fall shakes her awake, and after she catches her breath, Shiitake barks at her and... wakes her up again?

Anomaly: This is the first episode of the season. Studios typically devote a good chunk of their budget relative to the rest of the season on the first and last episodes. That said, Shiitake is not there at all when Chika falls off her bed, and I doubt that they’d make a scene transition error like that right in the start of the season. A subtle blur effect also frames the above shot with Shiitake. Maybe she was dreaming half-awake, maybe dreaming of dreaming will mean something later down the line, just. This was odd.

Shiitake aside, Chika’s dream is a very visual scene, especially remembering that the closing shot of Mirai Ticket last season was Chika running and reaching a light in the distance. Aside from the costume and the light, her outstretched hand and the paper plane will also be recurring motif shots, in this episode at least.

And the atmosphere of the dream is just the beginning.

More importantly, she’s late. 

Also in a first episode, and especially for a character-driven story like Sunshine, Sunrise wants everyone to get a feel of these girls’ characters. I will say right now that not much really happens in the first episode this time around, and if I’m right, it will because the plot was right up there with character establishment when it came to their first episode goals.

In a nice example of this, right off the bat we can see Mari, Dia and Kanan’s dynamic as Fiery Responsible StuCo President, Prime Memer Director, and the Godsent Voice of Calm and Reason, respectively. This is easy mode, though, cause it’s one of the most vivid, natural... organic... free-range character dynamics in Aqours.

Also exposited in this scene are the following: new season (term), chika’s Still late, and they lost the regional prelims (the participation prizes were ridiculous i love it). Mari overhears the first years talking about this and tells everyone to shut up in English because the next Love Live is now right around the corner!

And then Chika arrives and answers the question on everyone’s minds: Are they up for the next one?

Heck Yeah Boi

this shot is a fav of mine because not only did they dedicate time and effort into designing 6 classes’ worth of girls to keep the consistency when they strike this cute formation, but also because you can see the symptoms of Uranohoshi’s fatal and terminal disease right there. Aqours is about a fifth of the whole student body, and there’s a steep, steady decline in new students when you look at how many first, second, and third years we have here.

Back to the story, note that Chika’s idea of the future sounds like this right now: enter Love Live, do awesome, save the school and then Shine the best they can. Oh Chika.

And now, the fresh new OP.

Okay as visual I am when it comes to these things, there’s not much to pick apart here. I could gush plenty about how Sunrise has evolved with their production and talk about the choreo, but that’s not what the post is about. The two caps above are the only two really (immediately) noteworthy things there that might have more meaning than ‘damn does this look cool or what’

The girls running to the light and the paper plane, and the third years’ fountain. (The latter strikes me as an ‘aw look that’s their Spot look how they’ve grown’ kind of thing.)

Don’t ask me about the song lyrics, i dont know

Back to Plot

can i just say!! i loved it when she said ‘that was perfect, zura’. idk why i cant even tell if she was sarcastic or not but ruby is cheering! her! on!!

Practice time! We see Yoshiko make her first chuuni excuse of the season and that Hanamaru is not really that athletic. Ruby is an angel. Character establishment enough.

While discussing the future of Aqours’ course, Dia brings up, in a very smart and opportunistic way (inspired by μ's? maybe), that the open house is coming up soon and it would be a great place to have a little performance. Chika is totally behind this, and now that’s the plan, team.

Meanwhile, Mari gets an ominous phone call...

no one even Looks at this. no one at all.

Aqours hangs out at the bus stop and find their newest dilemma: the open house is fast approaching and the season is cutting their already short practice times even shorter. they don’t mull over it very long because Chika has Got this guys.

Also in this scene, there’s a pretty notable chunk of time devoted to Riko explaining her mom’s newfound friendship with Yoshiko’s mom and teasing Yoshiko over Her Dark Past as a Young Fiendling. I haven’t figured out the purpose of this scene, because we get a split-second look at Yoshiko’s room later in the episode anyway if that’s what they want to show, and her streaming thing doesn’t need this much time to bring up. I suspect they’re setting up for a future plot development (cool), but either way, this is a good piece of character development.

Another thing that took an unusually big amount of time is the shot of Kanan noticing something wrong with Mari. I swear it’s five seconds longer than it needs to be, and five seconds for an anime reaction shot is A Lot.

Dia, for some reason, notices much later. Not in this scene.

What comes of all this is a little later. First, the Beach

Motha Fokin Parallelism

Yeah, parallelism. Riko wild introductory scene in LLS1 gets plenty of echoes here that I doubt I really need to provide pics for. Do the events in the scene and the dialogue do the same, though?

(It can’t, because in Riko’s version the dialogue was “oh my god she’s going to die” “*determined yelling” and “stop, you’ll die”)

Here Chika discusses with Riko how, even if it was just for a second, singing with everyone (in their last performance last season, I take it) helped her understand what it means to shine. (This is odd because last episode they had a whole play? about figuring that out. Did she forget or something? More on that later.) After this she does the baffling thing of running down the pear and jumping off it.

Now it’s not exact, but this I believe counts as parallelism, too.

top: chika in this scene | bottom: chika in the dream earlier this episode

Here’s where I, too, reach, trying to figure out why Chika even did that. The shot above is meant to bring to mind that same motion in Chika’s dream, and lights in this episode Mean something. Her goal, I guess. Shining again. The distance of the hand to the camera in the above shot and the softer lighting makes the goal seem much closer, and Chika is talking about when she started to understand what shining was all about.

When Chika runs off the pier this scene, she’s remembering and trying to relive what she did in the dream (which is totally a Chika thing, imo). She runs off the pier for inspiration, trying to understand a bit more, which is just the same reason Riko ran off the pier when she did it last season.

So yeah! Dialogue Does Not echo, but the uhh cinematography and the reasons behind the characters actions Do. In this scene we see the parts of Riko that Chika has adopted. Another scene later shows the other half.

Also of note, this is just a thing I personally enjoyed, but if you try to match up parts of the dream and this pier scene with each other, Riko catching Chika more or less matches up with where the glass floor breaking was.

Not all of this really comes to the casual viewer, though. If I had to do mental gymnastics to make sense of everything then it lacks flow and cohesiveness. In fact, my interpretation might even be wrong, and in that case, I really don’t understand what all these odd shot decisions mean. 

Speaking of decisions...

For the first time in Love Live history, a dude has some major bearing on the plot! Whatever Mari hears, it’s bad, probably has to do with the school (because what else does she have) and she’s just feeling Awful about it.

(Wonder why her dad, a hotel+resort guy, calling the shots for some school. His money i guess)

Just in time, a familiar light glints off the end of the pier. Kanan, who apparently is afraid of dropping her phone in the water while jetskiing, would like a word with Mari.

She cuts to the chase. What happened?

Mari tries to avoid answering the question. This happens.

Which is totally unnecessary and very extra of Kanan tbh but im quite sure it was appreciated. They needed a hook for their first trailer. Also apparently Kanan does something like this often enough to know how much Mari weighs. (Sunrise thinks theyre so slick with what ships they back. No this is probably the gayest thing ever.) Also, she threatens to sue Mari again. I really wonder why her go-to threat is with lawsuits.

Now that Mari can’t escape, Kanan pries the answer out of her, and Mari kind of just. Crumbles right there. 

We don’t learn yet what was wrong.

The next day, they’re still figuring out where to practice. While we see Maru do a spook and the mess in Yoshiko’s room (the numazu gamers mascot, whom i love, cameos), Dia finally notices something suspicious about Mari (and Kanan). It’s really so weird how the student council president, Mari’s other best friend, the other thoughtful mom friend in the team, takes a hint so late isn’t immediately told about the open campus issue. On one hand, Mari really doesn’t want to break it to her, but on the other, I don’t think Dia’s this slow about things like this. 

When she learns about what’s going on, she gives a very gentle buu-buu, though and her expression is really soft. There’s lots of kinds of love and this is one of them. She seems to understand.

All that said, though, to be blunt, when it comes to things like this, Sunrise constantly gives Dia the short end of the stick when it comes to serious third-year matters, and even their relationship. Her learning about the open house cancellation feels like a formality. Aside from an upset that can be resolved in like two lines, we'd have lost no development had Dia not been informed. It becomes more and more difficult to believe that Kanan and Dia have equal footing as Mari’s friend as they keep this up.

look at the in the background all sad and blurry. dam

The scene cuts to their new practice area, probably also based on a real-world location in Numazu. You’s dad’s friend rented it out, but it’s not being used right now so they’re free to practice there (and it’s really awesome because uh Mirrors dude). In the process, we are reminded that Yo’s dad is a sailor.

After some totally appropriate gushing over the new practice area, and before they can waste their time on a performance they’re not even going to do, The Truth Come Out: Uranohoshi’s open campus is canceled on the grounds that they won’t be accepting any new applicants next year. It’s dead.

Miki’s post mentioned the impact this news could’ve had is dampened because the info that matters here (no future applicants ever) is stated second, and after a commercial break at that. I agree. Just a few seconds could’ve been spared to say the whole thing.

Despite Chika’s best and most daring efforts, it’s just made out that it’s final. Mari’s efforts as Director, their efforts as idols, everything they’ve done -- it didn’t change anything. Mari, understandably, having given up her future for this, is the most sorry.

I have a lot of thoughts about Mari but i’ll get to them some other time maybe

When you compare how μ's and Aqours started, there might not have been a chance from the beginning. It’s been said time and time again: μ's had people, the city, and less competition. Akiba was right next door. Aqours had none of that, and their threat of school closure had been looming overhead much longer. You could say not that they’ve just had it coming. 

Here’s the thing: Last season, last episode, shining was all about enjoying yourself no matter what crap comes along. Aqours (Chika’s) wasn’t even founded to save the school at first, and we already know they’ve ditched following μ's way of doing things. Why is this a failure? This wasn’t even on the agenda.

It all wraps around in the next few scenes.

One Billion CG Cranes Are In This Tower. not really

In the short scene following this, the paper cranes Chika gets in her room from Mu and the other ura girls drive home who she failed.

Last episode, I noticed it was kind of a Thing that Uranohoshi backed Aqours and was part of them in a way Otonokizaka wasn’t for μ's. 9 was μ's number -- μ's was the nine of them, even when Otonoki students shoveled snow out of their path and countless other idols came together to perform behind their lead.

Aqours was 3, then 9, then 9 and Uchiura, who were the 10 in their count-off. Uchiura and Uranohoshi had more presence in the narrative of Aqours than Akiba and Otonokizaka did with μ's. All of them, alongside Aqours, wanted and tried to save the school they loved and help their town.

Simply but dramatically put, μ's were leaders. Aqours are champions. That’s their big functional difference.

The scene after this reiterates how much Uranohoshi is looking to Aqours for help. What do the students think when Mari breaks the news to everyone?

They want to do something, too, of course, but they know that Aqours is their best shot. And if that failed, they don’t have anything to fall back on.

The following ChikaRiko scene is a lot like the last. The discussion is of the same topic as the S1 version; the standing party gives some words of encouragement to the sitting party, they act like a kaiju (they’re both monsters of normalcy huh), and then they talk about the future.

The end of the conversation is much more sullen, though. At S1 the kaiju ended on a hopeful note -- Chika helped pick up Riko’s mood and they talked about who they were and what drove them. A white feather was there.

Here, they both end up sitting down. They both wanted Aqours to go one, but now neither of them know what to do.

Later, Chika’s too depressed for dinner. She’s still mulling over what’s next for her.

As she reflects, we see the images that come to her mind: the Mirai Ticket performance, Mari delivering the news about Ura High, the other students, and Riko.

hey you know that thing in japanese culture where if you fold a thousand paper cranes you can make a wish? that is absolutely relevant.

She gives the tower of cranes one last, meaningful look before turning over and falling asleep.

She returns to her dream in the beginning, where she’s alone in her Mirai Ticket outfit with a paper plane and a single, distant light. The plane flies into the light one more, and Chika suddenly awakes.

And bolts out the inn, straight to school.

Where she stops in the middle of the sports field and roars her biggest, proudest normal monster roar. 

She’s going to work some damn Miracles. She has to, for everyone.

What happens after this point is pretty straight forward. Aqours is so Squad they know when their leader is going out in the asscrack of dawn to do their best inspirational godzilla impression.

And they’re All gonna make miracles happen. None of them are going to give up. It’s the most zero to one thing ever.

Sunrise! First light of the day, last light of this episode, and a great image to close on. It’s the go-to symbol for hope and beginnings, and even more relevant here after all the light-chasing Chika’s done.

Chika’s not done, though. 

She get up on the bars, states her plans loud and clear, and catches a paper plane fly past her into the sky.

Then the credits roll.

...Hm! I’m done! I’m not touching the ED right now because I got a nice closing mood just now.

My picking it apart had to do with it, because I’m slow to absorb some things really unless I look, but I liked the episode. It’s a 6/10 as a first episode, but as a part of Aqours story and their collective character development, I liked it. It set the bar for the scale of their goal this time around and, destroying math, made the zero even bigger.

Main qualms i have: S1 ep13′s definition of shining is nowhere to be seen despite “shining” appearing so much this ep, scene timing could’ve been a little tighter, You and Ruby didn’t really get moments, they still need to treat Dia right, and some things, idk maybe it’s just me, but they’re kinda convoluted in their execution. I needed to pay some serious attention to connect some dots this time.

As for me, though, I don’t know how often I’ll make posts like these, I’m a very slow worker. Maybe some episodes I really want to talk about, or some topics, like uhhhh Mari.

Anyway guys if you read all this, thanks, let’s have a good one! We’re in Sunrise’s questionably capable hands. No doubt there’s more angst on the way.

Feedback is 👍 and I’ll see y’all around!

(Also if fsr u got someth to say to be abt my words on ep 9 that’s 👍 too)

[localrobosexual]

so how about The Last Knight huh

HECKO I totally forgot to make that post about what I thought about Transformers 5 after I watched it whOOPS

so here they are now!! :0 it’s kinda long though. Sorry about that. Unlike my post about GOTG Vol. 2 that one time, for this one I just kinda wrote down some erratic notes about thoughts and reactions I had as I watched the movie, and then I kinda summed up my opinion about it overall down at the end?? so yeah. That’s how this one is gonna play out lol. Generalized running commentary style.

(fair warning: this WILL contain spoilers!! Like I can’t,,, , talk about it without giving stuff away lmao. If you haven’t seen the movie, and still want to and plan on doing so, I don’t recommend you read this!)

alright u made it past the spoiler warning so here we go!!

-  Quintessa gave me a lot of G1 Unicron vibes with the whole "I made you, you are mine to command" thing

- "Why do we tell these stories, besides the fact that dragons are wicked" girl same lmao

- I literally cannot. CANNOT. Take Barricade seriously. With those ridiculous "punish" and “enslave” branded brass knuckles. Buddy. My dude. Please chill. You're literally trying to be so edgy man just. Turn it down a notch lmao - Optimus literally didn't sound at all like himself at first?? It sounded like he had a different voice actor for those first few lines he spoke?? That was weird. It wasn't until the second time he appeared on screen where Quintessa was telling him about where the staff was hid was I like "oh wait yeah there's Peter Cullen" - the "Cybertron is coming" shot looked sUPER fake and green screened to me for whatever reason?? like idk I think it was the lighting they had on him but it was reALLY FUNNY PFFFFTT

- Bee swinging his legs on top of that roof was sUPER CUTE THANK U IM BLESSED

- Mohawk. Um. Who thought turning Junkrat into a Transformer was a good idea bc that’s literally all this dude is lmao

- What kind of name is Nitro Zeus. Im cryin. PRETTY SURE HE HAS THE SAME VOICE ACTOR AS THE ONE TIGER ALIEN FROM BEN 10??? I DON’T REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT HE WAS THE ONE THAT ALWAYS WENT "LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHIN". WHY DOES HE HAVE SHOCKWAVE'S FACE. IM SO DONE

- I like how they had the whole holoform bike thing going on?? like how Prowl's was in TFA and Arcee’s was in TFP that was neato - I WILL NEVER GET USED TO HEARING BUMBLEBEE SWEAR I S2G but the Siri voice thing was pretty funny ngl. I saw that in a trailer on instagram and didn't actually think it was actually a real scene that they kept I thought it was just made for that specific ad but nOPE IT WAS REAL LMAO - Megatron musing over Starscream's decapitated head oh my god liSTEN MAN PUT HIM DOWN DONT BE LIKE THIS COME ON - HI CAN WE TALK ABOUT COGSMAN I LOVE COGMAN A LOT I LOVE HIM HE WAS REALLY GREAT EASILY A BIG FAVE HE WAS SO ENJOYABLE TO WATCH I love how,,, ok heck I don't know this guy very well bc I didn't watch Age of Extinction but it's the green dude with the trench coat built into him,,, Crosshairs?? I think it's Crosshairs yeah but the fact that he called him a C-3PO rip off was fUNNY MAN that also got a good laugh outta me and he totally rekt his heckin finger lmao. He was rlly short?? that surprised me kinda like from the trailers it looked like he was pretty average human sized but nope he’s super short - BEE'S DOUBLE CHEST POUND FINGER GUN "ayyy my dude" THING WAS ADORABLE THANK U - THEY ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH WITH THE WHOLE EARTH BEING UNICRON THING HOLY HECK now that,,, that was really interesting. Didn't expect that. AND the whole Nemesis Prime deal?? OP getting brainwashed?? THAT'S why he's heckin evil nO WONDER MAN GEEZ I didn't think OP would willingly do all that to the earth just because. That makes me feel a lot better actually lmao - Soundwave!! Shockwave!! u guys are famous!! wow way to go im so proud of u!!!! - Hot Rod tho,,,, , oh boy he was a mess lmao. I only really know Hot Rod through MTMTE and the 80s Transformers movie so,, , not too too much to go off of, but he just was so incredibly DIFFERENT and off-putting from what I was used to that I honestly didn't like him so much?? I mean he was alright. Grew on me a bit more as the movie went on I think. He was ok. That time warp weapon thing he had was cool tho!! nice!! seemed kinda overpowered a bit but cool!! - COGMAN SPINNING AROUND IN A CIRCLE WHILE HE WALKED THE DOG WAS ADORABLE THANK U - you know that movie trope where he background music will become like a song on the radio and then a character comes and switches it off?? YEAH THEY DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN THIS MOVIE WITH THE EPIC WORLD-CHANGING ORGAN MUSIC AND I JUST. COGMAN GOING HAM ON THAT ORGAN HAD ME CRYYYYYYYIIINNG HE WAS SO INTO IT MAN OH MY GO D. I LOVE COGMAN THANK U THAT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES AND IT WAS HILARIOUS GOD BLESS - HE CAN SING OPERA TOO IM CRYYYYIINNNG MAN JUST. PLEASE LET HIM HYPE UP THE MOMENT HE'S DOING HIS BEST!!!! - THE TABLE WAS WRITTEN IN OLD CYBERTRONIAN yknow if you could get Cyclonus down there he could probs read that for you no problem. Or don't actually. Please don't drag him into Bayverse oh I s2g nevermind nevermind - HEY MAN I LOVED THAT ROBOT HYDRA WOO BOY THAT WAS COOL and it's like?? a Combiner?? but not really. Burton just said the twelve knights combined into the dragon but I doubt they can all unfuse from that form lmao it was probs just a one time thing. So not a Combiner. Still cool tho. Robot dragons. SICK!!!!!! - HEY they did the whole Unicron's a planet-eating god thing this time around too wow. Neat. Listen man all I'm saying is I glad I watched TFP and bits of G1 and that 80s movie bc if not I woulda had no idea why Unicron was important lmao. That was pretty neat tho!! Interesting. Interesting. - OK BUT COGMAN LAUGHING AND SINGING "MOVE B!TCH GET OUT THE WAY" WHILE DRIVING 200 MPH DOWN THE ROAD WAS HILARIOUS WHAT A BLESSING THANK U - Surprisingly Bee seemed to be ok in that open water??? Hanging on to the side of a submarine?? I mean. Salt water man. Buddy watch out ur gonna rust plEASE BE CAREFUL

- speaking of which didn’t they say there was gonna be a submarine transformer in this movie?? like didn’t they say that in interviews before the movie came out?? I mean. We never saw that. It might’ve been that the submarine WAS a transformer but it never spoke, never transformed, nothing. Didn’t give any indication that it was uniquely Cybertronian aside from Vivian’s magic touch thing. Idk. That wasn’t explained so I mean. Hmm.

- Cogman can make sushi!! dang!! wow!!! bravo!!! - OP'S HECKIN INTERDIMENSIONAL BOOB POCKET OH MY GO D dang wish I had one of those lmao - THAT FINAL FIGHT WITH OP AND BEE THO AAAAAAAA OH MY GO S H HECKO MAN!!!! OPTIMUS RIPS OFF BEE'S DOOR WINGS MAN!!! GEEZ!!!! what I wanna know is like since when did Bumblebee have a hammer lmao. Like,, , is it supposed to the the Forge of Solus Prime?? When did he get that?? How and why?? I don't know and it was never explained but I mean. Why tho. - OH MY GOD BUT BEE'S VOICE!! IT ACTUALLY WORKED!!! DANG!! WOW BUDDY!!! AAAA!! IM GLAD HE'S OK!!! and that's all it takes to snap Optimus outta his brainwashed phase lmao ok then. Cool. Wasn’t what I expected him to sound like either but then again I really don’t know what I expected in the first place lmao - I feel a LOT better knowing Optimus didn't willingly wanna destroy the earth like. He was brainwashed. And when he snapped outta it he felt absolutely awful about what he did. I mean it felt like that whole plot point was rushed, a lot of this movie felt very rushed, but it makes me feel better at least lmao. Optimus I'm sorry man can I,,, , give u a hug or something man it rlly looks like u need a hug - "YOU CHOSE THE WRONG SIDE" OOOOOH BOY FLASHBACKS TO THAT CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR BIT IN PRI.ME(3) LMAOOOO - CADE. BUDDY. YOU CANT JUST BLOCK A SWORD LIKE THAT. THAT WAS A KILLING BLOW DEALT BY A GIANT ALIEN ROBOT I DONT CARE HOW SPECIAL THAT MEDALLION THINGY IS U CANT JUST DO THAT LMAOOOO. And then as soon as he whips that sword out the rest of the knights are like "oh wait yeah let's stop killing this guy we're chill now let's all point out swords together" lmaooooo - Crosshairs' "Love that guy. Goosebumps every time" line after Optimus gives his mandatory speech lmAO DUDE SAME - "You were by far the coolest" alright Cogman you ruined the moment a lil bit but man I still love u hecko - OK THIS IS GONNA SOUND REALLY STUPID BUT LISTEN MAN I'M GLAD THERE WAS,,,, , a lot of hand holding going on towards the end. Like fr. Cogman to dying Burton and Vivian and Cade as they were gonna jump outta that plane onto the Cybertronian tendril whatevers. Just. Small bits of physical reassurance and comfort in times of real great distress. I appreciate that a LOT more than like, watching two characters make out right before the big climactic final showdown lmao. Thank u movie wow I really didn't expect that - SO THERE WAS A COMBINER TEAM!! A COMBINER MINOTAUR!!! DANG NOT EVEN GONNA LIE THAT THING WAS NEATO!!! - Ok forget what I said about Hot Rod at the beginning he redeemed himself at the end. I didn't like him and first but now,, , now we chill. Granted I still can't see him as being HOT ROD bc he's just so different from what I know him as Rodimus but I can still appreciate him as his own character. Cool cool. - OPTIMUS RIDING THE ROBOT HYDRA INTO BATTLE AND BLOWING EVERYTHING UP WAS GREAT. MAN THAT WAS GOOD. "DID YOU FORGET WHO I AM" WOOOO BOY CHILLS MAN!!!! - OH COME ON they still made out. Lmao. Dangit. It was inevitable but I mean come on man. Alright. They kept it short and quick thank you tho if u had to put in a make out scene at least u kept it to a minimum. Thank you. Can we get back to the robots now pls. - AAAAA BUMBLEBEE'S "STING LIKE A BEE" LINE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - that ending was pretty sudden lmao. A lot of this movie was sudden and fast. They just jump cut STRAIGHT to those credits man not even an ending panorama or clean slow zoom out shot or anything lmao - AND OH BOY THEY TEASED UNICRON’S GONNA ACTUALLY COME BACK AND APPEAR IN ANOTHER MOVIE AAAAAAA OH NO OH BOY NOT AGAIN GOSH DARN IT LMAO 

All in all, surprisingly, I actually ended up kinda enjoying it!! Like it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!! Tbh for me it might even be second best in the series!! (First being the first movie from 2008 lmao) Honestly I was really REALLY surprised at how much I didn't hate it. Like. I still dislike it to a degree because it's still Bayverse, and I probably won't watch it again unless I'm with friends (like I do with the rest of the transformers movies) but it honestly wasn't too too bad! It really exceeded my expectations as far as plot, and I wasn't hardcore cringing for most of the movie so hey that's a plus!! The movie had a lot of genuinely funny moments, especially with Cogman, which got some pretty good laughs outta me like I was really having fun at those parts!! Optimus’ absence for most of the movie didn’t sit well with me for some reason. Like it just felt strange. But it kinda had to be for the story to move forward so I guess I can forgive that lol. The pacing was REALLY whack and way too fast though. Like they were REALLY trying to cram a whole lotta stuff into a relatively short amount of time. The movie's almost two and a half hours long but it really didn't feel like that because of how fast the pacing was. Some of the dialogue felt really forced because of this issue too. It didn’t feel genuine sometimes. But that has to be like, pretty much my only specific issue with it?? surprisingly?? wow. I'm honestly super shocked lmao dang man I didn’t think I’d like this movie at all but I was very much proved wrong!! I hated those old ladies tho and their obsession to get Vivian a boyfriend and the whole innuendo thing. Yeah. No. Don't do that. Stop. I'm too ace for this. 

anyways yeah those were my thoughts sorry that was so long lmao whoops  

[antthonystark]

I don't really get why are people are mad they continuously ask Magnus for help? Clary and Jace are Magnus's friends he cares for Clary a lot and he's not as close with Jace but they've been shown to have a friendship. Also Alec is his boyfriend so?? And Clary and Jace are the main characters and Magnus helping them gives him a bigger role. And it would be an issue if he never got his own character development but he has plenty of scenes without Clary and Jace. Sorry this is a mini rant

i’m of two minds on this (surprise surprise)…..like on the one hand, it shouldbe acknowledged that magnus has had issues with people, often specificallyshadowhunters, before when it comes to being taken advantage of etc. like hedetails in his conversation with maia in 2x07. and of course, there is the important consideration of the natural friction between shadowhunters and downworlders as a result of the myriad problems with their society. i guess when it comes down to it, im not a fan ofthe “poor beleaguered magnus vs. evil selfish shadowhunters” narrative,but i also dont buy the whole “everything between everyone is a-okay and happy and love”either? like with the vast majority of things, the actual truth is probablysomewhere in between. 

so turns out i had lot more to say about this that i … .may be thought… anyway under the cut

the reasonwhy im not a fan of the first one (poor magnus vs. selfish meanies) is it seems to contradict magnus as acharacter almost entirely…both his personality and his power would insulateagainst something as extreme as all that. of course magnus is an extremely generousand compassionate person when he wants to be, which leads to such problems (as we saw in his relationship with camille, where he gave a million times more than he got), which does leadto issues of being taken for granted or taken advantage of like the ones he talked about with maia in 2x07, so it’s not likeit’s something that’s not a thing - it is a thing, but when it becomes thatmuch of a thing in people’s interpretations, taken that far, it justseems like it’s woobify-ing him, like he’s not a manipulatable child, he cansay no if he really doesn’t want to do something. 

but basedon that and more crucially to me, at its worst, it seems like it’s doing adisservice to magnus based on my understanding of his motivations and character, to appear asthough the only reason he would ever want to be involved in the main conflict(i.e. the fight against the genocidal, downworlder-racist megalomaniac) isthrough reluctantly helping the shadowhunters - rather than acknowledging thathe has an equally significant stake in the game and that it’s not magnus unwillinglyhelping with someone else’s personal quest, but rather it being something verysignificant to magnus and his storyline as well. so it’s not always “those damnshadowhunters always asking magnus for help” but then things like stopping agreater demon or, like, preventing a war in the downworld are not just goalsfor clary/jace…..like magnus cares about the outcome of the events just as muchif not more?? so that’s what i guess i don’t understand.

like yousaid, the second magnus would not be involved somewhere where he should be,people are rightfully going to be saying that he’s being “sidelined” from the mainaction. so its this weird thing where the diegetic thing – in the narrative,magnus being asked for help – is bad, but the non-diegetic thing thatwould result from that diegetic thing not happening – in real life, important lgbt+character of colour being sidelined from the main conflict – would also bebad. like people pick and choose, sort of, what they’re going to look at only at face value in the narrative, and what they’re going to look at from a broader consideration of the real world interacting with the narrative (diegetic/non-diegetic are the wrong words but it’s late and i cant think of the right ones). so honestly sometimes I struggle to understand where people arecoming from on this issue tbh.

like,there was a gifset going around recently that was trying to, uh, illustratethis narrative, where magnus didn’t get paid for all the help he did orwhatever, where at least half of those instances he was paidand/or volunteered freely to do it. so firstly, there’s a differencebetween “magnus wants to help” and “magnus is forced to help” that ifeel like people don’t…..get…..so often. both have happened, solike i said, the truth is in the middle. but, like, people often have such a vesteddislike for shadowhunters as characters (or specifically clary and jace) thatthey project that onto magnus who, to be fair, does have a dislike and mistrustfor shadowhunters in general, but in my view clearly cares about clary and jaceand the gang as friends (harry himself said that in as many words in his lastinterview). so it’s not exactly a stretch that he would want to help them whentheir lives are in danger, to me, i guess lol? 

ultimately,i think that the most crucial difference arises in the way that one reads that particularrelationship. if you read it as magnus being superficially magnanimous andcivil while having a deeper-rooted dislike, vs. if you read it as magnus beingsuperficially disdainful while have a deeper-rooted affection. if the former,you’re more likely to be upset by the way magnus is ‘treated’ by the two mains,whereas if the latter (which is in my opinion the way the writers meant toframe it, regardless of course of how it came across to people), maybe not so much. another dimension to this is the downworlder/shadowhuntersdynamic, in that Shadowhunters often view themselves as superior in anyinteraction, which – unpopular opinion time – doesn’t apply to the same extentto clary since she wasn’t raised with these notions of superiority like theother characters, including jace, to be fair. i feel like this dynamic is more salientalso in official rather than amicable contexts, e.g. when magnus is at thetrial or strengthening the wards for Robert, but it would be stupid to say itdoesn’t play a role even in the everyday interaction between friends. so,again, it’s complex. it’s not one thing or the other, but really both, so thenreally neither. in my view.

i keepreferring to “truth” but the truth of the matter is, it’s going to dependwholly on interpretations, and i think the reading of this relationship is animportant one in the way that one views it.

alsothere’s also a difference between “wanting to help”, “being forced tohelp” and “sort of being expected to help and not really being thanked forit because he’s an established good guy™ in the show allied with the grouprather than an outsider to the group and/or some neutral figure and in film/tvthe good guys dont usually thank each other unless there’s a higher purpose forit in the narrative”

with thatlast one, i think people, maybe a bit punch drunk on fanfiction, don’t alwaysget that things in regular scripts/narratives that are even a littlebit extraneous do not get to stay in. so things likepeople barging through doors happens because the script needs fat trimmed andit’s less time consuming to start a scene like that than with a knock (andusually with a knock there’s again some purpose, e.g. alec knocking in 2x07when he normally doesn’t so magnus is by the door bc it would be an awkwardshot imo for alec to walk in and stride all the way over to wherever tf magnusis chillin to grab him and kiss him lol – similarly, there was no knock in 2x09 bc malec were over at the balcony and it wouldunnecessarily elongate the scene by having them walk over to the door to answerit etc……like im sure they didn’t think that hard about these things or theycould have done them the other way without giving 2 shits, it’s just thatnobody ever thought people would care this much about doors lol – and, in thenarrative, lbr…if magnus didn’t want someone in his house would they be in hishouse……just think about it). i mean, people don’t even say “hello”or “goodbye” on the phones in any film or tv show i’ve ever seen unlessthere’s some reason for it, so scenes with the good guys standing aroundthanking each other for helping …… i honestly don’t think i’ve seen a scenelike that that doesn’t serve some higher purpose. by that, i mean the primeexample is alec thanking magnus for stuff - obviously, the narrative needs toestablish alec as this person who cares about magnus, so rather than havingeveryone line up and say thank you, alec is the person who most often does itbecause a scene like that with alec and magnus would not beextraneous, because it serves the higher purpose of establishing a thingbetween the pair. just like clary thanking jace establishing a thing betweenthem in, say, 1x07; or clary thanking alec and being rebuffed in 1x08establishing their continued conflict that plays a role in the followingepisode; etc. like does that make sense, where i’m coming from in thatregard? like, when connection needs to be established between characters, it is – jace and magnus’s little moment ashe hands over the stone in 2x03, for example. if it’s not constantlyreinforced, it’s maybe (no shade, just a thought) because the screenwriters don’tfind the connections of friendship or at least fondness between the charactersas dubious as some of the viewers.

MOSTIMPORTANTLY, like i said before, the sense of superiority over downworlders indoctrinatedin shadowhunters from an early age is not illusory or unimportant, and ofcourse that is going to inform the interactions between magnus, a downworlder,and other shadowhunters, young or old. so again as i said in my opening statement,it’s as little a case of pure love and rainbows and sunshine as it is the otherextreme interpretation of this issue. a lot of the stuff people talk about –they have a point. often, that stuff – e.g. people calling magnus “warlock” disparaginglyas the most obvious example, but many others as well – is deliberate by the writers, because this issuebetween the two strata of the shadow world isn’t something that they ignore,since they…ya know.. wrote it in the show. however, some of the stuff peoplesay borders on the ridiculous. as usual, the golden mean can usually be foundbetween extremes.

[fipindustries]

Elevation-U2

ok, lets try this again...

i miss music videos from the late 90′s early 2000′s, they didnt only have better budget, effects and cinematography, they had a story. videos like “everybody” by the backstreet boys, or the call, also by the backstreet boys, or even 19-2000 by gorillaz, where musicians werent just singing to the camera but going on surrealist, barely coherent adventures!

Elevation by U2 is my favorite music video ever, and indeed the only song by U2 that i like, mostly because of the music video itself, and i decided im going to share the thoughts that i have been accumulating about this  for over a decade.

first thing we have to understand about elevation before we begin is that it is ACTION MOVIE™: THE MUSIC VIDEO. but the thing is that it makes no earthly sense. When looked closely the images are in no way telling a cohesive plot...and yet, and yet there is sense, not logical, no, but emotional. in a way this video manages to condense all the emotional beats of watching an action movie in barely four minutes. keep in mind that we are shown what at best could be considered a bunch of scenes that have no connection to each other at a frantic pace but our mind actually pieces it all together into a narrative, tony zhou talked about this in his video about bayhem. so without further ado, let's begin.

1) INTRODUCTION AND SETTING.

first thing we see: a plane taking off, we know its taking off because is going up the screen, we are embarking into a journey. another nice thing this does is provide a nice auditory cleanser, is a loud noise, going from low to high in pitch, much like a harp when a flashback begins, that not only wakes us up but primes our ears for whats coming, AND on top of that it quickly establishes the time and place this is all happening, present day, in CITY™, the place where all action movies happen.

we look down and we are introduced to our hero, BONO, notice how he's carryng a bag of groceries. he is just a normal man, living his normal life, going on about his normal day when a phone call interrupts him to call him for adventure. "hello, im evil bono" listen to the low, growly voice, this surely must be a scoundrel! (the fact that he had to clarify he's evil can be considered redundant, but we had to be explained that he is bono's doppelganger). "we have the edge, give us the key, you are surrounded" a threat, stakes are presented, a brother is in danger but in exchange for the artifact we might be saved from a terrible fate. and just to emphasize how dire is our situation the bad guy finishes with "and not even lara croft can save you" so that's it, the story has been introduced and all in barely 15 seconds. who the hell is evil bono? where did he come from? what are his powers and how did he acquire them? why does he want the key? and why in all heavens is he making demands to some irish rockstar? truth is we dont need to know any of this, here is the good guy, here is the bad guy, this is the conflict. our minds got that and dont need anything else to get invested. as a bonus we see some guys in military gear (we are not going to see them again until the very end of the video, they dont do anything during the whole thing) we see the tomb raider because that is where the money is coming from and we see the edge (bono's brother) dealing with his own shit, he seems to be trapped in some alternate universe composed of dismal greenscreens. the adventure begins

2) MUSIC KICKS IN

we are now introduced to the BAD GUYS, who on top of having supernatural powers, and ON TOP of the weather being awful (because we all know evilness has a direct effect in barometric pressures and levels of humidity in the atmosphere, just ask Mordor) they are also dressed in shades and leather jackets, you know who else used shades and leather jackets? bad guys in the 50's that's who, and so mightysome was their cultural impact that even all the way forwards into the 2000's we are still using their style to codify villainy. so, sure, we can see they are evil, but what are their evil deeds? how are they disrupting our nice peaceful world? simple, by screwing the the most fundamental force of reality: time.

and this is a metaphor, make no mistake.  when a terrible event happens completely unexpected it is normal to feel like "time has stopped" as the horror of what we witnessed sinks in. in here there is no need for any specific horror to happen, time just literally stops to show how normal life has been thrown out of whack, and that's whack. BUT LOOK, bono hasn't been completely stopped, he can actually stand up to the evil guy's powers, and as you can see in the shot he is decidedly standing front and center with the normal people in the background, why, he's standing in front of them, he is protecting them. because he truly is our hero. we can also see our allies, the edge is still in greenscreenland with lara, larry mullen jr is about to ride a sweet bike and looking like he means business af and adam clayton is higjacking a taxi, just to show how to the limit he is pushed that he has to engage in acts of petty crime just so he can save the goddam day. finally when elevation is said for the first time we can see the camera alternating between the good guy and the bad guy, they are competing, fighting, over the very name of the song. they are fighting for the fate of the world.

3)THE CHORUS

time starts again, our heroes are fighting back. evil bono can now control cars with his mind, we never see the car chase anyone but we know evil bono could do it if he wanted and that is as good it actually happening for us. we do see larry being chased by a bike without a rider though, and its fucking sweet.

bono is running down the streets because important things are happening but he just has to stop to check out a giraffe plushie. next time we see him he is walking along side a real giraffe. maybe he turned the plushie into a real giraffe by screaming really loud at it or maybe the giraffe is just there to show how into disarray the world is that now animals are walking down the streets.

also there is a firetruck floating and bono cant resist his impulse to bop it.

more chase scenes, the bad guy floating above the good guy to show who is in control right now. and larry performs the most confusing series of actions in the whole video.

so i just explained he was being chased by a bike without a driver, which means the bike was following him from behind but then he switches to another bike (also without a driver) that was coming towards him. then he stops the bike and from within a building another bike explodes out of a window. this makes no sense right?

WRONG, the switching of bikes shows how the tides are turning for the heroes it was a cool decisive action that larry performed flawlessly, and the exploding bike is clearly the bike that was chasing him being defeated. still makes no sense you say? but in your heart of hearts, in the dumb, stupid part of your brain that told you that watching die hard for the ninth timein a row was a good idea, it makes all the sense in the world and you cant lie to yourself.

and now the chorus starts back again because it's that time brothers and sisters, the time we all been waiting for, it's the time...

for explosions. the "OOOHS" are more frantic now, and bono just can take it any more.

it's time to unleash his full powerlevel. a sudden silence, a calm, bono has transcended mortal limitations, a taxi crashes into him and he comes unscathed just to show how powerful he is, he is basically musical super sayin. but this is merely the cal before the storm, it's time for the final confrontation.

4) THE FINAL FIGHT

our heroes are reunited at last.

yes, the fate of the world and indeed the universe is going to be decided by a battle of the bands and, full disclosure here, i love it. this is what made me fall in love with the video when i first saw it. to see the bad guys blasting soundwave after soundwave at our poor heroes while they stood defiant brought many a tear to my eyes. the bad guys are looking just plain cool, they have better clothes, better beats and those cool new floating speakers, whilst U2 only has nomal, crummy, gravity abiding speakers and expensive clothes designed to look urban and down to earth. they are still unmistakably the underdogs. we occasionally cut back to a distressed crowd just so we dont forget what we're fighting for. the battle is epic, all kinds of shit are flying around, debris, cars and why not? also elephants, the giraffes already established that wild animals are roaming the city so this is perfectly normal to us.

"the edge has fallen, this is truly our darkest hour!" both bonos are engaged in a screaming contests and for some reason they are trying to reach each other, maybe so they can start punching each other, i dont know. at one point bono throws his leg in the air as he attempts to charge a kame hame ha or some shit. but then, hark! the edge has risen again! and alongside his brother they release the biggest, baddest guitar riff ever. we see the guys in military gear flailing around, they are defeated. evil bono stumbles againts the battery, bono considers taking his jacket off but its too cold so he puts it back on again, lara croft and the edge both wink at the camera so i am to surmise that they are having sex. the day has been saved.

finally we see our heroes as they walk into the sunset whilst cars and animals are still floating around, implying that things have changed after this adventure, and the world might never be the same. the video ends with a nice bookend: the same plane, this time coming down, we are landing, our journey is over, we can go back to the real world. the end

[survivormysticfalls-blog]

Woo congrats final 3!! I think you’re all great and your spots are…. somewhat well earned! So i’ll just go ahead and address the three of you individually while I have time.

Veronica - First of all, CONGRATS ILYSM IM SO GLAD THAT YOU MADE IT TO THE END IF I COULDN’T. But, regarding your opening speech, it was really really short compared to the others and didn’t really say a whole bunch about your game. So, my question is, what aspect of your game do you think got you to the end? Was it your social game, your strategic game, your luck, or something else entirely?

Stevie - Honestly it wasn’t until after I entered jury when I started really appreciating your game. Like pretty much the whole time I was in the game I thought you had a ‘dont-give-a-fuck’ attitude and didn’t care about the game, but after reading your speech and hearing the other jurors I realized I was WRONG and I’m really regretting that I didn’t try to talk and work with you more. Also congrats on making it to the end!! My question for you is what single move in the game do you think solidified your place in the end?

Abel - WHEW ICON HELLO CONGRATS ON MAKING IT TO THE F3!!!! Honestly I’m shookt but I’m happy for you nonetheless!! Obv the general consensus around the jury is that you’re just kinda a goat and were inactive mostly throughout the game. I don’t necessarily think that, but I’m gonna give you the opportunity to show me and everyone else that you did pay attention to the game. So, my question for you is, what is one good thing and one bad thing about each of the juror’s gameplays?

Veronica: 

ILYSM TOO <3 and yeah my speech was short tru i didn’t wanna bore anyone and i got back from my friend’s house pretty late tbh bc she was cutting my hair and such so peep my new trim on snapchat soon!!! but i definitely think what got me to the end is my social game at some point i have literally worked with every single person in the jury (except jordan) and those in f3 at some point in the game. and i guess you can say my game was a little strategic in that i wanted to lay low and make it to the end. a simple strategy but one that came true. again, i didn’t win anything on my own so i had no powers or advantages to rely on so i had to rely on others and my ties with said others, and i had to also know when to cut people off like for example matthias was my duo we had a chat and everything but they are the reason i was out of the game and they say it was an accident so basically they were so bad at survivor that when i came back not only did i get to be petty and fun to try to get them out but to also just cut off the dead weight they were bringing because i wasn’t going to continue to align myself with someone with an even worse grasp at survivor than me. AND i guess i can come clean at this point but the night that i didn’t vote because i was out of town was true but i had gotten back with just enought time to vote but since i didn’t want to vote out carson because he is an ally and friend but if i didn’t i would also look suspicious to everyone else due to the fact that they were already concerned that i was way too close to carson i chose not to vote at all so i didn’t look suspicious and i didn’t vote out a friend. and basically social game was my main thing like i would like to think my slightly above average social skills is what partly helped me have 2 different people give me immunity idols in this game and ya!!!

Stevie:

First, thank you Colin! I will also have you know I can’t stop listening to Good as Hell since your video. Iconic. As for you question, solidifying my place in the end is difficult to pinpoint to a single move. There were many factors that could have gone wrong with my getting to the end. I believe that realigning myself with Veronica is the root of how I got myself to the end. I did not have any sort of relationship with her. Before we merged, I had told her that I was flipping on our tribe immediately because I was not close to any of them and I thought I would have better luck with the other people. When we merged I did not talk to Veronica too much I don’t think and I eventually voted her out. When she returned I wanted to change up my game and align with her. At this point I was closest to Richie and if he brought Veronica back, then my best bet was to establish a bond with Veronica and us three could move forward together in the game. Winning F6 and F5 immunities were helpful in taking the stress out of worrying about getting to this point. At F5 after I won immunity I gave Veronica an immunity idol because I was not able to use it. I did not know that Richie had given her something as well, but I think the gesture at least showed my commitment to our alliance. The reason why I think my relationship with Veronica is what got me to the end is because she tied the vote at F4 tribal council and tied it again to send me to firemaking to get to the end with her. It is the same thing I would have done and I believe establishing a solid alliance with Veronica is what I did at merge to get me to the end. Having an ally that wanted me at the end with them enough to give me the opportunity to fight to be here. As for Veronica, I don’t exactly know what part of our relationship showed how serious I was about the alliance but I think absolutely giving her the idol at F5 tribal council showed my commitment to our alliance. I would not say that my place here at the end was ever solidified. It was highly stringent on me winning crucial immunities and assistance from a loyal ally.

Abel:

Thanks :* First I want to address (once again) my schedule irl was HELLA BUSY. School/Work/Research/Extracurriculars. It was really hard to make a lot of the deadlines for things but I definitely still worked my magic behind the scenes and always knew what was going on and how I was going to make the end. Now to answer your question:

Andie: I think Andie definitely did a decent job at trying to talk to people and attempting to build a solid group. He was the only person outside of #Gays4Abel who tried speaking to me early in the merge and he almost forced a tie at the tribal he was voted off on. I think his issue was that he had made enemies with the more active/aggressive strategists and aligned himself with people who weren’t as solidified and more passive about this game. A self vote is what ended his game, while us 5 all understood the stakes of that vote.

Drew: MY QUEEN. Drew played a very visibly strong game and was very close to winning. That was his strength and weakness. Everyone knew he was very close to winning, making him a prime target for when shady shit went down, like Veronica’s special necklace which took him out.

Carson: I think Carson obviously builds strong connections with the people he working with and even those he isn’t (I was the exception according to his final words lol) but I think Carson was another case of not aligning with the right people, similar to Andie

Colin: Colin has an amazing personality that people gravitate to, including myself. I had always wanted to work with Colin. I think a huge mistake he made was not touching base with me right after the merge. Had he done that I would have likely stuck with him and Veronica which would have given them the numbers and completely changed the game.

Richie: Richie was a good dude that everyone loved and played one of the more aggressive games this season. I think Richie was a real threat to win until he forced that tie. It was a risk that I don’t think he necessarily had to make and it cost him.

Matthias: Matthias had a great social game. He was one of the few people from the other side that went out of their way to talk to me and make me feel included. I think Matthias often fell victim to other people’s lies. He would tell me how he thought people were voting based on what he was told and it never added up to what I knew to be true.