#dont ever let me in the same 5 mile radius of him
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jjanguri · 10 months ago
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my beloved rinnie why do you make ur haohao gifs so monchable 😭😭 is that even a word idk but I just wna MONCH MONCH
devi my angel i need everyone to have the urge to eat him like i do
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dyke-remy · 4 years ago
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Live And Let Die, part 4
Part 1    Part 2    Part 3   Part 5   Part 6
Description: Agent 008 and Agent 009, professional spies for the MI6 with liscense to kill. Partners in both work and love. After an agent goes missing the partners have to once more go out into the field. (It’s a James Bond AU)
You don’t need to know anything about James Bond to be able to read this fic, trust me
Note: If anyone tags this as r/mr/m I will hunt them for sport
Words: 4853
6 years ago
Remus looked out of the car window. He felt like he wasn't supposed to be here. This was the wrong place. The wrong time. Maybe he should make the car turn around.
"You still here bro?"
A hand landed on Remus' shoulder making him jump in his seat. He looked over to the driver. To Roman.
His brother sent him a smile before looking back at the road "Seriously you good? You looked like you were going to mars"
"Just kinda zoning out" Remus replied.
"You took your meds right? I don't want you nearly getting us killed because you were too busy daydreaming about Beetlejuice again"
"He's the man of my dreams Ro-bro!!!.....and yes I have taken them"
"Re-Re I gotta get you a date once we get back. I can Not let Beetlejuice be your standard of men!"  Roman playfully poked his elbow into his ribs "Hey that new Q assistant has been staring at us even since they read our files. I'm sure all it'll take is asking them out and they'll fall head over heels for you"
"They would probably only be interested 'cause of dad" Remus muttered out while crossing his arms "It's always like that. Either that or 'cause of mom"
"At least It's definitely not because of your horribly ugly monster you call a mustache" Roman got a bonk on the head for that.
"Whatever. You go and get yet anotha fling once we get home why dont you. One day you're either gonna get cannibalised or get syphilis. Or both!!!"
Roman let out a gasp "I am far too clean and princely to get syphilis you dirty heathen!!!" He smacked his brother with one arm while driving with the other.
Remus smacked him back "No-oh. Syphilis and gonorre and some weird blue stuff!!"
The smacking got more intense and the prince's gasps and shrieks of defence even louder and nasalier with every sex joke. Until he finally stood on the brakes. The car stopped so suddenly Remus had to hold himself back from flying out the windshield.
"We're here" He simply stated.
Remus let out an overly extra breathe of relief "Finally! Thought my skin was gonna rot off my bones before we got here!"
Roman leaned back and took out his usual weapons from the box sitting in the backseat while continuing to talk.
"Remember: this is a serious mission! Not just some ol' dragon we gotta arrest. Army of fire breathing dragon witches levels of serious. No unnecessary fighting and absolutely no inspecting dead bodies!!"
"You know I can't promise that" Remus replied while stuffing the biggest handgun he'd been able to get his hands (heh) on into the holster stuck onto the side of his waist.
"I know far too frick fracking well"
"PLEase just say fuck!"
"No. Fuck you!!"
They got out of the car. Their feet sank down into the sand the moment they stepped off the gravel road. For dozens of miles around them there was nothing but them, sand and a few even sandier hills.
And of course the statue. That goshdarn statue.
Enfuel, a company with ties to both energy and oil distrubution, had recently bought this random piece of land in the middle of the desert. A statue was placed in the middle of it a year or so later. It looked similar to one of the old egyptic statues and when they looked up information about it all sites said it had been around for hundreds of years. Of course MI6 had satellite pictures to show otherwise.
MI6 had been keeping check on Enfuel for a while. An anonymous worker had been selling them information for months. Even without the leaked information the vast buying of land and spikes of Enfuel employees dying in 'accidents' was enough to rise suspicion.
The agents made their way towards the statue. Guns ready in their hands. No one was around. It was a large one. Over 20 feet wide and at least 15 feet high.
Roman hunched down in the shade from the statue and took out a mechanical gadget he'd gotten from Q. It was a scanner. He placed it on the ground and activated it.
"And now we wait"
"Time to rant and or infodump?" Remus asked.
"Yes but not from you. You got to infodump the last time. It is my time to rant to kill time on a mission!"
He rolled his eyes "Yeah sure go ahead"
His brother instantly went on a long rant about the local theater production he'd landed a role in. It was the first time he'd ever acted. Aside from exercising and his special interest (disney) the theater was the first time he'd ever had a real hobby. His (now ex) boyfriend had been the one to take him to audition after introducing him to (and accidentally making him instantly hyperfixate on) musicals.
"And I just can't wait to-"
He stopped midsentence when the machine made a sound. He was still happy stimming as he checked it.
"Holy zeus" He gasped out.
He showed it to Remus. The scanner had created a blueprint of everything within a 10 feet radius. It clearly showed that there was something built under the ground. There was also an entrance built into the statue.
Remus went over and clicked on a specific point on the statue like the blueprint showed. A keypad appeared. They sent a photo of it to Q. Within minutes he'd somehow been able to come up with the correct code.
He put in the code and a hidden door nearly obscured between two pillars opened up. The brother sent each other excited smiles before entering.
There was a short staircase that led down into a corridor. The walls looked like something they'd find in a mourge and the dim lights shone a cold blue. Roman buttoned up the shirt he had on that was supposed to look like the uniform many Enfuel employees wore.
"Sure doesn't look ancient" Remus muttered.
It was practically a maze of corridors and rooms. Everywhere that cold blue light was the same. None of the rooms they passed seemed to have any important information in them. Having a secret facility wasn't enough for an investigation! It was just aesthetic as fuck!
They aimleesly stumbled around for at least half an hour as they got to the parts the blueprints hadn't showed. They probably walked in circles a few times too. Roman was about to suggest they call up Q when he saw guards, armed guards, out of the corner of his eyes.
He threw out his arm to stop Remus and dragged him back to hide behind a wall. He peeked out and saw how the 2 guards were staying outside a door.
"Bingo" He whispered. He turned to his twin "Wherever there are guards are the important things"
"The juicy secrets!" Remus agreed.
The brothers got out from their hidingspot at the same time. They tried to look casual while walking up to the guards. Right when one of the guards moved to stop them, to ask who they were, Roman took out his gun and shot them in the knee.
Remus elbowed the other guard right between his ribs before pulling his arm around the guard's neck. It didn't take long before he let the guard collapse onto the ground after choking him to unconsciousness.
The other guard feeble sat on the ground with their hands pressed to the wound on their knee. Roman held his gun to their head "Give us the key to the room"
They didn't even hesitate to throw the key over to Remus. They looked up at Roman with pleading eyes. With one swift kick they too laid on the ground knocked out.
The brothers pushed the guards to a good hiding spot in silence. The door opened reveleaing a quite small room but it was filled with computers, databases and of course at least 10 people working on those computers.
All it took was Roman holding up his gun to one of them to make the others freeze in fear. It was very clear that they were just doing their job so Remus tried to go as nice on them as possible when he knocked them out.
"Remind me to request instant sleeping pills from Q" He said after the last one laid still on the ground.
"Noted" Roman replied while barricading the door so no one could get in.
Remus glared at the computer with the biggest screen. He tried to read what was on it but only got a headache and some scattered words. Roman gently pushed him aside.
"It's probably better if I try to find what these guys are up to and you stand guard. Please try to not let me get shot"
"I'll do my worst! Maybe I'll even shoot you myself!" Remus joked.
He looked through the room while hearing Roman mumbling to Q about decoding and taking down firewalls. It didn't take long to realize there was actually a second door in the room. He wasn't sure where it lead but decided to barricade it as well.
"You're still free on Saturday right?" Roman suddenly asked while waiting for Q to hack into the database for him.
Remus rolled his eyes "Nah dude I suddenly got loads of friends and we're all gonna go raid a cemetery and create a zombie army. Supa busy that day sorry"
"Ha Ha" He let out druly "Well the new mission impossible movie is coming out so I kinda thought we could go see it. Y'know cinema caturday like we used to do"
"Oh yeah using our free time away from our spy work to watch a spy movie. Real smart decision Ro-bro"
"It can some other movie! I just wanted to do something" Roman slumped back against the desk so he was leaning on it "I know I've been kinda busy like whenever we're not on missions with the whole theater work-"
"Kinda?!" Remus let out a scratchy laugh "Bro you've been going to that theater like you'll turn to dust if you're not there all the time"
Roman plucked at the green bead bracelet on his wrist "Well it's exciting! I never really thought I could wokr with anything that didn't involve fighting or smugling. It's...nice..getting to do something else. I can't wait until it's time for the premiere and I'll actually get to hear the audience"
"Let's just hope no villain decides to try and take over the world during your perfomance nights" Remus joked. Roman's expression went from excitement to worry "Ro-bro I was kidding. I'm sure if anything happens I can just go with 0012 or something- or I mean like I'll come see you of course I just- It'll be chill!"
There came a silence. There always came a silence after talking about the theater thing. Spending an entire childhood learning about jewel smuggling, self defense and the innerworks of crime made any kind of work that didn't involve any of those shocking enough to warrant silence. Especially after it was Roman's idea to start working at the MI6 as soon as they moved away from their mom and the floating palace at 18.
He'd wanted to be a hero. Remus had just wanted to stay close with his brother.
"But yeah I guess I'm free on Saturday if you wanna go see that movie or whatever" Remus muttered while glancing over to his brother "More surprised that you're not busy honestly"
"Oh I was! Some friends from the theater heard I would get back from 'work' soon and wanted to hang out and I still got that guy who wants to go on a date with me as soon as possible and some guys from the Q branch asked me to test some gadgets for them. But I made sure to clear time in case you said yes" Roman replied with a smile.
"That's....That's....Ro-bro you're a sappy dork you know that right?"
"Of course! That's part of my everlasting and undying charm!"
The conversation was forcibly stopped as Q announced that the code was cracked. Roman flapped his hands in excitement to see the movie, Remus flapped back. They both turned back to what they were doing.
The duke to his surprise noticed a small crack in the wall right next to the door. He couldn't stop his curiosity from taking the better of him and looking through.
On the other side was a big room. There was a long dinner table in the middle with excessive amounts of expensive food on it. There were crystal candelabras hanging from the ceiling. The walls were white just like the floor but there were old paintings decorating the walls.
Most importantly there were 4 people in it. 3 men who looked to be at least 40. All of them were wearing suits but one of them was sitting in a chair by the luxurious table in a glistening dark purple suit. The other two were standing by the table with briefcases gripped in their shaking hands. Remus could see the sweat from nervousness dripping down their neck all the way from where he stood.
Last and least was the fourth person. A young boy, he was at the most 9 years old, sat on another chair by the table. He was holding the hand of the older man. His eyes were hidden by his hair and he had a large hoodie on.
"-So even though there has been someone selling important information about my company you two are 100% certaint that neither of you have destroyed my trust?" The man clad in purple asked.
The two men quickly shook their head. The purple clad man, who happened to be the leader of the Enfuel company, shone up into a wide grin. It was too wide. Too eerie. Not happy. Just sinister.
"How wonderful! I knew I could trust you both!" The leader took out a gun and shot one of the men in the leg.
He fell down on the ground and writhed in pain. The young boy let out a scream and flinched away. The other man bolted for the closest door which instantly made Remus take out a knife and get ready to defend Roman. But before he could get anywhere the leader had pressed a button on his chair which made all doors lock.
"I heard that the MI6 were on to us because of you fools running your mouths" The leader said while standing up. Remus nearly chuckled at how right he was.
The shot man simply cried while the other got down on his knees and begged "Please please I'll do anything. I have a family. I have 2 kids. I can- please don't kill me"
"How funny, I have a kid too" The leader held out his hand "Son come here"
The young boy quickly ran over and took his dad's hand. He was already crying. When the gun was reloaded he turned his head to look away. It resulted in the leader grabbing onto his son's head and dragging in it so he was forced to look at the helpless men, soon to be corpses. Remus could hear the boy whimper from pain.
"Do I-I h-have to see ev-every time?" He cried out.
"Until you learn to stop crying over some insect's death, Yes. These people are traitors. They're beneath us because they have hurt us. You have to see what we do to people who hurt us"
A bullet went off. One of the men collapsed dead on the floor. The other desperately crawled away until he hit the wall. The young boy's crying turned into sobs.
"You should be used to it by now" His dad said in a calm tone.
The leader forced the gun into his son's shaking hands. He held onto his hands so he couldn't let go. He moved his hands for him, reloaded the gun for him, held the gun to the living man's forehead for him. The young boy's entire body was shaking from fear. He closed his eyes. Pretended like the cold metal wasn't in his hands. Pretended like he wasn't one move of his finger away from taking a life.
"Open your eyes son" The leader commanded "You have to see. See the fear in his eyes. That is the look of a dead man. We could ask anything of him"
"I-I want him t-to live. P-Please dad w-we can send-d him to the b-bad room instead"
"The bad rooms are for those who are of use to us. This man has nothing for us"
A hand landed on Remus' shoulder. He turned around and pointed the knife at the person's neck. Thankfully it was just Roman.
"The files are all here" Ro informed while holding up an USB drive. He had on a strained expression "It's sick. Q told you they made it so Enfuel was the only company avaible for like an entire part of Latvia right?"
"I wasn't listening but probably yeah"
"They're planning to make all electricy and fuel unaviable for those cities for months. And they're going to make it look like an accident so they won't even have to take accountability. They're planning to try and completely cut them off from the rest of the world"
"People are gonna die" Remus concluded.
"Bet"
"Why the fuck would someone even do that?"
Roman shrugged "Said nothing about that. At least we can stop it if we know it will happen. All we have to do is get out of here and get it to M"
Remus was about to nod but then he heard muffled sounds from the other room. He closed his hands into fists. There was a cold lump stuck in his throat.
"There's a kid here. Like 8? 9 maybe? Being made to hold a gun" He whispered.
"Mom teached us how to use pistols at 12" Roman replied with a shrug.
"She made us shoot at targets" Their mom is a very powerful lady so they had to know how to defend themself since so many people wanted to hurt them to get to their mom "This is-"
A gunshot went off. Gutwrenching screaming followed. It sounded like it came from the boy. Soon sobbing took over.
"Don't cry like that. You weren't even the one pulling the trigger" His dad snarled out.
The brothers at looked each other. They both knew that the mission was hundreds of times more important than one kid but....with that one look they both knew they had to do something.
"Okay new mission" Remus said "Protect the kid"
They searched the room and found an entrance to the vents in the roof. They climbed in and crawled as quietly as possible until they could see down into the other room. The leader had gone back to sitting by the table, he was drinking some wine. The son was still sitting by one of the corpses. His sobs was racking his whole body as he held onto the dead body. Quiet beggings to wake up could be heard.
The brothers took out their guns in anticipation. Remus slammed his foot down into the vent panel and jumped down onto the ground. He jumped back up on his feet and held the gun to the leader's head.
Roman was just as quick with getting down. He went over to the kid and hunched down in front of him, half to comfort him and half to be a human shield.
"It's okay now kid. We won't hurt you. We'll get you out of here. I promise" He whispered to him while sending him a warm smile.
He was full on hyperventilating "No. No. Please. Get out. I don't- dad will- I don't want to have to see anyone else die- I don't want to hurt anyone- please- NoNoNoNo"
"Shhh. No one will be hurt. Just focus on my breathing okay. In and out. Deep breathes. You'll be safe soon" Roman assured. He kept one hand on the young boy's shoulder and the other hand on his gun.
Remus held the gun as still as possible against the leader's forehead. The older man didn't look away even for a second. His cold blue eyes stared at him until it felt like he was digging into him. The agent tried to glance around for a clear exit. At best he saw another entrance to the vents close to the wall on the side of the room.
"I've buried people like you before" The leader let out in a dry emotionless tone. "Even if you do get anyway it won't do much. All of the evidence will be gone except for a meek little plan I can easily manipulate away in court. You're really just delaying the inevitable"
"Not letting people die isn't doing nothing" Remus snarled back.
A smile crept up on his face "Letting people die does just a little"
He pressed down on a hidden panel on his chair. All Remus could see was that it was some sort of controller before hearing a muffled shout. He spun around in time to see Roman sitting with his arms around the kid. Blood was seeping out of his shoulder.
By the press of a button a panel on the wall had turned around and a mechanic gun had become visible, useable too via the panel. The gun head moved again, readjusting it's line of sight.
Logically Remus should have moved his gun back towards the leader's head. Logically he should have shot his brains out. Logically he shouldn't have made a single sound. Logically he shouldn't have shown any ounce of care or emotion (weakness), it'd been drilled into them during training after all.
But Remus wasn't thinking logically. His brother was hurt. His brother was in danger. He had to protect him.
A guttural sound of terror left his throat. It sounded like something close to his brother's name. He wasn't fast enough. There was nothing he could. He watched as the bullet went into Roman's chest.
Remus didn't reach him. There was a hit to the back of his head. The hit was hard enough to make it feel like his brain split apart. He was already unconscious as he fell down on the ground. He was just close enough so the blood from his brother reached him.
--
The moment Remus awakened again his heart immediately began to beat fast enough so he could hear it. He wanted to yell out for his brother before he'd even had time to open his eyes.
The fear calmed won just a bit when he did look up and saw Roman, thank god he saw Roman, laying next to him. He didn't calm down completely because his brother was visibly hurt. Hurt badly.
There were swelling on his cheeks from soon to be bruises and his right eye had closed completely from a black eye. Blood had dried around the wound on his shoulder and the one on his chest was still bleeding. Thankfully it hadn't hit his heart but it was still heavily bleeding. The kid's hoodie had been pressed against the wound. His left leg from the knee down had been mangled and turned the wrong way.
Remus had rope tied around his wrists and ankles. They hadn't even bothered to tie Roman's ankles. Even with all the injuries his twin tried to send him a weak smile.
"don't speak too loudly" He whispered out. His breathing was uneven and raspy.
Normally Remus would have screeched in defiance. Now he glanced around the room while making his every move as quiet as possible.
The leader and his son were still in the room. The leader was polishing a knife. There were multiple knives and other gratuitous tools laid out across the table. Oh god he'd only kept them alive to make them suffer until death as much as possible.
When he turned back to Roman there were tears in his brother's eyes. His smile was strained.
"I was going to resign"
Roman let out a sob as his smile disappeared. It only left an expression filled with pain.
"I-I never really wanted t-this! I just- I didn't know what else I would be. Re I was planning to make this my last mission. I don't know if I want to be an actor. But fuck at least I-I want to be an actor ten times more than I want to be an agent"
Remus tried to move closer. He wanted to reach out and hold his brother. Comfort him. Tell him half the things he said didn't make sense.
"You- What-" He let out a nervous chuckle "Ro-bro what are you talking about?"
At first there was no reply. Just a choked back sob. Roman moved closer and stared at the ropes around Remus' wrists. Anything was better than looking at his face. He moved his hands to try and untangle the ropes.
"You have to hug mom for me. And tell her I love her. And hug Lucy a-and Macey and Amita-" Roman closed his eyes, tried to force back another wave of tears "-And Everyone on the island. All of them. And the people at the theater. A-And everyone in Q branch a-and Oh god Q. Please hug Q- Logan. Hug Logan for me. Please. And Patton and M even though he will hate it. Please. I wish I'd known. I just want to be able to say goodbye at least. I just-"
"Shut up you dork. We're getting out of here. I'll just carry you. What's some old weak boned guy and some kid gonna do against us"
Roman glanced up at him, just for a moment, before going back to the ropes.
"Remus I-"
He coughed. His entire body shook and writhed in pain. He ignored it and continued with the ropes. Blood was coming down his lips. He was coughing up blood.
"Remus-"
Roman met his eyes this time. He didn't have to say anything more. They both knew it. Even if one of them didn't want to accept it. It'd taken at least an hour to drive here. He wasn't going to make it unless he got medical help within the next minutes. He wasn't going to- He wasn't-
Roman wasn't going to make it.
"You can't- I- I'm sure- I can-" Remus stuttered out.
"You need to take the information and get back to M alive" He pulled the ropes away from Remus' wrists "There's a vent right above us. The bitchass dragon witch is too busy with torture devices to look at us. If you go now you can-"
"You will-"
"Remus I'm already dead! The kid isn't being saved either! He's stuck here! We failed! The least you can do is try to stop more death!"
"But you will-"
"Please I need you to survive" Roman pressed the USB drive into his hands. His hands were shaking "I-I'm trying to stay strong to make this easier for you b-but-" He let out a shakey sob "I just want to hug mom again. I want us to-to- I- I need you to survive. I need you to stay alive. Please. If I know you survive I can attempt to die in peace. I can't- I can't-" It continued into incoherent sobbing.
They couldn't hug each other, the leader would realize they were awake if they did. All they could do was press their hands together. They held onto each other's hands so tightly it hurt. Neither wanted to let go.
"....I love you...I wish- I don't- I just want you to- I love you" Remus choked out through tears.
Somehow Roman mustered a smile "I love you too" He wiped a tear away from his twin's cheek "I'm sorry. I wish I could stay with you. Please go. Please survive"
Remus tightened his grip on his hand for one last second. He wished he could drag it out. Even Continuing to exists in this moment of misery sounded better than spending the rest of his life without him.
He forced his hands away and sat up. Heuntied the ropes around his ancles in one rushed pull. He heard a yell from behind him. He jumped up and grabbed onto the vent. A bullet went past him as he climbed in.
He continued to cry as he hurried away. He kept the USB drive in his mouth. It felt like a part of him had been ripped out. A big part. A part he needed to live.
(He wished he'd never noticed the crack in the wall. He wished he'd just left the kid to be abused. He was horrible. He just wanted his brother to be okay)
It should have been him who was left for dead. Roman had so many more people who would mourn him. He had had a future. Goals. Dreams. Relationships. Remus was replacable.
Remus pushed himself out of the vent. His lungs were burning. He was numb. There were so many emotions he'd overloaded. He couldn't even feel the cold against his skin. Only the tears against his cheeks.
He escaped the facility and ran. In the distance he could see the car. He wanted to die. He couldn't imagine a life without his brother. Roman was the one who was supposed to come back with the information to save people. Roman was the hero! It wasn't fair!
Remus wanted to stop and let the guards catch up to him. Wanted to let himself scream and sob and be killed. Wanted to hug his brother again even if the only way to hug him was if they were both dead.
Instead he forced himself survive but only because it'd been Roman's wish.
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let-me-help-you-bruce · 8 years ago
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Victor Fries X Reader
“You’re so cold” I said tentatively. He looked at me with his cold blue eyes,staring at me like it was the most beautiful thing he has ever heard anyone say. My green eyes stared into his, my hand still rested on his cheek. I had been in his cell for about 20 minutes now and could feel the cold turning my extremities numb, I didn’t have long.“Are you sure you want to do this? What if it-” I put my finger on his lips. “It will be okay Victor” I said. Frustrated he swatted my hand away from his lips. “I’ve already lost one person..” He froze ;) seeming to choose his next words wisely. “If I- I don’t know what I would do if I lost you too” My fingers slowly made their way down to the ‘on’ switch of his freeze gun with little shivers shaking my body. “You’re cold?” he said with a smirk. I nodded feeling the cold gnawing at my body replacing every bit of warmth with a dry painful feeling. Normally when he would sneak me out of my cell and into his the longest I could stay was 5 minutes, which mostly consisted of quick kisses, if they weren’t my lips would stick to his lip a tongue to an icy pole, so we improvised. An empty ache vibrated through my body It was beginning to become to much suddenly my legs gave out beneath me causing me to tumble to the hard icy floor. “Y/n” Victor said stroking my face. I pulled away fearing the burn his icy fingers would ignite on my sensitive skin. A look of pain entered his eyes at my reaction. “I’m going to miss those eyes” he said quickly kissing my lips. I began dipping in and out of consciousness fearing that it was to late and he wouldn’t change me. All of this was relieved when my blood turned into thick strands of red ice in my veins, no longer being able to keep my heart pumping. 
A cracking feeling that ripped through my insides lifted me out of my slumber. I gasped clutching my chest, letting the horrendous burning feeling take over my whole body.. “Y/n what’s the matter are you alright?” I felt two hands grab my arms and lift me up, setting me down on a table. “Y/n? You need to breathe.” I heard Victor say he was scrambling for something I couldn’t see, everything looked the same in his cell, blue and covered in ice. Weakly I reached out to him my breath seeming to escape me, my chest pumping nervously like it does when you’ve been under water to long. “Y/n breathe!” The foggy ceiling above me began to disappear bringing with it a haunting darkness. Little clinking noises sounded around me followed by Victors smooth voice. “No, no, this cannot happen again. I won’t let you take her as well” With the little strength I had left I blindly reached for him, everything in my body burning from lack of oxygen. The only relief was the warmth of his skin… the warmth of his skin? Before my brain could comprehend what that meant I was shocked into unconsciousness.
Victor and I had met when I was brought into Indian Hill after under going a horrible chemical explosion that I was caught up in walking home from work. The chemical blast killed everyone within a 100 mile radius, except me even though I was at the heart of it. Miss. Peabody wheeled me into my cell informing me that the world thought I was dead and I didn’t mean a damn thing to anybody anymore. Panic stricken I tried to explain to her about my pug, Monroe that was at my house alone but she didn’t listen. Her only response was to slam the metal door in my face, walking away like a coward. It was three  weeks into my stay before I realized the crystal blue eyes the stared from the other cell and by that time I had already become the little ball of rage I am today Victor never seemed to mind. We didn’t talk for the first time until weeks later, we would stare at each other trough the small window in our doors, I would wave at him nervously causing him to smirk and turn away. 
Soon after he would have a guard slip notes under my door and from there on we made our plan. I would become the same as him so metal doors and weak human skin could no longer keep us apart. 
A warm feeling slowly crept over my extremities replacing the pain I previously felt with a sense of normal relief. My eyes opened slowly revealing the same icy ceiling in perfect 20/20 vision, my lungs no longer burned while they fought for air. Lazily I propped myself on my elbows spotting Victor who had his head placed firmly on his frosted metal workbench. “Victor” I said. He didn’t answer being to occupied by a well needed rest. I swung my legs over the edge of the tble I was placed on noticing the blue-ish clor my skin had become. My eyes widened as I studied my legs then onto my arms which were the same color the only difference being the little snowflakes that clung sweetly to my skin Quickly I grabbed a strand of my hair revealing that it had turned a snowy white unlike the black it was before. My heart pounded in my chest, it worked. “Victor! It worked!” I said joyously. His head shot up still groggy from sleep. “What?” he said unsure until his eyes met mine. With a numb type motion he made his way over to me grabbing my face gently with his hands.. My eyes closed to the feeling of his skin on mine, it was pleasant and warm, unlike before the feeling of frost-bite no longer came when he touched me. . “It dosent hurt?”  I shook my head no happiness washing over me. “We did it” I said. Victor brushed my newly white hair back staring in blissful disbelief, we had done it I would never lose him and he would never lose me. His eyes locked on mine for a quick second until he softly leaned forward pressing his lips to mine. An extraordinary feeling slapped my body seeming to lighten my senses, no more pain. I pulled him closer wanting more of it. In agreeance his hands traveled up my spine, his right tangling itself in my hair and his left holding my upper back securely. 
“Well what do we have here?” A smug voice said on the other side of the door. Victor pulled away quickly grabbing his gun and positioning myself safely behind him. I peered over his shoulder saw the pink glasses that  Dr. Strange wore. Looking closer I saw that he was in his red warm suit that was usually warn when visiting Victor. Along side him was Miss Peabody who was quickly entering in the access code to open the door. “Don’t worry I won’t let anything happen to you.” He said to me carefully watching the doctors every move. “How fascinating” Dr.Strange said upon entering the room. “You’ve changed her to be like you” The Dr. stepped forward reaching out to grab my hand. Victor with the flick of his fingers turned on his gun. “You can’t hurt her, she’s to valuable for you to dispose of.” I smiled at Miss. Peabody showing her that I did mean something to the world, she only stared back dull faced, her brown eyes beating with discontent. 
Dr.Strange stepped back obediently letting out a breathe that was followed by a quick fog. “Of course Victor, as as you wish.. we will have your cell fitted for two then.” Victor sighed in relief smiling slightly at me. “Are you sure that’s a good idea” Miss Peabody said. “It might give them ideas..” Dr. Strange dismissed her words with a wave of his little hands. “Nonsense. Let us be going… You two kids behave” With that the exited the cell. Victor was still standing protectively in front of me eyeing the door. A thick fog rising up the cell due to the warm bodies that stood in it seconds before.
 “Well I think that went well” I said trying the deescalate the moment. The hiss of he his freeze gun loading responded to my words. “Victor what are you-” Suddenly he began blasting the door completely over with ice so no one could get in.. or out. “He’s planning something Y/N It’s all an act.” He turned to me his face so sturn. I smiled graciously at him and ran my hands through his hair. “So what if he is?” He closed his eyes taking in the sensation of hands running through his hair. “You are obviously the superior being out of the two. I know you can handle it. I trust you.” His blue eyes flashed open at my words, startled I dropped my hands, Did I say something wrong? His face changed to that of concern like he was searching my mind to see if the words I spoke rang true. I did trust him, he turned me into an ice princess and protected me from Strange without any falter. He was all I had now
His attention redirected itself to my hands that lay limp n my lap. He twisted his face with disappointment  like they weren’t supposed to be there. Slowly he grabbed both of my wrists and placed them on his shoulders moving them around like he wanted a back massage. I smiled at his once I realized he was looking at me again. “Dont stop please.” he said wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. 
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online insurance quoting software
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online insurance quoting software
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Regarding car insurance ?
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How much does car insurance cost for teenagers?
how much would it cost to get car insurance. and dont you dare go telling me to go get a quote, i'll kick you in the nuts.""
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Im a girl with good grades that would be added on to my parents insurance policy, can anyone give me a dollar estimate?""
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I Got A Citroen Saxo VTR 1.6i Just passed my test today and was wondering who would insure me i got 1 quote but i had to be 18 UK insurance companies please Im 17 and 9months
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Health Insurance through my employee for me and my two sons will cost me about $480.00 per month. That's a lot compare to what I make. Any suggestions or referrals for affordable health insurance for the Dallas/Forth Worth area in Texas. I'm in a big dilema.
State Farm or Allstate Car Insurance: Which one is Better?
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How much will my car insurance cost? (Teenager)?
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I'm thinking of buying a used Volvo. Anyone know anything about maintenance costs or the insurance costs?
How do I get money from my insurance company when car is titled in divorcing husband's name.?
I totaled a car that is registered and insured in my name. The title is in the divorcing husband's name. He won't sign the title to get insurance check. Even if he did the check would go into his name. What can I do to get the money? Or what should I do? Lawyers are not much help right now.
After a DUI how much does it cost for new car insurance if you are dropped by your old insurance company?
After a DUI how much does it cost for new car insurance if you are dropped by your old insurance company?
What insurances are affordable when persuing Gastric bypass surgery?
I am at the beginning of my journey to have gastric bypass. I am having trouble finding a insurance that is affordable and will cover the surgery, any and all suggestions are welcome. I also welcome any advice people can give as this is something that i have researched for 4 years.""
What cheap but reliable family car is best to buy must be auto cheap insurance?
What cheap but reliable family car is best to buy must be auto cheap insurance?
""I'm traveling for a month, do I need car insurance?""
I'm going to be traveling for a month, during which nobody will use my car. My insurance expires right before the month starts, and I want to switch providers after that, but is there any good reason to continue paying insurance for that month at full rate when nobody's even going to touch the car? Or, is there another way I can save money?""
Do you pay for motorcycle insurance all year round?
I have my M1 and am taking the m2 course in may but I will not be riding by myself until June. The insurance companies want 4600$ a year (18 male,Ontario). Do I still pay 4600$ for the remaining few months I can ride or does that cover me until June o next year? Someone please explain. Thanks""
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online insurance quoting software
What's the most affordable Health Insurance for 55 yr old in California?
Not retired but paying almost 800 a month for Cobra/Kaiser and unemployed for over a year now due to knee replacements. It seems that with my new history of surgery that I am persona non grata at all the local health outlets.
Buying a used car and auto insurance?
I'm looking to get a used car in the US, but I have several questions regarding this: 1) I will have to get auto insurance before buying the car and driving it on the road. How can I do this if I haven't bought a car though? 2) I'm a non-US citizen, and I have no credit rating at the moment. Will insurance companies deny my application or will my premium go up? 3) I will be relocating to another state after getting the car. Therefore, can I purchase auto-insurance in my current state first for a month, and then purchase it again once I reside in the new state? What's the best way to handle the insurance matters in this situation? Thanks for all the help.""
Complaint about a car insurance company?
i am so dissatisfied with my previous car insurance company. they just tried everything they can to rip me off. i wonder: 1. where i can go to file a complaint: i will describe how i was mistreated by that insurance company. 2. also, what agency that give a rating to insurance companies? can i contact them to tell them about my story. i think we need to support good insurance companies. for those bad apples, we need to let the public know. thanks""
Health insurance for seniors?
My parents are seniors now and my father doesnt work anymore but he owns a restaurant so he cant apply for Medicare.. Does anyone know how and where I can find a affordable insurance that I can have for them. They need to apply for health insurance asap because both of them have diabetes Please help me!
Car Insurance with Motorcycle NCB?
Hi all, I have been riding a motorbike for a few years and have a NCD with my bike insurer. I am wondering if anyone knows of any car insurance brokers that will take my motorbike NCB into consideration, as I have never driven a car before. I have been searching the net, and found that Direct Line insurance allows you to do this, but I'd like to shop around a bit more! Thanks in advance.""
How much is car insurance for a 20 yr old?
20k car paying monthly, want estimated numbers dont give me no depends on your state and what car your driving""
Which company has the best deal on maximum coverage car insurance?
I live in Ohio, and I have a lease which requires that I have extremely good car insurance. I was paying 140 a month on my fathers plan with a discount which was ridiculous in my opinion. Now I have to get my own policy, which places would be the best to get quotes from? I need it asap.""
How much does car insurance in u.s.a. cost I need to know or i'm sincerely screwed so please help I loove you?
Hello I'm about to go the u.s. to work in production. anyway what I'd like to know is what's the cost of car insurance. I'm a male whose been aged 21 years old since august 2010; and if i get a car over there it will probably be me fist. just want to know can you give me an average price - is it expensive or would it be under $5,000. for example i know you'll say it depends but please just give me a rough guestimate or average THANK YOU P.S. I LOVE AMERICA.""
Where can I get cheap kite insurance?
Here's the hypothetical situation. I'm flying my kite at the local park. Then someone's RC plane hits the kite line. The RC plane stalls and falls 100 feet, hitting a soccer player and killing him. Then my kite, which has been cut loose, hits the windshield of a car causing it to have a collision with a pedestrian... So, where can I get insurance to cover a situation like that?""
""Will the Supreme Court ruling on Affordable Care Act affect those under 26, and on their parents insurance?""
I am a 20 year old man, and I suffer from a couple health problems that I must have treatment for. I have a job, but I do not make enough money to afford my own health insurance, so I am on my father's. I am able to do this now because the new law allows me to remain on my father's insurance until my 26th birthday. If the supreme court rules that the mandate in question is unconstitutional will it effect that specific part of the law? Am I in danger of losing my health coverage?""
Cheap insurance in michigan?
Hi i live in Taylor MI and im trying to find cheap insurance for a 2008 ford focus
How much do you think my car insurance would be/added on to my mother's insurance?
I'm 18 and just now getting my license. My car is a 2001 Ford Focus ZX5 that I bought for $2500. My mom is going to add me to her insurance which is $50 per month (I know that is outrageously cheap I'm so jealous lol). I just want a loose loose estimate because I'm also in college so I'm only working 15 hours a week at minimum wage.
Where can i buy motorcycle gap insurance?:?
i just refinanced my bike. but unfortunately the new bank does not provide gap insurance on motorcycles. but i want gap insurance. is there any where or any place where i can buy my own gap insurance? i have heard that u can get your own gap insurance and u dont have to get it from the bank. but where exactly do i go to get my own gap insurance? are there any compinies that sell it to individuals? please help. and please let me know where i can buy gap insurance?
Car insurance do i have to tell them ??
am trying to fill in a form for a quote, i was involed in a crash which wasnt my fault, the other person admitted responsability, do i have to declare this as a claim ?? or do i not mention this, am trying to get a quote for this years car insurance Thanks""
Cheap home owners insurance?
they keep raising rates with no justification. Which company do you use? Are they expensive? Are they cheaper? I Cr 13;8a
If requiring people to have car insurance is the same as requiring them to have health insurance then why?
Wont the US government help you pay your car insurance if you cant afford it? Isn't car insurance a basic human right?
Need health insurance coverage for pregnancy?
I am currently pregnant with my first child and my fiance and I are both self-employed. We are looking for a new insurance policy the covers maternity care. The one we have now does not cover maternity and the hospital bills for the delivery seem to be quite high. Does anyone know of any companies that offer coverage?
Is Progressive a good auto Insurance provider?
I have used Geico for years. I have been extremely satisfied with their service. However, my premium is still more than I want to pay. I got a quote for Progressive and it is considerably less. Anyone out there have Progressive and satisfied with them? How have they handled claims in the past? Any other good, reasonably priced auto insurance companies?""
Will this effect my car insurance?
(btw if this makes any difference whatsoever, I live in the UK) So I'm soon to be a new driver and insurance for new drivers at the moment is really expensive! I'm aware of that! But my question was this: basically I'm looking to buy my first car, but the car I'm looking to buy was involved in an accident with not the current owner, but the owner before that! And I don't quite fully understand this but the accident was apparently a 'Category D' accident? So what I was wondering was, as this car has been in an accident, (but is now repaired) even though it wasn't me who had the accident, will this effect the price of my car insurance, as the car I will be driving will have been involved in an accident before, but not involving myself? Thanks guys :) xx""
If you get a learners permit will your parents insurance go up?
my mom wont let me get my learners permit cause she says her insrance rates will go up is it true? I live in california and they got Farmers insurance
1 day or Weekend Auto Insurance?
Hi Guys, I have a car that has no insurance on it since i am not using it any more but still runs good. I need to travel to NY from Detroit this weekend and again don't need it any more there in NY. Are there any cheap Auto Insurance firms that give us auto insurance for the weekend only. Thanks a lot for the help.""
I need to find new insurance by March of next year...?
because the insurance I'm under now (TriCare) runs out when I turn 21. Problem is: I have bipolar 2 disorder. Not severe enough for SSDI or anything, but debilitating enough that I need medication to fix it. My meds without insurance total nearly a GRAND a month, not including psychiatrist and therapist visits, about twice a month. Even worse, I only work about 20 hours a week at $8 an hour, so I don't make enough money to AFFORD most types of insurance. But like I said, I don't qualify for disability either. Do you know of any health insurance programs that would be affordable enough for my budget, yet cover my expenses? I've searched sites for weeks and haven't come up with much. Any help will be appreciated! Oh yeah, and I like in Iowa, US - I know that makes a difference.""
Health Insurance - 31 days after Birth?
Here is my question: Me and my wife currently have health insurance (Carrier A). Effective 6/1 I plan to get into different health insurance plan with different insurer (Carrier B). On 5/23 my son was born and as per Carrier A, I have 31 days to enroll him under my current health insurance. Since I am changing eff 6/1, will he still be covered with my current plan (even I don't add him) until I add him to the new plan? So, basically from the time he is born until he gets added to Carrier B, would he have a coverage for these 7-8 days? Thanks""
What company provides the CHEAPEST auto insurance?
I want the very cheapest auto insurance out there. The bare minimum so that if I were to be pulled over, I would be legal. The coverage is not important. Thanks!!""
""I'm looking for an honest, good life insurance company. Anyone with experiences on this?""
Single mother with mortgage, a older teen and young adult, good health so far? I am looking to cover anything that would have to be paid in the event of my death.""
online insurance quoting software
online insurance quoting software
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-quotes-panda-charles-oliver/"
0 notes
stalepotato-blog · 8 years ago
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if anybody is actually taking time out of their day to read this stupid blog, let me save you some time.
just stop.     close the tab.    and go on youtube or something.
no but for real tho. just stop and turn around. 
there is nothing interesting on here for you to see. im just writing to myself cause im a loser and im trying to keep a journal of my thoughts on a day to day basis...at least i hope.
my friend told me to start the journal cause she said that it would help me deal with my life and just vent. also i feel like i can sort my feelings out better when i talk about myself.....soooooo yeah. i guess lets start with my past.
im currently 18 years old, im just not going to put my name on here cause what the heck is the point its to myself. but anyway im 18 years old. im korean. i was born in korea but my family and i moved to the states before i was even 1 so i consider myself pretty american....then again i hate the sound of american so i like to call myself korean even though i hate korean culture...you’ll see why later. i grew up in a pretty conservative household..i think? just think of any stereotypical asian household and that would be my own household. its was the usual...no girls, no drugs, no alcohol. i also went to church pretty often and considered myself pretty devout, so i didnt care too much about that stuff anyway.......except for girls. i was horny.
i spent most of my life growing up in southern california about 30 minutes from LA. it was pretty chill. i lived in the suburbs of a pretty safe neighborhood, the cops were so bored all he time that dealing with a car crash probably got them off. i went to elementary school, middle school, and high school all within a 5 mile radius of my house. which was convenient but there was nothing to do besides go to school...and go eat. which i did a lot. which is why im fat. oh. i forgot to describe my appearance. im a guy. 5′ 4′’. chubs. really small eyes. black hair. used to think i had broad shoulders but then one of my friends told me that im playing myself. so i stopped thinking that. 
damn i have hiccups, 
anyway where was I? oh yeah school. uhhhhhh school was alright. was a little rough at first..little kids can be mean lol but i go over it very quickly. i used middle school to try to change myself completely. i stopped crying. i lost some weight. i liked to play basketball and run so i did that a lot with my best friend. oh yeah my best friend. uhhh i met my first really close friend in elementary school. i was tired of kids making fun of me in elementary so put that anger out onto other people... aka my best friend. i bullied him and made fun of his buzz lightyear sweater he liked to wear by pretending that i was buzz lightyear in class. yeah i was a dick i know, but i was in like 5th grade, chill. he is basically everything physically that i am not. he was real lean. athletic and strong but it didnt show too much cause he was thin. oh and he was really tall. think he was like 5′ 8′’ by the end of elementary. he got back at me by making fun of my weight and height, so i consider us pretty even. i dont remember if we ever apologized to each other exactly but we probably did. we’re good now. although we still make fun of each other. its funny. 13 years later, we’re still friends.
at around around the same time i met m other best friend, ahhhh, not sure so much about best anymore but shes close to me and i care about her. i met her in elementary school, but we didnt really talk then, later i found out that she was actually sexist in elementary school and she didnt hang around guys cause well. she hated them? i forget the reason why, she just disliked them. but in middle school she walked every day home with me and my best bud. our houses were pretty close to each other so we it was nice to walk together. at first she avoided us too, but then she started hanging with us two and that was the first time she really talked to guys and had fun so she stuck around. but thats not the only thing. i dont know how to describe her, but she really isnt your normal type of girl. she very quirky. reallllllly short like 4′ 6′’ or something like that, she had really long hair, which i thought was cute..until she chopped it off like halfway through middle school. but at the end of the day. this girl was weird. for example. my and me best bud first noticed that she also walked home a few days into the semester, but when we saw her, she was stealing one of those flowers next to like plaza signs to make them look better? you know what im talking about? my bud and i were walking up to her and she was staring at the flower and she tried to take only one flower but ended up uprooting the whole damn thing. by this time my friend and i had caught up to her and we were just staring at her without saying a word. then this girl breaks the silence by looking at my bud an saying ‘hey. cut this bottle for me yeah?’ then she flashed us a smile and proceeded to pull a 2 liter bottle out of her backpack along with a pair of kitchen scissors out of her backpack....lets just stop there. what. the. heck? i mean like am i weird for thinking thats weird? that pretty weird....anyway she hands off the bottle to my friend and the scissors. and he just looks at me and says okay and cut the bottle in half. she placed the plant into the bottle and then started walking with us. and from tha point on she just kept walking home with us. now as usual, since we were all teens, with the whole puberty and emotions thing going on and also of the opposite gender we eventually liked each other... but in more like of a weird third wheel...ahhh... i dont even want to call it third wheel. it felt like a bicycle or like a motorcycle with one of those side car thingys........... ..... .... its complicated. in case you were wondering i was the extra part.. the extra wheel so to speak. but thatttttttttttttttttttt is a story for another time. maybe my next post. i feel like this post was a bit long but its my first one so what the hell. guesss this is the end..buhbai.
oh and on a side note. what i said earlier on the whole because we of the opposite gender so we started liking each other thing. dont give me any crap about how thats inconsiderate towards gay people and all that. i dont have anything against gay people, but im just trying to describe my own experience of my past without adding politically correct crap and all that social justice comments. i can live without others judging me on my own blog. 
then again. who the hell is going to actually read this. 
0 notes
theboardwalkbody · 8 years ago
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59 QUESTIONS:
Flounder told me to do 59 of those questions. I started this last night and needed to take a break. I tried to answer completely and honestly and it may have really soured my mood. By question like 20 or so it’s basically pictures of Joe Gilgun every other question. lol I felt it was easier to post photos than answer with words since I wasn’t too happy. But I’m sure if you delve into this you’ll really see where the depression and self-loathing caught hold of me again.
1. selfie
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post-shower selfie. also, shout-out to Joe.
2. what would you name your future kids?
Boys: Thomas Richard (or if I had two boys Thomas and Richard). Thomas is a name that’s p much been in every gen of my family except for mine because everyone had girls and not boys. So I’d bring that back. Richard was my grandpa’s name so I’d also bring that back.
Girls: Natalie, Elizabeth, possibly Ellie, maybe Megan. 
3. do you miss anyone?
Of course. One’s a they’re-not-here-anymore thing and the others more of a we’re-growing-apart-as-people thing. 
4. what are you looking forward to?
You know, I really am looking forward to starting this new job. Not just for the money it’ll provide me with and the possibilities of me being able to do fun things like go to the friggin’ aquarium (most of this sort of thing I am already making plans to do lol oops) and see the solar eclipse but also because it feels like I’m finally DOING something. It feels like I’m finally taking this nursing-track seriously. I’ve got myself in a hospital doing career-related work. It’ll have benefits which I need to stay healthy. It’ll support me. It almost feels like Day One of this job is where my TV show starts. Day One is my Pilot episode. It’s gonna be JD walking into Sacred Heart, it’s gonna be the TARDIS landing in my yard and the Doctor saying, “run”, it’s gonna be Spongebob getting his fry cook spatula. In my mind I keep comparing it to Scrubs a lot. Like this is where we see me go from PCA to Nurse and this is where I will finally make Work Friends and maybe grab dinner with them after a long shift and maybe one day a cute employee will see me in the cafeteria and we’ll start dating. I just feel like maybe this job will be that life changing. That this is where my story starts - the story people want to see - and that’ll change my life. Or kickstart it. I know that that all sounds horribly idealistic and is not at all reality, it’s just not how life works, but that’s how excited and hopeful it’s making me.
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?
Lately Joe Gilgun’s been handling that. lol (and by lately i mean for like a year now). But as far as people IRL... not sure. Everyone has their days. One day this person will make me smile another day this one will. Everyone has bad days where they just rub each other the wrong way - it happens. But I feel like the people who are close to me make me smile pretty well for the most part. 
6. is it hard for you to get over someone?
Not really. I’ve only ever had one boyfriend and it took me two weeks top to get over him. Then again, I wasn’t even that big into him anyway. I’ve had a couple friendships melt away and those took longer to get over. Not sure I’m entirely over them. I think it just depends on the strength of the relationship and probably also the type. I really don’t peg myself as one who would find it hard to get over failed romantic en-devours, based on that past experience. 
7. what was your life like last year?
Strap in: Last year was a fucking hot mess. I mean personally as well as whatever the fuck the universe was doing. I started off last year entering Nursing III. I was excited because OB/PEDI was the rotation. I had JUST managed to pass Nursing II the week before Christmas and I truly felt like the luckiest person alive. I went into Nursing III with the impression it wouldn’t be harder than Nursing II BUT I wanted to do well anyway because OB/PEDI is where I want to be. The rotation was hectic and I was feeling the pressure and I ended up struggling. I failed the class by 2 points. Somewhere in the midst of all that I got into Preacher and so I took to drowning my sorrow by thinking of Joe (watching interviews and stuff). And man was I full of sorrow. The entire rest of May and the entirety of June I fell into such a fucking state of depression I was starting to forget literally everything. I lost an entire week of memory to depression during that period. Despite that I got a job as I’d run out of money and I started passing the time doing that. Until I got over the initial “if i mess up im fired” anxiety and got comfortable, at which point I called out frequently because my depression was like “fuck you you’re staying in bed - MENTAL HEALTH DAY LOLOLOL”. I was accepted as a re-entry student and got to try a second attempt at Nursing III. My job told me to go fuck myself (they wanted me to work friday - sunday plus one day during the week minimum - my class schedule was monday, thursday, friday and sorry i wanted a day to rest and a day to study - plus. that friday was non-negotiable. gotta love retail) and fired me. But whatever. Back to school, my priority, I went. I bought physical copies of my books to accompany the online versions. I went to the library to study. I actually studied. I excelled at clinical and I did well on all my exams except one. And then the final came up. And all I needed was a 75 to pass. My average was a 77 for christ sake. But nope. Bombed. 0.7 point failure. I got my grade three days before christmas. I tried to kill myself in front of my mom and my sister (in front of the christmas tree) with my grandma and my sisters boyfriend one room over in the kitchen. I cried for hours in my little sisters arms. I’d ruined christmas. My life was over. 0.7 points and ‘sorry, you failed out of nursing school - the last 4 years of your life was pointless’. I tried to appeal. I tried EVERYTHING. The dean of nursing told me I had no case for an appeal (my failure was my own), my only option was to re-enter the program and start from scratch. I asked her, as calmly and composed as I could muster being on the verge of tears, what steps I needed to take to re-enter. She told me, “do you really want to continue to waste your time and money at an institution you’ve already failed?”. I wanted to fucking kill her. I wanted to slit my own throat right in front of her and bleed out over her desk. I cried instead. I was so pissed at myself. Why couldn’t I be a Normal Adult and not cry until I got outside the fucking building at least? I spent the last two weeks of the year with my head so bruised it hurt to touch it or lay down on a pillow even, trying to forget literally everything, how I literally ruined my own life because I wasn’t smart enough, by sleeping as much as I could and spending the hours I was awake thinking about Joe because at least thinking of him made me a little happier. 
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?
Yes. I cry with literally almost every emotion.
9. who did you last see in person?
My grandma.
10. are you good at hiding your feelings?
I tend to be. The only time I am not is if I am so overwhelmed I don’t have the energy. Or if I am so upset I’m literally having a breakdown. Then I’m not. 
11. are you listening to music right now?
No.
12. what is something you want right now?
I kinda just want to go to bed. This whole thing has gotten too personal and I’m like half on the verge of tears and half so angry at myself I could scream.
13. how do you feel right now?
See above. I was alright before that, though. Believe me I was.
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?
I don’t fucking know. Men are disgusted by my appearance and usually do not appear within a 30 mile radius let alone touch me.
15. personality description
i have to be honest with you. this whole thing has made me very upset and angry with myself so i really dont think im in the right place mentally to answer this question. 
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?
Yes, and I feel bad about it to this day because they’re not around anymore.
17. opinion on insecurities.
I’ve got a lot of them. Also, Insecurity by Scars on 45 is a really good song, if that’s what you were asking.
18. do you miss how things were a year ago?
Read the above question about what my year was like and ask me that again.
19. have you ever been to New York?
I have been fortunate to go to NYC quite a few times. Benefits of having a friend who lives there. However, the amazement of it has certainly worn off. It’s a little frustrating to see how some people become so elitist about it. Yes, it’s a cool place, but listen, just because it’s a cool place doesn’t mean every other place is shit. It’s kind of annoying to watch your friend go on and on about how they’re a “native” and therefore “non-natives” don’t understand how awesome their city is while at the same time actively hating all the parts that make people like the city in the first place. It’s hard to explain. But I’m over that elitist attitude.
20. what is your favourite song at the moment?
I still can’t stop listening to Hamilton. I guess my current fav song off that is Washington On Your Side.
21. age and birthday?
25. Aug. 24th.
22. description of crush.
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(I’ve not got any crushes that pertain to my actual real life so there’s Joe again). 
23. fear(s)
i have quite a number of those and lately ive been having like ‘flashes’ of scary situations while i’m out and about and have been mini panic attacks in public. so that’s not going well.
24. height
4′11.5″ is what the medical charts say. I think I can be an honorary 5ft.
25. role model (answered already)
26. idol(s)
see # 25
27. things i hate (answered already)
28. i’ll love you if…
you show me any shred of kindness and human respect.
29. favourite film(s)
Twister. Runners up: Forrest Gump, DragonHeart, The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, and Holes.
30. favourite tv show(s)
Preacher, The Pacific, Generation Kill, Boardwalk Empire, The 100 (tho it’s an on-off love), Once Upon A Time (also on-off), Mr. Robot, HOUSE, M.D. CSI: NY, Viva La Bam, Jackass, and I used to really like Doctor Who and Torchwood. Misfits, Skins (UK, of course). 8 out of 10 Cats. I’ve got an on-off thing with 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown. Big Fat Quiz.... 
31. 3 random facts (answered already)
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?
girls. remember #14
33. something you want to learn
Enough to get my friggin license and get out of school that’s for sure.
34. most embarrassing moment
i have a lot of them. one time i tried to talk to a guy i had a crush on. i talked to him the same way i wrote fanfiction at the time. (girl finds unloved outcast, girl asks him if he wants to be friends, ultimately they become inseparable and fall in love and live happily ever after). he was weirded out. i persisted for a few days. i IMed him after stalking his myspace. he called me a slut and told me to never talk to him after complimenting his haircut (which i couldnt have known unless i saw him IRL as he posted no photos and i still hadnt told him who i was). it made the rest of the year awkward. i was 14. don’t do that, kids.
35. favourite subject
i like sciencey stuff in general. but if i want easy a’s i got for english.
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?
1. become the best damn nurse in the ‘verse and help ~all the babies and kids 2. have a large happy family 3. be financially stable and healthy enough to take said large happy family on vacations and such
37. favourite actor/actress
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38. favourite comedian(s)
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(there’s more but they’re the only ones I have gifs of)
39. favourite sport(s)
I quite like tennis, actually.
40. favourite memory
Eh, I don’t really know - to be honest. IDK if it’s because I don’t have one or because depression makes me think I don’t have one or if it’s because I often look back at past times that were fun and wish ‘why can’t I go back, I miss it’ rather than ‘That was great, what a good time’ like I assume most people are supposed to.
41. relationship status
single as fuck. yes, i am bitter about it. and very lonely.
42. favourite book(s)
Living Hell - Catherine Jinks the Across the Universe series by Beth Revis Rapture - John Shirley (prequel to BioShock) The Stand - Stephen King 11/22/63 - Stephen King Under the Dome - Stephen King The Islander - Cynthia Rylant
43. favourite song ever
Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon. I like the way it sounds. It calms me down.
44. age you get mistaken for
i have no idea, but i do know no one bothers to ID me for alcohol anymore.
45. how you found out about your idol
I’m going to bang my head against a wall.
46. what my last text message says
my mom: “we’ll go next week then” me: “OK”
47. turn ons
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48. turn offs
not being treated with mutual respect (ie a dude expecting he’s entitled to things or who thinks he should get more than he gives out). one of those guys who considers relationships to be the “ball-and-chain” trope. like don’t bother then.
49. where i want to be right now
with Joe. I am over this questionaire. D:
50. favourite picture of your idol
STOP ASKING ME ABOUT MY IDOL. HERE’S A GIF OF JOE AS CASSIDY.
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51. starsign
virgo
52. something i’m talented at
i have no talent.
53. 5 things that make me happy
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and also good food.
54. something thats worrying me at the moment
my financial situation (are we a nation of states? whats the state of our nation?! i’m passed patiently waiting, i’m passionately smashing every expectation. every actions an act of creation. i’m laughing in the face of casualty and sorrow, for the first time im thinking past tomorrow - and i am not throwing away my shot!) also literally everything because Anxiety™.
55. tumblr friends
Marisa and Heather and Flounder, you don’t count because I knew you since The Womb (Middle School is the womb apparently) and Kenny if we’re going by people I talk to frequently and also got on FB and the like. But if you wanna be friends just drop me a line. 
56. favourite food(s)
Chicken fingers with fries (and honey mustard and ketchup) is my go-to meal whenever I am out. I also like pizza from my fav. pizzeria (I mean or any but mine’s the best). Mozzarella sticks, penne vodka, ham and cheese subs/ham, salami, cappicolla, provolone subs (italian subs). French toast (homemade tho), waffles (eggo only), pancakes, grilled cheese, cream of broccoli soup but NOT cheddar broccoli, baked ziti (with ricotta or you did it wrong), mac and cheese, Guinness steak and mushroom pies, toasted pb&j sammiches, fluffenutter sammiches, english muffin pizzas are good in a pinch, chicken goo, cheeseburgers (only from mcdonalds tho so...) and once a year i have a hotdog. OH no - I love auntie annes pretzel dogs and i get those often so disregard my previous statement.
57. favourite animal(s)
turtle, axolotl, sharkies are cool, puppies (but not the scary ones that barked at me on my walk) and kittens and i really like reptiles.
58. description of my best friend
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(photos apparently swimsuit edition and look at those fucking hideous life jackets that we had to wear per contract until out of sight from camp personell. DIDN’T STOP ME FROM SPLITTING MY FOOT OPEN AND NEEDING STITCHES NOW DID IT). Also Flounder’s swimsuit was cooler than mine. And yes I am short.
59. why i joined tumblr
Kiera had a tumblr and I wanted to be cool, too, so I made one and forced her to follow me and I followed her and she doesn’t use this site anymore because she decided red.dit and ifu.nny were better uses of her time but i cant escape, i dont want to.
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