#don't tell me I gotta start making vids myself these days.

[azmenka]

Maron Greyjoy | Champion

[self-shipping-hell]

What it's like having Lucifer as a dad

🍎 Both super protective and the worst instigator, there's no escape. Compromising is a fucking nightmare.

🍎 Not even joking, one second he's telling me to loosen up and live a little and the next he's yelling at me to go change because my shirt shows too much collarbone.

🍎 "If you want a tattoo here's how you're going to do it. And don't go to anyone else other than who I refer. I know their style, I'll be able to tell."

🍎 He's brought me breakfast in bed for "special occasions" but really I think he just likes me needing him sometimes. These special occasions range from my birthday to "It's the anniversary of the first night in your highschool's production of Hairspray where you played Hooker #2!"

🍎 I call him Luke a lot if I'm not calling him Dad. I also use father of mine a lot, to which he calls me child of mine.

🍎 Adopted me when I was well in highschool (AKA The show Lucifer came out when I was sixteen and I've seen him as a parental figure since lolololol)

🍎 Have had a conversation with someone that went along the lines of "You gotta check out this kink shop, they have everything!" "Yeahhhh, my dad goes there a lot, so I avoid it whenever possible." "Oh, you have a daddy?" "No, my literal father!" (Based on a vid I saw once and realized that'd be me with Lucifer as a father.)

🍎 If I had a nickel for every time someone thought I was his girlfriend that happened to be half his age, I'd have enough money to buy an electric chair and zap myself out of existence! :D

🍎 Tries to coach me on my singing, which leads to me proving I don't need it, which leads to him proving I do, which turns into a sing off.

🍎 Wants to teach me piano one day. I mentioned it once several years ago, but for some reason we just never get around to it.

🍎 Has seriously upped my expectations for a partner because he treats me so well, and he's unbelievably picky with who I introduce to him. He shouldn't be worried, they don't get to that stage if I don't think they have a chance.

🍎 Hilariously, I'm the one popping out the dad jokes while he's rolling his eyes praying to his dad for strength.

🍎 Apparently God is "not my grandpa", even if Lucifer's my dad, but I still call God gramps just to fuck with people.

🍎 He's ironically the most honest person, and it's to a fault sometimes.

🍎 Like, I'll be breaking down and he'll accidentally say something to make it worse while trying to comfort me with the truth. I appreciate it later, but sometimes the guy needs to read a room.

🍎 I'll call him whenever I miss him, even if it's the middle of the night. I know he'll drop everything to answer. Sometimes it's just because I want to talk or don't want to feel so alone while I'm trying to sleep.

🍎 Queue incident where he's on the brink of solving a case and suddenly I call from a different timezone like, "Dad, I can't sleep." "Hold on, pumpkin, I'll call you right back. Just two minutes, okay? [Turns to everyone else] We have a deadline now. Let's wrap things up, please!"

🍎 Reminds me to take care of myself in his Lucifer ways.

🍎 [grabs me by the face, effectively squishing my cheeks] "Why on Earth do your teeth look like that?" "I haven't brushed em in a minute. Stop it!" "Have you been cleaning your human enclosure?" "I've been sad." "Well, stop being sad, then! What'll it take, hm? A movie? Vodka? Do you need help getting a start on your room?" "No, I'll do it." "I'm sure you will, after we have a lovely stroll and get you a tea. [pats my cheek] Come along, child of mine!"

[yami-kada]

Mission 2

Recently I read a fanfic on AO3 called Interlude - Class 1-A by @itslivybear and was inspired a bit to write a fic based on that! Well really I got inspiration for a single line (you'll know it when you see it) and then had to write a whole thing to be able to share that one line, but oh well. This is my first time writing a chatfic or even any BNHA content at all, so I hope it doesn't suck! Thanks to @shadesofflame for being an awesome beta!

(Quick FYI in this AU M*neta and Bakugou are replaced with Shinsou and Monoma, sorry for any confusion. Also a name guide can be found at the bottom.)

RockSolid: Um, so.

RockSolid: Remember the missions during the Sports Festival?

PurpleGrape: Oh hell yeah.

PurpleGrape: Still cherish the look on that bastard's face.

Spoderman: jehxgjc Kiri I got it on video!!!

JazzHands: You've had video of the capture of the bounty this whole time and never showed us???

LSD: I thought we were friends Sero!

Spoderman: omg no not that I totally would have shared earlier if i did

Spoderman: im talking about That.

RockSolid: no Sero don't tell them!

RockSolid: it's embarrassing!

PikaCHU: Tell us, tell us!

NYOOM: Kaminari-kun! If Kirishima-kun wishes to keep his privacy, then it is our duty as his classmates to respect that!

Spoderman: ok but consider: he already gave them a major hint and they are about to POUNCE

BreadIsPain: As a witness as well, I must say that Kirishima was si attirant que j'ai failli m'évanouir~*

RockSolid: thanks, I think?

MOMo: To paraphrase Aoyama, he is essentially saying you were very manly, Kirishima!

RockSolid: aw thanks bro!! Don't believe you but thanks!

Spoderman: you take that lack of confidence back I have evidence right here that says you are super fucking manly!

LSD: ok please now we have to know so that we can show Kiri how great he is!!!

MOMo: I must admit that the commentary seen thus far has me rather curious as well.

RockSolid: You guys…

RockSolid: alright then, I'll tell you!

Spoderman: sweet ill pull it up!

RockSolid: bro don't you dare! my story, I get to tell it!

Spoderman: oh yeah of course bro!!

Spoderman: but if after you wanna show it then i am READY.

JazzHands: This is very sweet and all but I am very thirsty for this TEA.

RockSolid: on it!

Kirby: Kiri you've been typing for so long that I'm getting Izuku vibes here.

GreenGrape: Hey!

RockSolid: sorry! this is harder than I thought!

Spoderman: want me to start it off?

RockSolid: you know what, sure.

Spoderman: aight so,

Spoderman: Council, what qualifies as capturing the bounty?

GreenGrape: Guys no the bounty is over please no more bounty-hunting Kacchan.

MOMo: Your objection is noted and overruled, Izuku.

MOMo: For your question, Sero, I do not believe we ever set specific limitations on what qualified, but I was under the impression that it was limited to the Sports Festival. Why do you ask?

Spoderman: just double checking

Spoderman: because my bro here just totally shot both missions out of the park!!!

LSD: gaSP!!!

JazzHands: bOTH?!

RockSolid: no not both!! we have no confirmation for either, technically!

Kirby: Technically? What do you mean by that?

RockSolid: ahhhh ok so Sero and I were eating lunch in the courtyard because it was nice out, right?!

RockSolid: and we were chillin, being bros, birds were singing, all was good.

RockSolid: and then we heard a small explosion before the bounty walked in at the other end of the courtyard and started kicking at the wall.

PikaCHU: omg so angy.

RockSolid: and like fine, we can tune him out, just try to act like he's not there, you know?

RockSolid: But then he started yelling at random people in the courtyard, just acting pissed as hell.

PikaCHU: oMG so ANGY.

RockSolid: and that's just not manly at all, you know? going off on people like that just because you're in a bad mood.

GreenGrape: Yeah… that's Kacchan for you.

RockSolid: so he's making his way around the courtyard now, like everyone needs their daily dose of asshole for him to be happy, and the closer he got the more annoyed I got.

Spoderman: here it comes!

RockSolid: and eventually I get up, because I have had just about enough, and walk right up to him.

RockSolid: he doesn't see me coming, because he was too busy yelling at some girl, and I get right up behind him.

RockSolid: and then I just called out to get his attention, and spun him to face me while making sure I end up between him and the girl.

RockSolid: and well I told him off a little bit and got him to back off then left in a hurry.

RockSolid: and that's it!

Spoderman: oh no you don't

BreadIsPain: Oui! Monsieur Kirishima, you must tell the climax with just as much zest as the build-up!

Spoderman: what he said! no skipping out on the best part!

RockSolid: but!!!

Jacked: No buts, mister. We're all way too invested now for you to back down.

RockSolid: :(

RockSolid: fine! you win!

RockSolid: so uh when I got his attention, I also got my hand onto his shoulder, and used his surprise to knock his feet a bit off balance and pulled him back, but then I ended up with him in my arms and could tell he was about to start yelling so I just…

RockSolid: you know…

RockSolid: flirted?

LSD: oh my GoD this is great!!!

PikaCHU: Hell yeah Kiri! Go get yourself a manz!

RockSolid: I'm not getting a man! He's probably going to kill me the next time he sees me!

Spoderman: i dunno, it took him a good long while to reboot after what you said there

Spoderman: you might have a shot

PurpleGrape: Well if you're not going to get a man out of this, mind telling us what you said so I can bait him next time he tries to be an ass?

RockSolid: uhhh…

RockSolid: I'm nervous.

BreadIsPain: If you will allow me, I shall finish your tale off dazzlingly!

RockSolid: Thanks Aoyama.

BreadIsPain: Bien entendu!

BreadIsPain: While holding him in his arms tightly in a dip, faces inches apart, Monsieur Kirishima leaned impossibly closer to emphasize his point.

RockSolid: oh god I regret everything.

LSD: Hush, it's getting good!

BreadIsPain: With a growl to his voice and his eyes burning above a smirk, he said "You know, you're damn cute when you're angry, but you'd be downright sexy if you shut the fuck up." Then he straightened up to fling the lost soul to the side, and saunter off like the devil was guarding his back, leaving the bounty terribly confused in his wake.

PurpleGrape: Whoa.

PikaCHU: Holy shit?!

RockSolid: what is that description?!?!?!

JazzHands: Kiri that was PERFECT oh my god?!

LSD: It's ART is what it is!

Spoderman: don't forget how red the guy was! Kiri was cool as a cucumber but the other guy couldn't stop blushing after seeing his face!!!

MOMo pinned a message

RockSolid: Yaomomo!!!

MOMo: My apologies, Kirishima, but I felt it only right to ensure easy access to your most manly moment.

LSD: Yeah Kiri! Then one day we can all look back on this and celebrate how everything started!!

RockSolid: How what started???

LSD: E v e r y t h i n g

RockSolid: @Spoderman bro hide me I’m scared.

Spoderman: hey guys, wanna see a GREAT video?

Spoderman: the stars are our main man, Kiri, and the bounty!

PikaCHU: hell yeah!!!

Jacked: Lay it on me.

PurpleGrape: Sure.

JazzHands: Do you really have to ask????

RockSolid: but I already told you what happened!

RockSolid: why do you want to see me being so embarrassing?

PikaCHU: bro we all appreciate you so much of course we want to see you being manly!

LSD: Just from what you all said there is no way you don’t look great in that vid, Kiri!

PikaCHU: gotta give support where support is due!!

PurpleGrape: They’ll all bully Sero into showing them one way or another anyways, might as well give in now.

RockSolid: but...

BreadIsPain: Nous devons vous montrer à quel point vous brillez et dissiper ces pensées douteuses!**

MOMo: I could not have said it better myself, Aoyama!

RockSolid: I don’t even know what he said though?!?!?!?!?!?!

Spoderman: Kiri.

Spoderman: Bro.

Jacked: Well shoot he’s using proper grammar and everything.

Spoderman: Rude.

Spoderman: Anyways Bro.

RockSolid: yeah?

Spoderman: You are epic. This video shows you being epic. And putting an asshole in their place.

Spoderman: You have nothing to be ashamed of, and every reason to be proud. So please let me show the video so that everyone can appreciate you like you deserve bro.

RockSolid: bro…

Spoderman: Bro.

RockSolid: bro -

Spoderman: Bro?

RockSolid: bro!

Spoderman: aight everyone down to the common room its up on the big screen

Spoderman: i have popcorn too

Jacked: Not even gonna question that.

LSD: Finally!!!

JazzHands: Yuss!!!

BreadIsPain: Je vais regarder avec enthousiasme!***

MOMo: As will all of us I’m sure, Aoyama!

RockSolid: Thanks guys!

RockSolid: Now get down here and watch me maybe get a man!

Translations:

*so attractive that I almost swooned.

**We must show you how much you shine, and dispel those self-doubting thoughts!

***I shall excitedly watch!

Guide to names:

GreenGrape - Izuku

PurpleGrape - Hitoshi

CopyCat - Monoma Neito

MOMo - Yaoyorozu Momo

datBoi - Asui Tsuyu

JazzHands - Hagakure Toru

NYOOM - Iida Tenya

SnowWhite - Kouda Kouji

LifeIsPain - Tokoyami Fumikage

BreadIsPain - Aoyama Yuga

Kirby - Uraraka Ochaco

LSD - Ashido Mina

PikaCHU - Kaminari Denki

RockSolid - Kirishima Eijiro

RipHarambe - Ojiro Mashirao

IcyHot - Todoroki Shoto

MuffinMan - Sato Rikido

Octodad - Shouji Mezou

Jacked - Jirou Kyoka

Spoderman - Sero Hanta

[elektroblues]

hello!! Idk if you've already done sth like this, but your three favorite DM songs (or anything between 3 and 10 :^)) and whhyy? 

HELLO!! <3 i'll do top three bc i love talking on here and i have such a hard time articulating how much these songs mean to me so i end up rambling but then i also hate talking so much ahah so

1. Stripped

- i mean this so sincerely but this is one of the best songs ever in any genre i literally never get tired of it. STORY TIME. i was 15 and my most most most fave band at the time was rammstein and on one of my trips to wikipedia i read that the only time till sang full english on a song was for a song called "stripped. then i found out it was a cover (but at this point i knew a few dm songs, didn't think much of them though), but i also could't listen to it then and there bc i was in class lol soooo i just looked up the lyrics and my jaw dropped. at that point i didn't care much abt my music taste but when i read mart's lyrics oughhbgbghg he's just like me fr. and i guess i gotta say it reminded me of "to you" by walt whitman (and i was in my walt whitman phase i fear) so that was a bonus. then on the jeepney ride home i got to listen to it and my jaw fucking dropped. the synths just blew me away!

for a while i just listened to the og and rammstein's cover back-to-back and didn't think to delve much into dm. then about a month after i turned 16, "more than this" by roxy music was my fave song (ALSO A RLLY GOOD SONG) and i found this yt playlist with it and 'stripped" and some other 80s songs. i used to binge those vids every night so that also started my love for 80s music ig. anyway i watched he mv for "stripped" and i went that one guy's kinda cute i guess 🧍‍♀️ AND THEN THE FUCKING. SYNTH PART WITH ALAN'S HUGEASS FACE BEHIND DAVE HAPPENED and i was like ah fuck. anyway that same month i saved my first picture of a dm member, which was alan, and then i hadn't been normal abt them since sjfmsbdjhdej so stripped is the song that started it all! :D

idk i just love it so much ☹ when i go a few months not going insane over dm then come back to this song and the video, i still get butterflies in my stomach it's sick (ok that's probably mostly bc of alan but still shbfjjdhd). but it's also so comforting. i think it's one of those songs where no matter how i'll grow i'll fall in love with it again and again. it's just this song just has so many nice memories attached to it <3 wouldn't know who i'd be if i hadn't heard it

2. The Sun and The Rainfall

- this one just make me really happy i never get tired of it too <3 i listen to it on repeat literally whenever i feel extreme happiness or sadness and no in between. idk idk it's just such a cute little song??#,=,#?' i have a soft spot for it esp since ppl (the very wrong ppl on dm reddit for example SMH) usually dismiss it and abf bc alan wasn't involved but like, it's a great testament to dm's early potential and charm and anyone who dislikes tsar is WRONG AND DOESNT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. and im gonna be so basic for this but, "you're the one i like best, you retain my interest" is my fave dm lyric 🚶‍♀️ don't tell anyone except the ppl who happen to click read more on this HDNBDNJSKHDDJ

3. The Things You Said

- first time i heard this was also the first time i watched 101. i was sitting outside our house and when i heard the melody i cried PLSDNDBSMDBMDHSJD it was nothing like i've ever heard before fr synth music was making me Emotional those days (me when i lie, it still makes me cry lol) bc before dm i mostly liked listening to rock and whatnot. it rlly was just a nice night, me listening to dm by myself outside. pretty uneventful experiece but i still look back at it fondly. plus the 101 performance —mart's DIVINE vocals, alan on the synth and bg vocals making me insane, THE BISEXUAL LIGHTING— is just UGH. CHEF'S KISS.

i didn't proofread this so 😭😭 also p sure i cried to all of these at one point lmaooooo

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Who won then? 🥊 Janis: But actual, you alright, yeah? Jimmy: you don't know me, I forgot Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: Nah, had money on you and everything Janis: 👍 glad to hear it Jimmy: feeling like a winner 'til I try & come back in from my 🚬 & find he's locked me out Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Truly your kryptonite Janis: Cass'd open a window for ya Jimmy: not if it means round 2 Jimmy: she's #overit Janis: Might go as far as to say #fakefan Janis: you know you can come here if you actually need Janis: probably don't mention me by name though Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: who's about? Jimmy: not trying to walk in on a 🥊 with Gracie Janis: Get it, she's a lot when you ain't #overit yourself Janis: just her and my two younger brothers, who are really not gonna bother with you so Janis: get her under strict instructions, like Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: I'll let you know Janis: Try all the windows first, yeah Janis: Shoulda trained Twix to pick locks, my bad Jimmy: You literally had one job, mate Jimmy: get it together Janis: 😞 I know Janis: That's why he's really pissed, all that time I've been wasting when she coulda been a superdog by now Jimmy: you've let yourself down, that dog down & MOST importantly, you've let me down Jimmy: Oh Janet Janis: 💔 Janis: Really gonna think on what I've done Janis: and haven''t Jimmy: I woulda shown you the door if you hadn't legged it that way yourself sharpish Jimmy: so mad, like Janis: That's me, walk 'fore you make me run Janis: Soz to deprive you of that chance Janis: final fuck you, like Jimmy: if I come to yours, you gonna make it up to me? Janis: Obviously Janis: did you SO wrong gotta make it so right again, like Jimmy: I'll start walking now then Jimmy: Gotta make me hard done by enough for 🥇 Janis: Are you gonn get lost? Janis: 'cos get a safe enough distance from yours and I can come find you, like Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Not an answer, lover boy Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: there you are Janis: Helpful Janis: Send out an SOS if you do then? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: He say anything you ain't heard at least 1000xs before then? Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: that'd mean he has to know what's going on Janis: Standard Janis: fun to pretend, we get it Jimmy: probably called you by the ex's name at one point Janis: Fair, he ain't asked and I ain't told but embarrassing for you sir Jimmy: he knows your name, Bobby ain't shut up 'bout you since the other day Jimmy: he loved it Janis: He's a babe Jimmy: ain't gonna stay like it living here & hearing that Janis: 😕 Janis: You're alright, ain't you Janis: just have to learn he's full of shit like you and Cass, like, which yeah Janis: shit Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I know Janis: Grace's mood is catching Janis: 😷 Jimmy: what's with her? Jimmy: did Mia die? Janis: I WISH Janis: fuck mourning we'd be having a party rn Janis: they're not friends currently Janis: long and short of it Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: gutted I got nowt on here to wipe my tears on Jimmy: out* Janis: I hope you put clothes on Janis: rookie error otherwise Jimmy: you didn't stick round long enough to take 'em off Jimmy: your rookie error Jimmy: not gonna ruin my fancy shit though, am I? Janis: you know I'm gutted Janis: you looked so Janis: 😍 Jimmy: [selfie] Jimmy: change the tense Jimmy: still do tah Janis: 💪 still got it, kid Janis: unlike your father Jimmy: what's more goals than a #glowup Janis: I've been cute since birth so I don't know 💁 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'd say #same but there ain't that many 📷 of me to prove it Janis: I wish but you know Janis: kids are kinda my parent's thing so even at #7 & #8 they were disgustingly extra 😒 Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I trapped mine, more of a 'happy' accident Jimmy: less fun to document maybe Janis: reckon most first kids are, second and third even but after that like Janis: you know what you're doing here Janis: just didn't have your 📷 skillz Janis: baby you judging Jimmy: yeah, on my list, top one Janis: List of grievances? Janis: stick it on his windshield as you go Jimmy: 👍 deal Janis: Twix says she wants to add her own Janis: screenshotting this convo for her obvs #justgirlythings Jimmy: 🤞 she'll piss in his shoes when I ain't there to take her out in the morning Janis: Will you 💕 her then? Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: If it's a shit I might not kick her out Jimmy: tell your friend Janis: You want a companion out there in the cold, you just have to ask baby 🐶💕 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I do Janis: I didn't wanna leave but you know, for the best obviously Janis: I'll come get you forreal Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: put your running to use Janis: It's got uses Janis: 💪 Janis: but k, lemme take this ugly ass dress off first Jimmy: why did you wear it if you hate it? Janis: for the #goals Janis: it felt appropriate so I knicked it Janis: just from one of my sisters, not that rich bitch stereotype Jimmy: that'd be more #goals Jimmy: steal me better clobber if you love me, tah Janis: 😍 when he slowly introduces you to a life of crime Janis: that's how I saw this date ending fosho Jimmy: for real though don't do it again Janis: Why? Jimmy: 'Cause I like you Jimmy: we want 'em to know that Jimmy: #asyouare and all that bollocks Janis: Okay Janis: miss you a bit Jimmy: so come get me Janis: I am Janis: not that fast Jimmy: get it together, girl Jimmy: sprint not a marathon Janis: 😑 Good thing you're cute Jimmy: slowing yourself down with ugly dresses & 😍 Jimmy: what ARE you playing at Janis: Mean Janis: gonna go cry myself to sleep now instead Jimmy: you want some classic FM? Jimmy: bit of 🎻 Janis: You are rude and me and Pete are gonna bond over it Jimmy: I hope he likes dogs Jimmy: gotta know his place in the pecking order Janis: Make him get a dog with me Janis: how #goals 😍 Jimmy: you gonna move it too or make him do all the work? Jimmy: in* Janis: Probs depends how much his fam hate me Jimmy: you going for 🥇? Jimmy: or is that just for me Janis: You know you're special, babe 😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: though feel bad for him, Gracie shaded him and didn't have the heart to tell her he's the love of my life 💔 Jimmy: feel worse if you did 'cause she'd be after him Janis: that's her type exclusively 😂 Jimmy: knew it Janis: plan backfired, she'll not leave you alone now, soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: really fucked me over you Janis: I know Janis: Good thing you're chucking me init Jimmy: good thing it ain't raining too 'cause if I was waiting in that for a kiss that ain't coming Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: who said I ain't gona kiss ya Janis: not getting nothing out that date tah, who am I Jimmy: you not saving 'em all for Pete? bit rude Jimmy: & I bought you loads of drinks, rich girl Jimmy: that's not nowt Janis: I can have it all, babe Janis: including at least two lads on the go Janis: yeah that's braggable, got me drunk and didn't even try to fuck me 😒 Jimmy: It ain't braggable that you're a pisshead in love with my co-worker but here we are Janis: 😱 say how you really feel Janis: and I am not drunk how dare you Jimmy: do the touch your nose bollocks on your way Jimmy: send me the vid Janis: 😂 Janis: see that up on the 'gram be fuming Janis: I'm a sophisticated lady Jimmy: like I said, just don't dress like one again Janis: Did I look that bad? Jimmy: You looked good, you can't not Jimmy: but I could tell you didn't want it Janis: Not really my style but neither are dates Jimmy: You had a shit time then? Janis: Nah Janis: it was just like hanging out Janis: I don't know why I thought otherwise, maybe a real one is dead awks like everyone bangs on Jimmy: it is if you ain't got nowt to chat on Jimmy: or you don't eat Janis: 🙄 I can imagine Janis: what a waste of money above all else like just lemme fuck you why are we pretending Jimmy: they got money for the #flex Jimmy: not an issue for you rich kids Jimmy: harder pretending that you don't wanna/ain't gonna fuck before the main course Janis: calling me a slag tho Janis: ruuuuuuuuuuuude Jimmy: collective you Jimmy: I know you ain't Jimmy: Unless you were only a fake virgin Janis: now you calling me frigid Janis: yeah, what I always say Janis: like, alright love, 'course you are Jimmy: some lads are into that Jimmy: just wanna be the first instead of 🥇 Janis: mhmm Janis: what's sexier than total inexperience to mask your own lack of skillz Janis: not a drag Jimmy: it's why Mia's just lie there technique is so popular Jimmy: god bless Janis: Want me to start doing than from now on? Janis: okay Jimmy: Piss off do I Jimmy: I never said she's my type Jimmy: have said the opposite Janis: well I don't know what that means sexually Janis: you want me to tell you you look like alex turner in his prime or?? Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: firstly I look better than him and secondly bollocks Jimmy: You know what I like Janis: 😂 Janis: Okay okay Janis: true and 🤞 true Jimmy: truest that you need to have a word with yourself if you don't reckon I love fucking you Janis: 😳 Jimmy: I miss you too, yeah Jimmy: more than Pete does anyway Janis: I don't think that was really a question Janis: but good to know I ain't walking all this way for nothing Jimmy: don't ever ask him Jimmy: stay with me Janis: I'm not going to, I don't like him Janis: I like you Jimmy: alright Janis: alright alright or shut up alright? Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I don't want you to shut up Jimmy: I told you, I miss you Janis: Sorry I left Jimmy: Sorry my dad's a fucking bellend Janis: Yeah same but not on my behalf Janis: no worries seriously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Do you need anything, just passing a shop so be quick Jimmy: like what? Janis: I dunno Janis: you might have some fancy nighttime routines I'm not aware of Janis: or want some more 🚬s Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you've stayed at mine loads, how you reckon you don't know what I'm up to? Jimmy: that's a good shout though fuck knows where I've walked to but been 🚬 all the way Jimmy: #goals like Janis: I'm just trying to be a good hostess 'scuse you Janis: I mean you do look hot doing it so Janis: cancer smancer gotta die somehow kid Jimmy: saves my dad a job Jimmy: & yeah I get it rich girl, your house is fancy, pick me up a ballgown or whatever Janis: Not if he wants to keep his free childcare, think on, like Janis: It ain't it's just big Janis: not fitting us all in a 2 up 2 down, think it thru Ma and Da Jimmy: You gonna introduce me? Janis: If you wanna Jimmy: not what I most wanna do but a bit rude if I just walk in like a horny mute Jimmy: only one of us is pulling that off babe Janis: SHUT UP 😫 Janis: you don't have to they won't care but if we see them Janis: hopefully I won't die of embarrassment Jimmy: calm down, Jenna Jimmy: don't wanna lose your voice Janis: you mean you don't want me to, boy Jimmy: maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: #blatant Janis: we can be as loud as we like, the only other person downstairs is my brother Diego and he's deaf so Janis: thanks kid, unexpected solid there Jimmy: for real or like how your hippie brother wished he was blind the other day Janis: IOU so much more than petrol money 😳 Jimmy: I fucked myself over mentioning that though Jimmy: can't stop thinking 'bout it now Janis: It was Janis: good Janis: really fucking good Jimmy: don't say owt more I'm trying to walk Janis: 😶 Janis: was though Jimmy: yeah I know Jimmy: & I wanted you so bad before I thought 'bout it Jimmy: I just did Janis: I know Janis: It's hard doing anything with you that isn't fucking Janis: you're just very distracting at all times Jimmy: You are Jimmy: hate you a bit Janis: hate you too Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: got the 🚬s Janis: if I couldn't and they'd carded me that woulda been a fail Janis: #flex Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: so proud babe Janis: it's the legs Jimmy: & 'cause you ain't wearing that dress Jimmy: but tah for the reminder I'll try & breathe Janis: floral dresses defs a way to look 6 or 86 Janis: not a mood and the 20 year old with bum fluff serving me agrees Jimmy: he better not be agreeing too hard Jimmy: I'll give him a smack Jimmy was timed out 15 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 14 hours ago Janis joined the chat 14 hours ago Janis: 😂 you're good at that bit Janis: the protective boyfriend Jimmy: don't take the piss Janis: It's okay, very #goals of you 😍 Jimmy: just 'cause I let you win one play fight Jimmy: don't mean I ain't hard, alright Janis: 😏 Mhmm Janis: so impressive, babe Jimmy: now it just sounds like you want me to fight him Jimmy: get your 📷 out Janis: Obviously Janis: I'm that bitch Janis: #proveyourself Jimmy: stay there then Jimmy: I'll find my way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You're ridiculous Jimmy: nah #goals Jimmy: you already outed yourself, mate Jimmy: I know you want it Janis: 😒 piss off Janis: not my #goals Janis: theirs Janis: any sign that you care's'a huge pantydropper, obvs Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Poor Kev Jimmy: first name terms, yeah? Jimmy: back on your bollocks, Jasmine Janis: Only go for boys with nametags Janis: that's my secret Janis: would help you loads Jimmy: nowt secret 'bout it, love Janis: Calling me blatant? Janis: This was your plan, boy Jimmy: driving me to it, girl Janis: so 😠 yeah Jimmy: so 💪 Jimmy: I'll just spark him out & we'll go Janis: Nerd Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: & you want me Janis: Maybe Janis: but you're coming for Kev Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm coming for you, baby Jimmy: show him you're #mine Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: if I don't get lost Jimmy: nowt #goals 'bout me just wandering Janis: You're adorable Jimmy: piss off Janis: You are though Janis: how Janis: very rude of you Jimmy: rude of you to keep on when I'm trying to be tough Jimmy: & ain't even gonna mention that it's a bit cold Janis: Stop Janis: Ruining my rep here as well Jimmy: you alright? 'cause you ain't having my jacket, mate Jimmy: I don't like you that much Janis: Don't want it anyway Janis: back to looking 🔥 Janis: tah very much Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: fucking brutal you Janis: can't have it both ways mate Jimmy: can I have you not shitting on my #aesthetic Janis: 😂 Janis: You must do something right Janis: not in #scruffy camp with poor Pete and the white girl w dreads Jimmy: chat to me 'bout that then Jimmy: you love calling me pretty Janis: Shh Jimmy: go on, I could be close to death here Janis: only if Kev fucks you up Janis: you really want the last thing I say to you to be you're pretty Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: what do you want your last words to me to be then? Janis: Not gonna spoil it Janis: wait and see Jimmy: I get it, you wanna call me a dickhead one last time Jimmy: 👍 Janis: You know you'd rather Jimmy: I'd rather you just kiss me Jimmy: if I'm gonna go anyway Janis: That's what I'll do then Janis: such a hardship for me, obvs but you know Janis: just that generous Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: why you're 🥇 Janis: Tell me that 'fore you go, alright Jimmy: I'll force the words out for you, darling Janis: Tryna walk here Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: where are you? 'cause I don't wanna walk anymore Jimmy: not for a bit Janis: Stay put and put your location on Janis: I'll find you Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't fuck it up Jimmy: one job, you know Janis: Please Janis: these are my ends, like it or not Jimmy: tell it to that bus driver you pissed off with your bollocks, babe Janis: 😒 Janis: still your fault Jimmy: yours Jimmy: unless you wake up looking different, always is Janis: convenient Janis: but not that mad about it Jimmy: I'm mad 'bout how slow you are Jimmy: what kind of athlete Janis: If you shut up I'll get there faster Janis: chatterbox Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: #shaded Janis: you know I like it when you're loud too Jimmy: you shoulda stayed for the 🥊 Jimmy: love shouting me Janis: Let your Da fully appreciate without my #distracting presence Jimmy: I'm sure he'll say tah when he next sees you Janis: 😏 Janis: I see you though, for now Jimmy: Can't see you, just some random Jimmy: dunno who she could be Janis: oh yeah? Janis: gonna go with her then or what Jimmy: might do Jimmy: she's got nice hair Jimmy: & legs Janis: she looking your way? Janis: [is, duh] Jimmy: good eyes too I reckon Janis: Sounds like you're well in Jimmy: sorry mate means you're out Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Gutted Janis: gonna leave for you start making a scene then Jimmy: It's been #real Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [kisses her really intensely 'cause they gotta save this night] Janis: What was that for? Jimmy: job well done? Jimmy: you got here Janis: your faith in me was so encouraging, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: [kisses her again so he don't say something embarrassing about how much faith he has cos no boy] Janis: You're cute, boy Janis: come back to mine Jimmy: I will just Jimmy: gimme a Janis: [Kisses him] Janis: that? Jimmy: & a sec Jimmy: so I can Jimmy: [kisses her again too 'cause distract him from how much a prick his dad is thank you babe] Janis: We don't have to go there straight away Janis: whatever you want, within the confines of this shithole, obvs Jimmy: you know I want you Jimmy: I don't care Janis: [amps it up no chill ever lads] Jimmy: [Takes off his coat & puts it on the floor so they can lie on it & pulls her down onto it for more kisses 'cause same] Janis: Such a romantic, you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Need a car Janis: making dogging low-rent us and that's saying something Jimmy: I'll nick one for us Jimmy: give you those life of crime goals Janis: 😍 damn daddy Janis: I'm driving though, deal with it Jimmy: I'll take my dad's then Jimmy: no 💔 if you crash it Janis: 'scuse you Janis: I can drive bitch Jimmy: only got your word for that, Janet Jimmy: & ain't gonna be your bitch if you can Janis: 👎 boo Janis: hit up all the other 15 y/os that'll blow me for lifts if you gonna be like that Jimmy: [kisses her to shut her up] Jimmy: what if that's how I'm gonna be? Jimmy: what you gonna do? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lemme think Jimmy: [more kisses while she's thinking] Janis: You drive a hard bargain Janis: alright, we can still be mates Jimmy: yeah very hard me Jimmy: told you Janis: Prove it Jimmy: [pins her down in a sexy way for a hot make out sesh] Janis: I really missed you Janis: it wasn't even that long but everything is shit and boring when you ain't around Jimmy: I'd say prove it, but I reckon you have Janis: [Proves it some more, get up and go lads] Jimmy: I Jimmy: fucking hell Jimmy: we need to go Jimmy: or I'm just gonna fuck you here Janis: as much as I don't care Janis: all your Da needs is actual fuel to hate me more so Janis: let's avoid getting arrested tonight, like Jimmy: [helps her up and turns it into a hug 'cause he needs one not sorry] Janis: [Hugs back properly and for ages 'cos knows it] Janis: Come on then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [morning after but later when he's at work not early af when he left] Jimmy: Morning, Jillian Jimmy: how's it treating you? Janis: Impressed you managed to walk of shame without getting lost Janis: lowkey bit miffed you hmu, thought I'd finally got rid of ya when you weren't here, like but Janis: how 'bout you regardless Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll go then Jimmy: reckoned you'd wanna know it's dickhead day here at the CG so you could get yourself down Jimmy: had 'em all in, my dad included Janis: Serious Janis: how desperate and shaming, sir Janis: other places to get an overpriced espresso Jimmy: but nowhere you can get away with treating your server like shit & still get to finish Janis: 😒 Janis: so hard up for entertainment he had to have 'round two, like Janis: fuck off Jimmy: so desperate for proof of life after one night gone he can't accept a fuck you text like a normal person at that time of the morning Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Suddenly arsed, okay Jimmy: I can go anywhere I want as long as I end up under his roof Jimmy: on me own Janis: 👍 Assuming he wanted to go meet his newest then Janis: all fun Jimmy: tah for reminding me Jimmy: family dinner thursday Jimmy: come looking like the #badinfluence you are babe Janis: Yeah? Janis: knew he loved me 😏 Jimmy: I'm inviting you 'cause I do Jimmy: & you owe me that Janis: so you want me to piss your Dad off more? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & let his girlfriend now what she's getting into Jimmy: know* Jimmy: if she's gonna stick around for more than a night Jimmy: Me & Cass will do our bit, not all on you Janis: Alright Janis: Solid plan Janis: I'm in Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: he's cooking, tell your dad & maybe we can get that shit cancelled before it happens Janis: 😂 Janis: no one wants to make it that much of a family affair Janis: be more horrified and can't really blame him Jimmy: 💔 all around Janis: deffo the mood he's going for Jimmy: I know you're not into it but if you could seduce this bird it'd save me a job Janis: what's she look like Janis: you know yet Jimmy: nah Jimmy: could try & guess based on the last but he really ain't fussy Jimmy: or as committed to a #type as you reckon I am Janis: She ain't got at least 5 piercings and you out Janis: take one for the team Jimmy: tah Janis: be #troubling if she was your type Janis: next step in a midlife crisis surely, younger woman Jimmy: easier for me to fake date her & 💔 him though Janis: Beats the cliche of him stealing your girlfriend Janis: very porn plot this Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 🤞 MILF Jimmy: as long as she ain't got any kids Jimmy: the last one did & she was always trying to organise playdates Janis: Eurgh Janis: own siblings are bad enough Jimmy: didn't have a hot teenage daughter or nowt Jimmy: step it up, Valerie Janis: Un🍀 Jimmy: what you doing with your day? Janis: Gotta start prep now, obvs Janis: whole military operation you know Janis: give a bitch 3-5 working days notice next time Jimmy: you've got a bit Jimmy: not like its tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 yeah Janis: 😭😭😭 Janis: NO JIMMY Janis: gonna look such a state now OMG Jimmy: just don't borrow owt from your sister & you won't have anything to bond with our honored guest over Jimmy: job done Janis: 🙄 she probably has a moodboard waiting for the day, like Jimmy: #sisterbonding Jimmy: how goals Janis: piss off Janis: defs don't owe you that much Jimmy: I'm gonna owe you loads of compensation for the cancer 'cause of all the 🚬 we gotta do Jimmy: my dad hates when I leave the table for it Jimmy: #deathwishinalltheways Janis: 😂 Janis: how many ways can you show him up Janis: challenge forreal Jimmy: wait 'til I start touching you up under the table, mate Jimmy: he's gonna be livid Janis: 😳 Janis: boy Jimmy: you turning down the challenge already? Janis: 'Course not Janis: #dedicated Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: why I like you Janis: Who else gonna come family dinner and fuck shit up, like Janis: duh Jimmy: If I told them I'll do more than play footsie with 'em probably a fair few lasses but Janis: shut up Janis: nuuh Jimmy: you shut up Jimmy: I want you to do it Janis: 🙄 Janis: whatever Jimmy: whatever yourself, dickhead Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you love yourself so much, like Janis: 😏 Jimmy: & that's what you like 'bout me Janis: Sure Janis: no convincing you otherwise so ain't wasting my breath Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: lucky you ain't here Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: 💔 gutted I ain't 😍😍😍 Janis: Pervert Jimmy: won't tell you how adorable you look when you sleep then 😘 Janis: Good Janis: I ain't adorable don't be trying to spread that about Janis: cheek Jimmy: 👼 you Janis: Actually such a wind-up merchant Janis: ugh Jimmy: you love it, Jennifer Janis: Hmm clearly Janis: or I'm a sucker for the pain Jimmy: I get it, you're hurting being away from me Janis: yeah, every minute feels like an hour, babe Janis: 'specially the more you chat on Jimmy: I know Jimmy: It really aches, yeah Jimmy: you just Jimmy: need me Janis: don't make me actually miss you Janis: gotta get things done today, like Janis: can't stay in bed waiting and dreaming 😏 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: rich girl fantasy Jimmy: it ain't my top one but it's the easiest for you to get done Jimmy: no effort like Janis: Tick it off my to-do list Janis: hmu with the rest Jimmy: I can't if I ain't allowed to miss you Janis: not on the clock, has your manager put a ban on Janis: Pete so highkey Janis: bless Jimmy: 😂 Janis: would love to run the place into the ground to piss off my sister but not gonna fuck w ur funds like that Janis: bit rude Jimmy: fuck it school starts soon Jimmy: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that much of a dickhead day yeah Janis: poor boy Jimmy: blasting classic FM Jimmy: full orchestra mood Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 😎 Janis: So cute how you dellude yourself Janis: 💕 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're meant to be making me feel not shit Jimmy: one job, like Janis: 😘 love you Jimmy: only works if you 😗 me in person Janis: you want me to come in later Jimmy: do you wanna? Jimmy: shit to do, yeah Janis: Not THAT much shit Janis: girl gotta eat Jimmy: in it for the smoothies Jimmy: & bacon sarnies Janis: what else? 🤷 Jimmy: pay up then, rich girl Janis: That's how it is now, yeah? Janis: gonna hit me with a massive tab to pay Jimmy: it's out of control Jimmy: sort it out, mate Jimmy: 👌 Janis: thought you was adding it to my sister's Janis: actually 💔 Jimmy: I will from now on Jimmy: least I know I'll get it Janis: 😱 Janis: invite her to dinner if she's so reliable Jimmy: the IT couple would like her too much Jimmy: nah tah Jimmy: not the plan Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: your grasp on compliments needs work Jimmy: alright dickhead Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: what do you wanna hear? Janis: nothing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't matter Janis: forget about it Jimmy: don't be faking there's nowt wrong now Jimmy: what Janis: Seriously, it's nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when everyone chats how nice she is Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: I was saying she's #basic & so are they Janis: yeah Janis: it's fine then Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: bring some enthusiasm with you into it Janis: 😒 Janis: don't push it Jimmy: don't chat that it's fine if it ain't Janis: oh my god Janis: boy Jimmy: you're testing me, girl Janis: shut up Janis: haven't you got a shitty customer to go deal with or something Jimmy: yeah but your bollocks takes priority Janis: feel so special Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: & stop Janis: alright Janis: later then yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: am i coming at lunch or nah Jimmy: do you wanna or nah? Janis: so helpful Janis: yeah whatever Janis: gym is close anyway and that's where I'm headed next so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bring some enthusiasm with you Jimmy: saving it for when you show up Jimmy: gotta give the fans what they want Janis: 'course Janis: that's what really counts Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll have my 😍😍 fixed & ready like Jimmy: too much enthusiasm for the CG Janis: That's just your customer service style Janis: I be knowing Jimmy: ask your sister Jimmy: it ain't Janis: 💔 -her Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: such a heartbreaker boy Jimmy: hit my ex up Jimmy: she'll chat on it for ages Janis: well you had to do something pretty bad for her to steal your man Janis: figured Jimmy: 'course Janis: 💀 Jimmy: did you just die? Jimmy: no warning, tah Janis: the conversation did Janis: but good to know I gotta give you my notice 'fore I kms Janis: wasn't clear in the deal Jimmy: write me a letter Jimmy: it'll look great on the 'gram Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna fully blame you and ruin your life from beyond the grave Jimmy: figured Jimmy: already said ages ago what a nightmare you are Janis: I remember Janis: twat Jimmy: #inspo for your note then Janis: what you being annoying for Jimmy: Me? Jimmy: you Janis: No I ain't Jimmy: actually piss off then Janis: Fuck you Jimmy: nah Jimmy: you won't Janis: Very mature Jimmy: soz I didn't realise I'd added my dad to the chat Jimmy: hang on Janis: 😑 Janis: There's no point even trying right now is there Jimmy: do you even wanna try making that sound like a question Janis: What have I done Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: it's all me Jimmy: we established that Janis: 🙄 Janis: Yeah go on then Janis: if it makes you feel better Janis: go for your life Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah for the permission Janis: So welcome Jimmy: felt it Janis: What? Jimmy: so welcoming you Janis: Yeah fuck me for inviting you 'round Janis: what a nightmare Jimmy: leave it out Janis: whatever Janis: not gonna force you to be grateful Janis: not what it was Jimmy: why say it then? Jimmy: sounds like that is what you want, rich girl Janis: no Janis: it ain't Janis: I want you to stop being like this but I ain't gonna beg Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: could've been hot but alright Janis: it ain't funny Janis: shut up Jimmy: I told you to piss off Jimmy: how many times do I have to? Janis: I can do what I want Janis: mute me if you're so arsed Jimmy: you're so good at that yourself Jimmy: no need Janis: Ha Janis: good one Jimmy: not just a #prettyface Jimmy: why I kill in tips Janis: Obviously Janis: not your coffee Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: book your slot for comedy open mic, babe Janis: Too much like work Janis: with this bank account? Janis: fuck off Jimmy: must've got you confused with my other fake girlfriend again Jimmy: soz Janis: maybe one day you'll get a real one and she'll help you keep track Jimmy: if I get a real one there's no room for fake Jimmy: job done Janis: Rooting for you Jimmy: again, no need Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: Do it then Jimmy: what are you trying to challenge me for? Jimmy: if I wanted one we wouldn't be here Janis: Nah Jimmy: what? Janis: I said what I said Jimmy: & I didn't understand it Jimmy: so Janis: Call it a language barrier Jimmy: just tell me what you're going on about Janis: Why would I want to Janis: more to take the piss outta me for, yeah, no tah Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Exactly Jimmy: if you can say something once & act like you stand by it you can say it again so I get it Janis: Why don't you want a girlfriend then Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: got enough going on Janis: Okay Jimmy: you wanna try that again? Jimmy: weren't convinced Janis: Shut up Janis: how is it any less time consuming fake dating then Jimmy: it ain't Jimmy: but we've got a deal Janis: It can be done Jimmy: is that what you want? Janis: I probably won't come out of it looking the best but I'll make it work Jimmy: not what I asked, was it Janis: Think what you want about me but I'm not trying to make your life harder Janis: let's get that straight Jimmy: what the fuck are you thinking if you reckon that's what I'm saying Jimmy: never did Janis: Are you serious, you literally just did Janis: you've got enough on, it's time-consuming Janis: don't act like I've pulled it out my arse Jimmy: nah you've just twisted it on the exit out Jimmy: I ain't got time to go looking for a girlfriend is what I said Janis: You would if you weren't doing this Jimmy: maybe but I am doing it Jimmy: I told you, we've got a deal Jimmy: I'm not just fucking off out of it Janis: Well I said you could Janis: you can't choose to keep doing it and make it my fault when I've given you an out Jimmy: well I don't want to Jimmy: & nowts your fault so shut up Janis: that ain't how it feels Jimmy: how's it feel then? Janis: like you're taking every opportunity to remind me of how much of a fucking hardship it is and how badly you don't wanna do it Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know that ain't how it is Janis: That's how you're being Janis: how it seems Janis: which is pretty fucking shitty considering Jimmy: considering what? Jimmy: you let me in your big, fancy house or have we moved on to summat else now? Janis: Don't Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: don't what, tell you how you made it sound? Jimmy: like you did some huge fucking favor to me Janis: That's not what I meant Janis: but by that point you'd had several digs at me already Janis: so yeah, maybe it came out a bit harsh, if I recall you were saying just how welcoming I was and that was just the last of Jimmy: 'cause you were having a massive strop from the sec I mentioned your sister Jimmy: instead of just taking the compliment Janis: That's no excuse to say some of the shit you said is it Jimmy: I don't have any excuses Jimmy: just Janis: Fine Jimmy: don't say it's fine when it isn't Jimmy: I fucked it up, alright Jimmy: just like he wants me to Janis: I know you're having a shit time of it with your Dad, that's what I'm saying, I'm not trying to 'cause more problems Janis: if it stops being worth it on your end you don't have to keep doing it, it's not that important, my rep was for shit anyway so Jimmy: don't go Jimmy: that's important to me Janis: is it Jimmy: you know you make everything less shit Jimmy: so I need you, okay Janis: but you said Janis: no Janis: okay Jimmy: what did I say? Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you can Janis: I don't even know how you said it now or when in this convo and I don't want to reread but Janis: I was saying it was shitty to say all the things you did considering you fucked me and are still fucking me, like Janis: don't have to be my best mate but like Janis: can you not Janis: okay Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: for real Jimmy: I'm not just saying it Jimmy: & I shouldn't have said what I did Jimmy: I get it if you don't like me anymore Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: I said some things, even if I didn't mean it that's still how it came out so Janis: sorry too and let's just Janis: move on yeah Jimmy: maybe I am Jimmy: stupid Janis: No you're not Janis: being it but we all do and it's excusable given, alright Jimmy: I really wanna be with you Jimmy: I should've just skipped & stayed Jimmy: I didn't reckon on him actually showing up Janis: I wasn't expecting that either Janis: I mean, devil's advocate and don't shoot me, guess it shows he cares on some level Janis: even if it's for the wrong, selfish reasons, idk Janis: trying to make him seem not like a total twat is hard Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: just try and forget what a total twat I am Janis: You're not though Janis: unfortunate, be easier to ignore with the rest then but you aren't Jimmy: are you at the gym? Jimmy: I'm gonna leave Janis: I didn't get there in the end Janis: do you want to come back here or Janis: I wasn't showing off, or trying to Janis: that ain't me, I know I'm rich and whatever but Jimmy: let me come back Jimmy: 'cause I know that Jimmy: I was just being a dickhead after he was to me Janis: I get it Janis: I should've been nicer Janis: I'm not good at all this Jimmy: nah you are Jimmy: don't be a doormat to me Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: If I'd been less of a dickhead to begin with we might not have got to this point though but Jimmy: you've always been a dickhead Jimmy: I like it Jimmy: I like you Janis: I like you too Janis: it Janis: it's not just a deal to me okay Jimmy: don't just say that to make me feel better Janis: I ain't Janis: I didn't think you'd wanna hear it so literal opposite of what I was reckoning but Jimmy: you're Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: too good for me & this bollocks probably Janis: Nah Janis: anyway, I want to too Janis: I'm not gonna just piss off, yeah Janis: sorry about it Jimmy: be my real girlfriend then Janis: what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: Yeah and it's a total 180 to like everything you just said so Janis: hold on, like Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: are YOU saying what you think I wanna hear now Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: I'm saying what I wanna say Jimmy: don't make me feel weird about it Janis: sorry Janis: just checking Janis: okay then Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: 'cause I'm coming to your house right now so be sure, tah Jimmy: hung up my apron & everything Janis: 💔 for the apron moment Janis: yeah, I'm sure Jimmy: I can keep it on if you're that into it Jimmy: take me a sec to go back & grab it & I'll get some weird looks but Janis: 😏 you're ridiculous Jimmy: you got me now so get used to the #craic Janis: God you're so cute, shut up Jimmy: will you come with me later to make sure everyone's alright at mine? your true love 🐶 included? Janis: Yeah Janis: 'course I will Jimmy: before my dad gets back, I'm not an animal Jimmy: you don't have to deal with that Janis: Don't worry, if it gives all of you an easier life, I'm happy to avoid him Jimmy: if only Jimmy: if it ain't you it's owt else Janis: 😕 yeah Janis: I'll climb up the drainpipe when I miss you, it's fine 💪 Jimmy: you're so hot Jimmy: can't even remember what I was feeling like before Jimmy: just 😍 now Janis: You know I like sleeping with you Janis: I mean actual sleeping Jimmy: you should stop growing though Jimmy: it's really gonna fuck us over Janis: Yeah, imagine it's easier with Bobs Jimmy: coffee stunts your growth, babe Jimmy: just saying Jimmy: if you really wanna make life easiier Janis: think of my basketball career Janis: someone should've warned Gracie, no catching up now love Jimmy: believe me i'm 💔 Jimmy: the potential those legs coulda had Jimmy: yours not hers Janis: 😂 speedy recovery like for the love of God don't start up again bitch Jimmy: you know Jimmy: don't want you dumping me when we only just got together for real Janis: You wish Janis: no chance, mate Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: scared enough tah Jimmy: always chatting 'bout how much you're gonna fuck me up Janis: 1. you love it Janis: 2. how nice am I to you actually, fuck the chat Jimmy: 1. your house takes ages to get to, owt could happen Jimmy: 2. see #1 Janis: Have a little faith, boy Jimmy: I told you, Jesus don't live with us, girl Jimmy: much as I'd love to make him pay his share Janis: 😏 he died for YOUR sins Janis: yours specifically Jimmy: I ain't done nowt wrong a day in my life Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Come here and start then Janis: Loser Jimmy: VERY rude Jimmy: 1. 🥇 Jimmy: 2. I want you so bad right now don't say shit like that Janis: 1. team Janis: 2. try and stop me now I've got every right to want you as much as I do Jimmy: 3. alright but I reckon this is the same bus driver so if you keep turning me on he's gonna think I love him Janis: 4. already tryna get an old man involved Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: don't kink shame me Jimmy: not very goals Janis: fine bring with but I ain't touching him Jimmy: I'm pretty sure he just likes to watch Jimmy: definitely remembers me Janis: Gonna have to be a solo show for now Janis: don't disappoint Jimmy: don't tempt me Jimmy: I miss you Jimmy: being back here ain't helping Janis: how and why does that feel like ages ago Janis: i wanted you so badly Jimmy: 'cause I've fucked you so many times since then Jimmy: keep wanting me, alright Janis: 🤤 Janis: done Janis: you're Janis: i don't know but whatever you are you're a lot of it Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I don't want to get arrested for being a horny mute Jimmy: especially when I fuck up the last bit Janis: He likes it, he's not gonna call Garda Jimmy: not gonna like it when I say your name though Janis: sure he would, he just likes to watch Janis: remembers me too, like Jimmy: might think I'm cheating Jimmy: girl of so many names you Janis: brought that on yourself, boy Janis: surprised you haven't said the wrong one during Jimmy: It ain't my fault I can't read Janis: can't stop shaming you can i Janis: how rude Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: I get it though, trying to turn me from horny to heartbroken Jimmy: tah babe Janis: Poor baby Janis: switch it up on you and make you feel all better when you get here Jimmy: I'm so mad at you for being able to touch yourself if you want Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: i mean you could but you're 🐔 Jimmy: think carefully before you lay that challenge down Jimmy: you know I'll do it Janis: I know I want you to do it but Janis: are you up for the REAL challenge of not getting caught Jimmy: only but now is how bad do you want me to Jimmy: 'cause of course I am Jimmy: taught me everything I need to know, didn't you? Are YOU doubting your techniques? Janis: 'Course I'm not, I told you, I never got caught Janis: I want you to do it Janis: this bad [nude] Jimmy: alright, you have to do it too though & try to be caught Jimmy: that's your challenge Janis: Jesus Janis: Okay Jimmy: how are we gonna prove this? Janis: Record it? Jimmy: I already can't think properly Jimmy: no shit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Step in the right direction Janis: you don't need to think at all, just feel Jimmy: it's your fault, sending me that pic Jimmy: now I'm just Jimmy: feeling a lot Janis: You're welcome for the headstart I gave you Janis: I had to put my clothes back on and find a place I could get caught Jimmy: feeling left out? like it's too much of a challenge? Jimmy: Let me help you Jimmy: [sends own pics of how turned on he is] Janis: Fuck Janis: see, you have to touch yourself Janis: that is too good to waste Jimmy: if anyone does catch me I'll tell them it's a #medicalemergency Jimmy: but they won't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: I'll cosign it babe Janis: why we have to fuck so much, yeah? Jimmy: feel free to use the excuse when you get rumbled Jimmy: female hysteria, yeah Janis: Not aftr that rant from my Ma as pillowtalk Jimmy: where are you anyway? Janis: Outside Janis: Nice day and it reminds me of the times we've nearly Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I should not have asked Jimmy: that's Janis: You'll see when you watch my video won't you Janis: do my best with the angles Jimmy: likewise Jimmy: fuck me outside when we won't get caught, alright Janis: You know you're so talented Janis: gonna be #art Janis: Yes, I want that Jimmy: You're #art Jimmy: tonight then 🤞 Janis: Definitely Janis: at yours or mine Jimmy: less people to catch us at mine Jimmy: but 'cause you're in your garden now I wanna do it there Janis: We can do it right here Janis: x marks the spot Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: real challenge is me doing you better than you can Janis: That's no challenge come on Jimmy: bit rude to yourself that Jimmy: I know you're good, babe Janis: You're better Janis: so much better Jimmy: I can't take that compliment right now Jimmy: I've got a challenge not to fail Jimmy: can't if I die Janis: Well if I get caught I might get murdered so Janis: see you in Hell baby Jimmy: 👍 Janis: How hard are you biting your lip right now? Jimmy: you'll see if I've got my angles Jimmy: but fuck Jimmy: I can really feel it Janis: it hurts good right? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it'll feel even better when you kiss me later Janis: I'll be so gentle Janis: 'til I can't Jimmy: never gonna be mad 'bout you losing control Janis: Good because Janis: This feels incredible Jimmy: I wanna know exactly how it feels Jimmy: but I don't wanna put you off Janis: I'm doing this for you, Jimmy Janis: I want to tell you Jimmy: yeah but typing & filming Jimmy: you need some control for that Jimmy: you're meant to lose it all Janis: I'm using talk and type already Janis: One step ahead Jimmy: I'm mad that I have to be sneaky & you don't Jimmy: I want Janis: What do you want? Jimmy: I wanna just Jimmy: let go too Janis: You can Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: so tell me what it's like Janis: It's like Janis: my hearts already beating fast because of how turned on I am but then it's going insane because I know anyone could see me, hear me, right now Janis: I feel like I could pass out Jimmy: I reckon you could hear mine on this recording 'cause I'm making no sound Jimmy: trying not to breathe too loud even Janis: You're so good Janis: You can totally lose control when you get here Janis: and tonight Jimmy: I have to with you Jimmy: nowt else I can Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: you know it Jimmy: you're Jimmy: gonna be the death of me Janis: I can't help it Janis: You're Janis: there's so much I want to do with you Jimmy: we can Jimmy: you're my girlfriend now you can just Janis: say that again Jimmy: what? Janis: say I'm your girlfriend again Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you're my girlfriend, Janis Janis: you're gonna know when you said that when you see this Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: bit awkward if I don't Janis: Trust Janis: How did that nearly get me off Jimmy: I better not chat 'bout how long I wanted to ask you then Janis: Tell me Janis: You gotta talk in here so you keep 😶 Jimmy: it's been ages Jimmy: before you made us miss our stop, like Janis: You mean it Jimmy: you don't think so? Janis: I believe you Janis: I just Janis: I dunno how this happened Jimmy: at the party I just Jimmy: there was so much shit I wanted to say Jimmy: I thought I was just drunk but Janis: I remember Janis: I felt it as well Janis: you can tell me anything you want Jimmy: I got drunk hoping I would just tell you Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: & so I could be around you & not be a dickhead Janis: I love hanging out with you Janis: I just do Janis: it never felt fake Jimmy: yeah but I reckoned you were faking it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: I'm not Janis: I mean, I don't have friends for a reason Janis: I keep people away Janis: I wasn't used to any of it, so I didn't think I would like you or anything, that it'd be easy to fake and feel nothing butt Jimmy: I get it, the only reason I had friends back home is 'cause I'd always had that same group since I was well younger Jimmy: they wouldn't go away Jimmy: I tried Janis: Yeah Janis: exactly Janis: you have to be a real cunt to get them to go, it's not fun Jimmy: I was Jimmy: & still Jimmy: but I don't want you to go Jimmy: don't Janis: Clearly, I'm a better actor than you #humblebrag #sorry Janis: I won't Janis: where am I going Jimmy: hollywood maybe Janis: unless I accidentally post this vid and make it big Jimmy: you better not 'cause then I'd have to post mine as a one up Jimmy: twitter already can't handle me Janis: not for moral support nor nothing, just gotta upstage me Janis: take the clout of how many times I've said your name already and be happy 'cos I can't handle you either Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: it's getting really hard to be subtle Janis: you aren't subtle, that's what I like about you Jimmy: you might, the rest of the passengers won't Jimmy: not if I touch myself how I really want Jimmy: they're all gonna notice then Janis: they've seen worse on the bus, like Janis: not like you aren't the literal most drop dead gorgeous boy around Janis: appreciate and enjoy, people Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: you're really not helping me win here Jimmy: different challenges, remember? Janis: 😈 Janis: Losing can be fun Janis: I'm finding out Jimmy: You're not gonna lose Jimmy: someone's gonna catch you Jimmy: come on Janis: why does that make me hornier what the fuck Jimmy: You want it Jimmy: baby come on Jimmy: you can do it Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I know Jimmy: do it for me, yeah Janis: Yes Janis: Holy Jimmy: cum Jimmy: we can together Janis: I want you to cum on my face tonight, will you, please Janis: that's what I'm thinking about, and how much of a mess you're gonna be when you get here Jimmy: like I said, you're my girlfriend now Jimmy: we can do anything Janis: that's tipped me over the edge Jimmy: it's alright Janis: Oh Jesus who just pulled up Jimmy: you're winning, girl Janis: I don't think I can move Janis: this is Jimmy: so stay Janis: Okay Janis: Shit Jimmy: who is it? Janis: My Dad Janis: my brother is with him, Pablo Jimmy: at least it's not Grace Jimmy: then you'd have to move Jimmy: can't give her a captive audience Janis: More terrifying caught than them noticing me right now Janis: *thought whoops Jimmy: what do you look like? Jimmy: help me picture it Janis: Okay, so, I'm laying on the grass with my knees up, and I just have a baggy t-shirt on and I had my knickers around my ankles but I quickly took them all the way off when I heard them so now I'm just holding them in my right hand and they're soaked, I must be so pink and embarrassed, I'm literally out of breath, it's so obvious Jimmy: oh Jimmy: let me know if they decide to stop and say hi then Janis: They better not, I'm holding it back, but I really need to cum again Janis: I know I can't be quiet Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I believe in you Janis: Jimmy tell me what to do Janis: this hurts, I don't know if they're staying or going or what Jimmy: don't wait for 'em to stop pissing 'bout Jimmy: do what you gotta do Jimmy: make yourself quiet this time, you already won Janis: Yeah I did Janis: you're Janis: actually the best boyfriend Jimmy: it's cause you're my #muse Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: never more than now Janis: So cute Jimmy: if I could I'd draw you exactly like this Jimmy: You're actually art, you know Janis: that's what 📸 are for Janis: but I cannot deal with all these compliments right now Jimmy: you have to Jimmy: 'cause you said I could tell you anything I want Jimmy: & you're like properly beautiful Janis: Baby Jimmy: I wanna know you & I don't wanna know anyone Jimmy: hate you a bit for it but Janis: Sorry Janis: but I feel it too Jimmy: It's alright, I really like you too Jimmy: we can still be goals Janis: we are Janis: undeniably Janis: even the haters are obsessed Jimmy: did you check your bushes for Mia before you started fucking yourself? Probably should've Janis: even the idea of accidentally getting her off by-proxy isn't enough to turn me off right now Janis: though I would've ideally been way more rough Jimmy: you need to keep going 'cause that's the horniest anyone has or could ever have been Janis: 😂 I told you it was bad Jimmy: I'm not far away Jimmy: we can sort this Janis: My hero Jimmy: gonna make you swoon dramatically, yeah Janis: Better be planning on making me do more than that, boy Jimmy: I don't need a plan Jimmy: I know what to do Janis: You really fucking do Jimmy: 1. is fucking you with my tongue for a bit 'cause as hello's go, top one Jimmy: if you can stay conscious I'll show you what 2. is Janis: 😩 You know how hard I'm gonna cum right, like, be prepared Janis: your tongue is Jimmy: I want it & you want it Jimmy: don't worry Janis: Why are you perfect Janis: and how Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I'm just a good boyfriend Jimmy: you'll see Janis: I believe it Janis: but I look forward to knowing Jimmy: leave your review under my pillow as part of the Dear John to soften the blow when you dump me Janis: Hush Jimmy: I don't have to now Jimmy: challenge is over Jimmy: video now or later? Janis: Hmm Janis: Later, I wanna watch it with you here, preferably when you're going down on me Janis: can have a review then Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: gives me time to edit so I look pretty how you like 😏 Jimmy: gonna give myself anime eyes or some shit 😂 Janis: You always look pretty, you just are, it's rude Janis: we've all jacked it to hentai, ain't too proud, try me but please don't 😂 Jimmy: this is why you're girlfriend material Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😏

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Distract me Rio: Don't I always? Rio: But what am I contending against now Buster: I'm in a mood I don't wanna be in Buster: Give me a different one Rio: Okay Rio: What have I got to give hmm Buster: Well, if you're not giving it everything, firstly who are you and secondly, what's the point, like Rio: Ahh that kind of mood is it Rio: Still gotta work on that vagueness Rio: I come at you with a sob story you're not gonna be happy are ya Buster: I'd tell you to get in line, babe Buster: Chlo's already been woe's me-ing my way Rio: Behind her? I think the fuck not Rio: That sounds like a laugh a minute Rio: Want a drink? Buster: Yeah Buster: But I've still got work to do Rio: Hmm Rio: Guess there's time for me to be your private barmaid 'til I have to go do it forreal Rio: taking your work out being out of the question Buster: You really like seeing me nerding out in those dark corners, yeah? Rio: Obviously Rio: soooo hot Rio: can't be distracting me and showing me up, like Buster: Yes I can Buster: From here or in person Buster: It's a talent, I know Rio: 😏 Rio: Not one you can put on your personal statement Buster: I mean, I could Buster: Does anyone actually read 'em? Rio: I assume so Rio: Or you just namedrop your School n 'rents in the interview? Buster: They'd wanna read this one, it'd be some best seller shit if I started talking about us Rio: Fifty Shades got nothing on us, babe 😂 Buster: You're laughing but it's true Buster: Have you read that shit? It's awful Rio: Yeah, even if the dude is daddy Rio: no saving how boring the bitch and sex is Buster: Shut up, he ain't special Rio: Tell him how you really feel, babe Rio: He wouldn't have to ask me nicely though Buster: 😒 Buster: When I said change my mood, not what I meant, like Rio: Awh baby Rio: You're still my favourite Buster: Whatever Rio: Not whatever Rio: Lemme make it up to you so I can be your favourite again Buster: How? Rio: You tell me Rio: That's how you've got it, baby, not playing around Rio: I take this very seriously 🥇 Buster: Damn Buster: Tell me you miss me Rio: I miss you so much Rio: and it's crazy because I've only just left you, it's like I can still feel you in every bruise Buster: Good 'cause I swear I can still taste you Buster: So the drink can wait Rio: Jesus Rio: I really really miss you now Buster: Yeah? Buster: Don't sugarcoat it for me, babe, I wanna know exactly how that feels Buster: If I'm gonna make it better I need to know how bad it is, like Rio: So bad it hurts Rio: if I show you where will you kiss it better for me, daddy? Buster: Of course, baby Rio: [Vid] Rio: See? Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Do you? Or do you need me to send more to clear things up? Buster: Honestly, who can be sure Buster: I think I need more to go on Rio: [Video of her getting closer] Rio: Please, I'm getting desperate here, babe Buster: I can see that Buster: Tell me what you need Rio: You Buster: [sends own vid] Buster: You've got me, babe Rio: I need to feel you Rio: like, right fucking now Buster: Where are you? Rio: Out doing the shop Rio: Way to ruin the mood Rio: but if I don't do it, Indie eats shit/would die so 🤷 Buster: Weed isn't actually counted towards your 5 a day, unlucky kid Buster: That's okay, the app will save you and the mood Rio: And not even she's gonna consume 5 edibles in a go Rio: I hope Rio: 😻 Rio: Get me ready for you baby Buster: I can do better than that Buster: You'll be begging for me, babe Buster: See? Rio: Mmm Rio: I certainly feel it Buster: Good Buster: What about this? Rio: Jesus Rio: the noises I'm holding back rn Rio: remember I'm in public Buster: I haven't forgotten Buster: Why do you think I'm going this hard? Rio: Buster Rio: I can't Buster: Yes you can, babe Buster: Do it for me Rio: I'm seriously going to do it for you right here if you don't stop Rio: Fuck me Buster: That's the plan Buster: I'm gonna keep fucking you until you cum for me, I don't care where you are Rio: When I get there, you gon' clean up the mess you made of me? Buster: You know it Buster: Not an amateur, like Rio: How does it feel knowing you own this pussy, baby? Buster: There's nothing better, trust me Rio: Good because there's nothing better than cumming for you Buster: Except with me Buster: So hurry back Rio: Boy you know what to do to get me hurrying Buster: Yeah Rio: I swear to God Rio: Gonna need to go the frozen aisle to cool tf down Buster: Bring me some ice Buster: Can have a lot of fun with that Rio: This is why I love you Buster: Say it again Rio: I love you Rio: So much Buster: I love you too Rio: Okay, if the little old ladies didn't hate me before Rio: the looks I'm getting Buster: I'd say sorry but we both know I ain't Buster: At all Rio: You know I want it Buster: I love hearing you say it though Rio: You don't need to ask nice, or ask at all Rio: I need you so bad I'll tell you that and more Buster: I need you too Buster: Right fucking now Rio: You know how good you make me feel Rio: I wanna make you feel this good always Buster: So come here Buster: I'll do your shop online for you and make them deliver it Rio: Ask me one more time Buster: Rio, come here Buster: Come fuck me Rio: Yes daddy Rio: I'm gonna ride that dick so hard Buster: You better Rio: You know no one else can do you like I can Buster: Yeah I do but I still want you to show me Rio: Well, you're gonna have the best view, babe Rio: 📸 if you need reminding Buster: Jesus Rio: If you gotta miss me, do it right Buster: You're so perfect Rio: Buster, I seriously love you Buster: I know Buster: It's the same for me Buster: Yeah, I love myself but that's not what I mean Rio: 😂 Can't blame you baby you're just Rio: damn Rio: I wish you didn't have to leave Buster: Me too Buster: But I'll be back for Christmas hols Rio: I know Rio: I wish you never had to leave though Rio: Get the 'cuffs Buster: I'm not gonna say no to that Buster: But seriously, one day, babe Rio: Yeah Rio: I can't wait Buster: And then I'll wake you up every morning in your fave way Rio: 🤤 Rio: God don't leave me okay Buster: Never Rio: Never? Buster: Never, baby Rio: I don't know how this happened Buster: Does it matter? Rio: No but Rio: headfuck Buster: Do you want me to shut up? Rio: No Rio: I like it Rio: I'm just thinking and talking Rio: I never thought you'd mean this much to me Buster: I don't know whether to be impressed that you can still have coherent thoughts or offended that you didn't think I'd be the centre of your universe Buster: Rude Buster: Look at me Buster: Godlike Rio: Stop talking Rio: 😉 Buster: How many times can I say never in one convo Rio: If you're going for a record, I'll start asking the right questions Rio: Hey babe, when am I wrong? Buster: 😂 Rio: Harder than you think Rio: without dipping into the double negatives Buster: You're such a nerd Rio: Shut up 😂 Rio: You wish, get me doing your essays whilst you do me Buster: Let's do that Buster: It's a great plan Rio: You say that now but wait 'til you get your grade back 😏 Buster: Is that you trying to tell me I need to work on my technique, like Rio: Well now you mention it, like Rio: Nah 😂 Opposite, if you were shit I'd boss it, no distraction in it Buster: If I can study with you on my mind you can write an essay with me on you Buster: I believe it Rio: Would save me scouting Profs when you get to Uni Rio: Gimme that fantasy babe Buster: It's not gonna be a fantasy for long Buster: I've got deadlines, babe Buster: There's an essay right here for you Rio: Fucking hell Rio: I'm so whipped for you, I'll seriously do it Buster: I know you will Buster: And you'll do it well Rio: Yes sir Buster: You're killing me Rio: You reckon? Rio: [Pics] Because this is what you've done to me Buster: Fuck Rio: Gutted I'm too turned on to go anywhere but yours Rio: could pick up the schoolgirl costume, like Buster: Later Buster: I don't wanna wait any longer than I already have Rio: Punish me how you see fit for being late Buster: I will Rio: 😈 Rio: I'll try to hide how much I'm enjoying it Buster: Don't Buster: Show me everything Rio: Yes baby Rio: as long as you do too Buster: I couldn't stop myself if I had to Rio: Good Rio: Don't stop Buster: I won't Rio: Promise? Buster: I swear, babe Buster: I can't and I don't want to Rio: Then we've got a deal Rio: I'll knock up a draft whilst I'm at it Rio: feeling motivated Buster: Good

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Come over Buster: Distract me so I don't have to blackout her bullshit by drinking in the AM Rio: She's gone? Buster: 'Course Rio: How'd you manage it in the end then? Buster: Standard. She basically lost her voice trying to call me out on mine Rio: The cabin crew are welcome, like Rio: Did she take Jay back too? Buster: Yeah Buster: Only way she can actually get to me, like Rio: That's shit Rio: Think that allows you a drink Buster: Like I said, distract me now or pick me up of the floor later Rio: I can be there in like, an hour Rio: Do you want me to bring anything forreal Rio: 5 o' clock somewhere Buster: Anything you want Buster: Don't laugh but it's legit dad proofed here still right now Rio: Why would I laugh? Rio: Not to bring up the unfavourable comparison again but Rio: hardly winning dad of the year with a load of gear lying about Buster: Yeah and have you seen Chlo high? 'Cause I wish I hadn't Buster: Hilarious enough with a drink inside her Rio: I can only imagine Rio: least she can afford the 2nd nose job Buster: 😂 Rio: That's more like it Buster: I have to hit the town to buy Jay stuff she apparently desperately needs the second they land, wanna come? Rio: That's code for 'gutted I'm too hungover for a shopping spree' if I ever heard it Rio: They got creches in first class? Rio: Sure thing though, I ain't no amateur Buster: Or you know, code for I spent all the cash you gave me on myself already Buster: Oh she wishes, babe Buster: She'd have bought her mummy along if the poor woman had agreed Rio: Unlucky Rio: get that hot face cloth on and forget the world, babe Rio: 😑 Buster: Unlucky for Jay, yeah, I feel like I can hear her screaming from here Rio: Poor babe Rio: She'll be alright, air hostesses will take care of her to avoid a fullscale riot whilst Chlo is merrily skimming Grazia Buster: mimosa in hand Buster: Should be me though Rio: Yeah Rio: Next time Rio: She'll want at least a fortnight somewhere hot in the summer, yeah? Buster: Next kid, like Buster: But yeah, always something she'd rather do Rio: Don't even play Rio: Your fam will sense it from here and then it'll be all chastity belts or worse Buster: 😂 Buster: Don't trust yourself to be that creative? Buster: I reckon we could work around it Rio: Easy Rio: I got my protection on lock though unlike some Rio: Very reassuring for 'em, I'm sure 🙄😂 Buster: Calms my pulse rate down Buster: So cheers Buster: Not trying to have another kid until I'm like 30 Rio: Surprised you ain't been put off for life Rio: cautionary tale for the rest of us, like Buster: If I get a better babymama I'll be golden Buster: Besides, need a son don't I? Rio: 🙄 of course Rio: you ain't that posh, don't play Buster: Not as funny as you, like Rio: You said it, babe Buster: You hungry? Buster: I need food if I'm gonna do anything close to what Chlo wants from me Rio: I see no downside to letting you get your strength up either Buster: As long as you can keep up Buster: Where are you anyway? Rio: Home, but I just set up everything so I gotta stream first Buster: What do I have to do to get a sneak preview? Rio: Ask nicely Rio: Of course Rio: Know I'm all about politeness Buster: You want me to say please? Rio: Least you could do, really Rio: They all paying so Rio: Consider yourself lucky Buster: You can get lucky too Buster: In the shops and out Rio: Nah, focus on your favourite girl Rio: I'm good Buster: I know you are Buster: That's why you always pull my focus Rio: Not sorry Rio: Though it's a point, ain't you got work you need to be doing? Buster: There's other shit I need more, you know Rio: I feel it Buster: So, please Rio: 😍 Rio: Now, was that so hard? Rio: [Sends pics] Buster: How fucking hot you are softens the blow Rio: Not my intention but I'll take it Buster: 😂 Buster: You know what you do to me Rio: Yeah, you're pretty blatant, babe Buster: 'Cause you're so subtle Buster: Shut up Rio: Not a bad thing Rio: wouldn't be here if I was Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: Me either Buster: Good Rio: 'Til  my conscience makes a reappearance, like Rio: but I'll do my best to schedule that for Sundays Buster: Cheers Buster: I'll do my best to sleep through then Rio: I'll wear you out Buster: Promises, promises Rio: Pshhh boy please Rio: even if I was all talk, you can hush and enjoy the attempts Buster: I am Rio: Good boy Buster: Sometimes Rio: Wouldn't be fun if you were all the time Rio: keep it interesting, give you that Buster: I could say the same to you, babe Rio: Me? Rio: 😇 always Buster: Save your lies for church Buster: Can't deny it to me Rio: awh but Rio: lying's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off Buster: If that's your way of telling me you ain't over your emo phase Rio: 😂 Rio: the real confession Buster: Definitely need to take you shopping now, like Rio: Imagine Rio: Still rocking Hot Topic Rio: tragic Buster: Don't Buster: Not saying you wouldn't still be hot but Buster: Couldn't be seen with you Rio: I respect that Rio: Got to have some standards Buster: According to you I ain't Rio: Well, not my fault you got poor previous Buster: Well, kind of is Buster: If you'd given into me sooner Rio: 😒 Rio: Idiot Buster: Takes one to know one, babe Rio: Shut up Rio: I don't even wanna think about 'em Buster: Let me give you something else to think about Buster: [sends own pics] Rio: DAMN Rio: 🤤 okay that worked Buster: How do I look? Good enough to seen in town with? Rio: Too good to wanna waste on town baby Rio: now who can't focus, fuck Buster: Don't. Give it all to me instead Buster: Stream later Rio: You're killing me Rio: I just won't wanna leave later, rinse and repeat Rio: it's ridiculous how distracting you are Buster: Please Rio: Fuck Rio: Okay Buster: I can promise to kick you out if that's what you need Rio: Sure you can Rio: I know you want me just as much Buster: I know you know how to annoy me Buster: So if you have to leave Rio: I'll just start calling you cute Rio: Got it Buster: Exactly Buster: But right now I want you bad I don't even care what you call me Rio: Good to know Rio: Test out some new ones, see what's a turn on and what ain't Buster: Like everything you do isn't a turn on Buster: Come on Rio: I can't Rio: Gonna make you miss me more often Buster: Good luck 'cause I'm gonna make you want me all the time Rio: Not fair Rio: got the easy job Buster: How easy? Rio: Can't tell you that Buster: Show me then Rio: I'm already coming to see you instead of making money Rio: Can't say it any clearer, like Rio: [Sends vid tho] Buster: I'll make it worth more than they could Rio: I already know Rio: that's the fucked thing Buster: Anything you want, babe, you can have it Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: I just want you Buster: I know Buster: Fuck Rio, I need you Rio: I'm getting an uber Rio: I can't think straight never mind drive Buster: Let me pay for it I'm already costing you Rio: You don't give up, do you? Rio: but okay Rio: just this once Buster: I won't tell anyone Buster: Don't worry Rio: I just don't want you to think it's like that Rio: like you have to Buster: I know what's up Buster: And you know I only do what I want Rio: Obviously Buster: It's alright baby Rio: Weird when you're nice Buster: I'll be a cunt to you when you get here if you like Rio: Don't have to go that hard, like Buster: Just treat you mean to keep you keen then, yeah? Rio: I mean Rio: you won't hear any complaints from me Buster: 'Cause you'll only be doing what I tell you Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah? Rio: Don't let me stop us again, okay? Buster: Like you said, I don't give up Rio: Good Buster: We are Buster: So hurry that Uber up, like Rio: I'm in it Rio: 25 if we keep traffic and chat to a minimum Buster: 🍀 Buster: Save your chat for me Rio: I ain't the one trying to get ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Rio: Bless him Buster: Tell him I'll pay him extra to get a fucking move on Rio: Rude! Rio: Way to make a bitch feel special, McKenna Rio: willing to drop bank on Omar too, like nbd Buster: Don't act like you wanna wait 25 minutes to touch me Rio: Got me there Rio: Stimulating as the chat as is Buster: Glad to hear it Rio: do we have to go out first? Buster: We can go out after Rio: I just need you to fuck me before I can do anything remotely productive Rio: Can't help it, like Buster: I feel it too Buster: I need you to cum for me before we go anywhere else Rio: Daddy Rio: Going to make me cum in the back of this car 'fore you've even touched me Buster: I wouldn't be mad about it Buster: Omar might have something to say Rio: Least I've got jeans on Rio: how wet I am ain't for him though Buster: They better come off easier than the last pair you wore Buster: I'm not waiting any longer than I already have Rio: Thought you loved a challenge? Buster: Don't you dare play Rio: Trust Rio: deadly serious about this Buster: Good Rio: If you don't wanna fuck me on sight we got an issue tbh Buster: The only issue'll be getting you through the door first Rio: One way to give the nosy neighbours something to talk about Buster: Don't tempt me Rio: But that's my job Buster: And you're doing it so well Buster: It's killing me, babe Rio: I'll make it all better for you so soon now baby Buster: Fuck Buster: How far away are you? Rio: [Sends location on the tracking app thing] Rio: 5 minutes too long Buster: Jesus Christ Buster: Okay Rio: I gotta get out of the 24 Rio: Not just for you, though that's all that's on my mind rn Rio: doing this drive to and from work is getting boring Buster: I'll set you up in some of our square footage Rio: You reckon you got room/patience for Indie too? 😂 Buster: I might like a challenge but let's not go that far Rio: Yeah, didn't think so Rio: anyway, she's #24folyfe Buster: I do need you closer though Rio: At least we don't have to ✈ every time now Buster: Thank Christ Buster: Don't remind me Rio: Doing well but not well enough to add that commute on my day to day, like Buster: You'd have to let me bankroll you then Rio: 😒 Buster: 😂 Rio: You wanna buy me so bad like I'm not already yours Buster: Rio Rio: Mhm? Buster: Get in this house now I swear to god Rio: Good ears Rio: just pulled up

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: Where are we putting the exchange then? What rooms are empty rn? Grace: I volunteered to share mine, but mum wasn't having it 😂 Grace: Juniors? I mean like, they can always run away to the barn if you can keep your barista bf away from it Janis: Yeah, they don't need that much room Janis: most people got 'em sleeping in the dining room or whatever so consider yourself lucky Janis: Help you clean it later if it needs Grace: OMG imagine if we'd done that. Dad would be waking them up at all hours with custard tarts and whatever Grace: Cringe! Grace: 🙄 Gotta sort my own first obvs but I doubt there's anything major Janis: S'gonna be cringe regardless but free holiday at the end of it 👌 Janis: Dust off the trophies probs Janis: fucking golden boy Grace: You think? Grace: Ugh true! Grace: Maybe we shouldn't put him in there, he might assume we're all overachieving weirdos Grace: nu-uh honey Janis: Yeah, god knows what kinda melts they're sending Janis: seen half of our lot that are doing it? unlucky, like Janis: meh, idc Janis: rather that than thick as shit surely Grace: omg don't Grace: if he doesn't look like Diego Luna circa dirty dancing 2 what are we even! Grace: You might not care but i'm DYING for new faces around here Grace: UMMM excuse you, he can talk to me to find out that I'm not Janis: I have no idea who you're on about Janis: you know they aren't staying forever, yeah? Grace: HUSH GIRL Grace: Like I'm gonna stay here forever, PLEASE! Janis: Okay, you're running away to buttfuck nowhere in Spain Janis: Solid plan, babe Grace: I never said that, babes Grace: There's a whole world out there that needs to get ready for me Janis: Right Grace: That better be genuine, you bitch! 😂 Janis: if you like Janis: wasn't but if we're being mental today Grace: RUDE Grace: How am I being mental? Janis: over-excitable then, as per Janis: spanish inquisition rocking up ain't no thing to get your knickers in a twist about Janis: they're just gonna be more of the same Grace: 🙄 Grace: Cos we get one decent new boy come around in a lifetime, right? Grace: I know you can only get excited about one lad but give me a break Janis: Didn't say that Janis: just saying, they're still teenagers, not a new species Grace: ugh 👌 Grace: Do this mean you're not gonna help me pick an outfit for my first impression? Janis: do you want my help Janis: really Grace: that's why I asked, babes Grace: Gotta get myself across before everyone else starts talking 🙉 Janis: Yeah Janis: alright then Grace: 🙇 Grace: Now can I be excited?? 😏 Janis: No doubt Janis: love having a captive audience you 😜 Grace: Gotta get that validation where I can now that so many of my vids are private Grace: New 🍂 same me 😂 Janis: You sure you got the right person here? 😂 Grace: No but you're the best I've got so 🤞 Grace: If Rio ever called a bitch back you'd be off the hook Janis: Too busy with her new freaky fam for this one now babe Grace: Where's the lie? Janis: can't say I blame her, like Janis: but could at least show up and get me out of this Grace: Rude Grace: It'll be fun. Promise Grace: I got sent some really good freebies after my last upload if you need an extra incentive Grace: Not even all make up like Janis: Whatever, it's cool Janis: as long as I get to be brutally honest Grace: Duh Janis: what else could a girl need, like Grace: Literally Grace: OMG bring the boy so I can get a male POV Janis: 😂 Nah Janis: you think he has any fashion sense Grace: SHADE Grace: he did fall for you tho, so valid Grace: No trying to show up with an angry P.E teacher vibe Janis: 🖕 funny Grace: You didn't get all the sense of humour in the womb, babes Janis: someone had one to shove us in there together Grace: Honestly Grace: So when you coming home?? Grace: I'll start pulling possible looks ASAP Janis: Just heading gym so Janis: got an hour to whittle down Janis: and if I see a sequin I'm out Grace: Oh honey no Grace: They aren't showing up at cocktail hour Janis: and you aren't five years old Grace: OMG that's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me Janis: more of a reminder than a compliment but have at it Grace: Sure Jan Grace: It's okay I won't tell anyone we're playing nice Grace: Gotta take all the credit for whatever magic you think you can work anyways Janis: They'll just think you're being delusional as per Janis: I can't lose, like Janis: still think you can just whack out a fucking flamenco dress and call it a day Janis: racial stereotyping to get the ball rolling, why not Grace: UGH DON'T Grace: You know someone will Grace: Michelle Tavistock 100% is tempted I can just tell Grace: #ironic like EW NO, HUN Janis: probably get her some and all Janis: rubbing their hands together like stupid english girl Grace: So gross Grace: How long before some starts an #irish pride situ too like Janis: the lads when they see none of the spanish lasses are thick enough to ride 'em Grace: 😂 Grace: If Pablo starts anything I will die Grace: You think I'm cringe babes but omg Janis: Nightmare, pair of you Janis: forgetting the spanish for brother and sister on purpose Grace: On purpose, yeah, sure Janis: Ha, puta springs to mind easy enough so shut up Grace: How dare you Grace: I'm Zorra or I'm nothing 💘 Janis: basura 💩 Grace: I so knew you were gonna say that Janis: clean up your act then, babe Grace: EXCUSE YOU Grace: 1. I have 2. rude of you to shame me Janis: yeah yeah yeah 😉 Grace: Ignoring you now Janis: Finally Grace: 🙄 Janis: 😂 Grace: But seriously I can't believe you're leaving loverboy and going off to do your half 💔 Janis: Dramatic Janis: not joined at the hip Grace: Uh YEAH you are Grace: He's gonna be well tragic without you Janis: He'll survive, babe Grace: Not me you gotta convince Grace: Bless him Janis: Shut up Janis: we're not 12 Grace: All the more reason Grace: He's got it so bad Janis: Nah Grace: You'll see when you have your Rom Com style airport moment, babes Grace: Just you wait Janis: That won't be happening Janis: gonna go airport at the arse crack of dawn 'cos the teacher's are sadists and that's when they booked the flights Janis: I think not Grace: Like that'll stop him being all 😍🎕💕 Grace: So into you 💍 Janis: you're mad if you think I'm letting that happen Grace: 😂 Grace: You're as bad Grace: Gross af the pair of you Janis: psh Janis: only 'cos you're so obsessed with me Janis: no one in this fam knows boundaries Grace: including you Grace: all over that boy 24/7 Janis: piss off Grace: Hey, not judging, just making a point Janis: well, you got it wrong alright Grace: Chill, you're in love it's a good thing Janis: I ain't though Grace: 🙄 Grace: Okay babe Janis: what would you know about it Grace: I've got 👀 Grace: Calm down, I'll drop it Janis: do Grace: 👌

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: How'd I do? Your nan gonna give me another slap or shout me a drink next I see her? 😂 Janis: Well, I personally reckon you did alright but she's a harder woman to please Janis: I think you're outta the attack on sight group though so 👍 not bad for a night's work, lad Janis: How are you faring, I lost you in the crowd at several points so I'm dreading thinking who said what tbh Jimmy: 💪🏆😎🍻 Jimmy: Glad I had my bad boy shades, don't think I've been snapped so much in my life Jimmy: And at one point we basically had paps being so #goals Jimmy: but the insults were too slurred and 🇮🇪 to pack as much punch as you or your nan like Janis: mmblockoutthehaters Janis: not a fan of being the other side of the lens then, no? 😜 now you see my struggle, in all the ways 🙄 Janis: Yeah, they were on fine form, like Janis: Not Grace though, don't you think? Something's up and its not just date envy Jimmy: shut up you're sooooooooooo about being my muse Jimmy: yeah it was a good night all round, cheers Jimmy: it'll be drama with the flat whites or fuck boy. Lot of dumping done, wasn't it? Jimmy: Mia alone is a lot to get out of your mind 🎻 Janis: Suuuuure 😏 well, all the extra exercise with Twix is no doubt benefitting my grade in Sports so Janis: Owe ya one, don't I? Janis: Though reckon you just settlin' cos my actual model sister would charge you a fee, like Janis: More fucking fool me, ay? 😕😉 Janis: 👍 not too bruised? Janis: not just chattin' 'bout ya ego Janis: Probably right, yeah, it'll be Mia...I don't think she was that arsed about Harry, though she acted it Jimmy: I'd have to get in line, Twix'd never let me have first dibs collecting that debt Jimmy: I don't know what's more of a headwrecker that your sister is a proper model or that she's the only one #geneticsgamestronginyourgaff Jimmy: Still angling to get a pair of kicks off me? Take it up with 🎅 I did my bit on the 🎁 front 🤞 Jimmy: You better not be chatting that 😎 selectively remembering only your wins again, are you? Jimmy: Bet she's devo about Tammy #relatable 😂 Jimmy: what a giant hole in our lives Janis: She's 🥇 Janis: No matter what hype you're on Janis: True we're #blessed but don't let me catch you commenting on it again, IRL or on the 'gram Janis: I'll have to become that bitch and I don't think I've got the time tbh Janis: 🤐 nope, no complaints here, for the big man or yourself, like Janis: Hmm? I suddenly can't recall, maybe 'cos that useless bint next to us practically brained me when her club flew away from her Janis: Looks like you'll have to schedule a rematch if you wanna be covered in glory 🤷 Janis: Poor Lurch...who's the real loser here? Being such with bulllyimia Jimmy: Done and done Jimmy: Can't win 'em all...oh Tammy I thought we had something proper special babe Jimmy: what you doing today? Ready to take on the challenge any time you wanna lay it down Janis: So did she! But you will insist on bouncin' onto the next one, like 😉 Janis: make up your mind, Jimothy Janis: I'm wallowing in my pit currently...avoiding any fad diets and weird exercise regimes being implemented and spring cleaning and yet more leftovers curry Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: 😎💪 Jimmy: I envy that Jimmy: any suggestions for a film that me, Bobbin and Cass can sit through? I'm drawing a blank on an animated musical with violent themes rn like Janis: You wouldn't if you could smell me Janis: Sexayyy Janis: Hmm Janis: There's that one where all the dinosaurs die at the end? Right, they probably throw out the odd tune too Janis: I'd say Lion King fits the spec actually but don't wanna start their year off with a heaping dose of trauma Jimmy: With you there Jimmy: Fuck it I'm sticking Mulan on and shutting their gobs with sweets Janis: That'll do it 👍 no one gives a shit if the bad guy gets it in the neck Janis: especially not from a sassy lady #feminism101withgracieguru Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she was really cracking out the nye vids #content Jimmy: silver lining of the 💔 a good GRWT Janis: Gotta show 'em what they're missing, or whatever Janis: Think Mia had a party at hers, purely so Grace couldn't come Janis: hostess with the mostest she ain't Janis: Devvo there wasn't another shit party for us to ruin tho, obvs Jimmy: school is still days away we've got time Janis: don't tempt fate, mate Janis: you've not got the 🍀 Janis: don't think my bro or the garda can handle it Janis: fuck knows where he is, still a no-show Janis: s'my job, like Jimmy: Maybe he's with my MIA pops Jimmy: weird one that'd be Jimmy: I did think he might have a new missus, but that's going a bit far like Janis: Both in the drunk tank, for their sins Janis: Maybe, Christmas wishes and all that Janis: Could find the time to give you a bell still Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Wanna come over and walk the 🐶 ? Cass and Bobby'll be as 🤢 as I imagine you are polishing off this lot Jimmy: Can't count it as weird fad often as we're out Janis: Alright, save 'em from themselves Janis: and you from losing your mind 😵 Janis: not long 'til school now, save your wishes for that like the other single mums Jimmy: Done. Jimmy: Bring Gracie if you can find her, she'll have no secrets after 10 mins with them two Janis: I have the distinct impression she's avoiding me, which is weird, 'cos pretty sure I've said worse and been forgiven quicker, like... Janis: but maybe if I tell her her fave barista boy is there she'll come out to play? Janis: we've got a load of leftover sparklers, I'll bring 'em, so make sure they've got their gloves on Jimmy: 😮 maybe its her ny resolution Jimmy: 💪😎 guaranteed Jimmy: They'll be your besties then at least Janis: Yeah, guess she's sticking to all her promises this time, she's done with me forreal, at least 'til midway through the month, like Janis: 🎻 Janis: I'll bell her but no promises you'll get your fave twin Janis: who doesn't love shiny things? bet there's some bones for Twix too, what a 🏆 I am Janis: if there was any doubt left in your mind Jimmy: 😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Oh, looks like she's at the gym Janis: thanks insta Janis: I'll leave it then Jimmy: Yeah, can't promise a decent work out, hyped as Twix is Jimmy: make do with you then, won't I Janis: Looks like it, pal Janis: Unlucky Jimmy: I'm well gutted, mate Janis: Better take it up with someone who gives a fuck 😜 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: the dog is enraptured, thanks for the tip Janis: Stop yapping and get to moving then! Janis: I've gotta shower, its that serious Janis: let me live, boy, ugh Jimmy: [Sends a pic of him being kissed to death by Twix] Jimmy: you ain't that special, mate Janis: Ouch Janis: 🔪💔 Janis: double betrayal Jimmy: #hookedherwithmysobstory Jimmy: you did yourself over with the good advice Janis: always the way Janis: too smart for me own good Janis: i'll get back on the shelf, like Jimmy: speaking of should we take the oldies dog for them? I'd naturally be buzzing to see your nan again Janis: see, knew you loved it really Janis: worse than my sister Janis: but it is a point Janis: probably chewing through the walls as we speak Jimmy: #relatable Cass is much the same Jimmy: I better start penning my pops a note, more pages for him to have to read the better 😜 Jimmy: might stop at 5 sides if he bothers to reply to my texts like Janis: wondered what bit you was referring to there...like surely she's not wasting her time with boys already?! but gotcha Janis: phew Janis: that'd be a whole saga to try and put on a post-it Jimmy: Dad would love that, two of us out from under his feet Jimmy: Marry Bobs off if he could 😂 Jimmy: but nah she's only 😍 for Twix same as you Janis: its a real shame the gov ain't on his side for that one Janis: the travellers do it, and they all turn out FINE, geez Janis: think your Da would be obligated to at least provide you all with your own caravan though Janis: no escaping fatherhood, eh? Jimmy: 👍 stuff of dreams there Jimmy: I am about a decent caravan though Jimmy: same goes for the others, always asking me when we going back Skerries Jimmy: steady on kids that shit's still #raw Janis: Awks..that's a holiday romance for you, lads, gotta make it a one-way ticket, no returns 😂 Janis: Maybe by Easter hols you'll be able to show your face 'round there again Janis: Weather would be better too Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: But yeah #fullofgoodideasyou Janis: full of something, has been said 😎 Janis: gotta gee myself up to see that bath again 'neway, been strictly cold showers since, like 😉 Jimmy: 😏 new year, new you though so Jimmy: #yougotthis Janis: can't say 'make more of a prick of yaself in 2039' was high on my resolution list, soz about it Janis: know how much you enjoy it 🙈 Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: I was down for the challenge if you were 😜 Janis: 😳 Janis: always a fool for you, boo Jimmy: 💕 cute Janis: 🖕 do it all for the 'gram Janis: still hate u Jimmy: 💋 Jimmy: same mate, same Janis: i feel it Janis: how long can we keep this charade going, like? 🤔 Jimmy: Gotta stretch it out 'til v-day naturally Jimmy: in it for the 🎁 Jimmy: in that spirit you want me to pick you up or you gonna walk to ours when you're ready? Janis: or the next, steak and blowjob day Janis: I see you boy Janis: that said, if we eating steak and all the love-heart shaped confectionery, I better walk it 💪 Janis: this is clearly why people always get fat when they're loved up Janis: not saying weigh your Dad for proof when he finally arrives but Janis was timed out 18 hours ago Jimmy: not saying we've got one realistically Jimmy: How good's your guestimation skills? Could feel another 🏆 coming on Janis: FUCCCCCCCCCCCK Jimmy: ???? Jimmy: you okay mate?