#don't take this too seriously. this is my having some fun hater hours. I love hating on Lolth

[wardensantoineandevka]

I support Dorian's beef against the Spider Queen, everyone should have a beef with the Spider Queen, not even JUST over Opal or like the underdark stuff (but absolutely for both of that too) but because everyone should have beef with Lolth by default 😤

[batsplat]

feel free to completely ignore this ask but i’ve been reading through your tennis posts and. god!! thank you!! so many great takes. i love this sport and will probably die watching it but the atp is really so dire at the moment and the wta is… well, it’s a lot better (mainly bc it actually has a competitive top ten with fun personalities), but i still think the rivalries could be more compelling

but if we’re talking about narrative atrocities then the atp is clearly mostly at fault. i find it crazy how so many people on tennisblr love sincaraz? just. nothing there to grab onto. way worse than fedal. i don’t really enjoy their match up stylistically (peaked with uso 2022 but these days it feels like all there is to say is “wow these guys really can hit the ball hard”. the most compelling angle i can find on them plotwise is that brief period of time around the china swing where it seemed like sinner was finally leaning into the bromance with alcaraz but only as a pr tactic to distract from the doping thing. bc at least that’s kinda messy

and i also like meddy but that’s been. um. a bit excruciating lately. truthfully my real fav is dan evans so this is possibly my own fault for not picking someone who looked even vaguely like a slam contender to back

i do have to say i find alcaraz’s flopping kinda compelling though. there’s clearly a mental struggle/adhd lack of focus there that a lot of people attribute to him being 21 but idk if he’ll ever iron out. i think there’s a realistic world in which he keeps peaking for a couple of tournaments a year but otherwise falls off & is dramatically overtaken by sinner/maybe fonseca/some other people & is kind of a precursor to their era… on the other hand maybe he’ll pull it together and i’ll just sit here with dan evans

oh please, my average ask response time is about 4-6 months but for tennis hater asks that dives down to under 24 hours. (pretend like I actually answered this in 24 hours. I would have if it hadn't been NYE.) I too obviously do not get why sinner/alcaraz are so popular, I mean I didn't get why federer/nadal are so popular so this is just a continuation of a theme for me. it's all been downhill since sampras/agassi, I keep saying. I don't even WANT to be annoying about this, I try not to be that picky, it's just that I thought we were getting a chaos era post big 3 for at least like,, a couple years. this is my issue right, I'm not even saying sinner/alcaraz and federer/nadal are ontologically evil (maybe), I'm just saying that if you win THAT much, you'd better have some insane narrative juice to keep it interesting. and quite frankly, the number of athletes in the history of sports who could make me enjoy that level of domination is probably in like,, the low double digits at best. but these guys aren't even trying!! for shame

as for popularity, idk, I guess people will just like any blokes who are good at sport. I don't really know what goes on in tennis tumblr, I never sought out that community (though I think some of my posts kinda accidentally breached containment, which is!! fine!! you guys are welcome! but also don't take any of my mouthing off seriously pretty please) BUT my general sense is that it's a lot of love for two tennis rivalries that I personally find... well. eh! well. now look, I do have to admit that I prefer my sports rivalries with a bit more antagonism and bitterness and resentment, I love a good feud. but it's not a non-negotiable requirement! I think the most important thing for me is having... well, stakes. I kind of need to feel like some of these losses are making a part of the loser's soul die with it. like they want and need it so badly and it'll also hurt if they lose. the most infamous encounters aren't just great because they're great in sporting terms, but they're great because they meant something to the athletes involved. you don't get a do-over, it's not just one of many encounters, it's something a bit sadder and uglier and broken... that's where the narrative juice comes from, the stakes. if you don't care then why should I, right

and this is broadly my issue with sinner/alcaraz. like,, if they lose, they'll be fine, right. obviously they really want to win, but it's also recoverable. they don't get sick at the thought of losing to each other. it's not a low point for them, it's not something they struggle to put behind them, it's not something that eats away at them. idk, sue me, I want the angst! I also think the rivalry peaked at uso 2022 - and it's not just because the tennis was so excellent, it's because it genuinely felt like sinner might have lost an opportunity and wouldn't be able to make up for it and it looked like it hurt. (I mean, I knew he'd make up for it because I have always had faith sinner would eventually be a multiple slam winner, but y'know for the non-enlightened people.) that was actually the most compelling stretch of the rivalry for me! where sinner was still kinda frail (bodily weakness as a substitute for a personality but we move) and was an okay player who only peaked when he played alcaraz. so there it was kind of... alcaraz really invested in a rivalry with this guy who isn't quite good enough to keep up until he's playing alcaraz. fine, it's not 'symbols of unity in a divided nation until one accused the other of cheating and the other said they'd never been friends at all' levels of narrative juice, but you can work with that. whatever. except obviously even that has been ruined because sinner doesn't even have the graciousness to still suck. I'm sick of these people!! sick to my stomach

and yeah I mean the drug thing is what counts as narrative tension these days... I did enjoy how sinner/alcaraz stonks briefly plummeted with alcaraz's extremely lukewarm response to sinner's little clostebol situation. similar to my schadenfreude when federer didn't show up to nadal's retirement, it's the little things in life. I honestly sort of stopped paying attention to men's tennis after uso so I didn't really know about the *gestures* asian swing sinner/alcaraz situation, though I suppose that would be theoretically interesting. it's not even that I think cold-blooded guys like sinner are inherently boring, it's just him specifically that's boring because he never DOES anything. henin was cold-blooded!! she would do anything to win, including some pretty blatant cheating! we used to be a proper sport! and while I broadly agree that I think the wta isn't like,,, at its PEAK potential - beyond the protagonists just being way more interesting as people than the atp lot, I do also think there's a couple very key differences between something like the sinner/alcaraz rivalry and, say, the swiatek/sabalenka rivalry

first off, I've stress tested this and know for a fact that iga does become less palpable for me if she isn't fallible - we tried this out in 2022, I got bored of her, I didn't hate her like I would an atp player but it did feel pretty tedious to me. NOW I am extremely hooked and cannot WAIT to see what year she'll have. I'm rooting for her!! I know I've said this before but igatha and sublanko really do benefit from how much they're visibly fighting demons. angst is good, struggle is good, they both look desperate to beat each other. I don't support broadcasters showing backstage video of them after their defeats as a matter of principle, but we've had one us open where we've seen aryna demolish a racquet after a defeat followed by another us open where we've seen iga cry and... it's humanising. I care because they're fallible and quite frankly a lot of the time they seem like they're barely holding it together. introverted vs extroverted, both intense but in completely different ways, massive contrast in everything about them including how they express their emotions - but they both frequently look like they might die if they don't win the next point. if I were on either of their teams, I would be working very hard on their ability to regulate their emotions (and tbf sublanko has gotten better at this). objectively, you do want to be a sinner-type on the court. but I am not being employed by any professional tennis player (open to requests though) and As A Fan, on-court disasters is what I want

secondly. I saw this going around a few days ago --

-- and my immediate response was 'aww'. which, idk, I obviously wouldn't have that reaction with sinner/alcaraz, or indeed any current men's rivalry. I did some self-examination to check whether this was just the misandry talking, but I think the crucial difference to me is that... well, they did dislike each other for a while! it wasn't a FEUD but it was definite tension. and now they've played a bunch and now they're getting warmer towards each other, and it feels more meaningful since there's actually an arc. and they're two interesting characters with an interesting relationship and I want to see where it'll go. it's not noughties wta but crucially the tennis is fun AND and and I don't go into every single tournament thinking one of two players will win it. now, if that were the case on the wta tour, then I probably would need iga and aryna to step up their narrative juice game. but as it currently stands, we're good

and on the alcaraz point.... I mean, maybe. ideologically, I am a big believer that people pay too much attention to slams. but idk, men's tennis kinda kills me on this because I've watched djokovic faff about at various tour-level events for years before locking in the second it gets to slams. if we're being honest in men's tennis it kinda is all about the slams because that's the tier that has been so completely and violently gatekept for so long. so I know that alcaraz fans do have to deal with some ups and downs but also like... I can't lie! at this point I would quite literally sacrifice at least a toe, possibly even two, for someone I like to have a bad year where they win two slams! my sympathy is limited! and then if anything it's even MORE annoying for me because I don't LIKE following the sport week in week out if I don't feel like I'm being emotionally rewarded for that commitment because none of that shit matters anyway. I think ideally you have a bunch of storylines on tour level that culminate in the slams. but in men's tennis, it feels like there's always only one show in town. you can fool yourself for a while that there isn't, but reality always inevitably comes calling

to actually engage with the substance of the alcaraz point and take my own emotion out of this, I do think it's true that alcaraz is 'underperforming' to some extent and a lot of it's psychological. my nuclear hot take about the jcf relationship is that I'm happy for everyone who thinks the dynamic has lovely vibes, but it's a lot of credit being given to someone who came in when the most important work had already essentially been done and still hasn't exactly fixed alcaraz's shot selection. alcaraz's floor is still too low, when he plays badly he plays really bad - and maybe it is partly a concentration thing, but I really don't think it's an unfixable problem. if it were completely a concentration/motivation thing, an ability to peak for big finals that falls away elsewhere, then maybe yes, but it's way more concrete and basic things where I feel like he rarely gets the balance quite right. a lot of the times it doesn't matter because he's so obscenely talented he really doesn't have to be playing the percentages, and I do agree on principle with the idea you don't want to overly regulate him to avoid taking his love for the game. but... you do need some patterns, you do need to make your plan a and plan b not so violently different, you need to come up with some ways of modulating your levels of offence that aren't 100% attacking absolutely everything or just using your athleticism to chase after balls. there's room in between! galaxies of space in between! and look, I'm old-fashioned, I also don't like how much ferrero coaches alcaraz because I don't think that's how tennis should work. but I'm not one of those people who thinks alcaraz is some hack fraud who would be 'exposed' without ferrero - I do however think it's a crutch and one that alcaraz should probably rethink for his own sake. because fundamentally, coaching can only do so much in the moment. talent and instinct are great, and maybe alcaraz just doesn't need more than that to make his choices for him. but if I were working on that team, I would be taking a long hard look at his decision making within points, and I wouldn't wait until he's in the middle of the point to do it

(but also I think he'll be fine because he's just that good lol, like if he's physically okay I really struggle to see all these other players overtaking him. maybe this is big three brain talking but idk just feels deeply unlikely)

as for the actual alcaraz/sinner match-up, I do think it's Fine but also we have to be honest with ourselves here and say that they've played one great match and played a lot of great... moments. that miami (?) 2023 point everyone remembers, it's great, but also the match it was in wasn't exactly a classic - and that's been one of the better ones. the roland garros match last year was actively terrible and nobody will convince me otherwise. it is vaguely interesting in that it's two very offence-inclined players who express that inclination in very different ways, and alcaraz is constantly dancing on the line of attempting to overhit against sinner. but also... idk, linear bashing isn't exactly my favourite style anyway in men's tennis and it's... you're not really allowed to say this as a tennis fan, but I don't really emotionally connect with alcaraz's tennis. my brain knows how brilliant it is, my heart doesn't feel it. I've tried, I really have. idk... maybe it's because he's just too talented, something in me almost feels like it devalues it, like it's making the impossible mundane. I just need more tension, even though he's been a loose cannon this past year I never really believe he's going to lose until he's lost. I get why his tennis makes everyone go crazy, but idk. I think I need to feel the possibility of failure to enjoy success. I can appreciate alcaraz's shots, I do very often, there's a backhand slice on the run passing shot he hit on some clay court a couple years ago I still regularly think about. but alas, my heart remains cold. what can you do

anyway. that's my first tennis hater post of the new year. people seem to keep coming back for more. extremely unenthused about men's ao (djokovic playing monfils later on in the year of our lord 2k25, they need to take this sport out back and shoot it), extremely hype for the girlies. I'm actually FINE with not being a MASSIVE fan of any of the top players, passionately rooting for scrubs and just enjoying the drama at the top as a mostly neutral bystander - which is ideally what you'd get from a dan evans stan-type gig, but unfortunately that doesn't really work if you actively despise most of the top players. I have no real opinions on fonseca as yet, I'm not really a huge wunderkind person in general unless they're so juiced up on the narrative they're on the verge of overdosing, but also where I'm at with sinner it might end up being some type of enemy of my enemy arrangement. or maybe I'll find him even more annoying!! lord knows I was rooting for sinner in that uso 2022 match. I had this moment in like 2017 where federer was making his comeback and I realised I'd had enough - and then eventually I got lured back in with the promise of the nextgen. the less said about how that's going the better. this situation isn't getting better I reckon... the time has come once again. it is what it is

[aetheternity]

i like hearing you talk about things so here's this: which characters do you think are underappreciated/not respected enough by the fan base? (besides the ones that you've made very clear of)

I've said it before and I'll say it again Xiao. I feel like a lot of people see him as some sort of hot object to project themselves onto either that or some kind of ship bait. I wish more people saw him as the beautiful character he is and yeah that's probably rich coming from someone who mostly posts Xiao when it's in relation to Aether but I truly do love his character as its own thing. I love how gentle he truly is despite his rough exterior. I love how socially awkward he is. I love it when he starts in on his old friends because it's the love he has for them still inside him showing. I love how dedicated he is to protecting Liyue and never takes credit for it. I wish he was a little less hard on himself and allowed himself to feel outside of his normal limits but yeah his karmic debt is scary and dangerous and he's always a little worried which makes sense because he's so so sensitive and it's really adorable 🥺 I wish I used him more but I truly hate his burst. Like HATE. I hate how annoying it is to use omg. But yeah he's so mischarcterized as like this hard ass dom and I'm like be serious he would cry the first time you tell him you love him 😭😭 I know you said besides the usual anon but like not enough people talk about Xiao as he is and not what the fandom has made him.

Qiqi 😭😭

My sweet little girl! She doesn't deserve literally any of the shit the fandom gives her. She's just a two hundred something year old little girl who wants to remember and live and dream. She told Traveler she wants to live with them till death. She's a really good healer even at C0 and she begs not to be buried again when she dies. She's way too cute. I wanna give her the world.

I think I've said before that Diluc deserves better. He's always called emo and stuck up but I have a secret love for Diluc. He's so caring and capable he immediately sought to help Venti without even being asked to. He loves Mondstadt so much he became rip off batman to protect it from evil. He used to own a turtle. He loves grape juice and hates wine despite being the owner of a tavern. He's just made fun of so much but he's such a unique and interesting character. I love his dark dealings and how he takes on the Fatui all on his own without asking for help and even when he knows it will ultimately do a lot of good for the Knights of Favonious he still helps out anyway. I'll never understand why people hate him so much. Mostly because I've never seen a Diluc hater explain why they hate him. It's always just "I hate Diluc." I don't get it.

Jean as well. She's so cute she is the only anemo female that I use on a consistent basis despite hating the mechanics of her burst. I hate how people simplify her to just being a woman obsessed with her job. Putting her in the same group as Ganyu and Kokomi like bitch Jean loves reading romance novels and projects onto the characters because she wants romance too! She used to own a turtle too! I am seriously so so happy that someone wrote that in Jean and Diluc are turtle twins. I hate that everyone forgets it's so freaking cute 😭. Jean literally had to take on a job that requires her to: make orders for groups of individuals on a daily basis, protect Mondstadt at all times including during fucking festivals, watch over K*ee and take care of the tiniest most ridiculous problems Mondstadt has to offer. Cause if Jean had been there she would've had to help Venti get his strings back and listen to Kaeya's demands. I probably missed some stuff she does on a daily but like yeah I think you get my point. I one thousand percent believe if Traveler weren't there and Jean just up and fainted again the whole city would be up in smoke in less than three hours. I don't think Jean deserves to be considered as nothing more than a hard working woman. Plus unlike Albedo with that little brat K*ee I one hundred percent believe Jean would hang out with Barbara all day if she could.