#dont ask about timeline it makes no sense there is just me and my half-functioning neurons

[perelka-l]

When you both are in a shitty situation and can't even get up and are waiting for someone to arrive (whoever it is, really) and one of you has cigs and other access to fire so you just. Kinda chill for a moment. Like, it's just once, it should be fine, you can forget about it later.

[saintkimora]

well here is how my past 3-5 dates w joel have gone this past week

so! ive been spending the night w him p much every other night. so our 4th date was like 8 days ago. i got there and i THOUGHT we were gonna be in his room again but we were in his room for 2 seconds then he came in like “oh btw my roommates are making us go in the living room and be social” so i was like ..................................................rip i was like here i go its time for the caleb and leeann applebees date 2.0 :/ so we went in to the living room and it was with marissa and lindsey bc his other roommate was out. so everyone was like wtf are we gonna do so after some talking joel decided we would all watch the babadook on netflix since we were talking about the meme and most of us hadnt seen it. i hate scary movies but i figured i could get through it since i had joel to hold on to and since the babadook is like a meme now. so yeah it was fine i got along ok w the roommates and the movie wasnt that scary except for one part. there was one point where i felt like i was starting to shut down a little and i was feeling bad about possibly ruining things again but i asked joel afterwards and he didnt even notice lmao so i dont think it was as bad as i thought

lindsey went to bed halfway through the movie so it was just me joel and marissa by the end. after the movie marissa went into her room and joel and i went back to his room. idk if this next part happened at this point or if it happened on our next date bc its hard for me to keep the timeline straight since it all happens so fast lol so regardless of what day it was this was the next significant thing that happened w me and joel

so i was watching him play overwatch or something and his brother called him on the phone and they had a long conversation about joels financial situation while i was just sitting there lol. so afterwards joel put his head in my lap and explained all his problems to me about how hes so stressed out with money and stuff. and like obv i felt really bad for him bc that sucks. BUT i actually kinda liked it bc i liked how vulnerable and genuine he was being! it made me feel a lot closer to him. then we watched these olds 80s (?) game shows w his head still in my lap (one of them was like some knockoff of snatch game but w regular celebrities instead of drag queens omg) and he had the FUNNIEST commentary about all the old commercials and stuff lol i havent laughed that hard in a LONG time so it was really nice

and idk if this happened that night or the babadook night but i ate his ass again and once again it was a religious experience like his ass is SOOOOOOOO nice i still cant get over it lmao

so then fast forward to the next 2 days later and for whatever reason joel and i werent planning on meeting that night. but he texted me at like 2am telling me he was feeling kinda down about things and how he wished i was there w him rn so i decided to go visit him! and like he kept being like “i dont wanna bother you/i feel bad about always making you come all the way out here for me” and how he wasnt used to guys putting in so much effort and caring about him so much and like...it really wasnt that serious like it wasnt a hindrance to me at all bc i wanted to see him anyways lol but it did make me feel kinda bad for him bc like his old bfs must have been real flops for him to view me just doing decent bf things as like these grand gestures. i have more to say on this but it will be towards the end of the post

so yeah i showered and got there by like 3am. he set up his futon since it was bigger than his bed so we would have more room. and he talked to me about how stressed he was about money and medical school applications and how he felt kinda worthless so i listened to him and comforted him and all that stuff. then we watched the rpdr reunion together and it was SO much fun omg he was shook p much the whole time since it was so iconic. then we went to sleep since i had work in the morning

also like the night after that we were texting and i told him i was really tired and he was like but youre never tired and i was like ya but i had 2 full days of work and i barely got any sleep last night (which was bc i was awake w him until like 5am) and i realized afterwards that it was kinda mean of me to say it bc to me i was just explaining why i was tired but he was already feeling like a burden making me drive all the way there and comfort him so telling him how tired i was probably made him feel bad about asking me for comfort which is NOT how i want him to feel bc i want him to be able to request my help whenever he needs it. so i could tell he was kinda caught off guard by me saying it so i called him and apologized and we cleared it all up. anyways it was just nice to actually call him and discuss the issue and resolve it without any drama. and he said it meant a lot that i even called him to make sure he was feeling ok so it seems that at least i did something right 

there was the next date which was pretty much the same as usual. this time i watched him play diablo 3. but this time we also fooled around and he made me cum and then i was trying to make him cum but i fell asleep bc i was so tired asfnkjashdasna i felt SOOOOOOOOO bad when i woke up that morning :( i apologized and he said it was fine and he was tired too but i still felt bad about it

so then last night/this morning was our most recent date. when i got there a friend of him/his roommates named chris was using his room bc he was playing overwatch so i had to hang out w joel marissa and lindsey in the living room. it was extremely nerve wracking and i was sweating like crazy but i tried to hide my nervousness and socialize. lindsey and marissa seem to like me esp bc i brought joel a gift that day (hes like obsessed w friends and i saw a friends t shirt when i was shopping that day so i got it for him lol) also lindsey is iconic bc she is so wacky shes always getting on the floor and doing weird poses and moves and stunts. and marissa is p funny so i like them both. but still having to talk to them was stressful even though theyre both really nice. lindsey walked into joels room later that night when he was laying down and i was sitting on top of him and said she wanted to join and then later when joel was in the kitchen she came in the doorway and asked if i could be her boyfriend asfjkafndsjnkajs now THIS is a cracked queen

so the rest of the night was nice! we watched like 3 drag race s5 eps on amazon video and we did lots of cuddling and stuff as usual. then we went to bed and we woke up and we fooled around and we BOTH came this time. it was difficult for me trying to get him to cum but i had to power through it bc i had to redeem myself after last time. then i watched him play overwatch and then i watched him play destiny. i really enjoyed it! like i was sitting there cuddling a cute guy and watching him play videogames w both of us shirtless like that is literally all i want and i finally have it!

so yeah! its going really well w joel at the moment. we get along really well and i like his sense of humor and its nice having someone w similar interests to mine! and i love playing w his hair and touching his nice soft belly and his thick thighs and playing w his beard. and i looooooooooooooooooooovvvveeeeeee his voice so much omg the way he says certain words is so cute and hes always making cute weird noises and its super endearing. and i LOVE love love being able to cuddle w someone until we both fall asleep and then waking up together! its so nice 

he doesnt seem to be losing interest in me yet which is good. however this is the issue that i mentioned earlier that i would come back to. so hes constantly telling me about how hes not used to being w someone that puts in so much effort and treats him so well. so that got me thinking. like...obv he likes me at least a little but i have a feeling he might like me a lot more rn bc he isnt used to being treated so nicely. so like, after the initial novelty of being treated like this wears off im afraid he’ll realize he doesnt actually like me that much (like if it ends up being more of a he likes the way i make him feel more than he actually likes me as a person). so im kinda worried about that but im hoping it doesnt happen obv and that he continues to like me. and again. we’ve been in somewhat social situations together now since i had to talk to his 2 roommates but it really wasnt easy for me at all. and we still havent actually gone “out” and done something, like going out to eat or attending a function together or something. so i still have to wait and see how we’re able to interact in those situations before i can determine whether our relationship will work out. im also still too nervous to eat in front of him so whenever he asks if im hungry i lie and say no even though majority of the time i am actually really hungry :/ rip

so yeah thats p much it! its pretty nice atm, except for the issues i just mentioned. also last night joel told me that one of his hookup buddies was back in town the other day and texted him but he had to turn him down and tell him that he is with someone now (me) so that was nice to know! since he seems to view us as exclusive now. we still havent officially decided we are in a relationship but im really in no rush to do that since its only been like a week and a half so i want to continue getting to know him and stuff. i still do feel that he is gonna lose interest at some point but rn it seems that will be later rather than sooner so i am just trying to take it day by day. im also worried about greece since ill be gone for a month so it is very possible that he might meet someone else that he likes more during that time which would really suck. but im kinda just operating on the assumption that its what is gonna happen that way if it does happen i wont be too shocked and if it doesnt happen ill be pleasantly surprised

so yeah thats it, overall its going really well and im having a lot of fun with him! hopefully things continue on this path and we get even closer bc i really like him so far

[legerdeman-blog]

increments of 2, skipping the family questions //

((it took me 2 hours to type all this on mobile and then i had to drive home so yall better be grateful for my sacrifice))

8. How does your character feel about religion?Dirk is extremely atheistic despite growing up under an oligarchy. He thinks that religion is interesting enough to study but doesnt understand why someone would actually believe any of it.

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?Dirk is very book smart, but has very little in the realm of instincts and sometimes even common sense. He tends to think a bit too analytically and cold, which can often benefit him sometimes, but also burdens him in situations that call for a more emotional or instinctual approach.

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?Dirk pronounces everything perfectly and speaks very clearly. Slang sneaks its way in but for the most part hes got a mouth ready for court and a vocabulary ready for a theoretical physics conference.

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?Dirk isn't big on groups. He received plenty of offers for academic teams (and some sports teams because lets face it the guy is swole af) and might have visited once or twice, but hes really too awkward to put much effort into integrating himself with a group of new people. He was definitely a chess champ at least one year without even joining the club at least once though

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?Dirk is a wizard, or, to be more precise, a professional student. He doesnt actually make a living off of this at the moment, instead receiving a stipend from his father for living expenses as long as hes at the academy. Which he actually isnt anymore but shh. He enjoys his line of work a lot and generally cant think of one that he would prefer

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?About 8 years ago when dirk was the equivalent of a late teen he visited the human kingdom with his dad and little brother. They didnt travel much as they were mostly on a diplomatic mission to cooperate with a human businessman. He and dave spent most of that time with the businessmans children. What dirk found was the little sister he never asked for and a good friend who also happened to cause the last of dirks inklings of heterosexuality to slip away into the wind. Whoops?

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?Dirk isnt really old enough to have witnessed any significant events by elven standards. Although reparations with the humans has been an ongoing project his whole life.

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?Dirk has very few people he considers friends. Hes not the best socially by far, although he does tend to be a bit better over the internet, most if not all social subtleties seem to elude him. His best friends are the roxy and jake in his timeline, although the latter he hasnt spoken to in several years. He has a pretty good relationship with his jade too, mostly based in a mutual love of explosions and tinkering. Hes slowly growing fond of several people on tumblr but not enough to consider them close yet. Hes never had a real romantic relationship, although hes dated once or twice and had a few encounters. He is demiromantic so hes only ever had a crush on one person but his ideal man can be described as “alive”

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?Dirk doesnt attend any functions and in fact has hardly any interaction outside of his golems only on the rare occasion he leaves the small house hes renting to buy food

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?Dirks personal grooming is impeccable. His living space is sparse and well kept, except for his work area which looks like it got hit by a tornado at all times

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?Dirk isnt dating anyone, but he sometimes wishes he was. He craves the closeness of a romantic relationship but thats partially due to the secluded lifestyle hes forced himself into

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?The only grudge hes currently holding is against the academy and its headmaster for kicking him out. Its not that hard to piss him off though and if you manage to do it youre fucked forever.

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?Depends on the source of the stress. Stress caused by social situations, which he experiences frequently, he generally just tries to avoid. Any other problems he will attack head on with a generally cold line of logic.

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?Self righteous? Yes absolutely. Vengeful depending on the sleight. Contemptuous to a degree.

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?Is this the s&m question. Im gonna say no to both, although he does get a certain amount of satisfaction from seeing people he doesnt like, or people who have sleighted him, get fucked over.

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?I wouldnt say dirk is especially positive or negative. He tends to weigh situations fairly objectively and so generally considers both positives and negatives in an equal light. He gets suspicious very easily and approaches most things with caution and a half dozen plans in mind in case it goes badly.

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?Dirks sense of humor is...well. Difficult. He has that trademark sense of strider irony that allows him to be amused by a wide variety of things but only under specific circumstances.

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?Dirk has an inherent need not only to learn but to tinker. He loves having plenty of self made projects to work on, and if you give him something he can take apart, read, or otherwise study he will instantly lose interest in everything else around him. He has a deep desire to forge new paths and innovate in his chosen field. He feels that everything, no matter how good it already is, can be made better with enough work and whats more he has the drive and desire to put in that work. This extends, obviously, to not only himself but other people and the workings thereof. He also feels incredibly lonely, but thats only partially related.

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?Dirk will do nearly anything in the pursuit of his goals. There are few people he wouldnt use as fodder if the need arose and those few dont include himself

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?Dirk is short for an elf and a human. With the average being closer to 6 feet for elves and 5'10" for humans, his 5'8" leaves a bit lacking. Although his overall build tends to make up for it, being that hes fucking stacked. Hes pretty happy with himself physically, and why wouldnt he be when he can probably bench more than the rest of us combined? He doesnt tend to think about his height until hes around people who are taller than him but when that happens he does get a bit self conscious. His posture is also remarkable until he gets involved in anything, then he tends to hunch a bit.

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?Dirks gestures, the few that he makes, are very halted and methodical. Hes been known to fidget, but can just as easily stand stock still when hes in more formal situations. Hes been described at formal functions as intimidating and intense, when in reality hes just trying really hard not to fuck up to the point he suppresses literally every movement.

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?Dirks overall facial expressions are about as restrained as his gestural ones. Ranging widely from "stony bitch face of death" to "vaguely uncomfortable but were not sure why". Its pretty difficult to make him genuinely smile without holding himself back, but there are a few who can always manage it.