#don't you care about porthos

[hotmusketeerspoll]

what is the issue with letting the musketeers be FOPS?????? all these modern versions have all 4 of them dressing in the same variation of brown leather cowboy chic, i literally can't tell them apart by clothes, and not one of them stands out as a dandy?? this feels illegal. porthos should ALWAYS be wearing better clothes than the other four and aramis should be allowed a little private swag as well. let us?? have men??? who care about how they look????????

Absolutely. The main problem is that these days, “gritty realism” is in, which certain people have mistaken for being historically accurate, and unfortunately everything has to appeal to a wide audience who know nothing about history and definitely haven’t read the books. And those people will be annoyed if things don't match their pre-conceived ideas about what the past looked like.

So we end up with everybody dressed all in brown, don’t you know people didn’t dress in bright colours back then, they didn’t make an effort to look nice because they were manly men and men don’t care about fashion /s

Personally, I think they should maybe wash their faces occasionally (looking at you, 2023 men).

[philtstone]

for ask meme—d’artagnan/constance, “ringing”?

He should've seen it coming. Athos claimed solemnly once that everything about Constance Bonacieux can be fairly deduced, given the correct attention to detail -- which D'Artagnan does not always possess, was the unspoken implication. D'Artagnan didn't appreciate the lack of faith in his intelligence at the time (he is freshly sixteen and absolutely wiser for it) but just now he is reevaluating.

No, he decides firmly. It's not that he's stupid. There's just something about her proximity that always causes the gears in his brain to halt, and a faint ringing to start in his ears. It's her fruity lotion, maybe ("Teen Now said it's what Britney Spears wears") or the light way her hand rests against his arm as she rises up on tiptoe to make her request with bitten-mouth excitement, quietly against his ear:

"I want you to teach me to play."

"What?" he stammers out, two beats too late and with a rapid set of blinks that does nothing to clarify the situation for him. The kitchen of she and Anne's girls' dorm (he is absolutely not supposed to be in here, but he's sure Aramis and Porthos will make his excuses to Headmaster Treville if he's caught) is bathed in soft spring sunlight and Constance herself is practically glowing with the impish joy that's crept onto her face.

"Football," she says breathlessly. "I don't care that there isn't a girls' team. I just want to learn. I was thinking midfield, like you play, but I'll be happy to learn goalkeeping too."

It's her hair, he decides. It's spilling in long thick curls down her arms and framing her face and practically copper in the sunlight. Or maybe that sincere excitement, how bright and determined she is, or how the rumpled pleats of her uniform skirt do nothing to hide the grass stains on her knees from helping them drag Athos to first period after a full night of ex-girlfriend woes.

The field is closed off to students when it isn't practice hours. He'll have to nick a ball. And shoes ...

Her boyfriend's never approved of the large Beckham poster in her bedroom, D'Artagnan remembers. Personally, he thinks it's brilliant. So,

"Of course," he hears himself say, as if there was ever any other option in the first place. "Whatever you want, Constance."

He has a sneaking suspicion he won't regret it.

[the-hinky-panda]

No Matter What

Title: No Matter What

Rating: R

Summary: Everyone has their reason for committing treason. But ultimately, it's for a better future. They just hope they get to live that long to see that future.

Author's Note: It's been a shitty week for me and I've been struggling to write. I have no idea where this came from but here it is. I don't know if there'll be more parts or if this is it.

“Love is not a because, it's a no matter what.” ― Jodi Picoult, Second Glance

You don’t meet with the musketeers in the catacombs. Instead, you go straight to the country, to the monastery. Emotions are going to be high, loyalties tested. Suggesting treason will do that. Porthos, desperate for adventure, will be an easy one to convince to join the mission. Athos, your brother-in-law, is still grief stricken and looking for an opportunity of revenge. He will join any mission that will ease the pain from the loss of his son. You had also helped raise your nephew when his mother passed away in childbirth. He was just as much your son as he was Athos’ and revenge is also a motivation for you. You've been loyal to Aramis and his cause for over the last six years now. It’s D'Artagnan that is the one that could bring this all down on your heads. 

This is why your orders were to immediately report to the monastery. You have all of Aramis’ notes, documents, and evidence. If D’Artagnan decides to turn the three of them over to the king for treason, hope is not completely lost. You will have to be the one to carry through. Being a woman affords you less suspicion so it could be possible to spirit the prisoner away from the Bastille and train him to replace the King. That is why you’re at the monastery in the first place, to tutor him. He will need to behave in the same educated manner that the current king maintains. Reading, writing, art, history, all subjects that had been denied him since he was imprisoned. 

When you arrive at the small farm that houses the Jesuit order that Aramis is affiliated with, one of the priests takes your horse and hands you a lantern. You’re a common face around the monastery, often arriving to deliver news or offer literary discussions. The Jesuits were an order dedicated to enlightenment and knowledge which allowed a woman such as yourself to be an acceptable source of knowledge. It’s brought you comfort in a difficult world. 

“Brother Aramis will arrive later on tonight, if…” 

You nod in understanding. “I’ll wait in the kitchens if that’s acceptable.” 

“Of course,” he gives you a small smile. “There’s a bottle of wine if you wish to help yourself.” 

You give your thanks and head towards the kitchen. There’s still a chill to the night air so you take a seat near the hearth. You’re still sitting there, half the bottle of wine gone despite your watering it down significantly, and a hundred pages read in your book when Aramis arrives. You try to read his face, the firelight casting shadows on his face and making it difficult. He takes the chair next to yours, dropping tiredly into it with a sigh. You pass him a cup of wine and wait till he takes a drink before asking your question. 

“How much danger are we in?” 

“As much as we normally are.” 

“That’s reassuring.” 

He gives you a half smile before turning serious again. “We were right, Athos and Porthos are behind us completely.” 

“D'Artagnan?” 

“Horrified at our treason. But willing to let us hang ourselves.” 

“That’s smart of him. Athos and Porthos both have suicidal ideations so those two problems will take care of themselves. Which leaves us.” 

“Well, me, at least. I don’t think he knows anything about your involvement.” He frowns. “Which brings me to a question that I’ve had for quite a few years now. Does Athos know?” 

You close your book and set it down next to the wine bottle. “Does Athos know what exactly? That I’m a part time tutor for this particular Jesuit order? That I’ve been working secretly with you to replace the king? Or that we’ve been lovers for the past ten years?” 

“How about the trifecta?” 

“He knows of my tutelage. That is all.” 

You don’t tell him how you went to visit Athos a few weeks ago to finally confess to the secret relationship you had been carrying with Aramis. A secret that was soon to come out eventually when you discovered, despite your age, you were with child. Aramis was already making arrangements to leave the order, return to civilian life once more so you wouldn’t face a ruined reputation. A kind but unnecessary gesture you had told him since you had spent the majority of your life as an unconventional woman. But you had wanted to let Athos know before you started to show. 

But when you had arrived, it had been just hours after another kind of news had been delivered. The tidy home had been destroyed. Shards of pottery littered the floor, fabric had been ripped apart, furniture overturned. You didn’t even have to ask what happened, you knew. As you were tidying up, you found the letter that had been delivered in the early morning hours that day confirming your assumption. Raoul, the boy the two of you had raised together, had been killed on the front lines. Even if Athos had been stone cold sober when he stumbled through the doorway that afternoon, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him your news. That was the moment that had felt like a betrayal. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Tired.” 

He hums before standing up and offering you his hand. You take it with great gratitude, having spent the last couple weeks apart. There’s such familiarity in knowing where all the calluses are from holding a sword and pistol. The parts rubbed smooth like the rosary beads he uses everyday. The warmth and strength found in his hold as he pulls you to his side, presses his lips to your forehead. You used to worry about the other priests and brothers seeing these displays of affection but your relationship is the worst kept secret in the monastery. And Aramis, with his personality and charisma won over the entire building’s silence on the matter. 

“To bed, then.” 

He picks up your travel bag and keeps his other hand on your waist as you make your way through the quiet halls to the guest quarters where you typically stay during your visits. You smile as you remember the first time you came here, to visit him after he took his vows. You understood why he left the Musketeers, why he retreated here. Penance is typically only achieved through isolation. One night, he lasted one night before coming to your bed, despite your reservations. You had spent four years together on the outside of these walls. Four years and you had resigned yourself that it would be enough, it would have to be enough. But it wasn’t, not even close. 

“Do you remember what you said to me?” you ask when you reach the door to your room. “Our first night here?” 

“I’m not sure, I said many things that night.” He gives you that devilish smile. “I was a desperate man that evening.”  

“Indeed you were.” You step inside and wait for him to close the door. “I had asked you afterwards if you regretted coming here that night.” 

“Ah, yes, I remember that. And I said breaking one vow out of three was still a respectable record.” 

Poverty. Chastity. Obedience. Those were the fundamental vows of a Jesuit priest. “What we’re planning to do though, it’s going to take that record down to one. Certainly treason against the king goes against the vow of obedience.” 

He nods solemnly before reaching to undo the laces in your corset. “I suppose it’s a good thing then, that I won’t be a Jesuit for much longer.” 

You take in a deep breath when the boned garment is tossed into a chair. “Like you were a good one to begin with. A good man, but a lousy priest.” 

He presses his lips against your neck, his hands curling around your waist and pulling you back towards him. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d been an excellent priest.” 

[bullet-prooflove]

A quick round up of updates on the blog including new characters added to the ASK LIST and a list of fics that went out last week:

New characters were added to the ask list this week.

Dan Miller (Walker)

New Fics:

Chicago Med:

Cufflinks - Mitch is forced to deal with his mom a few days before the wedding.

The Best Moment of My Life - Meeting you was the best moment of Mitch's life.

Bad Influence - You tell Crockett he's a bad influence.

The First Time (NSFW) - Sean and you sleep together for the first time.

Dirty Weekend - You and Sean spent the entire weekend in bed together.

The Study Series: Part Four: Navy Shirt - You and Dean don't keep secrets.

Cobra Kai:

Home - Terry realises his house is becoming a home.

FBI:

Worth It - OA tells Maggie about the break up.

Fire Country:

Distance - Manny comes home to find you packing.

Haven:

Love Bite - Duke loves wearing the marks of your love.

Law & Order:

Waiting - Jalen waits up for you.

The Mentalist:

The Necklace - Cho realises you still wear the necklace he gave you.

The Musketeers:

Scars - You make Porthos feel beautiful.

NCIS:

Kiss Me - You don't realise you're being courted by Alden.

A Lucky Man - Alden knows he's a lucky man when he sees you walk down the aisle.

Crime Scene Clean Up - Alden takes care of you after a collegue kills himself in your office.

NCIS LA:

Finish Line - The story of how you and AJ first meet.

NCIS Sydney:

One Night - You and JD spend the night together.

The Rookie Feds:

It Should Be You (NSFW) - Brendon makes a realisation before the wedding.

SOA:

ATF!Series: Part Five: That Kind Of Love - Jax takes matters into his own hands with Stahl.

Top Gun Maverick:

Moving On - Companion piece to Broken Buttons , Messy & Choices - You and Beau begin to move on with your lives.

Walker:

The Storm Outside - Larry comforts you during a stormy night.

Life On The Ranch - Dan finds adjustment to ranch life harder than he thought.

Yellowstone:

Lifetime - You promise to spend a lifetime with Travis, no matter how short it may be.

Just Like The First Time (NSFW) - Walker and you send the night together for the first time in 7 years.

[comtedelafere]

So I just read this afternoon that Ray Stevenson has died at the age of 58 (which is absolutely no age, the poor fella, what a shock).

I'm not gonna pretend to know much about his back catalogue of work or say I was an especial fan or anything disingenuous like that, but I do really want to talk for a quick moment about the one role I really know and love him for - Porthos in the 2011 adaptation of The Three Musketeers.

Now, I know and you know that this version of The Musketeers is massively unpopular for a whole host of reasons - most notably the silly airship storyline (personally, I have such a well-trained suspension of disbelief that I can 100% deal with the airship aspect of it, but I totally get why it's an unpopular addition to the story) - but I will happily die on the hill that it is the closest combination of writing and portrayal of the Core Four yet (sorry, BBC version). Logan Lerman's d'Artagnan was a cheeky 19-year-old rascal who thought he was all that and a bag of chips and didn't care who knew it. Matthew Macfadyen's Athos was sullen and morose (but in a really hot way obvs, cos yknow - Athos) and didn't waste a word of dialogue. Luke Evans' Aramis was quiet, sober, extremely spiritual and didn't go around trying to seduce everything that moved the whole time.

But Ray Stevenson's Porthos? Oh. Oh this was sublime. Up until this adaptation, Porthos had more often than not been played as the comic relief: the large, overweight, affable drunk of no fixed IQ whose prowess at fighting was more down to luck and subtle slapstick than his good judgement. This version of Porthos couldn't have been further away from those portrayals.

He was a quick-witted, smart, physically powerful and agile fighter, whose hand-to-hand combat skills were so notorious that he never needed to use his sword. My absolute favourite moment that showed this fact so beautifully was at the end of the big fight scene with the Red Guards ("Four against FORTY? And you beat them like a drum?! *snort*!" oh, Louis!) when the Guards were reeling a bit, and trying to decide whether to go another round. At that point, Porthos casually pushed his sword from the scabbard with his thumb by about 2 inches - and that was enough to send the Red Guards running for the hills!! I screamed!! Perfect characterisation!! Porthos to an absolute T!!!!!

Not only that, but his version of Porthos was an unashamed yet impoverished dandy, a dedicated follower of fashion who took his time to choose exactly the right cut of new clothes in exactly the right colours - while his rich, married lover happily picked up the tab for him. He understood the way the right clothes and the right combination of appearance and demeanour in any given scenario could give him the upper hand, not only in fighting but also in all of his interpersonal relationships and encounters.

This is the Porthos I had wanted for years. This is the Porthos I cheered and applauded for when I finally saw the version that had lived in my head all those years had finally made it to the screen.

Don't get me wrong, of course the BBC Musketeers owns a huge part of my heart and soul and I love so much about them - but the 2011 Musketeers was so special because for me it was probably the very first time I finally got to see the Musketeers as the book described them, rather than just as the standard accepted carbon copies that had been passed down by Hollywood over the decades, and which bear little to no resemblance to the actual characters in the book. I have no idea if I've actually seen any of Ray's other performances or not, to be honest. Porthos may not be his finest hour onscreen, I really don't know. It may not be the part he's best known for. But if nothing else, Ray finally gave the world a Porthos that Dumas would have recognised.

Despite the fact the film as a whole was received poorly, his portrayal was a genuine gift, and I am privileged to be able to remember him as having given this Musketeer fangirl the abject joy of finally seeing Porthos played as he should have been all along. Not as a large, loud drunk who was just there to be big, strong and funny - but as a highly skilled, intelligent, audacious soldier with a sharp sense of humour and an even sharper dress sense; and who, rather than simply bringing up the rear as The Other Guy or the Big Fella, showed that he was quite possibly the Musketeers' MVP.

Thank you, Ray. Goodnight, and rest well.

[anamelessfool]

For One Creature's Sake (pt 2 of 2) P1

(AO3 Link) GEN | Primo & Young Copia

Submitted to @cirrus-ghoulette Whump Month Prompt. June 10: "Stay? Please?"

Family Drama, Phobias, Young Characters, Brotherly Affection, Caring, Family Bonds, Time Skips, Sickbed, Hospice Care, Curses, Hurt/Comfort

Even monsters need love, don't they?

PSA in my AU the Ghost Project timeline is much earlier. 1969-1972, 1996--ongoing.

2001

Primo lately had taken on a sallow gray color. The veins radiating from his white Infernal Eye were black, angry, twisting across his face and down his neck and arms like cruel lightning. When Brother Copia had visited him Primo was either boiling hot and soaked with sweat, or nearly frozen to the touch. A few months ago Primo had climbed into bed and since then he had not gotten up on his own.

“Primo?” Copia put on a cheery voice, walking deeper into the room with a tray of food and fresh flowers. “Primo, I’m here! Coming closer.” He narrated his actions, since recently Primo confessed he was losing his sight too. He carried the tray carefully across the room, resting it on the side table. “Lunch, soup and a half cucumber sandwich. All from your garden of course. It’s still doing well. Shall I…shall I help you up?”

“I would like that,” said Primo. He coughed and stirred. Copia pulled him up by the shoulders, adjusting the pillows behind him. Today Primo felt clammy but not uncomfortably so. The man grunted his appreciation, settling into his new upright position. “How are you today?”

“I should be asking you that.” Brother Copia gave him one of his shy smiles. He was a mousey, lanky young brother of sin in his mid-twenties, with a weirdly elegant ski-slope of a nose and a soft smattering of freckles. His fingers twitched excitedly as he spoke. He replaced the wilted flowers on the bedside table with new pink fluffy peonies from Primo’s well-tended garden.

Primo coughed a laugh. “I don’t change too much from day to day. You said there’s soup, sandwich?”

Copia brought the tray to Primo’s lap and cut small pieces of the sandwich for him, putting them in his hand piece by piece, chattering with the older man about the random goings on in the Ministry. What the new gardener was planting, Terzo’s latest weird project. If Sister had finally killed Nihil yet (she hadn’t). Copia carefully helped ladle soup into Primo’s mouth and showed off his little sling bag strapped across his chest.

“Rat carrier. It was crocheted as a gift for me,” Copia explained. He moved the tray of dishes away, and helped Primo wipe his mouth. “By Sister Alice.” He opened the drawstring and a black rat’s head emerged, its nose twitching. Copia scratched the creature’s cheek and it let out an appreciative squeak.

“Oh yes, and how is she?”

Copia frowned and he hoped Primo didn’t notice. “I'm afraid we're no more,” Copia muttered. “She…um…said it was her, not me. I don't really know what that means.”

“You’ll find the one,” Primo said, smiling. “Who do you have with you today, Copia?”

“Aramis,” said Copia. He placed the large black rat in Primo’s lap, guiding his hand to rest on the soft glossy fur. “The largest of the brothers.”

“He is quite a big one!” chuckled Primo.

“He eats Porthos and Athos’ food constantly,” Copia sighed. “But it makes him too sleepy to get into trouble, so it ah…all evens out.”

“You used to be so terrified of rats.”

“I don’t remember ever being scared of them.” Copia watched Aramis in Primo’s hand with fatherly pride. “They have little hands, how could you be afraid of them?”

Primo laughed aloud, and Copia gave him a confused look, but joined in. They shared a few moments of mirth before Primo’s hoarse laughter petered off into rattling coughs. Copia grabbed Aramis, who was fleeing from Primo’s lap, and dropped the rat on his own shoulder. He brought a cup of water over to Primo, helping him drink.

There was a tense silence. Copia pet Aramis, and the rat’s soft fur and happily twitching tail calmed him. But the lingering dark cloud had settled in on their afternoon.

“Secundo is now Papa Emeritus…and it seems like Terzo will be next.” Copia swallowed. “You don’t think Sister would um…would pick me for the Ghost Project, would she?”

“And why not? You have exceptional musical talent, Copia.”

“Yes, but…erm…I don't…I worry—”

“You don't want to end up like me,” Primo interrupted, a sarcastic expression on his face. “Maybe by your time you'll be stronger. More prepared. I lasted longer than the other three before me.”

“Three in eighteen months,” Copia whispered. “One died halfway through a set.”

“And I got through five years,” Primo said. “Some of the greatest five years of my life.” His chest swelled with air, and it seemed like the veins across his body throbbed painfully. “If I could meet my younger self and tell him all that I have accomplished, he would choose the same fate for himself. I assure you.”

“The Ghost Project is…something. We’ve never seen anything like it.” Copia sighed. “Expensive, volatile…dangerous.”

“Yes, it’s the most Papa Emeritus has channeled the Void in centuries. But Sister has a plan. Sister…” Primo turned his head away from Copia, his near sightless eyes distant. He was always terrible at lying. “Sister knows best.”

Copia cleared his throat, changing the subject. “Did you want me to read to you this afternoon? Where were we in the book?” Copia pulled a thin paperback from the side table drawer.

“Frankenstein's bride,” said Primo, his face cracking into a weak grin. “At least I remember that much.”

Copia smiled back, nestling Aramis in his lap. The huge black rat curled up and started to snooze. Copia opened the book, flicking the pages to where they left off. “Ah, yes, this is the monster speaking here… ‘If any being felt emotions of benevolence towards me, I should return them a hundred and a hundredfold; for that one creature's sake I would make peace with the whole kind! But I now indulge in dreams of bliss that cannot be realized. What I ask of you is reasonable and moderate; I demand a creature of another sex, but as hideous as myself; the gratification is small, but it is all that I can receive, and it shall content me…’’ Primo?” Copia caught his breath in his throat. “Primo, did you…fall asleep?”

“I’m here,” Primo replied. “I'm just…thinking.” He let out a rattling sigh. “Even monsters need love, don't they?”

“Of course.” Copia pet Aramis, smiling. “They need love most of all.”

Primo laid his head back, presumably staring up at the ceiling. It seemed like his mind was far away. Copia's earliest memories was of Primo’s broad smile, his good humor, his laughter. But one day Primo had stopped. Copia distinctly remembered moments where even his child brain felt that something inside his father figure had died. Some gray shadow faded the smile, some occurrence broke a piece of his heart off within him and it had painfully rattled there, trapped ever since.

“I'm sorry, Copia,” Primo finally said, his voice creaking. “I was miles away. You can keep going.”

Copia nodded, settling in. “Well then the monster continues. 'It is true, we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another.’ “

“I think that is enough,” Primo muttered. “I’m tired. I cannot think about this.” He held out his hand and Copia took it.

“I’ll come by tonight, for dinner? We can finish it then.” Copia carefully herded Aramis back into the pouch, closing the drawstring. He stood up, placing his hand on Primo’s shoulder. Primo looked up, finding his eyes. Copia’s heart dropped but he managed a crooked smile.

“That would be excellent.”

“Would you be interested in coming to my organ practice tonight? If you are up for it.” Copia lowered Primo back onto the bed so he could get his afternoon nap in.

“I will see how I feel. I can have the nurse open the window. I can…sort of hear you play from here.”

“Right,” Copia said, wincing. He started backing away. “I’m leaving now. I hope you rest up. I…I care about you, Primo. Like…like a brother. Like a son.” His stomach turned. The slackness of his father figure, his adoptive brother as he lay there in bed felt like an ill omen. Something in him turned on, dark thoughts lapping at his feet like the encroaching tide. I need to prepare for this. One day Primo won’t be talking back.

He closed the door, and pretended he didn’t feel like the sound reminded him of a coffin lid.

Me on AO3!

If you're up for seeing some 70s era Dark Magic Noir, please subscribe to my AO3 or the "Scenes from the Void" Series there. This fic will be released very soon. Thank you!

[onesafezone]

a study in portamis (2023 martin bourboulon's ver)

it took me two days and one night to get my own version of terrible clickbait what actually happened in the 'milady' about the whole promising portamis thing (whatever it was).

this post contains film spoilers! no, i'm serious, SPOILER ALERT. (i know the film hasn't been released in all countries yet, so if you haven't seen 'milady', please decide whether you want to read this or not).

my post is dedicated to all the people who have seen 'the three musketeers: milady' or found out about what was going to happen in the film and were heartbroken (for obvious reasons), so I couldn't sleep until the morning, but I did find out why /spoiler, spoiler, SPOILER/ porthos decided to marry aramis's pregnant sister.

yes, i know. it will take me a moment to experience that as well.

OK, here's what we've got. the simplest explanation is this: porthos is flirting with aramis' sister in the camp because he is bored/he wants sex/he wants to flirt/etc. yes, this characterisation portrays him as a frivolous character, but what if this is a fallacy? what if there is still love for aramis in his actions and i can prove it?

___________________________________________________________

i started by formulating the three main reasons why i can't agree with the 'i don't care who i seduce' version of porthos.

first of all: the events of the film unfold very quickly. in the first part, it was made clear to us that porthos has no shortage of lovers. we saw his bed once, and it was warmed for him by both man and woman. he also said that he doesn't sleep with fools, which is not to be taken literally. in any case, this gives us the idea that he has his own standards, that he will not sleep with the first person he meets to quench his thirst. yes, he examined d'artagnan from head to toe, but did he drag him into bed? in general, he knows how to stop and he will be able to restrain himself if the situation demands it.

second reason: you can throw a stone at me, but I swear that his lover in the awakening scene looks a lot like aramis. no, it's not because this man has a beard or curly hair like aramis. there's something in his jaw, his features are built like the aramis-coded type of man. you know what i mean. porthos' lover is literally not d'artagnan-coded, not athos-coded. his lover has a certain type of body/face build. and that type is the same as his best friend's. this is no coincidence.

so, having worked out why i just couldn't accept the fact that porthos suddenly fell in love with a girl (aramis' sister, i'm not going to hinting at anything… because i'm saving the last reason for the finale), i asked myself: why did he decide to get involved? what drove him?

here is my answer:

when aramis received a note from his mother telling him that his sister was pregnant, he immediately changed his face and went to see her. at the same time, porthos immediately noticed the change in his friend's face and tried to call aramis, but aramis did not answer. what did porthos do? without further ado, he immediately went after aramis.

micro-conclusion: he cares about aramis' feelings, he cares about him and he wants to help him.

OK, let's move on. we know how the episode of portamis meeting matilda's fiancé ended: zero result. literally. apart from the fact that the bastard was hit by a cannonball, the meeting had no result. again, what was porthos doing at the time? he asked aramis what he was going to do. he predicted that aramis would challenge an arrogant and dishonest groom to a duel. spoiler alert: he was right. where are his 1000 ecu?? ok, i'm kidding. but here are the facts: he looks after aramis again, tries to cheer him up. and from their conversations it's clear how well he knows aramis.

let's keep going. we're almost there!

porthos has been excluded from scenes involving athos or d'artagnan (let's ignore the scenario that made this happen). at first glance, it would seem that he was not involved in his friends' affairs for no reason. but no, he was wounded (there was a scene in the camp where he was leaning on a crutch) and drunk. in fact, we got a scene where aramis holds a dead drunk porthos, who relieves himself, by the cape, without feeling disgust. what do i mean by that? while aramis, athos and d'artagnan were chasing after milady, porthos, who had remained in the military camp, had time to think carefully about everything. in both sober and drunk mind.

yes, porthos is not as tricky as aramis. and not as cold-blooded as athos. he sees the problem: aramis is very upset that someone has dishonoured his sister. had it not been for an accidental death, the would-be bridegroom would have lived and not taken matilda as his wife, for to him she was obviously a one-time entertainment. aramis is upset, he is sad, and how can porthos help? (yes, he comforted matilda by giving her a made-up explanation, as if her fiancé had been a hero and had saved aramis and porthos from a cannonball, but that was not enough, it only solved the problem temporarily). how to end all this? what can he do? matilda is pregnant, she is not rich, no one loves her, he tells himself that he can do this, he can offer her his hand and his heart, and he will save her (and aramis). it will make his best friend happy again. this is the right thing to do. they will be more than brothers. isn't that the best scenario? aramis will be happy and they will become a family.

attention, now it's time to announce the third fact that doesn't allow me to bury my portamis hopes: when porthos talks to aramis about this decision, aramis doesn't look happy at all.

moreover, his face was masked in confusion.

the scene also ends with them unable to talk about it. porthos is taken away by aramis's sister, his future wife, and all goes well. aramis should be happy. but why isn't he? and porthos, too.

something tells me that this is because his subconscious chooses lovers for him who are similar to aramis, because he tries to make aramis happy, because he cares for him, because he wants the best for him, because he loves him.

i think at that moment, when the words of the forthcoming wedding are heard and there is a sad atmosphere between them, like at a funeral, they both think that maybe all this time their feelings for each other were something more.

[dragongutsixofficial]

THOUGHTS ON EPISODES 7 AND 8:

Episode 7:

RICHELIEU MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW

A Richelieu-centric episode ??? Sign me THE FUCK IN (seriously though he may be my favorite character in the book i'll take any crumbs I can)

Also loved to see him and Milady interacting more !!! Super nice 🖤⚜️

GO APESHIT RICHELIEU

FUCK THE POPE RICHELIEU

In the book (SPOILER ALERT) Milady tells a story very similar to the false testimony she gives in court in order to make Buckingham's right-hand man believe he abducted and raped her and turn him against him- it's really nice to see that referenced in the show

Like to see Louis actually having a personnality

Liked Ninon ! But why would you fall for Athos when ARAMIS IS RIGHT HERE

Also I do think they didn't need her to romance anyone to make her interesting in that episode ? I understand it's the usual plot device but ah well

Love how the last shot of the episode is Constance pining d'Artagnan against a shelf. We all know who's the top in the relationship

To conclude: great episode, did I mention i loved to see more of Richelieu ?

RICHELIEU MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW

Episode 8:

MILADY MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW

Love how the skirt-chasing for money is exactly how it works in the book

Alice (Porthos' love interest) is a pretty good reference to his mistress in the book and a very nice lady but I think the hilarity of Porthos having to deal with her original version would've been amazing (an older woman married to a cupid man who won't spend a dime while they're both just desperately waiting for him to pass to inherit his fortune)

Love how (in the French version at least) d'Artagnan is barely portrayed as actually caring for his farmers' lives, only his cash xD

De Tréville is a good dad

Love d'Artagnan just walking into Richelieu's office like he owns the place

Richelieu is having a mental breakdown

GOOD FOR HIM MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW

But don't be mean to Milady >=(

Milady and Athos being like: love in the air ? Wrong ! Gas leak =D

Mr. Bonacieux is very nice with Constance though. Like I would not have reacted that well

Also nice to see him working for Richelieu. The people who made this show clearly dearly care for the book

d'Artagnan getting promoted !!! Yeah =D now he's got the cool shoulder pad

d'Artagnan in the book 5000000000% wants Milady and does still a dude's identity for the second time in order to essentially rape her though so it's nice to see d'artagnan having a moral backbone more solid than that of a chocolate éclair

So uh. I do think Aramis took his own sword back from his ex's grave

Btw in French at least right before they start the duel d'artagnan says something like "speaking from personal experience, never trust in love" and Athos gives him a dramatic side eye. This can be explained in two ways: 1- he relates 2- d'artagnan YOU'RE SAYING THAT IN FRONT OF YOUR POLYCULE

Also once Alice dumps Porthos in the French version him and Aramis have an exchange that's like "So you're not gonna marry her" "Who would take care of you if I did" and I love them

Before he gets dumped, Porthos also says something to the effect of "there's a life after being a musketeer" to shut Aramis' criticism down. Boy don't give him ideas. If this was book! Aramis he'd take it to heart have an existential crisis lock himself in a room for weeks and whip himself crying about how he's gonna become a cleric

Edit: fixed a typo from Milady and Porthos to Milady and Athos

[dorothyoz39]

Feedback Fest 2024: The Musketeers (2014)

An Anatomy of the Human Heart by spycandy

Athos/Ninon de Larroque

Not rated.

Complete

Summary: Slow, quiet post series 1 Athos/Ninon. Ninon sends Athos a book, he finds her.

Fucking sweet!

The Delivery by SGLAB

Athos/Sylvie

Not rated.

Complete.

Summary: A very pregnant Sylvie is walking through the refugee camp with Aramis when she goes into labor.

Funny and adorable.

Surrender by under_my_blue_umbrella

Athos/Sylvie

M

Complete

Summary: Athos is a born leader, always on top of things. Well... except when he prefers not to be. Remember the opening sequence to "Death of a Hero" when, just as a casual aside, we learned that Athos likes to be tied up? This is a little ficlet about how Sylvie found out.

Sweet and tender, and hot while only being suggestive.

The Sounds Of A New Page Turning by under_my_blue_umbrella

Athos/Sylvie

G.

Complete

Summary: A new page turns for Athos, and d'Artagnan is there to help. Sylvie is in labor, Athos panics.

Sweet.

Love Above All Else by snufflyphoenix

Athos/Sylvie

G.

Complete.

Summary: Athos and Sylvie snuggle and talk about their worries about the future. They know they will face whatever the future may hold together.

Sweet and romantic.

With Mine Eyes by FireandRosemary

Athos/OFC

T.

Complete.

Summary: Athos is free from Milady but nothing ever runs smoothly for long; the arrival of a woman in Paris sets events and plots into motion that could catch all of the Musketeers in a web of hatred.

OFC is blind, smart, and Treville's daughter. It makes the story very interesting. It has some action too.

Moment of Truth by potentiality_26

Athos/Aramis

E

Complete.

Summary: A confrontation following 'Musketeers Don't Die Easily.'

HOT and lovely!

Goddammit, Aramis by penguingal

Athos/Aramis

E

Complete.

Summary: Returning to the Garrison after the events at Marmion's observatory, Athos has an important conversation with Aramis.

Hot and somewhat romantic.

Fairy Tales by breathtaken

Athos/Constance, Constance/D'Artagnan

T

Complete.

Summary: AU. Athos and Constance marry for convenience and then d'Artagnan apears...

It's smart and sweet. The friendship between Athos and Constance is the best part, and how maturely they solve the issues.

All for One by Richefic

Frienship between the musketeers

T

Complete.

Summary: The story follows season 1 adding stuf.

It's fun to read and it adds background to the story.

Bonus track: (Because I couldn't chose only 10)

In Blood And Silence You Speak The Truth by under_my_blue_umbrella

Frienship between the musketeers

G

Complete.

Summary: Athos is injured and his friends take care of him.

It's an awesome story about how he heals and his friendship with the others.

To regain faith by Flauschvieh

Athos/Aramis. Athos/Porthos/Aramis (at the end)

E

Complete.

Summary: Athos, Porthos, Aramis and d'Artagnan just returned from their assignment to transfer Bonnair back to Paris and Athos is still thrown over the recent events. One night when he gets unreasonably drunk and starts talking too much, Aramis doesn't know how to deal with the rock that is kicked loose…

Developing relationship. It's really sweet and romantic, and also very hot.

Crossing the River by Anima Nightmate (faithhope)

Athos/Aramis

M

Complete.

Summary: Aramis likes to be polite. And friendly. But he always seems to be at odds with Athos, in subtle (or not-so-subtle) ways. In different circumstances he’d have a better chance of knowing what to do, but this is a working relationship between fighting men, one of them notoriously reticent. If only Athos wouldn’t keep making references to Classical Greek literature, leading Aramis’s ever-fertile imagination into places it should not go.

Interesting and very compeling. Their relationship develops as the story goes and it's awesome to watch. Also, Athos is intersex.

Second Bonus track: (Because I couldn't not recommend the best story ever)

Standing on the Threshold, Waiting and Hoping by Anima Nightmate (faithhope)

Athos/Constance, Constance/Sylvie, Athos/Sylvie, Athos/Constance/Sylvie, Athos/Constance/Sylvie/Aramis

E

Summary:A gift fic for the Musketeers’ Garrison Fic Challenge wherein we dive off the beaten track of canon and explore what might have happened if The Inseparables decided to investigate deeper into the trade of young people in Season 2 Episode 8 (The Prodigal Father) and if they dragged Constance, still in mourning, into their shenanigans, inviting her to go undercover with Athos in another city.

This was written for me as a gift during a fandom exchange. The story is lovely!! We get to explore Athos & Constance friendship as they slowly enter in a relationship. They drag Sylvie and Aramis into it somehow. And we get to see Constance grow into herself and became akin to the woman we see in season 3. Along the way, she moves on from her marriage and d'Artagnan, who was an idiot in season 2. It's great to see her discover herself and the relationships develop beautifuly.

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

Les Trois Mousquetaires, Chapter 20

One of the best chapters! Hilarity, adventure, suspense, and OMG WHAT ARE THEY DOING in perfect combination.

It starts with a description of our Musketeers-on-a-mission that I just love:

"... c'était comme à la veille d'un combat, le coeur battait, les yeux riaient; on sentait que la vie qu'on allait peut-être quitter était, au bout du compte, une bonne chose.

L'aspect de la caravane, au reste, était des plus formidables: les chevaux noirs des mousquetairs, leur tournure martiale, cette habitude de l'escadron qui fait marcher régulièrement ces nobles compagnons du soldat, eussent trahi le splus strict incognito."

(I'm not going to translate all this, but it's essentially about feeling very alive when risking death, like on the morning of a battle, and about the Musketeers looking really cool on their black horses and with their martial looks. I agree.)

Then it all goes to shite pretty quickly. 😆

When they stop at an auberge for a snack, Porthos gets into a fight with a drunken stranger over drinking to the Cardinal's health vs. to the King's health. While they're pulling their swords to duel, Athos rides on with the other two, telling Porthos to "kill that man and catch up to us." Harsh.

Ominous narrator voice: Porthos doesn't catch up with them.

A few hours later, they get themselves into an ambush because Aramis doesn't want his boots to get dirty (don't ask), and Aramis ends up with a musket ball through his shoulder (and Mousqueton falls from his horse with a ball in his ass, but no one really cares.) They get away, but they eventually have to leave Aramis behind who's too injured to ride any further.

Athos and d'Artagnan, together with Grimaud and Planchet, ride on to Amiens, and Athos swears that he won't let himself get provoked into any kind of fight.

And then he does.

But not before d'Art and Athos have revoked the offer of two separate bedrooms at an inn and instead choose to sleep in a single room. (I hear you screaming THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, and for your needs I will refer you to the countless fanfics on AO3 at this point.) Oh, and Grimaud sleeps in the stable and Planchet on the floor in front of their door, in case you wondered.

In the morning it turns out that their horses are too exhausted to ride except for Mousqueton's, and that one has accidentally been bled by a veterinarian who mistook it for the inn owner's. Sacrebleu!

"Cela commençait à devenir inquiétant", the narrator comments, and it is indeed a bit suspicious how all these "misfortunes" pile up. Could it be a conspiracy? Could it?!🤔

Then Athos, when paying for their room, is accused of using forged money, and of course he lets himself get provoked, and of course swords are being drawn - and d'Artagnan and Planchet ride off while Athos is fighting against four men.

At last, d'Art and Planchet arrive at Calais - but on the Cardinal's newest orders, there's no boarding a ship without written permission. D'Artagnan, coming up with another Plan™️ manages to steal permissions from a nobleman and his servant by provoking a duel and killing him. (The nobleman's name is 'Compte de Wardes, and, dear reader, you better remember this one!)

They finally make it onto the ship, and although d'Artagnan was stabbed in the chest during the duel, he ignores it away Athos-style ("it slid off the bone; it's just a scratch"), and they make it to London without any further disasters.

Although the Duke of Buckingham is away on a hunt, d'Artagnan finally gets hold of him and delivers the letter.

THAT was a piece of work!

And it was equally disturbing and amusing to witness how cavalier they all were about losing one after the other Musketeer brother on their journey. Like: "Oops, there goes another one. Oh well." *rides on*🤣

[wench-and-jezebel]

The Musketeers Reaction: Sleight of Hand

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Note: Wench was slightly absent for the first bit of the review, but her comments pick up as time progresses

– – – 

He becomes a musketeer right? d’Art?  [Maybe, maybe not]  Fair enough

Oooof police brutality

Harvey Dent!

Well, damn... That’s a rat

I thought that was Jamie Kennedy  [I don't know who that is]  Movie whizz from first scream movie

You’ve heard about d’Art. Although you shouldn’t care cause you’re married. ☠️

Ooooop- He ded.  Well, unless it’s a fuckery

Oooop! I was right

All the prisoners are going free

Isssa stampede

Well, damn  [Thus why he said they'd just let him walk ou- Oh.  He just said that, but whatever]  Lol!

Ack

Oooooop Flirt is gonna be… flirting with the queen next  [Not telling]

I thought he was gonna kiss her ☠️☠️☠️  [I think he almost did]  Buddy you’re gonna get her shot in the woods too, dammit!

Well, I mean she was just behind the door. ☠️😂

[Only half?]

What kinda of idiot would overlook that?  

Um, sir, you underestimate him  [I can't tell whether to suggest that you meant 'underestimate her' or 'overestimate him'... this is d'Art and Milady we're talking about: two ends of the competence spectrum]  

ACK! ACKKKKK! NOOOOO! JUST TELL EM THE TRUTH! ACK! ACKACKACK! [It's important to consider at all times, btw, that their medicine sucks. Gangrene is still a concern, so any tiny wound is problematic.  Any hand injury basically ruins it, for example, which would devastate a swordsman like Athos.  A head/eye injury would spell doom for Aramis the marksman.  Et cetera.]  Ack 😖😖😖😖

I 😂😂😂😂 I swear.  I thought y’all were just joking about d'Art being dumb. But it’s a running thing in the show too.  I love it

Porthos like well damn. This little hoe  [Did you see his expression tho?  She said "bravest of the king's musketeers" and he goes (while bowed) bitch wtf????  And then Aramis goes "only among the bravest" and he goes "better”]  Yes  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Buddy you and the married women

“The one you supposed to give me!”  Flirt

Oooooof He is going to get some… Uh- ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [He keeps kissing her for cover]  DAMMIT DART  SHE IS MARRIED

THE LIP BITE

😩😩😩😩 this woman!  [Def stupid, my dear]

This man!

Did, uh.. did no one see the musketeers show up… and go in the house where he is  [Don't think too hard abt it]  😂😂😂

“What do you suggest?”  Something stupid of course

[Flirt keep getting slapped]

But she is happily married.  So loyal. Much faithful.  Very… in love with d’Art

[Many; d’Art dum]  

What could possibly go wrong 

Oooop-

Buddy.  It only takes one turn to see it’s locked

[Oh he'll definitely buy Milady’s self-defense claim now (not)]

This woman kisses so strange

Bruh. She just vamoooshed

"No one saw me" except like 10 people

– – – 

Jezebel: Main thought. I see what everyone means about d'Art. Buddy. There’s just no brain in that head

Wench: This is why he be my least favorite 

Jezebel: Normal Anon’s too 😂😂  And will likely be mine. Cause 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 stupid characters in shows like this… get people killed. I worry

Wench: I think he manages to avoid that actually

Jezebel: Thank god ☠️☠️

Wench: But like I said… Mostly only one important death that I recall

Jezebel: From the whole show?

Wench: Yeah, that I can think of.  Again, there might be things I forgot or you might find a character more important than I do and thus mourn when they die.  But I doubt it

Jezebel:  💀💀💀

Wench: Also, yeah, literally… d’Art and Aramis are both idiots tbh

Jezebel: Fair ☠️☠️☠️  And Athos hasn’t really been prevalent this one.

Wench: This is true… But he did have badass fight scene.  Technicallyyyyy

Jezebel: But erm… Flirt and Port be Uh. They be… welp.

Wench: alskfdj I knew you’d say that.  Overall character ranking?  (tbh, it's valid to have a favorite, least favorite, and tied for high second… that’s what I have)

Jezebel: In decreasing order!  Flirt -> Port -> Athos (idk his name just spells easy) -> Married lady -> Dumdart

Wench: How dare you

Jezebel: Nooo Athos was supposed to be before Port actually

Wench: askdfj I’m skeptical

Jezebel: I was thinking Port

Wench: Mmmhmm.  This feels like you’re lying now, ngl

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️  Fair… But I’m not 😂😂😂

Wench: Final ranking, then?

Jezebel: Flirt -> Athos (idk his name just spells easy) -> Port -> Married lady -> Dumdart

Wench: Aight, on with the show!

– – –

*OMINOUSLY opens fan*  “I don’t remember”  Yeahhhh ok lady

[Chickadee's flirting with Flirt… You gonna let that stand?  :)]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Everybody flirts with Flirt

I’m just waiting for someone crazy to do it. Like Cardinal.  That would be crazy  [It would be, but also strategically unwise... the Cardinal only gets power because of his influence over/relationship with the King]

Poor queen

["My father never shirked public appearance, no matter the threat" "Your father was assassinated" aslkdfjlk]

That logic… Is very stupid

Im such a hoarder; that castle would be filledddddd… It looks so empty

[Also, to be completely fair... This basically does sum up a lot of Athos' character.  (re: your earlier statement that he's not been prominent in it)  He very much is a duty-/honor-driven character, so he's often the one focused on the mission.  There are exceptions, but he's usually the "sensible" one]  Good good! Someone has to be!  [As I said, there's a reason I liked him asldkfj]  We got Flirt flirting with everyone, Port flirting with Flirt, and d’Art being an airhead

[Imagine being that pressed about a single diamond with as much money/privilege as the King has alksdj]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Why is Port’s hat so big!? Sheeesh! 😂😂😂😂  [And why is he holding the paper out into the rain 😭]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Ooooop- [Good job, d'Art, that went well asdlkfj]  Sweet lord  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Ooooof… That’s the gunpowder, right?  [That’s the gunpowder]  Oh, man

Kaboom

d’Art’s like. Well shit

[Tbf, I don't fullyyyyy blame him for this.  I called Vadim's plan the first time I watched it, but still]

Bruh, my nerveessss can’t handle shit like this! 😂😂😂 and I know he ain’t about to die

[Did you hear who called out for Aramis, btw?]  Port buddyyyyy

Sweet lord… My anxiety is going crazy

Runnnnnn Dumdart!!  Runnnn!!!

Kabooooom!  [Indeed]

[Bruh, hold up.... that was the diamond from Sherlock Holmes aldkfj]  Wot?!

Welp she ded

He ded  [Poor Felix :(]

They not ded tho!  [Indeed!]

Isss a ghost!  [I knew you were gonna say that alksdfj]

Isss a d’Art!  [I did not know you were gonna say that aslkfdj]

I really hope he says at some point “I’m a musketeer.” Since they said soooo many damn times “I’m not a musketeer.”  [He's not yet tbf… He has to earn a commission from the King]

Again I repeat (since you didn’t react to it earlier ☹️) Harvey Dent  [*simultaneously* That was indeed very Two-Face… That was exactly how Dent died in... What, Dark Knight?]

– – –

Jezebel: Did the cardinal have a part in this?  Trying to kill the king?

Wench: Nope.  To be honest, it's really unwise for him to kill the King.  For one thing, a lot of his power comes from his relationship with that specific King.  First, I think a new king could unseat him as First Minister (though I'm not fully sure).  But also, Louis is easily manipulated, whereas another king might not be.  Also, more importantly, there technically isn't another King.  That's a bit problem in this season, in fact; kingship passes on by bloodline, but Louis/Anne don't have a son, so, if Louis dies, succession is a serious issue.  All in all, the Cardinal Does Not Want the king to die

Jezebel: Ahhhh I see 🙂 ‘Cause I was confused af why he didn’t seem like a bad guy this one (He was talking to the musketeers and stuff)

Wench: Yeah... he's not really bad.  In general, I mean?  He's pretty true neutral, actually.

Jezebel: Minus killing the woman

Wench: No, even then… That doesn’t automatically rule out true neutral.  True neutral means that you don't really care if you're following the law or not, if you're being good or bad; it's a pretty self-centered stance, at least in my experience.  He really does care about the state staying preserved/not dissolving into chaos… but his perception of what's good for the state governs his actions.  And his personal goals center around his own power/influence.  In his eyes, Adele betrayed him; thus he harms her.  In his eyes, tearing down the king's guard by framing Athos is good because that leaves the king more reliant on him, so he can ensure that the state progresses according to what he thinks is right (and he gets more power).  He's highly neutral.  So you'll have episodes like the last episode where he's the villain, and episodes like this one where he's working to protect the king.  Even the most villainous Richelieu gets?  He's still not really... evil (still in D&D terms).  He's acting the way he thinks his best for him/France.  Whether it's true or not is a separate question, but yeah.  He doesn't really care what he has to do to achieve those goals, so he's not actively trying to make the world better/worse.  He manipulates the system, but breaks the law whenever the reward outweighs the risk.  He's trying to preserve himself, and France by extension.

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ well that’s makes a lot of sense! I was so confused ☠️😂😂

Wench: Yup!  Btw I am STOKED for next episode… A lot is Athos-centric :) (And the rest is Porthos-centric, which is also awesome... though also sad)

Jezebel: Ooooo! 🙂 yusssss! I want to see Athos' character moreeee! 🙂  I still love Aramis! But I am ready for next episode too now to start loving Athos

Wench: Highly disappointed you don't already love him; for shame!  The intro scene was freaking priceless, I'll have you know!  And at least he doesn't make horrible decisions like flirting with the literal Queen!

Jezebel: You are not wrong 🙂 shush

Wench: Nevahhhh

Jezebel: Anyway… I just 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 I just don’t understand stand. The urge. Like I don’t dislike sex. At all. It’s quite nice actually ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ BUT I don’t understand people getting themselves in these predicaments with it like! YOU HAVE HANDS 😤😮‍💨☠️  Control yourself!  Same with d’Art! And his little whatever he has with Married Lady. And then the whatever he has with Milady. And it’s just. Sir.

Wench: alskdjf All very fair

Jezebel: And I love how d’Art was just borderline incompetent the whole episode. (I know that’s a bit over dramatic) but he was just careless with shit, and then just miraculously almost easily beats the guy in the final ghostly showdown ☠️☠️☠️

Wench: I definitely get it... and it kinda continues.  He's consistently the young, less competent one, but he's meant to be... you know, endearing.  He's learning, too, if I'm fair.  Which I make it a point never to be, but shhh (/hj)

Jezebel: Like the whole episode was just selectively DumDart like managing to get in with the bad guy then making every dumb decision after he does (or so he thinks he does… which he should have never just assumed the guy believed him anyway! Like he said he could read a person’s eyes. And he knew he was lying there so he should have smelled the bullshit ☠️😂)

Wench: Right (I can tell you’re still typing so I’ll respond at the end)

Jezebel: And d’Art, who we already know is just very him, has got this weird will they/won’t they thing going with Married Lady. And his blind fascination with the other lady (Milady)… who framed him for murder

Wench: This is very true

Jezebel: Then you got Flirt who just loved a married woman to her death (even though he doesn’t know it yet) then decides “you know what will take my mind off her…. Another married woman!” BUT NOT JUST ANY MARRIED WOMAN… THE QUEEEEEEN

Wench: asdflkjaldskfj  Yeah :)

Jezebel: Port was very quiet this ep. But his hat is large and I love it!

Wench: alskdjflakdsjf

Jezebel: And Athos was quiet too. But probably ‘cause he was contemplating finding a new career path because his comrades are all a little slow in the brain.

Wench: This is basically their dynamic throughout the show, to be fair.  Literally, it's a resting state.

Jezebel: Poor Athos ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: I adore him

Jezebel: I love it! 😂😂  Next episode tomorrow? 🙂

Wench: YESSSSSS

[zoi-no-miko]

OKAY HI @hypocriticaltypwriter I AM MOST EXPERT HERE IS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

#1 - Is this a good Kiefer movie?

Definitively, yes! You will enjoy the following:

Lots of Kiefer screen time and his own story arc

Looks Really Good with beard and long hair and a sword

Great character (loveable drunken asshole)

Great dialog

Very well acted - Kiefer clearly took this Seriously even though he really didn't have to

Did I mention Extremely Hot?

Delicious Angst

Eyefucks both Rebecca De Mornay AND Chris O'Donnel

#2 - Is this a good adaptation?

This is not an _accurate_ adaptation, but it is a VERY GOOD adaptation, especially compared to nearly every other Musketeer adaptation. Whoever wrote this for Disney understood very well that The Three Musketeers is meant to be a fun, swash-buckling adventure starring Loveable Assholes who might not be the best people and also like to Fuck Shit Up but things turn out okay in the end. This may mean some weird choices like Porthos being a Pirate, but they all serve the most important thing - A Fun Time.

If you've watched other Musketeer adaptations and thought any of the following: "god, why is everyone so depressed and dirty and why is it so dark and why is everybody so uppity and self-righteous and where the fuck did this airship come from and why did Aramis sleep with the QUEEN, qu'est-ce que FUCK??" Please know that I recognize and DEEPLY empathize with your trauma.

This adaptation will heal you.

#3 - Is this a good movie?

On top of all the reasons above, here are some things you should care about:

Tim Curry As Cardinal Richelieu, acting like the Musketeer version of his Long John Silver

Fantastic pacing

Things exploding, many sword fights and exciting costumes

Well lit!

Great soundtrack! (The 'credits single' with Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting is quintessential 90s lol)

Oliver Platt and Charlie Sheen are chef's kiss perfectly cast

Rebecca d'Mornay is an exceptional Milady DeWinter and great source of angst for our boy Kiefer (SABIIINNE!!!)

Chris O'Donnel still can't act but it suits d'Artagnan and he has fantastic poodle hair

Really, 1993 was the height of Disney making live action movies and nothing can convince me otherwise

Tim Curry. EATS. :D

In conclusion: Run, don't walk, to Disney Plus. And then buy it on DVD because you NEED to make sure you own this movie Forever.

So.... People's thoughts on the 1993 Three musketeers with Kiefer Sutherland....

Was it good or nah?👁👁

[starshipstories]

Anne & Aramis | Daylight

I made an Annamis edit. if anyone else still loves them, please consider watching it and leaving a like...

[tatzelwyrm]

[tatzelwyrm]

Milady of many colours

[tatzelwyrm]

100 % valid

reading notes to my WIP, a monster season 2 rewrite of the musketeers, i cannot believe my brain is so galactic. would read the fuck out of what i have written as notes/plot synopsis. but alas i haven't touched those documents in like 2 years lmao