#dont click the read more if you dont wanna be mad fair warning

[sandsunseagrapes]

thoughts on “kathani” sharma

i wanna start this off by saying I am a fan of the Bridgerton books and show (to varying degrees) and as such it is my duty to remain critical of them as works. i obviously like the media since i interact with it, so let’s treat that as a given for the remainder of this post.

i am also a white, female-presenting (not identifying, but i benefit from white womanhood in public so it’s only fair to mention) american of mixed european/indigenous Mexica ancestry but i am culturally white american, is my point. please take everything i say with a grain of salt and believe me when i say i am not trying to speak for Tamils, Hindus, or any South Asians who may see themselves in the show. do not allow me to take anything away from you if you see yourself in Simone, Charithra, or Shelley’s characters. if you don’t want to be a little mad at least by the end of this post, please don’t read it! it’s not like i can or want to speak for you or your interpretation of the show ❤️❤️ (that’s why i didn’t want to tag this under the characters, so South Asian fans who really do enjoy the show’s interpretation don’t have to put up with my longass rant. please, if you reblog this, don’t tag it under anything other than the main #bridgerton tag)

[TLDR: i won’t touch on representation per se, but i believe i can confidently say the shallowest of research went into building the story of the Sharma heritage and that embarrasses me as a white fan and person because it implies the creators** didn’t care enough to build a cohesive cultural narrative for their Indian characters – and specifically my beloved Kate.]

alright, let’s get into it:

when i first watched s2ep8 and heard Anthony use the name “kathani,” the first and only character to ever utter it, i thought it was beautiful. i thought, wow, i’m so glad the creators gave Kate an Indian name – they acknowledged that calling the character Kate was a nickname and she actually had a culturally significant name!

i was wrong.

i’m writing a fanwork for kathony right now and as such, i wanted to do my research. i had seen (i can’t find it now but i will link it later if/when i come across it again) a post calling the show out for their treatment of the ethnic backgrounds of the Sharma-Sheffield-? family (i’m talking about Kate, Edwina, Mary, Kate’s unnamed Indian father and unnamed Indian mother here).

the name “kathani,” as far as i could tell, was completely made up by the show. sure, CVD (chris van dusen, showrunner) says in this interview w teen vogue that they “fell in love with the literal translation of the name” and the article even cites a name website. kudos to TV for giving us the exact place on the internet they pulled the name from.

 this is the only one of two baby name websites on the whole damn internet i could find that claims that “kathani” is an Indian name of any kind. the one linked above says it’s a Tamil name, while this one says it’s Hindi and means something different.

alright so they’re baby name websites, they’re not the most reliable. none of the many sites i checked have sources listed, so they should be taken with a grain of salt regardless of what they say.

so i went over to reddit, and shoutout to everyone on this post for having the exact conversation i was hoping to find. although not everyone made an explicit claim of Indian/Tamil/Hindi/South Asian heritage and it is the internet, i especially appreciated the comments from a few. their perspectives were valuable and led me to research what they each said. i’ll paraphrase below.

(note: when i say these users claimed something, i don’t mean to call their identities into question. i am taking their statements in good faith. i only mean that i cannot provide evidence as i am in other instances because i’m not about to invade anyone’s privacy like that.)

one commenter said the name “kathani” confused them and suggested that the name “Kathyayani” would have made more sense, being an actual name. it is the name of a powerful female figure in Hinduism and would have suited Simone’s character beautifully, i must agree.

another flat-out said that they had never heard the name before. i took the implication of this statement to mean they are of South Asian heritage. they also said that “kathani” is a word meaning something akin to “hearsay” in Hindi. which. not a very nice thing to name someone after, i think. (a direct translation tells us the word means “story,” but i have included this comment since i think it provides valuable context that can’t be gleaned from an algorithmic translator, which seems to me where the website CVD/TV reference got the meaning from. i can’t prove this obviously since the baby name website has no sources!)

my favorite commenter said they had spent a lot of time in North India and not heard of the name before. this is important because the name Sharma can historically be found in the north and has long been associated with a high-ranking caste in Hinduism called the Brahmins. (however it appears in contemporary times, from what i can tell, the name isn’t a strong indicator of origin or social status anymore? again, this is based on crowd-sourced information, not on academic research). the commenter said to them, it seemed like “they just picked... a word that could SOUND Indian [and was reminiscent of the name ‘Kate’].”

another user seemed to agree with the above and suggested another (real) name the show could have picked instead. (they suggested the name “Ketaki,” which is the name of a native flowering tree in many languages used on the Indian Subcontinent.)

so we’ve established the name is of dubious origin at best (remember, i found only two contradictory sources which themselves had no sources listed) and a totally made up name at worst. but why do i think that’s so bad?

well, again, i’m white. but it just seems to me that in writing the story of season 2, they** (i’ll tell you who i mean exactly below) wanted to throw in elements of Indian representation and while that is wonderful and I applaud that, it was handled in a messy, shallow way that hardly added up to a cohesive narrative.

(**i’m talking about people on the bridgerton series who have creative control, namely the writers’ room and showrunner in this particular case. i can’t prove anyone else had a connection to naming the character, and i doubt upper netflix cared enough to intervene so i’m limiting my critique to those people. specifically CVD as showrunner; i don’t work in a writers’ room but i am aware that as showrunner he has the final say and while i can’t speak to the power dynamics personally, i’m sure that affected the naming process in some way. if you can call it such; it seems so frustratingly all over the literal damn place.

i did some digging on the writers of s2 and from what i could tell, there was only one Indian voice in the room. of the ten writers i could find easily accessible public info on, only Geetika Lizardi is of Indian heritage. most everyone else is a white American woman, i think; one experienced writer on the show appears to be of East Asian descent and another of African-American descent. this was all done based on pictures i could find on IMDb/twitter and inferences based on their names because i didn’t want to dig any further than that. i’m not linking their IMDBs or twitters here because I think it would be weird and gross for me to directly connect these real people to my fandom rant. if you want to look them all up, be my guest. the only relevant information here is really that Ms. Lizardi was, again, the sole Indian voice.

let me stress something: this doesn’t mean I don’t think non-Indian people can write Indian characters. my fanwork is partially narrated from the POVs of Edwina and Mary Sharma, so i’d be a fucking hypocrite if i did say that. and besides, I’m not writing about them being Indian. I cannot speak on that topic since I’m not Indian. I can write them as Indian though by doing my due diligence and researching various topics about Indian history and its many cultures to include in their stories.

I don’t mean to criticize any of the creators on this particular point. i don’t think they set out to write a story about what it was like to be an Indian woman in Regency England; the liberties the show has taken with history and race specifically are for another post. i think rather that they wanted to include several Indian characters in a story about Regency England and that is lovely, no matter what else i say here.)

back to the messiness of the Sharma heritage.

now, granted, CVD acknowledges the Sharma family is “pan-Indian,” as the TV reporter calls it. he even claims this was on purpose because the family “[travelled so much in India]” and that “[the Sharma heritage was deliberately treated as] a combination of cultures.”

respectfully, what the fuck is that? their last name is historically North Indian and very meaningful in Hinduism; Kate’s “full name” is not culturally significant; and i’m not even going to get into the fact that “bon” and “didi” are from TWO different cultures.

actually fuck that, i am. Anoushka Sinha’s article for Digital Media Talkies’ site and Kamala Thiagarajan’s article for NPR Media both point out how “bon” (or “bone,” depending on the translation, i believe) is of Bengali origin, while “didi” stems from the north and is tied most closely with the Hindi language. (oh and ‘appa,’ which both Sharma girls use as a paternal moniker? that’s Tamil. ‘amma,’ as kate refers to her deceased mother, is also Tamil. at least that’s consistent – although again, Mr. Unnamed Indian Father Sharma’s last name is Hindu. Sinha and Thiagarajan both touch on these inconsistencies.)

(the “pan-Indian” comment just reads as tone-deaf to me. i mean, bridgerton acknowledges racial history in the show – it’s not colorblind. so, we have to assume colonialism is a thing... right? English colonialism truthfully beget the Indian nationalist movement because... oh yeah, because they were the oppressors! so multiple ethnic communities in India found a reason to unite! what a bizarre way to spin a meaningless stance. looking at you, CVD.)

i’m not saying multi-cultural families don’t exist, and certainly in a multi-cultural society as rich and complex as the Indian subcontinent’s it is entirely possible to have mixed lineage. i’m saying that the linguistic details (i’m not educated enough on costuming or set design to speak to any of that), the details meant to enrich the Sharmas’ inner familial lives, the ones we’re supposed to hear and think of as so sweet, such beautiful homages to a vibrant, unique part of the world, those details (‘kathani,’ ‘bon,’ ‘didi,’ ‘appa,’ ‘amma’) were essentially pulled out of a hat.

why would two sisters call each other pet names in two different languages? does that mean they’re Bengali-Tamil-Hindu-Maharathi (because they’re supposedly from Mumbai, then called bombay, located in the state of Maharashtra. i mean, i guess since i’m supposed to be doing this in good faith, i’ll allow the creators that license since Mr. Sharma supposedly worked for a royal family and those are probably the type of employers for whom you’d move your family across the country)? it just doesn’t make sense. why would they refer to their father in another language? (what does Edwina even call Mary, does anyone know?)

if they really wanted us to believe the Sharma family was multicultural to that extent, couldn’t we have had at least one exchange along the lines of:

hey i heard you call your sister [bon/didi], what does it mean?

and then Kate/Edwina says “oh that just means little/big sister and I use Bengali and she uses Hindu as a joke because our appa taught us so many languages!” i’m asking for a crumb of sense here.

like that could’ve been it. a flimsy little joke to show that there was some connection between all these cultural jigsaw pieces. (not treating the pieces as the joke but rather the mishmash. it’s like using pieces from different puzzles and pretending it’s a picture at the end.)

South Asian representation in Hollywood needs to improve across the board, and this is still a step in the right direction, IMO. i want to also stress that the show cast not one but two dark-skinned actresses of Indian heritage (they’re actually both ethnically Tamil, from what the wikipedia entries on Simone and Charithra say). and that is really cool.

that’s actual groundbreaking stuff, putting dark-skinned women at the center of a love story where their skin-tone doesn’t make a lick of difference. (again, racial politics in bridgerton the show are a different post i’ll make another day.) i’ve read so many comments on here and reddit about Tamil and darker-skinned South Asian women feeling so seen and celebrated by that and it makes me want to cry, i’m so happy for them.

i like the show, i really do. i just didn’t want to contribute fanwork to this fandom and specifically the kathony ship without doing my research about what that post i mentioned up at the top said. i can understand where the show was coming from, i suppose, trying to represent Indian women. but India isn’t a monolithic society and treating the cultures within it as... interchangeable really bothered me.

i wouldn’t like people mixing up my traditional Mexican* lineage by saying i was Mayan (when i say “traditional Mexican” i mean the Mexica people of central present-day Mexico, also called the Aztecs. except they didn’t call themselves Aztecs – my colonial spanish ancestors did that.) just because they are from the same region doesn’t make them interchangeable.

if you made it to the end of this, you’re insane for thinking about the show this much. except... shouldn’t we? i’m a fan, i want to engage with the source material, the screen adaptation, the fandom. i just want to do so respectfully and thoughtfully. i’m really grateful to that person who wrote the post that kicked off my doubts about the linguistic inconsistencies because they made me think critically, whereas i was originally willing to take the show at face value.

shoutout to all the South Asian fans of bridgerton and kathony specifically for contributing your valuable insight, here on tumblr and across the internet. this has been a valuable learning opportunity for me. i am so excited to continue working on my fanfic and exploring Kate and Anthony’s story. i hope whatever cultural elements i end up incorporating are ultimately kind, thoughtful, and respectful. i can only hope you help to hold me accountable, dear reader.

[pseudophan]

catch me crying at hannibal season 2 finale. everythings suddenly made clear and its so fuckin heartbreaking

ok hannibal 2x13 spoilers here so if you’re one of the people currently watching and dont wanna be spoiled don’t click the read more cause i HAVE to rant about that goddamn fucking episode

first of all. hannibal smelling freddie on will and realising he’s been manipulating him this whole time is genuinely the most upsetting shit ive ever seen in my life. he really truly believed will was gonna run away with him, to quote mads he was “blinded by love” and his face when all of that falls apart is so. he barely reacts and yet he conveys SO much. and i HAAATEEEE ITTTT. and then will calling hannibal to warn him, deciding last minute that he can’t set him up but its too late and hannibal is so hurt and of course he’s not just gonna leave without being a dramatic bitch about it and then the fight scene with him and jack is obviously SO fucking good but then... jesus fucking christ. listen. listen. when i say That Scene in mizumono is my favourite scene of anything ever i mean it wholeheartedly, yet its also the worst thing ive ever seen in my entire life. ok so im assuming if you’re reading this you’ve either seen the show or you don’t care about spoilers so im just gonna put the video here so people can watch it and and relive the pain

THIS SHIT.....IS SO....... i sincerely do not know who i feel the most sorry for. ok well sorry for is obviously abigail cause its hard to pity those other two fucks but hell if i dont feel bad as fuck for them both.

their entire relationship is based on a mutual fascination by and understanding of each other. it starts out with hannibal immediately being intrigued by will because to him will graham is essentially the greatest christmas present in the world. the psychiatrist part of him sees the way his mind works and naturally wants to study it further, meanwhile the Dark And Twisted Cycle Path side of him sees...well the same thing really but with an added element of hm. this man’s entire Deal is empathising with serial killers and holy shit wait im one of those oh this is gonna be so fun. oh wait he....he truly understands these killers....haha would he be able to- lol no he wont be able to understand me surely- and then at the end of the first episode he sees will emptying his gun into garrett jacob hobbs and he sees the look on his face and oh there’s so much potential. and naturally he starts being a real dick about it all and completely betrays will’s trust in every way imaginable and will is so so hurt by it and so naturally by the time he betrays hannibal part of you as the viewer is like well yeah, obviously, of course that’s what he’s doing. fair is fair. but then at the same time...

and will has those same doubts, and he’s realising that for all the hurt hannibal has caused him he’s also helped will understand himself a whole lot better, and while he doesn’t have the complete lack of conscience hannibal does he’s not exactly adversed to killing either, if it’s the right person. and maybe... maybe running away with hannibal wouldn’t be so bad... yeah maybe he should just- but then he remembers abigail. and he can’t get over that just yet. i truly believe if hannibal hadn’t “killed” abigail will would have given in sooner. but even then, he ends up warning hannibal that he’s given him up and that the fbi are coming and he goes to his house and oh my god there’s abigail. and im just imagining... the range of emotions he felt... when he saw her.... betrayal and hurt again sure because hannibal lied to him once more, but also holy fuck there goes most of his apprehension for running away with him and oh my god what has he done. and then he turns to see hannibal and THEEE HURRRRTTTTT IN HIS FACEEE. 

and then he stabs him and off he goes on his fucking speech and i think part of why it’s so effective is that up until then we only ever see slight glimpses of genuine emotion of any sort from hannibal and all of a sudden we get everything all at once and god it’s so much. for the first time in his life someone had the ability and want to truly understand him, something he’d long since given up on if he ever as much as tried (same goes for will, though he doesn’t have the added bonus of an extremely illegal hobby) and even more than that there is someone HE is that interested in? literally the only other person hannibal has genuinely loved up until that point was his sister and even then he was so young and suddenly here’s this guy who ticks just all the right boxes and for a second, just for a second, hannibal allowed himself to be seen and to believe he may have found genuine connection. and he had, technically, it just happened to be more brief than he would like

also hey, here to make it so much fucking worse: mads mikkelsen!

hey fuck you dude! what the fuck 😃

also this that tumblr user linpatootie wrote in their recap of the 2015 red dragon con

the idea of hannibal feeling Extra Betrayed because he realised will didn't even realise he loved him makes me want to FUCKING DIE

ok i gotta stop this none of this made any points forget i said anything i hate hannibal

[danganronpa-tng]

Chapter 5 - The Trial Of Kamron Naegi

*Trigger Warning; brief mention of hanging later in the trial. Read at your own discretion*

- - -

Kamron was found collapsed out in the hallway of the dormitory corridor. He had a couple of bruises on barely visible areas, such ad his stomach or legs. His sunglasses were missing. Due to the fact four people encountered the body at the same time, one out of the four could still be a suspect, hkwever this is not certain.

Cause of death was blood loss. He was found with his right hand severed, laying several feet away from him. The weapon used to sever the hand is unknown, but the cut makes it look like a sharp blade. There were clear signs of a struggle, including blood splatters in the middle of the hallway. It seems he was propped up against the wall rather than collapsing against it.

The victim was killed at approximately 1PM. He was discovered at approximately 9AM that day.

- - -

“So, he died at 1AM?”

“Yep... anything on your mind, Sara?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing really. I just find it odd he was still fully clothed at 1AM, that’s all. Well, bar his sunglasses, but you know.”

“That’s true, actually... thanks, Sara!”

“Anytime! Good luck.”

- - -

“I-I can’t believe this... Kamron... as s-soon as I learn we’re related...”

“Hey, hey Kass... it’s gonna be OK. We’re gonna find his killer, no matter what! Ok?”

“Yeah... yeah, I know you can. We all can. I just can’t let this slide. Someone’s- someone’s gonna pay!”

“Right.”

- - -

“Greetings, Hayden.”

“Oh, Katelyn! You ok? You look panicked.”

She’s smoothing out her clothes and panting.

“No, not panicked per say... more so, kind of nervous. I was chatting to Aspen last night, and we talked about how we were sure nobody else would be killed from now on... I suppose we were wrong.”

“Oh...”

“Anyways, I did my usual check to the weapons room, as I tend to do.”

“And?”

“I, surprisingly didn't see anything out of place. Nobody had moved anything since the masquerade.”

“Really? That’s odd... anyways, thanks Katelyn.”

“Anytime. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

- - -

“M-morning, Aeja...”

“Hello, Hayden. Apologies for my message earlier, please disregard it.”

“Huh? I mean, we can still talk if you want-”

“No, it’s quite alright. Now, what did you come over here for?”

“Ah, well, I just wanted to see what evidence you had.”

“Is that it? Hm. Well then, all I’ve found so far isn’t properly solid evidence, but I noticed that almost everyone came out of their room in their pyjamas, as you can see. However, three people didn’t. Aspen, Katelyn and Estrella. Not proper evidence.”

“Well, it’s still worth noting! Thanks, Aeja.”

“You’re welcome. Now, please leave me be. I’m thinking.”

“Ah. Ok.”

- - -

“Estrella-?”

“Hm? Hmm? Is that a voice? No, must have been the wind.”

“Estrella-”

“Oh, there it is again! It sure is drafty in here.”

“Estrella please, I just wanna talk about evi-”

“Ugh, a leader as supreme as me shouldn't be putting up with a cold room. I’ll be taking my leave now.”

“Wait-! Aaaaaaaand she’s gone.”

- - -

“Hm? Vera? Oh, you can write it down. Cool.”

Yes. Well, I was just wondering, has anyone checked the kitchen to see if all the knives are still there? It might be a worthy idea.

“Oh, no actually! I didn’t even think of that. Thanks, Vera!”

- - -

The Trial

- - -

“So, does anyone have a solid alibi?”

“For 1AM?”

“Ah... fair point. So let me rephrase that; was anybody in someone else’s dorm last night? As in, sleeping over?”

Yes, I was staying in Sara’s room last night.

“Ah, ok! So, we can pretty safely assume those two are clear then.”

“Nice! Thanks, Vera!”

“Was anyone else with another person? For any amount of time?”

I looked over at Estrella and Aeja. They were looking anywhere but at each other, avoiding eye contact like it was the Black Plague. I pitied the two. I debated whether or not I should admit I saw them. But before I could, the conversation topic changed.

- - -

“So, I don’t suppose anyone checked the weaponry room, did they?”

“Yes, I did, in fact.”

“Oh! See anything, Katelyn?”

“No, actually. Nothing was out of place, so it seems nothing has moved since our last investigation.”

“Oh, that’s odd...”

“...hey, Vera? Didn't you say you thought about checking the kitchen?”

She nods.

“Did you get a chance to?”

She nodded again, starting to write. I suppose writing is easier then having everything translated.

Yes. One knife was in the rack still, but bloodied, so we can assume a kitchen knife is what severed his hand. And I also noticed a glass while I was there, one that still had ice in it. Which means...

“Someone only put it back this morning?”

She nods.

- - -

“Estrella, you’ve been pretty quiet.”

“Hm? Oh, sorry. I just didn’t feel like wasting my breath on you.”

“Wow, rude.”

“Really? Quite honestly Sara, I hadn’t cared to notice.”

“What’s up with you? You’ve been in a pretty good mood since the whole-”

“Yeah, well, things change, People change. Or rather, they don’t. See, I was trying to be a but nicer, but after a certain incident I realised that- well, who am I kidding? I’ve built this role for myself, and I’m never gonna be able to shake it off, so might as well live up to it.”

She folds her arms.

“I’m the evil leader that’s only here to confuse and irritate people. I’m the walking embodiment of a bad joke! So, if you plan on figuring out who stabbed Spy Kid over there, I suggest you shut the fuck up and keep going with the trial.”

Sara just looked away, slightly disheartened.

“I thought we’d become friends now... Aren’t we friends?”

“Do you really want to be friends with someone like me?”

- - -

“Well, let’s get back to alibis, since we don’t have much to go off. Where was everyone? Alone, or with someone else?”

“I- like I said earlier, I was with Vera.”

“Right. Karma?”

“I was alone. I stayed up a bit late though, so I only woke up when the body announcement went off.”

“Ok. Kassidy?”

“I-I said goodbye to Kamron and then went back to my room... I went asleep pretty quickly.”

“Alright. Katelyn?”

“Unlike almost everyone here, I have an alibi. I stayed in Aspen’s room last night, then went back to mine and got changed. I was up before the announcement, so-”

“Wait a sec.”

“Hm? Something wrong, Aspen?”

“Katelyn... you never came to my room last night.”

- - -

“Katelyn..? Care to defend yourself?”

“Wh- oh, shut up, copycat. Have you not even considered your dear girlfriend over there? You should have seen her face when we saw the body! She didn’t even look surprised, she looked like she already knew! She-”

“That’s because I did.”

“...what?”

“Estrella, what do you mean by-?”

“Isn't it obvious, Mr No Talent? I saw the murder happen. I was on my way back to my room when I heard a fight, so I went to check it out, and... well, I simply decided to not give him a hand, haha!”

“Really?! You're serious?”

“Most likely.”

“Well, who did it?”

“I thought that was obvious, too. I decided not to tell you because I’m pissed off! I’m a petty bitch, as you know, and as such I decided to let this play out.”

“Estrella, stop being childish-”

“DON’T talk to me about childish, Aeja! I’m not the one who tried to hang them self when they got scared!”

The room fell horribly silent. Aeja looked away, and Estrella reached up to her own cheek, where her cut was. Something started to click into place.

“Wait, Aeja tried to-”

“Fine then, Estrella. If you're going to be like that, shut up and dont disrupt this trial. This isn't about our business, it’s about finding Kamron’s killer. So, now that we’re back on topic and abandoning that last conversation... Katelyn? Aspen?”

Aspen looked at Katelyn, who didn’t meet his eyes.

“K-Katelyn? Kate? Please, please tell me you just got mixed up. You got mixed up, right? Yeah. Yeah!”

“...Aspen.”

“...no. No, no, no, please don’t say it.”

- - -

“Why? Why did you do it, Katelyn?”

“I- Hayden. You have to understand, I hold my parents in... very high regard. He was insulting them, insulting me! I-I couldn’t just let that stand. I got mad, so I- I got a knife from the kitchen and went back, just to threaten him! I never planned on actually hurting him... but I guess he panicked, and he lunged at me. So I panicked, and- I accidentally-”

“...chopped his hand off.”

“...If I could go back in time, I would change what I did. But, it’s in the past now. I... this shouldn't have happened, I know.”

“...you can’t be serious, right Katelyn? Right?! It was Estrella. Yeah, it was! You’re just covering for her because- because- you don't wanna watch the same execution again!”

“...no.”

“...this doesn’t compute. There’s something wrong here, right? RIGHT?!”

- - -

“Well, Hayden, I do not wish to put up a fight. Care to unravel this case?”

That quickly? Hm...

“Ok. This- *sigh*.”

This all starts... Last night, I believe. The killer was out in the corridor with Kamron, with whom they hadn't interacted, until the killer made some off-handed comment about their parents, which caught Kamron’s attention. He started talking about the parents of the other participants, including the killer’s. They seemed to have a particular distaste for their parents, particularly their deceased father, for reasons unknown, as they started to slander them, insulting them and the killer. The killer, enraged by this, leaves Kamron there and goes to the kitchen. They grab a knife, which they must have thought was blunt, to threaten him. However, when they got there, Kamron saw the weapon in their hand and panicked. They tried to lunge for the killer, but was swiftly cut off- literally- as the killer also panics and swings the knife with unusual force. This blow, to their dismay, manages to cut off Kamron’s hand. He stumbles backwards and collapsed, bleeding out. The killer, panicking, returns to their room. They stash the weapon and go straight to bed, trying to act natural. 

They wake up slightly earlier than everyone else to hide the evidence. They wake up a bit too late though, and don't have as much time as they thought to clean the weapon. They simply slip it back into the knife rack and grab a quick drink, before heading back to their room. Five minutes later, they hear me scream and run outside, ‘finding’ the body along with me and two others.

That’s what happened, and our killer is...

Katelyn Momota, the Ultimate Psychiatrist!

“...it sounds so horrible when it’s repeated back to me. But, I must face the facts. I’m-”

- - -

*mumbling*

“Aspen? Did you say somethi-”

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

“ ! ”

“I told you not to get mad! I told you not to hurt anyone, and look what you did! You’ve... you’ve gone and killed someone, and now I’m going to lose you. I’m gonna lose you, Katelyn!”

“Aspen... Aspen, no. You can’t be upset over me, ok? I’m a killer now. I’m a bad person here.”

“No you’re not! I don’t care what you’ve done, you’re still special to me! I-I can’t lose you! Please don’t go... please...”

Aspen was doubled over on himself, and... I think he was crying oil? 

“I didn’t know the robot could cry-”

“Shut up, Estrella.”

Katelyn looked genuinely confused and concerned. She shook her head.

“No, you... you’re not supposed to be upset over me. You... you shouldn’t be upset over me. You can’t.”

Aspen and Katelyn finally locked eyes. Neither said anything for a moment. Eventually, Katelyn sighed.

“I... I know there is no escaping my fate. But... I wish to do one more thing before I am killed. Monokuma, may I? I will make no attempt to escape.”

Monokuma shrugged.

“Sure, knock yourself out. ...wait, what are you doing?”

And suddenly, Katelyn was running. Not to the exit, not to Aspen, but to...

“...Eh-?! GAH-!”

Katelyn was on her knees either side of a now toppled over Estrella, with her hands around Estrella’s neck. Estrella was grabbing at Katelyn’s Arms, trying to free herself. She was being strangled.

“You BITCH! I should have wasted my damn murder on you!”

“KATELYN!”

“ESTRELLA!”

Two people ran over; Aspen and Aeja. Aeja reached them first, full on jumping at Katelyn and pushing her off Estrella. Aspen helped Estrella sit up, the girl in question being purple in the face and gasping for air. Aeja had Katelyn pinned by her wrists.

“Hah... hah...” 

Estrella looked over at the girls, panting. She looked between them, and I couldn't tell which person confused her more. She nodded at Aspen, trying to stand herself up.

“Katelyn... the fuck?!”

“You... you know what you did to me, you bitch!”

After a moment, Estrella took a deep breath and grinned, placing her arms behind her head.

“Of course I do! And I don’t regret it either, you know. I’m glad I did!”

Katelyn literally growled, and suddenly she shoved Aeja off her, standing up. Estrella jumped a bit, backing up. Aeja looked at Monokuma.

“Monokuma- MONOKUMA!”

Even Monokuma looked surprised at the whole outburst, but he quickly resumed normal behaviour.

“I have a very special punishment for Katelyn Momota, Ultimate Psychiatr- SHIT-!”

With Katelyn quickly approaching Aspen, Monokuma slammed his hammer down on his button.

“Wait- Katelyn!”

[ahatfullofskys]

My BTS experience so far:

Warning: it’s a wee bit long.

Randomly DNA plays on the radio: ?!?????? What the hell, is this kpop?!?!?1 oN the radio?!?!?!? hOW?!? ... Actually this sounds pretty cool *makes mental note to check it later* .. *forgets*

BTS and AMAs fuss: *Facebook blowing up with the news* wHAT iS hAppenING, what is everyone so hyped for???? *watches the AMAs when BTS comes up* ... oh. OH. That’s the song!! Wooow they look so cool.

After watching the AMAs performance: Okay, just let me check the video for this dope song, I’m just curios. *plays video* ... Wait...why are they so pretty??? HOW?!?! Look at this guy’s skin (I later found out it was JK), how is it so flawless and smooth??? Why are you smiling?!?! TELLME YOUR SECRET!! ... *Jin comes on the screen to sing his part* *gulps* Why is he looking into my soul with this gorgeous eyes of his?  I’m so confused yet aroused right now... Those dance moves are lit... *the part where they do the hand holding thing with Kookie in the middle comes up* hOLD UP SLDKASDJAS this is SO COOL, I haven’t been this hyped about a dance move since Kinjas....  *song ends* ... I am so angry of how all of them are so fucking gorgeous. 

*trying to contemplate feelings* .. what is happening... 

After watching the DNA video a few times: Well... it’s only fair if I check some of their other stuff... I mean what could possibly go wrong. It’s not like I’m going to listen to them, it’s just for science.

Plays Not Today: lOOK aT tHOSE dANcE mOOvEs... *RM comes in with the second verse* what is your voice and how is it making my ovaries nervous?... seriously though their sync is cRAZY.  *watches in awe*.

Plays BS&T: .. *Jimin starts singing* why does your voice sound like it was send from the heavens? *start dancing after the intro* nO dONT touch yoursLVES LIKe THaT.. shit that’s actually pretty hot.. damn. *RM touching his lips during his part* why are you doing this to me? WHY?! *V’s part comes up* wow boi your eyebrows are angry and all over the place.. I love it.... That’s a lot of weird shit going on in this video tho... I understand nothing... BUT HOW CAN I WHEN EVERYTHING IS SO SEDUCTIVE??!?!? LOOK AT THIS GUY AND HIS FUCKING SHOULDER (Jimin)... I.AM.DEAD.... Also Angry eyebrows’s voice is killing me softly.... YO! HoW are they hitting thOSE NOTES. oooH give it to Me *music stops* ... wtf? ... yES of CouRsE you can play the piano... is there anything they cant do... Yo, pink hair, stop looking at my soul dude... *statue scene* what iS hAPPeNiNG?!?? I have no idea what this is and how I should feel. *video ends* ... I’m 100% aroused after this, I ain’t gonna lie.

Plays Save Me: *immerse in the video and song* I can’t decide what is the best part: the song, the choreography and sync or the camera work. I won’t even comment on their looks.. I ain’t going there after the previous one. Their stylist needs to call me and help me with my style. ‘Fall’ you SAY?!?! I’m FALLING DOWN A RABBIT WHOLE... okay one more...

Plays Fire: *guy catches on fire* ah this gonna be lit. Yaaas iron the shit out of him.... La lalala *car falls* DAAMN sON! ... This song is making me want to break things. *RM and JH part* oooh that’s liiiiit... *Jin touching his lips in front of that burning car* that car is an accurate representation of what your move is doing to my ovaries... *that music stop when Suga speaks* thIS IS FUCKING AWESOME... I cant handle it... *hot hot hot hotter* fucking lit... Okay wait let’s fucking Google search them and learn more.

Google search: *reads their names* lel Rap Monster, okay I’ll be honest that’s hilarious (later on I decided this name is accurate considering his rapping skills).. Okay I can remember those names but... who’s who? *searches them name by name* nah I can’t remember and distinct them c’mon... I will listen with color coded lyrics later, let’s find out their ages... JK is 20.. okay who was JK *searches* THIS ONE?!?!? THIS ONE IS THE YOUNGESt?!?!? That doesn’t sound right.. look at him.. I’m confused.. I GIVE UP. 

Okay, okay, let’s try to learn who’s who and start telling them apart, why is it so hard to tell them apart, why am I like that, I don’t wanna be racist I realize they are different *starts hating myself* *watches the videos with color coded lyrics* *a few hours later* oh okay so in conclusion: the one that starts a fire in my ovaries is Jin, angry eyebrows and deep voice is V, broody-Derek-Hale is Suga, the rap god is RM, the dance animal is J-Hope, the angelic voice and face is Jimin and the no-way-he’s-20 is Jungkook.

Watching other videos: *randomly clicks on video called “best moments”* oooh they are actually really cute, wtf how are those puppies the sex gods from BT&S??? My mind cant comprehend... *watches dance practice videos* Oooooh look at them move.. I mean how do they rearrange their composition so fast without falling or stepping on one another. This is illegal...  Wait what do you mean Jin and RM are the worst dancers, they look like they are doing fine *watches dance practices specifically to check RM and Jin* ... they dance 100000000 times better than me and I went to fucking hip hop and modern dance lessons for 2 years... I UNDERSTAND NOTHING

Watching American interviews: Their English is killing me. *interviewer asks about “crazy fans”* BITCH DONt, why are you trying to disrespect their fans like that... are you fucking kidding me??? Look at RM’s irritation.. SAME *interviewer asks about dropping English album* *feeling offended on behalf of the band* hOW aBOUT fUCKinG NO????!!!? How about that, huh?!?! I’m so sick of English speakers that think their language is the only language and we are OBLIGATED to know it. Bitch I ain’t and BTS sure aren’t. You like their music? You wanna sing along? THEN LEARN.FUCKING.KOREAN!!! Motherfucking arrogant entitled bastard I’m gonna slap you with a corn-dog. THIS MAKES ME MAD *keeps watching interviews* This is making me cringe so bad. I should stop.

*looks at clock* 4AM/!??? WHEN?!/!?

Okay I’ll just make this Spotify list real quick. For science purposes. *jamming to playlist in the car during 1+ hour traffic jams*

*decides to change tumblr theme* but what should I put for icon and banner.... what if... *spends 2 hours editing pictures and icons* ends up with Jin on both of them. 

let me just follow a few blogs so I can keep up with the news. 

*trying to stay away from fics* *fails*

*trying to post as little as possible so it doesn’t bother my followers*

opens tumblr today: 

dash: 90% BTS Mic Drop. 

me: ...

dash: ...

me: ....

icon: ...

me: well.. fuck.. 

I realize I am too far gone and idk what to do for my other followers and my urge to reblog everything on my dash.