#dont even get me started on how i truly believe nico AND will saw this and decided to ignore it

[fizzyykittyy]

i hate when people act like nico and will have NOTHING in common, just bc their trope is “grumpy/sunshine”

ik tsats was not the best book but rick tried (and failed, but tried!!) to show the similarities between the two. will had a firm belief that all nico was was darkness, and all will was was light.

they both believed that they were only one thing. that all they were were light/dark. SIMILARITY. when people write solangelo angst, i think most people dont realize that their “angst” is so similar.

solangelo is not just your typical grumpy x sunshine, opposites attract, extrovert x introvert, they are a complex ship that show that you can have the same problems but only deal with them in a different; they are held back by their beliefs of you can only be one thing, being too “unique” is too challenging and confusing so why not water yourself down to one thing: what you think most people see you as.

[cheseyre]

good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:

*deep inhale*

Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-

Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:

I don't ship Prinxiety.

Like, at all. 

I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?

Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).

Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!

I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅

However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god

alsoooo 

pURPLE EYESHADOW

PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?

alsoooo 

hAPPY ROMAN

YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL

ITS  BEEN SO  LONG

AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-

IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA

THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY

Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.

👀

And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP.  I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨

we sTAN TRASHMAS

Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?

hmmm

👀 👀 

Okay, okay. 

With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~

He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle. 

Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!

*evil snek laugh*

Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-

Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂

God, first Patton in a skirt and now this. 

Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?

What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-

And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.

👀

Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man. 

Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls

...and fries.

Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh

Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.

Just...

Crying Stall Guy

Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious

Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon. 

There is no in between 

sorry I don't make the rules

Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂

Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico

Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo

😅

And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!

Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh

*clears throat*

Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house

Like

He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy

and YESS, he's a WRITER

And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??

my hEART

*cries*

The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter

*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-

*clears throat*

On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I

Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"

God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan

Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.

Wait.

Oh god.

Oh god.

This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?

Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.

That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-

Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK

I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking  destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-

Okay. 

Okay. 

New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video. 

Like

Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader. 

The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals 

despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves

No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT

*inhales*

noww 

guys, gals, and nonbinary pals

it’s time forr

the most wonderful time of the yearrr

WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN

Who will win? Who will lose? 

here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-

Place your bets, folks! ✨

Haha im not readyyy~

tl;dr

this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.

psst hey @quarantinevibes2020​ you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine

Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤

[cinning-at-midnight]

Lust, Trust, Ashes and Dust (Part 2)

~~~ Part Two~~~ 

Nico walked with me as we swiftly left the palace. It was imperative that nobody in the entire kingdom came to learn of my frequent absences. I held my dress shoes with my right hand, so that my feet would not alert anyone to my leaving. Especially Giles, for he would never allow what was about to happen. Nor would he approve of the many times it had been done before. 

Excitement raced through me as the carriage came into view. "Shall I join you, as always, M'lady?" Nico asked. It was clear he was worried about my fate, but also hesitant to sully his reputation. "Of course, Nico. Without you, none of this is possible." I grinned at him, hoping to ease his worry. "Remember, you are my alibi for when I return." I nodded towards the palace, which was getting farther behind us. "The maids are capable of keeping the others off of our trail until the afternoon." 

Nico nodded, and reached for the carriage door. "After you, then, M'lady." 

~~~

The waxing moon was high in the evening sky when the carriage pulled up to our destination. My heart fluttered, and I felt a flurry of butterflies in my stomach. I could feel Nico's gaze on my face, and turned to smile at him. "One day, this won't be a secret anymore, Nico." I told him calmly, "Thank you for helping us until then."

My butler smiled and looked at the castle before us, "I'm happy for you, and I truly believe this is what's best for you as well as King Byron." Hearing him say that made my heart swell. "Thank you for that, Nico." 

The carriage came to a halt and Nico stepped out first, then offered me his hand. "M'lady," he beamed at me. After I slipped on my heels, I took his hand and stepped down, and then gave him a quick curtsey in thanks. As I straightened my back, I saw Byron approaching us, as I looked over Nico's shoulder. 

My cheeks felt hot and my breathing slowed. "Byron," I said softly, almost too quiet for my own ears. He stood before me and bowed, taking my hand gently in his languid fingers. "My queen," he said, and I was mesmerized by his charm. 

"Nico, do make yourself at home, as always." Byron said, never letting go of my hand. "The lady and I will retire for the evening." Although this was the reason for my arrival in Stein, I felt oddly shy at Byron's words. "Won't you join me, my love?" His voice melted me like butter, and so I bit my lip and walked briskly beside him into the palace. 

~~~

We reached his chamber, and I sat on his bed looking out at the balcony. The moon was not yet full, but would be within a fortnight. I wondered if our plan would work out. 

~~~

You see, after Louis and I married, things were good for a few months before the stress of conceiving an heir came crashing onto us. It felt like Wysteria were breathing down our necks constantly telling us to produce a successor to the throne. Louis began to resent me, as I was not pregnant at the end of every month that passed. 

It was around this time that I had seen Louis for a spoiled brat, who felt he was owed the moon by all who knew him. I began to pull away, and in doing so, we also stopped having sex. Whether this was a side effect of our stress, or by conscious decision, was hard to discern. Nonetheless, I was grateful. 

After a few months of celibacy, Byron visited Wysteria for a trade arrangement. The details were not shared with me, as Louis had taken all responsibilities of the throne and left me with just a title-- Queen of Wysteria. Truthfully, I felt robbed and neglected by the man I had chosen to rule at my side. 

Upon Byron's visit, he noticed my absence in every meeting. He saw that Louis never spoke of me, and how little I was involved in his daily routines. Byron's intuition led to him searching for me deep within the gardens one day, and he saw me weeping on my own under a tree. The rest, as they say, is history. 

~~~

As I watched that growing moon hanging over Stein, I prayed that it would bring us good fortune. Please, let us conceive an heir tonight. My chest heaved at my plea, and Byron came to sit beside me, carrying two glasses of champagne. 

"What's the matter?" He asked me, placing the glasses down on the bedside table. My bottom lip quivered, "What if I can't get pregnant? What if I'm to blame and Wysteria doesn't get any successors in my rule?" My shoulders began to shake and he caressed my back. "Even if that were so," Byron spoke gently, "I would still love you." 

I choked back a sob and tried to stop my tears from falling. "Could you be happy without children?" I asked, my voice hoarse. Byron wrapped his arms tightly around me, "Absolutely." He swept a few wet strands of hair away from my face. "Any man who can't love you is a coward." He smiled at me, "Duke Coward, to be exact." 

I elbowed him in the rib cage, but couldn't stifle the laughter that erupted at his little joke.  After I regained my composure, he stroked my hair back, and combed his fingers through it. "Silly girl," Byron soothed me. 

~~~

A couple hours later, I awoke to the sound of owls hooting outside. Byron's arm was draped over my waist, and I rested on his opposite forearm. I jerked myself into an upright position, "Oh no, we fell asleep." I sighed, taking in his serene face as he slept. 

So much for conceiving an heir to force the kingdom's together, I thought. Byron felt my movements on the bed, and reached for my hand. "What time is It?" He asked, his voice thick with sleep. "It's still the wee hours of the morning," I told him sweetly. "Go back to bed." 

Byron opened his eye, and pulled me on top of him. "Absolutely not." He whispered in my ear, and began passionately kissing me, baring my skin to him. My breasts were freed by his teeth tugging at my corset laces, and I flushed. The cool air brought my nipples to attention and he subtly bit at the peaks, unleashing heady moans from me. 

"B-Byron!" I cried, as he bent me over the side of the bed. He licked my neck slowly and then nipped at the flesh. "Tell me, how does The Duke's cum taste?" I gasped at his question, and the memory of how I slipped away from the bedroom rushed back to me. "Can you still taste It?" He asked me, "I want you to return with the taste of my dick on your pretty little lips." Byron told me, and I felt my core grow hot. 

"B-but, I can't swallow i-if--" I couldn't finish my sentence as he had begun circling my nipples with his fingers, as he stood behind where I was perched on the edge of the mattress. "Dont worry, Baby," He breathed on the back of my neck. "We have plenty of time for sex and q celebratory blowjob." 

My ass shimmied as I rubbed my thighs together. Byron ran his finger down my spine and all the way down to my heat. I cried out and rocked against his hand. He pulled back and I heard him drop his clothes to the floor. "Ah, ah, ah," he tut. "You can cum when your king tells you to." 

"Y-yes, Sir." I replied, biting my lip as I waited for him to penetrate me. In agonizing slow motion, I felt his erect member tease my folds open. I whimpered and shoved my rear against his cock. He responded by slapping my ass cheek. I bit my lip and felt my nipples stiffen once more, this time from arousal. 

"You will remember how good this dick feels when you are servicing that pompous brat." Without warning, Byron shoved his cock inside my core and I shivered in ecstasy as his girth stretched my walls. My eyes went wide when he quickly pulled out and then pushed his dick all the way back inside. My jaw went slack, and I felt saliva pool on my tongue. 

Byron sped up the pace, and my head sunk into the blankets on the bed. His hand reached underneath my limp body to torment my nipple. I whimpered as his forefinger squeezed the tender area tightly against his thumb. "If only precious Duke Howard could see his wife right now." Byron chuckled, then paused thrusting. 

His fist grabbed a clump of sweaty hair off the back of my neck, "Tell me who you belong to." Byron said in a tender, seductive voice. I lifted my head, "B-Byron." I said, my voice dry and faint. "Louder, Baby," He squeezed my nipple again. "Who do you belong to?" I squirmed, pressing back against his dick, aching for his thrust to continue. 

"Byron," I whined. He hummed in reply, and released my nipple and brought his hand lower. "I don't believe I quite heard you, Your Highness?" Byron's finger flicked at and teased my sensitive nub. I moaned loudly, and started panting. "Who was it that you said?" He teased, slowly starting to thrust into me again. 

"Byron!" I yelled, and he rolled my clitoris between his forefinger and thumb. "Mmm, yes, Baby." Byron said, and began thrusting into me hard and fast. My eyes closed tight as I felt my inner walls grip his cock as my orgasm tore through me. 

I felt Byron tremble as he, too, climaxed. He rested his chest on my back, breathing heavy from his release. I felt warm and sleepy and reached over my shoulder to touch Byron's hand. His fingers laced with mine momentarily before he adjusted our positions. Byron stood first, and climbed back onto the bed. 

His arms stretched out to me, "Come here, my love." I propped myself up on my elbows and lazily crawled to his side. Byron spooned me, our bodies slick with sweat and very warm. It might have made me uncomfortable with Louis, but with Byron his comforting touch beside me made me very, very tired. 

He kissed the tiny peak of my earlobe, "Sleep with me, won't you?" Byron's vulnerability was showing and I knew he was dreading our separation. "Of course," I whispered back, my eyelids closing. 

[taxesdeathtrouble]

so! about that hogwarts au

im gonna get housing/birth status (??? whats the word for that) done right off the bat

alex is a slytherin, as stated in my previous post (i’m gonna put it in the same tag: hogwarts au)

Molly is a Gryffindor, through and through. the second it was placed on her head the hat was yelling

Chase is a Hufflepuff, which i know is controversal but it boils down to boy needs a hug and people who care about him and he gets that in Hufflepuff

Nico is also a Hufflepuff and I’m right. her sisters one too but thats not my main reasoning my main reasoning is that she’s really loyal and a fucking awesome friend and she’ll go to great lengths to protect the people she loves. 

Karolina is a Gryffindor, but she was also a hatstall because she really really wanted Hufflepuff because her mother drilled it into her that it’s the only truly good house but the hat sees her potential and puts her in with the lions and she ends up ruling them all through her kindness and how willing people are to follow her

Gert is a Ravenclaw, she was a hatstall too but she really didn’t want to be Slytherin (’not that there’s anything wrong with Slytherin it’s a great house’ but it’s just not what I want’)

So Chase and Karolina are purebloods (well, chase is. karolina’s dad is secretly a mythical being but she doesn’t even know he exists so thats for another time) nico is a halfblood (me mum’s a witch. dad’s a muggle. bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out) gert is a pureblood that doesn’t know she’s a pureblood because her mother died when she was three-four and she barely remembers her- she has dreams sometimes where she’s flying on a broomstick with a dark haired woman who’s face she can’t see. the moon is bright, and they are both laughing in joy. she got adopted by the Yorkes, a well meaning muggle scientist couple who make fast friends with their new neighbors, the Hernandezes, a pair of wizards with a child of their own. when Gert is seven and starts making the flowers in the backyard grow like crazy and begins to float down the stairs every morning, Gene and Alice spill the beans that she’s probably a witch and explain about the wizarding world. they give them Neville Longbottom’s card because they’re personal friends (he and gene go to the same bookstore a lot and are kind of buddies) and he explains about the wizarding world and hogwarts and gives gert a bunch of books about their history which leads to an obsession with Hermione. Neville checks in a few times and Gert chatters nonstop and Neville is like ‘i know her, actually’ and Gert screams. anyways Molly gets adopted by the Yorkes when her parents are killed by a mysterious accident and she’s not a pureblood because her family was never obsessed with that purity bullshit but it does make her family tree kind of...........spotty, and other relatives hard to find.

now, on to the good stuff aka Plot

- the five of them meet near the beginning of first year

- gert and chase are friends first because they meet on the train

- by the way this is going to be gertchase heavy dont @ me

- so anyways they meet on the train, and gert sees this very pretty boy sitting alone in a compartment as she walks the length of the train looking for a place to sit for the trip

- and he looks really sad. this is because ten minutes before boarding the train his father had just finished a long, self righteous lecture on why he should ask the hat to be in Gryffindor because ‘that’s what house i was in and you should be like me’ which is the last thing Chase wants.

- ‘hey, mullet, mind if i sit?’ gert asks, flouncing in and plopping down without waiting for an answer, and chase, who’s never been called a mean name by a peer in his life, and certainly never by someone this pretty, is flabbergasted.

- ‘excuse me? i do not have a mullet’ by the way chase is british gert is irish the others i dont care as much but these are the ones i’m attached to because i’m writing something else where that’s their nationalities

- ‘uh, yeah you do, mate. the name’s gert.’ she sticks out her hand, and it’s covered in scribbles. chase takes it hesitantly, and says, ‘uh. my name is chase stein.’

- gert spends that entire first year trying to get him to stop acting like he’s a grandmother at tea time and talk like a normal kid because he’s literally never hung out with anyone his age before

- the way the rest of them became friends: gert decimates alex at gobstones, alex is friends with nico, nico is friends with chase because #puffsolidarity and karolina is friends with gert from like, day two of their first year when they both got detention (the story of which they will Never Tell) (they conspired together to let the frogs from the transfiguration course escape) (they got two weeks detention)

- when chase gets sorted into hufflepuff, he cries. years later, he still doesn’t know why.

- chase develops a big crush on gert in their third year, which is also around the time she decides she’s going to be an animagus (alex told her she couldn’t do it and she got so pissed at him they didn’t talk for a month but it did start her on that path so she’s not super mad anymore) 

- so for about a month she’s being secretive as hell and won’t talk, which she comes up with a variety of reasons for, ranging from ‘i’ve taken a break from talking so you all remember how funny i am’ to ‘i have a debilitating non life threatening illness so i can’t talk until the month is over even if i wanted to’

- chase totally calls bullshit, and he’s kind of upset with her because he JUST figured out he’s likes her and now she won’t even talk?

- when she finally becomes an animagus she doesn’t tell anyone because it’s technically illegal but the first thing she says to anyone is ‘hey, mullet, pass the eggs,’ to chase (because he’s thirteen and still has the mullet although she’s probably going to be calling him that even when they’re married) and he cries. she’s like ‘woah what’s wrong?!?’ and he says through tears ‘you’re (sob sob) talking to me (sob sob) again (sob sob)’ but he gets a hug out of it so the ribbing from the guys on the quidditch team is worth it

- speaking of quidditch

- oh wait right gert’s animagi form is a kitty cat which she’s pissed about because she wanted something badass but nope she’s a fluffy calico with glasses markings around the eyes (and a purple tuft when she dies her hair)

- anyways quidditch

- gert and chase are both on their respective teams, gert is a beater and chase is a chaser (haha) and later on they become captains

- nico is the announcer for the games and a common theme is her dramatically making fun of their sexual tension/basically being a couple without being a couple bullshit

- ‘oh and there goes yorkes hitting stein with the bludger again, now, we have to wonder how bad their little lovers quarrel was’ 

- in fourth year, there’s the tournament and the yule ball

- karolina gets picked to represent hogwarts, and she doesn’t win but she still ‘loved the experience!’

- she takes nico to the ball, and that’s how they get together it’s really cute

- so obviously chase was planning to ask gert to the ball

- but he gets nervous and waits too long, and he’s literally mid sentence about to ask her when this girl from Beauxbatons (abby, if you’ve read one of my previous fics) waltzes up all cool and asks Gert straight up ‘will you go to the ball with me?’

- gert looks at chase first, just for a second, then says, ‘of course!’ because she really didn’t think anyone would ask her and abby is really really pretty and nice

- so gert looks gorgeous the night of 

- she’s wearing this long, shimmery dress, and her long, dark hair is in ringlets, and chase is enamoured

- she asks his opinion first, because best friends and all

- gert: so what do you think?

chase, completely heartbroken that he’s not taking her to this dance but trying to be cool: you look nice :) 

- gert thinks hes being insincere tho and it kind of hurts her feelings

- the dance is fine until gert goes to get her and abby drinks and abby is making out with someone random and gerts heart breaks in two

- she runs out of the ballroom in tears, and chase, who’s been sitting at a table all night completely ignoring his date, to her annoyance, sees her leave. he immediately gets up and goes after her, and finds her crying her eyes out in an empty classroom

- ‘hey’ he says, sitting down next to her. ‘hi,’ she says, voice cracking, and he wraps his arms around her and she presses her face into his chest as she cries.

- and then she starts rambling. ‘so i just saw abby kissing on some other girl, and i mean, i knew this was too good to be true, but i didn’t want to believe it, you know? i was just happy someone wanted to take me, but i should’ve known when she kept calling me beautiful. liars don’t make good dates.’

- ‘what? gert, you’re, um, you’re beautiful’

- ‘pfft yeah right i know you think so, sure-’

- chase holds her face in his hands in a rare moment of fourteen year old boldness and says ‘gert. you’re gorgeous’

- ‘o-oh’

- he seems to realize what he’s doing and pulls away, and they don’t talk about it after, but gert gets the beginning of a crush that day.

- so fifth year

- gert and chase don’t see each other all summer, because gert’s parents drag her and molly to america for research, which is where gert meets tandy and ty, super cool american wizards and she posts a picture with one of them on insta and Chase gets mega jealous even if he doesn’t say anything

- gert cuts and dyes her hair with tandy and molly’s help but keeps it a secret so she can surprise him

- they text more than call because chase’s voice is in the midst of dropping and he’s embarassed

- and the whole summer he’s bored as hell so he just goes to the gym every day

- and he finally gets a good hairstyle

- so that first day at the train station gert sees him and literally doesn’t recognize him

- who is this broad-shouldered, deep-voiced beauty standing beside her? and staring at her like he can’t believe what he’s seeing?

- ‘gert?’ ‘oh my god, chase? you look............so different. so what do you think? of my hair, i mean.’ her brain’s a little wonky. chase is so attractive, what the fuck

- he reaches over and winds his finger around a curl. ‘it’s really pretty.’ his voice is soft and to her ears, intimate, and oh, fuck you, hormones, this is the last type of reaction she wants to be having to this.

- she blushes really red and chase is like hmmm this is new

- that whole year there’s something different underlying everything. they spend a lot more time alone, doing homework together or going out on their broomsticks or splitting off from the group when they go to hogsmeade

- coincidentally, they both also make prefect that year, and through a lot of twisting schedules around by the kids (nico and karolina make prefect and there’s a few other interhouse relationships so gert and chase get paired up) they do patrols together

- and there’s a metric fuckton of flirting

- they also start playing dumb magic pranks on each other around this time, so often one of them will show up to breakfast with green hair or galaxy freckles

- chase did the freckles to piss her off but, oh no, she looks so cute, this isn’t fair

- fifth year is also when gert’s anxiety starts to get bad, so there are a lot of nights where she roams the castle in cat form, still kind of pissed about the tuft of purple that sticks up

- on one of these nights, chase can’t sleep. and i mean really can’t sleep. so he puts on the little device he wired up to make teachers not notice him because im lazy and cant think of anything else and heads down to him favourite alcove where he can look up at the moon and the snow falling and just think.

- gert comes across him, still in cat form, and she still hasn’t told him, or anyone, that she’s an animagus, so she considers just walking away, but then chase sees her and is picking her up and babytalking at her and oh, this is so cute, she can’t leave now

- so she settles in his lap and he starts petting her, saying, ‘you’re so soft, yes you are, pretty girl, yes you are,’ because ya know. he thinks hes talking to a cat.

- and then he just starts rambling about his issues and hes kind of maybe vaguely talking about ‘this girl’ (gert) and he doesnt say that he likes her but if you listen closely its clear, and okay, gert needs to transform back now or she’ll fall asleep, and she’s been meaning to tell chase anyways.

- so she changes back and oh, she didn’t think this through, because she’s sitting in his lap in her- oh, shit- pyjama shorts and tank top and no bra, what the fuck was she thinking?

- chase screams, and gert slaps her hand over his mouth so they don’t get caught. ‘are you done?’

- chase is wide eyed as he nods, and gert takes her hand off his mouth.

- ‘so. you’re an animagus, right?’ ‘yeah’ ‘how long?’ ‘remember that time in third year when alex said i wouldn’t be able to do it and we fought?’ ‘oh my god’

- his arm settles around her waist, fingers brushing against bare skin where her shirt has ridden up, and they’re both staring at each other and thinking ‘what if we made out right now’

- but then they hear a loud banging noise and jump to their feet, running back down the hallway. gert turns into a cat midstep, and chase whisper-shouts ‘that is SO not fair!’

- they make it back to their respective common rooms, just barely, and neither of them are able to sleep the entire night because of what almost happened between them

- at the end of the year, at the train station, they share a very long hug and promise to see each other over the summer. their friends are definitely making fun of them in the background

- near the start of sixth year they’re still doing patrols together, and one night, out of the blue, chase kisses her. they end up making out for like, an hour, then go back to their dorms smiling their asses off

- but guess what? they’re idiots. so they don’t get together right then

- they don’t actually talk about it. but every night they’re on patrol together, guess who’s ignoring their duties to make out in some dark corner? them

- but during the day they’re kind of ignoring each other and everyone is so sick of it so one day nico shoves them into the room of requirement (which she definitely found really early on in her hogwarts career- hufflepuffs are particularly good finders, after all) to force them to talk to each other and locking the door.

- they kind of just stand their awkwardly for a minute until gert is like ‘wanna make out’ and chase, being chase, says yes

- so they do that for a while, and there’s a couch in this nondescript room because story reasons, so it gets a little pg-13 up in the room of requirement if you know what i’m saying

-but chase gets hit with this wave of i wish she was my girlfriend why isn’t she my girlfriend what are we doing and stops kissing her. he’s so tempted to just dive back in, just from how she’s looking right now, but he really, really needs to say something.

- ‘look, gert, i want you to know.........i have feelings for you. there, i said it. and i’m not comfortable with just messing around when i care about you so much- mph!” 

- Gert cuts him off with a kiss. she pulls back, and says, ‘I like you too, mullet.’ and then they make out some more and when they come out of the room of requirement their entire friend group is waiting outside the door with Bertie Botts and chocolate frogs waiting to see the results and they come out holding hands and everyone starts cheering dramatically, like, ‘FINALLY, AFTER SIX YEARS, I KNOW PEACE!’

- and they all live happily ever after the end