#dont get me started on the dt regen . glad to see the man but Hello? Hello? Hello?

[coffeeastronaut]

Insane to me that 13s finale was so bad like ik i literally quit watching during her run bc it sucked so bad but like. What. we got:

straight up incomprehensible plot with multiple irrelevant or unaddressed plot points beginning and then never getting finished or explained in any way (was was the master Rasputin? why did the plan have to happen in two different time periods? what were those two warring planets? why did we need the cybermen AND the daleks? why did the master use his big doe eyes to hypnotize those people?)

Comprehensible plot points that were botched (matryoshka cyberman, kidnapped energy source alien thing, ai holo doctor, yaz being/becoming the doctor in her own right, the doctor has so many friends forever and thats why shes a winner, master x doctor haties 4ever, yaz wondering if she’ll get left behind like other companions/being worried abt turning into them, dan leaving)

Comprehensible plot points that were stupid as shit (the master needing ace and tegan for the matryoshka.. he couldn’t have just kept it in his pocket? forced regeneration into the master so that he can wreck her reputation for some reason? siesmologists being kidnapped and also he graffitied some paintings (for some reason?) and these things are Clearly Related Duh. master wants to um, be the doctor for some reason? yeah im not touching that one frankly. the doctor suffering zero consequences from forced regeneration only to get laser beamed to death but then shes fine to like get ice cream and chit chat but she is dying. Dont think abt it too much.)

chibby coincidence catastrophe. this cunt loves to not write cause and effect lets just get lucky or slip or trip or fucking whatever. teagan slipping on that ladder so that she can get jumpscared but then it’s fine actually she can just slide away like dark souls, graham just like idk chilling and running into ace in the dalek lave pit, random traitor dalek (who is immediately killed and never relevant again???) just happens to contact the doctor just in time for the other daleks to use it as a trap????

and like on top of all this it had so many moments where you can practically feel chibnall begging the audience to get hype bc look xyz thing is here from previous thing on the show! like w/ the classic companions coming back (and i do love them! But WHERE was the relevancy beyond making yaz uncomfortable bc they both left in bad circumstances. Where was it.), or all of the doctors homies showing up to pilot the tardis with her (you WISH you were the stolen earth you WISH-), or the fugitive doctor (sorry i didnt watch that ep. but i know enough to know it was nothing more then a callback.), or seeing all the other doctors in 13s like dreamscape place or whatever the fuck (and what was the point of that? she just idk says hi guys! and then sits in there and waits? hello?), the companion support group (cute concept! joked abt in fandom for years! but so lame in execution im sorry!), UNIT being involved for some reason (this is the least egregious imo, since it slotted neatly into the plot. however since they didnt do anything other then say hey doc check out these paintings! ahhughh cybermen! it’s still stupid as shit.) ace and graham flirting for some reason???? LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT HERE. Dan leaving (why didn’t he leave at the end of last episode when he was clearly thinking about it??) like ten minutes into the episode, and the doc is like okay bye! [leaves him homeless on the street] like what horrible pacing that was. And where the hell was ryan? Dan and graham come pick yaz up and ryan is no where to be seen. Maybe he could smell the bad vibes and stayed home. Christ

Yaz especially felt just soooooo botched and shitty. As i said before i quit watching after 13’s first season, but i did catch the last five min of the sea devils and even just there it was. Pretty fucking clear that they were confessing love to one another, but we ~cant be together ever~ (says the cunt whos had countless kinda-sorta-girlfriends and at least one wife!) because itll ~be sad~ (you wish you were tenrose you WISH-).

Her competence at flying the fucking tardis, delegating tasks, planning, and executing on all of it was flawless! that’s an insane level of skill for a companion to have, only ever shown in new who with River Song, and outliers like Doctor-Donna, Bad Wolf Rose, or whatever that was with immortal Clara. To have her do all that, especially with such success… it’s crazy. Usually we only see that level of competence from ex-companions, like Martha, Micky, dimension-hopping Rose, or Sarah Jane.

Both those things said. You’re telling me. The Doctor is regenerating. So. Yaz is just. Gonna go home? What? Not even that the the doctor intentionally abandoned her- although, arguably she did- just. She’s leaving i fucking guess. For no reason? After all that? I understand it’s partially a writing thing and mandip leaving the show or whatever, but like, that was seriously the best you can do? She just dips and goes to a support group?

And that feeds into a greater problem with the episode, the idea that all of this works bc the doctor has all these friends. And then she just like. Leaves. She just dips. Hits the fucking bricks ALONE. and again it’s partially the writer swap i’m sure. But what on Gods Green Fucking Earth. Not to mention it all hinges on her having friends but none of them seem to actually like her or be friends with her. it’s like houseplants instead of characters.

absolutely a shameful end to a shameful run of the show. I really hope that jodie/13 get the chance to come back under better writers in the future for audio dramas or whatever.

in conclusion, tldr, or whatever: jesus christ that shit

SUCKED