#dont feel like researching that rn though im going to sleep
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rejuv but theyre just regular people with weird looking pets
#couldve done venam with purple hair but it wouldve felt weird with hair up melia.. and i just like these outfits of theirs the most#hapi just hates everyone but melia while sev loves all. hapi only tolerates sev#im sad melia is like the only one that nicknames all of her pokemon#theres a few other who do it but usually not all of their pokemon#almost hd ren with his weird frog too but im too tired now maybe another time#actually nevermind on the nickname one it might just be because ive only played casual like the casual i am#maybe there are more and i just havent seen them#dont feel like researching that rn though im going to sleep#nim would be the only special and cool one here btw because her pet rocks are actually her pokemon just really small#like a tiny solrock and a tiny lunatone#pokemon rejuvenation#i hve more weird animal pokemon thoughts on this but im too tired to continue and this has probably already been thought of
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Hihi my name is Rex, ima just do bullet points cause they are easier for me and also a pic of me, i dont care if you post em:)
Age:17
Gender: Non-Binary
Pronouns: They/Them
Skin Color:carmel or like a neutral tan(im just a black lightskin)
hair: changes a lot, my natural hair is a somewhat a curly shag, the color is dark brown and i style it right now by slicking down the front and clipping it to the back of my hair and then adding cute hair clips to the front. I also have shaved sides
Body type: I dont really know you to describe it but its like a chubby hourglass/thicc? I have hip dips on me though🧍🏽♀️And I have a large chest(im an O cup rn, and my back is killing me😭)
Height: 5’4
If i didnt do the best job at describing what I look like i can send you my tiktok or insta to show you:)
Personality:
MBTI: ENFP
- I am Non-Binary but i dress very feminine most of the time
- I almost always have a full face of makeup, my favorite is eye makeup and im pretty good at it
- I like to hang out with my friends a lot and can be very social at times, but then social battery runs out and im tapped out
- I take pictures of everything cause I just like having a bunch of memories
- Im always sleepy cause a I stay up super late, so sometimes i show up to school in PJS, but 80% of the time im the best dressed
- Im really into visual art. I want to be a fashion designer in the future, and I just like fashion in general
- Speaking of fashion I have a bajillion aesthetics, I can’t pick one to stick with so I try em all.
- Im a Dress to Impress addict🧍🏽♀️
- I can get pretty insecure sometimes about myself, but then 3 seconds later im like “Im the hottest bitch here” its very odd
- I have Anemia so i get nauseous and dizzy easy which sucks, I also have chronic back pain because of my chest
- I also have ADHD so i can ether hyper focus, get hella distracted and space out, or get really overstimulated
- I can get fired up about issues or stuff I care about very easily, like its a bunch of bottle uped feelings spilling over
Thats kinda it for me🫡
headcanons
🥛 akaashi i believe is nearing six foot
🥛 i think he's got nice hair lol like how does it get so spiky it's cool
🥛 he's not completely a jokester but he has a dry sense of humor and will poke fun at teammates sometimes
🥛 but he DEFINITELY treats his partner different than his friends
🥛 like he won't show up at his friends' doorsteps with a bouquet of roses but he'll do it every time you guys go out
🥛 he's ofc much more romantic when interacting with you
🥛 akaashi also has a limited social battery
🥛 granted he doesn't talk a lot to begin with
🥛 but there's a limit to how long he can spend in high energy situations before he's gotta tap out and go home to recharge
🥛 although to be fair, the battery life has probably gotten really long because of how much he hangs out with bokuto
🥛 but any time you start to feel overwhelmed before him he notices right away and makes up a nice excuse to get you both out of the situation
🥛 akaashi seems like he'd be more focused on the present and the future
🥛 but every once in a while he starts to think about his past
🥛 so it's nice to have pictures so you can reminiscence together
🥛 akaashi would be the BEST at taking care of you
🥛 he definitely gets eight to nine hours of sleep every night but he's always reminding you to go to bed early
🥛 if you're tired in school and he catches you dozing off, he'll either:
🥛 gently poke you to keep you awake so you won't get into trouble
🥛 cover your head with a jacket or a book so you won't get caught
🥛 in either case, he'll pay extra close attention and probably take an extra set of notes especially for you
🥛 although he does hit you with a "you have a problem" when he's giving the notes to you
🥛 just wants you to be healthy and staying up late is NOT good for you (unfortunately i do this too, i'm nocturnal)
🥛 does his research on anemia and adhd so he can be prepared if you ever get dizzy / overstimulated in public
🥛 always knows what to do in these situations
🥛 always reminds you to take iron supplements for anemia
🥛 in fact, he's probably got a calendar reminder set on his phone and will text you every day to make sure you're taking care of yourself
🥛 he also really likes that you have a sense of style
🥛 it makes him feel cool lol
🥛 he's really good at calming you down if he feels like you're getting a little too fired up
runner up for you was suna rintarō!
A/N: there you go, i hope you like it! i honestly had a hard time deciding for you but i think akaashi works well. i don't know much about adhd or anemia so hopefully what i wrote is correct!
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hq#haikyuu matchup#haikyuu headcanons#matchups#haikyu headcanons#haikyuu hcs#hq headcanons#haikyu x reader
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tlast post such a wholesome game long post.. AND HUGE SPOILERS
so noel and sirius were talking about the diary hhhhhhhhhhh these guys confuse me. claire definitely has some sort of history with both of them
EVIL BATH!!!!!!! day 4 lets gooooooo whahdha heck they met each other 12 years ago? fr tho. it felt like we learned a lot but nothing at the same time. will keep it in mind though HAHA THE DRAMATIC BITCHES
we couldn’t find claire or wilardo,, i really hope that theyre safe is ashe really a witch researcher? maybe i’ve just heard it too much from him HAHDSAHDSWQHWQ HE LOOKS SO GRUMPY WHILE SLEEPING
help?? we woke up a strnage place oh god backsotry moment ig.. JUST SHOT A BUNCH OF BALLOONS AND DID IT IN ONE GO FEELING SEXY oh shes actually pretty i think that the flowers at the beginning may have been her bitter thoughts or wishes maybe? i feel bad. what happened to her?? is she alright OH POV SWITCH IG
DONT DO THIS TO ME I SEARCHED IT. THE LITTLE SNRK HE KNOWS HE FREKAING KNOWS wandering around. oh gohd oh fuck i DO NOT trust this im so scared ashe’s going to go apeshit again especially after the witch’s heart talk in his room rn im totally gonna get caught. wtfwtf is his bag on the floor GRAB A KNIFE JUST IN CASE AS YOURE LEAVING WE HAVE TO SEARCH HIS BED TOO WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DOES HE HAVE IT. ASHE WHAT THE HELL. IM NOT EVEN SHOCKED IM JUST DISAPPOINTED HOW DID HE EVEN GET IN the guy’s gone fml THE WAY HE KILLED HIM SO FAST. JESUS DUDE WHY THOUGH. LIKE WHY NO HESITATION TOO. HE JUST DID IT im so done. ashe i do like you and i appreciate you but you pull some of the most questionable actions in this game (straight up murder) is this all for research or something???? messed up and the dialogue before have you done this before???? ughhgkjgw we’re back to wilardo and claire and she’s literally asking to take claire’s entire body or she won’t let them out lady i feel bad but you gotta accept when to quit CLAIRE IS TOO NICE LIKE HONEST TO GOD TOO NICE WHY DID SHE JUST PROTECT SOMEONE WHO WAS GONNA TAKE HER BODY SHE’S BEEN NOTHING BUT CRUEL TO YOU I KNOW THAT SHE HAS SAD SCARS FROM THE ACID BUT WHAT WH well it got them out and it wouldnt have been ideal if the person who created this was dead so ig it was a good move but damn claire really is just too sweet to people the demon is really pretty either way oh huh the flowers are positive now. i guess it reflects her mindset
sirius is dead zizel </3
SON OF A BITCH
WHAT THE FUCK
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literally do not click on this it is a big vent. a horrible big vent. it's huge and bad and you should never read it under any circumstances. I needed to get this out somewhere and I needed to feel like I put it out there, but I really don't want anyone to read it. thank you ^^
what I would not give to drop dead rn
i could count the things keeping me here on one hand and they are quite literally fear & venti. I hate that. the one thing keeping me hear other than my own fucking cowardice is this fucking fictional character. that's not even gonna last long. I'll move on and forget, and this isn't even helping my life. if I even live long enough it'll be the life of a burnt out failure because I couldn't be bothered- to push to do well while it mattered... and I'm so fucking scared of everything. of how my times still ticking away and I'm gonna die tomorrow from what I don't know I just know I'm going to die and it's a half day and I didn't tell my mom and I'm too scared to do it now so what will I do???? just sit in the train station until normal time to go home???? and I didn't even finish the research for my project which is graded and I've had these last two days to do that since I've been absent but the whole reason I was absent was that I feel like fucking shit and moving around makes me want to throw up and I'm so scared and I can't push myself to do it because of that so I lay there in my bed hoping that tomorrow won't come at all so this cycle finally stops
because I'm so fucking tired of this happening over and over. of getting like this over assignments. of becoming so scared I can't get up and face the day. of being scared of disappointing everyone by showing up, and being a disappointment by not coming. im so fucking tired of pretending that I'm not hanging on by a thread trying to balance everything coming and everything I've missed (by being a scared disappointment). Im so tired of taking it out on my family by getting so easily annoyed. im so tired of my family's issues and I'm tired of not having anywhere to get anything out physically and I'm tired of not being able to sleep because I feel like I'm on death row and I'm wasting my precious moments left alive. I'm fucking tired of feeling wrong and dirty and disgusting and I'm tired of not understanding myself and I'm tired of feeling like I'm faking everything I do and I'm DONE with feeling like im the one ruining everything
I can't imagine tomorrow and I haven't been able to for- for fucking months okay? everyday feels like it'll end with me killing myself. everyday starts with the moments leading up my execution
im so angry and tired and I feel like I'm just someone acting for attention and I'm trying to be some edgy anime character and I wish I could hurt myself and prove it and have real problems but I dont
and I just wanna have a breakdown and tell someone everything but I'm so scared and I don't want to be sent anywhere and I don't want help I just want it to end and I just want someone to be there and hold me and not try to help and just be there because I don't want to be alone anymore I don't want to be up alone in my bed I want to be out in the world enjoying sunny days and nights where you can see the stars and that feels so wrong to say again because it feels like some stupid fictional breakdown
i just dont want to see tomorrow but that also feels so selfish but also what if im making this all about me and they'll be fine and I don't want to leave you guys alone at least not without explanation but that'd be so wrong just to drop it to say I'm gonna kms and I don't want to leave my friends even though we don't talk anymore alone but if I just send them a message that's just I'm killing myself thatd be so fucking horrible and selfish and WRONG and I don't want to be a statistic and I don't want to be remembered the way I will be and I don't want my family to suffer and I don't want my dad to use this against my mom and I feel like such a traitor for confiding in him in the first place
in the end I just want it all to go away and I want to hide and curl up into a little ball and finally cry until I pass out and sleep until I can't sleep anymore and feel good when I wake up
....yeah
I'm so sorry I started with one thing and I spiralled out of control bdhshssh
#tw vent#vent tw#literally do not fucking read this please#im not gonna bother to tag the content under the cut but its a lot okay#personal posts and stuff idk#lumine/aether/sky rants#serious vent#very fucking long vent#do not look#do not read#swearing cw#major vent
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Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)
4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99
I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡
uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨
4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?
hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between
and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)
6 - do you keep plants?
honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )
7 - do you name your plants?
yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj
9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?
oh god oh dude you have n o idea
i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time
12 - whats your favourite planet?
oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)
19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?
okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it
22 - are you a morning person?
n o
i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful
but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am
23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?
except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest
28 - sunrise or sunset?
i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock
but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose
33 - whats your fave pastry?
and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj
either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding
34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?
awwww this is cute
okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes
46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of
what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*
47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?
huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)
52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?
the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj
but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too
as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about
59 - whats your favourite myth?
i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks
but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example
60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?
o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius
some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it
63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?
okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again
66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?
either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition
or something purple (maybe not belladonna)
83 - whats some of your favourite album art?
god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that
“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too
also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say
and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)
87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?
this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):
- the princess bride
- inception
- night at the museum
- SPIRITED AWAY
- forrest gump
- truman show
- E.T. (i cried okay)
- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)
- parasite
and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good
93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?
honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short
also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form
99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them
this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:
- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)
- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)
- tears and rain by james blunt
- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie
- almost home by mxmtoon
- anything by hozier really but shrike especially
- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)
- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)
- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers
- autoclave by the mountain goats
oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)
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Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿
hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!
i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!
the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you!
also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!
another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D.
if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job!
these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:
- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?
I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy!
- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?
kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work.
- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?
100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!
- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?
i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer..
i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.
- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?
i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus!
sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!
#anon#ask#long post#im so so sorry this is like long as shit#ill literally tell you guys everything though art school should not feel like a mystery esp if ur planning to go into it!#Anonymous
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mon 24th oct 2022 21:34pm
currently listening to Evergreen (You Didn’t deserve me at All) by Omar Apollo. i’ve had a good day. its been a calm day. i went to see Mike today. didnt realise how funny the man was. and deeping that he actually has his own News Channel/Network. like how cool can you be bro? oh my mum is calling me. she said that she went to see uncle kwesi today and that she’s in a lot of pain. i hope she’s okay though. i’m realising more and more that i do have good people around me and good friends. i think i feel fine/content presently. think its one of the few times i’ve consciously acknowledged that i was presently happy and really meant it. im glad i documented this moment. its real. its possible. i love very beautiful women. thank God for the material comforts of this life. i do appreciate them. i also appreciate the spirituality you’ve given me and people i admire. thank you for my parental figures (guides) for they’ve given me so much in my life. i love you mum. i love you dad. thank you two. i love you both so dearly. both my hearts. i’m proud to be yours. i thank God for teaching me how to love properly. im on my way there baby. now playing No Good Reason by Omar Apollo. its currently 21:55pm. i have a 10am start tomorrow. i dont wanna go in i cant lie. im not looking forward to this 10am start but it is what it is man. i kinda want to eat more food but i dont know exactly what i want. mum called me and said she loved me. glad i got that documented too. listening to Evergreen again. theres a few hits on this album i must say. its 22:10pm. i think im like 40 pages into this revolutionary suicide book. i might try and finish my first book in years. that would be something. i dont read. unless it’s a script or like doing research based things that require me to read excerpts but like any other type of reading for leisure is not me. i dont know if im reading it for pleasure as such but more so to help me go to sleep. or in some way tire me out. However, i did find myself reading it on the bus journey to Mike’s studio. so i mean maybe it was pleasure based; maybe i did derive pleasure (albeit limited) from reading. its not even that deep but fuck it lets be dramatic for dramatics sake! i love me man. Thank you God for the life i live. I appreciate it. i cant believe tipping in America is such a thing. like i cant fathom that that is an actual thing that people complain about and more importantly make a living off. like what kind of government supports that? no one should have to make a living off of tips alone. its wrong man. might go and get some chips and ribs and then probably watch something on Disney+ cause Honey is a bad bitch that remembered not to log out of her Disney+ ugh i really love that girl. put it on record that i said this. I love Honey. Ninni. im going to take this fucking ice cream tub to the fucking estate cause its a fucking cesspit of fuckery that i did not approve of.. or not do enough to prevent on time. its 22:22pm. still an hour and a bit left of my Monday. i dont really care what i do rn as long as i get some food in me before i sleep. Amen to that baby. woooooooo. alright im gonna get ready. Oh yeah i met Marcel today. Mike’s colleague. good guy. also helped Mike put up some artificial plant tiles on his wall. redecorated it a bit and viola! idc if thats not spelt right or if it is you know what i mean. good stuff man. i cant believe i know him but i do and its cool so yeah. I need to piss. Im wearing my pink socks (Uniqlo) the grey long johns (Mums) and the Lyon football shirt (blue + Josh’s) right now. listening to Kanye West - I Wonder. life is beautiful. people are beautiful. amen to my friends and amen to me for still being here. cause we all know its not easy but im here man. so amen to that baby! deuces! sign out time: 22:28pm.
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Ayyyyyyyyy time for Episode Nine babesssss hopefully its not as bad as the star wars movie
Okay, the scene of that one girl whos been helping the No Name Guard throwing some stuff into Aphs house is fine, I'll definitely have to change the order on some events though since Im assuming Aphmau is gonna see the effect of those splash potions right away now, which she cant do if shes staying in Brightport
Okay so, Aphmau cant have this convo w/ Garroth at the beach so I'll do it like this: Garroth still gets those disturbing news and he still gets worried abt Aph n stuff (at least I assume hes worried its kinda hard to tell). Meanwhile Aphmau is hangin out at the village, packing her things bc she wants to home soon. Paul accompanies her while they both go to the docks but on their way they hear a bunch of people whispering about lords being killed and all that. Paul stops and goes "uh oh, aphmau that doesnt sound too good" and she answers smth like "yeah it really does, its a good thing we wont be in danger though" to which Paul goes "Ehhh, I wouldnt be too sure about that ykno" Aphmau is a bit confused because "Im not a Lord" but Paul goes and says smth like "Ive seen the way you care for those villagers, for me, youre a Lord if ive ever seen one" Shes kinda flustered for a moment but then goes "Oh. Wait doesnt that mean Im in danger then?? Maybe I should stay here for a while" Paul agrees and tells her he knows someone she can send as a messenger so the others back home dont worry/they can maybe work something out while keeping Aph save
(The way im imagining this rn is basically like, Aphmau writes a letter to Garroth, gives it to this messenger who travel to him and gives him the letter and so on, I might come up w/ something better but thats the best ive got as of me writing this)
Zenix is doing something at the old Lord's house while Brenden works to take it down, Im not sure what I should write here bc like, Zenix is pretty clearly doing some shady shit but I dont remember anything he did or why he did it or the fact that he existed at all. So yea, maybe I'll just cut this entirely and leave it as something weird goin on in the background or I'll rewrite it when I have more context
She also doesnt get any of those potions, but they are technically free for Zenix to take now, so if that ever plays a role.......
Aphmau finishes the letter and gives it to that messenger, they have an exchange thats basically like "hey I heard this stuff about how Im like, a Lord basically and also theres someone going around killing all the Lords so I decided to stay in Brightport for now" "hello its good that you know that, Ive heard that too, deciding to stay there when you heard that was smart but Brightport is not as advanced as us (no offense) so it'll be better if you returned as soon as possible"
Im gonna research how long boat routes usually take later, for now I'll just say that between the messenger going back and dorth and Garroth n Aph writing the letters this takes like, one and a half days (bc yknow, that messenger has to sleep n eat too)
Meanwhile, Aphmau is mostly just chillin in Brightport. Shes a bit anxious bc of the whole Thing, but shes having a good time bonding with her new cat and keeping Pauls spirits up. At some point he says that he feels ready to go talk to Visher's Wife now, Aph gives him some encouraging words before he leaves and then she takes the opportunity to ask around a bit about the Lord and what he was like (i dont actually remember if that gets brought up at any point, so itll have to be pretty vague for now). Maybe she can also help w/ some issues the villagers are having so she can distract herself from her anxiety more idk
Maybe we can have a part where our villagers are a bit worried about Aphmau, particularly Emmalyn, Donna n Kiki. Maybe potentially Garroth too, but I actually think its kinda cool that so much of Garroth is initially a mystery and I'd like to keep it that way here too
Alrightyyyyyy also sorry for accidentally posting this before it was done lol
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hi pal! wow tumblr truly is the worst haha sorry you got so many duplicates last time. i'll probably sen you a bit of a longer one this time too to make up for being so MIA lately. we just finished finals week at my uni and i was so exhausted all this week. thank you so so much for understanding though im so soft :( i hope youve been doing well!! tell me all about what's new with you! angst and fluff is my fav. i honestly dont even know what my ideal design would be. i used to think maybe i(1/?)
would get my name in my mom's native language (thai) or maybe something floral? i never put much thought into it tho bc ive never had any intention of actually getting one haha. what about you? oh, writing with a friend is the best! def makes it so much more fun and keeps you on track. i love that! getting matched with your artist sounds SO exciting. and how fun will it be to see art for your fic baby soon! omg! yeah writing has really kept me here even when i would be busy/uninterested my all time fav fic ever is Just Me, You, and this Box of Matches. it's such a fun, fast-paced read. what are some of your faves? yeah teaching has been great but i was def nervous to start! im in my 2nd year of my phd rn. oh linguistics is awesome! i took a class in ling in undergrad and it was fascinating. do you know yet what your plans are for once you finish? i went straight into my phd without a gap.. i suspected (i think correctly) that if i took a gap or worked i wouldnt go back LOL for the holidays i'll just be going to visit my parents! usually we'd get the whole family together but covid, so it'll just be us. im still excited tho. plus it'll be a great break to just chill, write, and sleep ahaha! my lab is really great but i only joined it about 2 months before covid really hit so i think it would feel way more home-y if we were in person. hopefully someday soon we will be! saame haha im so introverted it has hardly changed much for me - just no more eating out lol louis' concert!!! aah its been so long since i last messaged you im so sorry! he was AMAZING though. his VOICE! esp having been around for so long, my heart was so full it was bursting. i missed seeing him more than i realized! i hope you had a really great week and now that im done with finals and grading i should be wayyy more active and chat with you so much more. thank you though for being so understanding and lovely! i'm so excited to get to know you more too. ily!! xx
hi pal!!
glad to see you back, and i’m happy you’re done with finals! i hope everything went well 💕
i’m doing good, my parents actually joined me where i live a few days ago, so we’ve been catching up! and my sister should come here tomorrow as well, so i think it’s gonna be my turn to be a bit unavailable in the next few days, sorry in advance 😌 otherwise i’m almost done with TA-ing for this term, but i’m also preparing a talk that i’m gonna do in mid-january at an online conference, so that should keep me busy throughout the holidays!
oh i love those design ideas!! but same, i haven’t thought about it that much, i guess ideally i’d like something small and cute, like a simple animal drawing or something...
i never heard of that fic, but i just checked the tags and it sounds so fun!! i’ll add it to my tbr, even though i’m hardly reading anything these days... i think one of my favourite fics is actually a zouis fic (i’m a sucker for this pairing 😌). it’s called About The Sea and is beautifully written, quite angsty as well!
yes, linguistics is pretty cool, it’s a very diverse field, and the perfect mix of science and humanities for me! but i’m not sure i want to stay in this field forever, tbh i’m kinda lost as to what to do afterwards, because i’m not sure academic research is really the way to go for me... what about you? are you planning on making a career in academia once you’re done with your phd? and do you have candidacy exams or something along the way? my ex-roommate was doing a phd in poli sci, and telling me about all she had to do, it sounded like A LOT :/
ah yes i feel you, working in person is much more fun and motivating, so i do hope your lab reopens soon!
YES seeing him was so calming and refreshing, and he sounded so good!! still can’t believe it happened, actually 🥺 what were your favourite songs from the set?
it’s always so nice to read your messages, but don’t worry if you’re busy, i totally understand!! weirdly the holidays tend to be the busiest time of the year haha
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AND YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS i think abt the obvious health risks and the research and the ppl i know and it scares me for two seconds, and then. i forget abt it. this is just me thinking abt my health now. when i went to the doctor for the first time in YEARS recently, she asked me if i smoked and. y'know i thought "hey, its best to tell your doctor the truth when it concerns your health" so i said yes and she just shamed me. like okay, this is why i don't go to the doctor. its my fault okay i get it, i know, trust me, i dont need anyone to tell me, im painfully aware.
but it just reminds me how growing up. it was hard. for a lot of different reasons. my anxiety made me physically ill. it affected my sleep, my eating habits. my overall health. i couldn't talk to ppl. and when i went to the doctor. it was always my fault. "you shouldn't be feeling this way" "if u stopped it would be easier" i was 12 !!! i was 12 and my family was homeless and they kicked us out of the fucking shelter and my dad was a fucking drug addict and wouldn't contact us for days or weeks so i had to think "oh he went too far. and now we're going to hear abt it on the news or get a call."
i wouldn't eat for days because everything i ate i just threw up. i couldn't walk for more than 10 seconds without losing my breathe, as if i just ran a fucking marathon. and i went to the doctor so many times. so many.
and only once did a doctor look at me and say "you don't need us, you need a psychiatrist. not a therapist not a doctor. a psychiatrist" and he said it so confidently i thought "finally, something's gonna happen. my mom has to listen" except she didn't.
and here i am one whole decade later. better?? who knows. because i still only eat once a fucking day, if at all. and I'm so angry and if I'm not angry I'm sad and if I'm not sad I'm guilty and if I'm not guilty I'm tired. always thinking about stupid shit. "hey if i burn myself with this stupid baby blue lighter, maybe I'll feel something that isn't any of these."
but it doesnt matter bc i don't bother anyone anymore. I'm no longer inconvenient so i must be better. i don't spend my days crying anymore. no more meltdowns for ppl to see, she's better !!!
i know it's me. i know it is. my mom taught me how to take responsibility for shit. its not the worst i can be though. i know it bc I've seen worse. in my life. in other ppls lives. here. there. but. im just one person. i want someone to support me without fucking shaming me.
i wanna tell someone the truth without the shame that always comes with it. from my mom. or my dad. or my brother. my doctor.
I'm supposed to be good. i take care of the kids. i accompany my mom wherever she asks. i help my brother and the kids with their school. and anytime I'm not good then im being I'm awful. the worst bc i couldnt spare one hour for someone else.
every instance that I've fainted (except for one) has been because i cant say no. can't tell ppl i need to stop. i cant tell myself i need to stop. can't tell them that's enough. its a joke for other ppl. "she's like a sickly victorian woman, always fainting, always so feeble." fuck you.
i was mad when i began to write this. now im just tired. i know I'm being whiny rn. I'm just tired. ill be normal tomorrow. I'm having a crisis rn. which will be forgotten soon. but come back in a couple of weeks. as usual.
I haven't been smoking outta of respect for the ppl I'm currently staying with but holy SHIT it's 1 a.m. and its all i can think abt. its only been 3 days. I'm trying to read this angsty angsty fic and i can't even get through one paragraph. i cant even sleep bc i just suck at sleeping. life would be easier if new wwdits eps released just one night earlier methinks
#monzerath rants#sorry this ones a long one#vent tag#vent#i just gotta let my frustrations out sometimes#sorry you had to stumble on it#the one time i fainted for other reasons#was at the optometrist when i was like. 16???#and they sprayed something in my eyes#no warning#just SPRAY#and i fucking fainted#like a weenie
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1, 10, 13, 15, 21, 33, 34, 41 >:3c
↠ Character Development| Accepting
1. How do they move and carry themselves? Pace, rhythm, gestures, energy?
If he’s walking with someone he matches their speed. If not he tends to walk p fast. I’m not entirely sure what it means by rhythm and energy. But for gestures? He tends to gesture wildly when he’s experiencing strong emotions. Anywhere from anger to excitement to “im crying so hard im going to puke” sadness will have him kinda flailing and gesturing wildly at things.
10. What energizes and drains them most?
answered here
13. How do they greet the world — what is their typical attitude towards life? How does it differ in different circumstances, or towards different subjects? Why do they take these attitudes, and why do they change? How do these tend to be expressed?
Ok being completely honest Asura hates life. He doesn’t.. exactly enjoy living, per say? Eh. I’ll say it outright, Asura’s fucking depressed, with emphasis on that in me prized ol’ Redemption Au. When he was younger, and being raised by Eibon he had a much better outlook on existence and his future in general. But once things went down with his lines of sanzu showing, and the person raising him became Death, Asura started to think less and less of both himself, his life, and his potential future. Those feelings carried through the years until he became a kishin. Once being revived? Look.. Asura knows he has no future. There’s even a part of him that knows he can’t win. That everything is in vain. But uh. There’s this song called “nothing left to say” and it works.. really well to explain how i imagine Asura feels, especially regarding this.
Who knows how long I’ve been awake now?The shadows on my wall don’t sleepThey keep calling me, beckoningWho knows what’s right? The lines keep getting thinnerMy age has never made me wiseBut I keep pushing on and on and on and on
This particular verse i associate really heavily with Asura from 800 years ago. He doesn’t… he’s very confused. He’s scared, and uncertain, and Arachne’s training is blurring the sense of morality that Death tried to shove into him.
Below my soul, I feel an engineCollapsing as it sees the painIf I could only shut it outI’ve come too far to see the end nowEven if my way is wrongBut I keep pushing on and on and on and on
Now this.. reminds me heavily of canon Asura. Note the italics there. Asura knows that he’s doing wrong. He knows hes fucked up, he knows he’s beyond the point of no return. But he doesn’t care. It’s not that he wants to win at this point, it’s not that he thinks “if i keep going i will win”, its just that he isn’t exactly ready to give up and just let himself die. He’s not willing to let go of this one part of him he has left, this rebellion he’s waged again Death. It’s like.. he feels like he’s completely lost himself and this is all he has left. And.. it is. But. He sees Kidd and how Death treats him, how Kidd lives a life Asura had always wanted, how brave and strong Maka is, and maybe he also keeps going because of something akin to spite. I dunno. that’s how i always thought of it and this got a little… off track, whoops. But uh.. idk how to properly explain it.
also just as a bonus
I keep falling, I keep falling downI keep falling, I keep falling downIf you could only save meI’m drowning in the waters of my soul
this reminds me of redemption asura before being. ‘saved’
15. What kind of inner life do they have — rich and imaginative? Calculating and practical? Full of doubts and fears? Does it find any sort of outlet in their lives?
.. i have no clue what this means
21. What kind of relationships do they tend to intentionally seek out versus actually cultivate? What kind of social contact do they prefer, and why?
God i’m bad w/ this question. For intentionally seeking out… he tries to find friends who he thinks he can get to trust him, sort of. People he thinks he can trust but never does, people he can sort of cling to without forming a real strong bond. But… ok. Asura. Is an attention seeker, in this way. He doesn’t like spotlight or anything like that, he hates that. But attention from friends? Having friends? He loves it. Even if this person isn’t his real friend. He search desperately for anyone who’ll pay him the least bit of attention and then he attaches himself but.. without every fully trusting them. He just searches for anyone who’ll give him any form of attention, negative or positive, and then latch on and call them his friend.
Uh, cultivating… i’m not sure how to explain this b/c i dont.. know how to explain Asura’s relationship with the people he has actually made his friend. As for social contact? He just kinda.. wants a one-on-one kind of thing. He hates crowds and hates having to actually go out somewhere crowded or loud or even to the movies or anything? He prefers to just kinda. Hang out, for lack of a better word. Or watch a movie indoors.
33. How do they learn about the world–what is their preferred learning style? Hands-on learning with trial and error? Research, reading, and note-taking? Observation or rote memorization? Inductive or deductive reasoning? Seeking patterns and organization? Taking things apart and putting them back together? Creative processing via discussing, writing about, or dramatizing things?
Oh!! Oho!! Ok ok ok Asura LOVES hands on learning stuff and that includes taking things apart and putting them back together. Eibon would teach him about certain things by letting him actually see what it is y’feel? Or with like fish and things he’d take Asura by the nearest body of water and they’d look for fish and see if they can figure out what fish is what species, why it lives there, stuff like that. Or Eibon would tell Asura ‘bout a specific species of bug and then they’d go find it. Stuff like that. Asura learns really well doing that kind of stuff. Also in teaching uh. basic math stuff? They’d use physical things like apples and rocks.
34. How do they understand the world–what kind of worldview and thought processes do they have? Why?
send help i dont understand
41. What associations do they bring to mind? Words or phrases, images, metaphors or motifs? Why?
OH SHIT BOY BUCKLE IN
Songs ( this is all i can name for rn ):
Nothing left to say now - Imagine DragonsBeekeeper - Keaton HensonSmall Hands - Keaton HensonYou - Keaton HensonSmells: Strawberries, Apples, Old items of clothing, that weird fall smell
Motifs ( i think ? ): EYES & HANDS. idk why hands though.
Aesthetics: Generally dark things, Eyes, Blood, Bruises, Hands, skulls, horror, those oddly depressing words on weird backgrounds
Words: Red.. Eyes
Colors: ^ Red & also purple for some reason?
Foods: Strawberries & Apples. Any variety, for strawberries. Strawberry cake, strawberry pies…
Animals: Cats, Wolves, DOBERMANS ( why? idk idk idk )
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5/22 thru 7/15 Plan Of Attack
Welcome to the Summer of 2017 XP (long post ahead).
lets start with math. i really thought i would be done with math class for the rest of my life in my sophomore year of college. nope. this class was available for my “level”. meaning, im willing to take this class again because im weak and the other classes seem either boring, uninteresting, or hard. im 75% excited for math because i want to make use of my pens and pencils for note-taking. when the teacher goes over stuff or if i finish problems early, thats my opportunity to doodle >X)
now for the 2nd round of Death + Dying (D+D). im saved tomorrow because the new D+D teacher is stuck in the Himalayas doing a research project. there wont be a night class tomorrow because of that. still, he left us the syllabus for this Wednesday’s class to come. while on the topic of being saved from that class, i get to go home early tomorrow and shower for Tuesday’s class and work.
im not sure how Philosophy of Love will go yet. all i know is that this class is a Writing Intensive requirement which i very much need. this will be my third attempt taking a Writing Intensive class. (the 1st was Writing Comedy which i withdrew cuz it was too difficult for me and the 2nd was Shakespeare which i ended up hospitalized). the hard part is getting to work straight after class.
for transportation needs, the dad will drive me (and pick me up?) to the Monday and Wednesday classes. i will be taking the train to downtown on the Tuesdays and Thursdays. on Tuesdays, the mom will pick me up and drop me off at Falcos. Thursdays, ill take the train back home.
Friday is my only day off D:
Now that school is starting, work will be extra tiring to balance. meaning, ill be exhausted from work while i go to school. not much time for hw (and to shower, yikes), depending on how much they will give me. i do got that huge 4-5 break in between classes on Mondays and Wednesdays that can work. also got thursdays after class too.
i want to doodle and internet too within those hours. i think i may be having a style crisis again. its very inconsistent with any utensil i use. i want to find the right combination of utensils for the JeanMarco Month event that starts on the 7th. though i dont have many ideas to practice on, ill just use the OCs as victims of intense experimentation. i have to keep on trying. i must. i should go to my “outfit feels” tag to doodle from the pics ive saved. that usually gives me a boost of drawing energy afterwards because i acquired something new. i really want that rush of drawing energy so badly.
SUNDAY THE 21ST
today was a lucky day for me to miss work in order to prepare for tomorrow. i packed up my many pencil cases, a notebook, the Jeanmarco sketchbook, the watercolors, a folder, and the doodle notebook. more things will be packed like snacks and stuff. *tries on my backpack* moderately heavy. theres a tad bit of space that annoys me between my back and my butt. i need the backpack to sit on my butt firmly because i have a big butt. idk if im even explaining it right.
anyway, i bought a bunch of new things from Jetpens that will arrive on Tuesday. it was more than 150 ive spent + the 100 bucks i paid off Paypal Credit. i can survive the week with 96 bucks + 23 bucks in tip money. *looks at my box-full of pens* i think im starting a collection of pens. *looks at the box of pens again* damn, i wish i can fit that box in my backpack. *looks at what i ordered* lots of pens. the one im excited to get the most is the ballpoint pen sampler set with a variety of sizes.
after i finish this round of One More Light, thats when ill shut down for the night. (im on Battle Symphony/Invisble rn). i wont go to sleep just yet. imma go play video games and maybe doodle some more (who knows). ok, im semi-gtg.
nite y’all
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What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face
If youre anything like me, someone who is a full-grown adult considers their body like a trashcan, then you discern the daily skirmish that is doing whatever the fuck you want while at the same time wanting to have a great person and great surface. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Governors Ball but also look 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend going through mimosas like water and gobbling sufficient food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who throws actual vitamins and minerals into her arrangement so her skin doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she ate last-place night. So heres a directory of meat you should forestall like an ex-boyfriend sliding into your DMs and foods you should embrace because theyll fasten your fucking face. Damn, Ive get bars. DONT: Devour Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even snacks canned fleshes anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird preoccupation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a cherry-red fucking flag that this child was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and stimulates your torso to hold on to ocean, which is why your face is always puffy or you have pouched under your eyes that can be seen from room, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and too be hateful on Instagram, eating salmon is a sure space to get better looking surface. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy fatties. These fats reinforce cell membranes and nourish the surface to exclude you searching fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol just because you frequently say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre boozing to purify your body are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as inferno, especially the light-green juices which is capable of have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual destruction when it comes to having clear skin. ^ I suspect every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been spouting liquid carbohydrate into their tabernacles bodies DO: Booze A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the hot tutor at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your skin. The more you are familiar. Remain away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy paunches and wont leave your surface searching more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I visualized coming. Good-for-nothing that savours this good can be anything but destruction on your person. And since Im not on my age rn in control of my figure I suspect Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which is capable of figure this fun thing called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your form. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So mostly dining ice cream is age you.* paces into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it savours health and the whole time youll be pleasing you two are dining real chocolate with real flavor at the least your skin will seem good AF and be protected against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick joke. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you also want me to commit homicide the next time someone responds everyone to a department email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my brain around because coffee is literally one of the only rationales I get out of bunked in the morning, and hence, the same reasons you get to experience this sparkling identity. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( fake information Im sure !) which causes your mas to lose water and your skin to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you require glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of boozing red-hot lemon liquid know it sounds as enticing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and holds some much needed support efforts to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the principal organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of poisons drinking on dates that objective in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have nice things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by this list. Like, is person looking at my bank proclamation and be careful to ensure that I expend a great amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel patronizes? Because Im feeling genuinely assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for days.* prays this is fake word* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id rather deprived than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the rate we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it appears miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve launched will not only give you clear/ glowy surface but likewise pushes against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To utterly no ones surprise except my own because I refuse to read descriptions written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my gaiety, soda is bad for you. And because we are drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your intestine. Likewise drinking various kinds of soda can really fuck with your scalp. Like, crusade rosacea, eczema, and acne fucking with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Likewise, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant exactly suck vodka straight-from-the-shoulder. I want to have clearer scalp , not croak. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that ogles good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my surface. About damn age. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all their own lives troubles. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you want clear skin by the time this weekend’s brunch rolls around then chug some of this and claim like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you delight is possibly fucking up your scalp and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not draw the inventory, but thats mostly because I refused to do any actual research that would support otherwise. Who says you cant realise your own destiny? Listen, if all else neglects and you have no self verify dont just wanted to relinquish your delight theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-47/
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hmm small (edit: really lengthy) rant about my life rn
I just had a week off school and it was a much needed break... I did volunteer for 3/5 of the days so it wasn’t a crazy break, since I still had quite a bit of stress about those 3 days
I am currently in that typical position of “I didn’t do anything productive pertaining to school work all week so now I feel guilty and I should stay up and get something done” but at the same time... I feel like I always beat myself up so much when I know that I was quite busy with other things, and school work isn’t always the only priority. Granted, I did watch a kdrama lol and didn’t sleep until 2-4 am on most days, while waking up close to noon.... but I feel like I needed that. I just hate how i can never fully relax but I also can’t bring myself to work... but that is the ultimate student dilemma. I wish I had better self-control and organizational skills to balance everything
On a related note, I’ve been thinking rly hard about what I want to do after I graduate from uni... I was thinking about applying to a summer internship for half of the summer, but I need a reference letter and the deadline is this week, so I feel like its sort of inappropriate to ask any of my profs at this point... I also was thinking about just bumming around for the entire summer and being productive in other areas of my life ... like I’ve been thinkin about starting a youtube channel (lol me and everyone else in this internet world) bc I’ve just been so inspired by all these amazing ppl who show their struggles to everyone and at the end of the day they’re all beautiful ppl... I really like the idea of sharing my life w all these internet friends bc frankly, I don’t really share my life with anyone irl (i know that sounds super sad but it’s true... i dont feel like im close w anyone anymore and once i graduate from uni i feel like i’m gonna be cut off from everyone I currently talk to and I feel like no one would rly make the effort to talk to me otherwise)
so idk i kinda wanted to start a vlog/lifestyle channel so I could just chat to the camera, since i rly do have a lot of thoughts i’d like to share, but i’m just too scared to share them with anyone i actually know irl. it feels easier to just talk it out to no one in particular like a diary, but then have ppl (hopefully) care about it. but at the same time there are TONS of lifestyle channels out there and i dont think i have a particular “tv personality”?
also filming those kinda videos have nothing to do w my university degree and idk i feel like.... it’s important to be well-rounded but i don’t want my degree to be for nothing, so i also have to think about what i want to do as my future career. which is really tough because... i’m in the sciences, i currently do clinical research in a lab, and it’s okay... i love the learning aspect but i’m not a fan of the actual scientific research process. i can’t really explain why but you’re just... studying something so small for so so so long and it’s hard to feel like you’re making any progress. but i suppose the beauty of the field is if/when you actually make progress and a contribution. i’m also scared about the whole competition in the field and constantly keeping yourself afloat with grants, idk if i want to dedicate my life to that. and to be honest i dont think im smart enough or that much of a critical thinker to become a researcher and get a phd, although i would really love to be a university professor (too bad u have to have a phd loool)
some other options are going to med school, optometry school, becoming a dietician or a physician’s assistant... med school is the scary one bc i always think about.... why would i want to be a doctor over another medical professional? do i actually have the qualities to be a good doctor, or am i just doing it bc of the image or the pressure? do i actually enjoy working with patients?? ofc those questions apply to the other options as well but... im always doubting myself and i feel like that quality alone is not very ideal for being a doctor. i would feel more comfortable being an optometrist, dietician, or physician’s assistant bc it feels like... even if you mess up there are still other people to back you up, whereas with a doctor, you are the one running the game. which is super important and impressive, but i just don’t know if i could handle with the stress and if i have the capabilities to make unwavering decisions. just cuz i know im so indecisive.... man. i got rejected from med school which is why im rethinking all of this. i might go to grad school next year, either in nutrition or continuing in physiology. i really like topics in nutrition and a masters in nutrition is only a year long, but i would have to find a new supervisor and im not a super huge fan of research (like i’ve said before)... but it seems better than a 2 year masters in physiology. i could stick with my current physiology supervisor, but that also means im stuck studying the same thing as i am now for 2 years. and idk if i love it that much.... agh... i dont know......... i wish someone could tell me what’s the best path... but i know no one can... and i know that no one is gonna read this huuuuuge text.... im just rambling at this point bc i have no one i feel comfortable personally messaging all of this to
being indecisive.... leads me to my next point. which is strange, but i really want to get a tattoo after i graduate. ive been thinking about what to get, and ofc, due to my indecisive nature, i can never really decide, but i think... i kinda know what i want? i just need to think of a good placement for it bc i dont want it to be visible in my every day life, just due to the judgemental nature of the field that im in right now and possibly will be in the future (eg. if i work in the medical field, i will most definitely be judged if i have visible tattoos, maybe less by the younger demographic but by the older ones for sure, and that can affect the whole patient-doctor interaction, or even interaction with mentors?) so if u have any tattoos, i’d love to know what you have (if you’re comfortable w sharing) and why, so it helps me justify getting my own lol (even though that doesnt rly make sense.. i should just get it if i want it, but im still debating)
guhhhh my brain has run out of juice and i should go to bed, im really trying to not sleep at 2 am today. i wish i could fall asleep faster. im not gonna give myself heck for not getting anything done during reading week, or tonight, cuz i know i’ve been going through some rough mental patches, but i hope if i sleep earlier, wake up a bit earlier, take back more control of my life, i can be more productive and less stressed. pls wish me luck.
i rly want... to make meaningful connections and impacts in this world.
#a#in case ya dont wanna read it all#im just basically lost at sea lol#feelin the same kinda loss for a long time now
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was tagged by @dracos-apple - ty!!
Rules: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better
Nicknames: Tasha/Tash
Star Sign: Scorpio
Height: 5'7″
Time right now: 9:06am
Last thing I Googled: Arthur Miller Tragedy of the Comman Man (im supposed to be doing work rn)
Favorite music artist: Spector
Song stuck in my head: December 1963 - The Four Seasons
Last movie I watched: well i watched a joe lycett comedy dvd thingy. i dont watch films all that much.
Last TV show I watched: university challenge or possibly sherlock im forgetful What am I wearing right now: velvety pink jumper & Nice trousers that i cant wear in college bc No Pockets
When I created this blog: 2016 septemberish?? ive had other blogs before though.
The kind of stuff I post: theatre stuff, aesthetic stuff, whatever really.
Do I get asks regularly: nope
Why I chose my url: well i had a few saved & i liked this one the best. i was so surprised nobody had taken it?? Gender: female (she/her) Hogwarts House: Gryffindor if we go by pottermore standards
Pokémon team: o. i forgot about pokemon go. i think i was the red one.
Favorite Color: dont rlly have one?? love pastels. pink especially
Average hours of sleep: 8ish
Lucky number: um??? 4??? i dont rlly think abt that tbh
Favorite characters: Trina, Jeeves, Blair Sandburg, John Watson idk i have a bunch im the sort of person who likes lots of things and flits between them all at random intervals.
Dream Job: research or something?? all i know is i want to get a philosophy/history degree & do something. i wouldnt mind media stuff. honestly anything that earns enough money and is fun enough to keep me alive & comfortable is good.
Number of blankets I sleep with: i have a duvet but occasionally ill add a blanket if its like below freezing. love living in the attic.
im feeling lazy so im not gonna tag anyone. but if you want to do it u can say i tagged u whatveerr
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What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face
If youre anything like me, someone who is a matured adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you accept the daily strive that is doing whatever the fuck you miss while also wanting to have a great mas and great scalp. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Superintendents Ball but too look 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend going through mimosas like water and chewing enough food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a new me. A better me. A me who introduces actual vitamins and minerals into her arrangement so her surface doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she feed last night. So heres a schedule of meat you should evade like an ex-boyfriend sliding into your DMs and foods you are able to hug because theyll cook your fucking heads. Damn, Ive get bars. DONT: Chew Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even chews canned meat anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird obsession with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red-faced fucking flag that this child was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always boasting about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in their own homes and effects your body to hold on to sea, which is why your look is always puffy or you have bags under your eyes that can be seen from cavity, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be objectionable on Instagram, gobbling salmon is a sure room to get better gazing surface. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy fattens. These paunches fortify cell layers and nourish the surface to impede you ogling fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol exactly because you regularly tell shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre drinking to purify your organization are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the light-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual sabotage when it comes to having clear surface. ^ I reckon every fitstagrammer when the find out they’ve been spouting liquid carbohydrate into their temples bodies DO: Drink A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot tutor at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your surface. The more you know. Bide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These the different types of smoothies are high in healthy fatties and wont leave your surface gazing more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I visualized entering. Good-for-nothing that tastes this good can be anything but destruction on your figure. And since Im not on my age rn in control of my body I suspect Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can organize this fun stuff called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your mas. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So mostly devouring ice cream is aging you.* steps into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it flavours health and the whole meter youll be bidding you were devouring real chocolate with real flavor at the least your surface will examine good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick gag. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you likewise want me to commit homicide the next time person replies everyone to a department email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my psyche around because coffee is literally one of the only concludes I get out of bed in the morning, and consequently, the same reasons you get to experience this shining identity. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( fake information Im sure !) which causes your form to lose sea and your surface to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you miss glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republicans plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of booze hot lemon ocean know it sounds as seducing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and presents some much needed support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of toxins boozing on epoches that point in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank word and be careful to ensure that I waste a large amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel browses? Because Im find truly assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your scalp and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for epoches.* prays this is bogus information* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably deprived than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the price we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it looks miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve installed will not only give you clear/ glowy scalp but too battles against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To absolutely no ones bombshell except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my merriment, soda is good for you. And only because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your bowel. Likewise drinking any sort of soda are actually fuck with your scalp. Like, reason rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Also, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant merely booze vodka straight-shooting. I want to have clearer skin , not die. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that examines good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my skin. About damn time. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all their own lives questions. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you require clear scalp by the time this weekend’s brunch rosters around then chug some of this and simulate like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you rapture is likely fucking up your scalp and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not acquire the roster, but thats mainly because I refused to do any actual research that they are able to attest otherwise. Who says you cant make your own destiny? Listen, if all else miscarries and you have no self hold dont want to relinquish your prosperity theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-43/
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