#dont do home-made surgeries kids 🤷🤷

[fakeusernamelol]

I'm thinking about the "Ford performing an incredibly botched top surgery on Stan" again because I'm a sucker for self surgery even though I know nothing about actual surgeries. It got me wondering how plausible it is, with Ford swiping a scalpel from school's biology lab that they used to dissect frogs or something. The anesthesia being just getting Stan black out drunk. All done on a water bed (cuz it's easier to clean up) with a extremely rudimentary liposuction machine that Ford built himself. Ford trying so fucking hard to steel himself as if he's not about to perform surgery on Stan when all the knowledge he had was from an anatomy textbook that he borrowed from the library, all while doing it in a hardly sterile room. It's a miracle that Stan didn't die from septic shock

M HELLO MOOTIE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU HERE ONCE AGAIN and even happier that you liked that idea i had a while ago 😈😈😈💓💖💓💖

I really love this headcanon of ford thinking he can do even more than he is able too, he was a teen with an unbridled ego product of growing up with clear favoritism due to his achievements by his teachers and his father, stanford was told to be a genius but in a teenager mind having a thought so deep into his brain could lead to an dangerous ambition by wanting to prove he was that genius people said he was or even beyond that..

So, when he heard his brother complain from time to time about how uncomfortable the bandages he used to bind his chest were, he immediately thought that he could be able to help his dear brother problem. He has read various medical magazines and human biology books, Performing a surgery to Stanley at home didn't sound like something really difficult so he promised him he would do it! And even if stan wasn't really sure if it was a good idea in his deep down, Ford seemed so confident about that and well, it was his brother, he knew better than him and wouldn't make anything bad to him so he finally accepted to continued with the procedure.

He borrow some things from his dissection practices, towels from the kitchen, the first aid kit from the pawn shop, the gloves mom used to clean the dishes along with the disinfectant products to clean the scalpel and finally a bottle of fine wine from the collection his father kept in his office as an homemade anesthesia (only thing i would change is that i dont think they would own a water bed more when at the time they were such a new and expensive thing for a middle class family lol so i do think their surgery room would be the bathtub one day while his parents where out of home lol)

Ford prepared the bathtub along the utensils trying to get them as sterilized as possible while also reviewing once again the anatomy book he brought as a guide while Stan drank the bottle of wine to the bottom till get black out. When Stan was finally unconscious ford was ready to start with the surgery...

In order to perform a medical procedure you must have studies and a degree in it. Ford learned it while he was calling 911 almost crying of fear while trying to stop the hemorrhage from Stan's chest that along with the mix of alcohol in his body was getting worsened with every minute it passed. Luckily for both of them stan didn't die but he did end up in the hospital for a few weeks with their parents very angry with stan because they thought he had done it to himself while Ford was incredibly regretful for almost killing his brother to prove a point to himself. Good thing? The top surgery was a success! Well, i mean Stan now had a ugly big scar all over his chest and was being medicated for the not-so-unexpected infection he ended up with, but at least he could go out without a shirt now!! and that's got Ford being forgiven by stan lol